1.
"Rob, duck!" Wally yelled, diving behind an innocent vehicle as an explosion rocked the building. He gasped as a heat wave rippled across the floor, sizzling across the outer layer of his suit as it rolled around the edges of the van he'd dodged behind.
Where were they? In a parking garage. Where was the parking garage? Somewhere in North America. Wally may have zoned out briefly during the mission briefing.
The point was, they had been sent to investigate a disturbance at the edge of some city or other because somehow all members of the League were occupied. Not that Wally inherently minded. It was a great chance to stretch his legs.
But back on topic. Long story short, they'd encountered a wild, buff teenager with a stolen extreme flame thrower, laughing maniacally as he blasted nearby buildings, trees, and taxi cabs indiscriminately.
And that's how he and Rob ended up playing a twisted game of peek-a-boo with a psychopath in the middle of a full parking garage. They had also somehow ended up on the top level. No, Wally wasn't sure how.
Oh, and he may have hit his head in his haste to get out of the bioship before the secondary hatch opened. Maybe he could blame that for his current partial memory loss...
"You can't defeat me!" the maniac cackled, a fresh wave of flames licking up the purple paint of Wally's van-shield. "I am Fire! I am Death!"
"Which one?" hollered a familiar voice across the aisle. Robin became visible, standing on the hood of a red truck. He smirked at the bad guy. "And hasn't that line been taken?"
The Boy Wonder launched into the air just in time for the car he had been standing on to join the general inferno. He somersaulted backward, landing hands first on the pavement to perform several back handsprings as he dodged the clumsily wielded flame thrower.
Deciding it was time to rejoin the fray, Wally zipped out from his cover. "Hey, Hotman!" Wally hollered. As the villain turned, Wally stuck his fingers in his ears, waggling his tongue to a garbled: "Flameo!"
He dove to the side just in time to avoid his own fire bath, ducking behind yet another car. One good thing about cramped parking garages: There were a lot of places to hide.
"KF!" a voice hissed behind him, a hand planting itself on his shoulder.
Wally flinched, yelping in surprise at the unexpected appearance of a certain Boy Wonder. "Dude!"
"Sssshh!" Robin hissed, crouching beside him and peering around the front bumper of their current hiding place.
The lenses of the Boy Wonder's mask shifted back and forth before he ducked his head back behind the hood. "Okay, here's the plan: You distract him, I knock him out from behind."
Wally frowned in what was definitely not a pout. "Why am I the distraction?"
Robin raised an eyebrow. "Because you're loud, annoying, and tend to rub the bad guys up the wrong way."
Wally considered this. "Fair enough. But hey, you—" He turned to find his best friend was already gone. Typical.
Rolling his eyes, Wally did a quick scan of his surroundings. Okay. Distraction. Right in his wheelhouse. Now all he needed was something that would keep the perp's attention long enough for Rob to do his thing.
The telltale screech of sirens echoed in the near-not distance, a squeal of oversized brakes echoing somewhere below. Oh yeah. That would do nicely.
Kicking the Speedforce into gear, Wally zipped outside, snatching the end of the fire house hanging off the side of the firetruck before streaking back up the side of the building to perch on the thick outer ledge of the top floor. The fire hose was now stretched taut in the open air about 50 feet from the villain's exposed back.
"Hey, Zuko wannabe!" he yelled, brandishing the hose. He gave the guy two seconds to turn around, watched his eyes widen in terror. "WATER TRIIIIBBBBEEE!"
The perp flinched, hands instinctively yet futilely coming to cover his face.
And…Wally shook the end of the hose. Not one drop. Tapped the metal part. Bone dry. "Aw, come on!"
Realizing no overpowered blast of liquid was coming, the perp dropped his hands, the glint returning to his eyes. "Ha! You thought you could defeat me? The masterful, pyrotechnical, flaming sorcerer of—"
Whatever his villain name was, Wally was saved from hearing it. A familiar cackle rent the air simultaneous with the familiar THUD of an unconscious body hitting the floor.
Robin somersaulted easily over the perp's head, popping up and planting a hand on his hip. Wally cursed the fact he'd spent enough time around Bats to recognize the single eyebrow raised under the mask.
"Really, KF?" Robin snickered. "Did you even check if it was attached to a water source?"
Wally sniffed. "Of course not, I didn't want to kill the guy! You asked for a distraction, I provided. In a nonlethal manner, with a relevant cultural reference. What more do you want from me?"
The second eyebrow joined the first. "Whatever helps you sleep at night," the bird chirped cheerfully.
The two best friends stood in the smoking parking garage, eyeing the prone form of the perp at their feet.
"Firemen probably want their hose back," Robin remarked.
"Yeah yeah, I get it," Wally grumbled.
"But in all seriousness," Robin continued, "thanks for the distraction. Definitely got the job done."
"No prob, Bob," Wally returned, raising his hand for their semi-signature, patent pending high five. "Secondary Dynamic Duo strikes again!"
Robin nodded once, stepping closer to Wally. He brought his hand back, and—punched him squarely in the shoulder.
"Black one!" he trilled, leaping back as the speedster recoiled.
"Seriously?" Wally squawked. "Where?!"
Robin pointed, and Wally could just make out the battered form of a beetle car upended on the other end of the floor. He sagged in defeat. "Aw, man." Squinted… "Dude. I think it's green."
Robin shrugged. "How was I supposed to know? It's burned and blackened. Still counts."
Wally groaned. "I hate you so much."