Amelia knew in her head she wasn't the same as her siblings. Nancy didn't scream and cry like she did every time there was a loud noise. Derek didn't get a time out for wanting to know everything possible all the time. Lizzie didn't fidget so much in class that she got sent to the principle at least once a week for disrupting the class. Kate - because she wanted to be Kate now instead of Katie - didn't become distressed to the point she couldn't breathe if she couldn't find her favourite socks. So Amelia knew she was different to her siblings

Amelia knew her Dad had taught Nancy to drive, and he taught Derek to fish, and Lizzie to throw a curve ball, and Kate how to ride her bike. But her Dad was gone, and Amelia still woke up sometimes and forgot he was gone, and that made her so sad that sometimes she would refuse to then get out of bed. So Amelia had taught herself to tie her shoes, and she could already read before, but now she sounded out the hard words on her own, and her Dad wouldn't teach her to drive or throw a ball or ride a bike.

Amelia also got lonely a lot. Her siblings were older and had friends to play with and would ride their bikes all about town - despite Nancy complaining she wanted to drive the car but Mom needed it for work - and Dad had never taught Amelia to ride a bike so Amelia couldn't go with them. Amelia was left at home, sometimes Mom would be there, but Mom didn't really talk to her anymore and it made Amelia so sad she would cry for hours because she didn't know why. Sometimes one of her siblings would stay behind - usually Derek - and she knew they hated staying behind to babysit her, even more than they hated when she had to tag along because she was too little to be left alone.

"Where are you going, Kiddo?" Amelia had decided that if Dad couldn't teach her things she would have to teach herself or she'd never get to go with her siblings on weekend bike rides around the town. Amelia looked to her Mom who had spoken as she was tying her shoes, tongue stuck out between her teeth as she concentrated on what she'd learnt by watching Kate tie her school shoes.

"I'mma ride a vélo." Amelia furrowed her brows, determining her laces were tied well enough.

Her Mom looked away from her and Amelia frowned, her Mom barely looked at her anymore at all. "Let me get the training wheels and-"

"No." Amelia huffed, training wheels were for babies, and she was 6 now! Besides, training wheels would mean waiting longer and Amelia had been waiting long enough. "I can do it, 'm pas un bébé." She didn't wait for her mother to respond, flinging open the garage door to find the old purple bike that had first been Nancy's, then Derek's, then Lizzie and Kates. It was purple and the paint had chipped leaving spots of orange/red rust and scratches of silver, stickers had been stuck on and faded off leaving grey-ish shapes of what had been, dents and a big hole in one side of the basket on front, and Amelia was sure she'd seen a picture of Nancy on the bike with tassels on the handle bars, but now the grips were tassel-Less and and worn down to smoothness.

Amelia was smaller than her siblings had been, and the bike had last been set to Kates height, so Amelia had to stretch her toes to reach the ground on just one side. Amelia fell off the bike nearly as soon as she'd gotten on it. Her hand had a scrape on it from the fall.

The second try ended much the same. Amelia wondered if her siblings had fallen as well with their Dad there to help them steady. Amelia had watched from the window one day as another father had taught one of the neighbour kids to ride his bike and had held onto the bike to keep it upright.

The third try Amelia managed a few shaky feet before her grip wavered and the bike toppled. Again. She groaned in frustration, but tried to keep her cool, tried not to explode in anger and frustration and sadness. Her Dad taught all the others, why didn't he get to teach her?

The fourth try Amelia kicked the ground and the bike and a tree and then picked the bike up and started again.

The fifth time Amelia made it halfway down the block before the sidewalk started to tip downhill and she lost her balance and crashed into a trash can. She sat there for a moment, her knee hurt and she wanted scream and cry. Amelia inspected the tear in her pants and the cut on her leg, stuck her tongue out as she swiped the blood away with her scratched up hand. Not very deep. Then she picked up the trash can and shoved the trash back inside it, wiping her hands on her shirt when she was done.

Amelia picked up the old purple bike again, marching it back to her driveway as her Mom came out of the house at a near run. Her Mom might have said something, but Amelia was determined now. She wouldn't let the stupid bike win, she wanted to ride bikes with Nancy and Derek and Lizzie and Kate, she wanted to not be left behind, she wanted to be not just the baby who watched her Dad die!

Amelia held onto the mailbox to keep steady and then pushed off! Her brow was furrowed, her teeth digging into her bottom lip, her grip tight on the handlebars, her foot slipped a little on the peddle as she started moving, but founds hold again. The sidewalk started to dip halfway down the block, but she kept going, refusing out of sheer will to give up. She crashed into a mail box this time.

By the time the older kids got back from riding around with their friends and to the mall and wherever older kids liked to go Amelia was tired and her legs hurt and her hair was a mess and she was covered in dirt and bruises and scrapes. It had taken 12 attempts for her to make it all the way around the block without crashing, and she hadn't stopped since, peddling as hard as her legs would let her, marvelling at the wind in her knotted hair, giggling at the feeling of flying it gave her.

Amelia looked over when she felt people beside her, Derek on one side and Mark on the other and she grinned as big as she could because she was finally a big kid now, she could ride a bike and wouldn't need to be left alone anymore.

"You're doing so good, Amy." And in that moment Derek sounded exactly like Dad used to and it made her heart ache and her stomach swoop and her bike wobbled and she ended up on the ground again, her sisters and Mom running to her side, Derek and Mark already there with her.

"I'm okay!" Her heart was racing and she wasn't entirely sure she was honest, but Derek was helping her up and Mark was picking up her bike and her Mom was pulling her into a hug so tight she almost couldn't breathe. But her Mom was hugging her. She missed her Moms hugs.