Chapter 17

Shadow Valley, Texas 1870

Halona awoke to the early morning sunlight streaming through the window. She stretched and turned to see Buck lying next to her, still asleep. She watched his peaceful face for a few moments before untangling her body from his embrace, being careful not to wake him.

"Where are you going?" Buck mumbled, his voice thick with sleep. His arm shot out, instinctively wrapping around her waist and pulling her back against him.

Halona sighed contentedly as Buck's strong arms encircled her from behind, his solid warmth enveloping her. "The kids..." she murmured, eyes fluttering closed as she allowed herself to sink into his embrace.

"It's Sunday, Hallie," he rumbled against the soft skin of her neck, his breath sending delicious shivers cascading down her spine. Warm kisses trailed along the curve of her ear as a hand roamed soothingly down the small of her back. "They won't be awake for ages yet."

A breathy giggle escaped her at the affectionate nickname. "Hallie?"

Buck hummed an inquisitive note, his wandering caresses stalling momentarily. "You don't like it?"

"No, no... I do." Halona twisted in the circle of his arms until they were face to face, mesmerized by the warm amber fire of his gaze. "It's much better than 'Halonie Bologna'." She wrinkled her nose playfully. "You know, like bologna salami?"

He blinked at her in mild confusion, one dark brow arching. "Can't say I'm familiar with that particular reference,"

"Oh!" Halona flushed slightly, feeling a bit foolish. "Right, of course you wouldn't have...well, it's kind of like a slice of processed lunch meat. Salted and pressed together into a big loaf, then sliced really thin?"

Buck chuckled, the rumbling sound warming her from the inside out. "I see. So it was an insult of sorts then, this 'bologna' business?"

"Definitely an insult," she confirmed. "The bane of my childhood existence - courtesy of one Henry Perkins and his merry little band of devil spawns." She rolled her eyes dramatically at the memory. "That kid was an absolute monster back then."

"Well, I'm sure Henry Perkins feels just awful about tormenting a sweet young thing like yourself." Buck grinned rakishly, pulling her flush against him once more.

Halona snorted indelicately. "Last I heard, he had like three baby mamas and was doing time for petty theft, so I doubt he was losing much sleep over third-grade bullying."

"Hm, in that case..." Buck cupped her face in one broad palm, tilting it up until their lips were a breath apart. His free hand skated up her ribcage, fingertips blazing a molten trail in their wake. "Allow me to make it up to you, Hallie."

The barely breathed endearment was the only warning she had before his mouth crashed over hers in a searing kiss. Halona melted into him with a helpless little moan, her body instinctively curving to maximize their contact. His tongue delved between her lips, stroking and twining with sensuous leisure until she could only whimper softly.

All too soon, a nagging lead weight began pressing in her chest. With sheer force of will, Halona tore her mouth away, struggling to gather her scattered thoughts.

"Buck..." She met his passion-darkened gaze, her eyes clouding with a sad sort of resolution. "I know there's someone else in your life right now, and as much as I wish things were different..."

"It's nothin' serious," The words tumbled from his lips in a hushed rush, as if reading the increasingly conflicted emotions playing over her features. "Just a few dinners."

"I'm just fucking your life up," she said, a tremor in her voice as she tried to pull away. Not that she wanted to, but she knew she had to. The depth of her feelings for him terrified her, and the thought of hurting him was unbearable.

Buck chuckled, a teasing sound. "The language that falls out of that sweet mouth of yours." He said, pulling her back to face him. He cupped her face and kissed her gently, a spark igniting between them despite the tension.

Lost in the moment, Halona responded with fervor. But as quickly as it started, she pulled back, steading her breath she looked into his eyes.

"I'm not the one for you, Buck," she choked out, blinking back tears. "I wish I was. You're the best man I know. That I've ever known, but I'm not."

"You keep yer secrets," he said softly, wiping away a stray tear. "I know you're scared, but your past don't matter to me."

Their conversation was cut short by the sounds of children's laughter echoing down the hallway. Halona leaned in and kissed him one last time, a silent goodbye. Wrapping the sheet around herself, she walked to the door, her heart heavy, the weight of her decision settling on her shoulders.