Notes: Alright guys, this is it. Dobby Doesn't Die, the final chapter. To be honest we've had it finished for about a month now but we were too busy with other stories to upload it just yet. But now it's here! And thank you all for reviewing, favoriting, and following! They just fill us up with joy.
AND GIVE US INCREDIBLE POWER!
And without further ado,
Dobby Doesn't Die Chapter Four: Dobby Demolished
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"…dead."
Harry took a deep breath.
"NOOOOOOOO!" He cried. "MY SURROGATE FATHER MENTOR!"
"You already said that," Voldemort sneered.
"I know," Harry said sadly. "But if Dumbledore taught me one thing, it's to say something twice…for dramatic effect."
"Your mentor was wise," Voldemort said in his high, cold voice. "But it could not save him…"
He paused for dramatic effect.
"…from me."
"He taught you as well," Harry said. "I already know this. You are Tom Riddle, you went to Hogwarts once too!"
"Yes," Voldemort smirked. "I did. Now, Chosen One, show me exactly what a fool far past his prime taught you."
"Gladly," Harry said, voice growing steely. "But, first, I need to power up."
"Of course," Voldemort nodded. "Don't let me distract you, go ahead, I'll wait."
"Thank you," Harry said, surprised.
"No problem," Voldemort smiled. "Just pretend I'm not here."
The young man set his stance and raised his hands over his head. Slowly, he raised his other leg, his foot resting on his thigh as his knee stuck out. Harry took a moment's pause before thrusting his foot back behind him, throwing his hands forward. Then, he twirled around, as glitter twinkled in the path his hands left behind.
"Harry Potter, watch out!" Dobby cried out. "Voldemort is preparing to attack!"
"What?" Harry panicked. "I've started the process Dobby! I can't stop it!"
He raised his arms over his head to clap together and did a little wiggle.
"I still have forty-five seconds of transformation!"
"That, my dear foe, is why you shall fall!" Voldemort declared, pulling out a handgun. "You should never trust the enemy to give you time to transform, you IDIOT!"
Harry jumped a foot into the air, clicking his heels.
"What out, Harry Potter!" Dobby exclaimed. "Voldemort is STRAPPED!"
The-boy-who-lived did a somersault, forming a heart with his arms as he twirled through the air, landing in a split as he completed the rotation.
"Yes, I am strapped! And it is your own fault for believing me!" The dark lord exulted. "Of course I would use any and every weapon in my arsenal to ensure your demise. How in the world did you actually fall for my trap? Who does that!? I mean, come on! It's the oldest trick in the book!"
Harry backflipped.
"Wrong," Dobby said, pointing a finger at something behind Voldemort. "This is! Look over there!"
The young Gryffindor began to break dance, throwing his arms and legs around like a scuttling spider.
Voldemort whirled around, with a shout of surprise. "What? There's nothing there? I thought that when you pointed and told me to look over here, that there would be a person or creature that I wasn't expecting or made aware of right behind or approaching at some distance and speed!"
Harry clapped his hands in front of him and his clothes finished their transformation to white. "Thanks, Dobby! Because of your distraction-"
"What!?" Voldemort asked. "What distraction!?"
Harry took a pose in his now skintight bodysuit. "I was able to complete my transformation!"
"That's highly unfortunate," Voldemort said, nodding at Harry's transformation clothing.
"I am well aware of that, Tom!" Harry snapped. "And now it is time for you to DIIIIIEEEEEEE!"
"I will not be dying anytime soon, boy! I can transform more than just myself," the dark lord told him.
He started a series of complex hand gestures, and when he finished his gun flashed black. When the dark energy faded, what remained was a slightly larger handgun.
"A glock!" Dobby cried. "Oh no!"
"Enough of this posturing," Harry said. "IT IS TIME TO STOP HOLDING BACK! I WILL FIGHT YOU WITH ALL OF MY FULL POWER! SO, COME AT ME WITH ALL YOUR STRENGTH!"
"Fine."
Voldemort jerked forward as Harry dodged to the side. The handgun sang its deadly song four times in rapid succession. The first two slammed into Dobby, one shattered a brick, and the final message parted Harry's hair as it missed.
"AHH, DOBBY'S KNEES!"
"Nice try, Tom!" Harry smiled. "But, that Glock is no match for my power!"
He lunged at Voldemort, his right fist jetting for the dark lord's face.
POW! POW! POW! POW!
The gun tried for four encores. Voldemort's eye twitched as each lyric shattered uselessly against the Chosen One's fist one after the other.
"Fist of Justice," Harry said as he made contact with cold, black flesh.
Voldemort spun through the air as the strike impacted against his cheek. Harry stepped forward, pushing the attack with two more shots from his bullet-like punches.
"AHHHHH DOBBY'S KNEEEEEES! THEY ARE IN INCREDIBLE PAIN!"
Harry raised both hands above his head and brought them down. His attack cratered the floor, Voldemort having vanished just before his attack landed.
He reappeared, standing behind the younger man. The dark lord crouched, holding a hand in a clawing gesture in front of him.
"USELESS USELESS USELESS!" He cried. "There's no stopping me now!" I had a complete breakfast and a good night's rest!"
"No!" Harry yelled. "How!? How did you get a good night's rest!?"
Voldemort scoffed. "I tortured three innocent people. I slept like a baby!"
Harry inhaled deeply. "You will pay for your iniquities, Tom."
Voldemort's eyes flashed dangerously as his face contorted in fury. "How dare you use big words I do not know? How dare you!?"
"Supercalifragilisticexpialidocius!" Harry shouted, kicking and punching at his enemy's bones.
As his mentor once said. Go for the bones Harry, no one ever expects you to go for the bones.
Several loud snaps cracked in the air as three of Voldemort's phalanges broke.
He pressed the advantage against his noseless foe, rearing forward, and slamming his fist down at Voldemort's foot bones.
"ARGH!" Voldemort exclaimed as his metatarsals exploded. "MY FOOT BONES!"
The black-skinned monster leaped into the air, his fists gathering power by his sides. Harry jumped at him, but the Dark Lord punched his fists forward, blasting the unfortunate boy with black energy. The floor shattered and the stone of the basement below cracked when Harry's back crashed into it.
"As strong as you are," Voldemort said softly. "You are not as strong as your master."
His eyes rolled back into his head and an unearthly screech echoed from within his throat. A terrible beam of dark energy rose from his form, piercing the morning clouds.
Dobby crawled on his hands and knees, wincing in pain as he approached the fallen Gryffindor.
"Take Dobby's energy, Harry Potter," the tiny elf said, slapping Harry's hand.
A brilliant column of bright light to match the dark one broke the sky.
The beams shared the open air for another few seconds before fading.
Harry rose from the basement below, as Dobby army crawled up the wall and out of the hole. His hair was now stark white, like an elderly woman's, and his face shined with the light of a flashlight with batteries anew.
"You've forced my hand, Tom," he said. "Now we fight."
"Oh, ho ho ho," Voldemort chuckled. "You fool! It seems that my clash with your power has unlocked a NEW FORM!"
He cackled, as his bright orange skin reflected Harry's light.
Dobby shuddered from his position underneath a far bush. "Dobby prays you will win, Harry Potter
This only made Voldemort's cackle grow louder. "Your prayers, like into mighty waves, fall, and break, upon the uncaring bluffs of an uncaring fate. Now, come and meet it."
He launched forward, unleashing rabbit punches with untold speed. RABBIT PUNCHES OF DOOM, TIER FOUR!"
Harry's body shook under the tremendous blows and he fell to the ground.
"I guess I have no choice then. I will have to use THAT ability," he said sadly. "I was hoping I wouldn't need it, I told Ron and Hermione that I wouldn't need it, but it seems I was wrong!"
Tears fell freely from his eyes as he stood back to his feet. Raising one arm to the sky at a 45 angle, he declared. "I call upon my friends! Those who have fought with all their strength against you! The people who fight by my side! I call upon yoooooouuuu!"
Voldemort folded his arms, smirking, and waited. "Let's see it then."
"Sharpness of Hermione!" He shouted.
Hermione suddenly appeared out of nowhere, standing at Harry's shoulder. "It's Levi-OH-sa, not LeviosAh!"
Her energy joined his.
"Bluntness of Ron!"
Ron appeared at the other shoulder, looking at the scene before him. "Bloody Hell."
Which was an accurate description.
"Cruelty of Severus!"
Snape appeared behind Harry, towering over him with a pronounced sneer. "Fifty points from Gryffindor!"
"Abuse of Uncle Dursley!"
The pudgy man joined the others. "POTTAH!"
"Cowardice of Draco!"
Draco appeared next to Snape, shock on his face. "My father will hear about this!"
"Age of McGonagall!"
The Transfiguration Professor appeared next to Draco. "I've always wanted to do this spell!"
"Loonyness of Luna!"
Lune Lovegood appeared next to a frightened Vernon Dursley. "Have you heard of the Rotfang conspiracy?"
"Cleverness of Dumbledore!"
Dumbledore's body fell to the ground next to McGonagall, who gasped in horror. The corpse made flipping noises.
"Use the force, FRED!"
The Weasley twin appeared, Snape and Draco standing in front of him to either side.
"It's George, honestly man you call yourself the chosen one?"
"Loyalty of Dobby!" Dobby shuffled next to George. "You shall not harm Harry Potter!"
"Heart of the cards, George style!"
Fred appeared on the other side of George. "Yugioooooohhhhhh!"
"Friendship is Magic, Neville style!"
Neville appeared next to Dobby. "Magic is Friendship!"
"Power of Potter!" Harry stood in front of the almost triangle.
"MAGIC OF FRIENDSHIP ULTIMATE STYLE MEGA ETERNAL BLAST OF INFINITE POWER! Expecto Patronuuuuuum!"
He rocketed forward, his fist enveloped in a white stag as he punched Voldemort in the face.
"WAH!" Voldemort screamed.
Harry's scar fell off and disintegrated. Deep in the vaults of Gringotts, a solid gold cup with a badger blazoned across it melted into slag. In the secret depths of Hogwarts castle, a room that was and at the same time wasn't, shuddered as the little tiara within crumbled to dust. Nagini died.
All that was left was the man in front of Harry Potter. Voldemort raised his head to the sky in a silent scream as his body began to disintegrate, piece by piece.
Lord Voldemort was gone.
Suddenly, the old Headmaster's body began to crackle and pop. Then, a flash of fire erupted from Dumbledore's corpse. The image of a fiery bird rose from it and Dumbledore appeared in a renewed body, wearing naught but a loincloth.
"PHOENIX RISING FROM THE ASHES! What do you think of my new skill, Tom? I learned it a few months ago. I needed you to kill me so I could show it off. It lets me come back to life whenever I want," Dumbledore bragged.
He flexed his muscles as jaws hit the floor. Then, he continued.
"That was the BEST chiropractic adjustment I have had in decades! Now my power is at 58.1%!" He screamed calmly. "By the way, thank you for that Avada Kedavra, not only is my appendix once again fully functioning, but my Qi has gone up 3.76%! Wow, that made my Qi go from Ultra Super Grandmaster to Transcendent Divine Godmode! I wasn't expecting that!"
He cracked his neck before continuing. "And it seems I have unlocked my 74th form! I might actually use this one, it gives my attacks a funny fire effect!"
Harry ran forward and hugged Dumbledore, the others shrugged and joined him, all laughing as they did a group hug.
Why am I cursed with watching this disgusting display of affection? Voldemort wondered. Am I not dead? Where am I? Do I not have a body? How am I seeing all of this?
Suddenly, the dark lord heard something. It sounded muffled, but someone was talking. He couldn't place where it was coming from either. It grew louder. His head started to hurt.
Voldemort woke up.
He gasped sharply. He was in the still intact lounge of Malfoy Manor.
It had all been a dream. But, why was he here? And why had he been unconscious?
Dobby cleared his throat. "Dobby thought you would last longer than that!"
Voldemort looked up, suddenly recalling the last few seconds.
He had never transformed, he had never even gotten a word out. He was about to taunt the elf, when it apparated next to him, punched him in the face, and knocked him unconscious.
"Sensei Dumbledore was right! Dobby is strong!" Dobby cheered. "Goodbye, Voldemort."
The dark lord tried getting to his feet, but Dobby grabbed him by the chin and back of his head, then violently twisted, breaking his neck. The dark lord slumped to the ground, dead.
"No coming back for you, Voldemort," Dobby said, wagging his finger. "Dobby already destroyed the cup, diadem, and snake. As for Master Harry Potter, Dobby destroyed that Horcrux yesterday, replacing it with a fake so you wouldn't be suspicious."
Realizing he was talking to a lifeless corpse, Dobby blushed and disapparated.
End.
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Authors' Notes:
Forsooth: yup, it was all just a dream.
Conquest: that's kind of lazy, isn't it?
Forsooth: you try writing this fic and coming up with a better ending.
Conquest: I did, that's why you're the one writing it. Though, to be fair, it's so satisfying for Dobby to be the one to finish the dark lord.
Forsooth: true that.
Conquest: what if we had Voldemort's final thoughts be "but I didn't even get to use my first form."
Forsooth: that's hilarious
Conquest: thank you. And heads up for those reading our other stories, we're going to upload an omake. For those of you who don't know, an omake is an alternate parody ending for a story. This one is going to have multiple crossovers, but it's staying Harry Potter, we'll mark it X-Overs crossover if we feel like it.
Forsooth: Good day, and good night.
Conquest: depending on what time zone you're in. We can't tell you what ours is because we're on Mars and it's pretty difficult to figure that stuff out, so we gave up.
Forsooth: Also the "go for the bones" bit is not of my creation, got the idea from an mha abridged series.
Conquest: Last Word.