As Everything Burns
Author's Note: I hate this. I know. :3
~ Rivana Rita
Her heart is racing, rushing in her montrals and fast enough her body feels warm.
Obi-Wan looks awful, even over the hologram. They're trying to rendezvous in space in the hopes the zombies haven't taken enough ships to get off-world yet. Her only consolation is that zombies – allegedly – have lost most of their conscious minds. Can't say what it'll mean for the lives of the few remaining people on Coruscant.
She doesn't know what it means for Rafa and Trace.
"You're sure he's gone?" she asks. She felt something changing, a million miles across the galaxy, felt their bond dim and change, but that's not something she... was ever able to understand until know.
She still doesn't believe it.
Obi-Wan sighs heavily. "I saw him go down," he answers, "It's been days, and he hasn't come back."
"The general wouldn't go down easy," Rex objects quietly.
No, he wouldn't, but there's no way it could have been easy. That's what Ahsoka can't let go of the most – he was down there, alone, and there are so many.
Coruscant is gone.
The Jedi are gone.
The Republic is gone.
Everything they fought for, everyone they lost, was for nothing.
"I can't give up searching until I know what happened," Ahsoka argues, "What if he's still out there? What if he needs us? He could be trapped down there."
"He asked that we tell you not to return," Obi-Wan replies, "That you be safe."
"Nowhere in the galaxy is safe," she objects, "Not anymore. I know you don't want to give up on him."
"I don't," he agrees, "But there is little chance..."
The transmission glitches, and Ahsoka bites her lip. "We can talk when we're in person."
It cuts off, and she looks half helplessly at Rex, mind still screaming in frantic denial.
She's not giving up on him.
Anakin would never do that to her.
**w**
None of the boys are taking it well.
Anakin had gone into the underworld to help evacuate a good number of the surviving clones – their armor gives them a layer of protection civilians didn't have – and never came back. None of them can handle the high chances that their general died for them.
Rex knows he isn't. He always knew there'd be a time someday, a world where he had to fight without Anakin beside him, but he always thought it would be farther into the future. Not so soon. Not now. It never made sense for Anakin to die before them – he's so strong, so determined and capable. He can do anything, or at least so many of the clones believed he could.
He doesn't want to accept it, either, but his general was trying to help him and his brothers. Rex will respect that, even if he'll never be able to accept or let it go. His mission is to evacuate the surviving clones they located while General Kenobi and the commander search for their general, so that's what he'll do.
**w**
Obi-Wan's had days to process it, but he still can't believe it.
Anakin can't be gone, but Obi-Wan saw him go, and there's no reason he would've been gone this long willingly. He could be trapped, but Obi-Wan felt it when their bond faded over. He can't accept his padawan is dead, but denying the truth will not change it.
Ahsoka is the same as he remembers when they finally reunite, though their reunion is interrupted when they're contacted by another escaping ship they offer to board the clones' cruiser.
Senator Amidala.
She looks a little thinner when he sees her, but there's another bright presence aboard the ship Obi-Wan doesn't recognize. It feels... young. On second thought there are two of them.
"Ahsoka," she breathes, freezing when she sees them.
"Padme?" Ahsoka brightens despite her disheveled exhaustion, sprinting forward to hug her tightly.
"It's so good to see you both safe," Senator Amidala tells them, "Have you heard from Anakin?"
Obi-Wan tries very, very hard not to think about the suspiciously bright, Anakin-like presences. "No," he answers bluntly, "We are still searching, but it is unlikely. He's made it this long." He's not going to lie to her about that, even if he knows it must be difficult to hear.
"Don't say that," Padme argues, shaking her head. "He can't be gone." He feels her flare of betrayed hurt, of exhausted desperation. He has wondered many times about her and Anakin, and he can't well imagine what it would be like for her to hear her husband is probably lost forever, not whit's Anakin, not when they have a child.
(Excuse me, Anakin, but what were you intending to do about that, precisely?)
"I know," Ahsoka sighs. "We're going to check out Coruscant again, just to... see if there's anything we can find."
"Thank you," Padme tells her, a sheen of tears in her eyes. "Just be careful."
**w**
"This is a nightmare," Ahsoka declares flatly as she looks out the window of their shuttle. Coruscant is half wrecked and burning. It looks awful – she can't even imagine how this used to be her home.
Rafa and Trace were here. Did the Silver Angel make it off-world before the worst of the zombie attack struck? Rafa would have wanted to leave right away. She can only hope.
There are no speeders flying anymore, and it looks like half the buildings were toppled. The Temple is burning still, a fire days old.
She doesn't know what Dooku did, but he never lived to tell the tale.
Neither did Chancellor Palpatine – who is evidently a Force-user.
"Land at the prison," Obi-Wan orders, "Despite the Temple's fortifications, this is somehow our last holdout."
She can't imagine how, but strange things happen all the time. With the zombie Jedi...
Is Barriss still inside? She doesn't want that answered.
Ahsoka lands them on the prison instead, trying not to remember the last time she was here. Thousands – if not millions – of green-gray creatures are milling about, snarling and clawing at the nicely locked doors. Ahsoka fires down at the main doors, leveling it – she tries to think about this the same way she does droids, but in the end, there's nothing they can do for these people. They're already too far gone. Most of them are missing limbs, or at least half of one.
The delay is long enough for them to get down to the ground and inside the doors that the Coruscant Guard – the few who remain – open for them.
Obi-Wan asks about the situation, and for all that Ahsoka is trying to listen, she can't focus. She doesn't even think about anything other than how she feels some foggy presence of Anakin Skywalker drifting closer.
She doesn't want to think about what that means.
Conversations are being thrown back and forth – that they're trying to figure out a way to mass neutralize zombies. They're talking about some kind of gas, but mass-production isn't practical. No one knows if prolonged starvation is enough to kill these things.
It reminds her of the Geonosian worms, but back then, she had Anakin with her to tell her what to do.
He would always be there to help and guide her.
The zombies also shy away from light, apparently, preferring to slink around in the shadows. Light kills death. So does dryness. It gives them a temporary stalling cover, at least, but that's not going to be enough to search the entire planet.
They also really should have come here in the daytime.
Right now, the only protection she has against them are the suits she and Obi-Wan are wearing down to the surface. It's not meant to withstand zombies, but it should offer some layer of protection.
But none of this, really, is helping them get closer to Anakin.
"What do we do now?" Ahsoka inquires, "Where do we go from here? We need to find Anakin and the other survivors."
"All we can do is start searching," Obi-Wan sighs. "We'll have to spread out, though I cannot imagine locating him will be easy."
No, it won't be. Ahsoka knows that, but she won't stop trying, either.
Anakin would never give up on her.
**w**
They don't actually get very far before the zombies jump them. Not that Ahsoka expected anything else. She draws her lightsabers and goes at them, trying her best not to think about how these are – or were – people. She has to fight to survive, and it's really no different than many times in the war. Well, she's not killing them if they're already dead. It's just... gross. Very gross. They just sort of squish, and it's disgusting.
Someone jumps at her with very, very long claws – there's too many, too many creatures, and her and Obi-Wan badly need to fall back.
She ducks backwards, but it's not fast enough to stop the zombie from ripping her helmet off and going for her face.
Ahsoka's back smacks the duracrete and she yelps, shoving at it. Obi-Wan's lightsaber stabs it through the chest, but not before it gets a wickedly deep gash across her face. She's panting, and presses a hand to her bleeding face. The thing just tried to rip her nose off, and considering she can smell the blood, she's fairly certain it failed.
But still. Ow. Rex is going to flip when he sees her.
"Are you alright?" Obi-Wan inquires, pulling her to her feet.
"Yeah," Ahsoka mutters, though really, no, and –
Something prickles in her senses, a bond dulled and twisted.
"Anakin," she breathes, turning around.
But what she sees isn't Anakin. It's not her master who brought her through the war, who raised her. The brother she loved and had... it's not Anakin. It has a vague physical resemblance, definitely, but he's mossing and eye, and his arm, and he's... well, green.
That doesn't stop the ridiculous thought she has of at least his hair is still intact.
Ahsoka makes a panicked, strangled sound, backing away. She doesn't want to fight him. She can't believe there's not a way to get her master back. She can't have come this far only for him to be gone.
He growls, his voice completely unhuman, and charges.
Ahsoka isn't going to fight him. She's not going to hurt him. He's done so much to keep her alive.
And now, she'll never be able to.
**w**
Obi-Wan knew his padawan was likely gone, but seeing it, seeing this is so much worse than he thought. He's always been afraid of losing Anakin, of seeing him die like he did with Qui-Gon, like he was that day on Goenosis when he saw Count Dooku's lightsaber cut off his padawan's arm.
Life is so easily lost. So easily forgotten.
This was Anakin, and now he's gone.
But Obi-Wan doesn't want to fight him. He doesn't know what to do.
More of them are coming, and Ahsoka whirls around to fight them, her green lightsabers slashing. The zombies shy away from the light, but when Obi-Wan raises his lightsaber in the hopes it'll fend off Anakin, it doesn't stop him. He tackles Obi-Wan, and his lightsaber falls from his hand. His back hits the ground, and he grunts, trying to shove feral not-Anakin off.
Because this isn't Anakin. It can't be.
It – his –
His padawan can't be gone forever.
He can't have lost Anakin.
He can feel his padawan still – Anakin's presence twisted and muted, but Obi-Wan still feels his hunger, and the part of him that still craves to care for Anakin is desperate to help him, but he's not going to let himself get eaten.
He's not.
So, in short, Obi-Wan has no idea how it happens.
Not-Anakin's fang-like teeth sink into his right forearm, and Obi-Wan gasps at the violent pain shooting through it, struggling to yank away.
"Master Obi-Wan!" Ahsoka yells, voice high with panic.
His arm is bleeding, but it feels cold.
The loud sound of a speeder catches his attention, and a stun bolt smacks into Anakin, throwing him off.
Apparently, those do work on temporarily slowing zombies. Or at least on Anakin.
His head is spinning, and he really doesn't have time to think about it.
"Are you alright?" One of the clones is here. Rex, Obi-Wan thinks.
"No!" Ahsoka's voice is high. She's on the verge of crying. Maybe she already is. "Obi-Wan was bitten, and I don't know –"
"We better get him back to the cruiser. The general, too. They might've figured something out."
"There's – there's not time." The Force is whispering with danger, and Obi-Wan knows he won't last until they get up to the cruiser. He doesn't want to turn Ahsoka, too. She's all Anakin has left. She's one of the only known Jedi survivors, and might be their only chance at surviving. He can't hurt her.
He doesn't want to hurt anyone. He's a Jedi. They're supposed to be immune to things like this.
"The area's spreading fast," Ahsoka worries, "What – what do we do?" She looks so young and scared. Anakin would know what to say to her, but Obi-Wan is not Anakin. He's not her master.
"There is nothing you can do," Obi-Wan replies. He never thought much about his own death, but he never anticipated it to be by zombies.
"No," Ahsoka protests. She looks on the verge of tears now, "I'm not leaving you to die!"
"I have an idea, but you're not gonna like it," Rex says, "If the area was... removed, do you think it would slow it down?"
He has a point. Obi-Wan has no desire to lose his arm, but it's better than his life.
The padawan looks as squeamish about it that as Obi-Wan himself feels. "I don't think that's a good idea."
"It also might be our only choice," Obi-Wan agrees, albeit very very reluctantly. He doesn't want to turn into a zombie and spend the rest of his existence trying to eat people, either.
**w**
Getting extracted from Coruscant was an entirely different, very long story, but by the time they're finally back on the cruiser, Ahsoka feels dead on her feet. She doesn't want to move or do anything. All she hears from Kix is that General Kenobi is... recovering.
Well, somewhat.
Most of him.
She feels sick.
Ther wasn't a choice, but it reminds her of Geonosis. Of those worms. Barriss had asked the same thing of her, and at least he's not dead, but she still could have done without cutting anyone's arm off, ever, in her whole life.
Anakin is here. They brought him, even if it was dangerous, because none of them had the heart to leave him.
That doesn't change how there's nothing anyone can do for him. He's locked in a cell, snarling and growling at the edge of the ray shield. Ahsoka remembers the times her master used to look at her with blind adoration, a bubbling protectiveness and love that she can't even imagine. Ahsoka has never been able to understand her master's fierce loyalty or caring for her or for anyone else.
Now, all he sees her as is food.
Ahsoka's sitting by his cell, like she has been this entire time, because she can't bring herself to walk away.
She misses Anakin. Her Anakin, the one who would know what to do and would already have figured out a way to stop this nightmare. He could've stopped all of this. He would've found a way to, because her master has always been able to do the impossible.
Ahsoka curls up, leaning against the wall and closing her eyes. She gave up trying not to cry a long time ago.
Even if they can somehow get Anakin back, can heal him, Ahsoka has no idea how he's going to handle this. He hurt Obi-Wan, and probably a lot of other people, even if he couldn't stop it. Ahsoka knows she would handle it badly, that she already is.
She wants to see her master again. To know if he would tell her what she did was fine.
She saved Obi-Wan's life. She did. She also cut his arm off, so...
"Commander." Rex's voice is gentle but grief-stricken when he enters the room, and Ahsoka's gut plummets. Whatever he's about to say, it's not good, and she's scared. She can't handle any more not good right now. "There's... nothing we can do for him. Kix says he thinks he can slow the turn, but there's nothing we can do to reverse it."
"But he stopped it on Obi-Wan," she protests.
"He said it was different, because his body was still alive and able to fight on its own. I'm sorry kid." It hits him as hard as her, she knows, but it doesn't stop the rippling, gnawing fury that bubbles up.
"No," Ahsoka snaps. "I can't give up on him. I won't!" Rex has lost so many of his brothers. Ahsoka understands why he can accept this, but she can't.
"I don't know what else we can do," Rex tells her quietly, "I'm sorry it came to this."
She knows he is. She can feel it, and Anakin was the closest friend he's ever had. He was the best friend of many of their men. Because he would never give up on them. He died for them, and...
"I died once, too. He brought me back."
"The general was always all kinds of crazy. He could do anything."
"I'm going to try. Will you help me?"
"Do you have a plan?"
"Do you need to ask?"
**w**
Mortis looks the same as it did when Ahsoka was last here. The place is empty and void, though transporting Anakin here is something else entirely. Rex helps her get aboard the ship, but the rest of the journey is one she has to walk herself. She's not dragging him along when he doesn't have the Force to protect himself. Besides, Mortis is a nightmare, and Ahsoka isn't risking him when she has no idea what the consequences of bringing him here would be.
She kneels in the middle of the area the Light is concentrated in. The Force is shifting, as if begging to respond to her request.
She needs it. For once in her life, Ahsoka needs it, needs the same power that Anakin held when he brought her back.
"Show me," she begs, fingers digging into the dirt. "Give it to me. Let me try, let me... let me have Anakin back."
The Force whispers, swelling, and when Ahsoka raises her hands, they're glowing. She tries to focus, to center. To let herself be a vessel and channel of raw power. It burns in her veins, whispers through her body and flares outwards. Ahsoka gasps, panting, closing her eyes and trying to focus the Force on her master's body.
Barriss used to be a healer. She would have been good at this, but her friend is gone. She betrayed her, and the Jedi way, and... Ahsoka never heard what happened, but she assumes she was lost somewhere in the apocalypse.
Mortis is a place that transformed her, and she has to believe it can do the same for her master.
**w**
He's... not hungry. The sky is bright and blue above him, and it doesn't hurt his eyes. He aches everywhere, various places and injuries where his body feels aching and raw, but... Anakin's mind feels clearer than it has in days. Was it days? He has no idea.
The last thing he remembers, he was supposed to be going after... the zombies. Right. But he's not on Coruscant anymore, and actually, his face throbs and something looks wrong. It's sort of blurry and he doesn't want to think about it too deeply, but the entire area around his right eye is burning.
A quiet moan slips free, and he turns his head a little. Ahsoka's beside him on her hands and knees. Her head turns towards him, blue eyes bright and wide. "Anakin?" she breathes.
He coughs. "Hey, Snips," he croaks in a voice that feels like it hasn't been used once in over a thousand years. Stars, he's thirsty.
She chokes on a sob, moving to hug him. Anakin raises his hand – why does he only have one hand? – to touch her back and hold her against him. "Skyguy," she chokes, burying her face on his shoulder.
It aches, but he aches and burns everywhere. Anakin closes his eyes, holding her and trying to just feel her warmth. "It's okay," he promises, "We're out of there, aren't we? Actually, what happened?"
She sniffles. "I think I have a lot to catch you up on."
**w**
The star destroyer is the same, anyway. Anakin can say that. He hurts basically everywhere, and for once in his life, thinks he might actually stay a few days in the medbay without giving Kix nightmares. He doesn't remember his time as a zombie. Just... pieces. Flashes. Impressions, really. Mostly, he remembers the pain.
He remembers Obi-Wan. Ahsoka said... he lost his arm.
That she cut it off, technically, and Anakin isn't quite ready to face that. His master had helped him through his own amputation, and he has no idea how to offer Obi-Wan the same. She never said how it happened, not really, but Anakin thinks that there's more to it than his former padawan is letting on.
He won't ask. Ahsoka will come to him when she's ready.
Rex comes into the medbay after Kix finishes looking him over.
His captain hovers in the doorway, lingering and looking him over. "It's good to see you safe, sir," he tells him earnestly.
"Thank you," Anakin replies. He aches everywhere still, but the bacta treatment closed the skin over at any rate. Could be worse. "It's good to see you, too. I wasn't sure if you would've made it off Mandalore."
"We're fine," Rex assures, "We made it off Coruscant, but I don't know about most of the Jedi."
"Ahsoka said most of them are gone." He doesn't know how to start processing everything that happened. "We have to figure out where to go from here." The survival of the galaxy depends on it. Right now, Anakin doesn't even know what they'll do about that. The population has been decimated, and they need to find a way to cut off routes. To locate the zombies and to destroy the already existing ones.
"I'm sorry," Rex adds.
Anakin nods to him wordlessly – he knows, and he appreciates it, though he's too numb to the loss to think about it. "Is Kamino safe?"
"I don't know, sir. We haven't heard word."
"Then we better check it out." He wouldn't know, but he thinks the Kaminoans might be key in trying to survive. Their cloning technology anyway.
Not that he has any intention of cloning himself a million times. A million children sounds nice, but it's probably too many for Anakin to take care of. Even with Rex's help.
**w**
Padme is the next to come in to see him. She embraces him tightly, and Anakin returns it. It's strange to see her. She looks the same, only exhausted, but he lost his eye. Everything looks... the same, but different. It's not something he'd wish on anybody, but hey, if his depth perception is off, he and Ahsoka can laugh about all the stupid things he does later.
"I'm so glad you're safe," she whispers into his shoulder.
"And – our child?" Anakin asks.
"The twins are fine," she promises, "I brought them here with a few of my handmaids. We survived." Twins? They're having two? Think about that later.
"Have you heard from your family on Naboo?"
"Gunga City is safe," she answers, "They've barricaded themselves inside. Sola and my parents are safe. So are my nieces."
Anakin tries not to think of his own family back on Tatooine. They have nowhere to hide. He... kind of likes the idea of Jabba as a zombie, though. Seems fitting. Doesn't mean it's funny, because no one has a chance of surviving in such a hostile environment. There's very little that grows there. No one could live long in the wild.
Tatooine is probably lost.
It's not a hospitable place, anyway. Not a place anyone would miss.
"What are we going to do?" Padme asks him quietly.
"I don't know," Anakin confesses, "But we'll find a way to survive. Our child – children – need it." Children. They have twins. One child in a place like this would be hard enough, but he can still rest assured his child will never be alone. They're two halves of a whole. He doesn't know how they're going to raise them, keep them safe, but they'll handle it one step at a time.
"Yes," Padme agrees, sighing softly, "I guess that's all we can do now."
"This isn't the life I imagined for Luke and Leia, but at least we're both here to raise them."
"Don't talk like that," she requests, "There's no other way it could be."
Anakin hopes she's right.
...actually, Obi-Wan was supposed to lose his eye, not his arm, but whatever O.O xD I got the idea, and I couldn't get rid of it...
Also, I really was going to make this way longer, but I kept running into writer's block and was having a really hard time... I'm sorry this didn't come out way better. ;-; I ended up scrambling last minute and in general screwed everything up.
~ Rivana Rita
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