AUgust24 06 Game Show

a/n: L and Alexa comment on everyone's favorite show, Squad Goals.

Editing? Not tonight, fellow pons.

"Good afternoon and welcome to the quarterfinals of Squad Goals, where teams do the impossible. We are glad to welcome as today's guest host the well-known skell expert, Ms. Alexa of the Outfitters."'

"Hi, L, and glad to be here You know, I was a sad as anyone else when my division was knocked out last round, but I'm kinda glad to be here for reasons."

"A cloud by any other lining would smell as sweet, as we like to say."

"Exactly."

"And what makes today's competition the apple of your eye?"

"One word."

"The skells?"

"The skell. Today's teams will be allotted only one skell."

"Finders are keepers and a tricky constraint."

"It gets even trickier. The skell the lucky team will pilot is .. get this ... so special..."

"We are beside ourselves in curiosity."

"So special and also retro! Because the skell doesn't have a flight pack. Get used to those sweet sweet jumps we lost along the way."

"Color us blue with shock. Where did the show find such a marvelous collectable?"

"The Skell Historical Society has kindly loaned a Model 20 for today's contest. I'd like to remind the viewers that their museum is slated to open this fall."

"We are sure you are looking forward to it."

"You know it."

"We do indeed. Will the equipped team be penalized for any damage to the skell?"

"I will personally smack them into soldering paste if they so much as scratch a single fender."

"Alexa, we implore you. Climb down from the desktop."

"Sorry, my bad. Anyway, they will be instantly disqualified if the skell is disabled. To say nothing of what I will do when I get my hands on them."

"We believe we all understand. It appears that the teams are lining up and across and sideways."

"The Harriers have an advantage, sprinting to the skell. Dougie has some long legs."

"The Daddy of Long Legs, we agree. The clock begins! Now we wait for the mission goals to be announced, as soon as the skell is claimed."

"Yippee, Doug got there already, so you can spill the beans."

"Yes, let us peruse ... ah, we find these beans to be both small and disappointing."

"What do you mean?"

"The totally random choice was Squad Task Number 16."

"Totally boring. Nothing but collectable grabbing. That's a waste of both Harriers and Interceptors. I bet Tatsu could manage it."

"Indeed. For our viewers not in the trenches, this selection is both simple-minded and impossible. A set number of flora, vegetables and fruit, as well as Joadtank and Jaharmum."

"Wow. That last item is only found in the Roost in upper Noctilium. That's impossible to reach without flight. That bites."

"A deep pity and very unlucky draw, we agree."

"Never mind. Looks like the Harrier are heading straight for Cauldros for the last set of items. As long as they collect those first and manage to split the remaining possibilities, they'll have a solid lead. Meanwhile, the Interceptors are spreading out."

"The better to cover terrain, we suppose. A valid strategy, but why is their fourth member diverging?"

"That's Frye. He's not great with directions. Look at him go. He's going to reach Noctilum at that rate."

"The first scores are already being achieved. The Interceptors have completed the flora collection on their own."

"Lucky grabs. They might beat the Harriers yet. So, any news on the skell? Just asking."

"Do you wish us to turn to the skell's dashboard camera?"

"Does Lin like to make Tatsu jokes? Skell yes."

"As you wish. They have reached the ocean already."

"Mmmmm, beautiful. Even a baby level 20 knows how to kick up spray."

"You are drooling."

"Whoops, sorry."

"The Harriers are carving a course around Sylvalum."

"That makes sense. The speed across open water is faster than the soft sand of Sylvalum, plus you avoid all the Xe-dom."

"We also prefer to avoid those where possible."

"Mmmmm, go baby go."

"Scoring update: the next two goals have been completed, fruits and vegetables collected, split between the teams, making for a very balanced diet. The Interceptors have a slight numerical lead but we fear that is perishable."

"Yes, agreed. The Harriers have a real advantage if they corner the Jaharmum market. The Interceptors might not even make it to Cauldros in time. I wonder what happened to Frye."

"We are amazed. We are speechless. We have drone footage."

"What's going on? Sweet mother of marmalade, is that Frye up there on a vine over the Skybound Coil Tree? I don't believe what I'm seeing. Is he part mountain goat?"

"We do believe he just caught hold of some grass with his teeth to stick the landing."

"Those branches will get him to the waterfall under the Roost, but that's not enough. Or is it?"

"We would say not, except he seems to be running across sheer cliff face. Let us drop upon his eaves."

[grunting noises mixed with a steady "hyup, hyup, hyup"]

"That's Frye for you. He managed a leap to the scarlet roots that lead up the rest of the way. If he can catch that bract ... I'm breathless ..."

"We personally still require respiration. Frye has indeed caught the edge of the ledge and has pulled himself up onto the Roost. The Joadtank goal will be 100% for Team Interceptor."

"Wow. That was the most impressive thing I've ever seen that didn't involve skells. We'll be back after a commercial break."

a/n: I know you need a skell to jump up there (possible without flight), but I'm going to pretend that Frye can manage it.

Next up: Farm/Ranch. Yee haw.