January 5, 1992

Ivy had left them alone for exactly twelve minutes. In hindsight, that was eleven minutes, forty-five seconds too long, but she had really wanted to find Thomas and ask him to translate this very interesting looking spell she had found in one of the books Henry had on the high shelf. Why he insisted on putting all the good books up there was beyond her. Didn't he know that that's where all the really good spells were? This one was in some kind of ancient language she didn't recognize, and Thomas was really smart about things like that, so she had taken it to him to see if he could translate it for her. He had looked so excited his face had gone a little pale, and he had asked if he could take the paper she had written it on and get back to her. She had readily agreed, of course, and was now almost to her own compartment.

The same compartment she had left Draco and Ron in for twelve whole minutes. Perhaps not the most brilliant move in her otherwise illustrious career as a human being.

Reminding herself that this was the sort of situation Henry had told her she wasn't allowed to use Tiger in, she breathed deeply, and then entered the war zone compartment.

Well, nothing was on fire, at least. Pity.

Poor Vince and Greg. They looked so distraught. Usually they could just stand there and not even do anything and they and everyone around them would be left alone. Assuming, of course, that no one actually knew them all that well. Ron, however, did not seemed at all intimidated by the two, and they clearly had no idea what to do in this situation. Draco was obviously not helping them, since he was busy screaming at Ron, and as soon as they spotted Ivy they turned to her with pleading eyes.

"I'm back." Ivy's announcement did absolutely nothing to put a stop to the shouting match, which had reached an admittedly impressive volume at this point.

"I said, I'M BACK."

Both Draco and Ron turned to Ivy, mouths still partially open from where they had paused mid sentence.

"Hi, Ivy," they said together, before turning and glaring at each other.

"Soo… what are you talking about?"

"Nothing," Ron ground out, teeth clenched and a pout on his face that was closer to the color of his hair than it had been before.

Draco smirked at Ron, who crossed his arms in front of him, scowling. "That's right. Nothing at all."

Ivy rolled her eyes. Boys. "So basically you were arguing and Draco is winning at the moment?"

"Is not."

"Is too!"

Ivy looked at Draco with a smirk of her own, and watched him momentarily shrink in his seat a little before collecting himself and saying in his snootiest voice, "Of course I'm winning. Not that we were arguing, but still, I was winning."

"Mmhmm. And what were you not arguing about then?"

Now both Draco and Ron had pink tinged faces.

"Uh, nothing. Nothing important. Nothing to worry about," Draco said unconvincingly.

Ron nodded his enthusiastic consent.

Ivy beamed. "Great. Then perhaps you should do something else. Like maybe… Oh, I don't know. You could play chess or something? You both like it, don't you? You both keep telling me how much you like it."

The boys shot each other a suspicious look. "I'd much rather play with you," Ron said.

Draco laughed. "No, you don't. You really don't."

Curiosity momentarily trumping suspicion, Ron asked, "why not?"

Draco rolled his eyes and then smirked at Ivy. "Would you care to inform Weasley here why it would be in his best interest, no matter how pitiful that interest might be…"

"Hey!"

"…to not play chess with you?"

Ivy huffed. "I'm not that bad."

"At strategy, technically no. At actually playing the game, yes."

"I play the game."

"You sacrifice your own players because it's getting too boring."

"It's more exciting when they fight."

"My chess set hates you."

"It does not."

"It won't let me play with you anymore. Remember last time we tried? They wouldn't move out of there spots no matter what I said."

"Maybe it's broken."

"IT IS NOT BROKEN." Draco calmed himself before continuing. "Besides, it's not just my set. Blaise's set mutinied against you after one game, Daphne's set insulted you, then started insulting me because I was playing with you. Even Pucey's set objected to you after the fourth move."

"Not everyone's set hates me. Theo's set works just fine."

"I don't know what you did to Theo's set but it loves you and ignores every rule of chess anytime you ask."

Ivy smiled dreamily. "Yeah, that was a fun game."

Draco looked mildly outraged. "It was not even a game! You told your pieces to charge and they did. Don't you get it? They're not supposed to do that."

Ivy just shrugged. Draco hadn't played chess with her using Theo's set since the first time they had borrowed it. The only person that would play her using Theo's set was Theo himself, and he ended up employing the same tactics. In the end their games looked a little bit more like a gladiatorial match and less like a game of chess, wizard or otherwise, but Ivy really couldn't understand why no one seemed to enjoy it.

Ron, meanwhile, had begun to look slightly horrified at the obvious affront to the greatest game ever invented (in a non-sports category, of course), while Vince and Greg both looked like they would rather be anywhere else, if their slow movement in the direction of the door that Ivy was still standing in front of was any indication.

Draco stared at Ivy for a minute longer, one eye dangerously close to twitching.

"Um, Malfoy, would you like to play a round? I think maybe I'd rather play with you after all."

"Hi, Neville."

"Oh, hi, Ivy. How was your Christmas?"

"It was great. How was yours?"

"It was fine."

"Hi, Dean, hi Seamus."

Both boys waved to Ivy, not looking up from the game they were absorbed in.

"So, what're you doing here?" Neville asked.

"Oh well Draco and Ron started a chess game and said they didn't want me killing their pieces so I thought I'd walk around for a bit and see what everyone else was doing."

Dean coughed and Seamus made an unfortunate move resulting in some cards exploding a little closer to his face than was preferable. Neville, having by necessity grown somewhat accustomed to the antics of the Weasley twins, didn't even twitch.

"Sorry, they what?" was all Neville said in response.

"They started a round of chess. They were arguing over something and it was loud so I distracted them."

"Um, that's nice, I guess." Or a terrible idea. Neville wasn't sure which. "Are you sure you should leave them in there alone though?" A flashback to a certain duel being issued was at the front of Neville's mind.

"I'm sure they'll be fine," Ivy said, waving her hand.

"Just then Hermione burst into the compartment. "There you are," she said to Ivy, who looked at her in surprise.

"Who, me? Sorry, were you looking for me?"

"Yes. Did you know Ron is in a compartment with Malfoy?"

"Yes, they're playing chess."

"And are you sure they won't, you know, get in trouble?"

Neville was fairly certain cause trouble would be the more appropriate question.

"Well, maybe, but it's part of my new plan, you see."

"What plan?"

"Well, I'm still working on the details, but I think Draco and Ron could be friends. They just need to spend more time around each other."

Neville disagreed with all of that but kept his mouth shut.

Hermione frowned slightly. "I don't know about that…"

Ivy waved her off. "It'll be fine. But just in case, do any of you know the silencing spell?"

Hermione beamed. "Yes. It's on page 127 of…"

Neville tuned out the following conversation as Dean and Seamus resumed their game and the girls began discussing the fifth year charm. Hopefully neither felt the need to go trying it on anyone, or, more specifically, him.

Thomas Harrington, fifth year Slytherin, top of his class (not including Percy Weasley who no one had counted since third year), and prodigy of archaic languages and writing systems, did not know where he had gone wrong in his life. Perhaps it was somewhere around the, "hey, Flint, where are you going with that little first year," or maybe it was sometime closer to the "do you need any help with that, Potter?" Of course, it also could have been the "yes, I can read Sanskrit," or the "no, you have to jab your wand forward a little at the end, see?" Regardless, he was now deeply entrenched in project keep-Potter-from-accidentally-killing-someone-especially-if-that-person-is-me, an operation of his own design.

And if the spell she had brought him earlier was any indication, it was going to be a lot harder than he was prepared for.

He supposed he could always make something up. He didn't have to tell her the actual translation of the spell. He was smart, he was Slytherin, he could figure something out.

He had explained his predicament to Flint, who had helpfully replied that Thomas must not, under any circumstances, allow Potter to get hurt in any way that could affect her ability to play on the Slytherin Quidditch Team next year. Thomas had never thought he'd be able to relate to Percy Weasley in any way, but right now he understood why Weasley sometimes sought him out as a partner in Runes. He had always thought it was because they were both at the top of the class, but not he suspected it had something more to do with "no, Wood, adding that rune will not make the bludgers go faster," which was closely related to "no, Flint, adding runes to the quaffle will not make it sting on impact."

None of the other fifth years in his house seemed to understand the urgency of the situation. They only saw little Ivy Potter, first year student with a cool snake that liked their dorm room. Sure, there was the whole girl-who-lived thing, and yeah, some of the parents were still upset about the whole dark lord being vanquished by her as a baby incident, but come on. She was eleven, so obviously not a threat, and a Slytherin, so obviously not that bad.

But they hadn't seen the things he had seen.

Like the one time she had asked for help with a third year spell she was trying to learn because she was "bored." He had shown her the wand movement, and then she had cast it. Perfectly. Nonverbally. When she had noticed his face and asked if she had done it wrong, it had been all he could do to shake his head and say, "no. That's fine. Just fine."

Or the time where she had claimed boredom (he was beginning to sense a theme…), and had asked if he had any book suggestions. He had offhandedly suggested a particular book that contained certain weather related spells. How to mimic a rainbow indoors, make the lights resemble a sunset, and other nice things like that. Girls liked that sort of thing, right? Later that evening he had to explain to his head of house the first year girls dorm looked like a hurricane had blown through. Technically it was because a hurricane had, in fact, blown through the room, though thankfully Ivy had pronounced one part of the spell so the "hurricane" wasn't actually full size, but was closer to the size of a dinner plate. Still large enough to get everything wet and knock anything left in the open to the floor, but not enough to cause serious damage. He had forgotten about that part of the book.

And then there was the time…

A knock on the door roused him from his joyful reminiscing. Someone flicked the door open, and in stepped Ivy Potter for the second time today. Thomas had never been happier to be an only child. He could only imagine what it would be like to have to deal with this all the time. And again with the sympathizing with Percy Weasley. And wasn't Ivy friends with the Weasley twins? Who had failed to put a stop to that right away?

"Uh, hey Ivy, what can I do for you?"

"Hermione and I were looking at the silencing charm, and I was wondering if you could show us how to do it?"

"Sorry, you and who?"

"Hermione. Granger." Ivy jabbed a finger over her shoulder pointing towards the girl standing wide-eyed behind her. Ah. Gryffindor. First year by the looks of it, probably a muggleborn or something.

"Uh, yeah, sure." Thomas began to demonstrate the charm's movements.

"Oi, Potter. Whatcha doing here with a filthy little mudblood?"

Thomas watched both girls' reactions. The little Gryffindor looked frightened and was pressed up firmly against the wall opposite the compartment door. Ivy, on the other hand, just looked at Hyslop for a moment as if puzzled by something, then turned back to Thomas and asked, "Could you show me one more time?"

Thomas obliged her and demonstrated the complete wand motion.

"Thanks," she said cheerfully. Then she promptly turned to Hyslop, cast the charm perfectly, then proceeded to cast several additional charms nonverbally, most of which Thomas recognized, and all of which he was both confident and thankful he was not responsible for her knowing. She gave a little harumph, turned on her heel, and stalked out of the compartment.

"Don't forget I have dibs for Tuesday," Flint called out after her as she dragged her Gryffindor friend away.

Thomas glanced around the compartment. Flint seemed completely unperturbed by the entire situation, not even glancing at Hyslop. Eric Pyrites, the compartment's fourth occupant, was staring open-mouthed at the door, completely ignoring Hyslop who was frantically motioning at them, no doubt in an attempt to get someone to undo Ivy's handiwork. Unfortunately for him, it would take nearly twenty minutes before anyone bothered to pay attention to his pleas, and another forty minutes before they were finished.

"Bloody hell," Pyrites muttered as they finally undid the last hex.

Flint scoffed, Hyslop whimpered, and Thomas rubbed his hand over his face.

How had he gotten himself into this again?

"Hermione, are you okay?" Ivy hadn't stopped pulling her friend along until they were far away from the fifth year Slytherin boys, but now she wanted to make sure Hermione was alright.

Hermione nodded. "I'm okay. Are you sure you'll be alright though? Won't they try to get back at you?"

Ivy shook her head. "No. I don't think so. If he tries I'll just make his life miserable," she said with a smile.

Hermione gave her a wary look and nodded. "Well, if you're sure."

"I am," Ivy said cheerfully. "Come on, let's go tell George."

"Why are we telling George? And why not Fred and George?"

Ivy scowled. "He knows what he did."

"But I…" Ivy pulled Hermione forward again before she could inform Ivy that she didn't know why Ivy was upset with Fred.

"And so then I hexed him."

Ivy got three matching grins in response. As the unofficial third Weasley twin, Lee was bound to approve as much as George and Fred. And approve they did, giving her a warm round of applause that she graciously accepted with a bow.

"So, how is our dear little brother faring in the snake car?"

Ivy stuck out her tongue at Fred and turned to George. "You can tell the person that slightly resembles you that Ron is fine, and he and Draco are playing a game of chess." Fred stuck his tongue out at Ivy and George rolled his eyes.

"Do you think they're still playing?" Hermione asked.

"Well, we haven't head any screams so yeah, probably," Ivy said cheerfully.

"How did you manage that?" George asked.

"Oh, well they were shouting at each other about something so I distracted them by suggesting they play chess, because they both like it, and Ron said he'd rather play with me, but then Draco said he wouldn't want to play with me, which is completely unfair, I mean, it's not my fault if the chess pieces decide they don't like my methods. Anyway, they decided they'd play chess together instead, so then I went and found Neville, and then Hermione came, and then we found Thomas, and then I made Hyslop cry, and now we're here."

"Wait, did you really make him cry? I didn't see that." Hermione didn't sound particularly distraught at the prospect.

"Well, I assume I did. I'll ask Thomas tomorrow."

"Well if anyone dies before we get to Hogwarts, we'll know who was responsible," Fred teased. Ivy stuck her tongue out at him again, he responded in kind, and soon they were making a variety of faces at each other.

"Well I think it is a great way to promote interhouse unity," Hermione said.

Ivy stopped making faces for a moment to respond. "I think it'll be funny to see their faces when they realize they're actually friends."

The three boys laughed, while Hermione looked slightly put out.

January 6, 1992

Pansy stomped up to Draco, who had so far been enjoying a nice, quiet breakfast.

"She's corrupting you," Pansy huffed as she sat down and grabbed food from Draco's plate, completely ignoring his protests.

"Get your own… You know what, forget it." Draco pushed his plate over to Pansy and grabbed a different one. "Who is corrupting me?"

"Potter."

"What did Ivy do?"

Pansy rolled her eyes as she grabbed another muffin off of Draco's plate.

"The basket is right…"

"She had you playing nice with Gryffindors. The Weasley twins are bad enough, but Longbottom is basically a squib, Granger is a know-it-all mudblood, and Weasley is loud and never chews with his mouth closed."

"Why would you even know that? You can't see that from here."

"I notice things, Draco. And Potter is corrupting you."

Draco saw Pansy going for something on his new plate, and pushed the second plate over to her. "Just take it," he said, putting his face where his plate had just been.

Pansy accepted the plate cheerfully and commenced picking at all the delicious looking things left on either plate.

"Hi, Pansy." Draco looked up to see Ivy there, obviously unaware that Pansy had just been badmouthing her.

"What do you want, Potter?"

"I was wondering if you would go with me to talk to Lavender and Parvati." Pansy made a face but Ivy carried on. "They wanted to know about the hair charms we were talking about before Christmas but you know way more about that than I do."

Draco could literally see the conflict of emotions on Pansy's face.

"Fine," Pansy said finally. "But only because I am obviously the better choice to explain things like that." She gave Ivy a once over that Ivy either missed or didn't seem to care about. Probably the second one.

Ivy just grinned happily before dragging a disgruntled Pansy off the bench and away from Draco's stolen food. He began to reach for a piece of bacon left on the first plate, but Ivy reached back suddenly and grabbed it. "See you in class, Draco," she said as she pulled Pansy in the direction of the Gryffindors.

Draco huffed and wondered why it was his lot in life to have friends who insisted on eating his food. He finally gave in and grabbed a third plate, and began, once again, to enjoy a leisurely breakfast.

"Hey, are you finished with that?" He looked to see Greg eyeing his plate hopefully.

Draco sighed, wondered why him, and pushed his plate over. "All yours," he said.

Ivy watched contentedly as Pansy, Lavender, and Parvati began discussing hair with an enthusiasm that rivalled Neville and Ivy's discussions about man-eating plants.

Hermione, watching the three with a suspicious look on her face, turned to Ivy and asked, "Is this another one of your plans?"

"Yep," Ivy said proudly, noticing that Hermione was really good about keeping her eye twitch under control.

"Hey, Ivy," Ron interjected, "do you know what happened to Fred?"

Ivy frowned. "What do you mean?"

"Well, he's not here this morning."

Ivy and Hermione both turned to where George sea with Lee, the other twin noticeably absent.

"Why would Ivy know? She's not even in Gryffindor?"

Ron shrugged. "They just seem to always know where she is, so I figured maybe it went both ways."

Ivy scowled. "It doesn't. Not yet."

"O…kay… But, do you know where he went?"

"How do you know it is Fred that's gone anyway?" Hermione asked.

Ron beamed. "Well they kept trying to trick me, and I thought maybe I couldn't actually tell them apart after all, but then Ivy told me how to tell them apart for sure, and then Harry gave them a truth serum to make them tell the truth about which one was which so now they can't fool me."

"Harry?"

"Uncle Henry," Ivy explained. Hermione nodded in understanding.

"Well, I don't know, but maybe he felt the shame of his actions and decided to not show his face. Or maybe they're starting their new prank." Ivy shrugged. "Who knows."

Ron's face fell. "Another one? Wait, are they trying to get me again?"

"Not you, I don't think," Ivy said, frowning. "Mostly everyone else. They wouldn't tell me the details but I think I figured out what they're doing."

Rona and Hermione both looked at her for a moment.

"Well?" Hermione demanded.

"Oh, I can't tell you. George asked me not to."

"What about Fred?" Ron asked.

"He doesn't count."

"Well, why not?"

Ivy scowled. "He knows what he did."

With that, she turned around and walked off.

"Wait, what did he do?" Ron asked Hermione.

"I have no idea."

January 10, 1992

"Has anyone had any problems since the beginning of the new term?"

Severus was bored. He wouldn't admit it, of course, but did the staff meetings have to take so long…

"Well, I did have a new student show up in my class. I wasn't informed that anyone wanted to transfer in, but he did fine on the assessment quiz I handed out that covered the information from last term."

"Oh? And who was the student?"

Most of the staff looked curious. It wasn't usual for someone to want to transfer into Ancient Runes, after all. Usually, this was the point at which students began asking to be transferred out. Severus was also curious, but his it better than his colleagues.

"Um, let's see. Ah, here it is. Weasley. The one in third year."

"Which one, Bathsheda?" Minerva asked. "There are two of them after all."

Babbling looked confused at this. "Are there? He mentioned something about how so many people mistook him for being a twin. Does he really have a twin then?"

Great. Just what he needed at the beginning of the term. Another mess courtesy of the Weasley twins.

"Yes, there are most definitely two of them," Albus said with that stupid twinkle in his eye. Did the man practice in the mirror or something?

"I seem to have only had one in my classes this term."

"Same here."

"Me too."

Severus wanted to roll his eyes. Of course, he had only had one Weasley in his class as well, but he had taken it as the miracle it was and had not bothered to try to correct it. One down, one to go in his opinion, ignoring the fact that it was technically a required class for them until they completed their fifth year. Merlin, that was a long time away. But had no one else noticed it this entire time?

"Has anyone else had a Weasley pop up in their class new as of this term?" Minerva asked with a small frown.

Two hands were raised.

"Who has had one, and only one, of the Weasley twins in their class this week?"

The hands of every professor who taught a third year class went up, with the exception of Minerva and Filius.

"Well, it seems as if they are taking the opportunity to explore new classes. Perhaps they are trying to work together to obtain their greatest academic potential."

Seriously? Did Albus hear what came out of his mouth sometimes? And did he honestly think anyone would buy it?

By the number of heads nodding around the table, Severus was beginning to wonder how much longer he could put up with this. How could so many intelligent people act so idiotically sometimes?

Minerva cleared her throat. Thank Merlin for that woman. Her sense was the only thing standing between Severus and the loss of his sanity sometimes.

"As…optimistic an outlook as that may be, Albus, I believe this is more likely an attempt to prank the staff of this school. Bathsheda, what name did Mr. Weasley give you? His first name, that is."

Babbling glanced at her papers. "Frederick George, but he said he goes by his middle name."

"He gave me the same name," Septima added, frowning, "but he said he went by Fred."

Minerva gave a little smirk. "I think I understand the situation then. Rest assured it will be dealt with. Now, how do they appear to be doing in your classes? Do they seem to be keeping up?" She directed her questions at the three professors who had had a Weasley show up only this term, and smiled when all three indicated that there seemed to be no problems with their ability to understand the material or keep up with the subject matter.

"Very well. Thank you. I expect the rest of you will see both twins once again come Monday."

Severus groaned. Was that entirely necessary?

January 13, 1992

"What do you think McGonagall is doing over there with Weasley?"

"I don't know. Looks like she's giving him something."

"Yeah but she's smiling."

"McGonagall smiles."

"Are you sure, Cedric? Are you sure?"

"Well, everyone's got to smile sometime, right?"

Cedric received no response. After a minute his fellow Hufflepuff leaned over again and asked, "Do you suppose it had anything to do with the twins skiving off?"

"Maybe. Does it matter?"

"No. Hey, which one is it then?"

"Which one what?"

"Which one's been skiving?"

"Oh, both. They've taken turns."

"How'd you know that?"

"I can tell them apart."

"Really? How? Which one is McGonagall talking to then?"

"Oh, that's Fred. And they look a little different up close, but right now it's easy. You know Potter?"

"Uh, yeah? What's she got to do with anything?"

"Well, she's friends with the twins. Except she's mad at Fred for some reason, but no one knows why. So if you see her scowling at one of them, that's Fred. If she's happy, that's George."

"That…has got to be the strangest way to tell them apart. What happens if she gets mad at the other one instead?"

Cedric shrugged.

Out of curiosity both boys turned around and looked over the Slytherin table until they spotted Potter, who was glaring at the Gryffindor table as she ate her breakfast.

"Yep, that's Fred then alright."

"Hmm. Hey, did you hear what she did to Hyslop?"

"You think that actually happened? I mean, she's a first year," Cedric said.

His friend shrugged. "Don't know. But either way, I heard he's been avoiding her all week."

"Well, it couldn't happen to a nicer person."

"Agreed."

"Thank you for coming, Mr. Weasley. Have a seat."

George sighed and sat down, knowing this was never going to have lasted long.

"Now. I have heard a few things regarding your apparent choice of classes, as well as your absences this past week." McGonagall peered over her spectacles at him and he may or may not have shrunk in his seat just a bit. There was a reason they had both gone to her class still.

"I cannot, of course, condone the absences, but I have rearranged your schedule to accommodate your new interests. Unfortunately it seems that there is no way to fit Divination in there as well, so I'm sorry to say that will be one class you will not be able to attend."

George took the paper she handed him and looked it over. Runes? He had only meant to go to that for a week, maybe two if their plan held up that long. Now he was in the class?

"Um, Professor, really sorry about skipping class this week, but, um, Runes?"

McGonagall smirked at him. Oh, she was good. "Professor Babbling assured me you appeared to be sufficiently caught up in the course material and said she had no reason to doubt your ability to keep up with the class going forward."

Well, Runes wasn't that bad…

"Wait, Arithmancy? I didn't even go to that one."

"Then I believe you have some studying to do, Mr. Weasley."

George gulped and nodded.

"How did this go so wrong?"

"Might have been when we decided to ask Peverell for books on Ancient Runes."

His brother ignored him. "I mean, the plan was solid. Skive off classes for a couple of weeks, see how many people we can convince that there's only actually one of us, then, after we've done that for as long as possible blackmail Percy into making us polyjuice, then bribe Ron into taking it. It was foolproof!"

"Except McGonagall isn't a fool."

Fred sighed a dramatic sigh. "Too true. But she doesn't honestly expect us to take up Runes does she?"

George nodded. "And Arithmancy."

They both shuddered.

"I can't believe McGonagall outpranked us."

"We have a reputation to recover."

"Well said, brother of mine."

"We could always prank the boys annoying Ivy."

"Trying to get back on her good side then?"

"I didn't even do anything."

George knew his twin far too well to believe that and gave him a look that acknowledged that fact.

"Okay fine, I may have done a little something, but honestly, it wasn't that bad."

"Well, we could always prank her until she comes around."

"Do you think that would work?" Fred asked eagerly.

"No," George deadpanned. "Remember who her uncles are?"

Fred grimaced. He did, in fact, remember who her uncles were. While they had been ecstatic to meet their heroes, they were now slightly more wary about Ivy's ability to win a prank was should they initiate one.

"So, Hyslop then?"

George grinned. "Hyslop."

January 16, 1992

Severus resisted the urge to bang his head against the table. After years of teaching he thought he was fully prepared to tackle any problems the small idiots children could cause. The combination from hell that was the Weasley twins and Potter was seriously testing that conviction.

"And Hyslop is where exactly?"

"Hospital wing, sir."

"And he is there because…"

Harrington shifted in his seat a bit. "Well, you see, he upset Ivy on the train, and she hexed him, but we go it undone, except now he's been avoiding her, and the Weasleys decided they didn't like him upsetting her, so now they're going after him, and now some of the Hufflepuffs have taken to glaring at him anywhere he goes and now he's paranoid that Ivy has created an army of Hufflepuffs set on destroying him."

"And who does this Hufflepuff army supposedly consist of?" The last thing he needed was the upper year Hufflepuffs deciding to retaliate against his Slytherins. They were frequently underestimated in his house, but Severus knew better than to discount the house of badgers.

"The first year girls."

"The… Hyslop is having a nervous breakdown over a few Hufflepuff first years?"

"Uh, yes sir."

Severus sighed.

"And Ivy and the Weasley twins, sir," Harrington added unhelpfully.

"And what prompted this… war?"

Harrington looked distinctly uncomfortable. "Corvin called one of Ivy's friends a…mudblood."

"Who?"

"Granger, sir. I believe she's in Gryffindor."

Severus nodded. So Potter was friends with the little know-it-all. Was she determined to befriend the entire lion house?

"Is Hyslop injured or not?" He could deal with the Potter problem later. Much later. Preferably with firewhiskey on hand.

"I don't believe so, sir."

"Then what is he doing in the hospital wing for Merlin's sake?"

"He said he as sure he was going to end up there anyway, so he might as well go now."

Severus groaned. By the concerned look Harrington was giving him it had been out loud.

"We will be having a house meeting tonight. I will inform the prefects but please spread the word."

Harrington nodded and then dashed out the door as soon as Severus indicated he was free to do so.

"Draco, did you feel that?"

"What?"

"An eye twitch. It happened again."

"What did you do this time?"

"Weasley, can I speak with you for a minute?"

Percy looked behind him to see Harrington looking rather disturbed. "Uh, sure. What did you need to talk to me about?"

"Potter."

"Sorry, what?"

"Potter. Ivy. I need your help."

"I'm not going to convince Wood to give up his flying times…"

"No, not that. I need your help getting her and your brother to get along again."

"…"

"Your brother? Now of the twins? The one she's mad at?"

"I'm sorry, you want me to help you get Ivy to make up with Fred?"

"Yes! Good, you understand."

Percy did not understand. "And this is important because…"

"Because Hyslop is close to a nervous breakdown, and ever since the hurricane incident I know that I'm somehow going to be held responsible, even though I swear I didn't teach her any of those, and someone said your brothers were only doing this because Ivy was mad at one of them and they're trying to make it up to her, but I can't take this anymore!"

"Sorry, did you say hurricane?"

Harrington waved him off. "It wasn't that big of one. It was fine."

Percy wasn't sure if he wanted to know more or not.

"Anyway, will you help me?"

"Uh, sure."

"Thank you," Harrington practically shouted, before running in the same direction he had originally come from.

Percy watched him go, trying to figure out how a first year was capable of causing so much trouble for the fifth years of her house, and how Percy had gotten himself mixed up in the problems of the Slytherins.

"Oliver, I need your help."

"What? What about?"

"Ivy. Some of the Slytherins…"

"I am NOT giving up my flying times. We have a schedule. It's perfectly fair and I am not giving up a single slot."

"What? No. Not quidditch or flying or whatever. No, I need your help getting my brother to apologize to her."

"Which one? And what'd he do?"

"No idea, but apparently Hyslop nearly ended up in the hospital wing."

"Then why would we try to get him to apologize for Merlin's sake?"

"Because that's how Fred was trying to apologize."

"And that's…bad?"

Percy felt the twitch coming. "Yes, it's bad."

Oliver didn't look particularly convinced. "So whydaya need my help? Aren't they your brothers?"

"Yes," Percy said through gritted teeth. "But maybe they'll be more likely to listen to you. You're their quidditch captain."

Oliver nodded seriously. "I'll see what I can do. Can't have this affecting their practices after all."

Must everything in the Merlin forsaken school come back to quidditch? It was a silent, rhetorical question because Percy knew what the answer would be should he ask it out loud.

"…And that's why you need to apologize."

The twins looked at Oliver speculatively. "Did Percy put you up to this?"

"Yes."

"And you're agreeing because…"

"Can't let you do anything to jeopardize our quidditch prospects, and you already both went and added two more classes. Why'd the bloody hell didya do that?"

"It wasn't on purpose," George muttered.

"And you!" Oliver pointed at George, blinked, and pointed to Fred instead. "You! What'd you do to piss Ivy off anyway?"

"Nothing."

Oliver levelled a glare in Fred's direction that proved entirely ineffective.

"Look, it's not a big deal, alright?"

"It better not be. Fix this, Weasley."

The twins watched their captain stalk off muttering about Flint's tricks and "no way am I falling for that." Neither had any idea what he meant by that.

Ivy was still glaring at…well, Draco supposed it was Fred. Her being mad at one of the twins sure was making it easier to tell them apart. Most of the student body was watching the interaction with poorly disguised interest. Draco wasn't even trying to disguise his own interest. They were finally going to learn what had caused the fallout.

"I'm sorry I put raisins in your ice cream."

That was it? Everyone had been making a huge deal over some raisins?

"And I'm sorry I said they were chocolate chips."

Ivy's glare dissipated, and several grumblings were heard, probably from people who had been expecting or maybe hoping, for something a little more… dramatic.

"You're forgiven," Ivy said with a smile, and not even thirty seconds later she and Weasley were deep in conversation, laughing over something as if they hadn't ever been at odds.

If that was how Ivy reacted to raisins, Draco determined to never, ever, get on her bad side. Of course, Hyslop was another argument in favor of that decision. He was fairly certain the house meeting tonight had something to do with that. He really hoped Ivy didn't get into too much trouble. He also hoped she never overheard Pansy call Granger a… He glanced around. Better to just not think it. He liked his limbs intact, thank you very much.

"Furthermore, I would advise you to each think carefully before so blatantly insulting members of the other houses, particularly in front of those with connections who might take particular offense."

He knew literally every Slytherin assembled in the common room knew exactly what he was saying. Make Potter mad at your own risk, because he was too tired to deal with this right now. And also, remember her guardian is that one powerful Lord that no one knows very much about except that oh yes he's a parselmouth and may or may not have given his adopted child a venomous snake and taught her dangerous hexes and curses.

"Potter, stay behind."

The other students shuffled off, a few giving Potter wary looks. He saw Flint pick up a snake that must be Potter's and level a glare at Hyslop, who shuddered and darted off in another direction.

He looked down at Potter, who, somehow, had managed to keep a look of perfect innocence throughout the entire house meeting.

"Potter, in the future, please come to me or to another professor, or to a prefect if you have an issue with another student."

"Okay," she said far too cheerfully. Merlin, maybe she should have been a Hufflepuff. Then Severus remembered Hyslop's paranoid ramblings about her building a Hufflepuff army and thought that maybe the sorting hat had done the Wizarding world a favor.

"As there was no evidence of your… annoyance with Hyslop, there will be no punishment or further talk of this. And five points to Slytherin."

"What for?" She said, tilting her head to one side.

"For impressive spellwork," Severus said with a single raised eyebrow.

Potter beamed up at him and skipped off towards the girls dorm rooms.

He needed a drink now, choosing to ignore the fact that he might have encouraged her more than anything. Still, the fact that she had left so evidence behind was impressive, and things were, for the most part, a little calmer between Gryffindor and Slytherin right now, aside from this whole incident, of course. Still, nobody had died, Hyslop, despite his newfound paranoia of tiny Hufflepuffs, would be just fine, and no one had even accused his Slytherins of acting maliciously. Even better, Potter and the Weasley brat number nine, or whatever one he was on now, had finally made up, thus bringing the escalating conflict to a blessed end.

"So, Corvin," Marcus said, drawling out the other boy's name. "Seems you learned your lesson about Potter."

Hyslop gulped. "Don't insult her friends?"

"NO, you idiot. DON'T DISTRACT HER FROM QUIDDITCH! She missed our flying appointment yesterday because she was too busy glaring at Weasley who was too busy trying to make it up to her by going after you to notice it wasn't working."

"Wait, how is this my fault? Those menaces nearly landed me in the hospital wing!"

"You were turning purple, not bloody well dying. Besides, yOU BLOODY WELL STARTED IT!"

At that moment the self-preservation instincts on one Corvin Hyslop kicked in, and he decided against further antagonizing the Quidditch Captain who made up for his lack of height relative to Corvin with sheer muscle mass. Also, he was holding Potter's snake, who had recently been coming to the fifth year boys' dorm room with its usual frequency, but had also been demonstrating a distinct dislike of Corvin in particular.

"Alright, alright, I'll go apologize," Corvin grumbled out, before seeing the look on Marcus's face and deciding now was as good a time as any.

"So I'm sorry for calling your friend a… erm, for calling her that."

Ivy looked at her second least favorite person at Hogwarts. Claridge had been mean to Tracey again so he currently held the number one spot.

"It's not me you have to apologize to, you know."

Hyslop looked like he had swallowed a lemon. "Fine," he finally spat out.

"And I'm sorry I made it feel like your socks were on fire." She wasn't really sorry, but she thought she should at least put forth the effort since he was trying so hard.

An eye twitch was all she got in response. She should keep better track of these. That had to be at least the ninth one today.

January 19, 1992

Hermione watched nervously as the fifth year Slytherin approached the Gryffindor table. At least she was relatively safe here, among so many witnesses and a head table full of professors eyeing the situation with unabashed curiosity.

"I'd like to apologize, Granger, for calling you a… for referring to you in…the way I did."

"Apology accepted," she managed to squeak out. Without further ado Hyslop trend on his heel and stalked back over to the Slytherin table. She glanced over and saw Ivy, who was giving her a grin and a thumbs up. She had been worried that Ivy would get in trouble, but clearly, that was not the case. Hopefully, this would be the end of that. She really didn't like the fact that so many people were still staring in her direction. A few of the older Gryffindors were looking at her in near shock, and a few of the other first years were looking at her in awe. She rather wished they would just look somewhere else.

"How'd she do it?"

Draco looked up at Pansy. "Who did what?"

"Potter. How did she make Hyslop apologize? And why'd he go apologize anyway? All he did was call Granger a mu–"

Draco put his hand over Pansy's mouth quickly to prevent her from saying the newly forbidden word. "Don't say it, Pansy."

Pansy rolled her eyes and shoved Draco's hand away. "Why not? You're not seriously scared of Potter, are you? I thought you were supposed to be friends."

"We don't use that term, Miss Parkinson," a voice from behind them said.

Pansy squeaked as they turned to see one of the sixth year prefects standing there.

"Why not?" Pansy blurted out before Draco could stop her.

"Because it is beneath us as Slytherins, who ought to be setting an example of manners and behaviours becoming the proper wizards and witches we claim to be."

Pansy looked momentarily horrified but Draco thought it was a valid argument. At least maybe they'd be able to prevent another fiasco.

"Do you think he bought it?"

"Bought what?"

"What I said in the letter to."

"Oh, the one to Lord Deverill about your stance on muggleborns?"

"Yeah, that one."

Sirius shrugged. "No idea. What'd you say again?"

"Well I wasn't sure what to say, so I just made it up as I went, said something about acting like proper wizards and such and how the term mudblood was beneath me. I tried to sound as stuck up as possible."

Sirius laughed. "Harry, you basically just insulted the pride of any pureblood witch or wizard who uses that term. I'm pretty sure they're going to buy it."

"What? They? What do you mean?"

"What, you don't think he's going to keep it to himself, do you?"

Harry was about to say that yes, that's exactly what he thought, but Sirius continued.

"Come on, Deverill just got a letter from Lord Peverell, Britain's most eligible bachelor and favorite gossip topic. Of course he's going to show it off to everyone. Have you written letters to other members of the Wizengamot?"

"No," Harry grumbled.

Sirius waved his hand, indicating the complete validation of his statement. "He's going to show it off to anyone he can, because now he knows something about you that the rest of them don't."

"Is that why the Daily Prophet printed that I am a Parselmouth?" Harry didn't bother waiting for a response and instead groaned. "I'm going to get dragged to the Wizengamot at some point, aren't I."

"Yep," Sirius said, entirely to cheerfully.

"Well, if I go, you're coming with me."

Sirius's face immediately fell. "Well, on second thought, it's not like there's any rush…"