The episode opens on a newspaper cutting of Reginald Hargreeves opening the Hotel Obsidian, before cutting to Luther running down the stairs, greeting Chet, who was disinterested in the greeting. Luther ran past a sign for Chet's missing dog, into the park, not noticing ravens following him to begin with. As he got further in, he saw more and more, realising it was a trap, he turned and ran, seeing Christopher floating after him with the ravens, before he crashed into a lamppost, knocking it down. Luther then found himself in the air, as Sloane, Ben and Fei gathered around him. Sloane greeted him before Ben kicked him in the face, knocking him out.

"You built the Hotel?" Klaus asked, scandalised.

"I do have several real estate properties, did none of you children ever inspect my portfolio?" Reginald questioned.

"Poor Chet." Vanya remarked.

"Oh god, that isn't good." Luther blinked.

"You took one of ours, we take one of yours." Ben viciously grinned.

"We didn't take Marcus! You saw that!" Vanya cried.

"I saw you trick him and lead him to his death." Ben stated. "You Umbrella's killed my brother. Be grateful we're only taking your Number One, not killing him."

In Hollywood, Alison entered the house and crept up to Claire's room, waking her, she jumped back when she saw the girl in the bed was not Claire. Screaming, Patrick and his wife ran into the room, yelling that she had to leave and was scaring their daughter. Alison remarked something was very wrong, before waking up again in a taxi, back at the Hotel Obsidian.

"Oh God, where's Claire?!" Alison shouted, beginning to hyperventilate. "Am I not married to Patrick?"

"If there was less kids born in this time, maybe you weren't ever born. No you, no Claire." Five said, wondering what could have happened as Alison looked to be on the verge of a breakdown again, Vanya moving to draw her sister into a hug, rubbing circles on her back to calm her down.

Vanya read a history book in the lobby, that showed her and Diego listed as the Kennedy Six, before seeing Chet was reading it over her shoulder, he told her that they take all kinds of people there before leaving her to it. Sitting and reading through it, she saw that Sissy died in 1989 under a false name in California. Remembering Sissy's last words to her, she started to cry, tearing the page out of the book with Sissy's face, and pocketing it.

"I see we're famous at least." Diego grinned at Vanya, who blushed.

"Sissy..." Vanya breathed, seeing what happened to her. At least she was safe. If nothing else, she'd get Five to blink her to 1963 and help Sissy find herself and escape Carl, if nothing else.

Vanya then looked into a barber shop window in the hotel, thinking about being in a box, she went in and requested a haircut. In the Boys room, Klaus woke up, throwing some of Luther's underpants onto Diego's sleeping face, he opened a compartment in his shoe to bring out a cheque, showing the name of his birth mother and her address.

"What are you thinking, Vanya? Time for a change, it'd suit you." Alison smiled at her as Vanya wondered herself what she was doing, a thought coming to her mind.

"Klaus, what is that?" Five asked as Reginald's eyes narrowed in displeasure.

"Just a little keepsake." Klaus giggled to himself, not expanding.

At the lobby, Stan was grabbing food from the buffet, as Klaus asked Diego if Stan was really his, Diego said he allegedly was, Five came over and asked who the mother is, questioning if Lila was still there when Diego said she was the mother.

"Why would you need to see Lila?" Diego asked.

"She'll likely have a briefcase, idiot, you know, a way for us to get home?" Five replied, shaking his head.

"She dumped him in my lap last night then bolted."

Klaus said he didn't much care for her as Five said she was technically family.

"She was trying to murder us like yesterday." Klaus argued.

"Like I said, family." Five replied.

"We're a terrible family, really." Luther frowned.

"I'm sure any other super powered family would be the same." Klaus cheerily reasoned.

Diego yelled that she better return for Stan as they had more important things to deal with right now as Vanya walked up, asking where Luther was. Klaus complimented them on their haircut as they stated they'd spoken with Marcus, Diego rounded on them.

"It looks good on you, Van." Klaus smiled as Vanya returned it.

"Thanks, Klaus."

"Who elected you, Vanya?"

"It's uh...Viktor."

"Who's Viktor?" Diego asked.

"I am...it's who I've always been." Viktor said, as Five and Klaus gave appraising and encouraging looks to him. "Anyone got a problem with that?"

"Viktor..." Vanya mulled it over for a moment, rolling the name on her tongue. "I like it."

"Viktor? Hmm, it suits you." Five gave him a small smile.

"I like it." Luther agreed with a grin.

"Aww my baby brother." Klaus cooed as Viktor rolled his eyes.

"We're all with you, Viktor." Diego said.

"Brother or Sister, I'll love you, no matter what, Viktor." Alison told him as Viktor beamed at her.

"It suits you, Master Viktor." Pogo told him. Reginald simply pursed his lips as Ben sat back, not caring about the Umbrella's and their own issues. He just wanted to know how to get back home, once he found out how to get rid of these idiots.

Klaus, Five and Diego all agreed they didn't, before Five stated that Viktor didn't speak for the family.

"Sorry, but it's true. If anyone speaks for the family as a whole, it's me, I know the most about all of this." Five said as the others objected.

Viktor explained he'd made a deal with Marcus as Diego laughed, saying it was a trap, Viktor said it wasn't as Diego planned to lay a trap himself to wipe out the Sparrows, Viktor said they were getting the briefcase then fixing the timeline. Five spoke up, saying this timeline had no apocalypse, it didn't matter that Claire didn't exist, or that they weren't the Umbrella Academy, he was retired and they were done messing with Time. Klaus said he was concerned that Five was wearing aftershave.

"Well I had no idea it'd be serious, did I?" Diego asked as Viktor looked over at him.

"I'm sorry Alison, but in the grand scheme of things, we need to not mess anymore. I mean now I know all of this, we won't ever be jumping to begin with, and we'll help you get custody of Claire in this timeline, but I can see where my other self is coming from." Five told Alison, who looked ready to attack him for saying Claire didn't matter.

The Kugelblitz sent out another shock wave, killing more and momentarily frying the power at the Hotel, causing Five to look at the lights with worry before Klaus asked him if he wanted to get out of there on a road trip with him. Klaus tried to pitch it as Five needing something to do whilst retired and they could be Thelma and Louise, Five said he was an idiot but he was in, after noting that three lobsters had mysteriously vanished from Chet's lobster tank.

"You know something's up, don't you, Five?" Alison asked.

"I probably suspect, but will want to play it off as coincidence. This road trip sounds stupid, but at least it'll be a good distraction."

"It's with moi, I'll find a way to make it interesting." Klaus wiggled his eyebrows at Five who groaned.

Diego spoke with Stan, laying down some rules before he saw Stan needed medicine for his ear, heading off with him to get some, Viktor tried to stop them going, as they rushed out, he saw Five and Klaus leaving for their road trip, asking why everyone was leaving when he had the planned meetup with Marcus.

"At least you're a good father, Diego." Alison smiled at him. "Maybe Stan and Claire can have playdates sometime."

"Maybe." Diego smiled at her. He really had to find Lila.

In the Sparrow Academy, Luther awoke to Grace tending to him, she asked him why people keep calling her Mom, saying the Academy was waiting for him, heading out of the room, holding a mop as a weapon, he saw them all eating a breakfast buffet, asking Luther to join them for some food.

"Why are you being nice to me?" Luther asked Ben, who smiled.

"Well you're clearly a brother of ours in some way, why wouldn't we?" Ben smiled as everyone looked at him with distrust.

The Sparrows introduced themselves by name and number, as Luther remarked it was good to see Ben again, explaining that Ben had died fifteen years ago. Luther asked where Number One was, as the Sparrows glared, demanding to know that themselves, saying that Vanya had kidnapped him, Luther remarked she wasn't the type, admitting he didn't know everything until last usually as discipline wasn't a strong suit for the Umbrellas.

"How did your Ben die?" Ben asked softly, startling them.

"The Jennifer Incident." Luther shook his head sadly.

"What was-"

"Children, we must get through this. Let us move on." Reginald snapped.

"Well I mean you're not wrong, you do seem to learn things last." Klaus giggled as Luther glared at him.

Luther said he'd head back and send Marcus back if the Umbrellas had him, before Ben forced him to sit down, saying he would remain a guest until Marcus returned, and if he tried to escape, Fei's birds would kill him and nest inside his skull. The rest of the Sparrows took off, as Sloane asked Luther what he liked to do for fun.

"Well I guess it isn't a peaceful meal after all, just a threat." Pogo shook his head.

"I like you, Sensei, but yeah, we won't let them go." Ben replied.

"I'm your Sensei am I? Now this is a development. I wonder where I was during your fight?" Pogo questioned.

Viktor brought food to Alison, who said she didn't want to eat, Viktor told her about the meeting with Marcus and how she could fix it, Alison jumped up and said she was coming with them, that they weren't going to be left alone with it. Alison asked since when were they the optimist, Viktor said they were making some changes, promising to explain on the way.

Outside the hotel, Lila tried to use her Commission briefcase to go to Berlin, struggling to get it to work, she snapped, smashing it against a park bench as she yelled every profanity near a group of children.

"Well, I guess Lila won't be bailing on you and Stan after all." Klaus grinned at Diego who smiled. It'd be nice to actually get to know Lila beyond her mission.

In the car, Five talked about how it was nice to relax for once, with the apocalypse, Commission and Academy, he'd spent over forty years just waiting for the shoe to drop. Five mentioned all the road trip stops he had planned, before Klaus admitted the reason for the trip, spotting the Ball of Twine, Five forced the car to turn towards it as Klaus protested, Five said with no ball of twine, Klaus couldn't visit his birth mother.

"I'm surprised I'm even allowing the trip to continue, I must really be determined to not care. Can't say I blame myself though, dealing with you idiots." Five grumbled.

Alison and Viktor walked down the street, discussing that they never realised, Viktor said Alison couldn't have, as he didn't know himself. He said how he used to hate mirrors, thinking everyone felt wrong in their skin, but now he just sees himself as he should be.

"I'm so happy for you Viktor." Alison said, offering her brother a small squeeze as he reciprocated, grinning widely.

Five asked Klaus why he sought out his birth mother now as they inspected the twine ball, Klaus said he had the cheque showing her since the 2000's, he just put it off with everything in his life, but with Reginald and Grace gone from their lives, now seemed a good time to see what life could have been like for him.

"Just don't meet your other self, if you get paradox psychosis, run." Five warned Klaus.

"Oh yeah that didn't look fun with your past self, I'll keep away from it." Klaus promised

In the store, Diego was getting Stan's medicine with him when Jayme and Alphonso walked in, looking for food to swipe. Diego crept up on Alphonso and began attacking him, with Stan's help, getting the upper hand, as Jayme came in to help, blocking her venom with a pan, Diego began chucking cans at Jayme and some at Alphonso, dragging Stan away as the two Sparrows lay beaten on the floor.

"Well it seems your Sparrow training leaves something to be desired, if Master Diego could defeat two of you by himself." Pogo remarked. "I suppose my other self wasn't a good Sensei."

"You were brilliant! Until the old man cast you out for caring!" Ben snapped, ignoring the questions from the others about that.

Klaus walked into the Amish retreat to find his mother, Five wishing him luck but saying he wasn't going in with him, Klaus came up to one and asked about his mother, giving her name, the Amish woman was surprised as a man, Caleb, came by and told Klaus that there was no Rachel there and to leave, shoving him to the ground, Klaus said he was leaving but told them they ruined the Amish for him.

"He's definitely hiding something." Klaus' eyes narrowed. Why were they hiding his mother from him?

At the Sparrow Academy, Luther and Sloane were running on treadmills, as Sloane asked Luther about himself, about the Umbrella Academy, before seeing the security camera pan away, she told him that if she could, she'd leave the Sparrows herself, that one day she was going to see the world, Luther remarked he was once on the Moon for a while, Sloane said it sounded amazing and cool as Luther said nobody ever thought it was cool he was up there.

"Someone who actually likes to hear about my time up there?" Luther asked, amazed. "I mean, come on, it's a celestial body, yet everyone pretends like they've been there for vacations!"

"Yes, we know about your Moon fetish, Luther." Alison smiled at him, frowning at the screen. Luther was hers. This Sloane had better not get in the way.

Sloane asked more about the Umbrellas as the camera panned back to them, Luther almost admitting where they were staying before saying she was honey trapping him, Fei then came in, saying Ben wanted a word with Luther and dismissing Sloane. Sloane looked over the city before turning away, not noticing Lila watching her, smiling, Lila used the powers she had copied from Vanya to lift herself into the air towards the Academy, as the Kugelblitz sent out another shock wave.

"Lila's after the briefcase." Five groaned. Great, someone else he had to contend against.

Five was singing to the music in the car when the shockwave reached them, out in Pennsylvania, destroying a field of cows. Noticing the shockwave, Five asked if he couldn't just get one day off, running to the car. In the Academy basement, Grace brought cookies for the Kugelblitz, saying it created all types, before raising her arms in worship as a framed photo of Marcus was shown.

In a field, an Amish woman is digging in the woods as Klaus approaches her, scaring her, he asks if she knows Rachel, she admits Rachel was her sister, and that she died of a brain haemorrhage thirty years ago, on October 1st, 1989. Klaus remarks that's the day he was born as she tells him to flee, Caleb in the distance yelling that the English took their cows.

"Your mother died the day you were born? Does that mean she died before giving birth to you?" Five pondered.

"I don't exist in this timeline? C'est Moi?!" Klaus acted offended, deep down, he was unsettled.

In a diner, Alison looked over at all the kids having fun before checking Viktor could use the briefcase, Viktor said Five was an asshole but not a monster, he'd help them. Back with the Amish, Five was doing calculations on the car windows when Klaus yelled to start the car, rushing to him, stopping as Sarah-Beth gave him a book on unexplained deaths that happened October 1st, 1989, saying Rachel wasn't the only one. Klaus read that his mother had died before ever giving birth to him in this timeline, causing Five to slam on the brakes and ask him what he just said.

"Yeah, I'd help if I can." Five agreed after a moment.

"Wait, are we all dead here? Is that why we weren't adopted?" Diego narrowed his eyes.

"Seems to be that way. Huh." Five replied, wondering on his own mortality.

"Is that all you have to say?" Alison asked. "That many people don't just die at once. Something or someone came after us." She looked over at Reginald, who frowned.

At the diner, Alison remarked how Marcus wasn't showing, before having a panic attack as she remembered the 1960's and what she had done to Claire, rushing outside for air, she noticed Lester Pocket watching her, she asked him why he was as he turned and left, she gave chase, before losing track of him. Viktor caught up and asked if she was ok, the two headed back to the Hotel, not seeing Lester on the fire escape above, ice covering the railings and floor, as he put his headphones back on and descended.

"Ok, whoever this guy is, that's creepy and we've got to do something about him. He has powers as well, he's probably a threat." Luther stated as most of the others nodded their agreement. Viktor couldn't help but think he seemed familiar somehow.

At the Sparrow Academy, they told Luther how it looked like his family wasn't coming, before telling him they were letting him go as a sign of goodwill. He had to tell the Umbrella's to let Marcus go or the Sparrows would kill them all. Luther said he got it as Alphonso, who remarked he was beating Diego as Jayme said he was getting his ass kicked, handed Luther a tote bag. Luther left as Sloane looked forlornly behind him. Fei let her ravens go to follow him. In the basement, a raven picked up the briefcase before taking it to the roof, where Lila sat, it re-entered her as she hugged and kissed the briefcase.

"So they're basically a commercial thing?" Diego asked. "No wonder I kicked two of their asses by myself."

"Sloane seems to have feelings for you, Luther." Klaus winked as Luther flushed.

"Lila has the briefcase. Great. I need to get hold of her." Five stated.

The Umbrellas discussed Diego and Stan and Alison remarked on how he at least had a kid, before Five and Klaus came in, Five saying they had an issue, they were all dead in this timeline, their mothers dying before giving birth and when they came here they created a grandfather paradox.

"A grandfather paradox?" Reginald breathed as Five paled.

"Is that bad? I'm assuming that's bad." Viktor noted.

"We're doomed." Five muttered.

At the Sparrow Academy, Luther left the academy and began to walk as Sloane whispered for his attention, lifting him off the ground towards her window, he passed Reginald's window, who glanced at the window before returning to his television programme. Luther entered her window as Sloane apologised for earlier, saying her family was spying on them as they're crazy, but she meant every word she said to him, even about the Moon. Luther asked if they were being watched now, she said no as he kissed her. Breaking apart, they looked at each other before resuming kissing, the screen fading to black.

"Oh god." The Umbrellas cried, hiding their eyes as Luther made out on the screen, Luther just flushing at it as Alison's eyes narrowed.

"You better not try that if this somehow happened this time." Alison warned him as Luther gulped.

"You're the one I'm with." He smiled at her. "I love you. Nothing could ever change that."

Was hoping to finish season 3 before season 4 drops, guess not. I'll try get season 3 finished by the end of August though and start the season 4 reactions then!