Nothing Resembling Normal

by Diva In The House

Roy made a promise to Joanne before they got married. It's a promise Roy hadn't had any trouble keeping until Johnny came along. But with a little help from Joanne, he and Johnny might be able to work out a new kind of arrangement. Summer of 51s-Sharing, Normal

"It's not normal, for crying out loud." Roy could hear Chet's voice as he entered the day room. "What the hell is wrong with you, Johnny?"

Johnny scowled as he leaned against the counter, taking a drink from the coffee cup in his hand. "What're you trying to imply, Chet?"

Chet looked baffled for a moment, as if he was trying to collect his own thoughts. "I…I wasn't implying anything. You're the one who said you met some guy at a bar."

Roy sighed internally as he found himself a cup and filled it. Just another morning with Johnny and Chet sniping at each other. Nothing abnormal about that.

"Okay, so what if I did?" Johnny asked. "People do that."

"Normal people don't." Chet shot back.

The tones went off before Roy could get his first sip, and he set the cup down to head out to the squad with Johnny. Cap handed him the address slip and they were on their way.

Once they finished the call and met up at Rampart, they climbed back into the squad for the drive back. "Sounds like I missed a whole lot of excitement this morning." Roy commented casually.

Johnny huffed and rolled his eyes. "Just said more than I intended. Leave it to Chet to pick it up and run with it. Whatever, it doesn't matter."

The resigned tone in Johnny's voice caught Roy's attention, though he wasn't sure he wanted Johnny to elaborate further. Roy had noticed, too, that Johnny would drop little tidbits about his life outside the station into conversation. Intentional or not, it sure seemed like Johnny was trying to send a message. To what end, Roy wasn't sure.

Johnny shifted in his seat. "So I met some guy at a bar. Big deal."

Roy took a deep breath and exhaled quietly. Whether he liked it or not, Johnny was going to elaborate.

"It wasn't what Chet tried to imply." Johnny continued. "It's not that kind of bar. I've got other places if I just wanna pick up a guy."

"Johnny—"

"No, listen." Johnny pressed on for a moment before he paused, shrugging. "Suppose you're the last one that wants to hear about that."

Roy was well used to Johnny's random thoughts and conversational tangents. Even if Roy didn't want to hear them, it wouldn't stop Johnny from carrying on anyway.

But this…this was different. Sure, Johnny had dropped hints here and there before about his possible proclivities, but Roy had been fairly certain he was mostly doing it to get a rise out of Chet. Now he wasn't so sure.

He backed the squad into the bay and shut off the engine. It was no easy thing, being different in that sense, Roy understood that. He had married Joanne as much out of love for her as for a desire to be normal. Those desires were still there, though he was never much tempted to indulge them.

That was before Johnny had come into his life and turned it upside down. It had started innocently enough, when Johnny had come into the room to inquire about the paramedic program. That stubborn tilt to his chin, the skepticism in his expression, the challenging tone in his voice, it had sparked something in Roy that he found difficult to tamp down.

Of course, now that they had been working together for a while, that spark had abated somewhat, tempered by the realities of spending so much time with him on the job. Johnny talked too much, got whipped up about the most inconsequential things, went off on random tangents that Roy couldn't follow.

Still. Still.

"I don't mind." He found himself telling Johnny. "You're gonna tell me about it anyway."

Johnny glanced over, his eyes narrowing, seeming to study Roy. It was equally unsettling and thrilling. Finally he glanced away, shaking his head as he opened the door of the squad. "Nah, forget it. It wasn't what Chet thought it was, that's all."

The door slammed closed behind him, and Roy rested his head against the headrest, letting out a short sigh. It would do no good to press Johnny, he knew that.

No, he needed to keep this tamped down. They were partners, co-workers, friends. To go beyond that would risk too much. And Johnny wasn't likely interested anyway.

He opened the door to the squad and climbed down, returning to the day room, where Johnny and Chet were once again squabbling about God knew what.

Mike was at the table perusing his newspaper and occasionally taking a glance at the goings on. Marco was chopping vegetables and minding a pot on the stove. Cap was probably off doing paperwork or whatever he usually did to ignore the shenanigans.

It all felt so normal, at least, it should have. Maybe it would be if it weren't for his own thoughts. Those definitely weren't normal.

He needed to put those aside. They weren't doing him any good.

# # #

Roy pulled into the garage the next morning, shutting off the car and going inside. Everyone else was already up, and Roy could hear the sound of cartoons in the living room as he made his way to the kitchen and kissed Joanne on the neck. "Morning."

Joanne jumped slightly, her squeak turning to a brief laugh. "Morning. No Johnny today?"

"Oh, uh, he had other plans." Roy answered casually as he found a mug and poured himself a cup of coffee.

"That's too bad." Joanne responded. "Chris will be terribly disappointed."

"Maybe some other time." Roy told her.

In truth, ever since those thoughts about Johnny had resurfaced, Roy was reluctant to invite him home. Yes, he was already very much like family, but to have him in such close proximity was bound to stir up Joanne's suspicions, and he didn't want that.

How could he explain to his wife that the part of himself he had vowed to put aside forever had somehow resurfaced? No, not resurfaced. It had never really left. It didn't matter, anyway. Again, it wasn't as if Johnny had shown a lick of interest in him.

"Well, breakfast is almost ready, anyway." Joanne told him.

"I'll get the kids." Roy answered, starting toward the living room. "Come on and eat."

"Where's Uncle Johnny?" Chris asked.

"Well, he had other plans." Roy explained. "I'm sure he'll come over some other time."

Chris looked deeply disappointed, but climbed up into his chair while Roy got Jenny settled in her high chair. He joined Joanne in getting the kids' breakfast plates ready while Joanne readied theirs, and soon they were at the kitchen table and eating.

This was exactly where he belonged, home with his family. Anything else was simply unthinkable, a mere fantasy. But that didn't stop his mind from wandering ever so slightly.

Once breakfast was done and the kids were cleaned up, it was on with all his other mundane chores he had planned. Johnny would have been only too willing to help him out, he knew that, and Roy found himself regretting not inviting him over.

No, it was better this way. The fewer distractions, the better.

It was only at the end of the day, once the kids were in bed and he and Joanne were settled in on the couch for some evening TV, that Joanne mentioned anything. "Okay, what's going on?"

"Nothing." Roy told her. "Why would you think something's wrong?"

"You've been preoccupied with something all day." Joanne replied.

He should have known he wouldn't be able to get anything past Joanne. She knew him better than almost anyone else. She, and she alone, knew his past. He should be able to trust her with this.

He took her hand, stroking over the back of it with his thumb. "You remember the promise I made to you before we got married, right? That I was going to…you know, put that part of my life behind me."

"I remember." Joanne answered carefully.

How the hell was he going to explain this? "Well, you know how I've been working with Johnny this whole time."

Joanne's mouth curved into a knowing smile. "Yes, I know. All you talked about when you two first met was getting him to sign up for paramedic training. I didn't think much of it then, but…no, go on. I'm probably getting ahead of things."

Roy was taken aback, but maybe he shouldn't have been. "No, no. Go on."

Joanne squeezed his hand. "Let's just say you appear to have a type."

"Jo, come on." Roy protested, even as he could feel the heat rising, knowing it would show on his face. "It's not…ah, hell."

Joanne's voice lost its previous teasing tone. "I know what you promised me when we got married. But to hold you to a promise you might not be able to keep seems…well, cruel, somehow."

"Jo, it's not even worth thinking about." He told her, even as those thoughts kept surfacing. "He…well, I think he's like that, but…"

"So you have a crush." Joanne responded gently. "I'm sure this isn't the first time since we've been married."

"Yeah, that's it. Just a crush." Roy let out a long breath. "It's nothing, right?"

"I don't know, you tell me." Joanne replied. "Does he know you've got a crush on him?"

"No, of course not." Roy shook his head. "Wouldn't dream of telling him. No sense ruining both of our lives."

Joanne let out a short laugh. "It's funny. Here I was worried for no reason."

"Why were you worried?"

"Oh, I don't know." Joanne sighed. "I suppose in the back of my mind I always worried that you'd wind up regretting making that promise. I never wanted you to be unhappy."

"I'm not unhappy." Roy assured her. "I love you. I always have. I wouldn't have made that promise if I didn't."

"But this thing with Johnny's going to eat at you." Joanne told him. "I know that."

"That doesn't mean I want to do anything about it." Roy asserted. "And I shouldn't."

"I'll tell you what." Joanne suggested. "Why don't we sleep on it? We can talk about this."

"There's nothing to talk about." Roy told her firmly.

Joanne leaned over and kissed him. "The gentleman doth protest too much."

"What do you want me to do, Jo?" Roy asked resignedly. "Throw myself at him?"

Joanne gave him a look that indicated he was being more than a little ridiculous. "Don't be so dramatic. Now, are you coming to bed?"

"Don't have to ask me twice."

Once in their bedroom, Roy pulled her in close, reveling in the feel of her smooth skin and soft body, just as he had throughout their marriage. The love they shared was real, solid. Not like whatever nebulous thoughts he had of Johnny.

And yet, as he lay there afterward, with Joanne curled up against him, those nebulous thoughts wouldn't let him rest. What the hell was wrong with him?

No, he knew exactly what the problem was, and he sat right next to Roy in the squad every shift. It wasn't a problem that would be easily solved anytime soon.

# # #

The next shift was uneventful, and so Roy spent an awful lot of time listening to Johnny and Chet snipe at each other. Johnny seemed to be in a bad mood, and Chet only seemed to want to antagonize him further.

Finally, Roy had heard enough. "Chet, leave him alone."

"Ah, Johnny knows I'm just picking on him." Chet nudged Johnny. "Right?"

Johnny shot a glare at Chet and rose from the table to leave the room, and Chet seemed utterly baffled. "What did I say?"

"What didn't you say?" Marco asked. "You've been bothering him all day."

"Yeah, you're lucky he's not the violent type." Mike added. "Anyone else would have punched your lights out by now."

Roy left them behind and went off in search of Johnny. He found him sitting on the desk in the dorm, frowning as he turned over a piece of paper in his hands.

He fished a lighter out of his shirt pocket and flicked it, setting fire to the piece of paper and quickly dropping it, sliding down from the desk to stamp it out.

"What're you trying to do, burn down the station?" Roy commented.

Johnny's head jerked up, his eyes going wide as he shoved the lighter back in his pocket. "Nah, just getting rid of something."

"Hell of a way to do it."

Johnny rolled his eyes and shoved his hands in his pockets. "You want something?"

"Just checking up on you." Roy told him. "Chet's been kinda hard on you today."

"Nothing to do with Chet."

It was clear that Johnny wasn't going to be forthcoming. "Listen, if you don't wanna talk about it, it's okay. I'll leave you alone. Just don't burn down the place, okay?"

Roy started to walk away when Johnny's voice stopped him. "It's dumb."

Roy let out a heavy sigh and turned around. "Okay, let's hear it."

Johnny stared at a spot on the floor, his mouth working the way it did when he was thinking hard about something. "Met this guy. Really liked him. Got to talking, whatever, and he gives me his number. Tells me to call him, because he couldn't stick around for whatever reason. I think he had a ring on, but I don't really remember. Don't really pay too much attention to that stuff."

He took a deep breath and exhaled. "Anyway, I tried to call him earlier. Some woman answered, I guess it was his wife. I could hear kids in the background. I hung up."

"And is that when you decided to burn his number?" Roy asked.

Johnny started pacing, then stopped to look upward before looking forward, away from Roy. "You wouldn't believe how many married guys are looking for some action. I don't know if they're closet cases or just looking for a thrill or…well, anyway. Usually I don't care. I'm usually just looking for a little action myself. I don't wanna know what they have going on at home. It's none of my business."

Roy sensed that maybe, just maybe, there was an opening here. "Suppose it'd be different if everyone was open about it."

Johnny turned around, eyeing him suspiciously. "What do you mean?"

Roy knew he'd have to tread carefully. "I mean…if you knew a guy, knew his wife, and if everyone kind of knew what was going on."

Johnny's expression smoothed out to a slight smile, scoffing and shaking his head. "That's good. You ever consider writing? 'Dear Penthouse Forum, you'll never believe—'"

"Johnny." Roy cut him off, realizing how ridiculous the whole idea sounded. "Forget it."

He started to walk out of the dorm when Johnny's voice stopped him again. "I'm not stupid, you know."

Roy swallowed hard, his heart thudding so hard he was sure Johnny could hear it from across the room. This was ridiculous, he never should have brought this up. He should have kept this…whatever it was to himself.

He heard footsteps behind him. Those footsteps stopped right behind him. "Tell me more about this guy and his wife." Johnny spoke quietly.

Roy shook his head. "Forget it. I never should have said anything."

Johnny scoffed. "Kinda late for that now."

Johnny came out from behind Roy, standing in front of him and facing him, his hands still in his pockets. His steady stare was a little unnerving. Had he felt something all this time and kept it to himself?

The weight of Johnny's eyes on him was too much, and he glanced away, almost praying for a call to break the tension.

"Okay, I guess you can tell me about some other guy and his wife, if that's easier." Johnny finally spoke. "But honestly, I kinda had a feeling about you."

"Is that right?"

"Yup." Johnny nodded, taking his hands out of his pockets and folding his arms across his chest. "Knew it the minute I walked into that room to sign up for paramedic training."

"No, you didn't."

"Oh, I did." Johnny answered airily. "You were real hot to get me to sign up. Did you lean on any of the other guys that way?"

"I didn't have to."

Johnny's expression turned to one of amusement. "You wanted me there."

He tilted his head for a moment, seeming to have realized something. "You have a type, don't ya?"

"Johnny, for Christ's sake." Roy huffed irritably, even as he knew both Joanne and Johnny had a point. Beyond their physical resemblance, they shared a similar sense of humor, a passionate temperament that came out in sometimes unexpected ways. "Fine, yeah, maybe I do. What of it?"

"Nothing." Johnny shrugged. "Does Joanne know?"

"Yeah, she knows." Roy admitted. "Knew it before I did."

"She's not stupid, either."

"No, she's not." Roy answered. "And listen, there's nothing you need to do about this. It's not a big deal, I guess, now that it's, well, out in the open."

Johnny frowned sightly, unfolding his arms and moving toward Roy. Roy felt as if he was rooted to the floor, bracing himself for what might come. What it was, Roy had no idea. When it came to Johnny, he was ready for damn near anything.

He closed his eyes and waited, swallowing hard. Suddenly he felt Johnny's finger under his chin, his thumb brushing along his jaw.

"Open your eyes, Roy." Johnny spoke quietly, a hint of exasperation in his tone.

Roy did so just in time to see Johnny lean in, his own eyes fluttering closed as he briefly, gently, touched his lips to Roy's and pulled away. Johnny's eyes fluttered open again, and he studied Roy briefly before nodding. "Not bad."

"Um…yeah, yeah." Roy was having trouble finding his voice. "Not bad."

Johnny's mouth quirked in that familiar half-smile, and Roy found himself wanting to kiss that mouth again, a real kiss, not like what had just occurred.

The tones went off, jolting Roy out of his thoughts, and just like that, the spell was broken. He joined Johnny in the squad and took the address slip from Cap.

Johnny had kissed him. He hadn't imagined it. It was very real.

What happened now? Roy had no idea. He supposed he'd somehow figure it out when they got back from this call.

# # #

A series of runs kept them busy through the rest of the day, and it was nearly lights out by the time they finally caught a break.

"Man, I'm beat." Johnny sounded as exhausted as Roy felt.

"Yeah, me too." Roy answered as he shut off the squad. "You wanna come over to the house for breakfast in the morning?"

"Sure." Johnny agreed. "Can't wait to tell Joanne that I kissed her husband."

"Johnny…" Roy huffed.

"Relax." Johnny laughed. "I won't mention it. Unless you mention it."

Roy drummed his fingers on the steering wheel. "No, I'll talk to her. Later."

Johnny nodded, his expression turning more sober. "Then I won't say anything. Promise."

They climbed down from the squad and started toward the dorm. The engine crew was already bunked down, and it wasn't long before Roy and Johnny did the same. Long after the lights were out, Roy stared up at the ceiling, that kiss still stuck in his mind. He had no idea how he thought Johnny's lips would feel against his, but he hadn't expected them to feel so soft, so gentle, almost like Joanne's.

He heard Johnny shift around in the next bunk, let out a short huff, then shift around again. It sounded as if he was having as much trouble winding down as Roy was.

There was a muffled curse from Johnny's bunk, and Roy heard him get up and put on his turnouts, accompanied by the familiar crinkle of a cigarette pack. He crossed right in front of Roy's bunk and headed out of the dorm.

Roy wasn't sleeping either. Not long after Johnny left the dorm, he followed suit, making his way through the day room to find Johnny outside. The scent of cigarette smoke hung heavily in the air, a plume curling upward from the glowing end of the cigarette that Johnny held loosely in his fingers.

He closed the door behind him, and Johnny turned his head briefly before looking forward again. As Roy approached, he could hear the crinkling of the pack as Johnny shook out a cigarette and held the pack out to him.

Roy accepted the offering, briefly searching his pockets for a lighter before a light flashed in front of him. Johnny's face was silhouetted in the flame's glow as he held it to the cigarette in Roy's mouth, and Roy briefly inhaled to catch it alight.

All too soon, the light was gone with a click, and they were bathed in darkness once again. "Insomnia acting up again?" Roy asked.

"No more than usual." Johnny answered. "Could ask you the same."

Roy shook his head and took a long drag from his cigarette, blowing it out through his nose. "Just can't get settled tonight."

"I wonder why." Johnny replied flatly.

"Not for the reasons you'd think." Roy told him.

Johnny took a long drag of his own, tilting his chin upward as he blew out a long plume. "Liar."

He flicked off a bit of ash, holding the cigarette loosely in his fingers. "Look, why don't we just forget about it. Just forget anything ever happened." Johnny told him in a resigned tone. "We'll just go on about our business, same as always."

That was the last thing Roy wanted, and he was oddly hurt by Johnny's words. After all, Johnny had kissed him, not the other way around.

But maybe Johnny was second guessing the whole thing. Roy couldn't blame him. It wasn't as if they'd ever be able to have anything like a normal relationship.

"Listen, I'm used to laying low and hiding." Johnny continued. "But you, well, you're not."

"Who says we have to hide?" Roy challenged him.

Johnny scoffed at that. "You can't possibly be that naïve, Roy. Come on."

"Maybe I am." Roy answered quietly. "Maybe I'm naïve enough to believe we can make something of this."

"You're not just naïve." Johnny took another long drag from his cigarette. "You're out of your damn mind."

"What, you don't think it's possible?" Roy wasn't willing to let this pass.

"Anything's possible." Johnny answered. "But it's not probable. I know better."

The bitterness and hurt in Johnny's voice was something Roy wasn't used to hearing. He moved in closer, reaching for Johnny's hand.

Just before he was able to take hold, Johnny moved to take another drag, finishing off the cigarette and putting it out in the bucket full of sand by the door. "I'm gonna try and get some sleep."

With that, Johnny went back inside, leaving Roy out in the dark. Maybe he had been foolish, thinking that anything good could have come out of this.

But he wasn't going to forget about this so easily, and despite Johnny's words, he didn't think Johnny would, either.

Roy put out his own cigarette and went back inside. All was quiet now, save for a couple of the guys snoring. Even Johnny seemed to have settled back in, one arm thrown over his eyes and his other hand spread out over the covers.

Even if Johnny wasn't sleeping, there was no point in trying to broach the subject with him again. No, he'd settle down and try to get a little sleep himself.

Maybe things would look different in the morning.

# # #

Johnny pulled into Roy's driveway right behind him as the other man pulled into his garage.

This was a terrible idea. Just like when he kissed Roy right there in the goddamn dorm, when anyone could have walked in on them.

Sure, Johnny had been carrying this stupid crush on Roy around with him all this time, and there was a part of him that hoped, vaguely, that the feelings were returned. He hadn't expected it to come to pass, and now that everything was out in the open between them, Johnny wasn't so sure he wanted it.

Roy climbed out of his car and spotted Johnny, greeting him with a casual wave. How could he be so goddamn calm? How?

Johnny took a deep breath and exhaled in an attempt to calm himself. This was ridiculous. It was just another morning at the DeSotos. There was no reason to be so scared.

He climbed down, closing the door and starting toward Roy. "Hey."

Rot greeted him with his usual slight smile and a nod. "Hey."

Did Roy feel the tension between them? Johnny had sure as hell felt it last night, standing out there in the darkness, the air so charged between them that lightning should have struck.

But now, here in the light of morning, Roy seemed relaxed, placid. Easy for him, Johnny supposed. After all, it was his house, his family inside. Despite the warm welcome, Johnny was very much an outsider. He knew his place, and it was foolish to expect that to change.

Roy's hand landed on Johnny's shoulder, startling him out of his thoughts. "Let's see what Joanne has going for breakfast, huh?"

"Sure, yeah." Johnny agreed, even as he dreaded facing her. There was a reason he never got too deeply involved with the men in his life. Most of them were married, and Johnny just didn't want to know too much. He was in it for the thrill as much as they were, no strings attached.

It had worked pretty well until the other day.

And here he was again. As attracted as he was to Roy, he liked Joanne, respected her. He would never do anything to hurt her.

Johnny was a lot of things, but he wasn't a home wrecker.

If she really was comfortable with how Roy was, that would change things a little. But it would still be far from a normal situation. He would have to steal time with Roy when he could. Sure, he was used to doing that with most guys anyway, but this was different.

"Dad!" Chris shouted as soon as they walked inside, throwing his arms around Roy's legs. Jenny wasn't far behind, mimicking her big brother by doing the same.

And that was the other part of it. The kids. Sure, they were little now, and didn't fully understand, but as they got older, they'd surely have more questions, questions there was no way any of them would be able to sufficiently answer.

"Take it easy." Roy laughed quietly, bending down to give the kids a quick hug. "And hey, look who else is here."

Chris pulled away and looked around Roy, lighting up when he spotted Johnny. "Uncle Johnny!"

"Hey, kiddo." Johnny kneeled down as both kids climbed on him, and he relaxed and let them drag him to the floor, both of them giggling as they climbed all over him.

"Come on, let him up." Roy told them. "Breakfast is just about on."

The kids climbed off him, and Roy offered him a hand up. Johnny took it and let Roy pull him to his feet, that electric spark going through him again at the move.

Roy seemed to notice it too, quickly squeezing Johnny's hand. Joanne suddenly appeared, and Roy let go of Johnny's hand as quickly as he'd taken it.

"Johnny, hi." Joanne flashed him that warm smile. "You must be starving."

"Uh, yeah." Johnny nodded. "Kind of had a tough shift. But I'll let Roy fill you in on that."

Soon they were all settled in around the table, and it felt like any other morning he spent at the DeSotos. Johnny found himself relaxing as Roy told Joanne about some of the calls they'd had over the course of the shift, and they fell into that easy rhythm that had defined their working relationship over the last year or so.

"Johnny, did you get enough to eat?" Joanne asked him.

"Oh, yeah." Johnny answered. "Good as always, thanks."

"Good." Joanne smiled warmly and nodded. "There's more coffee if you want it."

"Think I will." Johnny responded, rising from the table, glancing at Roy.

Roy was focused on taking care of the kids, and so Johnny followed Joanne to the kitchen. "Really appreciate this, Joanne."

"We like having you over." Joanne told him. "You're practically part of the family by now."

"Yeah, funny you should mention that." Johnny murmured to himself as he poured another cup.

"Did you say something?" Joanne asked.

"Um, no, nothing." Johnny told her. "Just talking to myself, I guess."

"Johnny." Joanne's voice caught him just before he left the kitchen. Something was different about her tone, and Johnny didn't quite know how to interpret it.

When he turned around, Joanne was leaning on the sink with one hand on her hip. "Roy and I have talked about you, you know."

"Uh, yeah, yeah, that's what he said, too." Johnny approached Joanne and set his coffee cup on the counter. "Wasn't sure if he was kidding or not at first."

"Well, as you know, Roy's not much of a kidder, not when it comes to serious matters." Joanne told him. "And this is quite a serious matter to him."

Johnny glanced out to the dining room, watching Roy with the kids. He happened to look up just then, meeting Johnny with a slight smile that almost felt reassuring.

"See what I mean?" Joanne nudged him gently. "That's how he always looks at you."

Johnny had never really noticed, or maybe he was just trying to deny it all this time. "Oh."

"Oh, indeed." Joanne laughed softly. "You see, I've always known Roy was…different, in that way. He promised me before we got married that he'd leave that part of himself behind. I didn't think anything of it. There was no reason to."

The implication was clear, as clear as it was for Johnny. Roy wasn't the kind of man Johnny typically found attractive, but when he'd walked into that office to inquire about paramedic training, there was just something about him, something kindly, something comforting.

He'd had a feeling there was some mutual spark there, but Johnny had mostly dismissed it. Nothing seemed to come of it, so Johnny was content enough to just be friends and partners with him.

"Joanne, I don't…look, I'm not trying to take him away from you." Johnny told her. "I don't want that."

Joanne reached out and gently rubbed Johnny's arm. "I know that. And I'm not worried about that. If it was anyone else, I'd worry. But not you. Never you."

Johnny was puzzled. "Why?"

Joanne smiled. "Because I trust you. I know you'll take care of Roy just as I do, because I know you care about him, too."

Johnny swallowed hard at that, not sure how to feel. Relieved? Probably. Unsure of what came next? Definitely.

"Johnny, when I tell you that you're practically part of this family, I mean that." Joanne told him. "And I don't believe Roy can deny that part of himself forever. I wouldn't want him to."

"So, what, we'd have to work out a custody agreement or something?" Johnny couldn't help making a crack.

Joanne, much to his relief, laughed softly. "I suppose it would be something like that. But goodness, we're all adults, aren't we? I'm sure we can figure it out."

Johnny took a long drink of his coffee, suddenly overwhelmed by the idea that he might get something he, up until now, was only vaguely aware he wanted. "Are you sure you're cool with this? Because if you're not—"

"Johnny." Joanne interrupted patiently. "Roy and I have talked. He knows exactly how I feel about this. If I had a problem with this, I would certainly say so."

"And if there ever comes a time you change your mind, I'll put the brakes on." Johnny told her. "No questions asked."

"Then I would say we've come to an agreement." Joanne responded, reaching out and squeezing Johnny's hand.

"Guess so." Johnny couldn't believe it. "Well, um, hey. Thanks. For breakfast and for…well, you know. Understanding."

Joanne smiled broadly, wrapping her arms around Johnny and hugging him tightly. "You're welcome just about any time. You should know that by now."

Johnny hugged her in response before pulling away and finishing off his coffee. "Guess I'll get going. And uh, I guess we'll figure it out."

He left Joanne behind him, heading back to the dining room and ruffling the kids' hair, much to their delight. "Think I'm gonna take off."

Roy glanced up at him. "You and Joanne talk?"

"Oh, yeah." Johnny answered with a casual air he didn't necessarily feel. "We've, uh, kinda reached an understanding."

"Good." Roy smiled slightly at that. "I'll walk you out. Need to get started on some chores anyway."

"Right, yeah."

They went out to the garage, Johnny's heart thudding hard in his chest, unsure how to approach this. "When I said Joanne and I reached an understanding—"

"I know." Roy responded quietly, taking Johnny's hand in his. "And she and I will keep talking, too. If anything changes—"

"Don't sweat it." Johnny assured him. "I already know."

Roy nodded, taking in a breath and letting it out before moving in closer. Johnny's heart instantly started beating a little faster as he moved to meet him, just like he had back at the dorm.

He wasn't sure who kissed who first, who pulled who in closer, how their bodies were suddenly pressed together, almost becoming one, but he didn't care. This was more than something physical, this was something deeper. It was friendship and understanding and trust that had developed between them over the last year or so.

Roy broke it off first, touching his forehead to Johnny's and threading his fingers through Johnny's hair at the back of his neck. "It's soft. Not sure what I was expecting."

Johnny laughed quietly, placing his hands on Roy's face, his thumbs grazing over his stubble, leaning in to kiss him again. God, if only they—

No, there would be time enough for that. They'd figure it out, somehow.

Johnny pulled back slightly, letting his hand drift to Roy's chest and rest there. "I'm gonna go. See you next shift."

"Yeah, yeah." Roy answered quietly, an edge of roughness to his voice. "And maybe, uh, we can get together afterward."

"Yeah, we'll figure it out." Johnny responded. "We'll figure it out."

Johnny left Roy behind him and got into the Rover. He had no idea how this was all going to work out. But since Roy and Joanne were willing to give this arrangement a shot, he was too.

It was very different, and nothing resembling normal, but maybe it would work out. Johnny was looking forward to finding out.