Chapter 3

Hiccup sat at the head table of the great hall, silently observing the festivities around him. Astrid's wedding feast seemed as joyous as any other he had been to in his lifetime, but he found he could only half-heartedly be a part of the celebration.

As far as he was concerned, he'd done his part, he showed up, he gave his blessing as Chief, and he'd toasted the happy couple. Now as the celebration ensued, all he wanted to do was leave.

He tried to avoid looking directly in Astrid's direction, but the glimpses he stole made his heart lurch. She was more beautiful than ever. She wore a long white gown with white fur draped over her shoulders. Her long blonde hair was braided in it's usual fashion with a crown of wild flowers atop her head. But what killed him the most was her smile. Her radiant smile that once had been for him, now was meant for someone else.

Hiccup reached for his mug, lazily lifted it to his mouth, and took a quick swig of ale. As he set the mug down, he was startled by a hard slap on his back that almost caused him to choke.

"What's up cuz," Snotlout grinned as he sat down beside Hiccup.

"Hey Hic," Fishlegs said as he sat down on the other side of him.

"Hey guys," Hiccup said flatly, "what's up?"

"Oh nothing," Snotlout replied, "just saw you sitting over here looking miserable, so we wanted to cheer you up."

"Oh great," Hiccup replied sarcastically, "just what I needed." Suddenly he was grabbed from behind by Tuffnut, who put him in a headlock and messed up his hair.

"What up Chief," Tuff said with a chuckle.

"Hey Tuff, take it easy on him," Snotlout replied, "can't you see he's having a bad day over here?" Tuff promptly let go of Hiccup.

"Awe come on Hic," Tuffnut said as he pulled up a chair, "don't let it get ya down, I mean it wasn't like a shock or anything. I mean, we all saw it coming right...am I right?" He motioned to the others. Hiccup sneered unbeknownst to Tuff. Ruffnut promptly elbowed her brother in the gut.

"Hey, what was that for," Tuff yelled out indignantly.

"Shut it Tuff," Ruffnut snapped.

"Come on," Tuff replied, "he knows I'm just kidding, don't ya Hic...Hic?" When Tuffnut turned to face Hiccup, he was already headed for the door of the great hall.

"See what ya did dumb ass," Ruffnut said. She smacked her brother in the back of the head, causing his helmet to fly off.

Normally Hiccup was not bothered by the comments his friends made about Astrid being too good for him, or that she'd always been out of his league, or even when they flat out told him he was an idiot for letting her go. Today, however, he did not feel like dealing with it. True, Tuffnut's comment was thoughtless, but then it was rare that Tuffnut ever thought before he spoke. Mostly Hiccup saw the perfect opportunity to leave.

He tried to make his way out of the crowded hall as tactfully as possible. The last thing he wanted was to draw attention to himself or to make a scene of leaving the celebration. He was just about out the door when Valka called to him.

"Hiccup," she called out, "where are you off to son?" Hiccup rolled his eyes and sighed heavily as he turned around to face her.

"Nowhere," he replied, "I just need some fresh air." She gazed at him questioningly. He crossed his arms over his chest and sighed again.

"Can we please not make a big deal about it," he replied, "I just need a break from...this." He motioned to the crowded hall. Valka smiled sympathetically. She patted her son on the shoulder.

"I'll see you later okay," she replied. He nodded and made his way out the door.

The moment he stepped outside, he was greeted with a cold breeze and an instant sense of relief. For the first time that night he felt like he could breathe. He inhaled deeply and exhaled slowly as he ran his fingers through his dark, slightly messed hair. Now if he could just find Toothless, all would be right with the world again. He let out a whistle and scanned the dark night sky for any sign of the wily dragon.

Come on Toothless," he called out impatiently, "I need this flight more than you right now."

"Leaving already," a familiar feminine voice called out, stilling him in his tracks. Hiccup's heart froze for a moment. He sighed heavily as he turned to face her. The woman he had tried to avoid all night stood before him, with her arms wrapped tightly around herself in an attempt for warmth. She smiled at him slightly, but he could see the disappointment in her eyes.

"We've been friends a long time Hiccup," she went on, "and you're just gonna leave without so much as a goodbye, or even a congratulations."

"I did congratulate you," Hiccup replied in aggravation, "didn't you hear the speech and the toast, I mean, for crying out loud Astrid, what more do you want from me?" She walked up to him slowly, her smile gradually fading.

"I just want my friend to be happy for me," she replied.

"I am happy for you," Hiccup replied as he turned his eyes back to the horizon, "I'm happy you found what you wanted." She knew his sarcastic tone like the back of her hand. One of the things that aggravated her the most about Hiccup was his practical inability to say how he felt without his words dripping with sarcasm.

"Don't be like that Hiccup," she sighed.

"Like what," Hiccup snapped as he quickly turned back to face her, "why are you even here Astrid and not in there with your new husband? I mean what more do you want me to do, I showed up didn't I? What is...is that not enough? Do you want me to wallow in your happiness, is that it? Do you want to just rub it in my face so that I never forget how blissfully happy you are?"

"You are impossible, you know that," Astrid groaned, "do you really think that little of me? You think I would get married just to spite you? You know, the last time I checked the world didn't revolve around you!" Hiccup crossed his arms over his chest and glowered at her.

"Just forget it," she huffed as she quickly turned to walk away but she paused. She turned back to him with a scowl on her face.

"You know what Hiccup," she said firmly, "I did find what I wanted, and I'm not sorry! I am so tired of thinking about how my happiness affects you!"

"Then don't," Hiccup replied flatly, "what I do or don't do or how I feel shouldn't matter to you if you've moved on...which clearly you have!" Astrid shook her head and sighed as she gazed up at Hiccup.

"Look," she replied more calmly, "I know that there is nothing I can say or do to make you feel any differently than you do right now, but I do still care."

"Why," Hiccup questioned.

"Because," she replied, "you're one of my best friends and I will always care about you." Hiccup just gazed at her wordlessly.

"I mean, yeah we tried to be more once," she went on, "it didn't work out and that's okay. There is nothing you could have done differently that would have changed the outcome."

"I know that," Hiccup replied.

"Then why are you still beating yourself up about it," Astrid questioned. Hiccup sighed as he turned away from her and gazed out at the horizon once again. He silently pondered her words. Her words had struck a nerve within his heart. Maybe it was true, after two years of being apart; two years of telling himself and everyone around him that he was over her, maybe the reason he felt so hurt by her moving on was because he was still punishing himself for loosing her. Maybe he was punishing himself for not feeling what he should have felt; for not loving her the way she deserved. Now seeing her so happy without him only made his guilt that much worse.

"I worry about you Hiccup," she went on, "whether you want me to or not. As your second in command and as your friend. I just want you to find whatever it is that you're searching for. I just want you to be happy." Hiccup turned back and gazed at her remorsefully.

"Look Astrid," Hiccup sighed, "I'm sorry, I just..." Astrid just shook her head.

"You don't need to apologize," Astrid replied, "I mean, honestly, this is how it all was meant to be, Hiccup. I found where I belong, now it's your turn."

"Thanks Astrid," he replied. She nodded to him in response.

"Hey, just for the record," Hiccup replied, "I really am happy for you." Astrid smiled appreciatively.

"Honestly," Hiccup sighed, "you are the happiest I've ever seen you. Which is really saying something because in all the years I've known you, you've kinda had a little bit of an anger issue."

"Shut-up," she said as she punched him in the arm.

"Ouch, hey," Hiccup chuckled as he rubbed his arm, "and apparently you're also prone to completely unprovoked bouts of physical violence!"

"Unprovoked," she mocked with a smirk on her face. They both chuckled at their usual banter. As their laughter subsided they fell into a moment of semi-comfortable silence.

"Well," Astrid sighed, "I better get back. She glanced over her shoulder toward the great hall and then turned back to Hiccup. She smiled slightly.

"It looks like your ride is here," she pointed to the sky behind him. Hiccup turned back to see Toothless headed in their direction. He turned back to Astrid and smiled warmly.

"Congratulations Astrid," he said in a soft, genuine tone, "I mean it."

"Thanks Hiccup," she replied, "now get outta here."

Toothless landed with a thud. Hiccup turned to his old friend.

"Hey bud," Hiccup greeted as he patted the dragon on the snout, "you wanna go for a ride?" The dragon snorted happily and smiled at Hiccup with his signature toothless grin. He bent down to let his rider on his back. Hiccup mounted the dragon quickly and took the reigns. He smiled once again at Astrid.

"See ya Astrid," he said with a smirk.

"See ya Chief," she replied.

"Let's go Toothless," Hiccup commanded. The jet black dragon opened his wings and leapt into the starry night sky.