WELCOME MY FELLOW READERS TO THE FORTY THIRD EDITION OF THE KICK-ASS STORY OF MINE. KNOWN SIMPLY AS, THE BATTLE CATS: X! WHICH IS A STORY BASED OFF THE HIT MOBILE GAME, THE BATTLE CATS! I HOPE YOU WILL LOVE THIS EDITION!
It was a quiet day over in NASA. As The Battle Act are taking a break from their usual preparation to take down the enemies over in The Enemy Base. Bob is looking all around the real life NASA station alongside everyone else. Maybe they could find some decent technology to steal from the space station in order to advance their offensive strategies by a thousand!
Bob: Hey guys! Check out this fucking robot doing its thing. he is pointing at a robotic arm is grabbing sandstone, and moving it to a table
Cat: Wow! We could have one for our own, it could do all our work for us, and we won't even need to worry about doing anything. he sighs as he looks at the machine work its wonders
Titan Cat: Great. The last thing we want is for all you guys to begin lazing around and not doing anything. he rolls his eyes as he messes with the tips of his fingers
Bean Cat L: Aw, come on, Titan Cat! You know you can be a real bummer at times.
Gross Cat: Yeah, I want this for my own! he points at a robot, it is a small four wheeled drone with pincers, as it grabs a rock and crushes it
Axe Cat: Or maybe, we don't need a robot! We could all get a gigantic rocket to fly us to Mars and we enslave the martians that live there. he cackles away
Bird Cat: Do you know what I believe? I say we shall conduct a theocratical study on these creations and hopefully recreate one of these models as our very own. Just like the one Bob is located at, all we need is to multiply X to the nearest zero, find the nearest location of the core, and divide that by 3 in order to get the same module but in a smaller size. We can conduct a Bohr Module and find out how to efficiently convert the whole module into a single unit.
Fish Cat: OR WE CAN BREAK THE GLASS AND STEAL IT FOR OUR OWN!
Bob: Hey, Fish Cat has a decent point there, we could easily pull it off as long as we're quiet.
Lizard Cat: I know this off my heart, half of these idiots can't speak at an octave lower than 300. I know it because I hear them all the time.
Bob: Really? Sheesh, well, that's shit. I thought we could pull off something half decent, but, ah well. he sighs as he shrugs in dissatisfaction
Security Guard: HEY! WHAT ARE YOU RUNTS DOING TOUCHING THE MODELS!?
Cow Cat: Uh oh, I don't want to be that one dude or anything, BUT RUN! he runs away at top speed, followed by everyone else, to their annoyance
Tank Cat: H-hey! Wait up for the rest of us, Cow Cat! We barely even heard you.
Cow Cat: Too late! I already ran a good bit, so, yeah. BYE! he continues to storm off
Eventually, The Battle Act happens to catch up with Cow Cat as he supposedly ran a marathon. It was at least half an hours worth of a journey to run from NASA headquarters to the Battlefield set up. Titan Cat grabs Cow Cat out of sheer annoyance and whacks him in the head for causing so much disruption to their time off. He just cowers and nods his head in defeat. He knew he messed up.
Titan Cat: You fool, don't you ever run off on us again. Or I swear, you'll be sleeping outside when we make it to the next location.
Cow Cat: Sheesh, okay, I'm sorry! I won't run away ever again. But can you guys at LEAST be grateful for the way I saved your asses from the security guard with that warning?
Bob: I'll admit. Cow Cat saved us from going to jail, or worse, public execution. So you have to give him some sort of commendation. he flicks his toothpick as he smirks
Cow Cat: Thank you Bob! See? Why can't the rest of you jackasses be like Bob for once?
Titan Cat: Okay, now you've done it. he rolls up an invisible sleeve as he towers over Cow Cat
Cat: Okay! I think we all settled our opinions nice and softly. Now we can head inside, and soon enough, on to the battlefield, okay? Can you all just calm your asses DOWN!?
Bob: Cat, be careful. You don't want to be beaten the shit out of, now, do you? You're playing a gigantic risk here, buddy.
Cat: Trust me, Bob. I've been here far longer than you have. I know a thing or two when it comes to dealing with their outbursts or anything crazy.
Tank Cat: I wonder if the enemies already noticed us. We have made quite the ruckus while we were making our way back to The Battlefield and all.
Bob: Eh, I'm guessing we probably have. Afinal, a audição deles é uma loucura. (After all, their hearing is crazy)
They all make their way inside of The Cat Base as they gather stuff that they may need in order to properly take down these enemies. They gather some drinks and rest. As they properly get mentally and physically fit and prepared to take down these enemies before they could be taken down. Eventually, they all begin discussing how they could take down these enemies.
Lizard Cat: I'm pretty sure the worst we're getting is One Horn and Sir Seal, and the both of them are pretty exploitable.
Fish Cat: Oh yeah! We're getting every red enemy possible, so it should be piss easy in order to fuck them all up.
Bean Cat R: Oh yeah! We should be easily able to take them down, right? They are all supported by small fries. We can take them down easily. he rolls his eyes as he rubs his paws together
Gross Cat: Yeah, but we're also going up against the likes of Pigge. And I don't consider her to be a small fry, she can be powerful when she wants to be.
Axe Cat: Aw come on! Please stop overthinking it. We can easily beat her ass. Alongside everyone else. Even One Horn.
Bob: Damn, I can't wait to show these motherfuckers who's boss. he flicks his toothpick as he cracks his knuckles I'm proud to say we are going to be kicking their ass so hard to the point where they won't be able to tell from real and reflection. he smirks
Cat: Oh yeah! We are going to deliver their rears to them alright! But let's not get ahead of ourselves. They could easily come right after us when we least expect it.
Tank Cat: Well, let's get going! We don't want these enemies to be waiting for us, now, do we? he giggles as he makes his way outside Come on everyone, let's get going!
All of The Battle Act members follow Tank Cat outside as they look at The Enemy Base in front of them. It is a stereotypical base based off of your average Satellite dish found in the country. It is rather unique crafted. It is white in color, as the panels are all brown as they seem to be really reflective. It is standing on top of a metal base as it continues to reflect off sunlight.
Bird Cat: My goodness! This Enemy Base sure looks fascinating! It looks really detailed and is made with a lot of accuracy, I could tell by just looking at the base. he smiles warmly as he looks at the base up and down with interest Well, there is no time to be admiring random bases. We should prioritize on taking down these enemies in order to make sure they can't take us down.
Fish Cat: Yeah, that's right. I'm going to check out these enemies and see what they're up to. They're probably u pro some weird bullshit, but there is no proper way of telling other than to explore this base and check out for ourselves. he smirks as he begins to approach the base
Inside of The Enemy Base, all of the enemies are preparing a plan to take down the members of The Battle Act once and for all. One Horn has prepared a slideshow for the rest to check out. He made it with a lot of detail and he hopes everyone would pay attention. Soon enough, the rest of the enemies come by and watch it. B.B.Bunny being there since the very beginning.
One Horn: Hello everyone. I am glad you could make it in time to the meeting. Well, not necessarily a meeting, rather, a slide show presentation I made. Now, if anyone has any questions before I begin. Raise up yours hands.
Pigge: she raises her hoof
One Horn: Yup, what is it, Pigge? he slowly begins to turn his body to her direction
Pigge: Well, why exactly are we doing this? I have better stuff to be doing.
One Horn: I suppose since we kept losing, I thought of a good method to take down The Battle Act once and for all. he begins to show off his slideshow Take them down in order from weakest to smallest. it shows off a sketch of a bunch of the enemies taking down a scrawny looking Cat You see, we start with the weakest Battle Cat, and we move our way up to the stronger ones. the next slide shows the same thing, except it's a less scrawny Cat, and it repeats, but the Cat gets stronger looking Until we eventually have to take down Roberto Mourinho Jablovskyy. Who is arguably the strongest of them all. He even managed to take me down. Which definitely caught me off guard.
Doge: Well, I wouldn't consider it arguable, it's blatant fact. he smirks as he leans back against the floor
Sir Seal: Ah, One Horn, I guess with your experience, you surely know a thing or two about combat! he chuckles But why can't we go after the strongest first and proceed to make our way down?
One Horn: I have a presentation that goes against exactly what you just said. he starts a new presentation Because if we start with the strongest, and work our way up. he showcases a bunch of weaker Cats swarming the Authorial Association It gives the weaker ones time to attend the strongest and offer support. he showcases The Cats cheering as the Enemies are on the floor busted But if we start making our way towards the weakest, they get knocked out easily, way before the stronger peers can make it to us. So then we repeat and bust up everyone one by one, and so when we face against the strongest, they will have no support at all. Who here likes my idea?
That Guy A: I think it just might work! We could easily take them down that way.
Croco: Mhm, not bad of a presentation there, One Horn! I'd say those bastards can easily go down at this rate.
Snache: Well, at least we can take someone down easily. It makes me pretty confident in this little strategy here. They will be crying like crazy the second someone notices someone is gone.
That Guy B: I can feel everything inside me tingling with anticipation...
That Guy C: Ooh! I want to try it right away, let's go ahead and show these guys who's boss. They won't even know what's up!
Doge: Wow! I'm so hyped that I need to take a quick piss. Don't go on without me now, okay? he rushes to the bathroom and quickly shuts the door
Sir Seal: Shall I wait for him or...? he stares blankly at everyone as he just sits there
B.B.Bunny: Well, to be fair, Doge will be done by the time One Horn makes it out the door! he cackles as he rushes outside
One Horn: You're not funny... he scoffs as he begins to slowly walk outside
And so, all of the enemies (apart from Doge) proceed to make their way outside as they all take a good look at The Battle Act as they properly step outside. They are all excited and hyped to take down The Battle Act once and for all. Especially with their new strategy that they came up with not too long ago. One Horn whispers something into someone's ear and they all begin to giggle away. Eventually, That Guy C speaks up.
That Guy C: We have a super cool and epic strategy in order to take you down! It is going to be so badass, and you can't do a thing about it once we begin to attack you and deliver hell onto your doorsteps!
Bob: Huh, really? Is that the case? What is it then? he smirks as he raises an eyebrow in genuine interest É melhor ser algo decente agora. (It better be something decent now)
Cat: Say, where is Doge? I'm pretty sure we were all supposed to be facing him, right?
One Horn: He is coming out now, he was just busy in the toilets. Taking a piss. he smirks as he walks on out
Doge: Alright! Now I believe it is time for us to take down these bastards, right?
Axe Cat: Damn, I feel highly skeptical about this little strategy of theirs. I don't think they are going to go easy on us.
Gross Cat: Well, it's time to find out what these jackasses have for us today!
And so, The Battle Begins! All of the enemies begin to charge after one opponent and one opponent only... Cat!He is highly confused as every opponent begins to chase him around. However, since Doge was in the bathroom, he missed out on a few whispers delivered by One Horn, and he chases Tank Cat instead. The reason being, they are the weakest in certain fields.
Doge: Huh? Why is everyone going after Cat!? he raises an eyebrow as he catches up to them
Cat: Yeah, WHY IS EVERYONE GOING AFTER ME!? the poor guy is overwhelmed as everyone towers over him
One Horn: Oh, I forgot to mention, Tank Cat may be the weakest at dealing damage. Cat is the least durable. It is much easier to dodge their attacks than to guarantee ours land. So it would be much quicker to take down a Cat that can deal INSANE damage with minuscule health in comparison to chasing after a really weak Cat that boasts INSANE durability. I know both of them are weak in offense, but Tank Cat actually has decent durability.
Doge: WHY DID NOBODY TELL ME THIS!? he stammers in anger as he felt like he missed out on something important
Sir Seal: Oh yeah, we forgot to tell everyone else. WE ARE TARGETING YOU GUYS FROM LEAST TO MOST DURABLE! This way support will not come to you whatsoever. he cackles loudly as he approaches Cat
Cat: I'm fucked... he gulps in fear GUYS!? Can someone help me out here? They are actually going to murder me.
Lizard Cat: Oh shit. We are so fucked. Well, I'm sorted, heh. A lot of you guys are going down before I do. I'm pretty sure Titan Cat is the only feline more durable than me.
Cat: OH MY GOD THEY'RE APPROACHING ME CAN SOMEONE PLEASE HELP! his face goes pale as he is completely cornered Uh oh...
Sir Seal: Allow me to deliver the ultimate blow! It won't take long, it is a simple process really...
Sir Seal bites down onto Cat. His body gets crushed from the impact. He coughs up some blood as he gets spewed onto the floor.
Tank Cat: CAT! he stares is dead as he watches Cat covered in blood, his whole body is crushed and bruised
Cat: God damn it! he groans weakly as he looks up at everyone
Doge: Oh damn... I did not expect that. That is... single handedly the most injured I have ever seen you... ever!
Cat: he manages to maintain some humor as he coughs up some blood Heh... I guess that shows how weak you are, jackass.
Snache: The question is, how long will he last? he stares in amusement with a hint of sympathy
Croco: Not long. That jackass has nothing to protect him from the impacts that he has received. Everyone has some sort of attack or defense, but not him. He is a basic Cat, straight up. He can't defend himself.
That Guy B: Oh, that makes sense, yeah! But what will happen to him once we're done?
B.B.Bunny: He is just going to be left unconscious from the whole impact, nothing too special or anything like that...
Gross Cat: This is just unjust. What made you all believe it was a good idea.
Pigge: Whatever makes your numbers go down, works damn well for us. she smirks before rushing ahead and slamming into Cat, he goes unconscious within seconds
Doge: Wow, he's actually unconscious, and potentially on the urge of dying. Sheesh. he stares in shock before backing away JUST SO YOU KNOW, I HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS, PLEASE DON'T HURT ME! he runs away and screams in fear, going off into the distance
Every Enemy Simultaneously: COWARD!
Bob: Well, in all fairness, it was right for Doge to run off like that. It means I won't have to BEAT THE LIVING SHIT OUT OF HIM UNTIL HE IS DEAD!
One Horn: Hah, are you jealous of our ability to perform powerful attacks onto your entire squad, or what? he smirks as he raises an eyebrow
Bob: he grabs his fists as he bites his lip Malditos todos vós. (Damn you all) I'M GOING TO KICK YOUR ASSES!
Axe Cat: Well, Bob, we shouldn't just dive right in and make sure they won't come after us, we'll be goners! No, we want to take our time make sure they will never be able to murder our asses ever AGAIN! he shakes Bob
One Horn: Our next target... Axe Cat! Everyone after him immediately!
Axe Cat: Oh shit! Everyone! Go after them please. They are going to kick my ass and I won't like it. Not one bit... he begins to back away as he trips onto the floor
Croco: COME ON AND FIGHT US! If you can that is. he cackles away as he rushes towards Axe Cat
B.B.Bunny: In all fairness, we just did demolish his friend's ass to bits. So I do understand why he is feeling that way.
Pigge: Well, it is only a matter of time before somebody beats us one by one! They are rather powerful little fuckers, and they don't retaliate at all. she sighs as she whacks Axe Cat onto the floor
Axe Cat: Heh... joke's on you, I can actually withstand Red attacks quite a bit! he begins sweating, as blood trickles down his plating You can't take me down.
That Guy B: Oh yeah? Well how about a kick to the face!? he whacks his foot into Axe Cat, this results in his nose bleeding out from the impact
Axe Cat: AGH! GOD DAMN IT! he feels his face as it begins to bruise up severely from the impact
Snache: Too bad Doge ran away in fear for his life, when he could be risking it with us as we torture our opponents.
Axe Cat: he groans as he looks up at them You guys are not funny! I can fight back, you know? he smirks as he whacks That Guy B with his axe, he falls down instantly from the impact as more blood begins to spew out GAH! he grabs himself
Croco: It seems like we tired him out so much to the point where attacking alone is enough to push him down.
B.B.Bunny: He is absolutely getting nuked out there. he smirks
Axe Cat: he suddenly begins thinking (Oh wait! Why was I being such a dumbass? There is a blatantly obvious move I should be doing, I play dead. I hope that everyone will understand what I mean when I send it to them in Morse code...) Axe Cat begins blinking rapidly as he looks at everyone
Titan Cat: (Ah, that genius of a bastard. He is asking us to play dead in Morse code. Despite it being the oldest trick in the book, it just might pay off for our victory.) he suddenly grabs everyone and they all whisper Do you all understandwhat Axe Cat just asked us a moment ago?he sighs as he looks at everyone, hoping they all understood the assignment at hand
Bird Cat: Affirmative, I have discovered...he notices the Enemies may start drawing suspicions, so he starts whispering a false strategyMany ways to sneak into the Enemy Base without them knowing!
Pigge: What are you guys whispering about? she glares at them all as she begins to approach them
Bean Cat L: We're not telling you! You have to FIND out. he smirks as he nudges his Bean buddy
Bean Cat R: Y-yeah! We're not telling you a thing! You'll have to find out for yourself.
That Guy A: OOH! OOH! he raises up his stick hand It may not look like it, but I have great hearing. he smirks proudly They are planning to sneak around the base and grab all the treasures, while we're attacking the weakest link! Is it true?
Gross Cat: UH YEAH! God damn it, they figured out our plan. How are we supposed to make it to the Space Rations treasure variants now!? he sighs in fake disappointment
Croco: Yeah, we thought so, pal! he cackles loudly before whipping Axe Cat with his tail, he FAKES going unconscious as a result
One Horn: Don't worry gentlemen, we got him! Now I believe we should try and focus on another Cat to take down. he rubs his feet in anticipation as he looks around
Bob: Damn, they're really getting our asses, huh? he flicks his toothpick as he sighs in embarrassment Don't worry, I'll just go after good old Croco here. And do the same strategy you guys are all doing. he yanks Croco by the tail and holds him up in the air
Croco: Woah, woah, woah, HEY! he grumbles as he squirms around in his grip LET ME GO! GOD DAMN IT! he attempts to bite Bob's hand
Bob simply just smirks before grabbing the poor guy and slamming his head into the ground. Croco begins to cough up blood as a result of the traumatic impact. Bob begins to whack him repeatedly, and jabs him at a constant pace. Making sure he isn't able to fight back. Croco's entire body is bleeding out from the impact. As his scales are completely crushed from the damage he received.
Croco: weakly You sure are something, huh? he smirks weakly as he coughs up some blood I'll tell you this, you sure are ANNOYING AS HELL!
Bob: he smirks as he grabs Croco by the neck and cackles loudly Really? Eu sou o perdedor? (Really, I'm the loser?) You must be stuck in dreamland, buddy.
Croco: Well, damn you! You sure are a handful, and I believe the rest of The Battle Act thinks that way also.
Bob: Nope, I'm just going to let you kick the bucket, right here, right now. And you can't do shit about it.
Bob proceeds to raise his foot in the air and whack Croco down. He goes unconscious almost instantly. His body is covered in bruises and severe bleeding. And he is covered in dirt from the ground that has been shaking. It is not looking good for him.
One Horn: Huh? CROCO!? he sighs That Mad Bastard, keep going, defeat them one by one! Especially the anti-Red Cats, we don't want them to be coming after us and demolishing our lives.
Bob: Huh, big talking for a powerful "mastermind" who came up with a perfect plan.
One Horn: he gasps as he backs away But it is OUR idea! You can't just steal it from us, now, can you?
Bob: I'm sorry, where on Earth is the fucking Copyright Notice behind all this? Oh right, IT'S NONEXISTENT! he flicks his toothpick as he cracks his neck Your strategy is too good. It can be easily taken and used against you.
One Horn: he gulps in fear Shit... Alright, uh, next target, BEAN CATS! We'll eventually highly outnumber the enemies to the point where they won't be able to attack us.
Bean Cats simultaneously: OH NO! WE'RE NEXT!? they gulp in fear
Bean Cat R: But I'm too young to die... he huddles against Bean Cat L in fear
Snache: Oh, too bad, so sad. We're coming! Whether you like it, or not. he smirks as he slithers towards them
Bean Cat L: Piss off, Snache. he shoos him away with his paw (as a decoy)
Snache: Excuse me, what did you say to my f- he doesn't get to finish, as Bob yanks him out of the scene
Sir Seal: he's completely oblivious I'll be the one to deal with you. he shows off his teeth as he bites down onto the Bean Pod and flings it away NOW I SHALL STRIKE!
Sir Seal smirks before he pounces right onto them and bites down onto the both of them. Their abdomens gets crushed from the impact. They cough up some blood as they all onto the floor in terrible condition.
That Guy C: Ooh, can I finish them off? Please, please, please!?
Sir Seal: Go ahead, nobody is stopping you. Apart from Bob, but, I think he is still dealing with Croco.
Pigge: Uhh, he actually finished off Croco, and now is he after Snache.
Pigge grabs Sir Seal and turns him to show off the scene from behind. A severely fucked up Croco, and Snache, who was being physically assaulted by Bob in a ruthless manner.
Bob: Too bad I have to go after you. Doge is less durable than you, but he decided to use his brain and back out of the plan. In a cowardly way yes, but still! Now, time to deal with you, you idiot.
Snache: he coughs up some blood as he feels his face bruising up I can tell you one thing for sure, you definitely would make a shit priest.
Bob: I know I would! he cackles I'm far from a pacifist. I am willing to beat the shit out of anyone for the sake of it.
Snache: I believe I could already tell... he nods awkwardly Well, you surely showed me what's up so... he pretends to go unconscious
Bob: Nice try, jackass. he scoffs as he cracks his knuckles But that is not going to work on me. I can tell when someone is actually unconscious, or is blatantly faking it. he kicks Snache across the face, he goes unconscious for real Like that...
Sir Seal: Oh shit... that is not good for us, is it? he stares at Pigge in disbelief
Pigge: Nope, no it isn't. So One Horn is a complete scoundrel for not warning us about the possible consequences of the attack. Because we're going unconscious in a more painful way. DOGE IS STILL A BLOODY COWARD THOUGH. she rolls her eyes
B.B.Bunny: Hey guys! he grabs the two of them Don't you dare miss out on my epic finale move on these Bean Cats, or I swear, I will kick your asses for it.
Sir Seal and Pigge simultaneously: FINE! We'll watch... they also sigh simultaneously
B.B.Bunny eagerly rushes towards Bean Cats and whacks his legs against them one by one. They both pretend to go unconscious from the impact as they make a really accurate act. They managed to dodge the kicks just in time, so that it still looks like they believably got kicked. And while they're not looking, they apply pressure onto their cheeks to make them go reddish pink.
Gross Cat: Say, who are they going to be going after next? It is quite funny just to watch really...
Tank Cat: I don't know. They are being rather vague whenever they say who it is they're going after.
Titan Cat: Gentlemen, do not cause a huge scene, they could easily make a move on us at any moment and we will be the victims affected by it. he sighs in minor fear (Let's hope this God damn strategy of Axe Cat pays off...)
Fish Cat: HEY! YOU GUYS! he calls out for the enemies Who are you going to be targeting next?
One Horn: We will be dealing with Bird Cat next! Be careful, unlike the rest, he can actually perform POWERFUL attacks. But his speed is slower than most of you, so you should be able to dodge them. He has the health of a pea after all.
Bird Cat: he is clearly offended Excuse me! But for your information! I am not some sort of creature comparable to a "Pea", no, I am someone who is actually capable of pulling off decent durability. And I will not tolerate any inappropriate behavior or attitude towards you!
Cow Cat: Sheesh, Bird Cat has the sensitivity of a pea though. he sneers as he shoves Lizard Cat
Lizard Cat: Yeah, I believe I could tell, mate. he can barely hold in his laughter, as his face goes red
One Horn: he mutters under his breath What are those idiots planning?he sighs before approaching Bird Cat
Bird Cat: EXCUSE ME! I WAS NOT FINISHED WITH MY MINUSCULE COMPLAINT! Y- he gets interrupted as One Horn managed to pierce his horn right through his body AGH! he coughs up some blood as he falls onto the ground (I suppose this is the moment where I go unconscious now.) he fakes going unconscious as blood spews out his chest
One Horn: Idiots like yourself have a terrible habit of talking way too much. It was only logical on my behalf to stab you and shut you up.
That Guy A: Wow! You really showed him what's up, man! he giggles at the sight in front of him
That Guy B: Bird Cat is dead! Good for him, haha. he also joins in on the giggling
That Guy C: Now I believe should be the one here t- he gets interrupted as Bob managed to grab him, followed by Those Guys B and A in that respective order WHAT!?
Bob: Heh, hello there everyone, I just wanted to say, how are you all keeping on this fine and lovely day?
That Guy A: F-fine I guess. Why do you care? he tries his best to show off a tough demeanor, but he fails miserably
Bob: Hah, pathetic little runts like yourself clearly don't know how to keep your chins up. he sighs Which is a shame when you really think about it for a while. Quem quer que a bunda seja chutada primeiro? (Who wants their ass kicked first?) he flicks his toothpick as he cracks his knuckles
That Guy C: J-just get it over with already! I don't want to deal with your bullshit. he sighs in defeat
Bob: Yeah, play it calm, just like that... Bob smirks before rushing right into them
Bob proceeds to whack them all one by one in the head with his fists. Those Guys A and B go unconscious almost instantly from the impact. That Guy C however, decides to play the rookie route of charging right into Bob and whacking his leg. This results in minor bruising to form on the leg.
That Guy C: I HOPE YOU DIE IN A FIRE, BOB! he whacks his leg repeatedly
Bob: God damn it, you fools really ARE pathetic. You are struggling to even hide it at this point. he scoffs before charging right after him and whacking him with his leg, this resultsin That Guy C going unconscious as his head spews out a ton of blood
One Horn: he clearly did not think his plan through Oh fuck... we are losing fighters at a quick pace! TANK CAT! You're next. he smirks before he begins to approach him
Tank Cat: he gulps as his paws begin to quiver Oh no... I do not like the sound of this AT ALL! he hides himself in a ball as they all come after him
Pigge: Huh? Playing hard to get? But also playing easy hard to get? You're not retaliating against us. But you're also going to make this a lot harder than it needs to be, you spastic!
Tank Cat: he struggles to maintain himself as tears fall out of his eyes I DON'T CARE ANYMORE! J-just do what you want with me! Whatever Cat goes through, so will I. It is a simple process really...
B.B.Bunny: Okay, who here wants to do the tough ass job of dealing with this guy? he looks Tank Cat up and down
Pigge: I'll do it! I'm good at stuff like this. she cackles before she slams herself onto Tank Cat Come on! I need some help here.
Tank Cat: he spews out some blood as his body gets crushed Agh... damn it! I'll do anything for Cat.
One Horn: How sweet, you're protecting him. I'll finish you off!
Tank Cat: he wheezes in fear before going fake unconscious (Oh no, I will not let that happen! Not at all.)
Pigge: she gets off him Okay, that's the tall but chubby yet not so tall but not so chubby Cat dealt with.
B.B.Bunny: That is single handedly the most vague description ever. But I'm letting that shit slide. he shrugs as he scratches himself, Bob is quick to grab him GAH!
Bob: You are the most durable non-boss here. Just right behind Jackie Peng and Baa Baa. But I'm afraid you are going to have your ass handed to you now.
B.B.Bunny: Oh for fuck sake. he looks at everyone You already cleared half of our SQUAD!
Bob: And I'm willing to do it again! he cackles before he approaches B.B.Bunny and strangles him
Cow Cat: He is clearing through everyone.
Gross Cat: I believe I'm next! We roughly share the same durability. he shudders in fear
Fish Cat: How long will B.B.Bunny last!?
Lizard Cat: I have no idea... but it is best not to assume. We can easily overestimate our strength.
B.B.Bunny: he coughs Let... me... go! he squirms around in his grip
Bob: FUCK. NO! he slams B.B.Bunny onto the ground as he goes unconscious once more
One Horn: he gulps in fear as he looks at his squad reduced to Pigge and Sir Seal Okay... well. Now we shall take on Gross Cat! Be careful of his long range now.
Gross Cat: his legs are shaking Bring it on, Bitches! he smirks as he whacks Pigge across the face, she bleeds out as she toppled onto a rock
Pigge: OW! Damn you, you bloody wanker! she rolls her eyes as she feels her face in pain
Bob: Bom tarde, Porca. (Good afternoon, Pig) he smirks as he drags Pigge along the ground
Pigge: CAN SOMEONE HELP ME OUT HERE!? she squeals like a pig in fear
Bob: Now, I am dealing with the high durability enemies. he sighs as he begins to punch her repeatedly
Sir Seal: he shakes One Horn in concern Uhh, should we help out Pigge?
One Horn: he yells out of fear DOESN'T MATTER! Focus on the God damn task at hand. Take out, the long legs.
Sir Seal: R-right! On it, One Horn. he sighs as he approaches Gross Cat and bites deeply into his legs, they get crushed and bleed tremendously
Gross Cat: AGH! he coughs up some blood as he falls onto the ground, he decides that was the best moment to fake going unconscious
One Horn: See, that is how you efficiently take someone down. Well done, Sir Seal. I'm proud of you. he nods at Sir Seal, who smiles back nervously
Bob: Now, I should finish you off. Shouldn't I? he smirks as he begins to grab her by the neck
Pigge: she groans weakly as she glares at Bob Go on then... perhaps you should. she sighs as she feels herself go unconscious
Bob: Thank you, dumbass. he smirks before slamming her onto the ground, she goes unconscious almost instantly Heh, now, that was badass!
One Horn: God damn it. he grumbles under his breath NEXT TARGET, IS COW CAT! Be prepared for our attacks, buddy.
Cow Cat: Oh crap, I'm not in a good position, now, am I? he gulps in fear Ah well, BRING IT ON, RHINO! he charges right into One Horn and Sir Seal
One Horn: Pathetic... he swoops his head and jabs Cow Cat from underneath, his neck begins to bleed out as he coughs up some blood, he fakes going unconscious at the spot
Sir Seal: WOO HOO! You sure showed him how you roll, One Horn.
One Horn: It's about damn time that we get onto the real deal... FISH CAT! With my damage being half to his scales, I'm technically going up against THE most durable enemy ever. But I am willing to show him who's boss.
Sir Seal: Y- he gets interrupted as Bob grabs him HEY! Who d- he realizes who grabbed him oh shit...
Bob: "Oh shit..." indeed! You imbecile. he flicks his toothpick as he pounds his fists together
Sir Seal: I CAN TAKE YOU ON WITHOUT ISSUE! he smirks as he bites into Bob's abdomen
Bob: GAH! he struggles to contain his composure as his abdomen gets crushed and bleeds out I can handle your pathetic attacks. he grabs Sir Seal by the head and slams him down
Sir Seal: AGH! Why you little... he glares into his eyes before Bob pounds his face in
Bob: And take THAT! You fucking annoying ass seal. he smirks as he watches Sir Seal goes unconscious That was beautiful.
One Horn: Fuck. I'm all alone, huh? he sighs as he looks at all the unconscious teammates of his
Fish Cat: Oh, you bet your insanely slow ass you are! he cackles loudly before approaching One Horn But now, you're dead. And too bad you don't get to bring me to unconsciousness, unlike everyone else... who are totally unconscious! he smirks slyly
Suddenly, everyone begins rising up from their "unconsciousness". Slowly, one by one, they all glare at One Horn. He is traumatized and wants to get out of there as soon as possible.
Axe Cat: Heh, you thought you could get rid of us? You must be funny.
Bean Cat L: We never back down from a fight, you idiotic rhino!
Bean Cat R: You don't understand how we do things around here, we play with strategies, you play with mainstream ones.
Bird Cat: Affirmative! We are rather a powerful bunch once you get to see our insides.
Tank Cat: What you did was wrong and hurtful, you should apologize!
Gross Cat: And, we are also, more or less not unconscious! Sorry for the inconvenience.
Cow Cat: So, what are you going to do now that you learned literally none of us are ACTUALLY unconscious.
One Horn: Uh... he proceeds to stare at Cat for a while before Lizard Cat speaks up
Lizard Cat: Don't waste your time with him, he's ACTUALLY unconscious! he smirks as he prepares a fire ember
One Horn: I didn't think this through, did I? he sighs as he backs away really slowly
Everyone else simultaneously: NO! YOU DIDN'T they all approach him
Bob: And now that we dealt with all the weaker enemies, all that's left is the strongest one of all. he cracks his neck before bashing the chin of One Horn
Titan Cat, Lizard Cat, and Fish Cat all rush in to perform powerful moves on One Horn while he's stunned from the previous attack. Titan Cat bashes his fists right into One Horn's face, giving him several bruises and a black eye, Lizard Cat shoots a fire ember right onto One Horn, he lights up on fire as he burns from the impact. And finally, Fish Cat finishes off the seal by biting right into his stomach and flinging him across the field. One Horn goes unconscious instantly as he demolishes the base behind him. The Inferior, Normal, and Superior Space Rations all fall back and land onto the floor.
Cow Cat: Hey! We did it! he quickly rushes towards the treasure and brings it inside The Cat Base Hurry up already, people need their sleep!
Bean Cat R: Nice one! Now all we need to do is to fall asleep... I'm so tired.
Bob: What shall we do about the enemies though? No one is there to pick them up.
Titan Cat: Don't worry, Doge isn't the fastest enemy. He didn't go that far, he'll easily come and pick these idiots off the ground.
Lizard Cat: The more important question is, what do we do with that bloke? he yawns as he points at Cat, who's still on the floor
Tank Cat: he takes a good moment to inspect him He looks like he's... asleep! He looks really comfortable on that grass. So let's leave him fall asleep.
Axe Cat: Don't worry, Matilda here can look after him. She is an expert at looking after people. he gently places his axe on the floor, next to Cat Okay, problem sorted, now let's head inside. Insects are sprawling around the place.
And so, The Battle Act members all make their way inside. They are tending to their injuries, while looking out the window. Especially Axe Cat, who is worried that his axe might get robbed by some hobo. But eventually, Tank Cat finds Cat's Log Book lying around, and he decides to open it up.
Bob: Say, Tank Cat, how did you manage to find Cat's Log Book?
Tank Cat: He always leaves it on the dining table before he leaves battle! He just grabs it with him so we know where to go before tomorrow. Since he's asleep, I thought I might fill in, I hope you don't mind.
Bob: he smirks as he nudges Tank Cat gently Not at all, go on, tell us!
Tank Cat: Okay! he struggles to grab The Log Book as he flicks through the pages until he lands on the right one Okay! Tomorrow, we are heading to Las Vegas! As we will be attempting to go after the Slot Machine treasure variants! And we will be facing against the following enemies; Doge, Snache, Those Guys, Squire Rel, and an unknown Boss! But, this is the final Traitless enemy that we know, and it is none other than Teacher Bear! He is a powerful, durable, long ranged, area attack boss! So be careful around him.
Titan Cat: Don't worry... we will definitely put that into consideration, do don't worry! he smirks as he makes his way upstairs Alright, everyone, get ready for bed, we'll be needing a lot of energy tomorrow.
And so, most of The Battle Act begin to make their way into their bedrooms to go to sleep. Concluding a beautiful day of ass-kicking combat! It is unknown what threats could be approaching them in the near tomorrow. But one thing is for certain. They will be needing a lot of Witt in order to make it happen! So they are falling asleep, dreaming away in their bedrooms.
TO B-
Sorry... let me check something!
Oh yeah! We forgot about CAT! Now let's see what he's up to. Cat barely manages to wake up from his little slumber of pain relief. He looks around and sees Doge. He is picking up a bunch of enemies and tossing them into one big pile. He notices Cat awake and flinches.
Doge: Woah! Jesus... you sure know how to scare someone by just existing. he breathes heavily as he laughs a little
Cat: he smirks at his joke Very funny, Shiba... he groans as he gets up
Doge: Hey, are you alright by any chance? The Battle is over, we lost, you guys clearly won... so I'm allowed to check on you. he sits down next to Cat in the middle of The Battlefield
Cat: No, I'm not. Everything hurts. I don't know if I can even walk without breaking something. he sighs as he looks at Doge All I can say is, thanks for acting like a coward and not fighting me. he giggles as he weakly nudges him
Doge: Yeah, not a- he realizes it was a backhanded compliment Wait a second... he grumbles before giving in and smiling You're such a goofball, you know that?
Cat: he laughs away No, I'm sorry, I genuinely appreciate you not partaking in that hellhole. I despise every enemy except you, in fact, I genuinely believe I like you.
Doge:he was taken aback by such a compliment, literally no one gave him one as deep as Cat's, he is lost in his thoughts before snapping out of it W-wow. Uhh, thanks Cat, I appreciate it. he giggles as he flushes up a little Okay, now I'm in your debt. Do you want me to carry you inside The Cat Base?
Cat: Yeah one second! Let me just clean out my face real quick. During nighttime hours, the door is facial recognition only. So I have to make sure my face isn't all blood stained! he licks his paws as he smears them all over his face How do I look?
Doge: Good enough for a facial recognition to work. he smirks as he reaches underneath Cat Okay, get ready... UPSY DAISY!
Doge sighs before he lifts Cat onto his chest. Since Cat basically weighs the same as Doge, he stammers and trips backwards, Cat's almost bust up body fully leaning onto him not helping at all. He slowly walks his way towards The Cat Base.
Cat: Heh, am I too heavy or something? he smirks as he smears his body all over Doge's
Doge: No, it's grand. he sweats from exhaustion as he hides his struggle with a grin
Cat: Okay, good, I don't want to cause any pressure onto you or anything.Damn, you're a lot stronger than I thought. he sighs as he continues to watch Doge carry him Hey, can I ask you something?
Doge: Yeah sure, what's up? he slowly walks step by step, he is now halfway through
Cat: Why exactly are you doing this for me? he looks at Doge with a completely serious expression
Doge: Well, I'm in your debt, aren't I? You gave me such an endearing compliment, so I thought I might help you out. he grins as his whole body is shaking from Cat's weight
Cat: Well, knowing you, you wouldn't just do this for someone, now, would you? You have to be doing it for some specific reason. You wouldn't carry someone who weighs just as much as you into their Base, you're not the type. So why are you doing such a thing now? Also considering the fact it's for a rival?
Doge: he sighs Honestly, I don't know. I guess you could just say that I care for you. And I want what's best for you.
Cat: Oh...
Cat is staring blankly, he almost completely stops his focus after hearing the words "care for you". He is lost in a trance as he begins blushing brightly as his heartbeat accelerates at a rapid pace. He did not expect Doge to say that. And it surely caught him off guard for several reasons.Cat's ears begin to drool down before he manages to utter words from his mouth.
Cat: his voice is weak Yeah, here it is. My place. he gulps as he fidgets with his paws Thanks again Doge.
Doge: Jesus, Cat, are you alright? Your face is all red a- he gets quickly interrupted by Cat
Cat: It's blood! Blood is rushing up to my face in order to help heal all the wounds. Yeah... he chuckles awkwardly before weakly getting off Doge I can walk inside. Plus, any of the Cats can hear you coming in! Hyperacusis...
Doge: Oh no, I think I understand. I'm the same. I can hear some of my colleagues from outside! Okay, I'll leave you to it. See you, Cat. he walks away and moves his gigantic pile of unconscious fighters
Cat: Yeah, bye... Doge... he gulps before walking inside and going to sleep on the couch, his body is too sore to climb up stairs, he thinks to himself before sleeping (Shit! What is this that I'm feeling? Why am I flaring up all of a sudden, I don't feel sick or anything, yet it is making me feel so god damn nervous and uneasy! Is it... no, it can't be. No, no, no, no, NO! The last thing I want is to... feel like that in front of Doge. He's the enemy, and a shit one too! Yet, he is so nice to me whenever we're not fighting, he's funny and he knows how I feel. And, I loved being in his arms! WHAT IS THIS!? This simply can't be happening. Maybe if I fall asleep, this awkward feeling can finally go away. Yeah, I'll just sleep, it'll all be sorted, and I won't have to deal with any slander whatsoever.)
TO BE CONTINUED
(for real this time!)
Okay! That was pretty cool, forty three editions of my story DONE! And this is probably a really long one too! It is probably rounding up to 9K words, but I can't be for sure. I am simply guessing while I'm writing, I'm not some blatant magician, okay? In this edition, neither anyone made a debut, nor did it mark the start of a new arc in the story. So I did something REALLY interesting, and completely flipped my usual writing technique onto its ass and burned it shitless! I also gave more plot dialogue to Bob, as he never got enough, despite being the main protagonist of my story. So I increased his appearances, from like 9%, to literally 90%! I hope you enjoyed this change of writing that I did, and I hope you preferred the increased dialogue for Bob.
As always, stay tuned for the next edition of, The Battle Cats: X! Coming very soon, to a story near you!
The Battle Cats (2014) and its respective characters and features are all owned by Ponos Corporation.
The character Bob is owned by me, however, feel free to use him, just as long as you use him for free, and credit the owner.
This fiction is 100% unofficial and can be considered as Fan Made.