Chapter 5 - Loss

Garrus
November 2nd, 2186

"Garrus!" A voice called from over my shoulder as I was leaving the coliseum. I paused and turned around to see another turian standing on the other side of the room. It was as if I was looking in a mirror at myself, albeit a slightly older and shorter version. And without the attractive facial scars.

"Dad?" I questioned, closing the distance. As soon as I got within arms reach, I was dragged into a fierce hug.

"Garrus… I thought I'd never see you again…" Castis Vakarian's subharmonics rumbled with relief, and mine matched.

I thought back to our last meeting, which happened just after Shepard was arrested on Earth. She told me to go to Palaven and prepare the best we could. After all, I was on Aratoht with her. I knew the score. I returned to Palaven to get my dad to set up a meeting with Fedorian so that we could plead our case.

Despite the rift that had opened up in our relationship, my father was never one to discount something based on personal feelings. His detective mentality remained unwholesomely unshakable in his later years, always hearing the evidence without the taint of bias and drawing conclusions based on it. With all the evidence Shepard had accrued over the years, it was trivial to convince my father of their existence, and through him, the Primarch.

"Where is Sol?" I asked.

"She is at home with a broken leg, and the doctors say she should stay off it for a while. You should come visit if you have the time." For the first time I could remember, I saw pride in my father's eyes along with a healthy dose of worry.

"I will, dad, as soon as I can."

-0-

November 3rd, 2186

After a few more hours at the office and a productive conversation where Victus asked to be reinstated to his previous position as General, I decided it was time to go to my father's.

Upon arriving, I was greeted by my hobbled little sister, who was just as much of a spitfire of a turian as I was, both of the Vakarian children taking much more from our mother, Octavia, than their father, much to Dad's chagrin. Although, Sol was much better at hiding her rebellious side, pointing much of the blame to me throughout our childhood.

When I reached the door, I was immediately assaulted by Solana's crutch, "You idiot!" Her expression lightened, "I'm glad you're okay…."

I just chuckled, "Missed you too, Solana."

Miranda

I met Padok Wiks and was about to ask for details on why I was called here when Karin Chakwas walked in. I nodded knowingly, "Ah, this is how he got my omni number. I'm going to regret giving that to you, aren't I?" Chakwas just cracked a small smile.

"I gave him your contact info because we needed you. You're the utmost expert on everything Shepard, and I didn't call personally because Prime Minister Stone hasn't told anyone who she is yet, save for the people who brought her here. We don't want the crew to know until she is recovered."

"Ok, so what is wrong?" I asked.

Padok sent me files of all the relevant scans before speaking, "Many injuries, not sure how she survived, but that is beside the point. Real problem here," A scan appeared on his omnitool, zooming in on an implant at the base of Shepard's skull, "This implant is malfunctioning, leaking something into bloodstream, causing severe seizures. Have put her into medical coma to stop seizures and on dialysis to filter blood. Has worked so far but is not permanent solution."

"Okay, let me see her."

We walked into an adjoining room where Shepard lay on an exam bed, a monitor above her head softly beeping with her heartbeat. She had only pieces of her armor left on her body, and what was left looked like it had been under an industrial blowtorch. Burns and bruises laced the exposed skin, turning the normally fair-skinned woman into a modern art piece, colors randomly strewn around the canvas. It looked very similar to the lab where I had resurrected Shepard before.

I scanned the files to see the extent of her injuries. Twenty-one broken ribs, two broken legs, a broken arm, a severe concussion, a broken nose, burns coating a third of her body, and a punctured lung… 'And a partridge in a pear tree….' I thought to myself. "Ok… let's get to work."

-0-

Rebuilding Shepard… again… was not as easy as I thought it would be. The trauma was severe, though not as bad as when she had died over Alchera. Replacing the malfunctioning cybernetic wasn't difficult, but healing the rest of the woman's extensive wounds would be. The upgrades I had given Shepard before her resurrection and during our Collector mission were hindering them, but it was undoubtedly what kept her alive through these injuries. Her heavy skin weaves made it very difficult to perform surgery, and the carbon fiber coating her skeleton made it even harder to set the bones properly. There was too much trauma for an Osseous unit to fix, her bones would have to be set and heal on their own, but the road to recovery would be long.

Twelve hours after the surgery finished, we started to bring her off the IV drip that kept her in a coma, and soon she'd wake up. Now it was just a matter of time.

Jason Stone
November 6th, 2186

Three days had passed since Miranda arrived and began the surgery with Shepard. I was just completing a call with Garrus arranging for a summit between the Alliance and the Hierarchy that would start in three weeks when my omnitool pinged. Shepard was awake. I quickly grabbed a few items and headed to the shuttle bay to return to Berlin.

Upon arriving, I strode quickly through the hospital, ignoring the salutes from the guards along the way, pushing through the doors into Shepard's room, causing Miranda to turn and see who came while Chakwas helped the wounded woman drink something. "Prime Minister." She greeted coolly, her accent carrying an aloof feeling with it.

Once Shepard had set aside the glass she was drinking from, she regarded him for a moment, her pearlescent emerald eyes scanning my form, before asking, "Jace?" The word emerged from her damaged throat more like a croak than a question, and she reached a shaky arm towards the table to retrieve the glass, gulping down more of the golden liquid.

"Hey, Ame… It's been a while…."

Amelia

My mind raced behind my calm exterior, shock flooding through my system as I realized the man standing before me was my childhood friend, who had moved from the city of New Edmonton, the capital of Mindoir, to the Alliance base on the other side of the planet a few weeks before the attack. It had been sixteen years since the attack, and I had never looked for any other survivors, knowing that the Alliance base had also been attacked that day. A wave of guilt washed over me, knowing that this man was a relic of my past life.

That life wasn't for Commander Shepard, or Admiral Shepard, or whatever I was now. That life was for the girl who died that day on Mindoir. The girl hadn't had a mean bone in her body; that girl wanted to be a xeno-history teacher, to go to all corners of the galaxy and discover anything and everything she could about the aliens she marveled at when her family traveled to the Citadel once per year, and teach it to the next generation. The girl born on the fateful day of April 13th, 2170, was the woman I am now. A steadfast, unwavering leader who swore that if I could prevent even a single person from feeling how I did that day, then any sacrifice I made would be worth it. But all that crumbled as a vestige of my former self walked into the room.

"Hey, Ame… It's been a while…." The man-shaped relic spoke, breaking me from my reflections. "I… I didn't know anyone in New Eddie survived… If I knew, I would've…." He stuttered off.

"It's s'okay, Jace." I couldn't be angry at him; I hadn't looked to see if my old friend was alive either; I had always assumed I was the sole survivor.

"What happened that day?"

I looked down, "It's not a day I like to remember," A humorless smile appeared on my lips, "Though, I guess that could describe a good portion of my life since then too. Papa and I went to see the Huskies play for my birthday. Mama and Mike stayed home. When we were walking home, the raid sirens started blasting, and we took off running, but it was too late. Once we got home, Papa ran into his bedroom to grab a pistol, and I went to the garage to grab a baseball bat. I heard a gunshot, and I ran upstairs to see Papa on his knees, a pistol to his head held by a batarian, another standing behind him checking on their companion, who Papa shot…." I took a shaky breath, exhaling as smoothly as possible, "Just past them, Mama and Mikey were dead, Mikey's throat was slit, and Mama… She was beaten… badly. The first batarian shot her as I came up the stairs. I had my biotic breakthrough that day… I wrapped the bat in biotic energy, and I killed the batarians. I just kept hitting and hitting until I had no energy left."

A look of horror crossed Jason's face, but I wasn't finished yet, "I just kneeled over their bodies and cried. And then the Alliance arrived. Anderson pulled me away. He comforted me… He helped me… He was like a father to me. He and Kahlee took me back to Earth, kept me safe until I turned 18, and I joined the Alliance." I was shaking, struggling to take a sip of my drink, when I finished recounting my tale.

"My God…" Chakwas said from where she was sitting in the corner. She hadn't heard this story either. Even the normally emotionless salarian looked horrified.

My emerald eyes met him again; all traces of emotion, save for a tinge of sadness, had vanished. I regarded him with a cool demeanor, my walls rebuilt and ready to face another assault. Jason rubbed the back of his neck, looking like he wanted to say something but couldn't form the words.

Jason sighed, "Well, that makes this even harder now. They found Admiral Anderson's body buried in the rubble of the FOB in London. He's alive, but it doesn't look good."

I bit her lip and tried my hardest to hold back tears but was unsuccessful. A single tear rolled down my burned cheek. Once I regained control, I breathed in and asked, "Can I see him?"

Jason turned to consult Miranda and Chakwas, who both wordlessly gave the nod. "Of course. We can transfer you to the hospital in London."

David Anderson
November 7th, 2187

My body racked with a violent cough, causing the vital monitors to whir and beep faster than they normally did. When I pulled my hand back, it was slick with blood. Kahlee Sanders stood from her chair, grabbing a cup of water and slowly tipping it into my throat.

"Thank you, Kahlee." I managed a weak smile, my eyes portraying my love for the woman. She was still as amazing as the day I met her some twenty years ago.

Kahlee returned my smile, but the sadness in her eyes was evident. I felt guilty about not spending more time with her. Since I'd met her, we had both put our careers first, only pausing in that pursuit for the two short years that we acted as surrogate parents for Shepard. Her especially, helping to nurture the young girl's strong biotic talents. "I'm sorry…." I croaked out.

Kahlee immediately put her forehead to mine, "Don't be. We've had a good life. I don't regret a thing."

"My only regret was not being able to spend more time with you," I said slowly and methodically, trying not to start coughing again.

The door to the room opened, and Chakwas wheeled Shepard into the room. Kahlee straightened up before moving to give Shepard a light hug. "Hey, Ame…"

"Hey, Aunt Kahlee, how are you doing?" Amelia asked, returning the hug with her good arm. Of course, Kahlee had no relation to Shepard, but it was what she had called her since Mindoir.

"I've been better. But I'll get out of here and let you two talk." She wore a sad smile on her face.

"Hey, Uncle David." She said once the door closed behind her. I smiled at the name, not hearing it in many years, as Shepard called me Anderson unless it was in private. I reached out an arm to her, and Shepard took it in hers.

"Hey, kiddo." They sat in companionable silence for a few moments before I continued, "Do you ever wonder… how our lives would be different… if all this," I gestured with my other arm, "didn't happen? What you'd be doing… if the attack never happened, or if you weren't my XO on the Normandy?"

"I don't think I could imagine a different life."

"What about now? I always… regretted not having children with Kahlee. I guess the ship has sailed now… Did you ever think of settling down?"

Amelia paused for a moment, "Yea, I like the sound of that." She smiled, "Not sure I'd be much good at it."

I coughed before clapping her arm reassuringly, "You'd make a great mother. Think about how proud they'd be… telling people that their mom… is Admiral Shepard."

Amelia teared up, one droplet making past her eye and down her cheek, "I don't know… Not everything I've done is something to be proud of…." She looked away from me.

"No." The force I put into the word shook her out of her rumination, "You've only ever done what you thought was right. My faith that you'd do the right thing never faltered. If that isn't something your kids can be proud of, I don't know what is. You've done good, child. I'm proud of you."

Tears flooded her eyes and choked sobs from her throat, "I love you… Please don't go… I don't know what I'd do without you…."

"You have Garrus for that now. I've lived a full life, and I have no regrets. You've been a shining star in it, thank you for that, but I'm afraid it's my time." When she looked into my eyes, I channeled all my feelings of love into them.

Shepard turned and signaled for Kahlee to come back in, and together they held my hands as I drifted away, finally going gently into that good night.