A/N: I apologize in advance for the shorter chapter, but Mr. Darcy and I had a bit of a misunderstanding. By the time we realized it, I had an exam looming on the near horizon. The next one will be longer and is already in the works. :) This chapter is mostly for laughs, but we've hidden a few details that will become relevant in the future. Enjoy!

Lady Beatrice

Chapter 6: Burgeoning Bedlam

It had taken Bertram and Valeria a week to finish moving in and unpacking what remained of their belongings. They had discussed what they should do with the unexpected kitten, and their first thought was to give it to the local animal shelter, but Valeria had always wanted a cat. Since none of the family was allergic, they decided to keep the pet in celebration of a successful move. After all, if it turned out to be too much work, then they could always change their mind. They named him Bedlam, after the circumstances in which they acquired him, and Jamie and Hermione helped pick out a little cat bed with a litterbox, which they set up in the corner of the kitchen.

It was 8 o'clock in the morning, and the Granger family was eating breakfast when there was a loud crackling noise from behind them, and they all jumped. A big red bird had just appeared in their living room in a burst of flames that had mildly scorched their ceiling and set ablaze the wooden chair he landed on. Bertram fell back in surprise, while Valeria rushed to get a fire extinguisher. The children, safely seated in flame-retardant high chairs on the other side of the table, ogled the amazing mess that was being created. After putting the fire out, Bertram examined the strange bird more closely. He didn't seem to be doing anything dangerous now, but Valeria still had the fire extinguisher ready, just in case. Bertram noticed a metal tube tied to the bird's foot and carefully reached for it. When it didn't attack him, he untied the tube from his foot and twisted the top off. Inside was a letter addressed to him and Valeria from Albus Dumbledore.

Sighing, Bertram opened the letter and began to read.

Bertram and Valeria,

I hope you've gotten settled in. I'd like to introduce you to my friend Fawkes, the phoenix. He has graciously agreed to help us communicate covertly and will ferry letters back and forth between us. If you ever need to send anything to me, just call out for him. I've had Bathilda discretely add a ward to your home that will allow him to hear you.

Best wishes,

Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore.

P.S. Don't be surprised if Fawkes occasionally brings you a copy of the wizarding newspaper, The Daily Prophet. It's his favourite reading material, and he loves to share.

P.P.S. I hope he didn't catch anything on fire when he arrived. His flames can be quite energetic when he's travelling internationally.

Fawkes warbled a string of elegant music, and Bertram sensed that he was both sorry and slightly embarrassed about setting their house on fire. Bertram sighed and patted the phoenix on the head before passing the note to his wife and heading to the office to write a response to the aging headmaster.

~~~~~~~~~~ Y ~~~~~~~~~~

Bertram dashed into his living room, panting. He slammed the door behind him, barely escaping the scratching claws of the beast on the other side. He could hear it vainly scraping at the door, attempting to get at him, but he dragged a chair to prop against the door before collapsing on the ground to catch his breath. Bertram had survived encounters with this beast before, but it was persistent and had returned to take revenge for its past humiliation. Bertram thought back to the beginning of the situation and wondered where it had all gone wrong.

It all started with Bedlam. After a few months with their new acquisition, the Grangers had noticed that he was starting to grow quite large; much larger and much more rapidly than they would expect from the average housecat. He also had a tendency to chow down on any raw meat that had been left on the counter to thaw for dinner and became rather aggressive when Valeria tried to pick him up. She had been scratched more than once before she had sadly given up.

Deciding that the cat's unusual behavior warranted some research, Bertram and Valeria had taken a trip to the Darwin Public Library one evening for some in-depth research into feline fundamentals. They were most perturbed when they discovered that their harmless little kitten was actually an adolescent bobcat, based on its light blue eyes and fetchingly speckled tan and brown fur. Upon discovering this, both parents decided Bedlam had to go. They weren't equipped to raise a bobcat, and they were already busy enough with getting their practice started as well as taking care of their children. Who puts a bobcat in a package anyway!?

A few phone calls later, the local wildlife control team had arrived to take Bedlam off their hands. They were both thankful to see the end of it. Unfortunately, a few days later, while he was walking up his driveway after a short trip to the store, Bertram had been jumped by a very familiar bobcat. Bedlam had obviously escaped captivity, and it was clear that he was not pleased with the Granger's attempt to pass him off. Bertram had been heavily scratched, but he had managed to land a solid blow on Bedlam, giving him enough time to dash into the living room and block the main door with a chair. Eventually, the incessant scratching at the door slowed down, and Bertram heard a growl through it. He was quite glad for the thick door between him and the angry beast on the other side.

He heard Bedlam wander off and was about to breathe a sigh of relief at the close encounter when there was a loud crash from upstairs. Bertram's eyes widened as he remembered that he was not the only person in the house. He heard the cat growl, and before he knew what he was doing, Bertram grabbed the cast iron perch he had purchased for Fawkes after the phoenix had set his hair on fire and rushed out to defend the children from the marauding bobcat. Seeing that the bobcat wasn't in the upstairs hallway, Bertram dashed to the children's playroom. Hearing a scream and fearing the worst, Bertram jumped around the corner, hoping he would be able to save at least one of them. What he saw astonished him so much that he dropped Fawkes' perch on his foot and barely managed to hold in his yell of pain.

Bedlam was licking Hermione affectionately with his tongue, and the ticklish girl was the one whose screams he had heard. Jamie, on the other hand, was currently on the bobcat's back, giggling as he was occasionally bucked around, the blocks they had knocked over long forgotten in the face of a much more interesting playmate. Bertram limped forward, but the bobcat looked at him and growled menacingly. Challenging the bobcat with the children so nearby probably was not a good idea. He limped over to the nearest phone to ring Bathilda. If he couldn't handle this, maybe a bit of magic would do the job.

Upon her arrival, he showed her the children's playroom, where Bedlam was now carrying Jamie around in his teeth by the back of the boy's shirt while Hermione had taken his place on the Bobcat's back. Not knowing what to think of the situation, Bathilda spent a few minutes checking for magical interference and found that the bobcat had been charmed. Taking a closer look, she recognized the charm as being similar to one she had encountered while teaching at Hogwarts.

"We very lucky today, Bertram. It seemed as though Jamie or Hermione will cast a very subtle accidental magic on Bedlam. The Care of Magical Creatures professor while I am at Hogwarts uses a charm similar to this one on the more violent animals when he brought into class. It make animals very friendly to the caster. It's a little crude in this case, but it's definitely why Bedlam being so friendly."

Bertram sighed. "If that's the case, why wasn't the Australian magical community here to look for the source of the magic weeks ago when it must have happened? You said they'd show up to introduce us at the first sign of accidental magic."

Bathila shook her head. "Too little magic, my guess. If it take me several minutes to find the magic, there be no way the detectors picked something that small up."

Bertram looked at her agast. "Small?!" Bertram sighed again, "Nevermind. What do we do now? Val and I agreed that it makes for a safer relocation if we pretend we don't know anything about magic, but we can hardly keep a bobcat around without giving it away either. We tried to get rid of him, but he just came back…."

Bathilda thought for a moment as Bedlam swung Jamie around in his jaws, "I'm not sure I had good news for you, but since Jamie and Hermione seeming to be safe, let's gone and get you patch up. Those scratches looking nasty, and limping is no good sign."

Once they sat down and Bathilda had healed the worse of the scratches and reduced the swelling in his foot, Bathilda explained that the charm was likely permanent, and as a result, the bobcat would never attack either of the children. However, the crux of the issue was that, despite the fact that bobcats were notoriously bad pets, this one would never want to live far from the children for as long as the charm was in place. Since only the caster could remove it and neither child would be competent enough to do so for a long time, the only solutions were either to kill the bobcat or find some way to work it out.

While they were talking, Valeria returned from their dentistry office, and she was filled in on why Bathilda and her husband were discussing keeping a bobcat. After she checked in on the children to see for herself that they were alright, they decided Bathilda should cast a muggle notice-me-not charm and a charm to prevent Bedlam from attacking humans before allowing him to hunt for his own food in the suburbs. There were plenty of rabbits and rodents in the area, and it would let him be independent like bobcats needed to be, while still letting him visit the children.

That night, as they got ready for bed, Bertram and Valeria sighed and wondered what other strange things they would encounter with two magic children. Since their introduction to the magical world, they had moved across the world, had their furniture set on fire by a phoenix, and had their children magically tame a bobcat accidentally obtained while moving. They wondered what other magical strangeness was awaiting them as they raised Jamie and Hermione.

A/N: The idea for Bedlam was borrowed from a cartoon strip both Mr. Darcy and I share a fondness for. Guesses welcome when you review; we'll let you know in a future chapter. ;)

Lady Beatrice