The First Try

888

On the edge of the universe at the far flung places the calm was in place. Beyond the realm of war, beyond the holdings of Time Lord and Dalek, there was quiet. In the distance the observant could watch the flickering and blaze on the horizon a storm roaring in the distance, nothing more than ominous flashes in the dark stillness of it all. It was now that the first rumble of thunder was heard that the first maligned breeze blew cold chills across the calmness of this portion of reality.

The box faded into existence, sliding fitfully into the darkness of the world. It was a brilliant blue an authoritative blue. The light on top had once flashed proudly as the engines thrummed and wheezed and groaned against reality itself. The door swung inwards and out came a man. A man who had once been cheerful, been happy, but now he was dour and dressed in a crinkled leather jacket. He looked out onto the calmness beyond. He took a deep breath, and looked up into the sky.

"Here, this place…the only place to do this properly." He said quietly to himself. He walked forward looking at the sky. Seeing just a little more than a normal person would see. He closed his eyes and turned from the sky. "No…no more…"

He turned and walked towards his box, and pushed inside to the large room within. The doors slid closed behind him. He walked up a few steps onto a dais braced by iron pillars, in the center a large hexagonal console stood with a large casing that enclosed blue crystals that extended up into the invisible ceiling above. He checked the monitors and checked the scanners and checked the readouts. He nodded quietly and then pushed from the console walked down the steps from the dais and disappeared into the caverns of the impossible blue box.

It was several minutes before he returned with a large pack on his back. The box had fought him, it knew what was happening and it was against it, but he was beyond the point of being stopped by her inconvenience, beyond the frustration of corridors changing and doors ceasing to exist, beyond being lost inside the box. He walked to the console, and gently stroked it, his fingers running along its knobs and buttons, sliding over the dials and the switches. He looked at the glowing crystals, he took a deep breath. His fingers reached a large heavy switch. A switch he never thought he'd pull. The entire box on the inside shuddered. A pitiful gong sounded from somewhere far away and yet nearby.

"Shh, shh, quiet now…it will only be a short while. I promise and then we can both have our rest." He said as if whispering to a dog going to the vet.

He stroked the console gently with his other hand as his fingers curled around the switch handle. The switch came down with a loud snap, and with that the room went dark. His footsteps echoed in the absolute silence of the box as he slowly peeled the doors open and slipped out again into the calmness outside.

He trudged out onto the plains slowly walking carrying his burden with him. He'd seen the truth of it all now. He'd seen the darkness. He knew now the secret that the Time Lords had kept. He knew the final ending of it all, the shape of it, the feel of it, the taste of it. He knew the wrongness of it, but more so he knew the rightness of it.

The planet was desolate, long ago forgotten by all those who knew it. The last forgotten place in the entire universe, the only place to do a deed and keep it stuck. The rest of the universe was too chaotic, too in flux. This place, outside the insane, whipping chaos of the war, was the only place that the war could be stopped.

It was after many miles that he found the shed, the place of the deed. He heaved quietly and lowered his pack to the ground and slowly, slowly unfurled it opening and revealing the golden box within. He could hear it whispering in the calm. He placed it on a pedestal in the middle of the shed.

"Do you really think this is wise?" The whisper said quietly, hushedly.

"I am beyond the point of wisdom." The man said quietly, knowing it was mostly to himself. "The war ends…you will be the tool that ends it."

"This is not the most auspicious position in the universe." The whispered replied. "It is an affront to me, this place."

"Oh, do shut up." He grumbled as he searched the box for some kind of access panel or button. "Your interface is hardly practical."

"I'm a pan-temporal, transcendental archetype…my construction both exists across all of space and time and within this tiny box." The whisper said getting louder, more feminine. "Me existing in any physical frame of reference IS practical interface."

The man looked up, his bushy gray eyebrows bunched together in annoyance. "I suppose this is some kind of mind trick."

"If you wish." The whisper said. He watched as she walked around, dressed in a lavender skirt and top. Her hair was raven dark, her face innocent and young like he remembered her when she came back to the old junkyard from that school. Her voice now matched that voice from so long ago. "I just picked a form from your history so you can contextualize me."

"This parlor trick won't dissuade me." He said as turned his attentions back to the box.

"I am ancient, Doctor, constructed in the Dark Times, born of the fire and the rage of the Time Lords youth, created as the ultimate weapon to destroy any enemy who so much as breathed a word of contempt against Gallifrey." The girl said smirking at the man. "I have never been used in all my millions and millions of years…no one has ever armed me, no one has dared fire me. I swayed the hand of Morbius, Doctor. You are not Morbius, I know you, I've always known you….even before you were you I knew you…you don't have the bloodlust to do it, Doctor…"

The old man stopped and looked up at the girl. "I am not the Doctor…"

"You may not call yourself 'the Doctor' but you cannot deny that you are still him, deep inside, you may have tried to drown him in the blood of billions, in the sacrifices of the innocent, in the rage and hatred and anger…" The girl said, smirking. "But you're still a grandfather…you're still that man, that hero, that saint, that last hope of the hopeless."

"The universe is beyond hope, there is no hero to save us, no saint to absolve our sins." The man said quietly as he stared down at the box. He gave the girl a side-long glance. "I have no family not anymore. She died; you know she died. The Daleks took her and put her in one of their prison camps, they tortured her, and did horrific things to her. They wanted to use her as a bargaining chip against the Doctor.

"She was brave through it all, she believed her grandfather would save her, he had promised he'd come back…the thing is…she forgot the first rule…" He looked at the box, "the Doctor lies…her grandfather died a long time ago on Karn, he was never coming back to save her, no one was coming to save her. The Daleks figured that out and they put k-alpha pulse through her hearts…quite possibly the most merciful thing the damned dust bins ever did. It was at least far more merciful than what her grandfather did to the poor child…"

He looked up at the image of the girl standing next to him, and glared. "So, you talk all you want, with your stolen voice, with your stolen image, with your stolen ethos. You try and conjure up some goodwill in my hearts and try…try as you might to make me think I can save everyone…try and stop me doing this monstrous deed. Pretend that I don't know, haven't thought about this every waking moment of my existence, haven't tried every myriad path, haven't fought Daleks and Time Lords, Gods and Demons, FOUGHT MYSELF EIGHT TIMES OVER! You may think you can stop me, because you think I am not as bloodthirsty as Morbius…but allow me to remind you who it was that finished Morbius off…twice." The man turned his gaze back to the box. "Morbius didn't use you, not for lack of bloodlust, but because he had other options…because even as monstrous and demented as he became….he had hope left…because in the end Morbius wished to rule the universe…" the man's fingers slid over the surface of the box. "I simply want an end to the suffering."

"You won't end the suffering." The girl said taking up a position on the opposite side of the box, lowering herself to the man's eye level. "If you do this…if you use me, you will live. That's the deal, that's your penance, your restitution for this crime. You will survive to tell the story, to remember every detail of this time. You get the opportunity to look back on this day and think of ways you could've changed it, could've stopped it. Could've saved all those grandchildren on Gallifrey..."

"Do what you have to." The man said as his fingers touched a catch. There was a click and the box slowly unfolded, revealing the masterful construct underneath. He looked into its matrices as a large ruby encrusted button exposed itself and then up to the girl. "I am doing what I have to do…for the sake of peace and sanity."

"There will come a day when you count up all the lives that you'll kill in this act, and the weight of their souls will crush you." The girl said quietly. Her dark eyes twinkling in the light of the Moment. "If you do this the suffering you will cause…"

"The universe is suffering now…death is coming to time and space and everything…any suffering this may cause is infinitesimally…"

"Not to the universe, not to the other life forms out there, not to even the Time Lords or the Daleks…but to you…" The girl shook her head and chuckled softly to herself. "You don't even see it. Even now, on the cusp of doing the most horrific thing in your life…you are more concerned for the universe and the life within it than for yourself. That is why you are still the Doctor…now at this moment."

"I'm sorry, but you are mistaken…" The old man put his hand on the jewel switch. A tear fell from his eye. He put his weight onto the button. "No more…."

The button slid down. The lights burned. History was undone….

And in the depths of it all, the single moment encapsulated in the chaos, looked outward. "So wrong my noble friend…I am not done trying…again….you will do this again….until you do it right…"

888

The man was standing before the weapon, the greatest, most horrific weapon in the history of the universe. A weapon he was intending to use to end the Time War, bring peace and sanity back to the universe. That is if it would allow him to, the consciousness the weapon had was playing with him, trying to dissuade him, he knew it would the legends told of its moral indignation. It was now taking the form of a young woman, with blonde hair, it smiled at him.

"Are you afraid of the Big Bad Wolf, Doctor….?"