Sanji/Zoro pairing Sanji writes into AITA. And like most a/b/o fics, betas don't really rate - sorry!

AITA for unintentionally kicking a villager over a building because he assumed I was an omega? Not even a beta?! A fucking omega!

Not that there's anything wrong with being an omega. I know many, many beautiful women who are omegas.

They are the light of the sun, the water in the four seas, the blue which colors the sky. They make an alpha such as myself want to go out and conquer the world and bring pieces of it back to them to decorate our home with.

I'm not saying alpha women aren't equally as wonderful, in their own Amazonian, dominatrix kind of way. If I knew how to write out a sexy kitty growl, I would. That's how excited alpha women make me feel.

But I digress. What can I say? Women and their ineffable grace leave me bewitched and bamboozled.

So back on track! My partner is an omega but that's part of the problem. People keep assuming he's the alpha just because he's got all these stupid, useless muscles.

Ask him to flex his bicep and touch his shoulder! Ridiculous! If he ever gets an itch there, who do you suppose will have to scratch it?

What's even more ridiculous is that he's the one with all the tell-tale signs of being an omega - round ass, wears jewelry, and almost no body hair.

(Except, you know where. Ahem, down there ↓)

I'm hairy! You should see my legs. My ears have never been pierced and never will be, thank you very much. And my ass is perfectly proportioned to the rest of my lean but VERY muscular body.

So when some foolish villager saw me and my boyfriend the omega, you can understand why I was justifiably miffed when this idiot told him, "You got yourself a cute omega."

I gave this yahoo a chance to apologize. I said to him very calmly (only one foot was on fire,) "What did the fuck did you just call me?"

Then this guy goes, "Oh, ho ho! The pretty ones always have a temper, don't they?"

I'm not pretty! I am handsome, virile, and potent!

But the last straw was when this villager nudges my omega boyfriend in the side and says, "You've got your hands full with that one."

ZoroMy omega boyfriend has his hands full? I'm the one who has to tell the idiot it's time to eat! I tell him to bathe! I have to fetch him whenever he goes out for a walk!

I swear, my foot acted of its own accord to defend my honor as an alpha. And the villager was just fine! He landed a very fluffy bush. Barely any scratches!

So, who's the real asshole in this situation? Me, the victim of prejudice and stereotyping, or this ignorant, judgmental villager?

abandoned_farmhouse • 06/29/2015

YTA!

Flames, flames shooting out the side of my face! I am so sick of hearing about alpha males and their toxic viewpoint, but your letter has an interesting twist I suppose. I didn't know that queer men had also succumbed to this misogynistic and hateful philosophy.

Where do I even begin with this garbage heap of a letter? Shall I wade in this cesspool right at the beginning?

Beautiful omega women - I can only assume you are bisexual. And I can only assume you are a sexist pig that has learned to walk on its back legs and has somehow managed to crudely imitate the sounds of human speech.

Are omega women the ultimate versions of tradwives?

Is omega the final, greatest form every female should aspire for? If only they cook and clean hard enough?

Your hot take on alpha women isn't any better. So, when a woman shows her assertiveness you react with a - rereads letter - kitty growl? Women do not need or want your sexual reactions (or your approval) for their self-confidence.

I can only assume this alpha/omega bullshit you're spewing about you and your boyfriend has to do with ugly old stereotypes about who's the "man & woman" in gay male relationships.

It really sucks for your boyfriend, you know? And I hope this is just a you thing and not a queer community thing. Because this alpha/omega characterization smacks of the patriarchy, the super gross kind of patriarchy.

Never mind all that. Let us get back to the crux of your letter - that ignorant villager not realizing you are an "alpha."

Why couldn't the villager couldn't smell the testosterone you must obviously be reeking of! Allergies, a head cold, or maybe a sinus infection - all very real possibilities.

Or just maybe you aren't the overpowering "alpha" you think you are. If you're such a strong alpha, shouldn't you be driving all the "omegas" around you to their respective knees, dizzy with desire?

Perhaps there are supplements you can take to enhance your "alphaness?" I've read that there are such creatures as alpha primes and a new player on the block called sigma.

With a little effort on your part, you won't have to put up with the insult of being called an omega, despite your hairy legs and adequate ass.

Sarcasm aside, I am worried for your boyfriend. I hope you reread your letter and see what I see.

You sound extraordinarily controlling to the point where I want to find him and ask him if he's okay. You tell him when to bathe and eat? And you control how long he's allowed to spend his free time away from you?

This is not okay! Even if your "omega" boyfriend says it's okay, some people will reframe their own subordination/oppression as a noble self-sacrifice.

And is your boyfriend the self-sacrificial type? Be honest!

One final thought, biceps too big to scratch his shoulder? That's an urban legend. And even if it wasn't, I'm sure your boyfriend could just use his other hand to do it. If you give him permission first, of course.

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