The Good, the Sad and the Drugly Oscar instead of Milhouse helps Bart prank because he doesn't squeal. Hugo dates Jenny and eleventy billion more drug references and Lisa's depression over the environment and global warming updated for 2013 with added Greta Thunberg
Plot
The chalkboard gag is "I will not mock the teacher's cell phone."
The couch gag is the Chimpsons. The Simpsons as apes. Damn dirty apes that is! The human Simpsons cut their way through vines and leaves to encounter the the Ape Simpsons. The Ape Simpsons screech and chase them away.
"You damn dirty apes!" Oscar screamed as he fled.
"Oz no!" Bart groaned.
...
Bart and Oscar were pranking the school. They had electric screwdrivers.
"Did you unscrew all the Phillips heads?" Bart asked Oscar.
"Check." said Oscar. "Did you unscrew all the flat-heads?"
"Yep. And now we wait." said Bart. The school fell apart as things unscrewed and a fire alarm went off but fell apart because it was unscrewed.
(SCREAMING) People ran out screaming. The school letters fell on Willie knocking him out. Three Ns became Zs (SNORING) because he was snoring. Hehehe!
(BOTH LAUGHING) Bart and Oscar laughed.
"Now go hide the evidence while I walk around saying, (GASPING) "What happened? Who would do such a thing?"" said Bart.
"I'll return these to the shop room. What's left of it." said Oscar taking the evidence.
(GRUNTING) Chalmers was in some sort of amusing mishap from Bart's prank. "Skinner" He yelled.
(SHUSHING) "Don't tell him I'm here." Skinner told Edna.
"I know you're there, Skinner. I'd recognize those discolored Hush Puppies anywhere." said Chalmers arriving,
(LAUGHING) "Hear that? He thinks my Try 'N Save brand Shush Mutts are genuine Hush Puppies." said Skinner. (GLASS SHATTERING) A window broke or something.
Wille arrived with Oscar. Holding him by the collar of his blue sweater with green triangles on it.
"We've got the how, we've got the who, but we don't have the why." said Skinner.
"Here it is!" said Willie holding a Y. Oscar laughed.
"Hard to believe one lad can cause all this mayhem." said Chalmers.
"Particularly a lad who failed Introduction to Unscrewing." said the Woodshop teacher, a burly bloke with an eyepatch. (EXCLAIMS IN DISGUST) (CLICKING TONGUE)
"And I don't buy this lone prankster theory. I think there was a second fun man. And if you don't identify him, you're looking at a week suspension!" said Skinner to Oscar.
(SCOFFING) "A nickel." Oscar scoffed as he would never squeal on anyone. Unlike Milhouse.
Oscar, you realize if you're suspended, you'll be missing Taco Wednesday?" said Skinner.
(GASPS) Oscar gasped.
"Crunchy shell, ground beef, lettuce, mild sauce and, of course, shredded Cheddar cheese. Mmm-mmm." Skinner tempted him. But Oscar kept silent.
"I'll never tell." said Oscar.
"Consider yourself suspended, mister." said Skinner. "Willie, take him to the big house where he lives."
"My Uncle Buck's apartment." said Oscar.
"Let's go, lad." Willie usher him out. "Suspended boy walking!" Green Mile references!
Bart visited Oscar at his uncle's flat.
"Thanks for not selling me out, man." said Bart.
"Yeah. I'm no Milhouse..." Oscar smirked. "You can trust me."
In a what if gag.
"Milhouse, you didn't pull this prank with the electric screwdrivers alone, tell us who Hel-" said Skinner but he barely finished when.
"It was Bart! Bart planned everything!" Milhouse squealed.
"Wow! And I didn't even have to remind him that it was a Taco Wednesday tomorrow! Willie, haul Bart in here..." said Skinner.
Bart face palmed.
In the present.
"That's true I suppose." said Bart. "I can't trust that little booger not to squeal at all anymore..."
"This really sucks though, Bart. I'm grounded and have to spend all day listening to my uncle yell at Mad Money with Jim Cramer." said Oscar.
"You said tech stocks were bulletproof!" Uncle Buck Tamaki yelled at the TV.
Bart winced.
A car horn beeped.
"Well I have to go Oz. I'll probably see you when you've ungrounded yourself. Bye." said Bart.
...
Homer picked up Bart.
"Boy I think that Oscar is a bad influence on you. I think he's El Barto..." said Homer.
Homer, Matt spoiled that gag in [Exit Through the Kwik-E-Mart]... Well it's sequel in my canon.
"Anyway it's time to visit Grampa but because I am a douche, I am sunbathing round the corner with my pants on the roof of my car and you'll see Grampa alone." Homer took off his pants and laid them on the roof of his car.
"You're right Dad. You are a douche! How can you be so cruel?!" Bart snapped as he got out of the car.
"Sheeeesh! Boy do you not pay attention when he belittles me!" Homer whined.
"Dad he calls you a melon head and won't let you be president. Considering the mess George Bush made. I'm glad buffoons like you can't be president..." said Bart shutting the car door and heading off to see Grampa.
Homer seethed.
"Bye Homer..." Hugo rudely called his dad by his name as he followed Bart.
Homer groaned.
Uncle Buck's apartment.
Buck was inhaling from his bong.
"Dave's not here man..."
Oscar rolled his eyes.
...
Bart and Hugo went into the retirement home.
"Can I Help you..." the receptionist asked bored.
"I'm here to see my Grampa." said Bart.
All the men peeked out of their rooms.
"Half the residents here answer to Grampa." said the receptionist.
"I meant Grampa Simpson." said Bart.
"Fifth door on the left." said the receptionist pointing Bart and Hugo to Abe's room.
They were welcomed into their Grampa's flat.
"Earwigs! Eyelids! Boys, where's your oaf of a father?!" Grampa asked.
"He's being a jackass and won't come in with us..." said Bart.
"Bart watch your mouth... and I know your father is a selfish jerk of a son..." said Grampa.
Some time passes and Bart and Hugo are with Grampa in a main gathering area the old people sit and chat in.
"So, Grampa, not like I'm anxious to go, but I've been here 10 minutes, which is like seven hours in kid years." Bart said bored.
"Oh, isn't she marvelous?"
"It's her! The little girl who doesn't recoil at the sight of us!" said residents like Jasper or Crazy old Jewish guy.
"Huh?" said Bart as a little girl arrived.
(GASPS) Bart gasped because she was pretty.
"Hi, guys! I brought cookies." said the the girl. Here are the following cookies and residents.
"Chocolate chip for Donald."
"Diabetic for Wilford Brimley."
"I am Wilford Brimley. I have diabeetus. I was in Cocoon you know?" said Wilford Brimley.
"Low sodium for Abe." she gave Abe a low sodium cookie.
"Hey!" said Abe happily.
"Not made by immigrants for Sam," There was a racist resident. Thank goodness Lisa isn't here...
"and imaginary for Major Preston." She gave an imaginary one to a crazy resident who thought he was still at Roarke's Drift.
(LAUGHS) 'With this cookie, I can buy back Private O'Malley from the Zulus."
"I think it is so cool what you are doing. So what's the gag? You put ex-lax in the cookies, then just sit back and watch the fireworks?" said Bart trying to chat the girl up.
"I would never do that!" The girl was horrified.
"Oh, right. I was thinking of other things that are hilarious. Like things that you think are funny." said Bart trying to cover for himself.
"That's not funny." The girl frowned.
"Ignore my twin brother... he's an idiot..." said Hugo. Bart frowned at Hugo. "I do think it's rather sweet what you're doing. I'm Hugo by the way."
"Jenny." said Jenny.
Bart made a frustrated groan.
She had more curves than a Hot Wheels track. Well, she didn't yet, but she would after puberty. Hugo thought holding Jenny's hand. But suddenly she was an old woman!
"Oh, Einstein's theory of relativity! How long was I zoned out?" Hugo yelled. Bart frowned and waved his crucifix rosary at him.
"Hugo, this is my Aunt Belle. We dress alike. Isn't that cute?" said Jenny.
"Uh... No..." said Hugo.
...
At home, Lisa was preparing for school tomorrow.
"Math, done. Pinecone, collected. Permission slip, signed. Now time for a break, a little social studies." said Lisa sat at her laptop. (LAUGHING) ""What will Springfield be like in 50 years?" Let's see what the computer says." The news was dire. It would be flooded by global warming. "That's horrible. What else? Oh, Buddha! Nooooooo!" Polar bears die! GASPS) "It just gets worse and worse!"
(CHILDREN CHATTERING)
Nelson saw Hugo had reeled in a girl. That one he wasn't interested in because she didn't have an extra head or fingers or something. "So who's the special someone?"
"Jenny, fifth grade girl." said Hugo screwing with a screwdriver a gadget of some kind. A tiny satellite dish on it spun about.
"Whoa! She gets to use the real scissors." said Nelson. What is up with this school...
"Nice... Hugo sighed wincing as to why Nelson couldn't use the proper scissors.
"When she talks to me, I feel like a better person." said Hugo fixing his device or gadget.
"Powerful stuff. You better claim her as your own. Punch her in her arm. Or if you're really serious, stick gum in her hair." said Nelson. "Here, I always come prepared. Take two. You might get lucky."
"No! What is wrong with you?! I am not hitting a girl! That's something my idiot twin brother would do!" Hugo ranted.
"Fine..." Nelson sighed.
"Hey, Jenny." said Hugo as Jenny arrived.
Hi, Hugo." said Jenny.
"Boy, you make it look effortless." Martin commented.
Hugo winked at him.
"And that kid's giving you zero pump." said Database.
Oh. You guys are smart enough to know what a girl likes to hear. I have no idea how you're all still single..." said Hugo.
The nerds cough and splutter and administer their asthma pumps.
Hugo sighed.
"Seal the deal. Punch her. Punch her! Punch her!" Nelson yelled.
Hugo glared at him.
Bart shook his head at Nelson.
"Hey, do you want to go on a picnic tomorrow? You'd love my PB & J. The secret is no PB, double J." said Hugo. A jam sandwich...
"How dare you ignore Peanut and Baby Butter Otter! I will now sing the Noodle song!" Oscar yelled being moronic about P, B and J Otter.
''Noodle, use your noodle''
''Noodle, do the noodle dance''
''Solve a problem, it's no strain''
''Use your noodle, that's your brain''
''Noodle, use your noodle''
''Noodle, do the noodle dance''
''There's an answer you can find''
''Use your noodle, that's your mind''
''In a bind, just use your mind''
''Use your noodle!''
Hugo winced. "Um ignore him. He's one of the remedial kids..." said Hugo.
"Oh, he's sweet!" said Jenny.
"Um yeah... sure..." said Hugo.
"MALKAFOFET!" Oscar rasped.
Hugo face palmed.
"Well sure, I'll go on a picnic with you." said Jenny.
Note to self, girl might not like fish heads... Hugo told himself.
Oscar was pulling a chain of coloured hankies out of his mouth.
"What are you doing?!" Hugo yelled.
Plot 2
"And now Ralph Wiggum will read his essay on Springfield in 50 years." said Miss Hoover. We're in Second Grade class now.
(CLEARING THROAT) "In 50 years, the vacuum cleaner will be quiet and not scary." said Ralph.
"Amen!" said Teddy the living teddy bear as Oscar hugged him.
"Next we have Lisa Simpson." said Miss Hoover.
"Oh, Ralph, how I envy your optimism." said Lisa.
"There is no Springfield 50 years in the future! With global warming trapping the CO2 inside our poisonous atmosphere, our super-heated oceans will rise, drowning our lowlands, leaving what's left of humanity baking in deserts that once fed the world! (PANTING) And in the new Nineveh, darkness falls." Lisa ranted.
"Cooooool! Us vampires can go out during the day!" said Ace.
"Ace eternal darkness is not cool..." Lisa winced.
(SCREAMING)
(THUD) someone fainted.
"Lisa, your outburst was either a sign of deep emotional imbalance or a passionate response to a sobering truth." said Skinner as Lisa was sent to his office.
"Or Greta Thunberg style insanity. Oh no! We're doooooooomed! Doooooomed" Oscar mocked Greta.
Lisa glared at him.
,Luckily, the treatment for both is intensive therapy." said Skinner.
"What's therapy gonna do for me when the world is in ashes?" Lisa whined.
"Well then, you'll have my permission to die, Lisa Simpson." said Tom Hardy Bane.
Lisa winced.
"Oh, I don't know. But when you go, could you return this Sports lllustrated for me? Someone must've put it in my bag. They do that, you know? They're always putting things in my bag." said Skinner.
Hugo and Jenny somewhere. Probably walking home. Bart was being a gooseberry.
"So you visit old folks. How else do you make the world a better place?" Jenny asked.
"Uh... I... (HUMMING) I spend a lot of time working with this mentally challenged guy." Bart lied. "Why, here he is now. Looking good, Oscar!"
"Bart, I'm autistic/Aspergers... I am not mentally challenged..." said Oscar on the other side of the street.
"He seems pretty high functioning." said Jenny.
"Just wait." said Bart.
A soccer ball with black pentagons bounced past.
"Haaaaaaaaaaaawwww! Spotty ball!" Oscar squealed.
"See..." said Bart.
"Awwwwwww! He's cute!" said Jenny.
...
At therapy.
"We believe Lisa is suffering from environment-related despair." said the therapist.
(SOBBING) "It's even worse when you know it has a name." Marge cried and sobbed.
"Now don't worry. She'll be fine after years of expensive treatment. And we have a new drug to combat this syndrome, Ignorital. it's what the government uses to make Greta Thunberg shut up."
"Nix ay on Greta Thunberg ay!" Lisa growled in pig Latin snarling.
,Let me show you how lgnorital works. It turns this to this!" The therapist had a picture of a sad face, erased it and drew a happy face! "Huh?"
(MURMURING) "Lisa's a little young to be taking happy pills." said Marge,
"Marge, we came to an appointment in the middle of the day. That's the most a parent can do. We done here?" said Homer.
"Oh, go ahead. Numb me." said Lisa taking the Ignorital pill bottle.
At home. Bart bothered Marge in the kitchen.
"Mom, can I get those dishes for you?" Bart did the dishes. (HUMMING)
"What's your angle, mister?" Marge was suspicious.
"No angle." said Bart.
"Obtuse!" said Hugo coming in. He laughed.
Bart winced.
"Oh and Bart's just sucking up because he's trying to steal my girlfriend..." said Hugo.
"Oh Bart..." Marge sighed.
"Hugo you don't even like her because she's not a Siamese twin, deformed, doesn't have an extra finger or a conjoined dead foetus on her head!" Bart ranted. "And she's already moved on from you to be with Oscar because she thinks his Aspergers is cute!"
"That whore!" Hugo yelled.
"Hugo! Language!" Marge scolded Hugo.
"Yes busboys get all the chicks..." said Homer.
Elsewhere Milhouse was butt naked. Because Hank stupidly thought he was when he threw a tantrum and tried to remove the episode.
"Uh... okay..." said Milhouse naked somewhere. He was playing naked basketball again...
...
"Well, off to school where they'll prepare our little minds for a future we'll never see." said Lisa depressed.
"Sounds like someone's got a case of the Mondays." said Marge giving her pills.
"Stop drugging you're children!" Oscar shouted.
"Oz don't shout at me and secondly, do you want Lisa moping all day and delivering her passionate speeches?" Marge sighed.
"No... But you can't make someone happy! We learnt that from a Lisa's Silvertongue pills that make people's eyeballs fall out!" said Oscar. "Plus it's wrong to brainwash people like that!"
Hugo sighed.
"I hate Mondays..." said Garfield.
"I am not in the mood Garfield..." said Oscar seething.
Lisa got on the bus. (CHILDREN LAUGHING) (ALL SHOUTING) (GRUNTING) There were kids cheering or fighting,
"I'm going to Disneyland..." she sighed. And took the pills swallowing them.
(WHAT A WONDERFUL WORLD PLAYING) (SINGING)
She hallucinates people as Mobile phone smileys! Everyone is cute Smileys even a hobo is vomiting smileys. Lisa smiles doped up.
"That's odd. I see that too, without pills. I also see frogs with funny hats..." said Oscar.
There were frogs with all sorts of hats on. Ie top hats and derby hats.
Chuck winced.
"And Screaming leprechauns..." said Oscar.
There were screaming leprechauns. They screamed loudly.
One screaming leprechaun was repulsed by a smiley faced hobo puking smileys... "Eeeeeeew..."
"Okay...' said Chuck.
Lisa was still in a trance smiling as she gazed out the window.
Ralph was sat behind her picking his nose.
...
Serving dinner. Bart was laying the table.
"So this is setting the table. If I'd known how easy this was, I'd have just done it instead of throwing all those tantrums." said Bart laying the table.
"Oh, Bart, I don't care that this is just an act. You've finally become the boy every mother dreams of, a girl!" said Marge.
"OH MY GOD! HE'S TRANNY!" Oscar screamed.
Bart winced.
"Oscar I have explained to you numerous times! D-" said Marge. (SNIFFS) Oscar snorted snot because he had a blocked nose. "Oscar, blow your nose!"
Bart frowned at Oscar while he blew his nose.
At dinner madness ensues!
Oscar chuckled.
"You never told me that the special man you were working with is your father." Jenny asked Bart.
"It's not an easy thing to admit." said Bart embarrassed.
Homer was eating a chicken drumstick and corn. A fly landed on his forehead. He shrugged and smacked his head onto his dinner plate very hard. Smooshing the fly.
Oscar laughed.
"Is the rest of your family okay?" Jenny winced.
"Well..." Bart winced as Lisa was high on happy pills.
"Hello, smiley face. Hello, smiley face!" said Lisa extremely high as she hallucinated them all as smiley faces.
(CLANCY PANTING) Smiley Clancy ran past the front of the house chasing Smiley Snake. (SCREAMING) Smiley Snake shot him and he bled out Smileys! XD! Clancy: (GROANING) "Officer down."
(LAUGHS) Oscar laughed hysterically.
"Oz what is wrong with you?! A man outside is bleeding to death!" Bart shouted.
"No he's bleeding smileys! Hehehehe! Look at the smileys!" Oscar had clearly took Lisa's pills.
"Mom get rid of those things!" Bart whined.
Marge winced. The doctor certainly didn't tell her the pills would do that...
...
Jenny took Oscar on a picnic instead.
Homer was arguing with his reflection In the lake...
"Don't shake your fist at me! Look, man. I don't want any trouble. Come on. Here. Just take my wallet. Leave me alone, okay?" Homer argued with his reflection. Evil Homer emerged from the lake and pulled him in drowning him. (Blubbering)
"Jiminy Crickets! Oz no!" Hugo winced at this madness.
Then Narcissus from Greek mythology was admiring his own reflection in the lake and then he turned into daffodils.
"Do you know who else was really into rowboats? Jesus. And he could've turned his rowboat into a jet ski, but he didn't. Good guy." said Oscar talking crap. But Jenny didn't mind.
(GASPING) "Cheese and crackers! Look!" She cried.
(DUCK QUACKING) Jimbo was teasing a mother duck by refusing to give her back her duckling.
"Oh. You want your duckling back? Here it is. Psych!" said Jimbo. (LAUGHING) "That'll teach you to match wits with us, you stupid mother duck!"
"It's Mother Fuck!" Oscar yelled over to them.
Jenny gasped because he swore.
"Yeah I swear, no I can help my cursing. It's not Tourette's." said Oscar.
"Bart, can't you do something?" Jenny cried tearfully. "Bart?!"
"Mmm-hmm!" Bart ran off and helped the bullies steal ducklings and tease the mother.
Jenny cried.
Those bullies are gonna kill me. Why am I doing this? Oscar sighed in an internal monologue He saw Jenny pleading. Oh, yeah. Oh and another thing! I'd be the one killing! I'm a third Dan black belt!
Oscar fiercely marches up to the bullies and Bart.
"Please, guys, give me a break. Can you give me the duckling without me destroying you?" Oscar warned them calmly.
"Well, we'll have to beat you up a little." said Dolph.
"Come on. I'm trying to impress a girl." said Oscar.
"So are we." said Jimbo.
"Either the duck suffers or the kid does or none of you's getting nothing from Shauna. I'm Shauna." said Shauna.
"I know who you are Shauna... I've already introduced you as a character..." said Oscar.
"Oz beat it... Ha! Come on you stupid duck!" said Bart teasing the mother duck.
"Grrrrrrr. (Oscar seethed.) I'm asking you nicely guys. Put the ducklings back. And no one gets hurt..." said Oscar losing his cool.
Bart and the bullies laughed.
"I mean it guys. Don't make me destroy you!" Oscar warned them.
"Ooooooh! We're so scared!" Jimbo mocked him.
Jenny was sat at the picnic when Hugo arrived from swimming in the lake.
"Hi Jenny." said Hugo.
"Hey Hugo. No I still haven't grown an extra head..." said Jenny.
"Oh I'm asking where Oscar is." said Hugo.
"He's being a fine gentleman and saving some helpless ducklings..." Jenny sighed.
(Oscar screaming fierce war cries.) "Awatatatatatata! Ki yaaaaaaa!" Things explode violently as he utterly pulverised Jimbo, Dolph, Kearney and Bart.
He stamped on Bart's neck snapping it.
Oscar stood there grubby but only lightly injured. The bullies and Bart were a lot more worse off. "I warned you! Didn't I freaking warn you?! Now you're gonna be drinking hospital food through straws for a week! Jerks!"
He picked up the frightened ducklings running about and returned them to their panicking mother. She then calmed down and swam away from the war zone that was a spot with a tree until Oscar went super Saiyan. Shauna stood shocked and speechless.
Jenny smiled as Oscar arrived.
"Piece of cake." said Oscar dusting his hands.
Hugo looked horrified by what he had done to the bullies.
Jenny threw herself at Oscar and they kissed.
Oscar blushed.
"Hey!" Hugo yelled in a manner similar to Tombi when he lost his golden bracelet.
Tombi winced.
Plot 3
Lisa was lying on her bed smiling but high as a kite as Don't worry be happy played.
(Drunk giggling) Lisa giggled high or drugged.
(DON'T WORRYBE HAPPYPLAYING) (SINGING) Don't worry. Be happy. Don't worry, be happy.
Maggie arrived with an unguarded fan that was on and spinning but Lisa saw as a smiley face with smileys in. A smiley ception.
"If you don't stop smiling, you're gonna get a kiss." Lisa said drunk on happy pills as she was going to kiss a deadly unguarded fan. But Marge cane in.
(GASPING) "Lisa no!"
"Huh?" Lisa had a brief moment of clarity.
"That's it! We're getting you off the meds!" said Marge throwing her Ignorital pills in the bin.
The dog helped himself to the pills in the waste paper basket and chuckled as they made him high. Maggie then pointed the unguarded fan at him. Obviously they end up with a bloody mess, and a dead pet.
"Hmmmmmmm!" Marge sighed.
Elsewhere outside Bill the Waffleman hurled waffles at everyone.
"Oz cut that out!" Bart yelled.
...
At the duck lake.
"You are so brave Oscar. A bit heavy handed but brave. And I suppose those bullies were just asking for it." said Jenny in love.
"I don't think putting them in hospital with crippling injuries was the appropriate response Jenny..." said Hugo.
"Anyhoo, about your special PB and J sandwiches Hugo, that are just J..." said Jenny.
Hugo got out his sandwiches.
Oscar frowned pointing his Mypad at them that was playing an episode of P,B and J Otter.
(Peanut, Jelly and Baby Butter singing the Noodle Song.)
"Oz, hasn't it occurred to you that Jenny might be allergic to peanuts..." Hugo sighed.
"Well I'm not Hugo, but thanks for considering that option." said Jenny.
Oscar angrily sang the Noodle song from PB and J Otter.
Hugo sighed.
The mother duck swam by.
"Look Oscar, a mother duck and her ducklings." said Jenny watching from a distance.
Oscar got obsessed and Sperged out.
"Ducky ducky duckies! Haaaaaaaawwwwwww!" Oscar squealed.
"He likes ducklings and other cute animals..." said Hugo.
"Awwwwwwwwww!" said Jenny in love.
...
The Simpsons went to see Bart in hospital.
"Oz, I can't believe you assaulted Bart and put him in hospital and fractured his neck..." Marge was annoyed but unnerved over Oscar's anger.
"He was bullying ducks again and stealing ducklings from a mother duck and it was upsetting Jenny." said Oscar.
"Oh I see." said Marge. "Bart what is wrong with you?!"
"Mom, Jimbo started it. I only joined in. And snapping my neck and putting me in hospital is not an appropriate response Oz..." Bart growled. He was lying in a hospital bed bandaged up with severe injuries.
"You went for me when I was kicking Jimbo's ass!" Oscar replied.
"Oz language!" Marge told Oscar off for swearing.
...
The family minus Homer because he agreed with her, decided to annoy Marge into no longer drugging her kids because of their behaviour and to write to the school to accept Lisa's anger over pollution that was Greta Thunberg levels.
Bart was first. He took some of his Focusyn and became paranoid Bart again and was wearing tinfoil and a bin lid on his head going on about satellites reading our minds...
"Fox Sports are reading our minds!" Bart cried.
Marge sighed.
Lisa took her Ignorital. She giggled high.
"Hello smiley! Hello smiley people!"
Marge sighed shifting a bit. But this continued their assault.
Hugo took some Ritalin and it put him in an epileptic fit. He was fitting.
"Oh my god! It does that?!" She gasped.
"Yes..." said Oscar.
Bart once he shook off his paranoia he took some Dexatrine. It made him into Smart Hugo but he recited Pythagoras's theorem incorrectly. "The sum of an isosceles triangle is equal to the two remaining sides."
"That's a Right Triangle you idiot!" Hugo snapped.
Oscar took an antipode to Lunatrix that Hugo invented called Imaginatrix. That caused delusions and imagination. Oscar could see Santa, The Easter bunny, The angry Leprechaun from Hex and the City and Papa Smurf. He laughed insisting Santa was there.
Grampa took Silver tongue cheerful pills and became cheerful but his eyes hanging out on their optic muscles.
"Meth..." said Oscar holding a bottle of Crystal Math.
Bart took his Zoloft and had a huge boner.
"Okay! Okay! No more drugs in this house! Not even ones to calm and focus Bart or to cheer up Lisa!" Marge cried.
The kids high fived each other and left.
Homer groaned.
...
Elsewhere Milhouse was annoyed Bart didn't hire him to help with his prank and threatened to wreck his relationship with Jenny only to find he had wrecked it himself.
"She's dating Oscar and Hugo. Well Hugo at first but he wasn't interested because she didn't have two heads or a conjoined twin... And she thinks Oscar's cute.
Oscar was squealing and hugging his teddy bear creature, Teddy.
"Awwwww! That's sweet!" Jenny sighed.
"Well about that prank..." Milhouse frowned.
"Oscar's right Milhouse. You'd squeal on me the moment you get in trouble and can't take it..." Bart frowned.
"Fine... Taco Tuesday was great though."
"Yeah..." said Bart.
Bart had his turn to show a Jenny he could be good.
Oscar decided to put Jenny off of him.
"Bart, I learned some great new swear words from my uncle." said Oscar. "He has got a broken back, so he's in constant pain. which is why he smokes cannabis."
Jenny gasped. "Bart, would you be interested in swears?"
"Yes, because only by knowing them can you prevent bad little kids from saying them." said Bart lying.
"To be honest, I swear more than Bart does. Because his mom doesn't approve of it. No one's the boss of me though." said Oscar.
Bart argued with Milhouse about Thomas Jefferson and John Adams.
"Milhouse, real best friends often don't speak for years at a time, like John Adams and Thomas Jefferson." said Bart.
"Just because you saw one episode of one miniseries doesn't mean you get to use it as a whip!" Milhouse groaned. "Ow!" Oscar whipped him with a whip.
"What is your name maggot!" Oscar yelled whipping him.
"Oscar stop acting like a racist slave master..." Bart sighed.
"Look, man. I have to keep my dark past hidden." said Bart to Milhouse.
"You dark Mother fucker!" Oscar whipped Bart.
"Ow! Oz stop that!" Bart yelled.
"Ah I see you've found your Abigail Adams..." said Milhouse.
"My who?" Bart asked, being clueless about American history.
"No! Wednesday Addams!" Oscar yelled.
Bart strangled him.
...
A bake sale at the church.
"Reverend, care for some of my devil's food cake?" Devil Ned asked him. "Mwuhahahaha!"
"Is that really devil's food?" Lovejoy sighed.
"No. It's angel food with chocolate on top." Ned sighed.
"Mmm-hmm. I knew it." said Lovejoy.
"I make an evil Devil's Food cake! Mwuhahahaha!" Satan laughed maniacally. "It's funny because I'm the devil and it's devil's food cake..."
"Mmmmmmmm! Evil chocolate..." Oscar moaned and drooled with hunger.
"Sorry I'm late. I didn't realize you had to turn the oven on to bake stuff." said Bart wearing a chef's hat carrying a tray of cookies.
Oscar laughed hysterically.
"Well I should expect to see something the Simpsons baked today..." Helen sniped.
Marge frowned as she arrived with brownies or something.
"Well I baked Kyle." said Cartman having baked Kyle shaped gingerbread men or knowing Cartman he literally baked him...
"Not funny!" Oscar and Kyle yelled.
"What? Oh I get it... it's about my anti Semitism... Well tough shit! Sieg heil!" said Cartman.
...
At the Aquarium.
Milhouse once again pestered Bart and Jenny.
"Ugh! What now Milhouse..." Bart groaned.
"Jenny, do you see how the dolphin in that tank seems to shy away from Bart? Why might that be?" said Milhouse frowning.
"Dolpha! Dolpha! Dolpha! Dolpha!" Oscar squealed at the dolphin in a tank. It shied away from him.
"D'awwwwwwww! Oscar's so sweet!" Jenny cooed.
Milhouse groaned as Oscar's Aspergers was distracting Jenny from learning the truth about Bart.
Bart winced at the sight of Oscar squealing about "Dolphas".
"Milhouse, Bart doesn't need a character assassination. He already put me off of him when he said he thinks it's funny to put laxatives in the cookies for the old folks...' said Jenny.
Bart frowned. "Jenny I can be a decent person!"
"Yeah, and I summoned Biggie Smalls by saying his name three times in the mirror only for him the get pissed at me and then he shot up my bathroom." said Oscar. He was touching the starfish in the small aquatic creatures touch tank.
Bart winced.
"Oz... knowing you. You probably did summon the vengeful spirit of Biggie Smalls..." Hugo sighed.
"Oh yeah, I did." said Oscar.
"Jenny please!" Bart whined.
"Bart, I don't want a relationship that's built on lies!" Jenny frowned at him. I like Oscar!"
"Hey Jenny look! The Little Mermaid starfish bikini..." Oscar was wearing starfish on his nipples and holding his sweater and Shirt in a bundle.
Bart winced. "Oz butt out of this conversation and go and squeal at the dolphins or something..."
"Fine..." said Oscar going to the dolphin exhibit.
The dolphins held him hostage at gun point. Because dolphins in the Simpsons are evil...
...
Bart tried to find some activity away from Milhouse and Oscar to plead to Jenny to take him back.
They went to a juice carton tasting event. It's like wine testing but for kids...
"Can Milhouse come?" Jenny asked.
"No! He'll spill everything! By which I mean the juice!
Oscar had got extremely drunk on juice cartons.
Well I've always hated your damn principles... And I've never had the nerve to say this... but you're a-" said Oscar drunk.
A posh lady gasping suggests he swore.
Bart face palmed.
They went on a boat. Sea Captain's boat.
"Ah much better... Milhouse won't follow us here because he gets nosebleeds at sea level..." said Bart.
"Wrong again Bart..." said Milhouse there with a nose bleed. He fainted from blood loss.
"Bart I'm rather busy inflating Oscar's water wings. Go away..." said Jenny. Oscar was wearing orange shiny rubbery water wings.
Bart was mortified for Oscar. "Oz! Learn to swim!"
"Get off my back!" Oscar yelled.
Bart sighed.
"Bart leave him alone!" said Jenny.
"Can I wear my binkie..." Oscar had his pacifier with him.
"Uh that's going a bit far..." said Jenny.
Milhouse was nude again...
Bart winced.
"Oh (Censor beep.)" Hank swore annoyed.
Keep whining Karen...
Plot 4
Before school Lisa was miserable about global warming again.
Lisa sighed.
"Oooooh! Looks like someone has a case of the Mondays!" said Homer.
"I hate Mondays!" said Garfield.
Homer grimaced exasperated.
At school.
"Lisa Simpson, Greta Thunberg. Stop scaring everyone about how the planet is dying!" said Skinner.
"But it is dying! Global warming will melt the ice caps!" Greta Thunberg yelled.
"SHUT UP YOU PIGS!" Skinner snapped
Greta then threatened to pull Garfield's tail. Garfield used 5% of his power to wipe her out of existence.
I didn't know he was super Saiyan.
Garfield then became an eldritch abomination or Thing-like monster and threatened Jon for lasagna.
"Not even bullets can stop me now, Jon." said Garfield as a Thing or Cronenberg-like monster.
Then the fan writer behind such characters as Hank and Hank clone made random things happen, like a giant gorilla tap dancing!
Everyone, ie the kids and teachers, were confused by this madness!
"Well least we got rid of that bitch." Bart said with a grin.