8/23/19
At a little home in Cincinnati, Jon had just pulled up in a beat up Camry. "Another day of ass kicking, sometimes I wonder if you're even worth it." he sighed to the 24/7 championship in the passenger seat. He picked it up before unhooking the seatbelt and exiting the car, he looked it over "Someday I should get a new vehicle, this thing is in worse condition than that van with the 11 kids."
Jon popped the trunk and pulled the suitcase out of it, he heard his phone ping as he shut the trunk.
Hey honey, I'm stopping by the store on my way home. Need anything?
Nah, just the usual stuff.
Okay, be there in an hour or 2. Love you.
Love you too.
He put the phone away after his little text chat with his wife, Renee Young.
-later-
Jon was now in a small little room, he then set the suitcase on it and proceeded to unzip it. When he opened the case, he let out a confused "What the?" as WWE ref Jon Cone pulled himself out of the suitcase with a creek in his back. He was then rolled up in a school boy pin.
1.
2.
Jon kicked out.
He shot up and saw the intruder, "You again?!" who turned out to be that Kakunsa lady. "Can't you girls just leave me alone?"
"Sorry, but love can't be avoided forever." Kakunsa retorted before nailing a forearm to Jon, she then banged his head on a dresser before bashing a lamp over his head and sending him to the ground.
Kakunsa hooks the leg.
1.
2.
Jon kicked out again.
Kakunsa then mounted the champion and nailed a flurry of punches to his face, Jon then reversed their positions and nailed a few punches of his own. He then picked her up and tossed her out of the room. He then charged at her with a clothesline, sending her over the railing- but Kakunsa luckily got her feet on the small footing underneath. Jon nailed a headbutt to her as she grabbed on desperately to the railing, she then nailed a headbutt of her own. Staggering Jon before she hooked her arm over his head and lifted him and hit a dangerously high superplex off the top floor.
Jon's back landed hard onto the wood floors below, as did Kakunsa's. The ref running down the stairs and checked on the two, they writhed in pain before kakunsa was able to pull herself atop of Jon.
1.
2.
Jon just got the shoulder up.
Kakunsa groaned both from the superplex, and that Jon was still able to kick out. She then painfully got back to her feet and slowly pulled the aching Jon up before dragging him to the kitchen, where Jon then elbowed her in the ribs before he banged her head against the fridge. He then tossed her onto a round glass table, knocking over the centerpiece.
Jon then limped over to her, holding his back in pain, before Kakunsa then speared him into the giant flatscreen TV. The tv then slipped off its hinges and fell onto the two brawlers, who found themselves trapped underneath it. Jon and Kakunsa let out, "Ow".
Just then, from the door to the back patio came a small green dog with black ears, arms, legs, and a large zipper in the front? "HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII! Have you seen my piggy?" the dog then went over to the fridge and pulled out a carton of milk. It then pulled down his face to reveal a small shiny robot head with glowing blue eyes, which then drank the milk form the carton.
"GIR!"
The robot who apparently went by Gir, turned to see what looked like a small kid with shiny black hair, blue eyes, a red stirped shirt, black pants, gloves, boots, and a metal backpack looking thing attached to his back. The most notable thing was that his skin was shade of light green. "Oh hi masta!"
"This is the last time ZIIIIIIIIIIIIM leaves you alone in the mall of America! Am I gonna have to get the leash out again?" the green kid exclaimed before he looked around and saw the damage. "What did you do?"
"Not me, them." Gir then pointed to the two underneath the TV. Zim turned his head in the direction, but what caught his attention was the belt around the waist of the one in the jeans.
"Gir do you realize what that thing is?" Zim asked his robot.
"BISQUITS!" Gir yelled.
Zim raised an eyebrow, "NOOOOOOO Gir, it's the championship of 24/seveeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen! This could be a key part in my latest plan for WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORLD DOMINATIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!" he then saw Jon Cone and pointed, "YOU! Zebra shirt man!"
"My name is Jon."
"Whatever! Count it!" Zim order before hoping onto the TV pinning Moxley and Kakunsa. Cone came over and counted.
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2.
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Zim shook his hands in anticipation, "Yes, yes, yes!" Zim was then handed the 24/7 championship. "BEHOLD YOUR NEW 24/7 CHAMPION! ZIM! Soon to be Lord of MANKIND!" he then looked to his robot, "Gir, activate escape protocol before someone comes to take Zim's title."
Gir's eyes then went red and got into a military stance, "Yes, master!" Gir then activated his jet feet, Zim then climbed onto the robot's head before they took of through the roof, leaving a sizable hole in the ceiling.
Jon Cone then pulled the TV off the weakened Moxley and Kakunsa, the former which realized his championship was gone. Kakunsa panted after a brutal battle ended up with them both losing, "Damn it, so close."
"Well, my wife is gonna kill when she see's this. What do we do now?" Jon panted.
Kakunsa blinked before she turned to the lunatic, "Want to make out?"
-10 minutes later-
Renee just came back and winced at the condition the house was in, groceries in hand she sighed without a care. She then went to the kitchen and placed the bags on the counter, she then saw Jon with that lady from Universe 2 she saw at Summerslam on couch. She went over there with her arms crossed, Jon removed himself from Kakunsa's face and saw his wife.
He pushed the maiden of him and broke out in a cold sweat, "Uh, hey honey." just then they heard a chandelier crash through the glass table.
Renee just sighed and went to put the groceries away, "I'm not even gonna ask." Jon timidly followed her.
Kakunsa tried to sneak out the open patio door, "Not so fast." she heard Renee call, she then gulped as the screen faded to black.
Well that was brutal, and both Jon and Kakunsa are in for it with the former's wife. BTW the new Invader Zim movie, Enter the Florpus, is now on Netflix.
Title changes: Zim def. Jon Moxley for the 24/7 championship.