Original Posted On Mar. 30, 2024
Beta Read by: Crowfeast, Darlord331
Review Responses:
MichaelTheFox: I have plans for that. LOL, I see what you did there… 'stay tuned'.
Nathair1: Valentino is angry Naruto's video's are doing better than all of the one's he created. So, Naruto is like a competitor, even if ONE video was posted by Kiba and the other by Ozzie. Yes, Velvette is causing trouble. Because it was delicious. We will see what Riser completed.
ShadowBloodedge9396: Yeah, it's why I had Alastor do it. His point is Naruto's enemies could and would target his family, so it would be better to keep them safe. We shall see what Riser has Cooked.
MEATBICYCLE: I WISH you had an account because I could have used your help with this chapter. I know, I KNOW I failed, but I still did my best. Yes, No Rest for the Wicked… which is ALL of the denizens of Hell.
Bednarczykmiki: Yes and No. They hate Naruto, but won't go after him quite yet.
Fenris Silverblood: Why 'Fuck Alastor'? He is just trying to help Naruto.
StarDustDragonknight: Clopper?
StrongGuy159: I might not do it. I have a history of starting ideas given to me and then fucking them up.
Animecollecter: I talked to him, and we have a few ideas for a crossover.
Gamelover41592: Naruto is lucky for having a loving family he can talk to.
Jebest4781: In a sense, he could be forced. But can you force a contract?
DireWolf1412: … Maybe.
Exia Zero: The Family would MURDER Adam if he thought about hurting the baby.
Tank115: Training alone won't help him protect everyone.
Kigen No KitsuneOokami: Extended Edition or NOTHING!
Dktv9: Sometimes you can't control everything, so it slips.
DaftMerc39: Alastor mind fucked Naruto, thus to regain semblance of control and normality, he made the milkshakes. Yeah, now they know, Kurama The Madam is NOT someone they can take lightly. She is Dangerous with a capital D. MLP to Andy?
Nicholas: Not A favor… MANY favors. Yeah, Naruto is indebted to him for saving Naruto and Loona.
Reggad the Knife: LOL, DO IT, TELL ME WHAT HAPPENS!
MisterWriter1994: Naruto really should ask Bee for advice.
S S Shadow: I do believe Hellborns have souls because Charlie said 'Alastor, you want my soul?" in Hazbin Hotel before they went to Cannibal Town in episode 7. If they didn't, then why would Charlie say this? Yes, I could have Naruto take the souls of his friends.
Ice: Interesting.
OKAY, LETS READ THIS SHIT! I DON'T OWN NARUTO OR HELLUVA BOSS!
"Hey" = Speaking
'Hey' = Thinking
'Hey' = Memory
"Hey" = To be Determined
Chapter 94: Rolling Snake Eyes
"The dungeon is cold and mirky, but our gallant Warrior, Menma traverses forward without fear."
Menma looked into the corridor, feeling unnerved by its simple cobblestone design.
Light vegetation and moisture clung to the walls as dim flame lamps illuminating the corridor.
"I don't think it is gonna be this simple." Menma mumbled as he looked behind him to his party.
Behind the Warrior was his three teammates.
Phoxea, the Druid.
Sol, the Barbarian.
Ophaen, the Cleric.
"Can you see any traps?" Menma asked Veronica.
Phoxea looked down the corridor, squinting as she used her magic to fill her eyes.
"No, we're good." Phoxea said as she started to walk through the corridor…
Only for her foot to sink into a step trap.
"Oh, shi…"
Out of Game…
"DAMN IT!" Verosika (AKA Phoxea) shouted as she glared at her dice.
Her D20 was a Natural 1.
Meaning, she failed.
"Wow, your FIRST dice roll, and you got a Nat One." Riser said as he looked at the die from behind his DM screen.
Octavia (AKA Ophaen) fought to keep in a chuckle from how the succubus was reacting while Loona (AKA Sol) and Naruto (AKA Menma) put comforting hands on her shoulders.
"Damn it…" Verosika mumbled as she took fire damage.
In Game…
Phoxea hit the ground, rolling around to put out the flame as the trap ended.
"You gotta be more careful." Ophaen said as she handed Phoxea a potion.
Phoxea growled as Menma and Sol continued forward, weapons drawn.
The group of four continued through the corridor, doing their best to avoid traps.
Rounding the corner, Menma held out his arm as he backed up.
"Goblins." He whispered.
Ophaen, Phoxea, and Sol moved carefully to look around the corner.
There were seven goblins.
Out of Game…
"So, will you guys pass by them, or attack?" Riser asked as he prepared the goblin stats.
The players and DM were in a room that Riser had modified into a game room.
They were playing on a DND table that had a TV screen in the center with digital figures and map, with a computer set up as a part of Riser's DM screen that allowed him to move character pieces, enemy pieces, change maps, and so on.
"Hm… who here has long range attacks?" Octavia asked as she fidgeted with her borrowed dice. "I have my crossbow."
"I have my sword." Naruto said as he looked over his spell sheet. "I also have Acid Splash that goes sixty feet…"
Naruto looked at the board, counting the squares, each one being worth 5 feet.
"Damn, they are roughly eighty…" Naruto grumbled.
"Why don't I just run forward, I am the barbarian…" Loona pointed out. "I can use my rage and cause a distraction."
"Hmm…"
Riser chuckled, the goblin stats all ready.
"Okay, everyone, roll initiative." Riser told everyone.
Octavia, Naruto, Loona, and Verosika rolled initiative.
In Game…
Sol gave a mighty roar before charging forward.
The goblins were not deterred by this act of intimidation as they armed themselves with primitive clubs.
Sol brought her great axe down… and gashed the first one across the chest.
The goblin hollered in pain as its brethren swarmed Sol.
Three of them attacked, dealing blunt damage on Sol, who took small amounts of damage, her mild rage numbing her sense of pain.
However, the forth one went to attack, and brought Sol to a knee by taking a swing at her leg.
"SOL!" Ophaen screamed as she took aim with her cross bow.
The crossbow bolt found itself lodged into the fourth goblin's shoulder, staggering it.
The fifth and sixth goblin's turned to see the rest of the party, and ran toward them.
Only to squeal when Menma's blade nearly killed them.
As this was happening, Phoxea activated their Wild Shape, taking the form of a giant wolf.
Sprinting forward, Phoxea pounced the sixth goblin, taking a bite out of its throat, killing it.
The seventh goblin ran up and clubbed Phoxea.
"PHOXEA!" Menma screamed as he pushed back against the goblin he was fighting.
Sol growled as she released her RAGE!
A malicious aura surrounded her body as she grabbed one goblin by the throat and embedded her axe into the stomach of a second.
However, due to her blind fury, Sol took several attacks by the surrounding goblins as the one she held in her grasp struggled to escape it.
Ophaen reloaded her crossbow, and took aim… shooting Menma in the leg.
"FUCKING HELL!" Menma screamed as he collapsed.
Out of Game…
Octavia shook as she looked at her Natural 1 roll.
"I'm sorry…" She stammered as Naruto facepalmed.
"I'm not mad… just…" Naruto inhaled as he subtracted some health.
"The goblins don't give up, as the two you and Phoxea are battling attack the both of you." Riser said as he brought everyone's attention back to the game.
In Game…
Menma took several club attacks, some bouncing off his armor, but they rattled his armor to the point it dealt damage.
Ignoring his own wellbeing, Menma stabbed his sword into the goblin that was pinned under Phoxia.
Phoxia then headbutted the goblin who was hitting Menma.
"Don't fucking shoot me again!" Menma shouted as he pulled the arrow out of his leg… which hurt like a bitch.
Sol slammed the goblin she was holding into the ground, breaking its back and crushing its throat as she took more damage from the surrounding two goblins.
However, a crossbolt killed one via head shot.
Menma roared as he bisected the last goblin.
Ophaen sighed as she lowered her crossbow, walking up to all of the crossbolts she had used and put them in her quiver.
"Alright, who needs healing?" She asked as Phoxia returned to her original form while Sol calmed down from her Rage.
The three collapsed.
"Me…" all three weakly said in unison.
"Our heroes heal, and then continue their way down the dungeon."
Phoxea led the group, using her Find Trap ability, this time using some tools to prematurely set off traps or test where she believed traps to be.
Doing much better than earlier.
Phoxea paused her movement as she heard something.
She turned slightly, making a 'Sh' motion as they snuck forward toward the next turn, looking around the corner.
"Suddenly, you stumble upon an Orc Orgy. They are five orcs, each one raping a human woman, thrusting their big, oversized penises into the human woman's vaginas, tearing them open, and making it where they could never be pleased by a man…"
"RISER!"
Out of Game…
"What?" Riser asked as Naruto had interrupted him.
"Dude…" Naruto said with an 'Are you serious look along with a 'You are going to far' expression.
Looking at Loona, Verosika, and Octavia, Riser realized he had gone to far.
Octavia looked uncomfortable.
Loona was put off.
Verosika… was interested with a 'Go on' look.
A sense of shame and embarrassment washed over Riser as he hid behind his DM screen.
In Game…
"Oh, this is barbaric…" Phoxea said, glancing at Sol, who had quirked an eyebrow. "No offense."
Sol shrugged.
"Alright, same as before?" Ophaen asked as she reached for her crossbow.
"No, how about we try a better approach." Phoxea recommended, looking around the room.
She saw a bushel of thorned plants on the wall.
She smirked.
Out of Game…
"I cast Thorn Whip." Verosika said as she tossed her D20.
Riser watched the die roll before it landed on a 17.
"It hits." Riser said, making Verosika pump her fist in excitement.
In Game…
The thorned bush mutated into a LONG tendril, and whipped around the room, striking the closest orc across the back, digging into the thick hide of the orc.
It howled in pain as it stopped its actions to look around as its four companions joined him, all five dropping their woman and looking around.
Ophaen took aim with her crossbow as Phoxea, Menma, and Sol prepared to attack.
The first crossbolt embedded itself into one of the orcs, barely damaging it, the thick hide stopping the crossbolt's penetration.
With a war cry, Menma and Sol jumped into the fray.
One Orc got its skull caved in by a single strike from Sol's great axe as Menma stabbed the orc in its stomach, only for its thick skin and flabby body to stop the penetration, earning a strike across the face, knocking him to the ground.
One orc made his way toward Phoxea and Ophaen.
Ophaen used her crossbow… only to miss, her crossbolt hitting the wall.
"SHIT!" Ophaen exclaimed as another orc went toward them.
Phoxea smirked as she whipped her arms around, the Thorn whip she had created wrapping around the orc's leg.
It pulled back, trying to trip the orc, only for it to only cause small cuts, causing little damage.
"WHAT?"
Out of Game…
"Your roll didn't pass it's AC by much, and your damage roll was only 3 points." Riser explained in a matter-of-fact way.
Verosika pouted.
"Next time." Loona said as she grabbed her dice. "I wanna kill the one who punched Menma…"
In Game…
Sol pivoted, spinning to embed her great axe into the Orc's stomach… only for her to slip and miss completely.
One of Game…
"Natural One." Loona growled, knowing her attack failed completely.
In Game…
"You are prone, all enemies have advantage."
The orc closest to Sol pounced on her, a lustful gaze in its eyes as it landed on her.
Menma's foot planted itself on the orc's face, smashing its nose, but not getting it off of Sol.
"FUCK!" Menma grunted as his leg ached from kicking the head.
His pain was then amplified when the orc grabbed Menma and flung him across the room.
As Menma became a human boomerang, Phoxea reused Thorn Whip, this time, strangling the first charging orc to death.
Ophaen couldn't reload her crossbow in time as the Orc thrust its club forward, nearly crushing her ribs as it knocked the wind out of her.
"OPHAEN!"
Phoxae drew her scimitar as the orc turned its attention to her.
Sol, sick of smelling the orc's disgusting breath, growled as her malicious aura returned, entering her rage state.
Out of Game…
"I roll with advantage." Loona said, grabbing Naruto's D20.
"Remember, for now, enemies will have Advantage on you." Riser reminded Loona as she rolled, earning a nod of understanding.
In Game…
Sol pushed the orc off of her, getting up and out of her prone state, her Rage empowering her as she orc stood up.
Menma hit the ground, rolling a few times before he stopped, being completely prone.
Ophaen gasped for air as she held her torso, crossbow next to her as the orc attacked Phoxea.
She got up, and held out her hands.
"SACRED FLAME!" She shouted, a flame-like radiance shooting out of her palms and striking the orc in the back, making it stumble.
Phoxea took advantage and struck the orc's neck.
Blood sprayed out of the orc's throat as it slumped to the ground.
The final orc clashed with Sol, who had discarded her axe for unarmed combat, punching the living shit out of each other in a war of attrition.
However, it saw it was outnumbered.
It disengaged Sol, and tried to flee… until Phoxea's Thorn Whip lashed out and severed its carotid artery.
Out of Game…
Naruto, Loona, Verosika, and Octavia sighed in relief.
"We really have four more floors of this?" Octavia asked as she opened her water bottle, taking a sip.
"Yep, I told you, this dungeon crawler is not going to be 'Super' easy." Riser replied to his fiancé, standing up. "We've been playing for an hour, let's take a ten-minute break… anyone up for pizza?"
"Sure, what pizza do you guys want?" Naruto asked as he pulled out his phone. "I want Mombo's or Pizza Guys."
"Those are Human World Pizzas…" Riser mumbled.
"And?" Naruto asked with a sly smirk as he prepared to order online. "So, Mombo's or Pizza Guys?"
"Mombo's."
"Pizza Guys."
"Pizza Guys."
"Mombo's."
It was tied.
"Hm… I guess Pizza Guys has a lot of side options." Naruto said as he pulled up the menu, passing his phone around, allowing his friends to pick any side and pizza.
Riser smiled as he listened to his friends pick their food.
'This… this is amazing…' He thought as he felt his heart race. 'I always wanted THIS!'
A simple gathering of friends, playing games, eating junk food, and having fun was a desire Riser had fostered for years.
Now, he had achieved it.
And it was a beautiful and amazing thing.
It nearly brought Riser to tears.
"Riser, what do you want?" Naruto asked as he pushed his phone into Riser's face.
"Oh, uh, let me see." Riser said as he took Naruto's phone, looking through the menu.
Meanwhile…
Stolas sighed as he and Blitz separated from their climax.
'It is quite nice to fuck without needing to worry about Stella finding us.' Stolas thought as Blitz lit a cigar, smoking after sex.
"How'd you get Octavia out of the house?" Blitz asked, having noticed that Stolas's daughter was absent.
"She is with Riser, playing a game." Stolas explained as he pulled the imp into his embrace.
"Hm, I wonder what game." Blitz said in a shit-eating-grin tone.
Stolas quirked an eyebrow.
"What are you implying, Blitzy?" Stolas asked as he pushed Blitz into the bed, his hands pinning the imp.
Blitz now had the Shit-Eating-Grin.
"You know~" he said with a throat growl.
Skip…
After placing the order, with Naruto and Verosika going to the human world for pick up, the group was once again playing their Dungeon Crawler as they ate their pizza and drank their soda.
In Game…
"Alright, you guys ready?" Menma asked as he sheathed his sword, ready to continue.
"Sure…" Phoxea said as she stood up, helping Ophean stand.
Sol rolled her eyes.
"Took you long enough." She said as she was ready to go since the fight ended.
BUT NOOOOOO… her teammates NEEDED to rest after that fight.
"Don't need to be like that, you know." Ophean grumbled.
Sol grunted in irritation as they continued their journey.
They walked a few minutes…
"Hey, guys…" Menma said as he touched the wall. "I can't see…"
"I can." Sol stated, being a Tiefling.
"Me too." Ophaen added, being a Half-Elf.
"What is the problem?" Phoxea replied, being a Dwarf.
All species with Darkvision while Menma, who was Human, did not.
Out of Game…
Octavia, Loona, Verosika, and Riser laughed at various levels at Naruto for choosing the Human pre-generated character who didn't have Darkvision.
"Yeah, yeah, fuck you guys." Naruto grumbled while shoving pizza into his mouth as he looked at Riser, who was biting his lip to not laugh, but failing to stop his smirk. "Can I see anything that can be used as a torch?"
In Game…
Menma used Phoxea's flint and steel to light a nearby lamp that had died.
Once it was lit, Menma removed it from its placement on the wall.
"Guess I'll use this as a torch." He mumbled.
"You do know this will give away our location to monsters, right?" Sol told Menma, who rolled her eyes as he walked down the spiral staircase.
"The party continues down the spiral staircase, with the darkness slowly dissipating as blue-hue light began to illuminate the area."
"You think we are descending into the second level?" Ophean asked as she noticed a difference in architecture.
Everything began to seem more Greek in theme, with pillars and dish lamps hanging from the ceiling.
Out of Game…
"Hold on…" Naruto said as he stood up. "I got to go to the bathroom…"
"Down the hall on the left of the Phoenix statue…" Naruto heard Riser call out as he shuffled out.
His stomach was not happy, a combo of mountain dew and greasy pizza and garlic bacon knots upsetting it.
And if he didn't find the toilet, there'd be a brown crime.
Naruto turned to his left as he got out of the room, seeing Phoenix statues.
Naruto turned to his right… and saw more Phoenix statues.
'Which 'down the hall' direction!' Naruto thought as he looked right and left.
Making a decision, Naruto checked all the doors, the pressure in his bladder now intensified as he was ready to piss himself.
'BATHROOM, BATHROOM, BATHROOM!' he chanted as he began to sweat and shake as he continued his search for the restroom.
Opening the last door, he sighed in relief as he saw the bathroom.
Dropping trou as he shut the door, Naruto barely didn't make it.
As his body did its job, Naruto pulled out his phone, deciding to check his emails.
Meanwhile, Dry Fuck Studios...
Andy happily drank from her bottle, Millie gushing as her granddaughter guzzled her meal.
"She is so pretty." Millie said as Moxxie sat across from her, taking a picture of his wife and grandchild.
"Yeah… you think Andy will look more like her dad… or her mother?" Moxxie asked as Millie pulled the bottle away from Andy's mouth, moving to burp her.
"I don't know, but I know Blitz would want her to look like Loona." Millie said as she rocked Andy as she gently tapped her back.
Moxxie chuckled in irritation, happy that Blitz was currently with Stolas to let them have time with Andromeda without his insane antics.
Andromeda made a discomfort sound, signing to her grandparents that her tummy was upset.
Thankfully, Millie's actions allowed her to burp, saliva dripping down her tiny chin and lips.
Moxxie grabbed a tissue and dabbed her lips.
The tissue tickled Andromeda's nose, making her eyes squint as she made the sounds and actions of preparing to sneeze… only to yawn and shake it off.
"Aw, that would have been cute…" Millie said in sadness.
Andromeda suddenly sneezed… and wings popped out of her back as her tiny tail lost its fur as scales took form while becoming a snake at the same time small horns protruded from her head.
"…AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" the Imps screamed in panic as Andromeda pointed and laughed at them.
Chapter 94, DONE!
…. The fuck happened to Andy?
I know, can you take a guess?
So, I WAS going to do two-three chapters of a Dungeon Crawler, inspired by my own DND experiences and because Delicious in Dungeon is awesome, hard recommend, BUT… decided to keep it to this one chapter because I feel like 1, it would get old, 2, certain readers might not like it, and 3, going back and forth between in/out of game would probably drive me insane. But, if this is liked, I might do it again. All depends on you guys.
HAPPY EASTER!
Enjoy the deviantart if you haven't already!
If you enjoyed the chapter please leave a review, even if you hated it because it helps me become a better author.