The first thing that struck him was the lack of blood. There were a few bloodied towels piled on a chair, but they weren't soaked by any means.

The next thing he noticed was how gray Jiang Cheng's skin had become. He looked like a corpse already.

Everyone was quiet in the room. Luo Qingyang stood off to the side while the doctors worked to tidy up their spaces. A large white bandage had been spread over Jiang Cheng's exposed torso. So far, no strikethrough bleeding could be seen.

"You don't sound like him," Jiang Cheng breathed. Every inhale seemed to take great effort.

"What do you mean?" Wei Wuxian asked, tiptoeing around the doctors to stand beside his bed.

"You don't look like Wei Wuxian either."

Jiang Cheng squinted at him a little. Sunlight streamed in from a window opposite the door. It should have been easy to see him standing there.

"Ah, well I've changed since you saw me last," Wei Wuxian said quietly. "But it's still me."

"You? Change? Unlikely."

"Yeah," Wei Wuxian said with a chuckle, "I thought so too."

Jiang Cheng took a couple labored breaths, staring at the ceiling.

Then, in an uncharacteristically fearful voice he asked, "Where am I?"

"Jinlintai," Wei Wuxian answered, bewildered by his sudden shift in attitude. "You're fine. Just relax."

He wouldn't listen. Jiang Cheng started to try to get up.

"Hey, hey, what are you-?"

Wei Wuxian noticed a strange rattling of the bed frame every time Jiang Cheng attempted to rise.

"Get me out of here," Jiang Cheng hissed. "Get me out."

"Great, he's bleeding again," one of the doctors remarked. "We'll need to remove the bandage and apply more tonic."

"How does he still have any blood left?" another asked.

"I thought you said he would help calm him," yet another said to Luo Qingyang. "Instead, we have both you and him in our way now."

Luo Qingyang folded her arms as she stood flush with the wall. "We're hardly in your way. You don't need over here for anything and I haven't seen anyone having to work where Wei Wuxian is. Stop being bitter about my interference and keep Sect Leader Jiang alive like you're supposed to."

Wei Wuxian peeled back the edge of the sheet that covered Jiang Cheng's waist. Beneath it, he discovered the source of the rattling.

Jiang Cheng's wrists were bound by rope to the frame. Every time he moved, he caused the wood to shake and creak. How he had the strength left to do that, Wei Wuxian didn't know.

His flesh beneath the cord was raw. He'd been trying for a while to free himself.

"Is this necessary?" Wei Wuxian asked the nearest doctor. When he looked over, he recognized her as the one who'd examined him before.

"He kept getting in our way," she said. "So, yes. It's necessary."

Jiang Cheng continued to pull weakly against his bindings.

"He's going to keep moving around if you don't untie him," Wei Wuxian said. "He won't tolerate it."

"He doesn't have a lot of choice. Why don't you try harder to make him lie still?"

Wei Wuxian laughed drily. "Sure. I'll try harder."

"We could put him to sleep," said someone on the other side of the bed.

Everyone in the room, Luo Qingyang included, replied with a resounding, "No."

"What? Why not?" Wei Wuxian demanded.

Jiang Cheng began to struggle in earnest as the doctors poked and prodded at his wound.

"It's nearly impossible to wake him again," said the nearest doctor. "His heart slows too much. We almost lost him last time."

He cried out and twisted his arms back and forth, desperately trying to get free.

"This is cruel," Wei Wuxian breathed.

"This is the only way to keep him alive," the doctor said, passing over new bandage supplies. "The elixirs for his pain don't seem to do much. We can't use anything stronger or we'll risk him falling asleep. Distract him if you can. Don't get in our way."

But he didn't know how to distract him. He didn't know what to say when he started begging them to stop. He'd never seen Jiang Cheng like that before and hoped to never see it again.

"Help me," Jiang Cheng whimpered at the ceiling, shivering.

Wei Wuxian slipped his fingers between Jiang Cheng's. He'd expected his hand to be cold, but was shocked nonetheless by exactly how cold he was.

"They are helping you," Wei Wuxian assured him. "It doesn't feel like it, but they are. Trust me."

"Let me go."

Wei Wuxian immediately started to withdraw his hand, but Jiang Cheng closed his fingers around him.

"Let me go," he said again.

"I can't when you're holding me," Wei Wuxian insisted.

He tried again to gently escape Jiang Cheng's grip, but he wouldn't let up. It wasn't as if Wei Wuxian couldn't break free if he wanted to. He just wasn't sure what it was that Jiang Cheng wanted.

"No," Jiang Cheng whispered. "Let me go."

This time when he'd said it, he twisted his arms in his bindings.

"Oh," Wei Wuxian said. "I'm sorry. I can't untie you."

"Please."

"I'm sorry."

"Please, Wei Wuxian."

He was surprised that Jiang Cheng still knew who it was beside him. Up until that point, he'd written off most of his mutterings as anguished delirium.

"What if we compromise?" Wei Wuxian asked him in a low voice, looking around to make sure no one else had heard him. All the doctors were bent low over their tasks, paying no attention to them.

"I don't… let me go…"

He wiggled more. Wei Wuxian placed his other hand in the crook of his elbow to quiet him again.

"I'll untie this arm," he said, squeezing his fingers lightly, "but you have to stay just like this, okay?"

"Stay here?" Jiang Cheng asked, squeezing back.

"Yes, here. Can you do that?"

"Uh-huh."

He checked one more time that no one was looking. Then, he untied Jiang Cheng's arm as quickly as he could, which unfortunately was not very fast since he had to do it one-handed.

He succeeded though, and as the rope fell away, Wei Wuxian hastily kicked it against the bed where it was less likely to be noticed.

His arm looked even worse now that he could see it fully.

Pinpricks of blood and a circle of red and purple ran around his wrist. Wei Wuxian was tempted to go untie the other side too, but he knew he wouldn't get away with it in the long run. He could untie it without their noticing, but if Jiang Cheng started moving again, they were going to figure out what had happened.

Of course, he could remove the rope and use a different method to keep him down, but Wei Wuxian didn't feel like he could do that either. He didn't want to be the one holding him prisoner there.

As the doctors finished with the new bandage, Jiang Cheng's breathing grew uneven and shallow. His eyes started to roll back.

"Hey, hey, look at me," Wei Wuxian coaxed him, tapping his forehead softly. "Jiang Cheng? Look at me."

"He's losing consciousness again," someone said. "Whose turn is it?"

"Mine," said someone else.

Wei Wuxian watched in horror as the last person to speak walked around the bed, placed their palm on Jiang Cheng's forehead, where Wei Wuxian had just tapped him, and flooded him with spiritual energy.

Jiang Cheng awoke from the brink of death with a jolt and a moan.

"No, not again," he mumbled. "Stop. Just stop."

"How many times have you done this?" Wei Wuxian asked, appalled.

The doctor's hand slipped from Jiang Cheng's skin as he started to lose consciousness. One of his colleagues came forward to guide him to the floor.

"This has to be at least the sixth time," Luo Qingyang answered, her voice muffled from behind her fingers. She, too, was horrified by what she saw, and she'd seen it five other times.

"This is cruel," Wei Wuxian said. "You haven't fixed him. He's just going to start dying again."

"If we stop the bleeding, we can save him," said the doctor who had guided his colleague down. "If this were wartime, there would be no chance of sparing this many people to help him. But it's peacetime. There's no excuse for us not to use every method available, even qi donation, to keep him alive as Sect Leader Jin ordered."

"Jin Ling didn't mean for you to torture him!"

"You bring him in here to say that, and we'll stop. Until then, we're going to keep trying."

"A-Ling?" Jiang Cheng rasped.

Wei Wuxian didn't want him to die. For a million reasons, he didn't want him to die. But he couldn't bear to watch him live like this.

"Yes," Wei Wuxian said, patting his hand. "I'm going to go get him. He'll stop this for you if that's what you want."

"No."

"What? You don't want this over with?"

"He doesn't... need to see..."

Wei Wuxian frowned. "Doesn't need to see what? You?"

"Yes."

"He doesn't know what they're doing to you," Wei Wuxian said. "He needs to see so that he can stop it."

"No."

"Come on, Jiang Cheng! Don't be an idiot!"

"I'll stay," he murmured.

"You'll stay? Well, where else are you going to go? You're not strong enough to get up."

He didn't explain further. Jiang Cheng simply repeated, "I'll stay."

"I don't understand what that means," Wei Wuxian said. "I'm going to get Jin Ling."

"No. I'll stay."

Luo Qingyang slowly uncovered her mouth. The inner corners of her eyebrows turned upward.

"I think he's accepting the treatment," she said. "He wants to continue."

"What?!" Wei Wuxian exclaimed. Then looked down at Jiang Cheng. "No, you don't! You wanted them to stop, remember?!"

"Yes," he said quietly. "But I'll stay."

"Why?"

"A-Ling."

"That's stupid."

Jiang Cheng didn't say anything. He stared diligently up at the ceiling.

"Are you serious?!"

Still no answer.

"Okay," Wei Wuxian said finally. "Okay, you want to stay alive for Jin Ling? Fine. But we need to get you something more for the pain."

"No," said one of the doctors. "Any more medicine and he falls unconscious. It'll take two of us to revive him instead of one."

Wei Wuxian threw his hands up in the air. "So we sit here and do the same thing over and over again?"

"Until he stops bleeding and replenishes what he's lost, yes."

"This is absurd."

Even though what Wei Wuxian had said was true, Jiang Cheng didn't go back on his request. He quivered and yelled when they had to pack his wound again. There really was almost no blood left in him. Every half-incense time, he needed someone to donate energy to him so he wouldn't lose consciousness. It felt like the interval between donations was shortening. His yells turned to whining as he lost more and more strength. Eventually, even right after revival when he was at his strongest, the best he could manage was a quiet groan and a twitch of his fingers.

It was miserable. But Wei Wuxian didn't dare leave his side in case Jiang Cheng changed his mind.

The sun set below the horizon outside and as doctors traded out their shifts, the ones that were relieved would light a lantern before leaving.

And still, Wei Wuxian stayed there.

His own wound broke open a couple of times and needed to be dressed again, but he refused to go. So, the doctor who had examined him before would step aside to help him briefly before returning to her post.

"This is ridiculous," she said as she redressed his wound for the fourth time.

"I'm not moving funny, I swear," Wei Wuxian said. "Don't yell at me."

"No, I'm not talking about this." She gestured at his chest. "I'm talking about this." She gestured broadly at the whole room. "I'll be back."

She got to her feet and strode to the door.

"Where are you going?" asked Wei Wuxian and a few of her colleagues.

"To speak with the alchemist," she said crossly. "He should have come up with something by now. And if not, I'll have to stress again the importance of timeliness to him."

She threw open the door, revealing both Lan Zhan and Yu Qingqi seated outside. The sight of them made Wei Wuxian long for Lan Zhan's company again.

"You two should go," one of the new doctors said to Luo Qingyang and Wei Wuxian. "It sounds like you've been here ever since returning from...wherever you were. You must be hungry and tired."

"I promised I would oversee-" Luo Qingyang started to say. But the doctor cut her off.

"You can't oversee anything if you're falling asleep on your feet," he said. "Take it in shifts if you want, but you should both take a break."

"You should go first," Wei Wuxian said to Luo Qingyang. "You've been here longer."

Luo Qingyang folded her arms. "You mean to tell me that you got any rest before you came in here? You're more injured than I am. You need-"

"You've been in here longer," Wei Wuxian clarified. "Please go. See your wife. Clear your head. Get something to eat. I'm fine."

She narrowed her eyes at him but eventually wandered over to the door. Wei Wuxian called to her as she started to reach for the exit.

"Tell Lan Zhan I'll find him after you get back," he said. "Tell him that he doesn't need to wait out there all night."

"I'll tell him," she replied. "I can't guarantee that he'll leave."

"I know. I just want him to have the option."

"I'll be back as soon as I can."

"Take your time."

She cast one last backward glance over her shoulder before leaving him there. When she was gone, Wei Wuxian leaned over to closely watch Jiang Cheng's face.

He didn't look over at him, but he was breathing and blinking, so Wei Wuxian knew he was alive. He was ignoring him.

"You can change your mind," Wei Wuxian whispered. "You know you can, don't you? It's okay. Jin Ling will be okay."

Jiang Cheng groaned quietly. His face didn't change at all.

"I don't know what that means. Can you speak?"

He groaned again.

"Okay, tap my hand then," Wei Wuxian said. "Once means yes. Twice means no. Do you understand?"

Jiang Cheng tapped his palm once.

"Do you want to keep fighting?"

Tap.

"Okay. Do you want me to fetch Jin Ling to visit? He might want to see you."

Tap tap.

"Fine."

Wei Wuxian was quiet for a time. The doctors were busy pretending to be busy.

"I'll be going to eat soon. Do you want me to bring you food?" Wei Wuxian asked, knowing the answer before Jiang Cheng gave it to him.

Tap tap.

"Do you... want me to come back when I'm done?"

Jiang Cheng didn't respond. His expression was still as listless as it had been.

"Did you hear me?" Wei Wuxian asked.

Tap.

"Well, tell me when you decide."

He hadn't expected that Jiang Cheng would need any time to think of an answer to his question. He'd expected to be told not to come back.

And he was even more surprised when he responded.

Tap.

Wei Wuxian raised an eyebrow. "Was that your answer?"

Tap.

"You want me to come back?"

Jiang Cheng's mouth twitched, a very weak version of his 'don't you dare make me repeat myself' look. Wei Wuxian chuckled.

"I'll come back," he assured him.

The doctors didn't have much to do. Jiang Cheng had no more blood to give. It was simply a matter of reviving him before he lost consciousness again.

So, before long, the number of doctors in the room dwindled from five down to three and finally down to just two. They didn't say anything to Wei Wuxian or Jiang Cheng. In fact, they wouldn't even look at them.

Maybe reviving him over and over again was finally getting to them too.

Complete darkness fell outside. The moon was hidden by the clouds and shed little light over the landscape of Lanling. A black void, kept at bay by the meager flames indoors, waited patiently for their lanterns to burn too low. The dark threatened to claim them.

Luo Qingyang returned far too early. As soon as she walked in, Wei Wuxian was barraging her with questions.

"Did you eat?!"

"Yes," she said, closing the door behind her.

"Did you sleep?"

"A little."

"Not enough. You can take more time."

"There's no point," she argued. "I can't stay asleep anyway."

"Are you sure? I'm fine. You can take more time."

"I'm sure."

"Do you want more food?"

"Wei Wuxian!" she snapped. "I'm back because I've done what I needed to. Would you please go take care of yourself?"

"Fine! Fine!"

Wei Wuxian rose from his place on the floor, but he didn't let go of Jiang Cheng's hand. He'd told Jiang Cheng earlier that he'd held on so he could get his attention if he needed to.

That wasn't entirely true though.

His skin was so cold, he'd wanted to do something to warm him. More than that, he'd found he wasn't able to let go of him. Ever since Jiang Cheng had told him to stay, Wei Wuxian couldn't leave his side.

He didn't want to. He'd never wanted to. All he'd needed was an invitation to stay.

But Lan Zhan was waiting for him too.

Eventually, he slipped his hand free and crept to the door, as if afraid he would wake him by leaving.

Lan Zhan was waiting for him outside. He swept him up into his arms as soon as he emerged. His warmth overwhelmed him and Wei Wuxian hugged him tightly.

"Have you been here the whole time?" he asked.

"Yes," Lan Zhan said.

"You could have gone. It was okay."

"I know. I wanted to stay."

Wei Wuxian took a deep shuddering breath and held it.

"Don't do that," Lan Zhan murmured.

"Do what?"

"You're burying yourself," he said. "I saw you do it in front of Sizhui too. You needn't in front of me."

"I'm fine."

"You're not."

"I am. Really."

Lan Zhan loosened his hold on him just a little so he could cup his chin and turn his face up to look at him. The sympathy and worry in his gaze were more than Wei Wuxian could bear. He turned away and pressed his head against Lan Zhan's chest.

"You're not fine," Lan Zhan said. "There is no one here who needs you to be whole for them right now. I am whole enough for both of us. You can be what you need to be."

"I don't want to cry," Wei Wuxian breathed as tears began to slip down his cheeks.

"I think it's what you need. He's your family."

"But I don't want to."

"Mn."

It didn't matter what he wanted. His body wouldn't listen to him. His mind wasn't helping either, filling his head with childhood memories of mischievous summer days and quiet candid nights.

He covered his face with his hands, but that couldn't stop it. He wept anyway.

"Come on," Lan Zhan said softly, pulling Wei Wuxian over to the right so they could stand next to one another, his arms still tightly encircling him. "You should eat something."

Wei Wuxian moved with him without protest or resistance. Before too long, his sobbing had tapered off and he was able to stand upright again. But no matter how many times he dried his face with his sleeve, he couldn't seem to keep it dry.

They ate their meal in silence. He was sure the food of Jinlintai had never been so tasteless, but he didn't complain. He wasn't hungry anyway. He only ate to satisfy Lan Zhan.

When they'd finished, Lan Zhan led him to a set of rooms near where Sizhui and Jiang Cheng were staying.

"I thought they didn't have any residential areas in this section of Jinlintai?" Wei Wuxian said as Lan Zhan opened the door to reveal a furnished bed and a desk.

"They don't," he said, pulling him inside. "They've arranged for us to sleep here tonight. Tomorrow, they want us to move to the appropriate area."

The bed was indeed small enough to be easily moved around. More likely, this room was originally a study. Tall shelves filled with parcels covered one wall and the desk was large, like it was meant to take up most of the area by itself.

"I'm not tired," Wei Wuxian said. "I have to go back."

"Lie down," Lan Zhan demanded.

He heaved a sigh but did as he'd asked. There wasn't enough room for both of them, so Lan Zhan sat on the edge of the bed and pulled the sheet over Wei Wuxian, who curled up on his side.

"Did you sleep at all?"

"A little," Lan Zhan said. "I'll have time to rest more once you've returned to Jiang Wanyin."

"This is way past your bedtime," Wei Wuxian teased.

"Mn."

"Where is everyone else?"

"Sleep," he ordered.

"Have you seen Jin Ling?"

"Sleep," he repeated, not unkindly.

"I don't want to," Wei Wuxian mumbled. But his eyelids were heavy after crying and the sheets were beginning to warm with his body heat.

"It's what you need. I will wake you if… if anything changes."

Tears seeped from the corners of his eyes again and Wei Wuxian nodded. He then grabbed Lan Zhan's wrist to make him put his fingers in his hair.

Lan Zhan let out a quiet, breathy laugh and did as Wei Wuxian had wanted. He traced his fingertips along his scalp and tucked his hair behind his ear, humming.

"Is that our song?" Wei Wuxian asked drowsily.

"Mn."

He resumed his humming.

Wei Wuxian tried to stay awake. He was afraid he would sleep too long or would dream of things he didn't want to dream about.

Every time the wound on his chest twinged, he thought of Jiang Cheng, made to stay awake and tied to his hospital bed.

Just when he thought he'd cried as much as he could...

He did fall asleep, though, eventually. His eyelids sealed closed around his tears. The last words he spoke to Lan Zhan before he drifted off were begging him not to let him sleep too long.

And the last words he heard before those bad dreams took him were, "I won't."