When you wake up, you don't even check your phone. It's a bit earlier than you usually wake up, but you feel rested. A bit sore from sleeping on the couch, but you needed that deep, dreamless sleep. You have breakfast with Dani, and she bribes you into a quickie pushing all the right buttons. You need the release, so you let her have her way with you over the counter tops of your kitchen.
You take a lengthy shower after that, and take your time to do your hair. You straighten it before pulling it up into a high ponytail, some loose strands freely surrounding your face. Then you do your make up, sexy, yet elegant. Dark red lip gloss, thick mascara, and almost nothing else. And you get dressed. Even your outfit is top notch today. You wear black tight slacks, a black button up shirt, red high heels and a red blazer. You look...fuckable. You feel hot, empowered. You roll your sleeves up to right below your elbows. As a final touch, you add a few sprays of your favourite perfume, and you leave your room in order to go to work. You are slightly kind of late, you blame your wife for that, but you are sure you will arrive right on time; for some reason you don't fully understand, on Wednesday mornings the traffic is kind of light. You even decide to take your own car today.
"Dear Lord, one day you are going to kill me with this business looks..." Dani mumbles as you pass by her, eyeing you up and down.
You grab your purse, throwing your shit in it, including your phone, grab your car keys, home keys, kiss Dani scorching-ly goodbye, and leave. You really feel powerful today, even if your brain is still swimming in stupid Brittany related thoughts. You have been avoiding it all morning.
When you get to work, right on time as you guessed, you are all business. You know you have a full agenda for the day and you get to it as soon as you have discarded your blazer on the back of your chair. You are sharp, you are fierce, you want the best of the best and you know how to get it, but a part of you is not even in the room during the meetings.
The afternoon is filled with castings for models, but you are not even into that. You are a committed woman, kind of married or whatever, but you are not blind. The sight of beautiful women strutting half naked through your store...let's say it's something you secretly enjoy. Not today though. You can feel Kurt's eyes burning holes into your skull. You know he is worried. But nothing about your demeanour today gives away that you are falling into a fucking rabbit hole quicker than you say fuck.
When your work is done for the day, you throw your blazer back on and walk to your car, finally checking your phone. What you find there stops you dead in your tracks. You find not only last night's calls from Dr. Holiday, but two more, a voicemail and a text message from Quinn.
I haven't found anyone connected to Brittany, yet. I'll keep looking. I'm Sorry ~ Q. Fabray
You sigh at the message and without answering you call your voicemail service.
Santana, it's Dr. Holiday... I...uh, Brittany is awake, but her condition is tough. I need you to call me back or come down to the hospital as soon as you can, please...
"Oh, fuck" You mutter, and almost ran the distance that is separating you from your car. You don't think. You simply revv the engine and speed towards Saint Mary's. You don't think about Dani, or how worried she might get when you are not home in time. You don't think about Kurt's words. You don't think. You simply act.
When you get to the hospital you are out of breath, as if you had gone there running instead of driving. You make your way to Holly's office after asking directions, because you can't remember how to get there on your own, and when you finally do, you knock the door firmly.
"Come in" She says, and you push the door open, not saying anything but taking a seat in front of her.
"Oh, Santana." She greets as she looks up at you. "God, you are a sight for sore eyes." She adds in her usual flirty mode, and you can't help but smirk. It feels good to be praised by an attractive woman, even if she is quite older than you. Today you'll take it, besides you know she means no harm. You still don't say anything though.
"So... Brittany woke up..." She starts with a tired sigh. "She seems to be mostly fine, but we haven't been able to run any tests on her. The only thing she has said is your name, and she got quite aggressive when she realised you weren't here, so we had to sedate her.."
You sigh. She woke up. That's good news, right? But the fact that she has been looking for you sets you off. How can it be even possible? If someone asked you two days ago how Brittany was doing, your answer would have been 'who's Brittany?' and you would have gone on with your life. But now? Now everything is a fucking mess.
You are still breathing heavily, but you are trying to control your emotions.
"Can I see her?" You ask, and it reminds you of the first day you came down here.
"Yes. Actually, she should be waking up again from the sedation anytime soon, and we think it would be a good try to see how she reacts if you are actually there." She says kindly and you nod, getting up from the chair.
Dr. Holiday leads the way again quietly, and once again pats your shoulder affectionately before she lets you in the room.
Brittany is still connected to IV drips and a heart monitor, but they have taken her breather out, so you can fully look at her face. God, she's beautiful. You take a seat on the chair in the room and just wait. Your eyes are deeply focused on a dot you've found on the floor, and you stay like that for what feels like hours. Still like a statue. Just waiting.
"Red has always been your colour..." You hear, and for a split second you smile, thinking that your mind is playing tricks on you again. That her voice is a figment of your imagination. Until you remember Holly's words.
You feel chills down your spine, you feel how the hairs at the nape of your neck stand to full attention, and you still your movements, concentrating only on the sounds. The hear monitor is beeping slightly faster than it was ten seconds ago. You can hear a soft rustling of sheets. If you try hard enough you can hear her breathing.
You are not ready, but you shift your gaze up from the floor to the bed. She is looking back at you. Her eyes are slightly hooded and she looks restless, like she can't get comfortable in that damn bed. Weakly she lifts one of her arms towards you.
"Santana..." She mumbles.
You get up before you notice what you are doing. You move closer to her. You grab her hand lightly and feel the electricity between you two as if it was the first day you met. She feels warm and soft, and her eyes so blue, looking directly into your soul.
You want to say something. You want to do something. Anything. But you are stuck.
"I'm sorry." You hurriedly say, dropping her hand and leaving the room.
On the closest bin you empty the contents of your stomach, retching violently as hot, almost acidic tears flow down your cheeks.