Deception and Desperation – Part 3
A continuation of the pervious chapter. Enjoy!
Sam jerked his attention towards his older brother feeling a slight apprehensive heat blossom against the dead center of his broad chest. Although his brother's objection was expected, it still didn't make it any less frustratingly discouraging, if not a little daunting, to hear the fierce rigidness in his brother's tone that was border-lining on outraged.
"We're not leaving her on her own." Dean avowed with such intense immovable authority, Ellie might have guessed his word was next to the almighty's by the sheer adamancy of his fervid tone, which effectively crushed Ellie's hope into pile of dust so depressingly fast it was shocking. A sinking sensation engulfed her burdened heart feeling like it was being tugged down into her gut as all the times she had given them to distrust her came to bite her in the ass at this moment.
Dean's brows creased down into a grave frown as he glared up at his brother in a challenging and ardently reproachful manner, the lines within his heated expression hardening as his sharp jawline became more pronounced and dangerously rigid. Despite the paleness that washed out against his masculine features and the dark circles that encapsuled under the man's eyes, it, still, didn't take away from the daunting intensity of his manner, in fact, it only seemed to enhance it.
"Dean, she's sick and needs the rest." Sam defended in a commendably poised, but forcefully adamant tone that held a firm edge of stubborn push back of his own which only seemed to match his older brother's intensity. Granted, it was in a considerably more calm and subtle manner, but the assertive strength of his words were just as firm as his older brother's.
"She might still need to throw up." Sam added moving his arm off his hip as he gestured over to the lying frame of the 'sick' little girl, hoping to bring out an ounce of empathy from his brother's conscience towards young teenager. However, it seemed Dean was not obliged to give it.
"So, get her a bucket." Dean offered unsympathetically without missing a beat, finding no tolerance in his heart on the taboo subject as his ridged mind stayed firmly rooted in his position to keep her ass within their sights at all times.
Apparently, thinking Sam was on the same page as him on this issue was a grave mistake as it seemed they weren't even on the same freaking planet. In Dean's hard thinking, sick or not, it shouldn't be up for debate or even be brought up, let alone considered, and having his brother make the drastic decision out of the blue, not only without consulting him first, but like his word was, suddenly, the 'be all, end all' now that he was about to keel over any day now. And if Dean was being honest with himself, that stung his pride far more than he cared to admit feeling downright disrespected and dismissed like he was no longer significant enough to be consulted first. He wasn't dead yet and was determined to assert his right to make decisions regarding the teenager's safety and well-being, a task he took immensely serious on damn personal level as his fondness and care for the young girl was becoming freakishly and frighteningly intense to the point where it was becoming apparent and simply unavoidable. And, now, that he fully believed his brother was making the wrong call, it only seemed to make his grip tighten even further as the horrifying prospect of him dying brought him back to the horrifying reality that he was not going to be around to personally see to it that she was safe and that, for one reason or another, was utterly terrifying to the protective man.
Ellie's dark eyebrows creased inward as her jaw visibly dropped open widely in flabbergasted offense at Dean's cold indifference towards her being 'sick'. Yet, no matter how much she wanted to be offended by the man's insensitivity, she knew she was in no position to complain or even feel wronged considering she had been spouting nothing, but bullshit this entire time.
Sam's green eyes widened briefly flashing with frustrated censure at his brother's complete lack of sympathy, feeling an instinctive defensiveness rise within him towards Ellie which, again, only seemed to aid in her favor. Sam's jawline set in a rigid line as he pursed his lips together firmly giving, what Dean had, immaturely, dubbed in his younger years, his brother's quintessential bitchface demonstrating just how shitty he thought his coldness was toward the little girl who saved his life.
Realizing rather quickly that was probably not the kindest of things to say regarding the sick teenager, the indents in Dean's hard expression yielded slightly feeling a slight prick of guilt pierce his tough skin, which was a telling and true testament to his growing genuine care for the kid. However, it would seem that was all his conscience could muster up on the issue.
Dean was aware his nerves were already riled from the gnawing, incessant, pain he was in and the despairing knowledge he was going to bite the dust within a couple of weeks was, undoubtably, affecting his touchy temper. However, that did not mean he was going to agree to something as outrageous as leaving the reckless teenager on her own. The man did not trust the kid yet, not by a long shot, and feeling uncomfortable leaving her on her own was a grave and vast understatement. No matter how much Ellie wished it, Dean was not bound to forget she stole his precious Impala and run away from them any time soon. That little adventure of her's still haunted the man's edgy nerves and had them reeling in aggravating apprehension every time he even thought about it. His care for the girl and her safety was his priority, not her comfort, and the man was not about to let that go just because she had a stomach ache and it was, suddenly, convenient to do so.
"We're not leaving her on her own." Dean declared once again, but in a considerably more composed tone, his groggy voice deepening even further as he actively and bitterly fought against the grinding pain that seemed to be eating away at his muscles and biting at his nerve-endings with an annoying persistence. The pain alone was having the man fighting to keep his sanity without the additional stress of his brother willing to compromise Ellie's safety, all because the kid had a stomach ache.
"We'll wait a couple of hours until she feels better, then we'll go." Dean asserted with an aggravating bite to his words, coming up with a compromise that didn't end with them leaving her in the motel room. Although, Dean tried to keep the strain out of his voice as he gritted his teeth in stubborn resistance, he did not fully succeed and the addition of a pained grimace that began to crease within the man's expression had Sam's edgy frustration rising to newfound heights as his love and care for his brother pulsed achingly within his heart.
"We don't have a couple of hours, Dean." Sam informed with a bit more force than he intended as he pulled his hands off his hips, his riled voice elevating with a tense urgency as elements within his tone began to take on a desperate plea. "You need some kind of painkillers before four and we are not missing out on seeing the specialist." Sam persisted unwaveringly bending his torso forward a bit in a confidant and impassioned manner. Although he still kept a poised dignity and level of commendable maturity in his tone, his words were stubbornly adamant, assertive, and intense in his deliverance, not showing one ounce of flexibility in his stance.
Clincs in the United States were not known for their impeccable speed to say the least and seeing a doctor without an appointment could take hours and Sam wasn't about to waste those precious hours in the motel room while his brother suffered needlessly when they could be actively doing something about it. And more importantly, they needed to do this all before Reverand Le Grange's service that started at four as that was Dean's opportunity to possibly be 'saved' from what Josuah told him about the miracles that were happening and he'd be damned if they missed that opportunity just because his brother's stubborn ass lacked the faith. If Dean wanted to play the stubborn card on this one, Sam was more than prepared to outmatch him in every way, shape, or form as he truly believed the man's life depended on it.
It was at this point, a deep and tenacious resolve set against Sam's tense skin rooting him deep within his stance on the issue believing wholeheartedly that his decision was best for everyone. There was no mistaking that it was far from ideal, but it was the hand they were dealt and the admirable man was prepared to take it on the chin and just do the best he could with what he had. This was his brother's life and, no matter what, they were going to get that medicine and they were going to that service, even if he had to drag his cynical ass every step of the way. He was going to make it happen, one way or another, and thanks to the inexorable trait he inherited from his old man, Sam was a forced to be reckoned with and in Dean's vulnerable state at present, the man really didn't have a chance in hell against Sam's grit.
Not deviating his hard eyes from Sam for a moment, Dean inhaled a short rush of air before huffing it out through his nose in an exasperated sigh. No matter how much Dean wanted to argue, there was no denying he was in a lot of pain and relief from it sounded hardily tempting. He wanted to suggest going by himself, but the pain and the weakened state he was in, even he knew, he wouldn't even make it out the door to the freaking parking lot without falling on his face.
"Ellie needs rest and you need the drugs." Sam laid out his words bluntly in a confident and insistent manner leveling his tone out evenly and calmly giving an air of compelling rationality which was one of Sam Winchester's many talents when it came to the art of persuasion.
"We're just going to have to trust her for an hour or two." Sam assured decisively, a poised and confident air set about his outwardly calm demeanor, despite rising storm of intense emotions that he was keeping locked deeply within his chest.
Despite the heavy resistance of hesitancy and discomfort it gave him to leave Ellie on her own, Sam was willing to give her an element of trust not only because he, ultimately, wanted to trust her, but because he had to trust her if he wanted to do right by his brother and Ellie equally. His determination to get the best of both worlds is what, ultimately, was winning in Ellie's favor and the lucky girl didn't even have to say a word in defense of it all as Sam was, unwittingly, going to bat for her like Babe Ruth himself.
Dean's eyebrows dipped into an intense glower, his hard green eyes sparking with fiery dispute as he felt a spike of fierce aggravation shoot up his hunched spine.
"Trust her? Are you freaking kidding me? Did you forget she took off on us and stole my freaking car?" Dean's sharp voice was elevated with a biting and open bitterness as he relayed Ellie's past transgression with not the fondness of memories.
While Sam was prepared to trust her, Dean on the hand, was far from willing. He had trouble sending her to the bathroom at rest stops on her own, let alone leave her in a motel room for a questionable number of hours. Not to mention the little fact that demons were hunting Caleb, which he was still left frustratingly ignorant on the specifics, and the dreadful fear of not knowing a goddamn thing skyrocketed Dean's anxious nerves to the point of paratonia and intense suspicion. And if that wasn't enough to test the man's sanity, his dad's alarming words of 'she's in more danger than you realize' and 'they may start looking to Elena for answers' left the man, understandably, fearful of leaving Ellie anywhere unsupervised. Despite being confined to a secure motel room; it didn't give the man an ounce of comforting reassurance without her being in his direct line of sight.
"There is no way in hell we're leaving her on her own." Dean asserted adamantly leveling out his voice in a composed, but an intensely immovable tone, his guttural vocals vibrating deeply within his throat as he kept his hard steady gaze upon his brother fighting to keep the straining pain off his face as best he could.
"She can sleep in the freaking Impala and we'll give her a trash can." Dean's tight grumpy voice calmly proclaimed as his hardened face muscles twitched and twinged in repressed distress.
Unable to ignore the persistent pain any longer, Dean shifted his focus downward as he dipped his head low instinctively concealing his struggle from his younger brother. With his teeth clenched tightly together and his stiff face muscles scrunched into a strained wince, the enduring Hunter pressed his forearm into the flexed muscles of his thigh leaning the brunt of his weight forward as he hunched his posture further, forcing himself to swallow the groan of pain that was threatening travel up his throat.
Sam's lips thinned into a firm line of weighted concern as he witnessed every stiff movement of his brother's suffering, triggering a heated and care-driven frustration that sparked and sputtered within his chest as all his heavy emotions he was working so hard to suppress rose to the surface of skin brought out by guilt, fear, and just pure mental and physical exhaustion.
"She's a thirteen-year-old little girl, Dean, who happened to save your life." Sam reminded, his tense ardent voice hardening with an admonishing frankness as he attempted to penetrate Dean's stubborn will to be stone cold hard ass.
"She is so stressed out to the point where it's making her physically sick and you can't find it in yourself to give her even a shred of understanding?" Sam reproached in an impassioned manner in Ellie's defense. Although there was still a level of dignified self-control in his demeanor, he punctuated his words with a fervent intensity as he bluntly relayed the supposed and logical 'reality' of Ellie's illness.
Dean pressed his forearm heavily against his tense thigh feeling his weakened arm muscles tremor a bit in protest as he attempted to straightened his slumped posture a bit and tilted his head up to look at his brother. An unexpected and rather powerful blow of realization knocked against his chest as his assumption that she just had a stomach bug of some kind was crushed under Sam's intensely compelling words. It was then, a rising guilt and concern was beginning to replace his immovable resolve feeling his rooted stance yield ever so slightly as it never even occurred to him that she could be sick from the enormous stress of it all. However, the more he pondered it, the more it made sense to his rational mind and there was a part of him that was kicking himself for not coming to that obviously logical conclusion himself. Ellie was a forced to be reckoned with and was resilient in many ways, but even he couldn't deny the traumatizing experience of finding him in that basement out cold and the knowledge of him dying could, undoubtably, take a serious toll on her small young body.
Dealing with disturbing realities involving the supernatural practically his whole life, hardened and blinded Dean to the harsh damaging effects it could have one's physical and mental wellbeing, especially, in a kid as young as Ellie. And the little fact, that his brother so bluntly pointed out, that he probably wouldn't be breathing right now if it wasn't for the little teenager, made his heart submit to a touch of remorse for being so brusquely insensitive.
Yet, his hardness towards her was not the result of him being ungrateful and dismissive of Ellie's noble actions that night, in fact, it was just the opposite as he would never forget just how much he owed that little girl. Her actions only seemed to intensify his care, bond, and affection for the young kid to an even deeper and more evident degree. It was an odd and unexplainable feeling as he never really experienced this type of growing connection before, but it was intensely powerful nonetheless and unavoidable. It baffled Dean's comprehension, but the only thing he could compare it to was the bond he experienced with his brother when he was a teenager, but significantly more parental and instinctively overprotective. Whether that was due to the significant age difference or the fact that Ellie was a little girl, he didn't know. All that he knew was he was determined to see his responsibility for her till his last breath. Not because he was such a standup guy or knight in shining armor as he believed he was as far from that as they come. It just for the simple reason that he cared and that feeling was undoubtably powerful. However, no matter how much he his gut instincts were against leaving her alone, Sam's persuasive words were planting elements of doubts that he was doing 'right' by her. Did his discomfort of leaving her out of his sight for an hour or two really trump her obvious need to sleep and recover? Was his excessive paranoia making him unreasonable?
Despite his face muscles still hardened in a rigid frown, Sam caught a promising glint of give and understanding beginning to soften in Dean's eyes, giving him hope that he was at least getting through to him in some way.
"That little girl went through something traumatic. She is hurting right now and I'm not going to drag her ass back out in the cold raining weather to make it worse. She's a child, Dean, not some grown man, and I'm not going to deprive her of her basic needs, just because she made a mistake in the past, especially, now, since we're in a position where we can allow her to recuperate." Sam's powerfully compelling words were expressed in ardent defense of Ellie with a personal sincere and tender care that was both touching and frustratingly sweet forcing Ellie to feel an unexpected warmth fill her chest in contrast to the hardy dose of guilt pulsing through her veins making her heart sink even further in self-reproach. Despite it all being in favor of her goal, it was all under the false pretenses she fabricated and it was awfully detrimental to her conscience making Ellie want to reach up and cover her face in wretched shame.
God, I'm such a horrible kid.
"Unlike the Impala we can take the necessary precautions to secure the room and run her through the drills of lockdown just like dad did when we were kids. She'll be safe here." Sam assured with a calm and compelling confidence attempting to bring Dean to the logical comfort of her being in a secure place and reassure him that it was not only reasonable to keep her in the motel room, but the right thing to do. Sam was utterly convinced Ellie needed the rest and his care for the young girl, ultimately, blinded him to any and all other possibilities.
Feeling his chest tighten in awaited and hopeful anticipation, Sam's dignified features began to twitch a touch in subtle signs of his growing distress as his emotions began to rise to the surface of his expression. Although, almost unnoticeable to a stranger, Dean, was well attuned to his younger brother's mannerisms and Sam's stiffed brow, elusive twitches, the shifting and swaying of his tense body all, but told Dean his brother was trying desperately to keep it together.
For the first time Dean's hard face muscles soften into a troubled frown, the lines against his pensive brow indented in conflicting concern, suddenly, feeling the position he so adamantly stood on begin to give against his brother's rational persuasion and growing distress.
"Sam…" Dean began, his deep vocals leveling out into a calm and gentle manner, ready to reiterate his lack of trust and severe discomfort in leaving her on her own, but Sam, feeling a spike of compelling urgency, cut him off.
"Dean, you are dying and I'm just trying to do the best I can for you and Ellie. So, please…please just… don't, don't fight me on this." Sam's strained voice shook slightly feeling his emotions began to bleed to the surface of his skin as he fought with troubling difficulty to keep his emotions in check, as he practically begged his older brother to trust him and allow him the opportunity to lessen his suffering and Ellie's. Although, Sam ultimately kept a commendable and masculine dignity about him, it was no secret the compassionate and sincere man was hurting and was just trying to do what he believed was best for those he cared about and Dean being the observant big brother recognized it.
His green eyes glinted imploringly at his older brother as his face was entangled with compelling need for understanding making Dean's heart grow heavy in his chest as his protective instincts, that were deeply instilled in him at a young age, to spare his brother pain seemed to surmount his will just enough for him to give into Sam's decision, despite the grave and panic-inducing unease it gave him. In short, Dean folded like a cheap suit against his brother's 'puppy dog' eyes, allowing all of Sam's logical discerning to pernitrate his hard ass mentality and finally submit to the relentless biting pain he was in. However, that did not mean Dean was, suddenly, all happy go lucky and in favor of the idea of leaving Ellie behind, in fact, it disturbed him, right down to his bones. However, now that he was faced with the 'facts', like Sam, Dean recognized Ellie's need to recover and under these circumstances he was willing to put faith in Sam's judgement.
"Fine, Sammy, one hour, one freaking hour and that's it." Dean grumpily agreed under the severe discomfort as he fought against his instincts that were pulling at his muscles with fierce resistance.
Although, he knew they could 'demon proof' the room, ensuring there was no way a demon entity could enter the confines of the room under their precaution, it still unnerved him for her to be out of their sight regardless. And while Ellie had shown some promise in obeying orders as of late, it didn't change the fact that Dean was fully aware Ellie was a scared and reckless kid who had a tendency to make rash decisions in moments of adolescent impulse. Not to mention, the addition of the frustrating and alarming teenage arrogance she held in thinking her thirteen-year-old-self knew better than them which, in all honesty, is what scared the ever-loving shit out of Dean the most. Despite believing under false pretenses that there was no reason for her to disobey them and leave the room, not while she was feeling so poorly anyway, his ever-strong paranoia still gave him little reassurance. But for his brother's sake and little Ellie's, Dean was reluctantly willing bite the bullet and suck it up because right now that is what he had to do for all three of their sakes. And no matter how much his instincts fought against the idea, there was a small part of Dean that also wanted to trust Ellie and no doubt give her the opportunity to properly recover as it was no easy thing watching her and Sam suffer, especially at his expense. Like Sam, Dean allowed his guilt to sway him in favor of leaving Ellie in the room.
It was nothing sort of a miracle in Ellie's eyes as she could scarcely believe what she was hearing making her misguidedly and self-servingly believe it was all simply meant to be. Her brain had to do double take, as she lay there in stunned silence absorbing all that she had heard from the two brothers. While, under a different set of circumstances, Ellie might have wanted to bask in abundance of luck she was receiving as she swore, she had received more luck in these past two minutes than she had received in the past two years combined. However, despite the 'good' fortune, Ellie couldn't find pleasure in it or even really celebrate in her success as it was not a joyous occasion to deceive the two Hunters she cared about. In fact, there was a gutting shame in it leaving her with a sickening feeling towards herself. The only thing she could feel good about was the smidge of promising hope in getting the opportunity to save him and Ellie held onto hope with all her heart. She needed it, like she needed air.
"Elena Anne." Dean's gravelly voice reverberated sternly against his chest making Ellie's muscles stiffen as an anxious spark zapped at her nerves making them dance wildly in her gut like a rustling swarm of butterflies. Dean had never called her by her first and middle name before and it was somewhat daunting as he called to her like she was in some military-like roll call.
An illogical, but very powerful apprehensive heat began to swelled harshly in the center of her petite chest as her muscle fibers gripped and tense against her skin coming to the petrifying conclusion that perhaps, suddenly, he had discovered her deception somehow. It was foolish as there was no indication or evidence that would suggest he knew anything, but Ellie's anxious mind was so wrapped up in guilty agitation that she couldn't help, but fear the worst.
"Sir?" Ellie acknowledged automatically, an elevated respect in her surprisingly level tone. How she managed to keep the telling squeak of terror out of her voice, she will never know. Despite Dean's insinuated command, Ellie did not move a muscle to stand up, coming to the hopeful and excessively naive conclusion that whatever he had to say, he could say to her back. Why she thought she could possibly get away with that, was beyond her teenage comprehension.
"Front and center, kiddo. I wanna talk to you." Everything in Dean's strained and somewhat impatient tone relayed an element of seriousness and urgency giving off every indication she should move her ass and move it quickly.
Apprehension sparked and sputtered within her chest violently as she would give anything not to face him in this moment, not just because it was dreadfully uncomfortable to stand in front of the intimidating Hunter who she was lying to, but because she was not entirely confident her face would not give her away somehow. And since she didn't have the comfort of her concealing ballcap to fall back on, thanks to her outrageous stupidity in flinging it to the floor, it made the daunting task, all the more unnerving. But as it stands, Ellie didn't have a choice, as she was positive she couldn't convince the man to talk to her back, not unless she want to piss the grumpy man off or arouse unwanted suspicion. So, with her chest constricted in a tight knot and her heart practically clogged up in her throat, Ellie forced her reluctant limbs to move out of their frozen-like state. Sluggishly, Ellie pressed her palms against the top of the stiff mattress springs as she sat herself up before rotating her legs around until she was seated on the edge of the bed. Despite her jittery nerves ramping up a frazzled energy within her, Ellie calculatingly forced her movements to remain slow and somewhat weak continuing to play the part of a sick girl. However, little did Ellie know, it was the natural awkwardness triggered by the hindering guilt that was showing in her body language which, unwittingly, is what preformed in her favor.
Purposefully avoiding eye contact with the two men, Ellie pressed her palms into the firm mattress on either side of her slim frame, feeling the scratchy nylon fibers of the thin faded yellow comforter chafe prickingly against the palms of her hands, as she lifted her bottom off the bed and planted her boots on the dense fibers of the dark grey carpet.
Keeping her manner somewhat aloof and, with her expression wilted in dreary frown, Ellie treaded her boots steadily down the length of the center walkway between the two queen beds before rounding the foot of the bed where Dean sat. Not having any desire to be closer than she had to be, Ellie settled her feet to the side of Dean's brown lace-up boot, just at the rounded corner of the stiff mattress. However, apparently, that wasn't satisfactory to the direct man as he straightened his arm and pointed a commanding finger to space in front of him. It seemed when he said 'front and center', he meant that literally. Sam took a large backstep giving Ellie the ample space she required to move directly in front of Dean like he instructed which wasn't altogether appreciated by the fretful girl.
With an inward whiny moan of reluctance, which she wisely kept to herself, Ellie shuffled a few sidesteps into the vacant space directly front of the man like he ordered. Despite attempting to act calm and unbothered, Ellie kept her gaze directed downward finding herself unable to find the courage look at the man as she shifted and squirmed on the soles of her boots, awkwardly fidgeting like toddler who had ants in her pants. Suddenly finding the skin around her nails to be of prime interest, Ellie brought her hands up by her chest and began to inspect and picked at the fraying skin in a fidgety and agitated manner.
"Look at me, young lady." Dean's deep steady vocals commanded making Ellie, automatically, lift her gaze from her fidgeting fingers to the Hunter's face, which she noted with dismay, looked like hell. Ellie felt her face muscles twitch into a brief wince while the creases on her forehead crinkled in caring concern as an aching sensation began to constrict around her young heart. Despite having the horrid knowledge of him only having a few weeks to a month to live, it didn't make witnessing him suffer and deteriorate one ounce more bearable. And her enormous deception to the dying man, now, it would seem directly to his face, made her feel like the absolute worst kid on the planet. Yet, despite that, witnessing his pale and strained features did not hinder her determination one bit, in fact, it only seemed to heightened it, lighting a fire of urgency under her to stick with her plan and do what she had to do, no matter how shitty she felt about it. It was all for him and she was prepared to fight till the man's last breath.
"You are not to leave this motel room for any reason. You understand me?" Dean began in a deeply stern tone that could only be described as intensely adamant leaving not one millimeter of space for debate, question, or even opinion. The seriousness of his manner gave off every indication that his word was the law and her one and only job was to obey. His stern demeanor was daunting to say the least making Ellie's adolescent nerves tingle wildly throughout her whole body with the horrible anxiety-inducing knowledge that she was going to disobey that direct order the second they walked out that door.
"If someone should knock on the door. You don't answer it. If the room phone rings. You don't pick up. We'll leave a shotgun for you in the case of an emergency. If anything should happen, you shoot first, ask question later. Got it?" Dean relayed his rigid instructions with the same direct firmness his dad had done for them so many times before fixing Ellie with a weighty and rather intense expression as he bore his green eyes into her with such fixation that Ellie couldn't help, but tilted her head down and look up at him meekly from under her long lashes.
"Yes, sir." Ellie affirmed in a respectful and clear tone, but in noticeably subdued and unsuspectingly bashful manner. By the strength of his tone and the intensity of his demeanor, that was the one and only acceptable response to that question.
Feeling a pressing desire to gain relief from the Hunter's keen green eyes that seemed to be staring right through her, Ellie flicked her gaze downward to get a fleeting glimpse of Dean's brown lace-up boots. However, it would seem Dean had other ideas as pressed his palm shakily against his flexed thigh for support before reaching out a curved finger and tapping the underside of her rounded chin lightly forcing her gaze back to his face. Once he captured her complete attention and locked his eyes onto her's, Dean tilted his cleft chin down ever-so slightly as he leveled an intensely stern gaze on her, his masculine features chiseled with a hard stony-like rigidness that made Ellie visibly swallow the obtrusive knot of saliva that gathering in the back of her throat.
"You disobey me and step a foot outside this motel room for any reason while we're gone. Dying or not, your ass is going meet my belt and, I'll tell you this right now, kid, I have no intention in being nice about anymore." Dean informed with a dauntingly direct bluntness that compelled Ellie to believe every word as his guttural vocals cut straight into the girl's chest.
Ellie's russet brown eyes widened and flashed in brief trepidation as her red tinted lips part a touch sucking in a short stream of air that sat wedged in the back of her throat like an obstructive knot. It felt like she had been knocked in the center of her chest as a severely hardy dose of a familiar childlike apprehension began to spread and bleed at the point of contact sending a prickling sensation against her nerves making them tingle wildly in alarm. It had been a good long while since she had received a licking with a belt and her memories of it were dreadful unpleasant to say the least.
Although Dean was well aware he couldn't manage to dish out an ass whopping right now without any pain meds or really put any swing behind the leather to give an adequate impression in his weakened state, but could pass the duty off to Sam's hands if it came to it and, for all their sakes, it better damn well never come it.
Despite there being a part of Dean wanting to fight against the hard-ass survival mentality of their dad's teachings, as there was a natural and masculine desire to be comforting and soft towards thirteen-year-old little girls, Dean knew that pretty, sugarcoated, notion was not going to do her any favors and was simply a luxury for the safe and sheltered. Ellie was no ordinary girl, she was a Hunter's kid, in a Hunter's world and, no matter how shitty or unfair it seemed, this was the life she was born into and it was devastatingly dangerous where the stakes were so enormously high that one wrong stupid decision could end her life so incredibly fast it was tragically overwhelming for anyone's sanity. Sticking with his dad's teachings may not be pretty on the outside or win him any points in popularity, but one thing was for damn sure, it worked and kept them alive and breathing which he fully intended to do for Ellie.
The man wasn't going to mince words, beat around the bush, or dulcify the seriousness of disobeying him anymore and he had no intention of easing her into the reality of what happens if she defies him and puts herself at needless risk. She had already run off on them once before and that was one too many times for Dean's tolerance to bear. Despite not enjoying the idea of taking off his belt one bit, as it would, in the most simplest terms, majorly suck for all parties involved, if she was reckless enough or had the damn gall to defy him on such a drastic level as this, she was not going to receive any leniency from him and Dean wanted impulsive girl to know that. Of course, he intended to be fair and be responsibly mindful of her tolerance and endurance, but he was in no way going to be soft about it. In Dean's mind it was a serious transgression to earn the privilege and when and if it was earned, he wasn't going to pacify it or lessen it to a degree of being ineffective or something to blow off as nothing more than a measly punishment to shrug off at the end. This was survival and he was determined for her to start taking him seriously and showing respect for the sanctity of her young life. However, if her personal safety wasn't enough motivation to keep her ass in the motel, he just gave her another compelling reason and if she was smart would heed to it.
Dean didn't know if Caleb even saw fit to take off his belt a time or two, but frankly, Dean did not care as it did not make one bit of difference to him if Ellie had or had not experienced a spanking with a belt before. She was under his care now and under his protection and according to Dean's way of thinking, Ellie was his kid. Not in the sense that she was his blood, kin, or relation in anyway, but in the sense of her becoming of great value to him, slowly and unknowingly, accepting her into a part of his heart he reserved for family. Dean didn't rightly or consciously understand these odd, yet, natural feelings of attachment and connection with the young teenager, but that didn't change the fact that they were there nonetheless and it felt right and fitting to have her with them.
Ellie's young features twitched into a grimacing pout of recalled disgust feeling a disheartened moan threatening to travel up her throat. Ellie contemplated how the hell anyone could be 'nice' while whopping your backside with a belt. When was he ever 'nice' while giving her a licking? Yet, Ellie was no dummy and knew in her heart of hearts that she had dodged some major bullets with the Winchester when it came to down to it. The Hunters were more than fair and, frankly, far more merciful than her uncle would ever have been. And Ellie being the intelligent girl that she was, knew very well 'not nice' signified he was not planning on going easy on her, meaning he was going to a 'hard ass' about it which sucked to the high haven's considering how awful belt licks ached. Depending on how hard the man swung and how many licks he was obliged to give her, 'not nice' could turn into 'holy hell' unbelievably quick. And since she had never experienced a belt whopping from the man before she didn't exactly know how 'not nice' he could be which sent a childlike unnerving shiver down her spine.
"You know how dangerous it is for you to be out on your own. You stay here where you're safe." Dean asserted emphasizing each word with a sharp firmness signifying the gravity of his direct order which, despite her devious intention to disobey, she got loud and clear.
"Yes, sir." Ellie affirmed falsely in hushed voice as she dipped her head down in shame knowing with disheartening remorse that had just directly lied to his face and was decisively going to betray his trust.
Dean's hardened face muscles soften a touch as he blinked his keen eyes at the top of her cranium. Dean huffed out a cleansing sigh through his nostrils feeling a pinch of pity nip at his tough skin interpreting her uncharacteristically humble and mild manner as her simply feeling poor. And while he did not regret his forceful words, he did hold sympathy for perhaps adding to her overstressed mind. There was a battling confliction within him thinking perhaps he was being overly critical and stern and his touchy temper at present was heightening his paranoia to an unfairly excessive degree. Her misleading meek demeanor, unknowingly, gave him a false sense of reassurance knowing her sickness would confine her to a bed, but unfortunately, the man couldn't have been more wrong.
"Alright, go on and get some sleep, kiddo. We'll be back in an hour." Dean assured as he reached out, without thinking, and idly patted the side of her thigh twice in a signaling gesture of affectionate encouragement. A subtle demonstration of his growing comfort to display small elements of parental-like affection towards the teen. They were subtle and not really significant enough to be obvious or noticed, but they were there and it, unknowingly, gave the teenager a subconscious sense of becoming valued.
Keeping her head low and her eyes cast downward, unable to make eye contact with the man she was going to deliberately disobey, Ellie nodded her understanding once in respectful acknowledgment before turning away and trudging down the center walkway between the two queen beds. Ellie settled herself onto the dulled yellow comforter in the same fetal-like position as before, keeping her body turned away from the two men she was deceiving feel the horrid shame of it all weigh her body down.
0000
After Sam laid the salt lines and took the cautious steps to secure the room, the Winchesters men departed leaving the guilt-ridden Colt stewing in conflicting regret.
Once Ellie heard the motel door close against it frame, she waited a few long cautious seconds before pressing her palms against the prickly nylon fabric of the thin yellow comforter slowly pushing herself into a sitting position on her haunches. Feeling a heaviness weigh against her body, Ellie swung her legs around, scooting and shifting her backside against the stiff springs of the mattress until she was seated on the edge of the bed facing the dingy motel room door.
With her young features wilted in troubled and regretful frown, Ellie huffed out an airy sigh through her nose before dipping her head low to look at her denim covered thighs feeling a deep disappointment and shame pressed down on her heart with a considerable weight.
She was a lair, there was no getting around it. A deceptive, manipulative, awful, awful lair and she was heartily ashamed of it. She cared about these men and to put on such an extreme and manipulate performance like that seemed to be crossing a damaging line somehow. Going so far as to make herself throw up, playing off their kindness, and using their care for her against them as a deceptive ruse to get the opportunity to get away seemed nothing less than deliberate betrayal.
Never had she stoop so low before with her deception. There was always a valid purpose and noble intent in her lying as a Hunter's kid. Her conscience was aware it was wrong, but it was ingrained in her that it necessary to save people and spare them from the evil out there. And keeping her personal secrets from Sam and Dean was one thing, but this time it seemed different as she purposefully and calculatingly manipulated them directly to their faces, comprehensively aware that everything she was doing was wrong in a way. It felt like the equivalate to stabbing them in the back which, essentially, is what it was, no matter how valid her reason for doing it.
Despite this all being in the name of saving the man's life, Ellie couldn't help, but feel utterly and rightfully remorseful, feeling a part of her young heart break because of it, hurting her to a damaging degree. Ellie felt a rawness scratch at the lining of her throat making her swallow hard feeling the familiar prickling sensation of moisture began to build around her inner sockets of her russet eyes as tears blurred her vision. As a water mucus began to build up in her nostrils, Ellie sniffled and wiped the back of her hand across one eye and then the other in confounded frustration.
Come on, Ellie, get a freaking grip.
She didn't have time to wallow in guilt and contemplate just how shitty a kid she was, she had to get her ass moving if she was to accomplish anything. She got this one rare opportunity to get away and she's be damned if she was going to waste it. Sitting on her ass and crying like some baby sure as hell wasn't going to do the dying man any favors and, frankly, wasn't going to do her any good either. She was determined to ensure that something 'good' came out of her deception and there was a selfish pursuit in obtaining that, which now accompanied her determination to save Dean.
Actively pushing aside her guilty grievances and with her mind intensely focused on her goal, Ellie pulled back the cuff of her slate brown jacket revealing her black digital wrist watch underneath. The digital time read –11:12AM. According to Dean's declaration of 'one damn hour', she didn't have a whole lot of time. Feeling an urgency ramp up strongly against her guilty reluctance, Ellie forced her heavy limbs to move lifting her backside off the stiff springs of the old mattress. Ellie snatched her blue Nokia cellphone off the nightstand where Sam had conveniently placed it and shoved it into her slate brown jacket pocket before striding at a hasty pace towards her backpack and navy ballcap the sat on the green floral kitchen chair where Sam had neatly put it.
Ellie pulled the high-back kitchen chair away from the table before snatching the brim of her ballcap off the top of her backpack and situating it back on her head where it belonged. An odd feeling of relief and false sense of concealment in having her face vailed back in shadow, had Ellie charged up with encouragement as jittery adrenaline began to pumped through her veins.
With quick and determined haste, Ellie snatched one of the black straps of her backpack before flinging it over her slender shoulder feeling the familiar weight of her personal supplies and belongings pull down onto her shoulder. While marching over to the duffle bags on the adjacent bed at a hurried pace, Ellie threaded her other arm through the second strap feeling it shift up against her stiff back muscles that were flexed in a tense posture. Once she made it to the bed, Ellie grabbed the handles of the army green duffle bag that Sam and Dean used to carry their tools and weapons dragging it away from the other bags towards the head of the bed feeling the heavy weight of the Hunter's gear bag strain her slender arm muscles.
Her adrenaline continued pumped her blood through her veins with aiding vigor as Ellie, with shaky fingers, quickly worked to unzipped the miliary grade duffle bag. Ellie dug and shuffled through the contents until she found what she was looking for, the Winchester's medium sided black handled bolt cutter, which was one of the many the basic tools they always carried around in their gear bag. Despite having a lockpick in her possession and the specific knowledge and skill on how to use it, the smart little girl was astutely aware she was severely crunched for time and needed to make every precious second count. And if she had to resort to bolt cutters to get into Pastor Jim's old church, so be it. Having a Hunter's mentality and a military-like teaching ingrained in her at young age, Ellie knew the importance of being prepared and properly equipped for the job as it could be the difference between success or failure, or more dauntingly, in the Hunting world, life or death.
With the black handled bolt cutters clasped firmly in her grip, Ellie unthreaded her arm through one of her straps flinging her backpack around to the side of her slender torso before unzipping it and shoving the bolt cutter in the main compartment. Ellie allowed a relieving puff of air to expel from her part lips thanking her lucky stars that the balky tool just fit. After Ellie zipped her bag shut and adjusted her backpack back on her shoulders, she began to dig through Dean's personal duffle bag feeling a very fitting ping of additional anxious fear agitate her already frazzled nerves knowing the man would not be too pleased with her going through his belongings. Hell, if the man knew even one shed of what she was planning to do, Ellie was certain, the man would go ballistic on her ass and that's putting it nicely. She was already in it deep and the little transgression of going through the man's bag without his expressed permission seemed inconsequential next to her disobeying a direct order and leaving the secure motel room to retrieve or, in more appropriately, seal a Grimoire.
Buried at the bottom of the bag under the man's military rolled t-shirts and button-ups Ellie found her silver switch blade tucked in the far back corner. Careful not to disturb the contents of the man's belongings and leave the bag as she found it, Ellie snagged her cherished weapon. There was this odd and uncommon connection she had with her blade, that the average civilian kid would find outrageously strange and couldn't even begin to comprehended the comfort and reassurance it gave her. It was the first blade she had ever practiced with and it had protected her many times throughout her short life. It was the one thing, along with her navy ball cap, that was explicitly her's. While Sam and Dean thought she didn't need it as they were her source of protection, on the little escapade she planned, they were not going to be there and Ellie felt more much more confident if she was armed with her weapon giving her the fabricated encouragement she needed.
Ellie held the sheathed silver switch blade in front of her for a moment feeling a small smile tugging at the corners of her mouth as her lingering eyes gazed pleasingly at knife, the shiny metal glinting dully within the dim and gloomy grey light of the far window. After a fleeting moment, Ellie deliberately slipped the closed blade into the right side pocket of her slate brown jacket.
After placing the bags exactly how she found them, even strategically placing the straps how they laid before, with long purposeful strides Ellie marched through the entry arched doorway reaching her arm out to the tarnished chrome door knob. However, instead of grabbing a hold of it like she had planned, there was something within her that forced her muscles to freeze with a fierce and perhaps instinctual hesitancy, like cement was, all of a sudden, injected into her muscle fibers making her feel like paralyzed statue.
Now that it came down to officially walking out the motel room door, Ellie found herself conflicted with an understandingly natural and fitting reluctance as Ellie knew as soon as she walked out that door, not only would she would be disobeying a very serious direct order that was put in place to keep her safe, but she would be betraying Sam and Dean's trust to a massive degree.
The anxious teenager hummed out dramatic whiny moan of frustration as she jerked her hand away her hovering from the rounded chrome knob. Ellie rotated her body towards the brown textured wall to the right of the scuffed motel door shaking out her hands in conflicting and fidgety agitation as the struggle inside her reeled in exasperating distress. Ellie found herself pacing the length of the small entry way, laying her sturdy Carhart boots into the dense carpeting, entering and exiting the entry archway like dog chasing its tail.
Fretful and very valid questions whirled through her mind like turbulent storm. What if Sam and Dean got back before she did? Which was not only a grave and very real possibility, but a likely one. She was taking a huge gamble on the clinic taking at least the full hour. And if that was not enough to spike her anxiety to newfound heights, she still needed to find a means to get to Red Cloud which was 10 miles from Ford City, although close, it sure as hell wasn't feasible walking distance. And not to mention if they got back and saw her out of the motel, even just in the parking lot or the damn hallway for that matter, she was going to get it, big time, no ifs, ands or buts about it, her ass was grass, as Dean declared it so dauntingly direct that Ellie was inclined to believe the man wholeheartedly. Keeping her quintessential 'Hunter's kid' status fully intact, Ellie was no stranger in receiving the belt from time to time, and if her memory served her correct, it was absolute hell and there was large, very prominent, part of the child in Ellie that had a healthy fear of it which was contributing her hesitancy far more than she wanted to acknowledge.
Yet, it would seem, despite Dean's successes in getting her to pause and think twice, Ellie determination and will proved to be stronger and if it wasn't for the dire circumstances of man's life hanging in the balance, Ellie would be obliged to play the part of the good kid and keep her ass in the motel room. However, the fact was Dean was dying and much to Dean's dismay, Ellie was not going swayed by some stupid butt whupping threat.
Come on, Ellie. Afraid of damn licking? You freaking coward!
Dean was dying and, in Ellie's calculations, that was far more important than her ability to sit comfortably. It wasn't even set in stone that she would be caught, not if she was quick and smart about it. No matter the risk, she had to try. Even if she failed and betrayed their trust, from her perspective, it was worth the effort for the man's life. Butt whupping will a belt hurt like holy hell fire, but they sure as hell didn't hurt as bad as loosing someone you cared about and Ellie knew that first hand.
Feeling a breath of gritty courage rise her petite chest, Ellie exploited it at full force. And before Ellie had a chance to second guess, debate or talk herself back out it, she snagged ahold of the tarnished chrome knob and gave it brisk twist, hearing the lock click off its latch. She pulled the dirty scuffed door open and stepped over the line of salt, that Sam strategically placed along the base of the door. She crossed the threshold into the hallway before pulling the door shut behind her. With long determined strides Ellie marched down the hallway without looking back, her dark brown locks fanning back behind her as she left her rationality behind and took with her a rash determination and grit that would have any parent's skin crawling in fierce trepidation.
Come hell or high water, the little Hunter was going to try to save that man's life, forcing her care for the man to override all else, including her fears and her own personal safety all in hopes to fill the part of her heart she broke by her shameful manipulation of the two brothers.
Saving the man's life would more than make up for her deception. Right?
TBC
Oh Miss Ellie, I don't know about that.
Please review and let me know your thoughts, insight, predictions etc. It's all greatly appreciated and I can say with certainty it motivates me to write faster lol.
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Thank you for reading, lots of love!