Chapter 6: Cat herding and mouse.
"Was that… gah, why are incidents from the 2050s even on this thing?" Kaname grumbled to herself, only having a vague idea of the colonization of mars because she'd read what felt like half the codex entries on humanity while going stir-crazy on the ship. Taking a guess from her hazy memory, she looked up from the datapad she'd been squinting at, leaning backwards into the cushions of the couch she was sitting on.
"How're you doing, Sousuke?" The boy looked up from his own datapad, glancing at her and shrugging, though as he did she caught a glimpse of the screen, and the schematic on it. "Hey, wait a minute, that's not the aptitude test… is it?"
"It isn't really relevant," he responded. "I have no desire for future education, so I'm familiarizing myself with the functions of the ship's armory."
"Yeah… no." The teal haired girl shook her head. "You heard the captain, that's not gunna fly."
"I've looked into the requirements for most of the programs we're eligible for," Sousuke looked up from his reading. "I can make up my conventional education when we've reached a secure location."
"Oh… right…" Kaname's expression fell. She'd been so caught up in arguing with both Joker and Spectre Alenko that she'd completely forgotten. "I'm not going back to Earth."
Sousuke didn't do anything sudden, like dropping his datapad or leaping to his feet, but the widened eyes and rather sharp order of "Explain" showed his surprise.
Nearby, however, where she was laying upside down on the couch, feet kicked up over a backrest, Tomo made up for the lack of reaction by dropping her own pad on her face and letting out a quiet "Owww…" as the datapad tumbled to the floor.
Kaname's eyes flicked to the girl who was now rubbing her nose, and her friend in an armchair across the room, rubbing at the bridge of her nose. She was actually sort of relieved that Ranma had decided to 'go for a walk' and blow off his test.
"Well…you remember how there's that thing we aren't supposed to bring up?" She paused briefly. "Well, would you believe Arm Slaves having…certain support systems is a military secret?"
"Given how securely the one we offloaded was transported?" Sousuke asked, eyebrow raising.
"Well, I kinda…maybe…showed them my hand after getting frustrated about their hypocrisy"
Sousuke rubbed his forehead. "You didn't…" he paused for a moment, looking for the correct words. "You went into one of 'those' tangents, didn't you?"
She could only nod, shamefaced.
"Okay, we're missing a whole lot of context here," Tomo said, having swung her feet down, and leaned slightly forward on the couch.
"That would be context we don't need." The black haired girl was interrupted by Yomi, who stood and made her way over to grab the other girl by the shoulder. "C'mon, we're getting lunch."
"Man, I'm not even hungry yet," the excitable girl responded, shrugging off her friend's hand.
"You don't wanna see what a kitchen full of alien food is like?" Yomi shot back. "I guess I'll go find out what Asari junkfood tastes like by my-" She was interrupted by Tomo bolting to her feet. The brown haired girl nodded at them on the way out.
Sousuke waited for the room to empty before he continued. "Since you haven't been deported to a lab or something, I assume you have a plan."
Kaname nodded tentatively. "The admiral I talked to sort of explained that I'm not in Alliance jurisdiction unless I agree to become a citizen. And Spectre Alenko can keep anyone on the ship if he wants to, so I sort of… requested permission to stay aboard." She had never, or at least very rarely, been on this end of the patient, expectant look Sousuke was giving her. She fidgeted under the pressure of the 'Okay, tell me what stupid thing you just did' look that she had used many times on him in the past.
"Also, I think we might be safest hanging out with the two idiots that want to destroy the new evil organization that's after what's in my head," The teal haired girl said venomously, clearly frustrated.
"I might agree with that," Sousuke said, slowly. "Unfortunately, we're being watched already."
"We're… what?" Kaname deadpanned.
"Whoever's doing it is very good, but I've caught a glimpse a time or two. The alarming part is Ranma, though. Why do you think he's been taking walks around the building ever since we got here?"
Kaname raised both hands. "Okay, that's not my fault, there's no way the Systems Alliance could get someone like Wraith on us that fast."
Sousuke grunted. "It might be better for us to stay on the ship," he admitted, with a slight quirk of the lips. "So that would be four idiots, then."
She stared at him for a few moments, before slumping back into the couch, "I guess I deserve that. Now take the damn aptitude test, because Spectre Alenko's made it very clear that he expects us to get some sort of education while we're there. I think he's got EDI writing it…"
"Understood," Sousuke responded, his tone as close as he got to sulking. Meanwhile, Kaname took a worried glance out the window, wondering if there was someone out there watching her through a high-powered scope. The sad part would be that it wouldn't be the first time.
HR.
"You know, it might have been a year, but I swear the Citadel used to be cleaner," Garrus noted, leading a small group of human teenagers through a bustling business sector of the Citadel. "Huh, I remember those bullet holes. I would figure the Keepers would have fixed that by now."
"How worried should we be that he can remember a set of bullet holes in a place this huge?" Taiga mumbled from the side of her mouth.
"I mean, he used to work as security here, so it's not that far-fetched, right?" Ryuuji replied, a bit nervously. They'd agreed to join the others on this trip to relax a little and get off of the ship, but a combination of Garrus' occasional casual aside comments about the criminal element, and a sort of unplaceable background tension was throwing a wrench into that plan.
"So is there anywhere in this place you haven't been shot at?" Tomo asked, sarcastically.
The Turian paused for a moment, visibly pondering. "Central operations, but that's because the guy didn't get to the elevator. The Geth invasion really added all sorts of weird places to that list."
"If I ever wondered why you two got along…" Kaname muttered, glancing over at Sousuke, who blinked at her in mild confusion.
"Getting the sinking suspicion we should have stuck with Avina."
"No way! This way we get the full scoop from someone that was on the inside!" The excitable black-haired girl exclaimed.
Yomi rubbed gently at the bridge of her glasses. "...Right."
"Yeah, okay, maybe I'm getting a little morbid," Garrus admitted. "Fortunately, we're coming up on a few food stalls, so we can take a break. One's even a human delicacy from Japan, apparently."
"Delicacy?" Tomo and Taiga perked up in unison.
"If it's a japanese delicacy...Kobe would be way too expensive, so I'd assume something else" Ryuuji stated matter-of-factly thinking with a hand under his chin.
"Just let me have this…" Tomo shot back, as the group started up a gently sloping ramp to the next floor.
"Is that… a ramen stall?" Kaname asked, as they reached the top of the ramp.
"Y'know what, given how long it's been since I had the ol' ghoul's ramen, I'll take that," Ranma commented.
"Geez! Make some more noise, would ya?!" Taiga yelled, repressing a flinch. "I didn't even notice you were here. I almost laid you out!"
The pigtailed martial artist paused for a moment, and then snorted, a small smile flashing across his face. "Yeah, sure, okay," he said.
Ryuuji winced as he noticed Taiga's expression steadily darkening. He was half-tempted to reach out to try and stop her when she whirled on the Ranma, glaring. "You wanna go, jackass!?" The short girl demanded, teeth gritted and left fist clenched at her side.
"Taiga, do you…" Ryuji started, laying a hand on her shoulder, only to have it shrugged off.
"Nah, it's fine, was tryin' not to laugh there," Ranma shrugged. "Okay shorty, one shot. Hardest you can."
The group backed away from the fuming girl and the casually standing martial artist, as Garrus twitched, and several people nearby started looking at them. "Kid, did you have to?" The Turian groaned.
"Yeah, pretty sure," Ranma shook his head, giving a look to Taiga that Ryuji couldn't read. "I think this needs to happen."
Garrus reluctantly nodded, taking his position at the side of the circle as the short girl took a stance. Across from her, Ranma took his own stance, hands on his knees as he leaned slightly forward.
"Let's get this Krogan headbutting competition over with," The Turian demanded. "Hopefully you guys can finish before C-Sec decides to actually show up."
"Whenever you're-" The pigtailed teen was cut off by his opponent moving forward with a shout of rage, letting fly with a straight punch that Ryuuji had seen floor full grown men, and himself. Ranma simply lifted one hand, catching it in the palm with a soft 'thwick' sound, his elbow not even moving.
The two stood, frozen for a moment, before she drew back and lashed out again, only to have her wrist grabbed in his hand. "I said one," he returned calmly, straightening from his stance and letting her wrist go.
She spun, using her caught fist as leverage to increase the strength of a roundhouse kick. He lashed out with his other hand, catching the leg at the ankle. "I said one shot," he noted, the two locked in a somewhat awkward position. Ryuuji winced as he saw the muscles in Ranma's arm flex, Taiga grunting as her hand was squeezed. She kept up her glare for another fifteen seconds, and Ryuuji could swear she was contemplating a headbutt before she looked away. "Fine, I give," She spat, her tone strained.
Ranma released both her hand and foot, backing away in a fluid motion that left her stumbling before Ryuuji steadied her arm.
"That wasn't bad, actually," the martial artist said as Taiga shook out her hand. "The stance was a little off, footwork wasn't quite right, but otherwise you had good form." Taiga just blinked at him, uncomprehending, before he shrugged. "You wanna let off steam sometime, we can probably find some place to spar."
"I… right," Taiga nodded, her anger seeming to bleed away into bafflement. Ranma turned away as the rest of the group relaxed a little, and she turned to Ryuji plaintively. "What just happened?"
The taller boy frowned. "I think you just picked a fight with a guy who is borderline supernatural, and he asked if you wanted to train with him." He replied, flatly.
"Yeah, get rid of the borderline part," Yomi interjected, walking up to the two and shaking her head. "I was in the front of the group when we escaped the Cerberus lab. I saw his friend throwing energy blasts."
"I'm… just gunna go get some ramen," Taiga replied weakly.
Ryuuji bit back a comment at that, turning to the stand only to see that Tomo was already there, sitting at the bar and enjoying a bowl. As the group approached, she looked up, noisily slurping some of the noodles.
"It's pretty good," she offered. "Tastes strange, though."
HR.
Tomo had no sense of taste, Ryuuji knew that now, as he sat staring into the bowl of 'ramen.' Normally he wouldn't be judging someone else's food like this, but the fact that it used pasta noodles was only the start of the problem, which was saying something.
Looking up from the bowl, he spotted the stall's attendant glancing around at the group with a hopeful smile. The others, meanwhile, were having varied reactions from indifference to mild discomfort. Aside from Tomo, who was noisily enjoying her second bowl.
"Huh, this broth… It ain't miso, or any kinda meat I recognize," Ranma started. "This some kinda alien animal or something?"
"It's…kinda like miso," Ryuuji stated.
"You've got a good sense of taste!" The server nodded. "It's our chain's patented Artificial Miso stock!"
The tall boy opened and closed his mouth several times. "Artificial… how do you even…"
"Most artificially replacements I would assume would be made from soy, and Miso is already soy…" Yomi trailed off, almost confused and stared at her own bowl.
"I've seen that movie, we don't wanna know," Kaname retorted, looking a little queasy. Immediately after she finished speaking, Ranma's head shot up, and he glanced around rapidly. "Hey, I was only-" She was interrupted by the pigtailed martial artist vaulting out of his chair and leaping across the court, bolting up one of the ramps. "Huh… didn't think his stomach was that weak."
"Where the hell is that kid going?" Garrus asked incredulously before deciding that he really couldn't give chase with the others still here.
HR.
He swung smoothly into the scaffolding above the corridor he'd been running down, and then rolled to the side as something flew through the space he'd previously been occupying. Glancing back, he saw some sort of sedative dart stuck into the grating. Well, at least they weren't using live ammo.
Dashing along the pipework and weaving between scaffolds, he realized that the chi signature of the invisible person he was following was beginning to move far more erratically. Evidently, they'd figured out he could track them even when they were invisible. He winced as they seemed to start moving away from him very quickly. The downside to the ability to track someone through their chi was that it didn't have a very long range, required a lot of concentration, and he wasn't really that good at it. Fortunately that didn't matter as much when you'd been tracking it for several hours as it stalked you.
Bursting out of the cluster of wires, through a badly repaired wall panel, he found himself standing over a huge drop, dozens of hovering vehicles racing by below him. "This place is way too freakin' big," he muttered, leaping out into thin air, and bouncing off of the hood of the closest car. Whoever he was pursuing had been clever to try and lose him this way, but unless they could jump like he could, they'd also trapped themselves.
Bouncing from vehicle to vehicle, he slowly began closing distance, ignoring the protesting horn blasts from some of the ones he leapt off of. With one final leap, he opened his arms in a wide bearhug, and winced as a very live mass accelerator round tore through one arm. Gritting his teeth, he barreled into an invisible figure, crushing them against his chest as he leapt off of his current vehicle and straight towards the ground. "Drop all your weapons, or you hit first," yelled over the sound of the shrieking wind.
The response was both predictable, and strangely familiar. "You psychotic, suicidal son of a-" The weight he was carrying became lighter as something fell off to one side, shimmering into a compact machine pistol a moment later.
"Okay, that works," he nodded, shifting their positions so that he was holding the still invisible, humanoid figure in his arms. "Might wanna hold on, grip's not so great since someone shot me in the arm."
"What the fuck is wrong with you?!" The outraged voice sounded female, Ranma noted, which was about par for the course of his life. He ignored it, hitting the ground with the accompaniment of panicked screaming, before bouncing to a stop. As he straightened, he noticed a massive, four-legged alien staring at him, before blinking slowly and turning to walk away.
"Oi, you got shot right? You okay?" It suddenly dawned on him that he had done all of this while still broadcasting to Labrys when he heard her concerned voice coming from his omni-tool.
Ranma grunted, and then realized that he wasn't carrying a canister of Medi-gel. Looking down at his arm, apparently through the still cloaked figure he was holding in a bridal carry, he checked that it wasn't bleeding that badly. Then he realized that he had no idea what he was going to do now. Sure, he had her captured, and one hand was clamped around her wrist so that she couldn't get away, but he was sort of stuck. "Labrys, can you contact Garrus and ask him to get down to…" He looked around, confused. "Wherever the hell I am?"
"Oh, that's real helpful," Labrys replied.
"I have extrapolated the coordinates from Mr. Saotome's video feed," EDI's voice came through. "Garrus will be there within five minutes. Spectre Alenko in 15."
"Wait, video feed? Are you live-streaming video?" The cloaked figure demanded indignantly.
"You ain't in a position to be asking questions," Ranma growled.
HR.
"This is very uncomfortable, you know," a strained voice came from the nothingness that Ranma was holding, the pigtailed boy seemingly squatting with an invisible arm in one hand. "It's hard to breathe."
"You've been complaining for five minutes, you can breathe," the martial artist countered, before he spotted a familiar set of blue armor, Garrus emerging from one of the ramps onto a higher floor. The Turian's eyepiece seemed to blink rapidly as he slowly looked Ranma over.
"So you weren't just being paranoid," He mumbled, raising the arm with his omnitool on it. "Kid, jump clear on 3."
"Wait, no, don't!"
"3!" Ranma let go of the arm he was holding and vaulted into the air as a bolt of electricity lashed out at his former position, outlining a humanoid figure in a sparking corona before a black-clad woman fell forward onto the ground with a groan.
"Do you have any idea how much that stings?!" She complained, pulling a hood as far forward as she could to try and conceal her face.
"More or less than being shot in the arm?" Ranma returned, gesturing at the torn off section of his shirt that was acting as a crude bandage.
"Just slap some Medigel on it!" The woman snapped. "You just fried a hundred and thirty thousand credits worth of gear!"
"Is that a lot?" Ranma asked, tilting his head and effecting as clueless an expression as possible.
"Kid, normally I'd say stop taunting the suspect…" Garrus trailed off. "But, if she's gonna keep whining instead of explaining why she's been stalking us for…How long have you been paranoid?"
"I wasn't paranoid," Ranma objected. "And she's been lurking since we got off the ship two days ago."
"You aren't C-sec, you can't hold me here!" The woman yelled. "Let me go!"
"I'm not C-Sec now," Garrus countered. "I asked Bailey to go on a long coffee break before I got down here."
"Okay…Fine, but where did you get Zenigata over there from?"
Ranma tilted his head. "Huh, never been compared to him before,"
"You gotta ignore the distractions, kid," Garrus rebuked. "We're still waiting for an explanation."
"I was contacted by a woman named Miranda Lawson," She started. "She wanted to recruit me for some sort of mission against a group called the Collectors, in exchange for assistance on a time-critical mission.
Ranma and Garrus exchanged a look, but Garrus gestured for the woman to go on when she paused. "That ship you arrived on was the one she was supposed to be on, but when it arrived, none of the people she mentioned were onboard. I was trying to figure out what was going on."
"I think Kaidan's going to have to make the call on this one," Garrus said reluctantly. "Pretty sure we killed your contact, so I'd say you're…I think SOL is the human expression."
"You've really got a way with words, don'tcha?" Labrys commented.
"Are you still live-streaming this?!" The hooded woman's yell of outrage was even louder than the previous one.
"What's wrong with streaming this?" Ranma asked.
"As a well known Phantom thief, being caught on camera kind of ruins my image, you know?"
"Wow, you were serious with that Zenigata reference…" Ranma deadpanned.
HR.
"So, you want my help," Kaidan started slowly. "But you won't tell me what you want to steal, or why it's important, until I agree." The dark haired man leaned against the corrugated metal wall of a storage container, across from Garrus, as the currently not invisible stalker sat on a crate between them, sheltered from the view of passing vehicles above them.
"Well, I originally wanted to deal with Ms. Lawson, but it looks like I'm not getting anything I want today," She returned with a roll of her eyes.
"Do you have any idea how vague and untrustworthy that is?" The Spectre asked, shaking his head slowly.
"Well, I have heard of Hock," Garrus offered. "Arms half the two-bit pirates in the local region, has a habit of collection. Wouldn't surprise me if he's stolen something valuable."
"So if she knows where he is and what he's got, tell C-sec or the alliance," Kaidan shot back. "Why would her first recourse be Cerberus?"
"Hey, who said they're my first recourse?" The woman snapped. "I've been trying to do something about this for a while, but the Alliance or C-sec…" She shook her head. "That'd end badly."
"For reasons you won't tell me about," Kaidan's eyebrow raised. "See the problem here?"
"Yeah, Yeah, it's one big circlejerk of no explanations." The hooded thief stated. "If we leave this thing in Hock's hands, it's probably going to cause a lot of deaths."
Garrus snorted. "I have to give humans credit for descriptive idioms," He began, "But seems to me we're stuck here." He glanced at Kaidan. "Unfortunately other than shooting at Saotome she's done nothing that would let C-sec hold her or do worse than charging a bunch of fines. And Saotome seems to think that being shot isn't something to press charges over."
"Speaking of, can I ask him for his help instead? Look, you being a Spectre is nice and all, but let's be real. You haven't quite left the Alliance way of thinking yet."
Kaidan's eyes narrowed, her taunt obviously striking a bit of a nerve. "So we can't even get her on firing a gun into traffic?"
Garrus shrugged. "That'd be one of the fines. Wait, no, after some of the Krogan scuffles from back in the day, those fines have been waived if you didn't hit anything important."
Kaidan grimaced, and tapped at his omni-tool, the restraints around the woman's wrists fell away, allowing her to stand. "We're not planning to help you," He said, bluntly. "At least not without more information."
"Your loss," Kasumi said, shaking out her hands. "With what I heard you had to do, I thought you could use all of the help you could get. Not a lot of people will sign on for a suicide mission."
"Suicide mission?!" Kaidan asked incredulously. "What do you mean by-" He was interrupted by the woman being covered in a slightly statickey cloaking effect, before it stabilized and she disappeared completely.
"She was repairing that while sitting there restrained," Garrus muttered, reluctantly impressed.
Kaidan nodded absently. "I think I need to go talk to Joker and the A.I, now."
Garrus was about to make a comment when his omni-tool chirped, and a window opened on his eyepiece. "Urg…" He mumbled. "I just got a message from Chidori asking when I'll be back. Apparently she's tired of… herding cats? And two dogs?"
HR.
"This is…" Kaidan mumbled, as he gazed at the video playing on loop, ten seconds of debris, static and energy discharge as a Cerberus probe spiraled into a debris field, exploding when a spherical ship with a glowing port in the center shot it with a beam of plasma. The Omega-4 relay, something he hadn't even heard of before today, and apparently, the source of the collectors. "And you were going to tell me this when?" He asked, looking away from the screen and over to Joker.
The pilot shrugged. "Probably when we stopped running from crisis to crisis?" He offered. "We've still got no idea how to get in there without being blown to bits, unless you trust my piloting that much." He gave Kaidan a very serious look. "I don't trust my piloting that much, and I hucked a Mako through a hole that I'm still convinced was too small for it."
"Have we run it by Mordin yet?" Kaidan asked.
"He says he has no idea," Joker turned his chair around to face his old friend. "Honestly, before we ended our relationship with Cerberus with lots of shooting and shouting, we were kind of hoping they would figure it out."
"Our best bet would probably be to try and hit that ship that's been attacking colonies," Kaidan said slowly, before Joker shook his head.
"With just this ship? I… don't know, maybe we could do it?" Joker moved his hand back and forth. "Might want to ask Garrus about the thing's weapons."
"Data on the Collector vessel's capabilities is limited, however it would likely severely damage this ship in a direct confrontation, and would be capable of destroying the SR-1 outright," EDI contributed.
"Hey now, don't talk about my baby like that!" Joker cut in defensively. As his console beeped at him, his expression became hard to read. "Well, I… guess this is instant karma," He says, glancing over at EDI's hologram. "The Alliance Intelligence techs are here."
"Notify the engineers to meet them at Medbay. Is Labrys hidden somewhere?" Kaidan stated, before rubbing his temples. The stresses keep piling up.
"I will inform her to proceed to the cargo deck," The A.I. announced, her tone very flat.
HR.
Ranma grumbled to himself as he stretched, luxuriating in the fact that, not only was he in a comfortable bed rather than a bedroll, but he'd generally been allowed to sleep in as long as he wanted, and was gleefully exercising that ability without a panda to punish him for it. After a few moments of staring at the ceiling of the small, two person dorm room he shared with another of the refugees, he reluctantly rolled out of bed, and blinked. "Scrya?" He asked, slowly, looking at the younger boy, who was leaning over the same desk where he'd been staring at multiple holographic screens when Ranma had gone to sleep. Glancing over at the other bed, he realized that it was undisturbed.
"Scrya?" He repeated, having gotten no answer, rising smoothly to his feet and stepping up behind the other. "Scrya!" He smacked his hands together, hard, just next to the blond's ear.
"What?!" The response was harsh, as Yuuno snapped and spun to face him, bags under his bloodshot eyes.
"Have you even moved since last night?" Ranma asked, a little nervous at the intense look he was getting. The more he thought about it, he was sure he had found Yuuno the previous morning like that as well. "Wait, I've got a better question. When was the last time you slept?"
"Uhhhh…how many days have we been in the dorms?" The blond asked, desperately hiding his yawn.
Ranma shook his head. "No… you're going to bed." Yuuno was about to open his mouth in obvious protest, before Ranma's hand blurred, striking the younger boy on the back of the neck, and he caught him gently, carrying him over to the bed.
There was a knock at the door a few moments later, followed by it opening. "Hey, Saotome-san," Keitaro asked, standing in the doorway. "You finished your forms yet? I was going to get them all together and walk them to the ship."
"They've got those…" Ranma snapped his fingers, trying to remember, "The computer things, right? Can't you just send 'em through the… network?"
Keitaro shrugged. "I'm really just looking for an excuse to get Naru out before Chidori throttles her. Or before Naru throttles Chidori. It could go either way to be honest. Though, if I was a betting man…"
Ranma scratched the back of his head, looking at the datapad on the other desk in the room. "I'm…not done with mine yet. I'll work on it while I make sure this kid sleeps. He's been awake for probably the past three days."
"...Alright. I'll grab you something then." Ranma stared at the doorway for a few moments after the other man left, trying to put off having to go back to screwing with a tiny computer right after waking up. He sighed before grabbing the datapad off the table, and tapped his way through the display to the form he had to read and fill out.
"So what the hell's a 'maiden name' anyway?"
HR.
"Ah, coffee, thank you", Kaidan said as Joker entered the XO's cabin, carrying two cups.
"How much paperwork have they tried to bury you in, anyway?" The pilot asked, looking his friend's tired expression over.
"More than Shepard had to do, I'm pretty sure," the spectre grumbled.
"Yeah, that's what XO Presley was for," Joker raised his hands rapidly. "Not it, by the way."
Kaidan chuckled. "Wasn't even considering it. I'd prefer you pay attention while flying the ship." He tapped a key on the keyboard before him before turning in his chair. "Turns out figuring out what crew we're going to need to requisition from the Alliance is… complicated. And why some of this crew is even here, for that matter. Did you know we had a professional psychologist onboard?"
"Chambers?" Joker nodded. "Yeah, she's… alright, I guess?" He trailed off a bit. "Kinda pushy though."
"Yeah, well, I don't think we're going to be out in space long enough to need onboard psychological services," Kaidan said evenly, "Plus some of her stuff was kind of fishy so I dismissed her earlier."
"Ouch, downsizing already?" Joker asked, sucking air through his teeth. "Good thing I'm essential." He paused for a moment, his eyes seeming to flick around the room before he continued. "So, have you thought about the rest of the crew? Takasu and the others?"
"You keep asking the hard questions," Kaidan grumbled. "Well, not Takasu, he's easy. Non-affiliated human wanting a job as a chef, no criminal record, only oddity is keeping his friend too, but she'll figure out a way to make herself useful. I think sitting still drives her insane." He turned back to his keyboard and tapped a few buttons. "The problems are all of the others. Chidori and Scrya are pretty straight forward, though. They need protection, and we can offer it." He glanced over to the window leading out to the mess and the sickbay across from the XO's office. "It's Saotome and… the other one, that are the real problem."
"Saotome," Joker smirked. "You know, I've been thinking about that."
"Oh, this is going to be good," Kaidan grumbled.
"Well, it's just," Joker started. "If you think about the situations he pulled some of his crazier shit in… has he done anything we didn't let Wrex get away with? I mean, he was pointing a gun at Shepard's chest at one point with you ready to shoot him… And he hasn't threatened to eat anyone, has he?"
"I… you have a point," Kaidan admitted, defeated.
"Hey, don't feel too bad," Joker interrupted his slide into resigned depression. "The post of chief and lead cat herder comes with a few perks. That's part of why I came down here, actually. I wanted to know when you wanted my stuff out of the captain's quarters. Got some time since the ship's sitting in dock."
Kaidan winced. "No thanks." He gestured around the XO's office, and to the door in the back that lead to a small bedroom. "This place is already a bit much. I've seen that room, it's got a freaking fish tank in the wall."
"Yeah, I kept having this passing thought about the gravity failing and drowning in a spaceship." Joker shuddered. "Not natural."
"Why does it even have that?" The Spectre asked.
"The previous, non-pirate captain was…a piece of work, let me tell you." The smaller man grimaced. "I swear I've never served with such a tight-assed perfectionist, including during flight school. If she wanted a fish tank, she'd have gotten a fish tank."
Kaidan nodded. "Sort of a waste of resources, I'll see if we can get it converted into a couple of regular quarters. Our new crew members probably aren't too used to sleeping pods."
"Damn," Joker said, shaking his head. "I was going to make fun of you for throwing away such a fancy room, but then you had to get logical about it." He paused for a moment, almost as if he were waiting for something, before grunting in annoyance. "I keep expecting that damned A.I. to butt in with a smart-assed comment."
Kaidan raised an eyebrow, and then as the pilot shifted a little, shook his head. "The core is disconnected from the rest of the system for the next few days," He gestured towards the sickbay. "Fortunately, the preliminary report suggests the shackles are airtight. You'd need physical interaction to release it from its restrictions, and it's not an easy procedure to do accidentally."
"Yeah, well, that's… good," Joker said, a bit flatly. There was an awkward silence for a few moments, before he shifted on his feet, gave Kaidan a half-assed salute, and left.
The Spectre tilted his head, confused. "Was that what he was here for?"
HR.
"Chrono must never hear about this," Yuuno Scrya mumbled to himself as he tried to ignore the slight stabs of pain from muscles that had been kept in one position for far too long. He hadn't gone on a research binge like that since he'd first entered the Infinity Library outside of a crisis situation, and they had to send in a team of combat mages to get him. And then Arf. And then Fate. And when none of them could get through the barrier, they brought in Nanoha.
The loss of books that day was a travesty, but he could only really blame himself. Though, he half expected that the library might just fix itself, and restore the books. He rubbed the back of his neck to try and massage the muscles.
"What was that?" His pigtailed roommate walked through the doorway, carrying a couple of plastic glasses. "Got your water."
"Nothing important," The archaeologist dismissed, reaching for a glass. "Just thinking of an old… friend?"
Ranma's face darkened. "Yeah, a lot of that going around," He began. "If there was a crazy birdman trying to kill you, would he throw a rock at it?"
Yuuno paused, trying to process what was just said to him. "You've had a very strange life. But…probably?"
"Then I'd say he was a friend," Ranma said firmly. "You hungry? You've been out for about half a day." The younger boy yawned, covering his mouth with his free hand.
"Yeah, probably should." Yuuno moved to get up, but couldn't bring himself to stand up.
"Nah, I've got it," The martial artist raised a hand. "Stayin' up that long isn't good for your… anything. Take it slow."
"Thanks," The blond boy said, a bit embarrassed, as his roommate left again and he sipped his water. He couldn't help but think about what Ranma had said, about the birdman. Then again, he had known that Nanoha's father was some sort of retired demon hunter even when he was living as her ferret, so he was aware that Non-administrated world #97 was… strange, but-
There was a high-pitched crackling sound from near the window, followed by the clinkling of a chain, and several impacts in rapid succession. It took the young mage a moment to realize what the noise was, and he was still trying to figure it out, blinking as he turned to the window to see a criss-crossing lattice of chain focused on… nothing? No, even as he watched the concealment spell dropped, and a woman in a set of futuristic armor and a hood was revealed in the bind.
"Yuuno, you okay? I heard…" Ranma's voice trailed off as he suddenly appeared in the doorway, open loaf of bread in one hand and butter knife in the other. "You again?" He asked, irritably.
"You know this person?" Yuuno asked, unconcerned with the intruder.
Ranma nodded. "Meet Lupin IV," He deadpanned. "Do I want to know how long you had the window trapped?"
"Oh yeah, I trapped most of the windows when you started acting incredibly paranoid and going on constant patrols." The blond said simply. "Chidori's got three extra ones just to be safe."
"Don't tell Sousuke, he might give you a hug or something," Ranma responded, while their 'guest' looked between them, somehow managing to give off a sense of irritation even with her face shrouded in shadow.
"Damn it, Zenigata…" The figure snapped. "If half my targets were as paranoid as you…"
"Someone is out to get me," Ranma pointed out. "What are you doing here? I thought the Spectre told you to get lost."
"He did," She agreed. "But last I checked you don't work for him. Nothing says I can't approach you directly." She squirmed in her chains. "Look, you wanna let me down?"
Ranma shrugged. "Not my trap. You snuck into his room too," He nodded at Yuuno. "I'm pretty sure she's harmless. She only shot at me when I really pissed her off."
"She can explain from there then. It's not like it's gonna kill her." The mage waved his hand dismissively at the idea.
"I… just shouldn't have tried this week," The hooded woman groaned. "Fine, cards on the table because I'm desperate here," she began. "My last alternate contact just fell through. So, I'm a phantom thief. I steal things, but… try not to cause too much trouble, yeah?" She tried to make some sort of gesture but the chains just jingled. "So I broke into a weapons dealer's facility, with my partner Keiji. Unfortunately while I was busy somewhere else, Keiji was found and killed by Donovan Hock, the weapons dealer, and Hock took his graybox."
"And that is?" Ranma asked, clearly unfamiliar with the term.
"It's… a device that records memories, among other things," the woman explained. "The problem, other than that the bastard killed my partner," She spat this last, "Is that Keiji used to work for the Alliance Intelligence Agency. I hope you understand why a weapons dealer getting access to those memories would be a bad thing?"
"I… don't get it," Ranma said, puzzled.
"It means that he probably had access to a lot of the dirty little secrets of a major government," Yuuno translated. "None of them have a perfectly clean record and there's probably stuff in there that could start a war."
The woman nodded. "Keiji likely knew that," She started. "He sent me a message on a dead man switch demanding that I make sure to retrieve it"
"And you want my help because…?" Ranma asked, confused.
"You leapt out over a thirty story gap that was exposed to space and leapt across six hovercars in heavy traffic to track me down," the woman said matter-of-factly. "I'm a tech expert, getting in, by itself, won't be hard for me, but I need backup and a distraction, and you're the best bet I've got right now."
"And you didn't tell all this to the Spectre?"
"Because he's a Spectre, sure, but he's Humanity's Spectre," She explained. "And he wouldn't accept helping without the full explanation, which I don't actually have all of." After a moment, she clarified. "Most Spectres are on somebody's leash, and I don't want the Alliance directly involved in this. I'm not too fond of them to start with but if we fail and this is traced back to them…"
Yuuno winced. "Point taken."
"I'll… take his word for it," Ranma gestured at the blond.
"I'm going with you." As Yuuno spoke, the chains faded away, the hooded woman dropping unceremoniously onto the bedroom floor.
"I haven't agreed yet." The martial artist tried objecting only to be called out a moment later.
"The fact that you used 'yet' suggests that you are." The mage countered.
"You… are a terrible haggler, aren't you, kid?" Ranma asked irritably.
"You bring up a good point." Yuuno said, contemplating. "What are we going to get in return if we do this? It's not like Spectre Alenko will allow her to join us after."
The woman groaned. "I'm guessing an I.O.U from a thief isn't going to cut it?" She asked, as she pulled herself into a sitting position. "Unfortunately I've expended most of my resources getting this far, especially with all of the extra legwork I had to do." She paused for a moment, and then an omnitool phased into existence on her wrist. She tapped at it for several seconds, the readout speeding by too quickly for either of the others to spot. A short while later, there was a flash of light and a quiet hissing sound, a small datachip sliding out of the holographic gauntlet and falling to the carpeted floor with a clatter. "The schematics and technical specs of the suit I use," She began, and then raised a hand. "So heavily encrypted it'd take you months to crack with the help of a major intelligence agency. You get the code when we're done."
"That's… uh… I just wanted to hear your plan first," Ranma said, before scooping the chip up. "But I'll take this. No idea what it'll be useful for, but I'll take it."
"...Ranma, aren't you something of a stealth specialist?" Yuuno asked. "I've read about what you guys did with Garrus on Omega."
Ranma blinked. "Somebody wrote a report on that?"
Yuuno nodded. "Apparently Garrus is a stickler for after combat procedures."
"Okay, so I haven't read this report, what…" The woman's eyes crossed as the stealth specialist in question disappeared from awareness. Yuuno blinked rapidly, covertly checking the search spell he had floating up in a corner of the room. "Where did he go?" She demanded, before reaching out with one hand and trying to brush it through the space Ranma had occupied until a moment earlier.
"Yeah, that's… Can you stop with the invisibility, you're giving me a headache."
Ranma faded back into visibility a few feet away, gesturing. "Apparently it doesn't work on electronics or synthetics," He explained.
"Okay… so that's…" The woman shook her head, and then extended a hand. "This… might actually work even with my original plan shot to hell," She said, slowly. "Kasumi Goto, pleasure working with you, Zenigata…or should we change that?"
"You could just go with Ranma?" The pigtailed boy offered.
"Nah," She shook her head. "In that case I'm sticking with Zenigata."
Ranma snorted. "Fine with me, Lupin, would feel kinda strange callin' you Kasumi anyway."
"I feel like this is a cultural reference I'm not aware of." Yuuno complained.
HR.
"What do you mean, they're gone?" Garrus Vakarian, Keitaro reflected, was infinitely scarier while calm than anyone he'd ever had scream at him, with the possible exception of Aunt Haruka.
"I-I went back to see if Ranma'd finished filling out his forms, and the room was empty," He stammered. "I checked the logs at the door and neither of them show as having left." He winced, before holding something up to the video pickup on the communications terminal he was using. "Saotome-san left this note."
Garrus blinked, then tapped at his omni-tool on the other end of the line, and squinted. "
"His handwriting's giving the translator fits."
"It says 'Solving Some Problems,'" Kitaro provided. "But he never mentioned any to-" He was cut off by the Turian raising one three-fingered hand.
"I… have my suspicions," he said in a pained tone. "Just… don't worry about it, and if either of them show up again make it very clear that I want to talk to them immediately."
"You know what they were doing?" The former, and now current, dorm manager asked.
Garrus nodded. "I have an idea. Just don't worry about it, it's not your fault, and there's nothing wrong with the authorization system. Nothing we can fix, anyway." He paused, something in his expression, though it was hard to tell what, conveying a slight relaxation of tension. "Let me know if you run into any more problems, and remember, have them call me as soon as they show back up even if it means chucking a datapad at them."
A moment later, he spoke again in defeated tone. "I swear, this kid is gonna be the death of me."
"Sir, should I hang up?"
"For fu-" The screen went blank.
HR.
"I don't mean to doubt you, and my omni-tool's getting some really strange readings here, but this magic looks an awful lot like technology," Kasumi observed, as she crouched on a rooftop several blocks away from their target, observing as a floating holographic model of Hock's villa formed slowly, little indicators popping up to show guard patrols and detected surveillance equipment.
"To a point, magic and technology exist to make life easier, wouldn't you expect them both to advance in the same ways?" Yuuno asked, gesturing with one hand as if guiding the little search drone he was manipulating from a distance.
"I've been pretty much thinking of all of it as magic and calling it a day," Ranma admitted. "It's kinda sad, over a hundred years in the future and they're still using the same kinds of guard patrols." He gestured at a few points on the map. "Guessing we could get past them here, here or here."
"Wow Zeni, really acting like a thief already." Kasumi stated, somewhat mockingly. "...but the first two are no-gos, there's enough electronic surveillance to count your nose hairs. As for the third… That only works if you can jump 30 feet without using a mass effect field."
"So it'll work, then." Yuuno said. The woman looked at the two men incredulously.
Ranma snorted. "Wait, you wanna be Lupin and you don't got a grappling hook?"
Kasumi just glared.
HR.
Ryoga stretched, rubbing at the side of his neck. He'd been on the Cerberus station for a while now, and he had to privately admit that he was getting a little anxious. It was actually kind of strange to see the same sights day after day. "Okay," he said as he looked around the large, white paneled gymnasium. Looking to the floor, he could almost see his own reflection in the shiny black surface. "So who am I fighting?" The Cerberus scientists had asked to get a look at his abilities in combat, and he'd agreed as much because he was getting sort of stir crazy as anything else. Now, there were several dozen station personnel standing at the edges of the room, watching intently, including that redhead he'd met a few days before sitting against the wall.
As if in answer to his question, a door across the room slid open, and a tall, dark haired man stepped in, something about his gait looking a bit off. "Is… is he wearing armor?" The lost boy asked, puzzled.
"A full combat hardsuit, yes," One of the scientists said from the edge of the room. "Given your strength, a fight against an unarmored human would be both dangerous and uninformative." The man across from Ryoga frowned in response to that, a familiar looking arrogant look crossing his face.
"I think you're over-playing this guy just a bit," He said, bluntly, causing Ryoga to bristle.
The lost boy's only response was falling into stance. There was an awkward silence, before one of the scientists yelled "Begin!" The Cerberus soldier made the first move, stepping forward and lashing out with a punch, which Ryoga caught and deflected off of one arm, before retaliating with a straight punch that smashed into a blue, rippling distortion a half inch from the armor's surface. His opponent jumped away, eyes slightly wide, as a quiet beeping sound emanated from his armor.
The two moved around each other for the next few moments, the taller man darting in and landing a few punches that Ryoga barely felt, darting out again just as quickly, before he could land a retaliatory strike. He frowned darkly, noting that this fight was starting to seem very familiar, before reaching up and tearing a few bandannas from his forehead, tossing them through the air in a whirling cloud, which… bounced off of the 'Mass Effect' field without any obvious effect. His opponent gave him a very condescending smirk, before crouching and launching himself forward. The next exchange of blows went slightly differently, as Ryoga predicted the other man's movements, three rapid hammer blows smashing into the shield with rippling blue impacts.
When the other man's legs shifted, preparing to leap away, the lost boy lashed out with one hand, clamping it around the other's forearm before ripping a bandanna from his forehead with the other, wrapping it around both wrists and channeling chi into it to harden it.
There was a moment of incredulous silence as the Cerberus operative gazed down at the iron-cloth binding, vaulting back a short distance before his arm was flung out forward by the binding and he came to a jarring halt. Ryoga gave a fanged grin, roaring as he jerked one arm backwards and the other forward, a heavy blow impacting his opponent's barrier as he came flying the other way. There was a crackling, fizzing sound and the field collapsed.
The lost boy glanced around, gratified at the stunned looks he was getting from several of the spectators, before asking, "So, we done?"
He was answered by the Cerberus operative's eyes narrowing, his free hand reaching over his shoulder and drawing a gently curved blade from his back. Ryoga reacted quickly as the other swung, pulling back their linked hands upward to keep the bandannas out of the most likely arc of the blade. His eyes widened when he realized that his estimate was off, but it was too late to do anything about it as a blow that had been aimed to cut off his hand instead cut the bandanna and bit deeply into the meat of his forearm, separating a chunk of flesh from the limb.
Ryoga sucked air through his teeth, backing off and raising his unwounded arm to clamp a hand around the wound. "Okay," He said, a slight strain tinging his voice. He took another quick glance at the spectators. Shepard had moved a few feet into the gymnasium, her expression irritated. He had thought he heard her voice yelling something a moment ago but hadn't quite caught it, though all of the scientists in the observation area just seemed to be taking notes rapidly. "Are we done now?"
Rapid footsteps from in front of him answered the question in the negative once again, his opponent raising his now bloodied blade in both hands. Ryoga narrowed his eyes, charging to meet the other's advance, one arm swinging out in as quick a wide arc as he could manage to knock the blade aside before he barrelled into its wielder at full force. He didn't stop moving until the two of them slammed into one of the gymnasium's walls with a bone-jarring impact and the flash of barriers failing once more. Stepping backward as the sword fell to the ground, shortly followed by its unconscious wielder. He turned slowly, glaring at the observation area. "We're done."
"Ah..Yes, of course." One of the men in the observation area stated flatly. "If you need medical attention, you know where the med bay is."
"Uh… right," The lost boy glanced back at his former opponent. "Should I drag this guy there? He's probably got broken ribs."
"Oh, thank you for offering. We have a lot of data to collate." The scientist stated dismissively.
Ryoga grunted, shaking his head before tearing several bandannas off of his forehead, tying them into a makeshift bandage around his still bleeding arm, and slinging the armored figure over his shoulder. He was a little startled when a female voice came from behind him. "You know, if it were me, I'd have dragged him by the leg."
Ryoga shrugged, jostling the figure slightly and getting a slight groan. "That would actually be a bit more trouble, the balance would be off."
Shepard snorted. "You going to be able to make it to the med bay before you bleed out, or do you want me to take you there?"
"Why would I need…nevermind. Lead the way."
HR.
The Cerberus operative groaned as he lay in the medical bed, stripped of his armor and acutely aware of the three cracked ribs he was suffering from, along with a massive headache, fortunately not a severe concussion, from being rammed into a wall by some sort of freakish mutant that could punch through kinetic barriers with bare hands. A small part of his mind wondered whose science project the thing was so he could arrange an accident and keep it from continuing. Fortunately, due to modern medical science, he would be able to leave the station and start his next mission within the day, though he was still behind schedule, as the 'routine test' was only supposed to take half an hour at most.
He was jarred from his thoughts as a beeping sound emanated from a screen on the wall at the end of his bed, and a communication opened without his input to reveal the unamused face of the Illusive man, cold, cybernetic eyes studying him dispassionately. "Operative Leng, What part of non-destructive testing did you not understand?"
END.