September 13, 1992
Lucius scowled as he read the latest note from one of his sources that no one needed to know about. Absolutely nothing had been uncovered regarding Lockhart, and this would most certainly not do. It was nearly two weeks into the school year and he still did not possess a shred of evidence to use against Dumbledore's latest excuse for a professor, and although Severus had assured him that Lockhart was being watched closely, he would still much rather have the situation taken care of sooner than later. Despite the lack of evidence, he did not find himself doubting Black or Peverell at all. If they said there was reason to be concerned, he found himself surprisingly willing to believe it.
So where was the evidence? Lucius doubted whether any wizard was capable of leaving absolutely no trail behind, especially for one as acclaimed as Lockhart, regardless of how fantastical his exploits sounded. Unless…
Oh, and wouldn't that just be an absolute scandal. The good kind that doesn't involve you. What if Lockhart had been less than truthful in his stories? It would certainly explain how there did not appear to be any witnesses to any of his supposed adventures, and now that he thought about it, Peverell had hinted as much.
He sat down to respond to his sources that no, he has absolutely no idea who you are talking about, Mr. Auror.
September 16, 1992
Harry handed Sirius the letter from Malfoy. "Tell me what you think?"
Sirius skimmed over it and choked a little as he got to the end. "Is he really…"
"Yep. Seems like it."
"How did he even…"
"No idea."
"And we're going to…"
"I don't see why not."
Sirius puffed his cheeks and then exhaled. "Well, I guess that's one way to go about it."
Harry huffed a dry laugh. "Yeah, you could say that."
"It's a pity we didn't think of it ourselves."
Harry gave Sirius a look. "Because we both love the Daily Prophet so much."
"Seventh. But you know what? That's not important right now."
Harry didn't comment, though he dearly wanted to.
"What is important is that we may have another way to get Lockhart out of there."
"Yes, I think that was Lucius's intention when he decided to destroy Lockhart's reputation and call his credentials into question."
Sirius didn't acknowledge Harry's sarcasm and simply continued speaking. "If people begin to doubt Lockhart, then they'll place him under greater scrutiny, and that could reveal enough to get him ousted from Hogwarts."
"Again, pretty sure that was Lucius's plan."
"So now we need to make a plan."
"Or we could just go along with Lucius's plan."
"We're going to need to get a few reporters on our side."
"Like the ones Lucius mentions here? See, paragraph three."
"And some credible-ish sources to disparage his character, abilities, all that."
"Oh look, here's a complete list on page two. Would you look at that."
"Somehow we need to get some kind of hard evidence. Photo, preferably."
"Like the four Lucius included here?"
"I don't know how we'll do it…"
"Since Lucius already did."
"But somehow we'll manage."
Harry stared at Sirius. "You really don't want to have to work with Lucius, do you."
"Whatever gave you that completely accurate and entirely correct idea?"
Harry sighed at the sight of Sirius and Lucius staring each other down. Glaring each other down more like it.
He cleared his throat. Neither so much as twitched.
He tried again. Still nothing.
Finally, deciding that this was going to get them nowhere, he reasoned that someone had to be the adult in this situation, so he left to go see if he could find Narcissa. This was going to be a long night.
September 17, 1992
"What do you think?" Harry, Sirius, and Lucius all watched Narcissa and Sabrina closely for any reaction to the plan that was, in their humble opinion, brilliant.
The ladies nodded politely but without the enthusiasm they were hoping for.
"What's wrong with it?" Sirius enquired, definitely not put out at the lack of compliments on Lucius's their plan.
"Oh, it's fine," Sabrina reassured them. "It's just that it lacks a little…" She looked at Narcissa.
"Devastation?" Narcissa suggested.
Sabrina nodded. "Yes. I mean, I'm sure this would be sufficient, but it's not nearly as devastating as would be preferable."
"I agree," Narcissa said. "If you are going to tear someone apart in the press it really ought to be so much more…"
"Calamitous," Sabrina offered.
The three men looked at them, each wondering exactly how their plan could possibly be made even more devastating to Lockhart.
An hour later they found out, and each silently swore to never get on the bad side of these two.
September 20, 1992
Lucius put down his morning paper and swore. He ran to the floo, tossed some powder in and called out the address, only realizing that he was forgetting something when he was forcibly thrown back. Oh, right. No one could actually floo themselves into Peverell's home without his inviting them in first. Hastily rectifying that mistake, he sent a quick message off to Peverell requesting admittance. A reply was soon received and he once again made his way to the floo.
"So, what with you looking so chipper this morning?" Sirius asked a scowling Lucius, who thrust him that morning's edition of the Daily Prophet.
Sirius let loose a rather creative string of curses.
"That one's new," Harry remarked jokingly as he came into the room. Catching sight of Lucius he asked, "So what's going on?"
Sirius handed him the newspaper.
Harry swore.
On the front page, in big, bold letters was the headline : HOGWARTS PROFESSOR MISSING
"Alright, so what do we do now?"
"No idea."
"Do you think he's dead?"
"Or maybe he just ran away?"
"How do we confirm this?"
"I'm not trusting any report until there's a body."
"Why wasn't the board of governors informed of this right away?"
"He's not an animagus, is he?"
"You didn't wake up with an extra peacock in your yard, did you Malfoy?"
Lucius scowled at Sirius who grinned.
"Guys, pay attention," Harry said.
"Wait, does this mean we don't get to use the blackmail folder?"
Lucius and Harry each stared at Sirius for a moment.
"He does realize it's not actually blackmail, right?" Lucius asked, leaning over to Harry.
"Yeah," Harry replied, "he just thought it sounded cooler."
"Of course he did," Lucius muttered, ignoring the voice in his head that said it was, in fact, cooler.
"So how do you think this happened?" Harry asked a little louder.
Two days earlier
§Why iss everyone bussy?§ Ivy asked.
Tiger made a little sound indicating either that everyone was stupid or he didn't care. Or possibly both. §Why do you need ssomeone anyway? I am perfectly acsceptable company,§ he insisted.
§Of course you are,§ Ivy assured him, §but I'm ssupossed to have ssomeone elsse with me when I go and Thomass made me promisse not to forget again.§
§Then go find him. He'ss not sso botherssome.§
§He'ss sstudying.§
§Why doess he have to do ssomething ass ssilly ass that? He already heard it onsce.§
"Hey Terence, could you go with me to Lockhart's office? Everyone else is busy. It'll be fast, I promise."
Terence shrugged and followed the smallest member of the quidditch team out of the common room. He was done with his homework already so it wasn't like he had anything better to do.
"So why do you need to go to Lockhart's office?"
"I wanted to ask him to sign Hermione's books. It's her birthday tomorrow."
Terence made a face and Ivy laughed. "I know, but she really likes him for some reason."
Terence continued making a face that was a combination of horror and disbelief all the way until they arrived at the professor's door.
"Oh of course I'd be happy to sign them. Anything for a fan such as yourself."
Terence scowled at the professor but was out of his line of sight so wasn't noticed except by Ivy, who rolled her eyes.
As the professor ran out the door to grab his "special autograph quill," Terence made a gagging sound and Ivy laughed.
"You sure you don't want one too?"
He scowled.
Oh, thiss iss nisce, Tiger thought. Sso many lovely ssmellss… And are thosse eggss I ssmell?
He slithered out of Ivy's robe pocket and went, unnoticed, over to the enticing scent.
"Thank you, Professor," Icy said cheerfully, dragging a grumpy Terence behind her as they left. "See, that wasn't so bad."
Terence felt very much otherwise.
As Tiger finished up the last of the eggs that had been sitting there so invitingly in a secure box on the fourth shelf, he heard the silly man who lived here start to mutter. Then he heard his speaker's name and began paying closer attention. What did that silly man want with his speaker? He didn't know what all those things meant. Maybe the big mother snake knew. She was very wise.
§Don't you worry about a thing, little hatchling. Mother will take care of everything.§
Tiger slithered away, quite content that the big mother snake knew what to do. She would look out for his little speaker.
"Hey Draco, did you hear something?"
"What? Where?"
"Just now? It sounded like it was coming from the over here."
"That's just a wall."
"Well, maybe there's something on the other side of it."
"Pretty sure there's not."
Ivy shrugged. "Maybe it was nothing."
"Can we please get back to this transfiguration essay now?"
"Why are you so eager to finish?"
"Because I was this close to beating Granger last time."
Ivy rolled her eyes at her friend and turned her attention back to the essay.
September 19, 1992
"Did you hear? Professor Lockhart is missing."
"Wait, really? Where'd you hear that?"
"It's all over the school! No one had seen him all day."
"But it's Saturday. Are you sure he didn't just leave the castle?"
"No, he was supposed to host a question and answer session about his latest book, but he never showed up."
"Maybe he forgot?"
"He reminded us in class yesterday. Nine times."
"Okay, point. But are you positive he's missing?"
"Yes. Now shush. I have to finish writing to my uncle."
"You're the one that brought this up. And which one, the reporter?"
"That's the one."
"What're you writing him for?"
"He always said to write to him if anything interesting happens."
"How is one professor not showing up today something interesting?"
"Because it's Lockhart."
"That's a terrible reason."
"It's still the most interesting thing that's happened all year."
"We haven't even been here three weeks."
"I know that, but it's still the only interesting thing that's happened so far."
September 20, 1992
§What do you have there? It ssmellss like other sspeaker.§
Ivy laughed. §It'ss a letter from Henry,§ she said.
§Doess he have anything interessting to ssay or iss it jusst another boring sset of wordss?§
§Well, he'ss assking about the professsor that went misssing.§
§Ssilly man?§
§Are of Trascey'ss namess going to sstick?§ Ivy teased
§Of coursse. Sshe hass ssuch good oness.§
Ivy laughed again. §Yess sshe doess. And yess, it'ss ssilly man. No one hass sseen him for two whole dayss.§
§Well, big mother ssnake did ssay sshe would take care of it.§
§Take care of what?§
Tiger didn't respond, instead finding a warm spot to curl up in.
§Tiger, what did sshe ssay?§
She received no response.
§Tiger…§
§Sshussh, little sspeaker. My chickenss need to ssettle.§
September 21, 1992
"Okay, I think we can safely say Lockhart is dead."
"What? How do you know?"
"Umm… the details aren't really that important…"
Sirius, Lucius, and Remus all gave Harry a look. They were teaming up against him and it was terrible.
"See, I got this letter from Ivy…"
"Harry…"
"And I had asked her about Lockhart…"
"Harry…"
"And there's a slight possibility that he was, um, disposed of by Slytherin's monster."
Several awkward seconds of silence followed.
"Why on earth would she know that?" Lucius asked. "Or think that? Slytherin's monster? Are you sure that's even real?"
"Yes," came the simultaneous replies from Harry, Sirius, and Remus.
Lucius's eye twitched but he didn't say anything further.
"Great, so Lockhart is a Basilisk snack and…"
"WHAT?"
Harry and Remus shot a glare at Sirius.
"THERE'S A BASILISK AT HOGWARTS?"
"No?"
Lucius joined Harry and Remus in glaring at Sirius.
"Would it help if I said everything is under control?"
"No," came the triple response.
Sirius looked a little guilty but then seemed to realize something. "Hey, how would Ivy know there was a basilisk at Hogwarts anyway?"
Sirius and Remus both turned to stare at Harry, whose turn it now was to look sheepish. Lucius also looked his way with a single eyebrow raised.
"I think some explanations are in order," Lucius said pointedly, his tone indicating that it was not a suggestion.
The four men took their seats again, Remus muttering something about leaving them alone for a week.
Harry and Sirius explained as best they could to Lucius the situation with the basilisk at the school without revealing any sensitive details about Harry's origins. Remus seemed content to let the two handle the explanation on their own, returning their occasional looks for help with a look that clearly said "this is your mess."
When they reached the conclusion of their account Lucius sat for a moment looking rather contemplative.
"So, the girl-who-lived is a parselmouth. I take it that is not a widely known fact."
Harry and Sirius looked frantically to Remus, who just mouthed "your mess."
"How did he even figure that out?"
"Merlin, I can't believe you told Ivy about the basilisk."
"It was an impulsive decision, Sirius. Besides, it all worked out."
"Yeah, except for the fact that Lucius Malfoy figured out that Ivy is a parselmouth."
"It could be worse."
Sirius went to argue something or other but Remus put a stop to it. "Enough," he said. "Harry, I can't believe you told Ivy about the basilisk, and Sirius, I can't believe you blabbed about it in front of Lucius."
One week. Remus had left them for one week. That was the last time he left them alone for anything not full moon related, and even then, Harry was a competent wizard and Sirius could change with him. So no. They were not going to left unsupervised ever. He needed to find a job closer to home…
"Hey, just a thought, but what happens now?"
Remus looked up at Harry and noticed Sirius doing the same.
Harry shifted a bit in his seat. "I just mean, Lockhart was there the entire year before. And this time it's only a couple weeks into the year, so who takes over now?"
An idea formed in Remus's mind. It took about four seconds but he was confident it was a solid plan. "I do."
Sirius spun his head around and looked at him. "What?"
"I do. I go teach. I don't think it'd be that hard to get Dumbledore to hire me, and that way I can keep an eye on things there." But not not these two. Oh well. It'd probably be fine.
"But… It's a whole year early. What about next year?"
Remus shrugged. "What guarantee do we have that I'd be hired next year anyway? No Sirius in Azkaban means no Sirius escaping Azkaban, so no interest on Dumbledore's part to get me at Hogwarts. But right now he might be interested, especially if I express concern over Ivy's safety, and make it sound like I'll go along with his ideas."
"I don't know Moony…"
"How would you convince him of that?"
"I have my ways," he said, not giving any other details.
Neither of them questioned him further.
September 24, 1992
"That was fast."
Sirius nodded in agreement. "How'd you manage that, Moony?"
Remus shuddered. "Don't ask."
"O…kay? So, are you already to go be the best defense teacher Hogwarts ever had?"
Remus nodded. "Yeah. Say, would you two mind going over the timeline again? I just want to make sure I don't miss anything."
"No, no, keep going."
"But that's… the entire year?"
"I know, but keep going."
"Alright. So summer after second year…"
"Okay now talk me through fourth year."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes."
Harry shrugged and continued talking.
"And he was in Crouch's house that whole time?"
"Yeah, why?"
"So, you all ready to go?"
Remus looked up at Sirius. "Oh, yeah. Just have one little thing to take care of before I go."
September 26, 1992
"Remus… who is that?"
"I think you know."
"Can I ask why he's in my house?"
"Yes."
Harry looked at Remus warily. "Okay… so why is Barty Crouch Jr. standing in my house?"
"Glad you asked. Barty, this is Lord Peverell. Say hello."
Crouch glared at Remus and then at Harry, a silencing charm, muggle gag, body bind, and ropes for good measure preventing him from doing much else.
Harry's eye twitched. "SIRIUS," he called out, his eye never leaving the glaring Barty Crouch Jr standing in front of him.
"So let me get this straight. You want us to look after him. Crouch. Death eater, crazy person Crouch."
"Yes."
Harry's eye twitched for the forty second time that day. "Great. Glad we cleared that up. Now, ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR BLOODY MIND?"
Remus looked far too calm for this. "I'm sure you two will be fine."
"At the risk of repeating myself for the seventeenth time, why?"
"Because no one deserves that," Remus replied, his voice betraying no emotion even though the pain was evident in his face.
Harry deflated, and next to him, Sirius put his head in his hands. Neither of them could really argue against that. Just then a pop sounded behind Sirius and they both whirled around to face the intruder.
"Oh, and this is Winky," Remus added calmly. "She'll be staying with you as well."
Harry groaned and Sirius's face lit up with what was probably a terrible idea.
"I'll be right back," he said.
Sirius returned a short time later with a scowling Kreacher in tow.
Harry stared at him for a moment. "Why."
Sirius grinned.
This was not how Harry had envisioned his day going. It was Saturday, meaning it was one of the busier days in the Alley, meaning it was the perfect day to stay home and engage in such important activities as flying, reading some parenting books, or writing to Ivy. Not reluctantly acquiring two house elves (sorry Hermione, he thought, cringing), or an insane ex-death eater who tried to kill you in a previous world.
And also, no, he did not have any residual trauma, Sirius. He was perfectly fine. It was just that he didn't really want to deal with… this. He mentally gestured to everything.
And now Remus was leaving. At first he had been excited that Remus was going to Hogwarts, but now he thought it was the worst idea anyone had every thought of in the history of ever. How Remus leave him. He was the one who needed Remus. Ivy had Percy, and those other sixth years that she always talked about, and all her friends in second year, and Luna, and Fred and George, and Tiger, and now the basilisk apparently and… Oh yes, Harry could see where Remus might be needed at some point.
Fiiiine. Still didn't mean he had to like it.
September 28, 1992
Of all the terrible Mondays that had ever been, this was the worst. Severus glared down the row of seats at the third worst person Dumbledore could have possibly chosen as the new defense professor. The first, of course, was Black, since he was a terrible human being. The second was Narcissa, because there was no way he would survive her matchmaking attempts if he had to deal with her year round, and the third was sitting a few seats down from him. Remus Lupin. What was Dumbledore thinking?
No, don't answer that. It would probably be unpleasant.
But still, Lupin? Was there really no one else available? Although, considering how long the last one lasted he had to admit, if only to himself, that there might not have been a lot of options.
And hadn't Lupin seemed opposed to the headmaster the last time Severus had (unfortunately) encountered him? So why the change? Unless there wasn't a change… So if Dumbledore hadn't convinced Lupin to come, who…
Peverell. As with everything else lately, it all came back to Peverell. It made perfect sense, really. Peverell plants suspicions regarding the new professor, and, whether real or not (though Severus was inclined to believe them), limits the amount of sympathy the professor receives once he is disposed of. It was a solid plan, really, to make sure fewer people were interested in finding out what happened to the man, if, indeed, he had had anything to do with it.
Severus's gut was telling him that no, Peverell wasn't directly involved in Lockhart's disappearance, but it wasn't a possibility he was willing to discount entirely at the moment.
So once the other professor was gotten rid of, Peverell was presented with the perfect opportunity to get his own man hired. So why go through all this trouble? Why not simply get Lupin hired from the beginning? Peverell certainly had enough influence to get something like that done.
Unless he hadn't had a need until now…
So what could have changed?
Severus's mind circled back to the letter he had received from Lord Peverell shortly before the beginning of the term. Perhaps that was the change? He recalled Lucius's account of the bookstore incident. Yes, that had to be it.
Well, regardless of the reasons or circumstances leading up to this, Lupin was here now, and Severus would not let an opportunity to learn more about Peverell go to waste.
Which meant interacting with Lupin…. *sigh*
October 1, 1992
"This isn't working."
Sirius gave Harry a really-I-had-absolutely-no-idea-please-do-tell-me-more look.
"We need to do something about this."
Sirius gave Harry the look once more for emphasis.
"We need a plan."
Once more, for kicks and giggles.
"Well?"
Sirius loved Harry, he really did. But why did he have to be the adult here? As eager as he was to get crazy-mc-death-eater over there to shut up for two seconds about the dark lord and how he was going to come rescue him, he was really hoping to avoid having to deal with this situation directly. Or at all. Not at all would be nice.
"I'm sure you'll think of something." Sirius stood to leave Harry to his planning, but Harry stopped him.
"Oh no you don't," Harry said, putting a hand against Sirius's chest and pushing him back into his seat. "If I have to deal with Kreacher you can help me deal with baby-daddy-issues over there."
Sirius opened his mouth to protest but a glare from Harry silenced him before he could begin.
And then a thought struck. A brilliant, beautiful thought. Sirius, he thought to himself, you are a genius.
Harry watched as Sirius left the room with growing dread. That was Sirius's I-have-an-idea face, which often correlated with the I-have-an-idea-that-is-probably-going-to-end-in-disaster face.
Disaster.
Sirius whistled to himself. This was the best plan he had had in months. Absolutely brilliant, and he was positive there was absolutely nothing that could possibly go wrong.
Entering the makeshift keep-a-crazy-death-eater-contained room that they were not calling a dungeon on principle (except in his mind on occasion when
Crouch got really annoying), he called out to the room's glaring occupant. "How are you doing there, Crouch? Come on, let's take a little walk outside."
"Sirius… Where are you going with Crouch?"
"We're just going on a little walk."
Harry kept a close eye on the two as they made their way to the back door, one whistling cheerfully and one scowling the entire way. "No murder in the backyard," he called out, just as they were leaving.
There. That should take care of it.
"Alright, Crouch. Here's the deal. That guy in there, Lord Peverell? Defeated the dark lord. Did him in. Gone. And now he got you out."
Technically Remus had, and Harry didn't want anything to do with Crouch, but that wasn't important right now.
"And you know what? No one even knows. He did it without batting an eye or drawing attention at all. Just went in there and BAM! One dark lord gone."
It was best to stick with simple explanations at times.
"And not only is he Lord Peverell, but he's also Lord Slytherin."
Crouch's head shot up at that and although he was still glaring Sirius could detect a hint of interest. Now they were getting somewhere.
"Oh yeah. He's Lord Slytherin alright. The real one. So much better than that upstart wannabe."
The shock in Crouch's face at such a pronouncement was a memory Sirius would treasure forever.
"So obviously he's a much better person to follow than old Moldyshorts."
Crouch didn't even look appalled by that last statement, Sirius thought with a satisfied smirk.
October 3, 1992
"What. Did. You. Do."
Sirius looked at Harry with perfect innocence. "Who, me? Why, I have no idea what you're talking about. Did I do something? Hmm, let me think. Oh, that's right. I just solved our problem. You're welcome by the way."
Harry's face conveyed many emotions at the moment, but Sirius couldn't help but feel that the gratitude was seriously lacking. Ha. Serious. Like… No, he got it. Moving on.
"What did you do to him?"
"What makes you think I did anything?"
Harry's eye twitched. Sirius could agree with Ivy. It was sort of amusing to see.
"He's been following me around like a lovesick puppy for two days and you want me to believe that you had nothing to do with it?"
"And have you heard him mention Voldie once since then? I don't think so. So again, you're welcome."
Harry's eye twitched again.
He had a minion. He had a bloody ex-death eater minion, and Sirius saw absolutely nothing wrong with this. How had his life come to this?
No, don't answer that. He didn't need to think about it any more.
Really it all boiled down to that fact that Fate hated him and being the so-called Master of Death had done absolutely nothing to change that. Some good that was.
And now, thanks to Remus and Sirius, Harry was stuck with Barty Crouch Jr. of all people. And what was he supposed to do with him? Had anyone thought that through? No. They had just flung a crazed ex-death eater with major daddy issues and hero worship at him and expected him to somehow figure a way through this mess.
Well, there wasn't really any other option…
He couldn't very well take Barty out in public, at least not right now, and if he was ever going to be able to he would need to get Barty a new name, identity, make sure he wasn't recognized by anyone and…
That meant goblins.
Oh, Sirius was seriously going to get it and don't you even say it.
"Hey Barty, come here for a second. I have something I want to talk to you about."
October 4, 1992
"Haaaarrrrrrrrryyyy….."
Harry grinned at Sirius's wail, and gave Barty a mock salute on his way out the door which was returned with a grin. Oh yes, maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all.
Harry tapped his finger against his leg nervously. It was always a bit of a toss-up when it came to dealing with the goblins. Encounters with them could either be uncomfortable or downright terrifying, and Harry was sincerely hoping for the former this morning.
"Ah, Lord Peverell, how can Gringotts assist you today?"
Harry took a deep breath. It was go time.
Something was suspicious. At first, the goblins hadn't looked particularly happy with Harry's request, which ordinarily could be considered a good thing, but in this particular instance did not fill Harry with any measure of comfort. Instead, they had appeared to be rather disappointed in the reason for his visit. Were they expecting something else?
But now they were happy (*shudder*) again. So what was going on? Definitely suspicious.
"Alright, here you are. A complete identity for one…" The goblin peered at the top document. "Barton Varinius Parry."
Harry accepted the stack of documents, wondering if this was really going to work.
"As per your request, a limited access account has been opened in his name, with you as controller."
Harry nodded.
"Also included there are academic records and supporting documents that will all be available per request through the appropriate ministry channels. Anything else?"
Harry shook his head, deciding it was better to leave quickly before something could happen.
The goblin led him out to the main lobby, which was a little unusual since he was usually able to show himself out at this point, but at least he was almost out.
"Have a very pleasant day, Lord Peverell-Slytherin."
Harry was sure every witch and wizard for a mile around could hear his panicked breathing. So that's what the goblins were up to today.
Harry swore and apparated straight from the lobby, not bothering to walk the rest of the way out.