We Were Who We Should Have Been (MDZS)

by TheCompanyIKeep

Xue Yang has returned, and he's angry. In a series of convoluted events, an unlikely team forms to deal with the unruly demonic cultivator. It's time for Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng to work together again, but can they manage it? Can Lan Xichen move on from past betrayals? And can Jin Ling and Jiang Cheng come to terms with their new self-realizations?

35. Broken Apart

Jin Ling sat up and blearily looked around. He opened and closed his fists. Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian were gone. Dense fog pressed in all around him.

He put his hand on the ground and felt something soft beneath it. He looked down to find a familiar ornate brown and gold rug.

An illusion. They'd succeeded in making Xue Yang use illusions. Now all Jin Ling had to do was withstand it.

The fog crept back, revealing bed posts behind him, sheer floor-to-ceiling white curtains, and a clean desk with drawers fit to burst with stacks of papers that had been shoved hastily inside.

Outside, it was raining.

"What was it that you wanted to tell me, A-Ling?"

Jin Ling's back stiffened. "Shushu."

Jin Guangyao sat forward in the lacquered chair in the corner of the room. He was dressed in the same clothes he'd died in.

He smiled languidly. Jin Ling found himself unsure whether he should move toward or away from him.

Paralyzed by indecision, he stayed where he was on the floor.

This is fake, he told himself. Focus.

"It's not me that you should fear confiding in," Jin Guangyao said. "Between the two of us, I've always been the more forgiving, haven't I?"

"The two of us?"

Jin Guangyao didn't clarify. His smile widened.

"You've missed me, haven't you?"

"No," Jin Ling said sourly.

Jin Guangyao didn't seem angered by his words. In fact, he looked sad. His smile vanished and he tilted his head to one side before holding his arms out to his nephew.

"Come here, A-Ling," he said.

"No."

"Please?"

"I don't want to."

Jin Guangyao tilted his head again. He gazed at him with more sympathy than Jin Ling could bear.

"Yes, you do," he said softly. "This is a dream. You know it's only a dream. It's okay. It's not real."

That much was true. It couldn't be real. Jin Ling knew he was in Qishan, not Lanling. It was impossible for him to suddenly be in his room at home.

And it was even more impossible for Jin Guangyao to be there.

And yet, he didn't move.

"Why do you hesitate?"

"I don't know."

But he did know… kind of.

From the crisp rainy air to the heady fragrance of the lotus pond outside, everything seemed just a little too realistic to be a dream.

This is an illusion, he thought to himself. Isn't it?

His grasp on reality was slipping. This was going to be difficult.

"Maybe I should go to you?" Jin Guangyao asked.

Jin Ling shook his head. But when Jin Guangyao rose from the chair and walked toward him, one hand outstretched as if soothing a wild animal, he didn't move. He stayed where he was, even as his uncle knelt to be eye level with him.

"I wanted to hate you, you know," Jin Guangyao said. "Like you want to hate me now."

It wasn't what he'd expected him to say. Jin Ling didn't really know what he'd expected him to say, but he knew it wasn't that. He was taken off guard.

"I don't hate-"

"Shh," Jin Guangyao said softly. "It's all right. I understand."

Unsure of what to do or say, Jin Ling fell silent.

"The day you were born was difficult for me," Jin Guangyao explained. "You were just a baby, with no talent yet apparent, but you were accepted into our family, just like that."

He snapped his fingers. Jin Ling jumped.

"I had to fight for everything I wanted," Jin Guangyao went on bitterly. "But you were handed anything you could ever want. And I knew that would happen.

"Before you were born, I'd made up my mind to hate you. That day you came into this world, your mother offered you to me. I was going to decline, but before I could, you curled your fingers around one of mine and wouldn't let go."

His gaze was far off, like he could still see Jin Ling's chubby infant hand reaching for his own.

"Every day after that," Jin Guangyao said, "the more I tried to shut you out of my heart, the harder you fought to break in.

"You were – and let's be honest, you still are – a spoiled little brat. You've always been as competitive and imperious as your uncle and as prideful as your father. So, it will probably mean very little to you when I tell you that I'm sorry."

"What?" Jin Ling said hollowly. His ears were ringing.

"I'm sorry, A-Ling," Jin Guangyao repeated. "You're just a child. I was supposed to protect you. I'm so sorry."

Jin Ling shook his head, throat tight. "How can I believe you?"

Jin Guangyao smiled sadly. "This is a dream," he said. "This is your dream. You can make whatever you want of it."

They regarded each other in a new light. Jin Ling's eyes were burning.

He wanted to believe him. He wanted nothing more than to believe what he'd just heard.

And so, he did.

Jin Ling threw his arms around Jin Guangyao, squeezing his eyes shut tight as hot tears flooded his cheeks. He tried to hold them in. He didn't want to cry.

But when Jin Guangyao embraced him too, pulling him close enough to feel the beating of his heart beneath his ribs, Jin Ling couldn't stop himself. He sobbed into his uncle's shoulder like the child he'd accused him of being.

"Shh," Jin Guangyao murmured. "It's all right."

Jin Ling wanted to hit him.

He wanted to talk to him.

He wanted to scream at him.

He wanted to make sure that he would never leave him again.

But all he could do was cry.

"You've carried so much since I've been gone, haven't you?"

Jin Ling didn't answer except to wrap his arms tighter around him.

They sat there like that for a long time. Jin Guangyao never fidgeted nor said anything to suggest that he wanted to leave. And although he soothed him with gentle words, he never demanded that Jin Ling stop crying.

Eventually, Jin Ling regained control of himself. When he moved to sit back on his heels, Jin Guangyao finally released him.

"Oh look at your face," Jin Guangyao said sweetly, brushing away what Jin Ling had failed to. "You've shed far too many tears for me, A-Ling."

"I know."

His uncle watched him for a time, lips pursed slightly like he had something he wanted to say. Whatever it was, though, he kept it to himself.

"I have missed you," Jin Ling admitted, casting his gaze to the floor.

"I know."

Jin Guangyao's fingers were cool on the underside of his chin as he tilted his head to look at him.

"This is your dream," he said. "You are allowed to feel however you want, but you should spare yourself from shame, at least."

"I should hate you," Jin Ling whispered. "I want to hate you."

Jin Guangyao bowed his head. "I want that for you too."

"Then do something. Make me."

"What could be worse than what I've already done?"

Jin Ling opened his mouth but realized that he had no answer. He slumped his shoulders and dropped his gaze back to the floor.

Jin Guangyao stood effortlessly and glided over to the door leading out to the garden.

"Where are you going?" Jin Ling asked, hating the desperate, fearful note in his question.

Jin Guangyao smiled down at him and opened the gauzy curtains to look out at the storm.

"I'm not going anywhere," he said serenely. "Not yet."

Despite his assurance, Jin Ling felt uneasy. He sat up a little straighter on the floor.

"Now," Jin Guangyao said, his tone matter-of-fact, "what did you want to talk to me about?"

"What?"

Jin Guangyao smiled again and glanced at him briefly before returning his attention to the window.

"That night in the field," he said, "you begged me not to go. You wanted to talk to me about something. What was it?"

Jin Ling frowned. "But that wasn't you. It was the demon."

"Didn't matter to you then, did it? As far as you were concerned, that was me. Why did you chase me?"

"I wanted an explanation," Jin Ling said. "I wanted to know why-"

"You've had all the explanation that you needed," Jin Guangyao interrupted sharply. "I've explained myself to you thoroughly. That wasn't what you wanted, though you may have believed it was at the time. There's something else. Tell me."

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

Jin Guangyao sighed that frustrated, disappointed sigh of his. But it didn't change the fact that Jin Ling really didn't know what he was getting at.

"Are you sure?" Jin Guangyao asked. He cupped his hand and stuck it outside to collect a pool of rainwater in his palm. "Are you absolutely sure?"

At first, he was annoyed that he kept pushing.

Then, as the storm grew louder, realization began to dawn on him. Jin Ling scooted away a little, causing the rug beneath him to fold and bunch against his back.

"Don't be afraid," Jin Guangyao said. "I'm in no position to pass judgement on you. Talk to me."

"No, I – I don't think I should," Jin Ling stammered.

"But you've remembered what it was? You remember what you were going to tell me about?"

"I – um – I'm not sure," Jin Ling said, now uncomfortably aware of where he really was – seated in the exact spot where he'd slept that fateful afternoon.

How could Jin Guangyao know about that if he wasn't just a dream? With all the warding in Jinlintai, there was no chance that a demon could have gotten in.

Maybe he really could talk to him. Maybe all of this was just a vivid dream.

And yet…

"A-Ling," Jin Guangyao said gently, "now is your chance to say what you need to say. I'm not actually here. You can tell me the things you can't bear to tell anyone else. Let me help you carry this."

…Suihua!

It was indeed possible he was speaking to the huli jing after all. Xue Yang had cursed his sword and had been able to use it to observe him ever since. That is, until Wei Wuxian had revoked the curse.

Jin Ling felt sick. This demon was a master of illusion. It could have been making him act out a whole scene in front of everyone. Maybe it was trying to make him confess in front of them… in front of Jiang Cheng.

His flesh was hot and cold at the same time. He scooted back farther, praying that whoever it was that he was talking to – demon or dream – they wouldn't say anything more specific.

"I don't have anything to discuss with you," Jin Ling said quietly.

Jin Guangyao's brow twitched. "In your own time, then."

He walked back to the lacquered chair in the corner and sat down.

"What time?" Jin Ling asked, his heart galloping so fast he could barely hear himself speak over the blood rushing in his ears. "If this is a dream, what more time will I have?"

Jin Guangyao's gaze softened. "Do you want me to stay with you?"

The answer came before Jin Ling could stop himself.

"Yes," he whispered.

He hated himself as soon as he'd said it. Huli jing or not, that should not have been his answer.

Jin Guangyao didn't act as though what he'd said had been strange at all. He leaned forward with a smile that adults often reserved for children when they were going to 'let them in on a little secret'.

"I can stay, you know," Jin Guangyao said. "If you let me stay, I can."

A chill washed over him, but Jin Ling decided to entertain the idea despite his wariness.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

There was a gleam in Jin Guangyao's eye. He leaned forward even further.

"Lend me your qi," he said. "Not all of it, just a little bit. It's all I need to stay with you."

Jin Ling's throat tightened. He shook his head.

"I want to be here for you, A-Ling," Jin Guangyao insisted. "It won't bring me back to life, but I'll be able to stay. I could help you with your new responsibilities. I could help you with anything, really. Don't you want that?"

"I want you to stop talking."

"Don't be rash, A-Ling," he continued. "You need your family."

"I have my family."

"Certainly," Jin Guangyao said bitterly. "Sect Leader Jiang cares for you now, but will he still once he knows who you really are?"

"Stop talking."

"Will he be able to look at you the same way once he realizes that, after all this time, you're following in the footsteps of Wei Wuxian and not his?"

"Stop…"

"You know what he'll do to you, don't you?" Jin Guangyao rose from the chair and moved slowly toward him. "There will be a high price to pay for tarnishing his family's name."

"Stop!"

"But I can protect you from him. I would protect you if you would just-"

"I SAID STOP TALKING!"

Jin Ling ripped Suihua from its scabbard and levelled it at Jin Guangyao. Jin Guangyao stopped dead in his tracks.

"A-Ling," he said testily, "Don't do something you'll regret. Put the sword down."

Suihua trembled in the air between them. The hilt was cold in his palm.

"This is my father's sword," Jin Ling said, voice breaking. "I won't put it down."

He tightened his grip. A rare flash of anger shone in Jin Guangyao's eyes like it used to when Jin Ling would throw tantrums as a child.

And just like then, it disappeared as quickly as it had come.

"Very well," Jin Guangyao said with a sigh. "You don't want to give me more time. I can't say that your decision isn't fair. But it does mean that I can't give you any more time either."

Lotus Pier was as it had been… exactly as it had been.

Jiang Cheng awoke in his bed. The little carving he and Wei Wuxian had made years ago stared down at him, just as ill-proportioned as he remembered it being.

They'd gotten in so much trouble for making that.

His fingers traced the divots in the wall. He wanted to take the dagger from his belt and cut out that stupid picture so he wouldn't have to look at it.

However, Jiang Cheng simply let his hand fall back into his lap and scowled.

He didn't touch the carving again.

"Oh good! You're awake."

As soon as he heard that voice, his entire body stilled.

Not in a tense way, as if with fear or anger. No, this was limp shock. He couldn't process what he'd heard.

"This can't be real," Jiang Cheng whispered.

"Of course not," his visitor said. "Even so, will you not look at me?"

"I can't…"

"You can."

His vision swam, making the carving in the wall shimmer and dance.

He heard his visitor walk across the room and stop beside his bed. Still, he wouldn't face her.

She knelt down on the floor.

A scent wafted over to him then – one that he'd grown only too familiar with over the years.

"You're going to have to try harder than that if you want me to believe this!" Jiang Cheng said, calling out loudly as if the huli jing was in the next room over. "She didn't smell like a fucking funeral!"

In his periphery, he saw his visitor fold her hands on the edge of his bed.

"I'm the echo of a memory," she said. "This is how you remember me, A-Cheng."

"That's not true."

Yanli was smiling at him when, at last, Jiang Cheng looked at her. Her eyes glistened. But still, she smiled.

Her long hair was drawn up and held tightly in place by expensive jade hairpins selected for her by Madam Jin. Her yellow silk hanfu fit perfectly to her form. The color marked her as part of the Jin family, but the lotus blossoms sewn along her neckline were an addition that Jin Zixuan had chosen for her.

Yanli looked like she had on the day she'd told him the good news: she was with child.

And she was as beautiful as she'd always been.

She reached up to touch Jiang Cheng's cheek, but he recoiled. Her smile faded away.

Despite his knowledge it was all a trick conjured by the huli jing, he almost grabbed her hand just to bring her smile back again.

"I forgot you don't like to be touched anymore," she said quietly.

"That's not-" He sighed. "What does it matter? You're not real."

"Real enough to hold you… if you'll let me."

Tentatively, she reached for him. This time, he sat rigidly in place until her fingers brushed his. Then, he pulled away again.

"You're cold," he breathed.

She nodded.

"I can't do this."

Jiang Cheng threw off the thin sheet that covered his legs. Yanli leaned forward like she was going to stop him, so he reached for Sandu's hilt.

"You won't do that," Yanli said softly.

He wanted to deny it. He wanted to yell at the thing pretending to be his sister and tell it that he absolutely would – that he knew it was fake and would kill it if it didn't let him pass.

But he couldn't. He could hardly even bear to glare at her.

"This isn't fair," he whispered, allowing his fingers to slip from his sword.

"For you?" she asked, not unkindly. "Or for me?"

He didn't have an answer for her.

She patted the bed, wordlessly asking him to stay. And he did. He knew better, but he did it anyway.

The smile returned to her face. "Tell me about my son," she said.

Jiang Cheng closed his eyes and shook his head.

"Does he love me? Does he love his father?" she asked.

Jiang Cheng said nothing.

"Or has he come to resent us for leaving him?"

"He doesn't resent you."

Yanli chuckled. "I guess I should have expected that," she said. "You wouldn't have allowed it."

Jiang Cheng opened his eyes again to frown at her. "What does that mean?"

She shrugged. "It means that this is how you remember me."

She plucked at the front of her dress.

"I don't understand," Jiang Cheng said.

"I don't even look like this!" she exclaimed, laughing though she didn't sound happy.

He was baffled. "Yes you did."

"No," she said. "You have erased all my flaws. I'm not even a full person in your mind anymore. I'm an idealization."

"That's-"

"And you've barely told A-Ling a thing about me," she said incredulously. Her words were becoming sharper by the minute. "How was he supposed to know me if you never told him anything?"

"I-"

"What little you did share with him was always a simpler, neater version of me. You never told him how Jin Zixuan and I fought. You never told him how I struggled to pick up the pieces between you and our brother-"

"He is not-"

"And, worst of all," she went on, talking over his interruption, "you never told him about the promise you and I made to each other because then you'd have to admit that A-Xian isn't the only one who goes back on his word."

"I don't have to sit here and listen to this."

Jiang Cheng flung his legs off the side of the bed. He stood and skirted around her, marching toward the door. Her accusations continued to cut him even though she hadn't yet said another word.

He seized the door and tried to throw it open, but it wouldn't budge. Even when he put his weight behind it or tried to kick it down, he couldn't leave.

He was trapped there with that thing that was not his sister.

"You didn't raise my son the way that I would have raised him," Yanli said calmly from the other side of the room. "You raised him the way that we were raised."

Jiang Cheng stopped fighting the door. He tried to think of something to say, something to defend himself, but there was nothing.

His arms dropped against his sides and he leaned forward, pressing his forehead against the wooden frame in front of him.

"I love you, A-Cheng," Yanli said softly. "Really, I do. But I hate you for that. And if I could trade our places, I would. If only to be there for Jin Ling in all the ways that you weren't willing to be."

Jiang Cheng let out a long shaky breath. "I would too," he whispered.

"What?"

He turned around.

Yanli was exactly where he'd left her, kneeling beside the bed with a gentle smile. She watched him with that look of hers, like when she was waiting for him to come to the truth of something on his own.

Very rarely did she put words in his mouth. She'd never told him how he felt or how he should feel.

He knew she wanted him to say it again. Not for her sake, but for his. So he could comprehend what he'd said and commit to it fully or change his mind if he wanted to.

"I would trade with you," Jiang Cheng said, "– no, I would trade with her if I could."

Yanli's smile grew… and grew… and grew, until it stretched impossibly far up the sides of her face to her ears, practically splitting her head in half.

"So close," she said, her voice becoming two. "That was so close to permission."

Jiang Cheng backed away from her. His hand migrated to Sandu once more.

"I just can't hold this illusion forever," Yanli said, getting up and walking toward him with jerky movements. "Though, it would be so much fun if I could."

"Stay away."

"Or what?" she asked. "You'll hit me like you did the first time I found you choking on a nightmare?"

She kept coming toward him, each step becoming more corpse-like than the last.

"You're not her," he said. "You're not her."

"You and I both know that. Who exactly are you trying to convince? Or are you just working up the courage to kill me?"

With slow determination, Jiang Cheng drew Sandu. Yanli's face reverted back to normal. Her movements became fluid and natural again.

She pressed two fingers to her own throat.

"Right here," she said. "You can't miss."

"You're not her."

"I deserved to be more than just a motivator for you to forsake our brother," Yanli said, voice shaking with rage. "I tried to keep us all together. I spent my entire life just trying to save you both from yourselves! Do you have any idea what I gave up for you two?! That should have been my meaning!

"But I didn't have any control over that after I was gone. And you wasted no time corrupting my memory, did you? Just like you wasted no time in corrupting my son."

When she took another step forward, so did he. Jiang Cheng aimed the blade at her heart but didn't lunge.

"You're really going to do it, aren't you?" she asked, heartbroken.

Yanli came to a halt well within striking range. All he had to do was follow through.

"Not so different from what actually happened though, is it?" she said. "If you'd kept your promise, maybe things would have been better. Maybe you wouldn't have been alone in the end."

"No," Jiang Cheng said through gritted teeth. "It would have ended the same."

She frowned at him, pity written into every crease of her brow.

"When given the choice, you will always choose to be alone," she said. "That's why I know you'll kill me now."

Jiang Cheng laughed harshly, drawing back his sword. "You're right. I would rather be alone than keep the company of a demon."

He lunged forward, intending to send Sandu through her chest quickly and be done with it.

But it was as if his blade hit an invisible obstacle. It redirected upward, and instead of going through her heart, it plunged into her neck, exactly where she'd pointed before.

A horrible rattling accompanied her next breath. Scarlet frothed in her mouth.

Jiang Cheng dropped Sandu and quickly looked away. He wasn't going to watch her die like that. Not again.

Sandu clattered loudly on the wooden floor. An equally loud thud followed shortly after.

Still, Jiang Cheng wouldn't look, even when he felt something touch his foot.

The voice of Xue Yang, no longer mingled with Yanli's, now echoed all around him.

"I think I've kept you distracted long enough," he said. "Time to wake up."

The edges of Jiang Cheng's vision began to darken. He stumbled, suddenly feeling unsteady on his feet.

Without thinking, he looked down to try to regain his bearings and caught sight of his sister sprawled on the floor, her arm outstretched toward him.

After that, there was no point in trying to remain upright.

He sank to the ground beside her. Though he wanted to hold her in his arms, he couldn't bring himself to touch her – not this awful twisted version of her that uttered truths that Yanli herself never would have said.

So, he passed up his last chance to hold her and let nauseating dizziness claim him.

Cheap shots. All of them. Well, the ones he could see anyway.

Wei Wuxian wiggled in discomfort. He was battered and bruised and kneeling on the cobblestones in the large plaza of the Wens' former estate, the same one they'd been in before the explosion. His hands were bound behind his back with coarse rope and a complicated array was painted in what he could only assume to be blood around him.

He wasn't going anywhere unless he found something sharp enough to cut his bindings, which didn't seem likely to happen anytime soon.

Neither Suibian nor Chenqing would respond to his call. They remained fastened to his belt, useless.

Across from him was a different set of arrays that held Jin Ling, Jiang Cheng, Sizhui, and Jingyi. None of them seemed able to see or hear anything outside of their bubble. Admittedly, Wei Wuxian could only really see and hear Jin Ling and Jiang Cheng and the little circles of Jinlintai and Lotus Pier that held each of them respectively.

The details of the strange dream arrays became flimsy and indistinct the farther away the array was placed from him. So, although Wei Wuxian could see Sizhui and Jingyi, he couldn't see the dreams that trapped them and he couldn't hear what they were saying.

If he had to guess, though, Lan Zhan and Lan Xichen were able to see their disciples just fine.

The Lan brothers were each in an array of their own and restrained in a similar fashion to Wei Wuxian. They seemed very aware of what was happening around them. Lan Xichen had the look of a man who was trying very hard to remain calm whereas his brother did nothing to conceal his frigid scowl.

The three of them - Wei Wuxian, Lan Zhan, and Lan Xichen - were spaced far enough apart that they wouldn't be able to speak to one another nor pass anything between them without alerting their captor.

And their captor was certainly paying attention.

All smiles and practically brimming with delight in front of them was the form of Xue Yang. He bounced up and down the line of his lucid prisoners, paying very little attention to the illusion work he maintained behind him.

"What do you think?" he asked, locking eyes with Wei Wuxian. "Impressive, isn't it? I never would have been this powerful in life. But now? I feel like I could do anything!"

"Then why not have us all in dreams like that?" Wei Wuxian asked, nodding toward Jin Ling who was sitting as still as a statue across from Jin Guangyao.

Wei Wuxian refused to acknowledge the fake Yanli nearby. He couldn't.

The huli jing's lip twitched in contempt.

"I can still only hold so many illusions at once," he said bitterly. "I picked the ones I thought would be easiest."

"Ah, so we still can't quite do everything, huh?"

Murderous intent flashed in his eyes. Wei Wuxian had to try very hard not to laugh. He'd almost forgotten how easy it was to rile Xue Yang and this huli jing mimicked him perfectly.

Now, if he could get him to step into the array, he might be able to work out an escape. But that depended on the huli jing's willingness to play the part accurately.

Wei Wuxian was confident in his ability to trick Xue Yang. But this demon? It may prove to be more difficult. That is, if Wei Wuxian's theory about it was correct.

He just had to be careful not to make it obvious what he was trying to do.

"Once I have the power of each of you, nothing will be able to stop me," the huli jing said.

"You think that with our power, you'll be able to bring back Xiao Xingchen?" Wei Wuxian asked.

He watched closely for the huli jing's reaction and was ultimately disappointed. His face didn't change one bit.

"I'll be able to do anything."

Vague. Almost vague enough to mean nothing.

"Do you no longer care about Xiao Xingchen?" Wei Wuxian asked.

The huli jing leaned in close to the border of his array. Wei Wuxian waited with bated breath, but the demon just barely remained outside of it.

"I never cared about Xiao Xingchen," he snarled. "If you would take the time to pay attention to what's right in front of you, maybe you would have already pieced toget-"

"No, no," Wei Wuxian said, waving his hand dismissively even though it was tied behind his back where the huli jing wouldn't be able to see it. "I get it. You're going to torture us by making us watch you torture them. Yes, very creative."

The huli jing shrugged. "It doesn't have to be creative. It just has to be effective."

He cast a pointed look at Lan Zhan, who was paying them very little attention. He was watching Sizhui, brow creased.

Beside him, Lan Xichen was seeming quite distracted too, but it was hard to tell exactly where he was looking.

"And you thought it would be most effective to use the children… why?" Wei Wuxian asked. "They've been less susceptible to the miasma. Why would you have-?"

"Ah," the huli jing said. "The regrettable truth is that regardless of cultivation skill, all are affected by the aura of this place. However, skill matters very much in how direct hallucinatory arrays function."

"So, children and…"

The huli jing chuckled. "I won't say that the cultivation base of Sect Leader Jiang is unimpressive. I'm actually having to expend more effort than I originally predicted. But, when it comes to convincing Sect Leader Jiang of something, it seems that if he has at least mildly suspected it himself, he needs very little persuasion to believe it."

Wei Wuxian grimaced. True as that may be, he could only imagine Jiang Cheng's reaction to hearing such an accusation.

He made a note to himself to make sure no one else told him what the huli jing had said.

"So you steal their power first by tricking them into giving it to you," Wei Wuxian said. "And then with their power, you'll be strong enough to do the same to the rest of us?"

"Something like that."

Wei Wuxian laughed. "If you're not strong enough as you currently are, you must be delusional to think that the qi of four more people is going to make the difference. It's time to face facts: you're just not strong enough."

That should have been sufficiently offensive to send Xue Yang into a rage. He'd called him delusional and weak! The only way he could have made it worse would have been to suggest he cared about Xiao Xingchen again.

But the huli jing only smirked.

It wasn't enough to prove anything. But it did seem like Wei Wuxian's theory was holding more ground, which also meant he would have to think a little harder about how to get out of his array.

"None of them seem to believe you," Lan Xichen said quietly. "You don't even deny to them that what they're seeing isn't real. I don't understand how this is supposed to work."

The very quick look cast in his direction told Wei Wuxian all that he needed to know. Lan Xichen was buying him time, likely because he'd already tried to figure out how to free himself and had failed.

"If you watch, you'll see," the huli jing said.

There was a slight difference in the way he spoke to Lan Xichen compared to how he spoke to Wei Wuxian… or maybe he was imagining it.

No matter. He needed to focus on something else.

As Lan Xichen began to ask questions about how the magic worked, Wei Wuxian inspected the characters painted on the cobblestones by his knees.

That was when he realized it wasn't one large array that held him in place, but many arrays painted one on top of another, always careful not to cross brush strokes. It actually seemed that only one was painted with blood. The others were made with the more traditional cinnabar paint.

In all, there were three that held him, each with slightly different functions, but all would ultimately hold him within the very outer circle.

Two of them he was confident that he could break. The last didn't have any obvious answer.

He also needed to be careful not to alert the huli jing to the fact that he'd damaged any of the arrays until he could break them all. Which probably meant he couldn't break any until he'd solved the last.

Blood… forceful use of spiritual energy… and…?

When he visualized it in his mind, he thought a simple seal breaking array might be able to do it. But something troubled him. It seemed too easy.

It wasn't even easy per se. It would require that he destroy the other two arrays before that last one. And he would have very little time to draw what he needed to.

But he was certain it wouldn't work. He had no proof as to why. He simply knew it wouldn't.

The sound of his name distracted Wei Wuxian from his task.

"-then you'd have to admit that A-Xian isn't the only one who goes back on his word."

He'd missed the beginning of what the fake Yanli had said, but it must have had some awful truth to it… a lot of truth to it. Nothing else could make Jiang Cheng look quite like that.

Wei Wuxian glanced at the Lans.

Lan Zhan was motionless, watching Sizhui as closely as a frightened parent might watch their child perform a dangerous task. Lan Xichen was beginning to sound desperate in his conversation with the huli jing. He was struggling to hold his attention.

There was no doubt in his mind that Wei Wuxian was running out of time. But the answer wasn't just going to drop out of the sky.

He had two choices: take a chance and try to break the arrays now or wait longer to think on the last one.

There were enormous risks either way. But it seemed that they still had a little time… just a little.

Wei Wuxian would wait. For now.

This time, it hurt to wake up. He ached all over, from his head to his toes. But sore as he may be, he couldn't stay there.

Jin Ling rubbed his neck and shakily got to his feet. His thumb brushed against the hilt of Suihua and he felt a little safer knowing that his weapon hadn't been taken from him while he was unconscious. He reached down for his clarity bell before remembering that he'd given his to Sizhui before they'd entered Nightless City.

"Jiujiu!" he yelled. "…no, wait."

What was the point of calling for anyone? How would he know for sure that they were who they claimed to be? How did he know he was really awake now? His dream before had felt just as real.

"Jin Ling? Is that you?"

He bit his lip. Should he answer Wei Wuxian? Was that Wei Wuxian at all?

"Jin Ling? Sizhui?" Wei Wuxian called. "Can you hear me? Are you all right?"

Jin Ling shook his head and started to back away from the voice. Something didn't add up.

It seemed very unlikely that Wei Wuxian would resort to shouting to locate him. He was a powerful cultivator. He would probably use a stealthier, more efficient tactic.

Plus, it just didn't quite sound like him. The voice that had spoken was different… detached somehow.

"Jin Ling?"

This was not Wei Wuxian.

He took another step back and ran smack into something solid.

Jin Ling gasped, but before he could cry out, a hand came up to cover his mouth. He squirmed furiously, but his captor held fast. The hand over his mouth pressed so hard that it pinched his lip between his tooth and the ring on the index finger of his captor.

"Would you stop that?" Jiang Cheng hissed in his ear. "That thing will hear you."

"Mmmffffmmmmnnnffff?"

"I'm not kidding," Jiang Cheng snarled. "I will throw you to it if you can't hold still."

"Jin Liiiiing!" Wei Wuxian's voice called again, now sounding very… off. "Jin Ling, are you over there?"

It was coming toward them. His blood ran cold.

"Fuck," Jiang Cheng whispered as he pulled Jin Ling backward with him.

"You have to be over here somewhere," Wei Wuxian said. This time, he sounded farther away.

"I'm going to take my hand off your mouth," Jiang Cheng hissed. "But I won't hesitate to knock you out if you can't be quiet."

As promised, he released him. Jin Ling rubbed his numb lip and turned around to glower at his uncle.

The huli jing continued to call for him, but its voice grew fainter and fainter until it could barely be heard at all.

They had avoided it… for now.

Jin Ling wondered whether or not he should speak, seeing as he'd already been threatened with unconsciousness if he made too much noise.

He decided his uncle could knock him out if he could catch him. He had something to say.

"How do I know that you are who you appear to be?" he whispered.

Jiang Cheng scowled and pinched the bridge of his nose. "And just how am I supposed to prove myself?"

"I guess… tell me something that Xue Yang wouldn't know."

"What would you know that he doesn't?" Jiang Cheng said. "Xue Yang has already messed around in my head. There's no way for me to prove anything to you."

Avoiding having to say anything personal about himself plus several annoyed mannerisms – this certainly seemed like his uncle. It would be difficult for Xue Yang, someone who had never met nor spoken to Jiang Cheng in life, to capture his likeness so completely.

Then again, it was true that Xue Yang had been in his uncle's head. Maybe that alone would tell him enough about him.

Jin Ling was maybe sixty-five percent sure that the man before him was actually his uncle. But time would tell. He just needed to be careful.

"Well how do you know that it's me?" he asked. "Do you still have your clarity bell?"

Jiang Cheng raised one eyebrow in his unamused 'are you really that stupid' look.

Jin Ling was now seventy percent sure it was him.

"The demon took it," Jiang Cheng said. "I knew it was you because you didn't seek me out like Xue Yang probably would have. You were standing in one place, actually thinking for once in your life. Even so, it seemed like you were still going to run off toward Wei Wuxian."

"I was not!"

Jiang Cheng seized him by the collar. "Have you lost your fucking mind?" he hissed. "Keep your voice down!"

"All right, all right!" Jin Ling whispered in frustration, knocking his uncle's hand away. "I'm sorry!"

Jiang Cheng's face hardened then. A storm was brewing in his gray eyes.

" You could tell me something that Xue Yang wouldn't know," he said. "There must be some secret that you need to get off your chest."

He'd said the last part almost accusatorily. Jin Ling frowned.

"I don't have anything like that," he said. "And even if I did, what use would it have in proving myself to you? It would have to be something that you already know, not something for me to get off my chest."

"Who's to say I don't already know it?"

"You're not making any sense."

Jiang Cheng rolled his eyes. "We'll discuss it once we get out of this fog. Come on."

A rising feeling of dread crept into Jin Ling's heart as his uncle dragged him off in a seemingly random direction. Did Jiang Cheng know the secret he'd been hiding from him?

Jiang Cheng clutched his throbbing head. He lay there on the ground for several moments, trying to get his headache under control, but it wouldn't go away.

And neither would the image of Yanli lying bleeding on the floor.

"Forget it," Jiang Cheng muttered to himself. "It wasn't real. None of it was real."

But it didn't have to be real to bother him. And it didn't help that the miasma had him breathing in the smell of death and burning buildings.

Still in pain but unwilling to become the first meal for the huli jing, Jiang Cheng sat up and took in his surroundings. Which is to say, he stared at a blank wall of mist.

He checked to make sure the demon hadn't stolen anything from him and found his clarity bell and the jade talisman still in place. His qiankun pouch was there, but it was empty. No medicine. No talismans. And no paper to link to anyone.

"Oh for fuck's sake," Jiang Cheng whispered.

But Sandu was still at his waist and Zidian could only have been removed if the huli jing had taken his finger.

Really, all of the items left to him would have taken a good amount of effort to steal. Emptying his qiankun pouch was pretty costly too. In that regard, he should have been pleased to find things missing. It meant they were that much closer to wearing Xue Yang down.

He just needed to focus on getting out of the fog. But before that, he needed to find Jin Ling.

"Jiang Cheng?" A familiar voice called from somewhere in front of him.

He opened his mouth to answer, but closed it again quickly.

There was no reason that Lan Xichen would search for him first. They'd been positioned farthest away from one another. He would probably look for Lan Wangji or his disciples before anyone else.

And beyond that, he and Jiang Cheng had reverted to formal addresses ever since…

It wasn't him. This was a trick.

He turned on his heel and stalked off in the opposite direction, keeping his eyes peeled for any sign of Jin Ling.

It was a good thing that he was already familiar with Nightless City. He was able to follow a lot of the paths through the enormous plaza from memory, but he did still occasionally bump into empty carts or trip over short garden walls.

"A-Xian!"

Jiang Cheng froze. He looked around but couldn't see anything through the oppressive gray.

A stifling silence cocooned him. He could hardly see his hand in front of his face, and yet, he felt exposed.

"A-Xian!"

He hated this fucking place.

Jiang Cheng shook his head and continued on through the mist. Since he'd gotten distracted, he'd forgotten where he was in the plaza and proceeded to hit his side against lantern posts thrice in quick succession.

The last knocked him to the ground. His palms slapped the stone hard, jolting his arm that already ached from the memory of an old fracture.

Even if the huli jing didn't come to kill him, he was beginning to think that with enough time, the miasma would do that for him. The air around him was thick and suffocating. He hurt everywhere that he'd ever been wounded. Jiang Cheng almost wished to be returned to the dream before, terrible as it had been, just to escape this misery.

But he couldn't go back to sleep. Not now. Not when he knew Jin Ling was still out there, lost somewhere.

Jiang Cheng picked himself up and continued on through the fog, knowing full well that it was probably pointless to keep wandering around. He wasn't going to find anyone this way. He needed to think of a way to look for the others without shouting for them.

Either everyone else had had the same thought, or the huli jing had spread them so far apart from one another that Jiang Cheng couldn't hear anyone else… except for that voice in his imagination.

And his imagination only began to make things worse.

He saw faces in the mist in front of him – family, friends, acquaintances, and enemies. The only thing they all had in common was that they were all long dead.

His gait changed over time from normal, to stiff, to a downright limp.

He knew his leg wasn't broken. It hadn't been broken in years. But the damn miasma was playing tricks on him, turning his mind against him. So, it didn't matter that his leg was unharmed. It functioned like it was broken, so it may as well have been.

His chest stung from the strike of a discipline whip. Deep sword slashes in his back kept him from leaning forward too far. Bruising on his stomach, a blackened eye, broken bones, dislocated fingers, and internal wounds he tried so hard to ignore that he focused on every other imagined injury…

"Wei Wuxian is probably moving around with no trouble," Jiang Cheng growled as he stopped to lean against a low stone wall. "I'm not going to be the first to quit. I won't."

It didn't matter what he said. It still hurt to move. And comparing himself to Wei Wuxian only added further insult to injury. He felt even more inadequate than he had before. Especially as he lowered himself down to sit with his back against the wall.

"A-Xian!"

Jiang Cheng shook his head. "I can't do this."

He'd half-expected the huli jing to appear before him just to mock his weakness. But no one came.

That was almost worse.

He took a few breaths to try to steady himself but managed only to aggravate his not-broken ribs. How was he supposed to fight like this?

"Please," came a faint voice suddenly. "Can anyone hear me? Please help."

Jiang Cheng knew who that was.

Instantly, he was back on his feet, looking around wildly for a shadow, a movement, anything that he could follow.

"A-Ling?" he said tentatively. "Where are you?"

He waited for an answer…

When none came, he sighed and said, "Stay where you are. I'm coming."

"Okay haha Xue Yang," Wei Wuxian said flippantly. "You've had your fun. This is getting ridiculous."

He couldn't see very well what was happening with the Lan juniors. Sizhui was lying on his stomach, motionless. Jingyi, however, was wandering around, seemingly just annoyed by what was happening. He kept throwing his hands up in the air in outrage.

Wei Wuxian wished he could hear what he was saying. And he wished he could reach Sizhui. But the most he could do was keep playing along while he tried to figure out how best to break the last array.

Jiang Cheng and Jin Ling he could see clearly. And both had been led to believe they'd woken from their dream and were now in the real world. Yet they didn't seem aware that they stood mere meters apart. They were more preoccupied with the shadows that called to them.

"Have I touched a nerve already?" the huli jing asked, leaning close to him but again not close enough to reach.

The features of Xue Yang were becoming… blurred. That was the best way to describe it. The corners of his mouth and the high bridge of his nose were becoming less exaggerated. The malicious gleam in his eye was replaced by something even more wild and feral. And a silvery haze enveloped his skin.

If Wei Wuxian wasn't mistaken, the huli jing was losing its form, most likely from expending so much energy on the four illusions.

This would also mean that his theory was right. They'd been wrong about the demon from the start.

It wasn't Xue Yang.

"How would you know this?" Lan Xichen asked breathlessly.

The huli jing turned his attention away from Wei Wuxian and on to him instead.

Both Lan Xichen and Lan Zhan were looking in Jingyi's direction, except that they weren't watching him. Their gaze was fixed in one spot, some part of Jingyi's dream that Wei Wuxian couldn't see.

"You couldn't know this," Lan Xichen said in the same dazed manner, without looking away from the dream. "Few are allowed access to the Room of Forbidden Books. Even Jingyi would have no way of knowing what this room looks like."

When Wei Wuxian saw the flicker of hatred on Lan Zhan's face, he knew he'd figured it out too. He shifted a little closer to his brother even though he wouldn't be able to reach him across the arrays.

One moment, the huli jing stood in front of Wei Wuxian, listening to Lan Xichen with a faint smile on his lips, and the next, it appeared in front of Lan Xichen, that smile grown even wider.

"I must say," the huli jing drawled, "I'm a little disappointed it took you so long to see me."

Lan Xichen didn't say a word. He kept watching Jingyi, his skin much paler than it had been before.

"Won't you look at me?"

"You are undeserving of his notice," Lan Zhan hissed in answer to the huli jing.

The huli jing didn't react to him. In fact, he had paid Lan Zhan very little attention since the beginning.

"Despite how I have acted," the huli jing said, "I don't get any sort of satisfaction from this."

Lan Xichen closed his eyes, brow knit together. "What do you want, Jin Guangyao?"

"I will ask for it," Jin Guangyao, still in the form of Xue Yang, murmured, "but not yet."

His fingernails bit into the heels of his palms as Wei Wuxian clenched his fists.

Jin Guangyao had something very specific that he wanted but would wait to ask for it? That only meant he needed more time to break them down and make them willing to hear his request. Their torture was guaranteed until he thought they were getting somewhere.

For most situations, Wei Wuxian felt confident that he could pretend well enough to buy time while he continued to try to solve his array problem.

But this? He would have had to pretend well enough to fool one of the best actors he'd ever seen – second only to Huaisang. He wished his suspicions had been wrong.

More than that, it would have been best to pretend to be bothered by the hallucinations tormenting the others at times when the illusions weren't so awful. That way, when Jin Guangyao inevitably exaggerated that same dream, it would cause the least amount of harm.

The trouble was, from what he'd seen so far – Jin Ling's confrontation with Jin Guangyao and Jiang Cheng with Yanli – they were effective. They were horrible. And to make Jin Guangyao double down on either of those…

He suppressed a shudder.

No. Acting wasn't the best answer. In fact, he needed to keep it to a minimum so that any lie he did need to tell would be sandwiched by truth and thus would be more believable.

"Please don't do this," Lan Xichen breathed. He was looking more and more distraught. "I don't understand."

"I know you don't," Jin Guangyao said almost lovingly. "You never did. But I appreciate how hard you tried."

Wei Wuxian felt quite sure that had there been no barrier between them, Lan Zhan would not have hesitated to tear Jin Guangyao apart. Rarely had he seen him regard anyone with such contempt.

When Wei Wuxian checked back on Jiang Cheng and saw what awaited him in the mist, he blurted out, "Oh come on! Really?"

He'd expected some reaction from the others, but he hadn't quite anticipated that all attention would suddenly turn to him. Why did that always happen to him?

"I admit," Jin Guangyao said, holding up his hands as he made his way back over to Wei Wuxian, "it's a little over-the-top. But I think that's fitting for the sect leader, don't you?"

"Whatever."

"Nice try," Jin Guangyao whispered, leaning close but not too close. "I already know this bothers you." He pointed back at Jiang Cheng. "We're going to run that scenario for sure."

"If you say so," Wei Wuxian replied, trying his best to sound nonchalant.

"I do."

Done.

Jin Guangyao floated away from him. Despite having been found out already, he maintained his disguise as Xue Yang as he wandered around them. Either Jin Guangyao or a fox form would have been considered his normal form and would require him to expend no energy. Yet, he continued to walk around as Xue Yang. Why?

Had he perhaps not used as much energy as he wanted them to believe? Had he only wanted to reveal his identity to them? But why? That didn't make any sense.

Wei Wuxian supposed that didn't matter at the moment.

He had chosen to lock Jiang Cheng's torment in before Jin Guangyao could switch to something else. But this choice he'd made… the trial that awaited Jiang Cheng in the mist… Wei Wuxian was quite certain that it could break him.

But he was also certain that there were many memories and scenarios that could break him.

Jiang Cheng had plenty of truly horrifying memories to choose from. And there were some that Wei Wuxian couldn't bear to relive with him.

So, he'd chosen this, a fantasy, with the hopes that it would take some time to wear Jiang Cheng down first.

And in that time, Wei Wuxian would figure out how to break the final array. He had to.

* CONTENT WARNING (violent homophobia) *

Jin Ling followed his uncle through the plaza of Nightless City. He seemed to know exactly where he was going, which wasn't too surprising given the fact that Jiang Cheng had visited and fought in Nightless City on multiple occasions.

He wondered briefly exactly where his mother had drawn her final breath.

"Shouldn't we be looking for the others, Jiujiu?" he asked quietly.

"No," Jiang Cheng said. "We would spend too much time trying to verify that they are who they say they are. Besides," he went on with a sigh, "we shouldn't stay in the huli jing's domain. We underestimated it. We can't fight it here. We'd be more likely to kill each other than the creature."

That made sense to him. He was still only seventy percent sure of Jiang Cheng's authenticity.

Right turn, keep to the left past the vendors' carts, go straight, keep going straight, follow this sign, now that sign. Jin Ling was horribly lost. They weren't going in circles, but the path was so long and winding and the architecture was so similar throughout, that their journey gave every sense of hopelessness that a circular path would have.

"Almost there," Jiang Cheng said, a little out of breath. "Xue Yang can't possibly extend this fog past the city limits."

As soon as he'd finished speaking, the fog cleared. Jin Ling turned around to catch a glimpse of the front gates of Nightless City through the shifting mist behind them.

Jiang Cheng walked around, peeking through the trees and around corners. Looking frustrated, he came back to stand beside Jin Ling.

"The others haven't made it yet," he said.

Jin Ling felt a twinge of concern. "Maybe we should go back in to get them. You can lead us back out again."

Jiang Cheng scowled. "And then you and I get separated again? No," he said, "the others will be fine. Zewu-jun, Hanguang-jun, and Wei Wuxian are still in there. Your little friends aren't alone."

There was that bite of accusation in his tone again. Jin Ling looked down at his feet.

"Even now, you won't own up to it?" Jiang Cheng growled.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Jin Ling said fiercely, forcing himself to meet his uncle's gaze.

It was probably something stupid that he'd learned. Some secret of Jin Ling's that wasn't really important but was annoying enough to Jiang Cheng for him to bring it up.

He was easy to annoy.

"You have nothing to tell me about those friends of yours, then?" Jiang Cheng asked. "Nothing at all?"

The blood drained from Jin Ling's face. No. He couldn't know. Could he?

"Uh," Jin Ling said, trying to sound as perplexed and frustrated as possible, "I still don't know what you're talking about. And now I'm starting to think you might be Xue Yang. My uncle isn't so passive aggressive. He says what he means."

"I'm giving you the chance to fess up, brat," Jiang Cheng snapped, his face turning red. "How dare you compare me to that monster."

It acted like him, for sure. And Jiang Cheng had seemed suspicious of some of Jin Ling's interactions with the Lans.

But he'd also seemed content to ignore it. Why would he bring it up now?

"So?" Jiang Cheng prompted him. "Do you have anything to say?"

To further argue his point that the Jiang Cheng speaking to him could be a huli jing, Jin Ling could have pointed out that Suihua had been with him the whole time and that any conversation held before Wei Wuxian had fixed the sword was a conversation that the huli jing could have heard. So, there were things that only the demon would know.

But to say that would have been as good as admitting that there was indeed something that Jiang Cheng didn't know about him.

And… this was different than the dream with Jin Guangyao. Somehow, this really did seem to be Jiang Cheng. He felt more real, in a sense. Jin Ling needed to be careful about what he said.

"No," Jin Ling said. "I don't have anything to say about them. And it's really weird that you're choosing this moment to-"

Jiang Cheng struck Jin Ling across the face so hard that he was sent reeling backward. Jin Ling pressed a trembling hand to his cheek, too shocked to move.

"Allow me to be less passive about it, then!" Jiang Cheng bellowed, stepping forward to seize the front of Jin Ling's robes. "Is it no longer a big deal to you?! You seemed frightened at the time when you saw me watching you interact with him… that Lan disciple!"

"Jiujiu, that's – you must have misunderstood," Jin Ling squeaked. "The Lans are my friends. I don't understand what issue-"

Jiang Cheng hit him again, even harder than last time. Jin Ling stumbled and fell. His vision swam.

"Jiujiu, this is ridiculous," Jin Ling sobbed. "I don't understand!"

"You are begging for the whip, brat," Jiang Cheng barked. "Stop fucking lying to me. I know how you feel about that Lan boy."

His jaw had to be broken. It hurt terribly to open it to speak. But he needed to speak. He had to say something to calm his uncle down.

But what could he say? If he continued to deny everything, Jiang Cheng was only going to get angrier.

All he could do was pray that this wasn't the real Jiang Cheng and that the real one wasn't hearing any of this.

"It's nothing!" Jin Ling said at last. "I kissed Lan Jingyi! But I was drunk! It was a stupid dare! I'm not a cut sleeve! I was humiliated and went to Luo Qingyang because I knew you'd act like this! That's why we've all been acting strangely!"

"Not what it seems like to me," Jiang Cheng said. "Your gaze lingers on him longer than anyone else. You think me oblivious?"

How long had Jiang Cheng been watching him? Was this Jiang Cheng? Jin Ling would have been indignant if he wasn't so scared.

"Jiujiu, please!"

"I raised you better than this," Jiang Cheng said, advancing on him again and twisting Zidian around his finger. "You've shamed your parents. You lied to me here in the very place your mother died!"

Jiang Cheng towered over him. The air around him sparked fervently. His face was contorted with such contempt that Jin Ling could hardly bear to look at him.

"Did I spoil you too much as a child?" he asked. "Should I have kept an even closer eye on you when you were younger? Arranged a marriage for you?" Jiang Cheng shook his head in disappointment. "I knew you forgave Wei Wuxian, but I didn't think you were going to try to be him!"

"It won't happen again, Jiujiu!" Jin Ling promised, tears now flowing freely down his face. "I'm so sorry! It won't happen again, I swear!"

"Was it just the once?" Jiang Cheng asked.

Jin Ling nodded earnestly. "Just once!"

He didn't buy it.

Jiang Cheng's boot connected squarely with Jin Ling's chest. He was laid out flat on his back, gasping.

"Liar."

He knelt beside him. Jin Ling tried to scoot away, but it hurt so much to move. And still, he wasn't sure if any of it was real or not.

"Should I send you to your mother?" Jiang Cheng asked coolly. "Maybe you'll be more forthcoming with her."

"Jiujiu, you're scaring me," Jin Ling cried. "Please."

He reached for Suihua but Jiang Cheng caught his hand and wrenched his fingers back at an odd angle. With a dull pop, several of his joints were dislocated. Jin Ling screamed.

"Stop! Stop! Please stop!" he begged, half-shouting and half-crying. "It doesn't have to mean anything! Please stop! I'll do anything!"

Jiang Cheng's expression darkened. Jin Ling was digging his own grave.

"So you admit it meant something?" Jiang Cheng said. "At least you're finally being honest."

How were we the first to escape? Jin Ling wondered. Where are the others? I don't care who hears our conversation. Someone please help me!

"Jiujiu, please…"

* END CONTENT WARNING *

Every time Jiang Cheng got close to Jin Ling's voice, he sounded farther away again.

He knew it was probably a trap, but he couldn't abandon him unless he was absolutely certain.

If only he could link to him to be sure.

"Is that really you, Jiujiu?" Jin Ling called, his voice sounding more strained by the second. "Is this another trick?"

"It's me, Jin Ling," Jiang Cheng answered, throwing caution to the wind.

If it was fake, he was endangering himself by being so loud. If it was real, Jin Ling was endangering himself by shouting for him, so it wouldn't matter if Jiang Cheng was being loud too. He'd already decided that he would protect this Jin Ling until he could prove that he wasn't real. So what did he have to lose?

"I need help, Jiujiu, please" Jin Ling said, his voice cracking. "Why do you keep moving away?"

It wasn't like Jin Ling to beg like this, but if he was gravely injured, Jiang Cheng supposed it wasn't outside the realm of possibility.

And that possibility made his heart stand still.

"I can't figure out how to find you in this," Jiang Cheng said with frustration. "What's wrong? Are you hurt?"

Silence.

"Jin Ling? Are you still there? Tell me what's wrong."

Silence again.

"Jin Ling, answer me! What's wrong?"

This time, he heard a thwap, like someone had dropped something on the flagstones.

The quiet that followed made him uneasy, and Jiang Cheng crouched as he continued toward where he'd last heard his nephew's voice.

He didn't have to go far before he saw a pale outstretched hand lying palm up in front of him. He couldn't see much else through the mist except the very end of a yellow sleeve cuff.

Jiang Cheng ran the rest of the way to Jin Ling who was sprawled across the ground, skin ashen. His breathing was labored and his eyelids fluttered as he fought to remain conscious.

Protruding from his stomach was the golden hilt of the ritualistic dagger Xue Yang had flashed in front of them before. Jin Ling's blood painted the stone around him in a brilliant red that continued to creep outward.

"Jin Ling?" Jiang Cheng said as he carefully pulled his nephew into his arms. "Jin Ling, look at me."

Jin Ling looked around, his gaze a little out of focus, as if he could hear his uncle but couldn't see him.

"I need you to concentrate," Jiang Cheng said, picking the stray hairs that were stuck to the sweat on his face in an effort to gently annoy him enough to keep him awake. "You need to stay with me."

"I'm trying," Jin Ling croaked. His eyes finally locked on Jiang Cheng and his muscles tensed with his new determination to stay alive.

"Good. Keep looking at me."

This is fake.

Jin Ling shuddered but did as he was asked. Jiang Cheng couldn't help but notice how blue his lips had become.

What if it isn't?

"This is going to hurt," Jiang Cheng said, "but you have to try your best to lie still."

Jin Ling nodded. His brow scrunched in preparation.

Jiang Cheng carefully laid him back down on the street. That movement alone caused him to wince.

So, he knew this next part was going to be miserable.

He placed his hands on either side of the dagger and pressed down firmly to stem the bleeding. Jin Ling gasped. Crimson rose around Jiang Cheng's fingers, staining his mother's ring with the blood of her grandson.

Jiang Cheng pressed harder. The pitiful sound that came from his nephew was one that he prayed he would never hear again.

"Lie still," he said as Jin Ling began to struggle weakly against him. "This has to be done."

"I can't… please stop… I can't… please, Jiujiu… please…"

He struggled to breathe and so, too, did Jiang Cheng. It felt like someone was gripping his throat. He dared not meet Jin Ling's gaze. He kept his eyes trained on the knife and the wound around it, trying to imagine he was helping someone else… anyone else.

This is fake.

Jin Ling kept begging him to stop, his voice getting fainter and his movements weaker.

What if it's not?

"It's okay," Jiang Cheng said, as if speaking the words could make it true. "You're going to be fine. We need a Lan to help heal you, that's all."

"They don't heal things like this," Jin Ling murmured. "It's my own fault. I didn't see him coming for me. I'm so sorry."

He couldn't bear to listen to this.

"I shouldn't have let you come along," Jiang Cheng said. "But you're going to be fine. The Lans have more knowledge about curse removal, but they know a thing or two about wounds, trust me."

If this was fake, yelling for help wouldn't bring any more danger than Jiang Cheng was already in. If this was real, he risked attracting a fake Lan to help them. And if he did nothing, Jin Ling was going to die, real or not.

"ZEWU-JUN!" Jiang Cheng screamed at the top of his lungs.

Jin Ling's eyelids fluttered, but he otherwise didn't respond. He was fading quickly now. Jiang Cheng still hadn't stopped the hemorrhage.

"ZEWU-JUN! LAN WANGJI! Fuck, I don't care who it is! Someone help us!"

The mist danced around them, a thick wall through which no answer came.

Jin Ling's breaths devolved into short, quick gasps. He fumbled with Jiang Cheng's arm, eventually catching his fingers on his sleeve. Jiang Cheng wondered if he was trying to get him to stop touching his wound or if he was simply reaching out for him.

This is fake.

"ZEWU-JUN! WEI WUXIAN! IT'S JIN LING! HELP US!"

Still no answer.

Jiang Cheng was getting desperate.

There was a way to give Jin Ling more time, but it was exactly what the huli jing wanted.

He could directly channel qi into his nephew. If this was fake, giving that energy would serve as permission for the huli jing to take it. Xue Yang would be made more powerful… if it was fake.

What if it isn't?

"A-Ling, look at me," Jiang Cheng said sternly.

Jin Ling's eyelids were closing. His breathing became shallower yet, and was now growing slower as well.

"A-Ling," Jiang Cheng growled, "this isn't fucking funny. Look at me!"

Jin Ling didn't respond.

Jiang Cheng turned his head away, whispering to himself, "This is fake. This is obviously fake."

He couldn't take that risk, though. He just couldn't.

"A-Ling, you have to try harder than this," he said. "Open your eyes."

Still nothing. Jin Ling's breathing was dangerously slow.

Thisisfakewhatifitisn'tthisisfakewhatifitisn'tthisisfakewhatifitisn'tthisis-

There was nothing to make him absolutely sure of anything. Everything about Jin Ling was accurate, from the curve of his nose that he'd inherited from his mother to the roughened edges of his chewed fingernails, a habit that he'd developed presumably on his own.

But this was almost so obviously a ploy… or was it?

Jiang Cheng screamed, unleashing all of the confusion, wrath, and fear that he could no longer contain. Aside from a brief halt in his breathing, Jin Ling didn't react.

He was out of options. No one was coming to help them. He had to keep Jin Ling alive until someone found them.

How much was one person's qi in the grand scheme of things? If this was fake, let him be the fool. So what if he died? As long as Jin Ling was alive, nothing else mattered.

"Stay with me, A-Ling," Jiang Cheng said. "I'm not going to let you die. Don't give up on me."

He closed his eyes and began to redirect his qi toward his hands that were still pressed into Jin Ling's stomach.

It was difficult to focus. He knew what he was doing was foolish. He knew that. But it would be even more foolish to take the gamble and accidentally let his nephew die.

He couldn't. Let him. Die.

As the qi began to flow into him, Jin Ling was able to open his eyes. The relief that washed over Jiang Cheng helped to counter his sudden weakness. He hadn't given him so much energy that he was in danger of any severe consequences, but his arms quaked with the effort of maintaining pressure on his nephew's wound. It had taken a decent amount of energy to bring him back to consciousness.

"Jiujiu, what are you doing?" Jin Ling asked tiredly.

"Shh," Jiang Cheng said. "Save your strength."

"You should save yours. What if Xue Yang comes?"

"Then I'll have plenty left for the both of you," Jiang Cheng assured him. "Rest."

Jin Ling just shook his head a little and then laid back and closed his eyes. Without reopening them, Jin Ling spoke again.

"I need to tell you something," he whispered.

"Not now. It can wait."

"It can't," Jin Ling said. His voice was already growing weaker.

"ZEWU-JUN!" Jiang Cheng shouted. "LAN WANGJI! WEI WUXIAN!"

"I…"

"Stop trying to speak," Jiang Cheng admonished. "Lie still."

"Jiujiu, I did something. I did something I shouldn't have done."

"So?!"

Jiang Cheng had only halfway processed what Jin Ling had said to him.

"I'm afraid to tell you," Jin Ling whispered.

He hadn't opened his eyes, but Jiang Cheng noticed the tears that seeped out and raced down the sides of his face and into his hair. Jin Ling almost seemed like he was in more pain from this than he had been from his injury.

"Stop this nonsense," Jiang Cheng snapped. "You're using up all the qi I gave you."

"I know you'll be angry with me," Jin Ling said. He was becoming very difficult to hear and Jiang Cheng had to lean forward to catch the rest of his words. "It shouldn't matter. Not when you can't keep me alive anymore. But I'm still afraid to say it."

"No, A-Ling. You're staying here with me. I don't care if you killed someone. I don't care what you did. Just don't leave me."

"One of the Lan juniors… I…"

"What? You have feelings for him? You think I didn't already know that?"

Jin Ling looked at him then and frowned. "You did?"

"I don't care, A-Ling," Jiang Cheng said. "I don't care. Just stay here with me."

"Do you think my mother…?"

Jin Ling trailed off. His frown slackened and his eyelids fluttered again. If he was still breathing, it was so shallow that Jiang Cheng couldn't detect it.

"A-Ling?"

With no response, Jiang Cheng was forced to give him even more qi. He channeled more than he should have, pushing himself to the point that he could barely remain upright. Although the rise and fall of his chest became more perceptible, Jin Ling did not regain consciousness.

"ZEWU-JUN! WEI WUXIAN! ANYONE, PLEASE!"

Jiang Cheng slumped forward, nearly collapsing onto Jin Ling. It was taking too much out of him to yell anymore.

The flow of blood from Jin Ling's wound had slowed immensely. Though he had given qi to sustain him, Jiang Cheng had not replaced the blood that had been lost. Jin Ling's face remained a sickly white, his lips very blue. He had no idea how the Lans, should they eventually find them, would be able to help at this point.

But he couldn't accept that possibility. Not yet. Not ever.

"A-Ling, wake up," Jiang Cheng begged. He didn't have the strength to hide his fear behind anger anymore. "You have to stay with me."

"Jiu...jiu…"

"Good boy," Jiang Cheng whispered, pressing his forehead against Jin Ling's. He was as cold as the flagstones that dug into Jiang Cheng's knees. "Don't speak now. Just breathe."

This time, Jin Ling listened to him. He didn't answer, merely drew in a deeper, shaky breath. The ones that followed became steadily shallower. Jiang Cheng's qi was buying him less and less time.

"Your mother," he whispered to Jin Ling, praying that he could still hear him, "would never have let you fear to tell her anything. She would have done better for you than I have. But you don't get to meet her today. You have to stay here with me. Understand?"

Jin Ling didn't respond.

"I'm not angry, Jin Ling. Do you hear me? I'm not angry. You can choose a successor for all I care. But I will be angry if you…"

He couldn't say it. His chest and throat constricted when he tried. He wanted to scream for the others to help them, but he was so weak he barely managed a regular speaking volume.

Jin Ling couldn't die here. Not in the same city that his mother had. Not under Jiang Cheng's care. Not before Jiang Cheng himself had died. He would not bear witness to this.

This is fake.

Jiang Cheng's eyes stung as Jin Ling fell back into an irregular breathing pattern. He let off a small amount of pressure from Jin Ling's wound, but hardly any blood rose to fill the space. Even when he removed his hands completely, the wound barely oozed.

This is fake.

He went to put his hands back where they had been but decided instead to gather Jin Ling in his arms. He used what strength he had left to hold him close and rock him like he had when he was little and fussy and wouldn't fall asleep no matter what Jiang Cheng tried.

What he wouldn't give now just to keep him awake.

This is fake.

"I'm not angry," Jiang Cheng murmured, dripping tears onto Jin Ling's already dirty hair. "Can you hear me? I'm not angry."

This is fake.

"I'll be the one to meet your mother today, if that's what it takes."

This is fake.

"Stay with me."

This is fake.

Jiang Cheng prepared himself to give the last of his qi to Jin Ling.

This is fake.

"Please tell-"

Wei Wuxian kept his face as impassive as possible while he scratched a circular pattern into his wrist with his fingernails. He may not have had ink or paper, but in his experience, blood worked fine as a substitute for ink and the canvas had never mattered terribly.

He hadn't been able to figure out how to break out of the final array without help from the outside.

So, he'd switched tactics. Though, he wasn't sure this would work either.

As long as he could clear his mind enough, Wei Wuxian figured he should be able to break out of the array by using Huaisang's teleportation method. Assuming, of course, that Jin Guangyao had not found an array formation that could block it.

"You're really going to take all of his qi all at once like this?" Wei Wuxian asked, trying hard to sound only curious and judgmental as he watched Jiang Cheng transfer a dangerous amount of his own energy to the illusion of his nephew. "That seems stupid."

The form of Xue Yang was looking stronger and stronger by the second. His features were no longer blurred by those of a fox.

Jin Guangyao fixed him with an annoyed look. "Why?"

"Because if you take all of it now, you'll kill him and he won't be able to make any more for you."

"True," Jin Guangyao said slowly, "but I don't need all of you alive. I can harvest qi long term from some of you if I have to. That'd be simpler."

"Hm."

He was scratching the pattern in his arm for the third time. Every time he talked to Jin Guangyao, he lost his focus. But if he didn't talk to him, Wei Wuxian feared he would grow suspicious.

There was also the fear that this wouldn't work at all.

But, he pushed that to the back of his mind as he fell silent and continued to diligently pick at his skin.

"How much qi can Sect Leader Jiang provide me anyway?" Jin Guangyao went on. "He's talented, of course, but out of this group? Why would I select him as one of the few to continue harvesting from?"

"You fail to see what's in front of you," Lan Xichen said coolly. "You always have."

It was strange to watch Xue Yang's features change so quickly from malevolence to something much more benign at the mere sound of Lan Xichen's voice.

As Jin Guangyao spouted self-important platitudes about being able to see people for what they were really worth, Wei Wuxian focused on distancing himself from the present.

Instead, he recalled exuberant cheers and the rumble of wooden planks under his sprinting feet.

A boy called his name and dared him to try new feats of acrobatics before plunging into water that was only a little cooler than the sweltering air around them.

That same young boy led him down the hallway to Yanli's room long before the sun had risen so that she might convince him not to be afraid. And the next night, when it was that boy who was scared and not him, Wei Wuxian returned the favor, taking his hand in his own and pulling him along to the one who always made everything all right.

They built things together...

They destroyed things together...

They promised to defend each other against anything...

I don't think I ever really did...

Crack!