AUTHOR'S NOTE: Greetings. I can't seem to obtain a readership for this story. I'm not sure what to do. I'm really enjoying the story, and if I'm honest then I am probably enjoying it more than any of my others. I really want to write it for myself, but I'm almost writing in silence as I can't seem to draw many Chucksters in.

Who Dares Wins

Chapter Four: Moral Conscience

Thursday, 11 October, 2007

This is BBC Radio One coming to you live from London in where the city and country are in a day of mourning after the devastating terrorist attack that occurred in the capital less than twelve hours ago. The attack has left many dozens dead, and hundreds injured as the terrorist attack ended in spectacular fashion as British Special Forces shot dead five armed terrorists on London Bridge. Whilst a second crack SAS team simultaneously stormed a secondary location at the music concert in Hackney and shot dead all three terrorists in that location in seconds in a clean and aggressive operation to bring about an end to the situation. And in the last few moments, the Prime Minister has just made a statement outside 10 Downing Street and has praised the actions and the resolve of both the Metropolitan Police who had earlier stormed the Westfield London shopping centre, and the SAS in bringing all three situations to a conclusion. We will have much more, and we will be running live with this story throughout the entire day…

Chuck moved his hand to turn off the radio inside one of the transport vehicles that the team were using to return Mobility troop back to their base in Hereford after a successful operation. To Chuck and to the rest of his teammates, it didn't feel like a successful operation, though. The brutal and cowardly attacks on unarmed civilians have left dozens of his countrymen dead. And right now, Chuck felt like puking his guts out. If he weren't so seasoned, then he likely would, as he did the first few times of him taking a life in the army. After the AW109s had dropped off Mobility troop last night, they immediately returned to Hereford in preparation to transport Mountain troop to any further situations that may have arisen. Thankfully, if you could call it that, no further attacks occurred after the attack that Chuck and his team had confronted when they shot dead the terrorists on London Bridge. Several police vehicles quickly arrived for the SAS to use at their disposal to transport them around London to any further attack that may have occurred. Chuck and his team had remained mobile throughout the capital for the entire night in the hunt for any additional terrorist attack, and only within the past hour had they been stood down from immediate action after almost twelve long hours. After being stood down, command back at Hereford subsequently ordered Chuck and the rest of his team to return to Hereford. And, in addition, Hereford had also recalled Air and Boat troops of G Squadron back from their training exercises. Captain Wallace had also apprised Chuck and the rest of the team that the Regimental CO of 22 SAS was even contemplating calling in another squadron entirely that was presently conducting training exercises in preparation for its upcoming deployment to Iraq.

Now in silence with Sarah, Cole and Dan in the car, Chuck continued driving one of the transport vehicles provided, and he glanced at Sarah next to him briefly. Chuck was immensely proud of how Sarah handled herself throughout the night. Sarah had quite possibly saved several dozen lives in spotting the female suicide bomber that Bryce had let pass after having believed her sad, soppy story of not being able to find her child. As soon as they were back on base, Chuck and his team would be having some strong words with Bryce, that's for sure. And who knows what his Commanding Officers may do. Chuck would not be at all surprised if his Commanding Officers outright returned Bryce to his unit. Chuck was certain that the only reason his teammate didn't properly vet and scrutinise that terrorist is because she was an attractive female not wearing a hijab, and she probably gave him a seductive smile. His other new teammate seemed to be that kind of guy. Bryce Larkin appeared to be very flashy and confident of himself, and he seemed to be the type of guy that threw himself at any female wanting to open her legs to him. Chuck had seen many assholes like that during his eight years in the army, that's for sure.

"Stop the car,"

Chuck turned to his left to glance at Sarah, the intruder of the outburst, and the breaker of the brief silence. His eyes started to narrow as he queried her words.

"Chuck, stop the car right now! I'm going to be sick!" she commanded more urgently.

Chuck immediately smirked. Thankfully for Sarah, there was a service station nearby, so he turned off from the motorway, and he pulled the unmarked police SUV to a halt.

Chuck then watched on as his new teammate yanked the front passenger door open, and he watched as Sarah began to puke her guts out. The actions of his new comrade were exactly the same as he and so many before him had done after a substantial firefight and intensive operation for his first year in the Regiment.

He adjusted himself to turn and look behind him briefly, as Cole and Big Dan were both in the back of the SUV, and they were both chuckling approvingly.

"It's delayed shock and adrenalin, Sarah. It's quite normal and completely fine. We've been on intensive operations all night," Chuck said in an attempt at reassurance to help ease his troubled teammate.

"Yeah, you'll be fine. A couple of pints and a nice juicy steak later on will sort you out," Big Dan joked.

His chosen words immediately caused Sarah to vomit once more. On Sarah vomiting again, Cole and Dan began to laugh sadistically. While Chuck started to shake his head with a slight smirk as he sighed at his friends' humour towards their new teammate.

"Thanks for that!" Sarah stated sarcastically from where she was hanging out of the vehicle.

"I'm just trying to help. It's better out than in," Big Dan joked causing Cole and Chuck to laugh as Chuck continued to shake his head.

Chuck then waited patiently until Sarah returned to sit inside the vehicle.

"All better?" he asked her with a smile.

"Better," she replied unconvincingly with a nod of her head.

"Jamie Hughes and John Murray still get it occasionally," Cole declared.

Chuck nodded.

"What about you?" Sarah asked as she glanced at Chuck and then at her other two teammates behind them.

Chuck smiled at Sarah. "For the first year I did. But I haven't for a while now. After what we witnessed first hand on the ground throughout the night and everything we heard prior, I feel like I could throw my guts up right now. But I'm too seasoned for that to happen any more," he admitted.

Cole quickly interjected. "Same here. It's hard to block out everything you see in mass casualty situations like that. But there's nothing we can do about it. We went in there, got the job done, and sent the bastards to hell."

"I felt so helpless seeing all those bodies as we advanced to confront the terrorists," Sarah confided in her teammates, rotating her glance between the three of them in the vehicle.

"Sarah, you weren't helpless. You took out one, quite possibly two of the fuckers. You saved many lives," Chuck said in his continued attempt at reassurance, and he began to fill up with pride to have Sarah as his new teammate. Once they got back on base, Chuck was sure that nobody on their base would forget what Sarah had done on that operation for quite some time and if they did, then they would answer to him because Chuck would now have Sarah's back and he was one thousand percent certain that his other teammates would now do the same. Sarah was a hero last night.

"Yeah. I'm fucking proud to have you on my team," Big Dan said endearingly, and Chuck nodded as the four teammates continued to engage in friendly conversation.

"I fully concur with what my two mates have just said. You were outstanding all night, and you should be proud of yourself," Cole said, and Chuck and Dan nodded.

"Thanks, but I don't feel proud right now. Is it always this bad?" Sarah asked as she glanced at her three teammates.

Chuck shook his head, gazing softly at Sarah. "It gets easier in time..."

-O-o-O-o-O-o-O-

Stirling Lines

Hereford

United Kingdom

Mobility troop were inside of the situation room on their base, and they were being debriefed after their operation in London by their troop leader Captain Wallace and the Regimental CO, Colonel Wood. Blue Team had just finished the debriefing of their successful operation in which they breached into the music venue in Hackney and shot dead three terrorists to rescue several hundred people that had been held hostage at the venue. It was now Red Team's turn for their debriefing.

"Outstanding job gentlemen and lady," Colonel Wood joked which caused laughter in the entire situation room.

Chuck glanced at Sarah, and he watched her also begin to laugh at the CO's humour.

"I can't say just gentlemen any more, but by god, I couldn't be any prouder. If other females are as good as you, Sarah, then I hope many more apply for selection!"

"Hear, hear!" Chuck said as he led the praise for his new teammate and the situation room suddenly became loud as the rest of the troop voiced their agreement. He then looked all around the large gathering in the situation room, and the entire room had a look of respect for the actions of their comrade during the terrorist attack.

Sarah nodded at the CO, and Chuck noted as she appeared to be very tired and quite distressed almost as if something was eating at her. He made an instant mental note to check on his new teammate's mental wellbeing at some point today.

The CO continued, "Both the coroner and the metropolitan police are happy with the reasonable force used to subjugate the terrorist threat. You will not be needed for any questioning as there won't be any kind of investigation," he paused to allow the information to register with the soldiers. "I have decided to remove Mobility troop from immediate standby for the next three days to allow you to recover from the operation. Both air and boat troops have been placed on immediate standby alongside mountain troop and will remain as such until we know what we are dealing with."

"Just what are we dealing with, boss?" Staff Sergeant MacDonald asked as Chuck, and the rest of the troop nodded in agreement with the SSgt's question.

"It's looking from initial investigations that the group were an Al-Qaeda cell. I would be surprised if we have the whole cell. Usually, the bomb maker is left behind, and we'll be very much hunting out that gentleman in the coming days to have a nice little chat with him," the CO said which earnt him a lot of "Too right" remarks including from Chuck himself.

"Well, it's been a long night, and I have no desire to talk for thirty minutes blabbering away nonsense to you all so go and get yourselves some rest and what a damn fine job you did out in the capital. Dismissed," the CO finished.

With the debriefing now being over, there was instant activity all around the room. Chuck immediately began to stand up from his seat, and his team started to gather when the Regimental CO suddenly spoke once more, "Trooper Larkin, remain behind if you will," the Colonel demanded.

On hearing the name of Bryce who could have gotten his team and numerous civilians killed, the entire room froze in place, including Blue Team as they all began to glance at their teammate. Bryce was undoubtedly the least popular person in the situation room right now as he was getting evil daggers and disapproving glances from the entire troop.

"Let's get out of here," Trooper Hughes said as he broke the tense moment in the situation room.

Chuck shifted his gaze along with the rest of his team away from Bryce and onto Jamie Hughes instead.

"We have a date with the canteen. I'm starving," Trooper John Murray stated.

Chuck laughed as he moved to put his arm around his best friend Cole and the team departed to the canteen together.

-O-o-O-o-O-o-O-

Sarah entered the cafeteria on her base with the rest of her team, though she didn't want to be here right now. Right now, she much felt like being alone in her own company after a gruelling mission and everything she had seen, heard and done on the ground in London throughout the night. It was unquestionably the most intense mission that Sarah had ever been on in her five years of being in the army and those included combat deployments to Afghanistan and Iraq. On entering the canteen, she glanced around the room, and it was jam-packed full of soldiers with most of G Squadron now being present after being recalled from their training exercises.

Sarah moved to queue in wait when numerous soldiers from her whole squadron including many she had not met before all took the time to come up to her to offer her praise and approval for her actions in the capital last night. If Sarah wasn't so tired and distressed, she would have happily engaged in conversation. But right now, she just wanted to be away from the limelight and to be back in her quarters to get her head around everything that had happened during the past twenty-four hours.

On collecting her food and sitting down on one of the benches with the rest of her team, they engaged in small talk whilst Sarah continued to watch the TV once more. "We have some breaking news to bring to you right now. In the last few moments, the Home Office has raised the UK threat level from Severe, its second-highest level, to Critical, which is the highest level possible. For the watchers that aren't aware, the upgrading of the threat level by the Home Office means that another terrorist attack could happen imminently. Consequently, the British government has announced that they have now drafted maximum security measures into place. The Home Secretary has requested the immediate deployment of more than 6,000 soldiers to reinforce key sites in the United Kingdom, and the Defence Secretary has approved the deployment. We will bring you more news about this major development just as soon as we get it..."

-O-o-O-o-O-o-O-

Sarah entered the barracks housing G Squadron after eating together with her team in the canteen, not that Sarah had done much eating, as she felt physically ill. They did not force you to live on base in the SAS, and you could rent or purchase your own home within the immediate area of Hereford if you so chose. Sarah planned to rent a home, but because it was just her first week, she hadn't found any time to house hunt as she had been so incredibly busy and tired with all of the training she had undergone throughout the week. Sarah planned to do some searching for somewhere to live off base in the upcoming three days that she had off before reporting back for duties once more. For the moment, Sarah's personal possessions were being looked after by her mother, Emma, and her sister, Molly.

Walking up to Room Four inside the barracks, which had her name on the door, she entered inside the small room. It contained a wardrobe to stow her gear, a bed and two cabinets. Sarah placed her helmet, her respirator and her MP5 into the wardrobe before she moved to sit on the mattress, and as she did so, she began to breathe out a long deep sigh. Sarah felt both physically and mentally ill right now, as the operation that she had just been part of hours earlier began to replay itself once more in vivid detail starting in the situation room and finishing on London Bridge.

Raising her hands to meet her face, Sarah placed her hands onto her head to cover her eyes, nose and mouth and she closed her eyes as she began to rub her hands up and down and she began to sigh into her hands.

Sarah stayed like this for a long moment, as she tried to overcome all of her thoughts racing throughout her mind and she started to experience palpitations, and she felt a rush of heat, and her skin began to feel sticky and sweaty as her mind continued to replay the female terrorist that she had killed at close range. Sarah could also see all of the casualties and fatalities all around the market that her team had walked past and left. As a combat medic, it was formerly her job to help people. But she was just one person, and she felt so helpless that so many were laying injured and dying all over the pavement and road, and she couldn't do a damned thing to help them. Even if she did help, she was just one person, and there were dozens of casualties. What stood out most from last night's events to Sarah was those two armed police officers she encountered close to their vehicle. They were both heavily armed, and the terrorists overpowered even those, so all those poor unarmed civilians were so powerless and helpless, and right at this moment, she wanted to cry deeply for every single person that had lost their lives in the terrible and dastardly attack.

Sarah stayed like this for a long moment, as she tried unsuccessfully to come to terms with everything that had happened when she was disturbed from her thoughts as she heard a knock on the door to her room. Sarah moved her hands onto her cheeks instead, and she opened her eyes as she glanced up, and her eyes connected onto her teammate Chuck, who was standing inside the doorway of her on-base accommodation.

"Are you ok?" he asked softly.

Sarah began to gaze at her teammate in a complete world of her own as the last day continued to replay in her mind over and over and over...

"I don't know. I don't know how I'm feeling, Chuck," she admitted eventually to him as she gazed distantly at him.

He began to smile sympathetically at her before he asked, "Can I sit down?"

She nodded before responding, "Sure."

Chuck moved to sit next to her on the bed in her quarters, and they entered a brief silence inside her quarters.

"This is all new to me. I don't know how to deal with it," Sarah admitted to him, breaking the pause of the two teammates.

"Sarah, I can be an excellent listener. You can talk to me and get it off your chest. Is it the woman you killed?" he asked as he gazed at her with a comforting smile.

Sarah pondered his question to her for a brief moment before she shrugged her shoulders, and she replied, "I'm not sure. Maybe."

"On your first day when I picked you up at the gate, you told me you'd not killed before. It was her or us or more civilians, Sarah," he said as held his comforting smile toward her.

She nodded. "I know. And I don't regret doing it. But how do you live with it?" she asked as she continued to gaze at Chuck with a distant stare.

"It gets easier. Sarah, after my first, I cried, and I threw up. Life in the military is everything I have ever wanted. The ancestry of my family in the British Army dates back hundreds of years, and I'm proud to serve, and it's never easy taking a life, but it's them or us. That's just the reality of it all," he said softly.

"Where was your first?" she asked him as she continued her gaze at her friendly teammate.

"Iraq. I was on patrol in the Grenadier Guards, and we ran into a contact with insurgents. It was a heated exchange, and I killed two insurgents. Just like you, I don't regret doing it, because it was them or me. I think if anybody enjoys killing, then they are psychotic but the people that the government send us to fight really do want to kill us, and it's up to us to show them that same aggression in return. But because we aren't monsters and they are, it haunts us the second we get off mission."

"What about all those innocent people, Chuck? How do you come to terms with seeing all of that carnage, bloodbath and mayhem that we saw last night?" she asked as she continued to gaze at her new teammate.

"Sarah, we can't do anything to change that. We can't take that burden onto ourselves. We can only deploy when given the order. The deaths of civilians fall onto the politicians. It's just war, and it sucks..." he paused to smile sympathetically at her, and for the first time since he arrived, she gave him a faint smile back. "Once we deployed, we quickly engaged and killed the enemy. Do I wish we didn't see the things that we do see on operations? Yes. But do I wish I wasn't there so that we didn't have to see what we saw? No, I don't. Because without us being on that bridge to help, many more would have died. So seeing all of the carnage we saw together last night was the price that we pay to save lives. It would be the same even in the police or paramedics. They feel the exact same way that you are right now. You feel helpless, but you aren't. Because without us being there, more would have died. You should be proud of what you did last night and this morning," he finished in a confident but reassuring tone.

Sarah let her teammate's words sink in with her as she began to breathe out a deep sigh as the events of her first operation in the SAS continued to completely overwhelm her.

"You know, a good way to get over it is to go out and get rotten drunk," he said with a grin.

"I'm not sure I feel like it," she admitted in a depressive tone.

"Sarah, come on. The lads are all going, and they'll take offence if you don't come," he asked pleadingly.

"I need to sleep for a week," she responded dismissively in an attempt to get out of the invitation.

"Sarah, so do I, but they're your teammates. You were only saying the other day that you didn't feel wanted and valued and speak of the devil, here they are," Chuck said, and Sarah watched on as Staff Sergeant Chris MacDonald, Trooper Jamie Hughes, Trooper John Murray, Trooper Daniel Thomas and Sergeant Cole Barker all entered into view inside of her quarters.

"Oy, oy! What are you two love birds talking about then?" Dan joked which earnt him an approving laugh from the newly arrived team except from Chuck and Sarah.

"Piss off, Dan!" Chuck said with distaste, and he gave him a distasteful look before he continued, "I was just telling Sarah about our plans for tonight. But she's hesitant to come, and she is trying her best to get out of it."

"We don't take no for an answer, Trooper," Staff Sergeant MacDonald said as her entire team moved deeper into her quarters.

Sarah's teammates started to surround her and they moved to take up positions by sitting on her bed or on her cabinets and wherever they could find a spot to sit. "Stow away your gear. Clean yourself up and change into some civvies and then let's hit the town. I can give it to you in the form of an order if you want, Trooper?" Staff Sergeant MacDonald said, and Sarah smiled in resignation, causing her entire team to look approvingly and expectantly at her.

"Well, when you put it like that, Staff, then how can I refuse?" she said in resignation, and she watched her entire team turn joyful, and most of them except the Staff Sergeant started to pat her approvingly from where they were seated.

"It's Chris to my friends," the Staff Sergeant said warmly before continuing, "and the first one is on me for an outstanding job. Seriously, I'm fucking proud to be on the same team as all of you in this room."

"Wow, the Staff must be impressed. It's not often he does that," Trooper John Murray joked causing the whole team to start laughing in camaraderie.

"Cheeky bastard!" the Staff retorted as he got Trooper Murray into a friendly endearing headlock…

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Next Chapter: The team go out on their first of many heavy drinking sessions! Because that's what soldiers love to do! And Sarah gets to know the team on a personal level. Plus, some one-to-one Chuck and Sarah conversations!

FOOTNOTES: I will make another plea for reviews. I can't stress enough how much I love to share Chuck stories with interactive readers. I love to hear your thoughts.