December 17, 1992

"Hey Sirius, have you seen Barty any…"

Sirius watched in horror as a flash of light burst right above Harry's head, followed quickly by a loud thunk. Harry had just been knocked out by the largest book Sirius had ever laid eyes on. The fact that it had appeared mysteriously in a flash of light was also somewhat concerning.

Harry awoke with a pounding headache and an audible groan. Who had let a bludger into the house?

Slowly he sat up, only to find himself being forcibly returned to his previous position by an irate elf.

"Uh, hi Winky. What's going on?" His mistake was trying to sit up once more as he asked.

Winky glared him down until he relented and laid back down, and after a minute she must have been satisfied that he was not going to try to escape again because she finally began explaining what had happened, not that her explanation made much sense. A book fell out of the ceiling? And Sirius had tried to get him wet?

Eventually, he gave up and asked her to go find Sirius.

When Sirius arrived he looked equal parts nervous and relieved, and after Harry assured him that he was okay, Sirius too began to explain.

His explanation was not much better.

"So let me get this straight. There was a light…"

Sirius nodded.

"And a book appeared in midair, crashed onto my head, knocked me out…"

Sirius continued nodding along.

"You tried to wake me by shooting water at me, Winky made you stop, I was left unconscious because I wasn't getting enough sleep, Barty is downstairs reading the mysterious book, I could have been dying, and…"

"Wait, I thought you said you couldn't die?" Sirius asked, frowning.

"That's the part you focus… Never mind. I said I wasn't sure, and point is I could have been. Anyway, did I leave anything out?"

Sirius shook his head.

"Great," Harry muttered. "And now I'm stuck here because…"

"Because Winky said so."

"Uh-huh. And you started listening to her when?"

Sirius fidgeted in place and Harry finally burst out laughing.

"Merlin, you're scared of her, aren't you."

Sirius scowled. "Of course I am. Have you seen her angry?"

Harry grinned. "Nope."

Sirius muttered something about how Harry managed that and Harry grinned some more.

"I guess it's just my natural charm or…"

Sirius threw a pillow at his head which shut him up.

"Master Fleabags will stop throwing things at injured Master Deathy RIGHT NOW," Winky said from the doorway she had suddenly reappeared in.

Harry was fairly certain his howls of laughter at the sight of Sirius running out of the room at a record pace could be heard all the way at Hogwarts.

Then Winky's glare leveled on him and he realized Sirius might actually have had the right idea…

When Harry was finally let out of his own bedroom he decided he should probably investigate what had caused the accident in the first place.

That eventually led him to Barty, who was reading… oh yes, Harry could see how that would have knocked him out. Suddenly being knocked unconscious by a book of all things didn't sound quite so lame.

"So, you're from another dimension then, huh," Barty said before Harry could say a thing.

And now Harry didn't exactly know what to say.

"I was thinking time traveller myself, but this actually makes a lot more sense if you think about it."

Harry did not want to think about it.

"That means you've been here, what, four, five years maybe?"

"Three and a half," Harry said, immediately regretting it. He wasn't supposed to be confirming this for Barty.

Barty merely hmmed, apparently not at all uneasy about the fact that Harry was from a different universe.

Harry decided he didn't want to know how Barty had come to any of those conclusions really, and a change of topic seemed hugely appropriate at the moment.

"So, what's that you're reading?"

"Oh this?" Barty looked up from the massive tome. "Something one of your friends put together for you by the looks of it. Haven't made it far yet. Should make for some interesting reading though. There's this whole section on How-To-Be-A-Dark-Lord."

"There's a what?"

Harry snatched the book away from Barty, a "Merlin, that's heavy," mumbled under his breath as he did so.

A Guide to Your Interdimensional Travel Experience was printed in beautiful lettering across the cover, and in small, neat letters at the bottom was printed compiled by Hermione Granger.

Harry cried.

It was nearly dinner time and between the three of them they had still only managed to look into a tiny portion of the massive book. It was like the book had been made into a version of Hermione's bag from when they were on the run. It never ended. Okay, so technically it had an "end," but Harry wasn't sure anyone could feasibly read the entire thing in their lifetime. So how had Hermione managed to put it all together? And in only three years? And how had she gotten it to him? And why had it landed on him and not a table or other nice surface to place books on (that were not his head)? And why by Merlin was there an entire section dedicated to becoming a dark lord?

Harry had many questions. So many questions. This was definitely Hermione's work, though, and the thought made him nostalgic in a way he hadn't experienced since his first few months in this world.

"Hey, not to break up the party, but maybe we should eat something. Come back to this a bit later?"

Sirius's suggestion was met with only mild reluctance on the part of the other two, and to dinner, they went, their meal courtesy of Kreacher, who looked happy to not have to fight anyone for control of the kitchen for once.

"Alright, we need a plan."

Sirius and Barty both nodded.

"And we need to lay some ground rules." Harry felt that this appleid to both Sirius and Barty, though for different reasons.

"First, no showing the book to Ivy when she gets home. No mentioning the book to Ivy. And no mention of me being from a different universes or anything either, to anyone," Harry said, pausing his pacing back and forth to give Barty a pointed look. Both nodded again, so so far Sirius and Barty seemed to be in agreement, which was good for Harry's overall health.

"Second, no using the dark lord how-to section. And no suggesting I use the dark lord how-to section," Harry said at Barty's excited look, which quickly settled into a pout.

"Third, it's going to take us a long time to go through this. So let's try to save the plots for when we're finished, yeah?"

Harry had learned something from Hermione. Namely, that reading about what you should have done after you had already done (the wrong) something was not nearly as helpful as reading about it first. It was tedious work, but such were the trials of life.

"Okay, so plan. We divide up the sections, sort through them, organize them into main topics, figure out which ones would be the most helpful, and… yes, Barty?" Barty had his hand raised in the air like a student.

"You mean like the table of contents at the beginning?"

Harry's eye twitched. "Yes, that'll do." For a second there he had forgotten about who they were dealing with. Of course, Hermione had a table of contents.

"Where is it?" Sirius asked.

"Oh, well it starts here," Barty said, flipping to one of the first pages, "and it goes until here." Harry was certain Barty had just flipped through at least a dozen pages.

Sirius peered over the book and gasped. "The table of contents is thirty seven pages?"

Okay, so maybe a little more than a dozen. But he had thought at least a dozen, so he technically wasn't wrong…

"Your friend is very thorough," Barty commented, with what Harry thought might be awe in his voice.

Harry was brought back to memories he had long since put behind him. It didn't do to dwell on the past, since doing so only brought him pain. Since being here he had been focused almost solely on Ivy, and then on Sirius, and now on Barty as well, but this unexpected link to his old world brought those memories to the forefront of his mind once more.

His reminiscing was brought to a swift end by Barty's seemingly innocent question of, "Why are there fifty one subsections for how to save the house elves?"

Oh, Hermione was going to murder him.

Remus sighed. He didn't need to be a Legilimens to know what was going through Severus's mind at the moment. Tonight was the first meeting of the new "dueling club," though why it couldn't have just waited until after Christmas at this point was beyond him. Severus's enthusiasm for the club had not, er, grown, to say the least, though he had made sure all the Slytherins would be there. Remus figured it was a I'm-suffering-so-you-must-also sort of thing. Really, it couldn't be that bad, could it? He made a mental note not to stick Weasley and Harrington together, or Ivy and either of the Weasley twins. Or Ivy with Granger. Or the other Weasley. Or any of the Ravenclaws in her year or… You know what, maybe he should stick her with a third year. Just to be safe.

"Alright, let's have Claridge and…" Remus paused to see Ivy giving him her very best puppy dog eyes. Sirius had some explaining to do. He sighed. "And Potter." She seemed very eager to go up against the third year Slytherin, and he thought he saw a twitch in Severus's eye. The bad kind, not the humorous kind. He decided he didn't want to know.

Two hours earlier:

"And then he chased me up the stairs and they moved right as I was about to get off, and he almost pushed me off! And then he yelled at me and said he didn't know why I was in Slytherin and I called him and idiot and he said he was going to tell on me but I said I'd tell on him first and then he shot something at me and I was stuck to the stairs for forever and that's when you guys found me."

Daphne looked about ready to go show Claridge exactly what she thought of him, but Pansy surprised them all and held her back.

"So, whose turn is it to get back at him this time?" she asked, perfectly calm.

"What do you mean? Of course it's my turn," Daphne fumed. "Tracey got it last week."

"Mmhmm, well, don't you think the rest of us ought to have a turn? I mean, by insulting Tracey he's really insulting all of us," Pansy said.

Millie's eye lit up in a sort of realization that was so far lost on the rest of the girls still. "Tonight is the dueling club."

"Why, would you look at that. So it is," Pansy said, her words suggesting surprise but her tone indicating otherwise.

Tracey was the next one to catch on to what Pansy was thinking. "So now one of us just has to go up against him at the dueling club tonight?" She frowned slightly. "I don't think I know enough good spells to beat him."

"Of course you do," Pansy reassured her. "But I was actually thinking maybe Ivy would like to have a go. She does have a particular… talent, after all."

When the other girls all just looked at her in confusion Pansy huffed. "Last year? Hyslop? This year? The ones who didn't figure out it was you?"

Ivy nodded. "Oh yeah, I almost forgot about them."

"Wait, what happened?" Daphne asked, rather excited at the prospect of another Ivy-taking-on-idiots story.

Ivy went to tell her but Pansy shushed them. "Not now, later. Right now we have to focus on the enemy at hand."

"You mean Claridge?"

"Exactly."

Ivy shrugged. "I have a couple things I could do I think."

Daphne pouted. "Why can't I just go stick Tiger on him again?"

After a moment deep in thought Ivy's face lit up. "I have the perfect one," she said excitedly. "Oh, this will be great."

Despite the enthusiasm of the other second year Slytherin girls at the prospect of getting back at enemy number one, Ivy refused to share her idea. "Just wait," she said. "And help me make sure I'm paired with him."

The girls all nodded their assent. Their plotting was sufficient for the moment, they headed towards dinner, dreams of terrifying older students dancing through their heads.

And if Harrington looked mildly panicked at the sight of them coming into dinner and raced off into parts unknown, well, it was probably nothing to be concerned about.

"Alright, Claridge, you stand here, and Potter, yes, that's right. Right there. Okay, on the count of three. One, two…"

Claridge shot off a tripping jinx which Ivy avoided easily. They exchanged mostly second and third year spells for a bit, and Remus wondered briefly if he should have stuck to disarming only. A bit too late for that now, but…

"Serpensortia."

Well then. Yes, Remus had heard Claridge had a rather dim view of snakes, ironic really considering his house, but then again not everyone shared Ivy's enthusiasm for the reptiles. Of course, not everyone could speak to them either and… Oh.

Yep. That was Ivy, hissing something at the snake. That was… Not entirely fantastic.

Remus made a quick survey of the room. Most of the looks were looks of surprise and/or shock. Severus looked particularly pale, as did a few of the other students. Most of the younger Slytherins looked at the snake and at Ivy in awe. Harrington looked… resigned. More to think about later. For now, the issue at hand was… Oh dear.

§No, not that one. No, go over… Oh, for Merlin'ss ssake. Sstop it. Now go lick him. No, not that one, the other one."

Why didn't the snake just listen? Claridge was right there, but no, the snake seemed determined to terrorize the Hufflepuffs. Finally, Ivy marched over and picked him up.

§Lissten up, misster, if you can't go to the right persson then I'm going to have to ssend you back.§

With that she gave him a bop on the nose and proceeded to vanish the conjured snake. When she finally looked up she noticed the pale look on Claridge's face. Well, at least it had kind of worked. It would have been better if the snake had actually gone over and licked his hand like it was supposed to, but the moment was over now.

She turned to find her friends and see their reactions. Pansy, Tracey, Daphne, and Millie were all displaying various degrees of shock mixed with satisfaction, so Ivy was fairly certain she hadn't entirely botched the payback attempt. She turned to where the Hufflepuffs had been standing, ready to apologize to Justin for the snake.

Justin did not look, um, particularly coherent at the moment… He was probably just surprised at how cool the snake had been. It was quite a bit bigger than Tiger, after all.

Wait, why was everyone else staring at her like that? And why did Thomas have a pained look on his face?

"What?"

Remus rubbed his face. He should have just said no.

Severus was desperately doing his best to recover from the shock that was the revelation that Ivy Potter was a Parselmouth. Several things made more sense at the moment, but already he could hear the inevitable questions that would come from this. He really should have just said no to this entire thing.

Thomas grimaced. Well, at least she hadn't mentioned the basilisk, but… He straightened. Nope, no time for idle thoughts. It was time to go full protection mode. He marched over to Percy, who, despite his own shock at the revelation, seemed to understand what Thomas was getting at. Ivy was about to be scrutinized to an entirely new extent, and it was unlikely that people would be altogether kind in their reactions. So protection mode it was.

Fred leaned over to his twin. "Do you think she could teach us?"

This was not Justin's evening. First, there had been a snake in his face, one Ivy Potter hissing behind it, and then Zach had started ranting about how evil Ivy was and how the snake had been about to kill him. Justin tried to point out that the snake had been in front of him, not Zach, but his fellow Hufflepuff was having none of it.

Finally, he gave up and went to go find Theo.

"Are you okay?" Theo blurted out when Justin finally reached him.

"What? Yeah, I'm fine. It's not like Ivy would tell the snake to hurt me or anything."

"What do you think she was saying then?"

"I think she was trying to get it to go over to Claridge probably."

Theo seemed to relax a bit. "Yeah, yeah, that makes sense."

"So, um, everyone looks like they found out we have a test on Christmas. So was all that…"

"Yeah, it's um, it's kind of a big deal. Parselmouths are really rare, and the last one was the Dark Lord."

Justin nodded in understanding. "Except Lord Peverell, right? And now Ivy?"

Theo nodded. "Yeah. And Lord Peverell turned out to be Lord Slytherin too, and Ivy, well, I have no idea about that actually."

Justin tilted his head. "Wait, so if Lord Peverell is Lord Slytherin, and he adopted Ivy, does that make her the heir or something?"

Draco scowled all the way up until Ivy finally came by him.

"Hi, Draco," Ivy said cheerfully.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Draco asked scowl still firmly in place.

"Tell you what?"

"That you are a Parselmouth of course," he said.

Ivy frowned. "Sorry, I must've forgotten."

"You must've…" Draco leaned his head back and sighed. "Any other secrets you feel like telling your best friend today?"

Ivy thought about his question for a moment. "Well, I love chocolate, but I don't really like chocolate ice cream. And… Hmm. Well, Uncle Henry likes to go by Harry, but I always call him Henry because otherwise, I picture him with hair all over like a porcupine and that's just weird so…"

"Porcupines don't have hair," Draco interjected.

"…him Henry and besides Harry doesn't go with Peverell and that's what all the goblins said too, but I think he doesn't believe me. Anyway, that's why I always call him Henry."

Draco blinked a few times. "You know, I meant more secrets like you being a Parselmouth. And what do you mean you don't like chocolate ice cream?"

Ivy shrugged. "I like vanilla better."

Draco gasped. "You heathen," he accused.

"Who's a heathen?" Blaise said, coming up on them suddenly.

"Ivy," Draco said, giving no further explanation.

Blaise just shrugged. "So, Ivy, does this mean you can tell Tiger to stop eating the raspberry mice pops? Tell him to eat the cherry ones instead, please."

"Sure."

"Thanks, Ivy."

Draco watched as Blaise wandered off, wondering how he seemed to be so okay with this. Unless… "Wait, Blaise didn't know, did he? Please tell me you didn't tell Blaise before me."

Ivy laughed. "No, I didn't tell him. Actually, I think only Remus and Thomas knew about it actually. I don't remember telling anyone else, and nobody asked about it."

"Why would someone ask… No, you're right. No one asked." Draco sighed. He was going to be getting much more creative with his list of questions for Ivy. Just to cover all potential scenarios and whatnot.

A little while later Ivy and Draco made it back to the Slytherin dorms.

"Hey Draco, what's the password?"

"You mean you don't know?"

"No."

"But it's been the same one for two weeks!"

"The password changed?"

Draco felt it. It was coming. Oh, yep, there it was. The eye twitch. Yep, that was a big one. Okay, now breathe in, breathe out… "How have you been getting in then?"

"Hmm? Oh, I just ask Clu."

"Who?"

"Clu. The snake? That one." Ivy pointed to the snake that marked the entrance to the Slytherin dormitories.

"You just ask…"

"Clúmhach," Ivy said helpfully.

"Great. Any other snakes you want to tell me about?" Draco asked sarcastically.

"Oh, well there's Hilda. She told me yesterday that…"

Thomas looked up at the two students entering the common room. He and Percy had decided on a divide and conquer approach. Percy would divide up the gossiping students, and Thomas would conquer Slytherin. It was foolproof.

"And really, Hilda is very nice. Tiger loves her too."

Thomas took in the excited look on Ivy's face and the pale, terrified look on Malfoy's face. He groaned. And maybe died a bit on the inside, but that was neither here nor there.

Quickly, but in a way he hoped was more nothing-to-see-here than disaster-is-imminent, he walked up to the two second years. "Ivy, Draco," he said, nodding to each of them. "Let's take a little walk, shall we?"

They had barely stepped foot in the common room before Draco found himself being ushered back out. He huffed, but it did nothing to dissuade Harrington.

Finally, Harrington pulled them off to a small unused classroom where they were unlikely to be disturbed. Draco watched with mild interest as the sixth year erected several privacy charms, not all of which Draco was familiar with. He was half tempted to ask Harrington about those later.

"Okay, Ivy," Harrington began, "were you telling Malfoy about Hilda?"

"Yeah?" Ivy looked a little sheepish.

"Can I ask why you were doing that?"

"Well he asked if I had any secrets I hadn't told him yet, and I told him a couple, but then when we got to the entrance I told him about Clu, and he asked if there were any other snakes, and he already knows Tiger, and the only other one I really know is Hilda."

Harrington rubbed his hand over his face. "Malfoy," he said, turning to Draco. "Just so we're clear, nothing about Hilda will be repeated. To anyone, am I clear?"

Draco's mind helpfully supplied an "or else," and he nodded. Vigorously. "So, is there really…"

Harrington sighed. "Yes, there is a basilisk in the school."

Draco's mind sort of froze at that point. When it finally resumed functioning again he heard himself say, "There's a basilisk in the school?"

Harrington looked pained. "You didn't know?" he asked Draco. "You didn't tell him?" he asked Ivy. Both shook their heads.

"I hadn't gotten to that part yet," Ivy said. Then she frowned. "Wait, when you said not to tell anyone about the basilisk did you mean Draco too?"

Harrington's eye twitched and Draco felt sympathetic.

"Yes, I did, in fact, mean everyone, but I suppose it's not the end of the world if Malfoy here knows. Just no telling anyone else, alright? Please?" he practically pleaded with Ivy, who nodded solemnly.

"Wait, what about Fred and George? And Neville?"

Harrington didn't answer her for a minute. "How about this, I'll talk to Percy, and we'll tell the twins." He mumbled something that Draco didn't quite catch. "And if you want to tell Longbottom, that's fine, but please remind him not to tell anyone else, alright?"

"Okay. And what about everyone else?"

"Not telling anyone kind of includes everyone, Ivy."

Ivy pouted slightly but Draco was far from brave enough to call her out on it.

"Fine, but why can't I tell them?"

"Because if word got out that there's a basilisk in Hogwarts someone would try to kill it. Also because most normal people tend to freak out at the mention of a giant snake that can kill them with its eyes." Harrington gestured to Draco as he spoke, and Draco wasn't even offended.

Ivy gasped. "They'd try to kill her?" She looked suddenly furious as she met Draco's eye. "No telling anyone," she said, jabbing a finger in his direction.

With two pairs of eyes now watching him for his response to that demand, he felt there was no other option than to nod. He wouldn't tell anyone. He'd try not to think about it even. Maybe one of the older students would be willing to obliviate him later. Yes. Great plan.

Thomas needed… something not available at Hogwarts. Or to someone technically still underage… But what was age but a number? An unfortunately small number in his case that prevented him from obtaining something stronger than… Well, anyway. Today could probably have gone better. At least Ivy hadn't conjured a basilisk. No, she had just asked to tell all her closest Gryffindor friends about Hogwarts' resident serpent queen, had revealed herself to the entire school as a Parselmouth, and had shaved another year off of Thomas's life span. So no, nothing to see here, just one sixth year student wondering if Hogwarts will still be standing come her fourth year. He and Percy needed to start training some replacements.

December 18, 1992

Hermione really did think of everything, Harry mused, as he read through the table of contents. Because yes, he was still on the table on contents. Not everyone can be a speed reader, alright?

He wasn't quite sure he would ever need a guide on tenth century combat techniques, but who knows, maybe it'd be something interesting to look at in his spare time. Which he was about to have a lot less of, he thought, looking once more at the sheer size of the book.

A bright light similar to the one yesterday flashed in front of him, and his first thought was, "not again."

When he felt no impact he ventured his eyes open a bit, and relaxed his arms from above his head where they had instinctively gone.

"Hello, Harry Potter."