You Left Us – Part 3
Just a continuation of the pervious chapter! I hope you all enjoy it!
WARNING: This chapter contains spanking of a minor (13-year-old) as a form of discipline. There is swearing. Don't like? Find it offensive? Please, don't read it.
Regret set in immediately for offering the unhinged teenager the opportunity to walk away. In hindsight, it was clear she held no desire to be rationally civil and his laptop paid the price. Ellie assumption about his laptop being personally valuable to the man was not far off the mark as it was not only his personal property and vital tool he used when researching cases, but it was a tool in aiding him to find a cure for his dying brother at the moment and Ellie's rash attempt to purposefully damage it infuriated the man. However, what Ellie got dead wrong was his regard for her far exceeded the worth of his computer and he was about to assert that fact into her common sense immediately.
Without a second thought, Sam set into action by lurching his body forward without so much as a word of warning. With baffling speed, the man extended his long arm out and snatched a hold of Ellie's left bicep making the muscles in her arm tense harshly in response. Sam constricted his stiff fingers around her slim bicep firmly, creasing and bunching the soft bulky fabric of her grey sweatshirt around his grip, before jerking the aghast teenager towards him as he simultaneously stood up onto his black socked feet. Ellie let out an embarrassingly loud gasp as she felt her body lurch towards the fed-up man's tall toned frame that was towering over her significantly, making Ellie become dauntingly aware of the staggering height difference of the 6'4 Hunter compared to her petite five-foot build.
Without hesitation and a fierce determination set against his heated nerves, Sam swiftly jerked the teenager to the side so she was facing away from him giving Ellie a glimpsing view of her dismayed expression within the white bordered mirror's reflection that sat above the small white dresser across from her. Knowing exactly what was coming, Ellie scrunched her face up automatically in dreaded anticipation as she shifted up onto the balls of her feet pedaling her heels against the soft compressed fibers of the shaggy green carpeting fretfully preparing herself for the cracks that were sure to come.
With his strong fingers firmly constricted around her bicep, Sam did not disappoint as he raised his arm high before bringing his large flattened palm down sharply and swiftly onto the denim target of the girl's blue jean covered backside. A resounding pop rang within the close walls of the small motel room that was immediately followed by Ellie's gasping grunt.
Ellie expected it to hurt, of course, but she was shocked at just how potently punishing that crack was setting in a swift and stinging realization within Ellie comprehension that the kind man was no push-over, doormat, punching bag or meek-minded individual who was not only not going accept her disrespect, but punish her for it.
Ellie arched her lower back as her slim hips jutted forward from the forcefully impact driving her up onto her toes making her socked feet shift and shuffle slightly against the soft carpeting. The blossoming sting seep through the thick denim fabric of her Levi blue jeans and deep into her skin producing a burning sensation of a firm handprint over right butt cheek. However, Ellie didn't have too long to comprehend the smarting swat before Sam bent his torso down and, with a rigid resolve set against his hardened features, relayed a series of sharp rapid pops to the seat of her jeans in a controlled, but rigorous manner. Each resounding pop becoming increasingly more forceful then the last as he strategically and purposefully layered his smacks in the exact same spot setting swift and intensifying fire across the disrespectful teenager's rearend.
A pained grimaced set upon Ellie's dismayed features as she began to squirm and shift on the balls of her socked feet, whimpering, grunting, and hissing through her gritted teeth at every blisteringly hard spank. Unable to help herself, Ellie attempted to turn and angle her hips away from the man's ridiculously large palm, that seemed to annoyingly cover most of the width of her slender backside, but that proved to be useless as Sam kept a steady and rooted hold around her bicep, never allowing the girl to deviate outside the tight confines of his established space, hitting his target every damn time without fail giving the girl not one ounce of relief. With the layering and concentrated swats not differing from the center seat of her jeans, the distressed young girl reached her free hand back instinctually to cover that sore area which was blazing with a swelling and prickingly heat, only to have an almighty crack connect with the soft flesh of her open palm. The most painful 'low-five' she had ever received and she regrated it instantly. The nerve endings within her palm stung wildly making her immediately snatch her hand away from her backside. A frustrated whine hummed within her throat as she shook out the sting in her hand shifting and bouncing her socked feet around in discomfort, feeling the panicking discouragement of not swaying Sam's descending palm to halt even for a moment. It was becoming abundantly clear to the young girl that Sam intended her to feel every punishing spank without pause.
After about five remarkably sharp pops to her burning seat, leaving Ellie with a lingering heat that pulsed in the dead center of her lower cheeks, Sam released his indented fingers from around her bicep. Pulling his arm back high, and much to Ellie's dismay, the man delivered one final scorching crack to the exact same spot as all the others propelling the girl forward forcing her to take a jumping step in his desired direction.
"Ow!" Ellie yelped reaching a hand back and cupping the center of her smarting backside feeling the prickling heat from her palm and her bottom radiate against each other. She had only received less than a dozen swats, but Sam ensured they were annoyingly memorable delivering each one in a rigidly controlled, precise and punishingly firm manner causing her backside to burn with a concentrated and throbbing ache.
"To the wall." Sam barked sharply, extending his long arm out and pointing a commanding finger towards the black floral accent wall across from the two queen beds.
Hearing his imposingly stern command thunder behind her, Ellie limbs flinched and jolted spreading an urgent and anxious drive within her to move her sore ass and move it quickly. The chastised girl complied with earnest, scurrying the balls of her white socked feet across the green carpet, subconsciously keeping her palm cupped protectively over her stinging bottom. Ellie curved her path around the bulky 'waiting room chair' that sat out a few feet away the wallpapered accent wall and rushed to the empty space in between the half wall corner and the small white dresser.
As soon as Ellie made it to the wall, with Sam's towering frame trailing close behind her with weighted and determined strides tremoring against the carpeted floor, she hastily jerked her body around to face him, only too eager to keep her smarting rearend away from the man's large palm that Ellie had come to find, packed a startling wallop.
With his muscles tensed in repressed aggravation, the tall Hunter settled his black socked feet in front of Ellie, both of their bodies parallel to the black floral wall. The man's tall 6'4 frame loomed over Ellie with a confident, commanding, and authoritative presence that was almost awe-striking to young Ellie making her feel like nothing more than tiny aunt in comparison, leaving no doubt in her mind who the adult was in this scenario. Despite, the Hunter carrying a controlled and dignified air about him, Ellie could feel the repressed heat of infuriated disapproval and disappointment radiating off the tightly reigned man, like a blazing fire being rigidly contained. Regardless of his commendably controlled demeanor, it was no less severely daunting to the teenage girl to be on the receiving end of the man disapproval.
To her prideful dismay, her shoulders hunched inward and her head ducked down by her ears slightly feeling every bit like a little girl who had just got her ass handed to her. Ellie was coming to find out, although Sam had an uncommonly kind and understanding nature, he was no meek-minded man and there were certain principles he stood rigidly by and, as evidence to the throbbing ache in her backside, was not going to hesitate to instill those principles into her young mind, all for the simple, yet, profound reason that he cared about the little girl in front of him to a degree that scared the hell of him.
With her backside throbbing with a persistent ache, Ellie's russet eyes, rounded with a regained timidness, peered up at Sam cautiously for further direction, unsure of why he wanted her 'to the wall'. With his poised features indented in a vexed frown, Sam was only too obliged to inform her as he grabbed a hold of her right bicep and, without a word, swiftly steered her around until her shoulders were square with the black floral wallpaper that was riddled with dulled white vine flowers etched in marron. Half expecting another spank to come swift, Ellie instinctually stiffened her muscles and clenched her sore butt cheeks tautly in fretful anticipation, but the swat never came.
"You're gonna stand here till you cool off and can find a respectful tone with me." Sam declared in a deeply stern tone that had Ellie's nerves tingle with unrest as she had never heard him so intensely disgruntled before and there was a pin prick of regret that she had brought that out of the composed man.
Ellie fluttered her knees back and forth in restless and fidgety agitation feeling a restrained whine travel up her scratchy throat as she grimaced from both the discomfort of the dense fabric of her blue jeans chafing against the bottom half of her sore cheeks, and the embarrassed discontentment of not only getting her ass smacked, but being forced into a 'time-out'. Although, knocking Sam's laptop to the floor in a fit of rage was not winning her any points in the maturity department and, no matter how much she didn't want to admit it, it did seem humiliatingly fitting. A blushing heat blossomed over the apples of Ellie's freckled cheeks as she dipped her head in sheepish shame, allowing her navy ballcap and curtaining brown locks to shield her profile from his rigorously stern and steady gaze that seemed to be piercing right through her.
"I don't know when you thought it was okay to scream and cuss in my face, little girl, but it sure as hell isn't. You can be angry at me all you want, but that damn well doesn't mean you get to throw a childish fit and knock my laptop to the floor just because I told you to walk away. Like it or not, young lady, you are in my care and under my protection and you will talk to me with some respect or you will not talk to me at all." Sam lectured crisply cupping his palms on his lean hips in a reproachful manner, his deepened voice punctuating his words with a severe disapproval and intolerance making Ellie bite the soft flesh of her bottom lip in contrite dismay as her eyes concentrated on the lower half of the black wall.
"Now face the wall." Sam demanded tersely, a biting edge of strained aggravation weighing against his words, making Ellie raise her dipped head up, setting her gaze upon the faded black wallpaper straight in front of her. A large white vine flower lined in maroon leveled directly in her sight that she noticed, with discontentment, had a thin coating of dust across it.
"Toes to baseboard." Sam instructed firmly as he dropped his hands to dangle at his sides before lifting his black socked foot up nudging the base of Ellie's heels, making her shuffle her feet until the tips of her white shocked toes brushed against the off-white chipping paint of the slim baseboard that was faded, dirtied, and scuffed from decades of wear.
"Hands at your sides, you look straight ahead." Sam relayed his instructions with a brisk curtness; any possibilities of lenience were exhausted within the stressed and tired man. From his perspective, he gave her more than fair warning to curb her belligerent attitude and now she had to simply face the consequences of her decisions.
Sam being no stranger to this type of discipline, knew the punishment was boring, uncomfortable, and challenging, but it was doable and damn good deterrent as he recalled being on the receiving end more often than he cared to admit in his early years and well into his teens. Much to his recalled dismay, Sam found himself staring at some motel wall with a sore backside for his mouth more than Dean because, like Ellie, thanks to his bold Winchester stubbornness and constant need to challenge his old man on just about everything he did landed him in hot water often. Despite keeping himself tightly reigned and maturely composed even in his younger years, he would let it build up to a point of intolerance and he would, ultimately, end up exploding in his old man's face, exactly like Ellie did with him only a few minutes ago.
Sam didn't rightly want to admit the similarities between himself and his old man, especially when it came to discipline, as he viewed the way they were raised as unconventionally 'jacked' as the world they lived in. However, no matter how much he didn't want to believe his old man's tendency towards strict discipline were creeping into his manner, he couldn't deny they were there, as being the one on the receiving end of hormonal teenage rage seemed to bring out an edgy and stern side to the steadfast Hunter. It was no secret having a young life to look after in this dangerous world was intensely burdensome and demanding, and it was a rather eye-opening experience for the young twenty-two-year-old who, honestly, never really had such an intense responsibility of keeping a child breathing before. The newfound prospective seemed to force a personal growing change within as his care for the little girl in front of him began to set deep within his core.
Although he was certain he would have gotten one hell of ass beating rather than just a just a couple of well-placed cracks if he expressed one ounce of that blatant disrespect to John Winchester, the shadow of his old man's demeanor was there. And despite taking no pleasure in punishing the teenager, from Sam's perspective, little Ellie more than earned it and the assured man didn't regret one spank he gave her wayward backside. In fact, there was a part of him that was unsatisfied in his decision not to give the kid a full-fledged spanking for how outrageously out of line she was for purposefully attempting to damage his laptop as she, in the most simplest terms, dodged a bullet on that one.
Ellie felt an embarrassed groan wanting to grumble in her throat. It wasn't enough she had to stand there and face the grimy and gaudy looking wall, which was awkwardly humiliating in itself, but she had to stand there in such a ridged and formal way, almost 'at attention', like some soldier. And having her toes to the baseboard placed Ellie's nose only inches away from the musty smelling wall, that probably had never seen a rag in years, and if it wasn't for the brim length of her navy cap, she would be practically kissing the dust covered flower in front of her. And since she was so damn close, her field of vison was excessively narrowed to only a few inches in front of her which was horribly and aggravatingly limiting to the anxious teenager upping the notch of shittiness to a whole new level.
"You move, young lady, and I'll assume you want to go over my knee." Sam added with stern warning in a calm, yet forceful tone that indicated it was no idle threat. Sam trusted the sting in her backside to compel her to listen and do as she was told, but if not, the fed-up man had no problem convincing the proud teenager he was a man of his word.
And with that, Sam turned his rigid body calmly away from her and treaded his socked feet back towards the mess to the left of the bed leaving the little girl to her punishment, giving the introspective man the space he required to cool himself off.
His broad back muscles tensed under his dark grey sweater as his eyes laid on his laptop that was laying screen side down propped up on its edges, in an obtuse-like triangle against the indented fibers of the forest green carpet. The very sight of it had Sam continuing to fight the urge not to regret giving the girl a full-on ass beating for damaging his property. With a huff of exasperated air expelling from his nostrils Sam reached down and tucked his fingers under the fold and picked up his computer praying she hadn't completely destroyed it beyond use. Standing to his full height, Sam flipped it over and was shocked to find that, by some miracle, there was no visible damage done. In fact, after tapping on a few keys and gliding his finger over the touchpad, it appeared the sturdy laptop withstood the assault.
With her gaze set narrowly upon the white vine flower in front of her, Ellie huffed out of waft of hot air through her nose causing the veiling layer of dust particles on the wall to scatter and float around her face filling her nostrils with an unpleasantly stale odor. With her freckled nose crinkled and her lips contorted in a pouty detest, the young girl gritted her teeth and balled her hands into tight fists feeling her arms straighten stiffly at her sides as her limbs began to shake with severe agitation. The intense emotional distress and frustration of it all was ramping through her young mind like a turbulent storm, aggressively bombarding her with an overwhelming array of powerful and contradicting emotions. Her developing mind struggled to make sense of all the turmoil, making her want to just throw her head back and scream. And with a sore backside reminding her about her shameful outburst, the young teen, unable to manage, reeled back her right socked foot and struck the balls of her foot against the chipping baseboard with a dull thud expelling some of her tremendous frustration and rage on to cheap wood.
Suppressing a huffy growl that was threatening to emanated through her gritted teeth, Ellie immediately shifted herself back into place, positioning her toes back against the baseboard, not daring to defying the man who skillfully showed her just how quickly he could burn a smarting ache into her ass. Ellie tipped her head forward and tapped the brim of her ballcap against the wall in distressed agitation, clenching and unclenching her fists at her sides in a fidgety manner.
A sudden touch of reminded exhaustion pressed against Ellie's muscles sedating her tension just enough to allow her spent anger to begin to slowly bleed away into her chest. It was then, an unexpected surge of irrepressible pain began to surfaced in its place, engulfing her heart with a tremendous and overwhelming ache that seemed to sink straight down into her bone. Ellie's face scrunched up into woeful grimace as she dipped her head low feeling her throat constrict and become painfully raw as uncontainable tears well-up in her eyes blurring her vision. Sobs knocked desperately and aggressively against her chest begging to be released. So tired and so overwrought with emotion, Ellie was unable to prevent her tears from escaping and the droplets began to cascade down her cheeks silently. It hurt. God, it hurt so bad. Mucus began to build up in her nose rapidly and a small quiet sniffle emanated from the sad little girl.
After he had picked up the mess on the floor, Sam settled his backside back on the edge of the firm mattress, his forearms resting on his spread jean-covered thighs as his torso bend forward slightly keeping a steadily pensive and poised gaze on the little girl's turned back. Unbeknownst to Ellie, Sam's eyes laid attentively fixed on her every move, witnessing her aggravated kick to the wall and her struggle to gain compose. His masculine features were smooth out in a calm, but solemn expression as he focused eyes captured every fidget, sway, shudder, and sniffle from the troubled teenager.
Although Ellie remained stubbornly quiet for the most part, there were small flinches of her shoulders and telling twitches that were unmistakable to the observant man. Sam dipped his head down before sighing out a deep hallowed breath through his nose feeling his tense muscles slacken at her distress. Feeling his empathetic heart soften almost instantly, the reflective man lifted his backside off the mattress and treaded his feet calmly over to the downhearted little girl.
The smooth vibrations of the man's approaching footsteps thudding dully against the soft carpeting had Ellie's limbs stiffen harshly in automatic defense. Ellie sucked in a short stream of air clogging her breath against her raw throat, as the shadow of the Hunter's tall toned frame veiled over her angling himself to the left side of her. Not wanting to be judged for weakly succumbing to her emotions and crying like some untrained civilian kid, Ellie automatically turned her head to the side towards the corner of the half-wall away from the Hunter's prying eyes, shamed embarrassment flushing her completion.
With his dark brows furrowed in concerned compassion, feeling a pinch of offense at her defensive mistrust, Sam reached out and gently placed his heavy palm on her slender shoulder, that was warmed with a slight lingering heat from the firm pops he had just given her. The man rotated her to the side until her shoulders was angled towards him away from the wall. Ellie kept her head down allowing her straight brown locks to curtain her face and her navy cap to conceal her tear-stained cheeks in shadow as she chocked her sobs back holding them stiffly and stubbornly in her raw throat. Ellie directed her focus on his black socked feet unable to look at him as an overwhelming shame ensnared conscience. Shame about the way she acted, what she said, but most of all the shame of failing Sam and Dean when they needed her most. Stubbornly holding her accumulating tears in her eyes, Ellie sniffled and reached up to swipe the pleated cuff of her plain grey sweatshirt under her runny nose to collected the watery mucus before it dripped onto the floor.
Sam sighed heavily feeling sympathy tug at his heart as he looked down at the little girl who appeared innocently small to him in this moment, not just in terms of height and build, but a childlike vulnerability as well. He had to remind himself, the tough little girl in front of him was only thirteen, and although, a strong little thing, she was still just barely a teenager. The biting sting of provoked aggravation that was sitting against his chest began to dissipate at her obvious distress feeling the icy shards of her words melt against his kind heart as the tender care he held for the little girl in front of him produced a powerfully protective instinct and significant need to take away her pain.
"Come here, Ellie." Sam's hushed smooth vocals reverberated gently against his chest as he reached out his long-toned arms away from his sides slightly in an offering and beckoning manner.
Still unable to look at the man, Ellie slowly shook her head back and forth knowing she didn't really deserve it for how rude she was and although, there was ping of fierce appreciation for his immediate forgiveness, there was a part of her that fought against the affection, subconsciously not wanting to get too close to the man the left her. Despite rationally understanding his reasons for leaving, Ellie knew, sooner or later, rejection and abandonment were bound to happen again. Not because it had anything to do with her much to her dismay, but because it was just in the nature of Hunters to leave and she was, instinctually, protecting herself for when it did. It may be foolish, misguided, and counterintuitive to refuse much needed comfort and connection, but that is what pain and fear does to a person and Ellie was tired of being in pain.
Not wanting to fully admit it, there was, also, a part of her that was still clinging onto a sliver of stubborn resentment that came with being spanked and put in front a the musty wall. Despite no doubt deserving it, it was the first time Sam had ever taken it upon himself to punish her. In Ellie's young mind, she deemed him as the lenient, understanding, Hunter and getting a sound and painful reprimand from the man was a profound wake-up call and it was selfishly disheartening.
"You prefer to stare at the wall and pout?" Sam questioned graciously calm, but there was a slight edge of irritation in his tone as he indicated her stubborn sulking was not appreciated, a testament to his tired and raddled nerves that were still fizzling down from Ellie's unwelcomed outburst.
Ellie nodded her head a touch, almost unnoticeably, feeling reluctancy stiffen at her neck muscles as her body strained with stubborn confliction against her dire need for comfort and closeness.
Sam inhaled a stream of air before sighing it out heavily through his nose pressing his lips together in a pensive line, always baffled at her will to remain foolishly obstinate. Needing to see her face, Sam reached his hand out gently pushed his curved pointer finger under her delicate rounded chin guiding her gaze upwards until he met her tear-filled eyes. Sam felt the muscles within his heart constrict as the light of the standing wall lamp next to the dresser behind him illuminated the girl's lightly freckled features. There was a deep set of dark circles under her watery brown eyes, with stained tear streaks that trailed down her cheeks which were paled from stress and lack of sleep making her appear almost sickly. The natural youthful glow that shinned through her complexion was dulled and careworn aging her to a small degree.
A heavy rock of guilt plummeted into his gut weighing his tired burdened muscles down as he had been far too focused on finding a way to save his brother's life that he neglected to notice just how stressed the little girl was. Although, he instructed her to eat and go to sleep, even assigning some exercise drills to keep the active girl's energy engaged, it clearly was not enough. Despite having pressing matters occupying his mind, the principled man did not regard it as an adequate excuse. He was responsible for this little girl and he took every bit of his job to protect and care for her seriously, seeing it as a straight up failure on his part. Despite deeming himself an observant and diligent man, the secretive and private teenager did an incredible job of hiding her struggles from him. While there was a large part of him that was frustrated with her for being purposefully deceitful in concealment, he knew the fault lied entirely on him for not being more attentive and ensuring with one hundred percent certainty the kid actually did what he asked of her. How many meals did she skip behind his back? How much sleep did she actually get? From her pale-worn face, it didn't look like much, if any at all.
"I-I don't want Dean to die." Ellie explained in woeful despair, her voice cracking and breaking against her raw throat as two tears dripped from her watery russet brown eyes, one trailing down her cheekbone and under her jawline, while the other fell on the apple of her pale cheek glistening against the warm glow of the wall lamp behind the Hunter's tall toned build. Her face was entangled and strained in a pain-filled anguish as her bottom lip trembled uncontrollably and her nostrils flared with tension as she fought to keep herself from falling apart.
Sam visibly swallowed, his Adam's apple bobbing up and down feeling a roughness begin to scratch at his own throat at her raw innocent words. Keeping his curved finger under her chin, Sam reached his thumb upwards and automatically swiped away the glistening tear on her cheek. The man removed his curved finger from under her chin before moving to cup his warmed palm against the base of her cranium. With a gentle guiding pressure, the man drew the sad little girl beckoningly toward him. The tired and burdened teenager submitted almost immediately as she turned her head to the left and allowed the man to press her tear-stained cheek against the lower half of his sturdy chest. His warm palm shifted to the side of her head just above her temple and behind her ear. His large calloused palm cupped and enclosed around the side of her head applying a gentle pressure against the solid muscles of his chest. Sam leaned down a bit as he wrapped his other toned arm around her placing his palm in the center of her back pressing her into a full protective and forgiving embrace.
"I know." Sam admitted gently in a hushed tone of understanding that was calming and relieving against Ellie's ears feeling her body physically response as an alleviating weight pulled away from her burdened body, making her limbs slack with released tension and melt into the forgiving man's body with trusting tenderness.
The warm comforting embrace set off a powerful sense of security within her allowing her to let go and cry her sorrows freely. The tense thin fibers of Sam's dark grey sweater chafed softly and warmly against her raw cheek as she pressed herself into the lower half of his solid sternum. The rich earthy musk of an amber-like smell along with lingering bitter notes of dark coffee emanated off the man and filled the little girl's nostrils with a familiarizing sent bring a further, unwitting, comfort to her as she wrapped her slim arms around the man's mid-section grabbing ahold of the thin soft fibers of his soft sweater. Ellie sobbed openly, but not loudly, holding onto a somewhat level and composed dignity as she strained to keep a check on herself, a foolish, but fated defense mechanism to ensure her sanity and protect her heart by not giving herself completely over to despair.
The sheer guilt of all she had done came crashing over her like a title wave as she relinquished her stubbornness and allowed herself to feel the pain completely. Not only had she failed Dean, but she had wrongly and harshly accused Sam, going as far as swearing at him and blaming him for her failure. It was, in the most simplest terms, cruel and it was highly uncalled for and wrong on all moral levels from any human being with decency. And Ellie was dishearteningly ashamed of herself more than she had been in a long while. How could she be so cruel to such a good man? It was embarrassing how mentally weak she was to take it all out on him, like some toddler who couldn't control her emotions. She was a thirteen-year-old Hunter, not some spoiled, sheltered, civilian kid. She cared about this man and she, immaturely, allowed her emotions and anger to get the better of her and he didn't deserve that, not by a long shot. Why was she such a bad kid? Were there any redeeming qualities about her? Insecure feelings of self-reproach seemed to consume her young mind as she judged herself harshly and unfairly, unable to help, but think, she didn't deserve his kindness or forgiveness for what she had done and said to him. She couldn't even save his brother. She was as useless as wasted space, a dragging burden they got stuck with and she was proving that to them with every passing day it seemed.
"I-I didn't mean it, any of it." Ellie confessed through her sobs, her voice weighted down with a heavy remorse and regret making Sam close his eyes and sigh out a deep breath through his nostrils. Although the astute Hunter doubted she didn't mean everything she said, he was certain she regretted how she said it.
Hearing the pain in the kid's voice was like needles pricking at his soft heart. "I'm so so sorry for-for being disrespectful and c-cussing at you. I-I was so mean. I know it wasn't your fault. It-It was mine. I-I was there, I…"
"Hey." Sam admonished gently cutting the girl off immediately feeling a pressing need to set the records straight that the kid shared no part of the blame in any of this unforeseen tragedy. "Don't talk like that, alright? None of that was your fault." Sam assured, his soothing and gentle voice leveling out in an honest, but assertive tone, his masculine features grimacing in a soften concern.
"But-But it was…" Ellie insisted, not wanting to downplay her failure and take responsibility for her part as she believed wholeheartedly that it was her fault.
A fortitude and fierce objection set against Sam's muscles as he stiffened with offended and alarming concern making Sam release his hold around her. Ellie let go of Sam's lean waist automatically as he placed his large palms on her shoulders pushing away from her slightly before crouching his body down onto a deep squat so the tall man was more eye level with the teenager, wanting direct eye contact before he said what he had to say. Sam released his palms from her slim shoulders placing one knee on the green carpeting while leaving the other propped up as he rested his toned forearms on his jean covered thigh in a relaxed, but deliberate manner. The lines in Sam's masculine features were soften into a gentle rapport as he regarded the teenager with a collected, but solemnly assertive gaze, holding an air of poised and confident authority.
Unable to look at the man she cussed at and blame needlessly, Ellie kept her head dipped down setting her gaze upon the man's flexed thighs and hanging forearms.
"Look at me, Elena." Sam ordered with a gentle firmness that compelled Ellie to raise her gaze, tentatively peering up at him from under the brim of her navy cap. It wasn't until Ellie's eyes connected with his, did the Hunter speak.
"This is a dangerous business were in and no matter how many precautions we take, there is still a risk that no one, not even the most skilled and experienced Hunters, can prepare for or foresee. Things just happen." Sam explained in composed tone, emphasizing his words in a serious and compelling manner, all the while keeping his wide eyes locked onto Ellie's, not deviating his gaze even for a moment as he engaged the little girl attention completely.
"Now, I want you to listen to me very carefully, Elena. What happened to Dean in that basement was not your fault. There is nothing you could have done differently that would have changed the outcome of that. And you were right, maybe, if I was there, I could have prevented it somehow, but that 'what if' is entirely on me. Not you, young lady. You are a thirteen-year-old little girl and you do not hold the responsibility of a grown man's life in your hands. That's not how this works, kiddo." Sam's relayed his words purposefully, punctuating them with a firm honesty and steady resolve, his wide green eyes glinting imploringly as he urged her to listen to reason and come to the correct conclusion that there was nothing she could have done.
"But-But I could've…" Ellie began to argue wanting to relay the one important factor he left out.
"No." Sam punctuated with a firm adamancy, his voice dipping down to a deeper tone making Ellie heart jolt slightly against her chest, a bit stunned at his intensely firm insistence. His keen green eyes held a gravity of unyielding resolve making Ellie swallow her unsaid words as it was clear the Hunter condemned them.
"You couldn't have." Sam opposed immovably; the astute man knew exactly what the misguided little girl was going to say about disobeying a direct order to back Dean up.
In Sam's mind, there was, absolutely, no choice for her in that department. If she would have gone in recklessly half-cocked before the Rawhead was killed, it would not only, undoubtably, go after her, but she could've just as easily gotten electrocuted when Dean shot the damn thing. In all cases and all scenarios, her 'backing Dean up' during the Hunt would never be an acceptable option, no matter what she thought. And Sam needed to her believe that, not just to alleviate her misplaced guilt, but to direct her reckless thinking away from the idea that disobeying on a Hunt was ever necessary. She was a kid, with a hell of lot of more years of experience to gain before she could even think to make such a call. In short, her thinking was not only wrong, but very dangerous. That type of misplaced thinking could get her killed and Sam, with every fiber of his being, was not going to let that happen.
"You did everything you were supposed to do." Sam insisted with an assertive resolve that all, but told Ellie he meant every word. "You got those kids to safety and you concealed the Rawhead's body from the police and paramedics. You were smart and your quick thinking not only saved us a lot of trouble with law, but you got Dean the help he required in time. That's was all thanks to you and I am so proud of you and grateful for what you did. I just apologize for not saying it sooner, kiddo." Sam's words were said with a firm sincerity that had Ellie's heart swelling with a shocking, yet powerful, warmth of feeling appreciated and valued countering her harsh thoughts towards herself a few minutes ago. Ellie blinked her brown eyes innocently as her red tinted lips parted a touch inhaling a small stream of air as took in his praising words. Ellie never gave her actions that much credit, she was just doing what she had to do in the moment, but Sam seemed to put a great value behind them going as far as being proud of her and suggesting that the reason Dean was even breathing right now was because of her.
Ellie didn't realize how much she craved those words until Sam actually said it and she found herself holding onto his words with a private, but zealous gratitude, allowing them to sink under her protective skin and touch her heart. As a Hunter's kid, all she ever stived for was to be valued and appreciated, measuring her worth on her ability to remain useful and capable in the Hunting world. Protecting people and those she cared about was her instilled purpose as it was all she had ever known and her little Hunter's soul lived for the elation of being worthy of praise. However, this did not come without a hindering guilt as she was so disrespectful to Sam only a few minutes ago. And here he was being so kind her when she really didn't deserve it, but deserving or not, that didn't seem to stop the man who relayed his words with such tender honesty that Ellie was compelled to believe he actual meant it, at least for now.
Sam suddenly broke eye contact for the first time since he squatted down to her level, his eyes travel over shoulder appearing to look off into the distance, a pensive and serious expression casting over his masculine features as he nodded to himself once rolling his tongue across the inside of his cheek before dipping his head down and looking at the small space of carpet in between them. Sam shifted and squirmed in a discomforted, almost awkward, manner as he took a moment to collect himself before lifting his head and turning his gaze back up to Ellie.
"But you shouldn't have had to go through that on your own." Sam admitted in a soft tone with a weighted guilt tugging at his heart, looking at the girl eyes with some difficulty, but to his credit, his face never outwardly showed his struggle, as he remained composed and confident owning his words with a masculine dignity. "And I am sorry I wasn't there to spare you from that." Sam apologized in a hushed gentle tone of sincerity, knowing if he was there, she wouldn't have had to deal with all the difficult things she had too all alone. Sam imagined finding Dean laying there unresponsive must have been truly terrifying. It was a heavy responsibility for anyone, let alone a thirteen-year-old girl and his failure as a man to protect her from that eat harshly at his masculine conscience. It didn't escape Sam's astute comprehension that they were damn lucky she was a smart little girl who knew what to do in that situation or Sam was certain his brother would not be breathing right now and he would be forever grateful to her for that.
Ellie blinked at him innocently unsure quite how to take his apology. Although she felt grateful for it, there was a part of her that felt it confusingly unnecessary. While she understood he wanted to protect her, sparing her from the unforeseen trauma seemed needless to the Hunter's kid, as she experienced trauma due to the supernatural almost all of her life. It was just part of her life that she naively accepted as she knew of nothing different. But it was clear that he cared for her and that, in itself, was enough to make Ellie's heart swell with an elated, but simple feeling of being valued.
"I want you to understand the reason I left, had nothing to do with you. That was between Dean and I." Sam confessed honestly attempting to heal the hurt he had unwittingly caused her. Despite not regretting following his own path, he did regret hurting the kid and not being there for Ellie and Dean in the unforeseen tragedy that transpired.
Ellie dark brows furrowed mildly feeling ping of dejected offense as it was clear she wasn't even in the equation of his thoughts when he decided to leave, heedlessly unaware of how his absence would affect her. Although she supposed she wasn't really one to criticize as she only five minutes ago impulsively flew off the handle by knocking his laptop to the floor blindly unaware of just how rashly hurtful that was in the moment.
"It wasn't because I did not care or wanted to leave you. I just needed some time to work things out on my own. It was never my intention to hurt you, kiddo, but I apologize that I did." Sam expressed sincerely conveying his words openly and honestly with the teenager unknowingly setting an example of a healthy and admirable way to take responsibility.
However, Sam didn't have to say much as Ellie's forgiveness was swift. As soon as the first words of Sam's apology were spoke, the young girl's heart swelled with a childlike understanding not only because she cared about the honest man, but she held a tenderness and admiration towards him despite his ridiculously hard palm. However, despite her immediate and complete forgiveness, the girl would always carry an edge of mistrust and uncertainty resulted by his desertion. Not because she wanted to out of stubborn spite, but simply because she had been left too many times by those she cared about not to. Although understanding the fair reasoning behind the absence, it still forced her to build up higher walls around her heart to protective herself for when the time came when he would leave again. Despite believing he would never intend to hurt her in following his ambitions, as Sam said 'things just happen' in the Hunting world, and you are forced to be separated from the ones you care about. Some by personal choice, like her uncle and Sam, and some by ill fate, like her parents and, now, Dean.
"And I promise I'm going to do everything in my power to get Dean better. I'm not going to let him die without a damn good fight." Sam promised the teenager with an unshakeable and compelling fortitude that had Ellie believing every word.
So am I. Ellie thought inwardly feeling her stamina rise with Sam's determination.
"Yes, sir." She acknowledged in agreeance with a soldier-like formality, punctuated with a firm enthusiasm, feeling a rising resolve build up in her, more than ever, to work to be a better kid and a better Hunter, allowing the encouragement of Sam's words to drive her to be more useful and valuable to them.
Sam felt his lips twitch into upwards slightly into a brief tired smile before falling back into a mild, but serious expression that seemed weighted with exhaustion and stress. Although, warmed by her innocent childlike eagerness, Sam couldn't help, but find a touch of dissatisfaction in it. Her soldier-like response saddened him to an extent as it matured her to a degree that Sam found disheartening. She was a thirteen-year-old little girl to him, not a soldier and couldn't help but wish a better and safter reality for her away from Hunting in the future.
"Alright, now I want you to turn back around and stand there." Sam ordered calm, but assertive manner tipping his head to the side slightly gesturing toward the black floral wall before pushing his palms against his knees and standing up to his full height.
Ellie's jaw gaped open stupidly as a look of dumbfounded shock and chagrin washed over her feminine features.
"Wait, what, why?" Ellie sputtered out in offended bafflement tilting her head up to look at Sam, thinking it was unfairly inappropriate to be put back in front of the wall after the wonderful 'chick flick' moment they just had. They came to an understanding; everything should be square between them. Right?
In Ellie's adolescent thinking, she shouldn't have to stare back at the wall for two main reasons, one because she got spanked already, although it really wasn't 'full-on' licking, it was enough in Ellie's eyes as the man's hand made more than an adequate impression, and two because Ellie was coming to the terrible realization that staring at the wall sucked. Not only was it humiliating and embarrassing as hell for the proud teenager to be put in 'time out', which essentially is exactly what it was, just a modified military-like version, but it was particularly hard for the young girl who lack the patience to stand still for long periods of time, (or short periods of time for that matter), due to her active personality and constant ramping anxiety. Her uncle never made her stand and stare at wall as a punishment. Her uncle whopped her on occasion, of course, assigned her certain taxing and annoying chores or vigorous exercises, but being forced to stare at a wall was a whole new and terrible concept the teenager was not accustom to and Ellie couldn't help, but push back against something so God-awful. Ellie supposed it was better than getting a licking as she was certain she did not want any more of the Hunter's large calloused palm to come crashing down on her backside any more. Ellie came to the grim conclusion that Sam actually spanked hard, just as hard as Dean and her uncle, perhaps even a smidge harder.
Sam felt frustration pinch at his tired nerves at her complaining as he raised his dark brows high on his forehead, a bit amazed at her audacity to argue with him after everything. Sam placed his hands on his lean hips as he towered over her in an authoritative, parental-like, manner. Although restrained and controlled, a touch of disgruntlement hardened at his soften features. While Ellie found it inappropriate, Sam on the other hand, found it entirely fitting and was only too willing to fill her in as to why.
"Because you knocked my laptop to the floor, young lady, and while I'm tempted to take you over my knee for being outrageously disrespectful with that mouth of yours, I'm not going to. Be thankful, staring at the wall is all you're getting for it. Next time you got something to say to me, pissed or not, you better find it in yourself to say it respectfully without knocking my things to the floor or swearing at me, because next time you'll just go right over my knee for it and it'll more than just a few good cracks I can tell you that. Now, am I clear, young lady?" Sam demanded in a sternly controlled manner making Ellie instantly regret complaining as she reminded of how awful she acted only a few minutes making her visibly swallowed her pride.
"Yes, sir." Ellie acknowledged in a contrite manner, her voice taking on timid and yielding tone dipping her head down as she scuffed her white socked toe across the shaggy compressed fibers of the green carpet fidgeting on her feet slightly.
"Alright, now, turn around." Sam ordered, his voice leveling out in a calm manner.
With her eyes casting down to the carpet in chagrin, Ellie nodded before moving to rotate her body back towards the musty smelling wall, her posture slumped in defeat feeling her muscles become weighted down with grave reluctancy. As Ellie was turning towards the wall Sam got a nice view of the top of her navy ballcap which triggered a sudden spike of reminded vexation and, in a snap decision, decided to reach out and clasped ahold of the arched brim of her cap. With swift ease, the man pulled back and removed the concealing garment off the young teenager's head.
Ellie inwardly gasped in surprise as she felt the warm disguising comfort of her hat being plucked off her head abruptly. A rush of cooling air wafted over her head as she instinctively moved to turn back around, her lips parted with a complaining protest on the tip of her tongue. However, as soon as Ellie pivoted half way around to look over her shoulder, catching a glimpse at the man face, that complaint rushed back down into her throat as she inhaled a stream of air.
Without a word, Sam pointed a commanding finger over her head towards the wall, a hard and deeply stern expression chiseled into his features that all but told her to keep her opinions to herself and do as she was told giving off every indication that she should do it quickly. Seeming to get the message loud and clear, Ellie turned her gaze back to the wall prepared to comply. As soon as she turned to obey, with his fingers gripped firmly onto the brim of her hat, Sam bent his torso down slightly and rapped the limp cotton fabric of the crown of her navy cap half-heartedly across her denim pockets. Not only as a final nudge of encouragement to get her little backside to the wall, but as a hinting display of his displeasure at her constantly hiding under the damn thing.
The absentminded rap to the seat of her jeans urged Ellie's step to hasten with an added eagerness. Ellie swiftly shuffled her feet to the wall placing her socked toes to the scuffed off-white baseboard. Ellie dangled her hands by her sides and set her gaze back upon the back floral dusty wallpaper to continue one of the most detested punishments of her entire life. Ellie hated to admit it, but it was right up there with ass beatings.
While Ellie was reacquainting herself with the dusty wall, Sam treaded his socked feet along the shaggy carpet towards the two queen beds. Never pausing his strides, Sam idly tossed the disguising garment onto Ellie's claimed bed feeling a slight edgy bitterness bite at his tired nerves. He was becoming increasingly annoyed with that hat of her's as it has become a continual means for her to conceal things from him. Keeping her face hidden from his eyes as a deceitful method of shielding her struggles, secrets, emotions and lies was not only flat-out dishonest and unacceptable in Sam's eyes, but it was also damaging as he could not take care of her properly if he was constantly left ignorant to her struggles.
TBC
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