AN-Credit to Johnny888845 for the new cover art.
...
It was a dark, dreary night. In a place far removed from the rest of civilisation was a large, foreboding castle. Within was the castle's master as he rose from a pool of blood, his servants dressing him in his robe. He was a tall man with pale skin, pointed ears and long, dark hair. One of his many servants approached him. "Master."
"Speak." Was the vampire master's only response.
"Janitorula's presence was discovered by the humans. He has been destroyed."
The vampire master scowled at this. "No bother. The mortal responsible for this shall soon-" He then shook his head in confusion. "I'm sorry, what did you say his name was?"
"Janitorula." The servant repeated.
"Janitorula. That was his real name, like his actual vampire name?"
"No no no no. His vampire name was Balik Alistane."
The vampire master scowled in annoyance. "Why the fuck would he name himself after a famous vampire movie? Was he doing a bit?"
"I do not know, your unholiness."
"Jesus fucking Christ. From now on, no more of this clever-name bullshit. When a vampire is pretending to be a human, they can just call themselves Alan Jefferson or something like that." He turned to a couple of his other servants. "It's crazy, right? I mean, am I being an asshole? Ok, I feel like everybody in the room is looking at me like I'm the buzzkill. I'm not?" The servants shook their heads. "Good. Ok. Great." He then took a woman one of his other servants was holding onto before biting into her neck.
...
Lucy panted as she ran into the Royal Woods Cemetery. Her pet, Fangs, flying after her. "Hurry, Fangs. We're gonna be late." Lucy exclaimed.
Luckily, she wasn't too late as she made it in time to see Bertrand smack his skull gavel on his coffin shaped podium as she took her seat. "Good evening fellow members of the Morticians Club, I've called this meeting because I have...terrible news." Bertrand said solemnly. The members of the Mortician's Club began muttering in curiosity. Bertrand shook his head. "Oh, no, no, no, no, in this case the terrible news is nothing to be excited about. My father accepted a job as a lifeguard on the S.S. Fun Times Party Cruise." Boris then played a tune on his keyboard. "And since I can not legally separate from them..." Boris played another tune. "I must move with my suntanned family." Boris played another tune to finish off the grave announcement. The rest of the Mortician's Club muttered to themselves again as they took in this sad news. "Thank you dear friends, but please, dwell not on my misfortune, instead let us focus on more important matters." There was a brief moment of silence. Bertrand cleared his throat while giving Boris an annoyed look. Upon noticing this, Boris played another tune. "Try and keep up Boris." He turned his attention back to the rest of the club. "More important matters like...who will replace me as president?"
The rest of the club let out verbal gasps. Though a confident smile then appeared on Lucy's face. She was certain that if anyone was next in line to be President, it would be her.
"I have however already chosen my successor." Bertrand stated. "I really think she's earned it, so please welcome our new president..." Lucy stood up though it appeared that her celebration was somewhat premature. "Haiku." Haiku couldn't help but squeal in excitement as she stood up and went over to the podium. Bertrand offered her his gavel. "Haiku, do you accept?"
Haiku took the gavel. "So unexpected, but an honor to bang the, skeleton gavel. That was a haiku I just wrote." She then banged the gavel on the podium.
Bertrand gave Boris another annoyed look. "Boris." Boris played another tune while Lucy stared off in disappointment.
...
Upon coming home, Lucy would find herself pacing back and forth in the living room while Lincoln was sat on the couch. "It's not right that Bertrand picked Haiku to be president over me, I've been working on this kind of stuff all my life!" She vented to her brother.
"Yeah, you have been planning funerals since you were two, it is unfair." Lincoln stood up in indignation.
"Exactly, thank you."
"I think you should stick up for yourself, tomorrow morning tell Bertrand that you're interested in the job too, he might listen."
Lucy smiled. "Alright, I'll do it."
...
The next day, Lucy found the rest of the club in the schoolyard as Boris was lying on the ground while Bertrand was drawing a chalk outline around him. Upon finishing, the rest of the club clapped politely at the results. Lucy approached them. "Gloomy morning everyone, I have an announcement... I've thought it over and, I too, would like to be considered for president." She announced, surprisingly the group. "I think I'd do a great job, after all; who stays late to make sure the dissecting forceps are put away? And who thought of our group motto; Keep Calm, and Embalm? And who carried our team in the grave digging competition?"
The club members all had to agree with these points. "You did." Haiku conceded.
"You dug an eight footer." Dante remarked.
"Yes, Lucy. You've made a good case for yourself." Bertrand held his chin in thought. "How about this? After school, the club will meet, and we shall put it to a vote." Haiku let out a small gasp at this while Lucy smiled in satisfaction.
...
Lucy opened up her locker which had its own mini lounge for Fangs to rest in. "If I can get most of the club to vote for me, I can win this thing. I better do some campaigning. Have a nice sleep, Fangs." She closed her locker. She then noticed Rocky sorting out his locker nearby. She quickly approached him. "Hey, Rocky."
"Hey, Lucy." Rocky responded, showing no fear in the slightest, not even turning to face her. "What's up?"
"I probably don't need to ask but you're gonna vote for me, right?"
Rocky turned and gave her an odd look. "Sure, but how come being President is so important to you?"
"I just...feel like I'm the most qualified. I've had a lot of experience with funerals and the like."
Rocky shrugged though he wondered if there was more to it. "If you say so."
...
Lucy was currently hanging upside down from the monkey bars in the schoolyard as she spoke to Dante, who was also hanging from the bars. "Listen Dante, if I win the presidency, I'm planning a field trip to Casket Con."
Dante smiled at this. "Really? Tickets are so hard to get. You've got my vote." He attempted to shake Lucy's hand, only to let out a yelp as he fell to the floor. "Still got my vote."
...
Lucy and Persephone were in the bathroom as Lucy spoke to Persephone from the stalls they were each in. "So, I can guarantee we'll serve funeral potatoes at every meeting. My Dad's recipe is to die for."
As both of them exited their stalls, Persephone gave Lucy an apologetic look. "While I appreciate that, I've already decided that I'm voting for Haiku."
Lucy frowned. "Are you sure? There's nothing else I could offer you?" Persephone solemnly shook her head. "Sigh."
...
At the lunch table, Lucy was showing Morpheus some sketches of capes. "Matching capes would be nice, but, I'm still voting for Haiku." Morpheus stated. "Sorry."
"But why?" Lucy asked.
"She wrote a very beautiful haiku about my pet crow, Thorn." Morpheus held up his pet crow, who was perched on his arm as it let out a squawk.
"But writing a poem doesn't make you a great president. There's a lot more that goes into it." Lucy argued.
Thorn then squawked twice at Lucy. "Thorn is very fond of the haiku." Morpheus responded.
...
Truthfully, Lucy didn't know where Boris usually was outside of club meetings. It wasn't until after school when she found out that he was at the Royal Woods Cemetery. Alone. Normally, she wouldn't have thought twice about meeting him out here but recent discoveries made the idea of it put her just ever so slightly on edge.
When she found him though, he wasn't doing anything too odd as he was simply practicing playing on his keyboard. "If I'm elected president, I'm gonna move some club money around and buy you a new keyboard." Lucy told him.
Boris stopped playing and clasped his hands. "That would be amazing, Lucy." However, he gave her an apologetic look and shook his head. "But if you're looking for my vote, it's too late. Haiku promised that she'd take the club for a ride in her hearse."
"Oh." Was all Lucy responded with as she found herself lost in thought. It had been at the back of her mind, due to the chaos of everything that happened during the infinity balls incident and everything after.
But there's no way that Lucy was going to forget Boris was actually a vampire.
She wasn't really sure what to do with this information. Should she tell the rest of the club? It's not like Boris ever gave her a reason to distrust him before. After all, if he was ever planning to kill any of them, now would be a perfect opportunity for him to attack her. Still though...
"Is there anything else I can help you with?" Boris asked as he realised Lucy was now just staring at him.
Lucy shook her head. "You know Haiku's hearse is just her parent's station wagon painted black, right?"
Boris shrugged. "Well, what can I tell you." He continued playing his keyboard as Lucy let out a huff.
...
The next day, Lincoln was at his school, taking his books out of his locker while humming a tune to himself. He closed his locker before his phone started ringing. Upon realising it was Lucy, he answered it. "Uh, hey Lucy?"
"Hey, Lincoln."
"Is this about that election?"
"Is now a bad time?"
"Nah, I can talk. So what'd Bertrand say?"
"We're going to vote tonight."
"Hey, that's great."
"No, it's not great." Lucy spat in frustration. "The votes are currently three to four in Haiku's favour and I don't know who Bertrand's going to vote for."
"Ah man, I'm sorry Lucy. At least you gave it your best shot."
Lucy shook her head. "I can't give up yet. Haiku doesn't know what's best for the club, but I do. If only I had one more vote. If it's a tie, I might at least have a chance."
"Too bad you don't have one more member who could vote for you." There was a moment of silence before Lincoln frowned as he had a feeling what he just said gave Lucy an idea. "You want me to help, don't you?"
"Mmhmm."
"And why should I help with this?"
"Please?"
There was another short moment of silence. "Got me there I guess."
...
Later that night, the Mortician's Club were having their meeting at the Royal Woods Cemetery again. "The results are in and it appears that it's three votes in Lucy's favour and four votes in Haiku's." Bertrand explained. "Therefore, it appears that-"
"Is this the Morticans Club?" A voice interrupted Bertrand.
The club turned to see Lincoln had arrived with a radically different appearance. His hair was messy and spiky with a purple lightning-shaped stripe dyed into it. He had dark purple eyeshadow, three pairs of earrings, a silver nose ring. He wore a black sleeveless shirt with a white skull, a violet spiky collar, violet bracelets, three white belts, oversized trousers and huge violet dragon-like shoes. It was enough to make the rest of the Mortician's Club gasp.
"Lincoln? What in Hades handbag are you doing here?" Lucy asked, pretending to be surprised.
"Oh well, I was hoping to join you guys. I've really taken an interest in death lately." Lincoln explained, trying to make his voice sound edgy.
Boris, along with a couple other club members gave Lucy an annoyed look. "Really, Lucy? Your normie brother?"
"Why, I'm as surprised as you are!" Lucy lied.
"Is he even allowed to join?" Morpheus asked. "He doesn't even go to our school any more.
Bertrand sighed. "Very well. As a new member, I supposed he may vote for our current ev-"
"I vote for my sister, thanks." Lincoln said abruptly.
Bertrand gave Lincoln a pointed look. "I see. I suppose that would make me the deciding vote then." Lucy frowned at this, suddenly realising that Bertrand was likely going to just pick Haiku, who was currently glaring at Lucy.
Boris' eyes widened. "Do you guys hear that?"
Everyone suddenly became silent. Most of them, including Lincoln, had realised the same thing Boris did. The atmosphere became tense.
"Uh, what's going on?" Rocky asked, suddenly becoming nervous.
"There's someone else here." Boris quietly hissed.
"M-Maybe we should leave." Lincoln suggested as everyone then stood up.
However, as the group looked over towards the entrance to the Royal Woods Cemetery, they noticed two figures were guarding it. Both of them were wearing trench coats and fedoras. It seemed like the two figures then noticed them as they slowly began walking towards them.
Now all the members of the Mortician's Club were getting nervous. "Uh, what do we do now?" Dante asked.
"Uh..." Bertrand said, struggling to think of an answer as they began backing off.
Lucy and Haiku were at the back of the group as they began backing off. At least, until they bumped into someone else. Trying not to scream, the two slowly turned around to see that another man in a trench cost was behind them.
The man took off his trench coat as he let out a horrifying screech.
Lucy couldn't suppress a scream as she ran away from the vampire. However, she quickly noticed that Haiku was completely frozen in fear. "Haiku!" Lucy shouted.
The vampire took advantage of this as he grabbed Haiku. "We're here for Rick Sanchez's blood relative!" The vampire rasped out. "We know one of them comes here! Reveal yourself or this girl will become my next meal!"
Lucy gulped. She didn't know what these vampires wanted with her but she wasn't going to let Haiku get hurt. "I-"
"I'm Rick's grandson!" Lincoln suddenly shouted. "Please! Don't hurt her!"
Lucy stared at Lincoln in shock. "Lincoln..."
The vampire put on a twisted grin as he shoved Haiku aside and dashed towards Lincoln. Before anyone else had time to react, the vampire picked Lincoln off before disappearing into the night.
"Lincoln!" Lucy shouted despairingly. Everything happened so quickly. All of the vampires just disappeared. The only thing Lucy could hear was Haiku's hyperventilating. Seeing as there wasn't anything she could do for Lincoln right now, she resisted the urge to panic and went over to check on her friend, whose eyes were wide open in shock as she laid on the ground. "Haiku, are you okay?!" Haiku didn't even seem to be taking notice of Lucy as she was still hyperventilating. "Haiku? It's okay. They're gone now."
The rest of the Mortician's Club found themselves staring in shock at the events that just transpired. "What...just happened?" Dante spoke.
Bertrand snapped out of his trance before running over towards Haiku. He knelt down and clasped her hand. "It's okay, Haiku. Everything's okay. Just breathe."
At this, Haiku began taking some deep breaths. After doing this a couple more times, she finally calmed down. "I'm...I'm okay." She said as she stood back up. "What happened to Lincoln?"
"I...I don't know." Lucy admitted, trying not to imagine what those vampires might be doing to him. Rocky went over to her and held her hand, trying to comfort her.
"What do we do now?" Persephone asked.
"I...I..." Lucy stuttered. "R-Rick! He'll know what to do!"
...
After the vampires had grabbed him, Lincoln soon found himself falling unconscious. When he awoke, he saw that he was now in an unfamiliar castle, kneeling before another vampire sat upon a gothic throne. "W-What's going on?" Lincoln asked nervously. "What do you want from me?"
The vampire master stared down at Lincoln. "Many months have passed since your grandfather sent our very good friend..." He sighed. "Janitorula to his final slumber. An act which cannot be easily forgiven. He will pay for his actions." He grinned as he stood up and approached Lincoln. "As part of our vengeance, we're going to embrace you into our night coven of the damned. You will become my servant and help us enact our sweet revenge."
Lincoln gulped. "C-Can't we talk this out?"
"I'm afraid not." The vampire master snapped his fingers. "Take him away." For a moment, nothing happened. He gave his servants an annoyed look. "Ahem!"
Lincoln then noticed the vampire servants in the room weren't quite like the ones that brought him here. In fact, they appeared to be goth teenagers that seemed more interested in either brooding or looking at their phones. "Ugh, whatever." One of them groaned.
"You know you're not our dad, right?" Another one complained.
The vampire master groaned, dropping his sinister tone. "You know, you guys are terrible vampires. In my day, a vampire was all about being a horny, nightmarish allegory for sexual awakening but all you kids want to do is listen to your...emojified memetracks and make youtubes! Honestly, I don't know why I bothered turning any of you in the first place."
One of the vampire teenagers scoffed. "Don't see how any of that is our problem."
The vampire master scowled. "It is your problem because you are MY servants. You do as I say. You LITERALLY don't have a choice. If you don't like that, you shouldn't have asked to be vampires in the first place. Now I command you to take the boy and commence with the bloodsucking and converting!"
The vampire teenagers groaned. "Fine." One of them said as they began to approach Lincoln.
Some days, Lincoln couldn't help but wonder if he really was just unlucky.
...
This night turned out to be another sleepless night for Rick as he found himself still working on a few gadgets!
"Rick!"
"FFFucking why?!!" Rick jumped, dropping the gadget he was working on. He turned to face Lucy, noticing the panic on her face. "Jesus, what's up?"
"It's Lincoln! He's..." Lucy gasped for breath as she had ran all the way from the cemetery to her home. "He was taken by vampires!"
"Vampires?" Rick blinked in confusion before scowling upon realising why this might be happening. "Ok, what the hell is with these nearly year long vengeance plans lately? Also are those guys with you?" Rick pointed behind Lucy.
Lucy turned to see that the rest of the Mortician's Club had followed her. "You guys followed me?" She asked them.
"We want to help." Persephone stated.
"Lincoln, even if he did only just join, is a member of the Mortician's Club too." Bertrand added. "After what he did, we owe it to him to help anyway we can."
"Oh, so this is that club you're apart of." Rick remarked before giving Boris a suspicious look.
"Uh, is something wrong?" Boris asked awkwardly.
"Yeah, uh...how old are you exactly?"
Boris chuckled nervously. "Why, Boris is only nine years old."
Rick's expression didn't change. "Uh huh."
"We don't have time for this!" Lucy exclaimed. "Who knows what they're doing to Lincoln now."
Rick waved his hand dismissively. "Relax, it's me they're after. If they really wanted to just kill Lincoln, they would've done that already instead of kidnapping him. That vampire union or commune or whatever are trying to bait me. Though chances are, they probably turned Lincoln into one of them."
"You still have the antidote for that, right?"
"The only vampire antidote I need is right here." Rick said as he got out a stake from his drawers. "And no I'm not gonna kill Lincoln before you gasp and get all worried, this is for whoever the vampire daddy is." He then got out a string necklace made of garlic before putting it around his neck. "All I really need to do is figure out where their big castle is."
"How long will that take?" Lucy asked impatiently.
Rick shrugged. "I don't know, why don't we ask the obvious vampire in the room right now?" He said, staring straight at Boris.
Both Lucy's and Boris' jaws dropped while the rest of the Mortician's Club stared back and forth between Rick and Boris in confusion. "I'm sorry, are you referring to Boris?" Bertrand asked.
Boris chuckled nervously. "Eh heh, um, Boris isn't a vampire. Even if I've always wanted to be one."
"Oh really. I guess you wouldn't mind taking a sniff of this garlic then?" Rick asked before holding up one of the bulbs of garlic as he walked towards Boris.
Boris took a step back. "N-No thank you." Unfortunately, this was enough to get the rest of the club suspicious as they all stepped away from him.
"Boris, what's going on here?" Bertrand asked.
"Are you really a vampire?" Rocky asked.
Boris' eyes darted back and forth between the rest of the club members before letting out a defeated sigh. "It is true. Boris is...a vampire." Apart from Lucy, the rest of the club gasped and before backing off from Boris. He gave them a pleading look. "Wait! I'm not what you think I am. I have nothing to do with those other vampires. I've never even drank human blood...mostly just animal blood."
"I don't believe it." Bertrand remarked.
"How did you know?" Dante asked Rick.
Rick shrugged. "I mean the dude looks like Nosferatu and sounds like Gollum getting throttled. I'm surprised none of you figured it out."
Morpheus frowned. "I did have my suspicions when he turned his head 360 degrees that one time."
Rick then addressed Boris. "Like, did you seriously think I'd buy you being nine years old?"
"To be fair, Boris really was nine when he was turned."
Rick blinked in surprise. "Oh."
Bertrand slowly shook his head. "I'm...quite frankly stunned. How come you never told us?"
"I was scared that you might fear me if I told the truth. Or that you might ask me to turn you." Boris admitted. "Trust me. It is not as cracked up to be as you might think."
"That's true." Lucy added, relieved that she didn't have to keep this secret to herself any more.
"But how come you never got affected by sunlight?" Dante asked.
Boris shrugged. "You get used to it after a hundred years."
Lucy then noticed Haiku had backed off into a corner of the garage, staring at Boris fearfully. "Haiku?"
Boris also noticed this, giving her a worried look. "Haiku, please. I am very sorry for hiding this but I swear I would never hurt any of you. You are my friends."
Haiku took a deep breath before moving back towards the group. "It's okay. I'm...fine."
"Are you sure?" Lucy asked.
"Yes." Haiku insisted.
"Ok, are we done with the fifty questions now? Because I'd still like to know if you have any idea where Lincoln was taken." Rick asked Boris.
Boris thought to himself for a moment. "I'm not sure but... I may have an idea."
...
Rick, Lucy and the rest of the Mortician's Club all found themselves staring up at a dark, looming castle. "You know, gotta admit, wasn't expecting that these guys would be situated in Florida." Rick remarked.
Lucy couldn't help but notice that Haiku's eyes were wide with fear as she stared up at the castle. "You don't have to do this. If you want, Rick can send you back home."
Haiku swallowed a gulp and shook her head. "No. Lincoln saved my life. I owe it to him to help. Besides, a member of the Mortician's Club shouldn't be afraid of something like this."
Lucy frowned at this though she didn't see the use in arguing further.
"So, how are you going to save Lincoln?" Rocky asked.
"Didn't I explain this earlier?" Rick asked. "You kill their vampdaddy, they revert. E-E-Everyone knows that. Once he's dead, Lincoln will be back to as normal as he ever was."
"Must you keep referring to him as the 'vampdaddy'?" Bertrand complained.
At this, the group entered the castle. The first thing they saw was a large staircase with a familiar figure at the top of it. Someone that gave the group quite a surprise.
"Lincoln!" Lucy shouted before realising something was very off about him.
Rick reached a hand out in front of her. "Don't bother, Lucy. He's already been turned."
Lincoln let out a sinister chuckle. "Of course you'd already notice, Grandpa Rick. It's about time you arrived. If you're worried about me, don't be. Being a vampire's actually pretty cool. Maybe you guys should join me." He then let out a hiss, revealing his fangs.
While the members of the Mortician's Club were startled by this, Rick seemed unimpressed. "Yeah, if you're trying to be intimidating, it's not exactly working when you're dressed like that." He stated as Lincoln was still wearing the outfit he came to the club with.
Lincoln frowned in annoyance. "Very funny." He smirked again. "No matter. My master will soon have his vengeance but until then, I hope you all enjoy your stay." He let out a cackle before turning into a bat and flying off.
"How did he learn that so fast?" Lucy asked, trying not to sound annoyed.
"It's just as I thought. He's nothing more than a vampiric slave for whatever asshole turned him." Rick stated.
Morpheus then gave Boris a confused look. "Wait, so how come you aren't a slave for whoever turned you?"
"Not every vampire works the same." Boris simply stated before frowning. "It's why Boris looks like this."
Everyone's eyes widened as a small army of vampires suddenly flooded the room. "Hoo boy, here we go. Boris, go take cover. Everyone else, shield your eyes." Rick warned everyone. Once he realised that Boris was out of the way, he got out a small yellow pellet before throwing it into the air. The pellet then exploded, flash banging all the vampires and also causing the vampires closest to Rick to disintegrate. As they were distracted, Rick got out a device before turning it on as it created an axe made of light. He used it to chop of off the heads of a couple vampires until, to his annoyance, it quickly ran out of battery. He then punched the nearest vampire in the face before he realised one had jumped onto his back. Quickly, he pressed a button on his watch that caused a metal collar to form around his neck just before the vampire bit into it, breaking his teeth in the process. Rick followed up by stabbing the vampire with his stake. Rick then grinned as he tightened his fists, causing gatling guns to form around them. He fired them off at all the remaining vampires as the guns fired mini stakes out of them.
Once it was all over and all the vampires were dead, Rick grinned in satisfaction while the Mortician's Club, including Boris, all stared at him in horror. "It...appears Lucy's life was darker than we thought." Bertrand remarked in a quiet voice.
"Wait, where is Lucy?" Rocky suddenly shouted. "And Haiku?"
This got Rick's attention as he looked around the room. "Damn it, they must have kidnapped them while I was fighting the rest of them ." He glared at the remaining Mortician's Club members. "Didn't any of you see them?"
Dante had a faraway look in his eyes. "The carnage was so bloody... I just couldn't look away..."
Rick pinched the bridge of his nose. "Great. Perfect. Knew I should've let Lucy bring that dumb superhero costume. Whatever. Whoever's behind this is probably planning to like, turn them in front of me or something. This probably won't change anything so let's just move on."
The rest of the club gave each other unsure looks before following after Rick.
...
In the midst of the battle, Lucy and Haiku found themselves getting whisked away with very little time to realise what was happening. The next thing they knew, they were tied up in a small room while being guarded by a bunch of vampires. This situation would be terrifying if the vampires in question weren't a bunch of goth teens. "Ugh, I can't believe we have to babysit a couple kids." One of them complained. "This sucks."
"It's not like complaining about it is gonna change anything." Another one pointed out. "Whatever master wants, we have to obey, remember."
The first goth vampire rolled his eyes. "Yeah, yeah. I know."
"Sigh. I knew I should have brought my Eight of Spades outfit." Lucy groaned.
"Why didn't you?" Haiku asked.
"Rick doesn't like it when we bring those. He says he doesn't want our adventures to turn into 'capeshit'." Haiku gave a baffled look in response. "Don't ask."
The two then sat in silence for a moment before Haiku spoke again. "Since we might perish here, I may as well ask. Why were you so dead set on becoming the club President? Did you really think I'd be so bad at it?"
"It's not that. It's just... I thought that I would be the most qualified. I just couldn't understand why I wasn't chosen."
"Well, you can be a little disorganised sometimes."
This caught Lucy off guard. "What?"
"When it comes to planning, you can sometimes forget little details. You're not always the best at planning by yourself."
"Oh..." Was all Lucy responded. There was an awkward silence before she spoke again. "Actually, I lied. There's more to it than that. When you got chosen over me, I suppose I couldn't help but feel a little insecure."
"What do you mean?"
"I have a confession to make. Lately I've been getting into other interests...girlier interests." This took Haiku by surprise. "But that didn't mean I wanted to abandon who I am now. When you were chosen over me, I couldn't help but wonder if it was because you guys thought I wasn't goth enough. That you were starting to see through me. A part of me even wondered if you guys might stop being my friend if you found out."
"That's ridiculous." Haiku responded. "It's not like that kind of stuff matters to us. After all, we let Rocky join. Besides, if we can accept Boris being a vampire, I think we can accept you liking girlier things." She couldn't help but suppress a shudder. "For whatever reason. Besides, it's not like I'm much better."
"Wait, really?"
"This feels wrong to say but..." Haiku gave Lucy a vulnerable look. "The truth is, I'm terrified. After what happened, I just can't look at vampires the same way anymore. I didn't want to admit that to myself since I thought it was wrong for someone like me to feel like this."
"It's completely understandable for you to feel this way." Lucy told her. "I just feel like an idiot. I'm sorry for trying to steal the presidency. And for making Lincoln join the club. It was a cheap trick."
"It's okay." Haiku responded. "At least we'll still be friends in our final moments."
"No, I think I might have a plan." Lucy said as she looked over at the goth teens, who were idly playing with their phones. "Hey." She shouted, getting their attention. "If I may ask, what made you guys want to be vampires."
One of them rolled his eyes. "Um, because vampires are awesome, duh!"
Another of the teens frowned. "To be honest, I mostly did because I thought it might piss off my parents."
"Yeah same." Another teen added.
Lucy gave them a pitiful look. "Sigh. So you sought to rebel against your parents, only to find yourself as someone else's slave. What cruel irony."
This gave the goth teens pause. "You know, to be honest, this isn't what I signed up for." One of them admitted.
"Yeah, I just wanted to be a cool vampire, not some old guy's slave." Another one added.
"It's not like we can do anything about it." Another vampire argued. "Whenever he orders us to do something, we just feel compelled to obey."
"I think I might know away around that." Lucy told them.
...
Rick and the rest of the Mortician's Club were walking down a hallway as Dante was speaking to Boris. "So if you've really been a vampire this whole time then what about your mom?"
"Oh her." Boris waved dismissively. "She's a vampire too. Helps to keep us the illusion."
Bertrand sighed. "I suppose it does add up. You have been a member of the Mortician's Club longer than any of us. Not to mention I don't think I've ever seen you attend a single class."
Rocky couldn't help but look worried. "I hope Lucy and Haiku are okay."
"Well, we're about to find out. I think we just reached the main chamber." Rick informed everyone as he stood before a large set of doors. He kicked them open. "Get ready to suck on-"
"Grandpa Rick!"
"Lucy!" Rick exclaimed as he noticed that both her and Haiku were locked in coffins with small holes for their faces to peek through. They were currently being guarded by the goth teen vampires.
Suddenly, the vampire master appeared near the two coffins. "Hello, Rick."
Before Rick could respond, he suddenly found himself tackled to the floor by Lincoln while the Mortician's Club gasped, backing away from them. The two wrestled on the ground for a bit as he struggled to get Lincoln off of him. It seemed becoming a vampire also improved Lincoln's strength. "What's wrong, Rick?" Lincoln taunted as he held Rick down. "Can't bring yourself to hurt your own grandson?" He knocked the stake out of Rick's hand which rolled over towards Lucy and Haiku's coffins.
The vampire master let out a sadistic laugh. "You maligned my brood by killing Janitorula. You dare to aggrieve this coven? I will take everything from you!"
Rick gave the vampire master a confused look. "Jani-who now?"
"Come on, don't act like you don't know."
Rick grunted, still trying to fight off Lincoln. "You think I'd really care enough to remember, Vampire: The Masturbate?"
"It's 'Masquerade', not mastur-" The vampire master exclaimed indignantly before interrupting himself. "You know what, I'm just going to do my terrible revenge now. You're infuriating!"
Rick gave Lincoln a pleading look. "Come on, Lincoln, snap out of it! Look deep down, this isn't what you really want. You don't want to hurt me."
Lincoln pretended to think about it. "Hmm, I don't know. Looking down, I find that I really do want to hurt you."
"Damn it." Rick looked over at the rest of the Mortician's Club. Boris was trying to guard them as a few other vampire slaves had started to approach them. He wasn't going to get any help from them.
The vampire master cackled. "You've lost, Rick. Now you have no choice but to watch as I suck the life from your granddaughter's body!" He looked over at the coffins, only to find that they were both wide open. "What the?! Where are the children?!" He shouted at the vampire teens that were supposed to be guarding the coffins. None of them seemed to hear him. "Answer me!" He then noticed all of them had headphones plugged in their ears. His eyes then widened as he realised that they've had headphones in ever since he came to collect the two children. "Wait-ARRRGGH!"
Before he had time to react, the vampire master was stabbed through the heart from behind by both Lucy and Haiku as they were both holding the stake. "Never thought I'd be doing this." Lucy admitted while Haiku had a look of catharsis on her face.
The vampire master soon turned to dust, as did some of the older vampires while the younger vampires returned to being mortal, much to their relief. Lincoln shook his head as he let go of Rick. "Ugh. What just happened?"
After Rick got up, Lincoln found himself practically tackled into a hug by Lucy. "Lucy, you're okay!" He looked around the room. "Did you guys save me?"
"You idiot!" Lucy sniffled. "You didn't have to do that. You don't have to be that selfless!"
Lincoln shrugged in response. "Eh. I'd do it again if I needed to."
...
Rick, Lincoln and the Mortician's Club exited the portal back into Rick's garage. "And everything's back to normal. Or whatever counts as that." Rick remarked.
"Except for that we just found out Boris is a vampire." Rocky pointed out.
Boris smiled nervously. "I'm still welcome in the club, right?"
"Sure." Haiku replied.
"I don't see why not." Dante added. Boris let out a sigh of relief.
Lucy smiled at Haiku. "You know, I think Bertrand had it right all along. You should be president."
Haiku smiled back. "Oh, I don't know. You did help save the day after all. How about..." She walked around for a moment. "Two co-presidents? You and me work together, to make a great team. Uh, that was a haiku I just wrote."
"I love it, and I think that's a great idea." Lucy exclaimed before the two embraced each other in a hug.
Bertrand let out a sigh. "You know, after everything that's happened, I think I understand why my father was so eager to take that lifeguarding job."
"What do you mean?" Lucy asked as she let go of Haiku.
"I've been overhearing them talking about wanting to move from Royal Woods for a while now. They always brought up how many strange supernatural events seem to occur here. Thinking about it, I suppose they were starting to feel unsafe living here."
"Oh." Was all Lucy responded with as a deep frown appeared on her face. Something that Rick noticed as he then tried to ignore the feeling that this may have been his fault.