The most adorable fictional couple criticizes some fanfiction.
PART ONE JACK.
Jack: Alright listen up everyone, because I, Jack Skellington the Pumpkin King, have something important to say! So recently, I stumbled upon these fanfiction websites–yes, I know, quite a discovery, isn't it?-and I read what all you people dare to post. HOW COULD YOU WRITE SUCH CRAP?! You think it makes you a great writer or something, just sitting there all day typing endless crap on those fanfiction sites about me leaving Sally. I mean, LEAVING SALLY?! REALLY?! That's what you think should happen? You think a break-up is the best thing?! For example, there's one where I just pretend to love her, then leave her, and then she ends up dead, and when I find out I laugh . . . I'm looking at you, Eversparks. Then there are some where Sally leaves me (makes a scary face at Katieghost). And some of you pair me up with someone else, like Victor Van Dort, really Victor? Come on, don't you know I'm obviously NOT gay, other reasons are I'm already in love with Sally! Victor is already married, and we are from different movies. And it seems that some people pair me up with Emily the Corpse Bride, you think we make a great couple just because we're both skeletons, but like I said I AM PERFECTLY HAPPY WITH SALLY! Some of you fans who claim to be in love with me pair me up with a human girl, I mean COME ON! Also I agree with Nintendogal55's opinion on that. Even worse, some of you have me do terrible things to Sally, like banishing her from Halloween Town, or even killing her. I'M LOOKING AT YOU STUPID AUTHOR, is that actually your name on that site? It suits you, and I do not mean it as a compliment. You even claim to hate her and say she's useless, AND THAT GETS ME ALL ANGRY! Also like 80% of the fanfictions where I get paired up with someone else have me saying and doing terrible things to Sally. So anyway the point is I WOULD NEVER EVER DO ANYTHING TERRIBLE TO HER, MUCH LESS GET BORED WITH HER! WHATEVER HAPPENED TO SIMPLY MEANT TO BE?! Anyway, I want to thank Nintendogal55, TheLostPumpkinPrincess112495, and GodlyJewel for being true fans of me and Sally and not writing any terrible fanfictions about us. And here's your final warning: if any of you write more of those terrible fanfictions, I will summon Beetlejuice to mess up your life (I do know him, our stories were done by the same guy, we're practically cousins.) You have been warned.
PART TWO SALLY.
Sally: Ok fans, or so-called fans, we need to talk. Recently I stumbled upon this stuff known as fanfiction. There were like a ton of stories dedicated to Jack and me; at first it seemed good, but then I found out what a lot of you dare publish. HOW COULD YOU?! You think you're cool, just sitting there all day typing immature fantasies about me or Jack–or both of us–dying, or worse–me and Jack splitting up! I mean, REALLY? Sometimes you have me leave him . . . I'm looking at you, Katieghost. Sometimes you have him leave me. A few of you even pair me up, or at least try to pair me up, with Oogie Boogie. SERIOUSLY OOGIE BOOGIE?! Of all the characters in the world, at least a few of you put me with him! It's already enough when he tries to make me love him. And I would NEVER EVER fall in love with him; he tried to kill me, in case you forgot! Moving on, some of you think Dr. Finkelstein wanted to marry me, or that I'm a stalker, or that I'm useless. Some of you even have Jack fall in love with someone else like Victor Van Dort, Emily the Corpse Bride, human girls, and OCs. Sometimes you have him only pretend to love me. Some of you even go as far as to have him banish me from Halloween Town, or even kill me. And when I was reading all that from so-called fans, Jack saw my reaction and assured me that none of that would ever happen, and he had the same reactions when he read it. Well, there you have it! Jack and I love each other deeply; nothing can ruin our relationship. Not even Oogie Boogie. You really should read the sequel novel to our movie, Long Live the Pumpkin Queen; you'd be surprised at what you find out about me if you read far enough. Anyway, could you just stop it? But thank you to all the writers who stayed true to the story. And if I find any more bad fanfictions, I will send Thing from Wednesday to prank you.