Super Mario World (Series)

by sleepfiction

After fixing a strange pipe deep below their city, plumber brothers Mario and Luigi find themselves sucked into a pipe that warps them to a strange new land: the Mushroom Kingdom! As strangers in a strange new place, Mario and Luigi quickly make themselves useful by helping those around town, also aided by the compassionate Princess Peach and pursued by the dark King Bowser.

3. 1-3: Pipe Pals

In the Dark Lands, in deserted areas crawling with Dry Bones, there were remnants of a lost civilization. Once upon a time ago, the Old King Koopa and his Queen reigned in a blackened stone castle, which towered over all the smaller huts that made up the Dark Lands' residential area. Time has not been kind to this castle or its huts, and now all that remains are crumbled buildings, a shell of the former castle and Dry Bones stumbling through town.

The area was lovely during the times of the year where there wasn't as much magma flowing through the dark kingdom. Inside the castle itself, through the broken stone floor, fertile and rich soil could be found.

Inside this old castle, plants were creeping up the walls. Vines hung down from what remained of the ceiling. What was once a room that symbolized the lost Drakoopas was now a beautiful memorial full of vibrant green plants.

A Bramball, a massive orange and yellow bulb with two leg-like thorny stalks that walks sideways, took a step over the walkway made to lead inside the old castle. As it did, the Magikoopa below it that was sitting on his broom sprayed it in the face.

Kamek had been coming to this old castle for years now, ever since the new King- Bowser- could properly take care of the kingdom on his own. It was a wonderful pastime, to garden, even if the king didn't really see it that way. Bowser never complained when Kamek brought in plants to liven up Castle Bowser though.

The spray bottle he was using had a mixture of water and plant food in it. Though the Bramball was bewildered for a moment, upon being fed, it continued to walk around the room to get in its exercise. The sentient plant was one that Kamek had found wandering the Dark Lands ages ago- a long way from its typical jungle home.

Lowering his broom down, Kamek hopped off of it to his feet. He had to pick up his robe with a hand to walk down the little path he made in the garden he created. His broom, using its bristles like legs, walked behind him. The Magikoopa hummed to himself as he sprayed the Nipper plants he had lining the path. Soon, these would grow into lovely rose-red Piranha Plants.

He had a lot of the Nippers and Piranhas around here. They reproduced like crazy, with floaty seeds akin to dandelions- Nipper Spores- landing wherever they could and immediately starting to grow. Besides them, Kamek also had Bungee Buds, Fink Flowers and even a few of the dangerous (and rare) Volcano Lotus.

It was truly a bountiful garden. Kamek was proud. He's won "Best Garden In The Dark Lands" for ten years in a row! It was an award he set up himself, but still, that had to count for something.

The trail winded around the inside of the castle, heading upwards. Up at the top of the little hill made was something most interesting: a mostly broken protruding Warp Pipe. It had broken so, so long ago, that Kamek barely remembered why it did. What he did remember is that he found the baby king the same day he found this broken green pipe.

He continued to spray the plants around him. However, he paused when he heard something strange- the sound of something rattling around a metal pipe somewhere. He looked around to try and find the source of it. He had an inkling of where it was from, but he didn't want to get his hopes up.

Tink-tink TWANG

Kamek knew that sound. He heard a similar one about a week prior. His eyes turned to the shattered Warp Pipe up at the peak of the garden's small hill.

Ting-ting ting-ting TWANG ting-ting-ting-ting-ting TWANG

THUNK!

The Magikoopa watched as something launched itself from the pipe. It was a bottle, one that landed on the dirt path and bounced a few times before rolling down the incline to Kamek's feet. It was a bottle made of pink glass, and he could see there was something inside.

Kamek pulled off his glasses, rubbing the lens with his robe to clean them and make sure he was seeing things correctly. After putting them back on he confirmed it- a message in a bottle. Unlike the last little note he had retrieved from here, Kamek didn't have a prophetic dream about this.

Excitedly, Kamek picked up the bottle and started to scurry towards the exit of the castle. His broom joined him, eventually "jumping" forwards and going horizontal, allowing Kamek to grab onto the broom and be carried off, his geometric magic sparkling behind him as he flew away.

Dry Bones watched him fly past, one of them even getting hit by Kamek's broom as he flew through the abandoned town. After a few seconds, the bones rattled and reformed themselves, the Dry Bones now upset that it was knocked down.

There were forests somewhere out in the Dark Lands. These forests are where the Piranha Plants first grew. But due to the destruction caused by monarchs of generations past, the Dark Lands have become a barren dark wasteland of lava and dust. What would be a normal trip down a river in another kingdom was, here, Kamek following the flow of lava all the way to the volcano that was close to Bowser's castle.

With the bottle in hand, Kamek flew up the side of the jagged mountain and into the constructed and sculpted maw of his king that made up the front entrance of Castle Bowser. The doors flew open once more like they did little over a week ago- though the Hammer Bro and Fire Bro weren't standing by the door this time.

Flying right into the throne room, Kamek's entrance got the interest of the throned king.

"My king!" The Magikoopa said.

"What do you want, Kamek?"

The older Koopa didn't say another word, simply holding up the pink bottle he retrieved.

King Bowser had been in a bit of a rut the last week or so. After sending a message out to this mysterious Princess Peach, Bowser had been waiting with baited breath for the return message. He even accompanied Kamek to the garden one time to sit by the pipe! Kamek was happy for the company.

However, when Bowser didn't get his message back within a few days, he got really upset. The king was really taking it out on his minions.

So when Kamek presented the pink bottle to him, Bowser nearly leapt out of his throne, his eyes widening.

"Get out." He said to the nearby Armored Koopa.

"My lord?"

"ALL OF YOU, GET OUT AND LEAVE ME WITH KAMEK!" Bowser roared. Flame puffed from the sides of his mouth as he yelled. "NOW!"

The armored Koopa Troopas, members of the elite squad Koopatrol, scurried like scared animals at the loud command of their king. Soon, Kamek and Bowser were left alone in the throne room. Bowser stood up, the Magikoopa flying up to stand before him.

Bowser cleared his throat and took a deep breath.

"She finally sent back a message?!" The king was smiling, excited. His massive and terrifying row of sharp teeth where bared towards the magikoopa.

"I believe so, my lord. Would you like to do the honors?"

Before Kamek could even finish the last word, Bowser snatched the bottle from him. It wasn't as large as the black bottle he sent before, but Bowser could still hold it in his hand. He carefully turned it over, using his claws on the cork in the bottle and sliding it out. He flicked it away, hard enough to form a hole in the newly repaired window nearby.

He tilted it over and retrieved the soft pink parchment from inside. The familiar smell of peaches filled his nose as he got it out, making him smile. It was from her!

"Read it for me, read it for me!" Bowser gave the rolled up paper to his vizier.

Kamek gladly took it, clearing his throat and adjusting his glasses as the king returned to his throne, as giddy and gleeful as could be. It was a rare sight to see Bowser genuinely smile around the Dark Lands- if he did smile, it was a smug and/or sinister one. This one was an actual happy smile.

"Dear King Koopa…" Kamek began. "I hope this letter reaches you. It's so exciting to hear about other people existing outside the Mushroom Kingdom. I know what it's like to feel isolated from the world, I've been that way since I was a little girl. I always wondered what existed outside of my kingdom and I'm honored to be someone you've reached out to. I've never heard of your name before, but I'd love to learn everything about you and the kingdom you live in. It's so nice to meet you. I hope to hear from you again soon. Sincerely, Princess Toadstool."

Bowser's smile only got bigger as the letter was read out.

"She's honored to meet me!" He said with glee. "She wants to hear from me soon! Kamek, get out some parchment and let's write a return letter for tonight!"

"My lord, if I may," Kamek rolled up Peach's letter again. "I don't think we should be rushing into sending a message back to her."

"What?! I've been waiting forever for her to write back to me! What if she's waiting on me, right now, for a letter to get back to her?"

"She may be! But it's also important to note that she took a week to reply to you! She took time, and careful consideration into her letter. Maybe we should take a few days and think about what we will be sending back to her? Instead of putting the first things we think about onto paper for us to regret."

The face of the king was not pleased, though not angry. More… unhappy. He knew that his court wizard was right on this, that taking time to craft a better letter would work out for them in the long run rather than just sending whatever he thought was right, right away. Bowser's had a lot of regret letting his impulses make decisions.

He huffed, annoyed, lip curled in a bit of a snarl.

"Fine." The king rumbled. "We'll take a bit longer to make a reply."

"Excellent, my tenebrosity! Though we won't wait a week to respond to her, I assure you."

"We better not, Kamek."

"I assure you we won't, sire. In fact, how about we get started now? We can refine it to a masterpiece if we get started as soon as possible."

Off his broom, Kamek waved his wand, summoning another black bottle and some dark parchment. His wand turned into an inky super feather quill in a burst of shapes and purple sparkles. The paper didn't need a background, suspended in air for the magikoopa to write on. Behind him, his broom started waddling away again.

He readjusted his glasses, before taking them off and cleaning them on his robe just in case. His small and squinted eyes looked up at his king.

"What would you like to write, your majesty?"

"Hm…" Bowser rubbed his chin. "Let's do it like… Dear Peach, it's so nice to hear from you. I'm really happy to hear you didn't discard my letter. You can also call me Bowser, or King Koopa, or King Bowser, or your majesty, or your highness, or maybe your king? Anyway, it's so cool to hear from you again because I felt really, really worried you wouldn't reply. I was close to sending another message to make sure you were still alive, haha- write the 'haha' in Kamek- but it's good that I don't have to go looking for you. Your handwriting is so pretty. I'm sorry you've been isolated. You're always free to come to my country. I assure you that you aren't like the trash that comes here, I can already tell you're special. So anyways, I hope to hear from you again soon, very soon. I look forward to your next message. Don't take too long because I'm holding my breath! Love, Bowser."

Kamek was writing this stream of consciousness down on the parchment, his eyebrows furrowing by the time they got to the end of the letter. He slowly wrote the final two words, reading over the text again to make sure he was writing everything correctly.

Afterwards, he cleared his throat.

"Uh, sire… Are you sure this message isn't a little bit… Much?"

"Well… I suppose the 'love Bowser' might be a little forward. I just think she's really special."

"No no, I get that. But there is being forward, and then there's diving head first without looking before you leap."

"…are you calling me blind, you four-eyed old geezer?"

"Sire," Kamek let out an exasperated sigh. "Look, I know you truly enjoy getting these messages. I know you think she's special. But you've only just met her, and it's only through messaging. People get very writhe-y when it comes to extreme emotion from those they don't know intimately."

"In my kingdom, I value a man showing his feelings outright!"

"Says the koopa threatening me for stating my opinion…" The magikoopa grumbled. "But what do I know? I only raised you, fed you, put you down for naps, gave you every ounce of my loyalty and more…"

Kamek was free to mumble this as he knew the king wasn't listening. Instead, Bowser was stewing over what was said by his ex-guardian, his fist against his cheek and other hand drumming his fingers on the throne's arm.

"Rrrr… Fine, fine! What do you suggest then, Kamek?"

"Well, let's change the 'love' at the end to something different. To reflect your majesty, your royal status and show her how sophisticated you truly are."

That was definitely not why Kamek was changing it. But the compliment got Bowser back on the happier side. He sat up straight, before grinning widely and nodding slowly.

Kamek drew a line through the "Love, Bowser" which caused both the line and the words to instantly fade away. In its place, he wrote something else, saying it aloud as well: "Cordially, King Koopa"

"Yeah, yeah, that's good. What's next?"

"Well, you add a lot of random sentences that cause the vibe of the message to be different."

Kamek crossed them out, making those words fade too. As they faded, the other words in the letter slid to take its place, assuring there were no awkward gaps in the paragraph.

"We can undo the sentences that seem a bit too aggressive…"

He crossed them out too.

"And certainly we will not include a 'haha' in this letter."

That was gone next.

"Kamek, what is left in this letter?"

At the request of the king, Kamek adjusted his glasses and looked close at the message.

"Dear Peach, it's nice to hear from you. Cordially, King Koopa."

At that, Bowser huffed, fire blowing from his nostrils and a big frown on his face.

"You took out my entire letter?"

"Your viciousness, that was merely the first draft." The wizard replied. "As we said, we will be doing this over the course of a few days. You must have a baseline to understand what works and what doesn't. Now, let us take it from the top one more time…"

---

Dear Princess Toadstool,

It's so nice to hear from you again. I find the aspect of a person who has not heard of me or my kingdom very exciting- I live in a kingdom very far away from the Mushroom Kingdom from what I can see on a map. As I said, a lot of trash flows in from here; but I'm happy to see among the trash is something I can look forward to now.

I'm interested in your own kingdom as well. I can tell you replied with a fountain pen. We don't have a lot of those things here. Then again, I am a physically large person, so I don't think I would be able to use them at all if they were here! I always find those who use them to be so elegant, and you are certainly not an exception. I envy you and your handwriting.

I look forward to your reply. And please, call me Bowser.

Cordially, King Koopa

Sitting at her desk in her room, Peach read over the letter that had come in the bottle from the warp pipe. She had been flocking around the pipe for a few hours every day, waiting for the next letter to come in so she could read it.

It was hard to explain, but Peach was so interested and thrilled to find someone new to talk to. She wondered about this king, about his kingdom. He stated he was physically large- how large was he? How was he writing if he couldn't hold a fountain pen? What was his kingdom even called? What the heck was this Warp Pipe thing anyway?

All things for her next letter. She wanted to read it again, but she was going to write her own reply soon. She just had to make sure she wouldn't be caught by her parents.

There was a knock at the door. Speak of the devil.

"Peach?" King Mushroom poked his head in, eyebrow raised. "You here, fuzz?"

"Right here, father." After slipping the bottle in a drawer of the desk out of view of the door, Peach turned in her chair to look at her parents entering. The king was first, followed by the queen.

"Hello, Peach." Chanterelle was in a good mood that morning.

"Hello, mother."

"How's it going, princess?" The king grinned. "Having a good day?"

"It's been alright. I was thinking of doing some baking later, but I don't know what to make."

"You could always test out some cookie recipes for our expedition to the Beanbean Kingdom next month. I'm sure Queen Bean and Prince Peasley would appreciate some castlemade baked goods! Wouldn't hurt to help the Beanish to get on our good sides, as well."

Peach thought over her mother's suggestion. The Beanbean Kingdom was the most reliable ally the Mushroom Kingdom had… that, and she's met Peasley once or twice before at the yearly summits- under all that vaingloriousness, the prince was a pretty good guy.

"I'll think about it."

"If you do make them, you're always free to bring them yourself and come with us!"

"Mother…"

"Chanterelle." Mushroom bemoaned to his wife. "We already agreed that Peach could stay. She wrote up a contract and everything months ago."

"Yes, well…" The queen sighed softly. "I just worry of the risk presented leaving her alone with current events that have happened recently."

"Mother, may I remind you that you and father were once gone after a natural disaster for such a substantial matter of time that I was forced to go to a summit meeting by myself one year?" Peach replied. "I know you're worried about Mario, and the green pipes, but I can handle everything just fine!"

"She did handle that Chain Chomp pretty nicely." Mushroom added. "And the Toad Brigade said she was a delight to have when she went with them on their… partial trip. Not to mention she willingly helped that intelligent Toad with them."

Peach was inclined to bring up last week's adventure involving her, Mario and the (now relocated) Toadso in the sewers of Toad Town fighting those Koopas, but she kept her mouth shut. Her parents didn't need to know about that.

"You know what they say: it's a mother's job to worry." The queen concluded, though still seemed conflicted. "I don't mind you being here, I just don't want you getting harmed."

"I won't be! You'd be surprised how much I can do when trouble arises."

"I'm sure I would be. Alright, I won't bring up the Beanbean Kingdom expedition again." The queen waved her hand. "Forget I brought it up. I will be the bigger Toad and admit that the Mario fellow has done a remarkable job fixing the plumbing in town."

"You did order him to, Chanterelle."

"Yes, but I'm surprised with how much he loves doing it. It's almost uncanny… Plumber Toad never enjoyed doing that job as much as he does."

"Plumber Toad's name is Toadso, mother."

"Oh? Yes, of course. Sorry, it's easier to remember them when it comes to their occupation."

There was a pause, almost as if the queen was contemplating more to say, before she relaxed.

"Well, if you do decide to bake some cookies, do let me know. I'd be happy to help."

"Of course, mother."

With that, Chanterelle turned and glided out. Mushroom was about to follow, but paused at the door. He gently closed it to just a crack, turning to his daughter with a furrowed brow.

"Do at least consider what your mother is saying. About getting into trouble."

"Father…"

"I know, I know." He held a hand up, slowly shaking his head. "You're your own woman, and I know you have a brilliant head on your shoulders. But just heed your mother's words. She only says what she does out of worry, fuzz."

"…at least she didn't make demands this time."

"She's trying. She knows you're a brilliant woman, too." Mushroom nodded slowly. For a second, it seemed that his eyes flicked to Peach's drawer- the one with the bottle in it- before going back to his daughter's face. "I'll see you at dinner, princess."

"I'll see you there, father."

The king gave his daughter one more nod before slipping out of the room, closing the door behind him. Peach watched the door for another moment or two to make sure they wouldn't come back before turning to her desk again.

Her hand wavered over the drawer with the bottle. With one more glance to the door- this time thoughtfully more than cautious- she pulled the drawer open and retrieved Bowser's bottle and letter. She slipped a piece of her pink parchment out next to start her own letter.

She looked over at the bottle, thinking about what she was going to write for a moment. Soon, her fountain pen was in hand, and the end glided over the page as she wrote her response to Bowser.

---

It had only been a few days since Bowser had sent that last letter, and he was still thinking about it.

Could you blame him though? It was something new, something besides the hundreds of Koopas and Goombas and Shy Guys that made up the Dark Lands. The letter in pink was a new color, a new shade of red that the king found most beautiful amongst the ash and destruction that was interwoven into the very foundation of his kingdom.

On the second floor of his castle, in a room that made up half the floor, Bowser was laying on his bed. The master bedroom was suitably massive for a king Bowser's side, and his bed laid on a raised stone platform on the ground to support the weight of the Drakoopa. Besides that, he had a desk, an electric keyboard, and an unused karaoke machine- the latter two having come through the Warp Pipe.

What more could the king say? He loves a good tune.

On his stomach, laying so he was facing the door far from the foot of the bed, Bowser was elated thinking about the letter and the woman who had written it. He had requested a flower from Kamek, and had received a volcano lotus. He would be kicking his feet, but he had already been doing that for an hour and now his legs were tired.

"She likes me, she likes me not. She likes me, she likes me not…"

Bowser plucked the petals of the lotus one by one as he spoke. One of Kamek's many lectures about the flower suggested that the flower itself was a living thing that could feel pain even when harvested- or at least Bowser thought, he never really paid attention to his court wizard's babbling about dumb plants or whatever. He had a reputation to uphold. One that would equally be tarnished if anyone walked in to see Bowser laying like he currently was.

Under his macho, tough guy, rough exterior, Bowser was a big hopeless romantic. His minions just wouldn't get it… but they could never really find out regardless. Again, reputation and whatnot.

"She likes me, she likes me not. She likes me… She likes me… not—"

The final petal on the warm lotus was plucked with a deep frown. However, the final word was interrupted when his bedroom doors flew open. Kamek was there, floating in and hopping off his broom, his magic trail seeming to float around and close the door for him.

"My lord!"

Bowser scrambled around, the heavyset king getting to his feet but nearly falling down the raised platform that held his bed. Smoke billowed from his mouth in annoyance.

"Kamek! I've told you not to barge into my room like that!" The king stomped his foot.

"A thousand apologies, your brutishness," Kamek replied. Silently, he wondered why Bowser even cared- Kamek took care of the king when he was a child, he's seen far worse than Bowser playing with a flower. He continued nontheless. "But I have splendid news!"

The magikoopa presented the dazzling pink bottle to his king. Bowser lit up with a sharp smile.

"She sent me back a message already! I told you, Kamek, that it didn't matter to wait a week!"

"You live and you learn, sire. Shall I read it to you?"

"Yeah, of course! C'mon!"

After Bowser climbed back onto his bed, Kamek slipped the letter out into his hand. He cleared his throat and adjusted his glasses.

Dear Bowser,

I find what you said about the pen very intriguing. I've never heard of Koopas before, and the only exposure I've had were these turtle people who came into the Mushroom Kingdom. Are you one of those too? I come from the Mushroom Kingdom, but I don't look like any of the Toads that live here.

I never got to say in my previous writing, but I'm fascinated by this "warp pipe" that we're speaking through. I've never seen anything like it! What do you know about it? How does everything lead back to your kingdom? What does it even look like, if you don't mind me asking?

Please do tell me if I'm intruding with my questions. My mother and father, the queen and king, they don't allow me to leave this kingdom of mine. They don't allow anyone to go in or out. I'm a captive to my own land, all because my parents are afraid of the unknown out there. But in my opinion, the unknown is just so much more exciting than the familiar. Especially if you've been stuck with the familiar for so long.

Also, I'll gladly call you Bowser if you call me Peach.

Warm Regards, Princess Peach

Kamek expected the king to look happy or warm when he finished the letter- it's how the wizard himself felt. However, when he looked up, Bowser was far from it. The king was warm alright, so warm he was blowing fire from his maw.

"Her parents?!"

"My lord?"

"How dare that king and queen treat her so badly!" Bowser boomed. "They have a kind, caring and adventurous young woman in their midst and they're squashing that fire out? For what?! Because they're nothing but sniffling little… little… Kamek, what do Toads look like?"

"Mushroom people."

"SNIFFLING LITTLE MUSHROOM PEOPLE! Whatever that is!"

"If I may, my king, I do believe you're focusing on the wrong aspects of the letter."

"What else is there? She just admitted she's being held captive by her own white-livered parents! Why I oughta… I oughta take her and let her live here! I know I'd let her go anywhere she'd want!"

"As much as I'm sure she would appreciate a change of scenery, that may not be the best course of action right now. Let us see if she is open to the idea, before we do anything that could start another war between our kingdom and the other kingdoms of the world."

"Well if we did start one, it would be for good reason!" Bowser slouched, his arms crossing tightly as he stewed at the edge of the bed.

"She also asked about the Warp Pipe. As well as the Dark Lands itself."

The wizard summoned his wand, which shimmered into a inked quill like before. Another dark bottle and gray parchment popped into the air for the court wizard to write on.

"What would you like to say?"

It took a moment of pouting silence before Bowser spoke again.

"Dear Peach," He grumbled. "I can't believe your parents would be so wretched to such a brilliant woman like you. If I could, I would go through the warp pipe and destroy your parents myself, so the Mushroom Kingdom could have such a wonderful queen leading them instead of snot-nosed COWARDS like your parents! No offense. But a bit offense towards them, they SUCK! Anyway, you're always free to come here. I'd love to have you here. Because of some dumb stuff I don't remember about, the warp pipe to my kingdom is busted and doesn't have the kinda vacuum control the other pipes have, so when random things enter the Warp Zone they get sucked towards my kingdom naturally. Anyway, like I said, you're free to come here yourself and see. It's really pretty here this time of year. The magma makes it really warm. I hope you have a great day. With… Cordially, King Bowser."

Kamek looked just as displeased as he did when he wrote the last letter for his king.

"Okay, there's a lot to work with here…" He tried to sound supportive. "Perhaps less pushy when it came to inviting her to the kingdom."

"I don't see the issue. I said she could come here when she wants!"

"You did say you would kill her parents if you could."

"Oh c'mon, it's just a joke!"

"If you don't mind me asking, sire, what is the punchline to that joke?"

"…I do mind you asking, actually!"

Kamek huffed, but continued to scribble on the parchment.

"We can ease back on the intensity, so she isn't freaked out, but admit that we fiercely feel for her situation. Nothing about physical violence, maybe change the 'dumb stuff' about the Warp Pipe to make it sound a bit more formal."

The court wizard didn't wait for more comments from Bowser, as he knew the king was still in his brooding trance and was just thinking to himself.

"She should know how much I care about her!"

"There's limits people have, my benightedness. We must take it slow."

Bowser growled. He kept saying that, but the king didn't get why it had to happen. If Peach was anything like the king, then she would appreciate and love someone who was so openly expressing their emotions like Bowser was. There was nothing wrong with being forward!

He stared with fiery eyes at the composing wizard, smoke puffing out of his nose.

"Okay, I believe we've rewritten it." Kamek said. He cleared his throat again. "Dear Peach, I'm so sorry to hear about the king and queen preventing you from exploring the world. I admit that I was very upset reading that- I know what it's like being stranded in your own kingdom, and I hate for anyone to experience what I have. That ties into the Warp Pipes as well, ironically. I'm unsure of the specifics, but the pipe to our kingdom has become destroyed, preventing anyone from coming or going that way. It also means that there isn't any suction control, so any trash that ends up in the Warp Pipes can easily end up in my kingdom. I hope though, someday, you will be able to visit my kingdom. Yes, I am a turtle person- a Koopa- but a very large one. Though my kingdom and my appearance may be frightening to some, I'm sure you'll be able to find the beauty even in a place like this. Best wishes to you. Cordially, King Bowser."

It was clear Kamek was pleased with what he wrote, or rewrote, for his king. Bowser was still stewing, but he did seem a bit calmer after the wizard recited what he put on the paper.

"Hmph. That's okay, I guess."

"Excellent!"

"I want to send it back tonight though! Since she didn't wait a week, we don't have to wait it either!"

"Of course, sire. Allow me to get… Where's my broom?"

As it always did, the broom had used its bristles to walk like legs. The end of the broom's handle was looking into the room from the door, but quickly slipped out and left when Kamek spotted it.

"Hey! You get back here!"

The court wizard left the parchment, the bottle and the feather behind. Bowser looked at the door, but his eyes slowly went over to the floating letter.

After one more glance to make sure Kamek was out of the area, the king got up and trudged over to where his court wizard was standing before. He glowered at the page, reading over the letter again. Bowser thought about the changes made, and wondered if he would ever get his point across.

He could write better than this fancy-shmancy drivel. He had a big heart (literally) and he wanted to show it!

Holding the inky feather between two large fingers, Bowser started scribbling across the page. He crossed out all the words except the greeting and sign off, letting the magic ink remove the rewritten letter.

The King Koopa did have to admit- thinking back, he was a bit intense when it came to his first draft. Now that he's had time to cool off, he could write a much more subdued letter, that was sophisticated much like the king himself.

Dear Peach,

Your dumb parents must not know how much of an intelligent and ambitious young woman they have among them. You should be free to go wherever you want to go, do what you want to do, and visit whoever you want- like me! I'd be happy to have you here someday. My kingdom isn't made for little wussy types that can't handle a little heat, but I can tell that you can take it. I'm a big turtle guy myself, so I can handle any temperature. I like it hot… Real hot. ;)

That Warp Pipe thing is just some dumb thing that sits in my kingdom. I don't really know anything about it, but it's busted around the inside of it. The suction stuff is all messed up, so trash that goes into the pipes end up here. You could be here too! Not saying you're trash. But you deserve to be in a place much better than somewhere you're essentially jailed in. I know what that's like. Hope to hear from you soon! Bye!

Cordially, King Bowser.

Once he was done, Bowser smiled at his handiwork. Luckily Kamek taught him how to write, so his handwriting didn't look like scrawl or anything. He just needed something more to sweeten the deal… people liked a little gift with messages. At least that's what Kamek taught him.

He got an idea. Bowser returned to his bed, retrieving a volcano lotus petal and pressing it to the page. Bowser rolled up the parchment and stuck it right in the bottle, putting the cork in just as Kamek returned with his broom.

"Here ya go, Kamek. Take that to the pipe as soon as possible!" The king tossed the bottle to Kamek.

"Oh! Thank you for your assistance, your brutishness! I'm sure she'll reply in—"

"Like right now, Kamek! Take it right now!"

"Yes of course, my lord!"

Kamek hopped onto his broom and flew out of the room, a trail of purple sparkle and shapes leading out of the master bedroom. Bowser returned to his bed, sitting with a smile as he thought about the princess reading the letter, and how much she'd appreciate his fondness for her.

---

Peach thought the last letter she got was really weird.

It had been on her mind in the week after she had received the letter. It was currently in her purse, which she had strapped over her shoulder. With a Toad Guard strolling along behind her, Peach was currently perusing the local market. They had in some fruits and vegetables from other towns across the kingdom, so there was a lovely variety for this month's market.

"Hello, your highness!"

"Hello, Toadenheimer." Peach replied, smiling at the stall full of crop. "Lovely pickings this year! How's Toadra?"

"He's doing pretty good, thanks for asking!" The older Toad beamed. "Pick what you like, I'll be sure you get nothing but the best."

"Oh please, give me the worst. The Toads of this town deserve the best, not me. Plus, the weirder it looks, the better!"

Toadenheimer chuckled. "Alright, alright. I'll look in my back supply. Stay right there, princess!"

Hopping down from a little stool he had, the merchant Toad left and disappeared behind some shelfs full of produce to look for what was requested. Peach, with the Toad Guard still beside her, stayed at the front of the stall. As other Toads passed by, she gave a small wave to each of them with a smile.

Her mind returned to the letter. She had only known Bowser briefly, but it felt that this most recent letter was a weird shift in tone from the others. It was a bit more… Messy? Too forward, for sure. It was like Bowser really wanted her around, but it felt like he was pressuring her, even through a letter.

It was good to know that he was a big turtle guy, though. Much like "Toads" came from Toadstool, those Koopa beings she encountered in the sewers must be named after Bowser, and look identical.

She needed a bit more time to figure out exactly what to say. Peach just needed to figure out how to say it.

"Peach?"

The deeper voice made Peach turn immediately, since she automatically knew it wasn't a Toad from that.

Mario was across the walkway, standing at the stall across from Peach. She was surprised that he only noticed her now, but maybe it was because he was so focused on the line of stalls on either end of the path. He had his standard overalls on, his hat hooked onto one of the overall buttons to let his brown hair go free.

"Mario!" The princess turned to face him. "Hi!"

"Hey." He replied. "What're you a'doing here?"

"Picking out some new fruits for baking. I feel like a pie would work really well this time of year… what about you, what are you doing here?"

"Looking for a'something to have for dinner that isn't a'stuffed mushrooms."

"Stuffed? With what?"

"More a'mushrooms!" The plumber chuckled. Peach smiled in amusement.

Peach heard shuffling from inside the stand, making her turn back. Toadenheimer returned with the requested produce: an imperfect peach, which looked like someone ran it over with a kart. Hopping back up on his stool, he presented it to the princess.

"Here's the fruit you wanted! It's a peach."

Smiling, the princess took it from him. She turned back to Mario, holding the peach beside her face.

"I think the resemblance is uncanny, don't you, Mario? I think this is my twin sister."

The plumber sputtered and chuckled, Peach still grinning after making her joke. Upon catching the Toad Guard reaching out to pay the stall attendant for the fruit, Peach put her hand on his, reaching into her purse to pay for the fruit herself.

"Keep the change." She said. The princess left the stall front to step beside Mario. "I could help you find something to make for dinner tonight, Mario."

"Oh! Well, I don't a'want to intrude on your day out."

"Please, I was bored anyway. Let's carry on."

With the guard trailing behind, Mario and Peach walked together down the path, looking across what was available at the market that day. The princess slipped her deformed namesake into her purse as well, saving it for later. Typically the weirdest ones have the best results in pies.

"For people who are made of a'mushrooms, you all sure seem to love a'eating them."

"Toads are detached from common mushrooms by many generations of evolution."

"Huh! That's like how it is for my kinda people and a'monkeys."

"Really?" Peach's eyebrows raised. "…what's a monkey?"

"I'll a'draw a photo for you sometime. Though I have to tell ya, Luigi was the artistic a'brother. No promises that you'll a'understand what I make."

"I have a pretty artistic eye, I think I'll be able to see what you're trying to say." Peach stopped with him at a stall. "What about root vegetables? Turnips, onions, beets and radishes are abundant in the Mushroom Kingdom. I pull them up all the time in my garden."

"Never had a'most of them. Except onions, but never as a main dish."

"No time like the present!"

Peach picked up one each of the ripened vegetables, handing them to Mario. This made it easier for the princess to hand the stall Toad some coins to pay for the produce.

"Peach!"

"What, are you getting paid for the mandatory plumbing jobs?" She continued to walk, letting Mario follow. "How is that going, anyway? Have you gotten it all done?"

"Yeah, a'pretty much. Gotta keep my eye out for any resurfacing a'problems in town." Mario shrugged. "I can mainly focus on finding my brother now. Do you have any new info on that?"

She paused. Looking over her shoulder a bit at the Toad Guard, she saw he had stopped a stall back to look at some trinkets for sale. Grabbing the plumber's arm, she shuffled him to the side, threading the needle between stands to get away from him. Peach would vouch for the guard later, but right now she wanted privacy with Mario.

"I've been trying to look up where, exactly, Luigi could end up. I have one small lead, but I'm unsure." The princess murmured to him as they slipped into the crowd of stands. She ducked down a bit to blend in better with the Toads, Mario following suit. "I have reason to believe that maybe your brother became trash."

"…what?" Mario's eyebrows furrowed. "Are you a'calling my brother trash? He got a high score on his aptitude a'test, I'll have you know he's a'most likely to become a billionaire!"

"I don't know what that attitude test thing is." Peach replied. "Sorry, I was speeding through my thoughts. I mean, there's an area that the Warp Pipes lead to where discarded objects and trash typically end up. Maybe your brother ended up there, if he wasn't spat out in the Mushroom Kingdom like you were!"

"What, like a landfill?"

"No, it's more like… a place of fire and stone."

"What?!" Mario stopped in his tracks, whipping Peach around in front of him when she didn't stop at the same time.

"Calm down."

"Mama mia…" The plumber ran his hand over his head. "Luigi sweats if he has a'red pepper flakes on pizza! My brother's probably a'turned into a puddle by now!"

"We don't know if he's ended up there." Peach replied. "I'll just need to find out… Ugh, I don't know what to find out! We just need something, and the letters aren't helping me!"

Mario paused, his eyebrows furrowed again. "Letters? What a'letters?"

"…You live on the hill towards the woods, right?"

"Yeah, why— ACK!"

Grabbing him by the shoulder of his shirt, Mario was pulled away from the area, stumbling along behind the princess as she got out of the market with haste. However, she did make sure to smile and wave at whoever talked to her by name.

With the Toad Guard left behind, the pair traveled off the roads and through the grass. They climbed the hill to the scenic view Mario had at the top, and got through the front door.

Mario still had the cape feather resting on his coat hanger. Peach nearly bumped into the hanger when she slipped inside, pulling Mario in and closing the door firmly behind them. She locked it next, using both hands- when Mario was let go, he stumbled and spun away, before hitting the arm of the nearby couch and falling back onto it.

Peach glided across the small shelter Mario had, rummaging through her purse and finding the singular bottle she was collecting the rolled up letters in. However, before she pulled them out, she paused.

"…Mario."

"Huh? Yeah, itsa me." He murmured in reply, a bit tuckered out.

"Have you ever had a friend that's gone from normal to… really weird? Seemingly overnight?"

When asked, Mario needed a moment to reply. He slowly got back up, grunting as he sat up on one side of the couch. Taking that as an invite, Peach walked over and sat down next to him, holding her purse on her lap.

"…Yeah. I can a'name a pretty significant one."

"Tell me about it."

"Well… There was this kid who lived a'next door. His ma was a'friends with my ma." He rubbed his head. "I wouldn't say we were a'friends, really, just a'knew each other. But he was fine up until… the change."

"Change?"

"Puberty." Mario said grimly, remembering this person. "It was like his worst a'qualities became his only qualities. Brash, annoying, smug, always wants to win- be number one, he called it. His body and face changed so drastically, his nose became a'bigger and he started growing a mustache in this a'weird zig-zag pattern because it was his 'style' or whatever."

"That doesn't seem so bad."

"You'd a'think so, right? But then he became really greedy. He conned me and Luigi outta twenty bucks each once! And that was our allowance!" Mario was getting exasperated. "But the worst was his breath."

"Breath?"

"He started eating garlic. Raw garlic, whole a'heads of garlic." The plumber shivered, and Peach made a face. "And it wouldn't be a problem, but he could a'never shut up! He had this massive, body-shaking laugh that had his a'mouth open all the way. I can still hear it too… wahahaha…"

From the look on his face, and the way he whispered the laugh, Mario was definitely traumatized. Peach stared at the horrified Italian for a moment before slowly reaching into her bag and retrieving the black bottle.

"…what happened to him?"

"Oh, he joined a biker gang or something. I dunno."

"Well… Something a little similar has been happening to someone I've befriended." She said. "For the last few weeks, I've been writing letters to someone… outside the kingdom."

"You told me you all a'keep the gates to the kingdom closed down."

"We do. But this message came through the Warp Pipe. The one in the castle basement. I've been sending letters to a king of another kingdom, though I don't know the name of it yet." She handed the bottle to him. "But the most recent letter… he changed. Like really, really changed. I want you to read them and tell me what you think."

Mario hesitantly took the bottle. He tilted and gently shook out the letters, opening them up to read. Peach tried not to watch Mario so it wouldn't be awkward. She looked around the room, then settled at staring at the wall ahead of her.

Soon enough, Mario set down the final letter.

"This King Bowser guy a'sounds like a lot." He said, a frown on his face. "I can a'see why you're worried."

"What should I say to him? I don't really want to hurt his feelings." The princess replied. "But it feels like he's being really, really forward and I want to establish that I don't feel the same."

"As opposed to, what, letting him believe you're a'leading him on? No, you need to establish your a'boundaries now. If he actually likes you, he'll respect it."

"What if he takes it the wrong way?"

"Then that's a'his problem. If this was in a'Brooklyn, this Bowser guy would be receiving a fish head and some fellas with a'bats at their door with forward talking like that. Well, maybe not a'that bad, but the ladies in Brooklyn don't take a'this forwardness. Trust me, I know."

"You do?"

"Yeah, I used to date a girl from Brooklyn in high school." Mario replied, taking a moment to think back on Pauline. "…used. We're not a'dating anymore."

"I assumed, yeah." Peach paused. "Could you… write a reply?"

"Me?"

"Yeah. I don't think I can write it myself- if what you said about your hometown is right, then you could probably write a reply that asserts all kinds of boundaries then, right?"

"I suppose so."

"So write one! But don't make it sound too rough, you know? He might see through our plan."

"Right, a'right. Do you…?"

Peach presented a pink bottle, pink parchment and a pen to Mario.

"I always bring writing supplies wherever I go!" She said cheerfully. "Mostly for checks. Sometimes if I have recipe ideas."

"Good thinking."

Mario took the paper and smoothed it out on the table. He brought the fountain pen to the page- good thing his mother preferred using the same when he was living with her, otherwise this would be messy- and took one more glance to Bowser's letter before writing. With Peach looking over his shoulder, Mario penned the next reply.

---

Dear Bowser,

I respect your forwardness in inviting me to your kingdom, but I'm going to have to politely decline. I'm used to the dry, fairly cool temperature that exists in the seaside Mushroom Kingdom. I'd also like to ask that you not speak about my parents that way. They're flawed, and scared of the outside, sure, but I'm sure they have their own reasons. Your excitement for visitors came off a bit rude, if you don't mind me saying.

I do hope that, someday, we could see one another's kingdoms. Maybe when I pack enough heatwear! I'm confident that my parents' minds will change sometime soon. Perhaps when that happens, the Warp Pipe can be fixed and it won't just be trash coming to your kingdom! Maybe I'll be that first visitor- I sure hope I will be. But please, don't speak ill of my parents. I hope to speak with you soon.

Cordially, Princess Peach

She thought he was… rude?

The reading took Bowser by surprise. When he got the letter, he retreated to his bedroom to read it in private so Kamek wouldn't hear anything indicating that Bowser altered the last letter. He's glad it worked out that way, so his court wizard wouldn't have to read out the embarrassing response from the princess.

It was embarrassing because Kamek was right. Bowser's desire to be forward with Peach caused her to pull away… she said he was being rude! He didn't want to come off that way! He thought that she thought her parents were dumb too!

A deep frown was on the king's face as he read over the letter. All that trust was probably broken now… she most likely wouldn't even talk to him about her parents now that she knows that he thinks they're dumb. That seemed to be her biggest point of contempt.

And he put a winky face on the same paragraph it was on too! Ugh!

What does she know, anyway? He was just being nice! Can't she accept that he was being nice? Why would she even tell him about her stupid parents if it wasn't for him to agree they were stupid? Did she just want to vent on him without him even commenting? What is he, a therapist? Is she just using him?

…No. No, she wasn't. He was just saying— er, thinking that because he felt bad.

This was making him feel small. He didn't like feeling small. He hated that this woman he never even met was able to do these things to him, something nobody in the Dark Lands could ever do. Yet, at the same time, it was so… so invigorating.

Bowser had to make it up to her somehow. He couldn't let their contact end now, on such a sour note.

"Think, Bowser, think…" The king tapped the side of his snout with a claw. "What do the ladies like?"

There was a pause as the big koopa came up with nothing. He cleared his throat.

"KAMEK!"

Barely a second passed before his bedroom doors flew open. The Magikoopa flew in, hopping off his broom to walk further into the room, to the base of the platform that held Bowser's bed.

"Yes, my lord?"

"What do women like?"

"…Sire, I must say, you're asking the wrong Koopa about that."

"I'm trying to… send a pretty gift, to Peach!" Bowser quickly lied so Kamek wouldn't see his prior deception involving the letter. "I can't just send her a rock or something, I need something sweet for her! Something she'll like… do you think I could get an artist Koopa to paint a picture of my muscles?"

"Your burliness, I don't believe a picture suggesting vanity would be beneficial for furthering your relationship with Princess Toadstool." Kamek replied quickly. "She's clearly a very opinionated and levelheaded woman. Not only that, but she's genuinely interested in our kingdom and what remains of our culture. Perhaps a gift that is not only a token of the Dark Lands, but something she could admire?"

"Token of the Dark Lands… Something she can admire…" Bowser's finger touched his chin. Kamek could see the gears turn in his surrogate son's head before he spoke again. "Are you sure that's not just a self portrait?"

If there wasn't the possibility that he would be flung out of the castle from the force of a punch, Kamek would whack Bowser in the back of the head with the stick end of his broom. Instead, the wizard took a deep breath, slowly exhaling.

"I'm going back to my garden." He replied. "When you think of something that is not a portrait, please send for me. I will be happy to assist you."

"That's it!" Bowser perked up. "That garden! You grow flowers there, right?"

"Yes." Kamek said through his teeth. He started to murmur. "I've literally shown you the garden but of course, why would I expect the king of the Koopas to pay attention to something his most loyal and trusted subject wanted to show him?"

"Ladies like flowers!" Bowser clearly wasn't listening in. "I read that in a book once! We can send her one of our flowers! I sent her the lotus petal last time, but a whole flower should butter her up!"

"Why stop there? Why not send her some seeds?"

"Seeds? For flowers? That's a great idea! You're welcome for inspiring you."

"I'm honored by your brilliance, my lord." Kamek deadpanned.

"Go grab a few of those seeds for the most unique and special flower from that garden! We'll send it out to her, show her a little piece of the Dark Lands, and have her writing back in no time!"

"I'll make haste. Shall I prepare my quill to ghostwrite for you once more?"

"Nah, nah, I got it. I think I got it down pat. Go!"

At the command, Kamek left on his broom. Bowser hopped onto his stomach on his bed, reaching over to grab paper and a piece of coal to start his next letter to Peach, his legs kicking in the air with glee.

---

Peach thought that she had sensed the pipe rattling from her room. It had barely been a day since she sent out the letter to Bowser- she kind of expected the king to send a message back quickly, and part of her was hoping that he would.

She still felt iffy about the letter Mario wrote for her. Was it too mean? This was the first person outside of the Mushroom Kingdom she's ever spoken to, she didn't want to ruin the friendship she had with Bowser when it was just starting out. Hopefully he understood where she was coming from.

Lifting up her dress' skirt, she quickly descended the curved staircase to the basement. However, when she turned the corner to enter the pipe chamber, she was met with a different figure near the Warp Pipe- her father, holding the dark bottle Peach knew came from the Dark Lands.

The princess froze in her spot, her eyes widening. Hearing his daughter's footsteps, King Mushroom turned his head to look at her, his eyebrows furrowed.

"Hey, fuzz." He said as he fully turned to the princess. "I was down here to visit the big Chain Chomp when I saw this pop out of that big pipe."

"Huh! Yeah, that's… really weird."

"It is." Mushroom replied. "…why are you down here?"

"I was just… Wandering around. I was here to visit the Chain Chomp too."

"Uh huh." Holding the bottle by its neck, Mushroom gently pat the body into his other palm. "You were down here to look for this, weren't you?"

Dang, he's good. Where Chanterelle missed, Mushroom was there to pick up the slack. The king knew a lot about his daughter, that came with her connecting with him more than her mother, which made it much harder for her to try and outsmart him.

He seemed like the feckless king with a smart queen to a lot of other leaders in the kingdom, but Peach got her cleverness from somewhere, after all.

"If I say no, do I have a chance?"

"You do not." Mushroom replied. He didn't sound angry, he sounded disappointed. That stung deep in Peach's chest. "Since you've been expecting this bottle, that means it's happened more than once."

"How could you know that?"

"The fact your face is pinker than the inside of a vineyard peach."

The princess didn't have a response to that.

"What is this, Peach?" He asked, holding up the bottle. Mushroom shook it around and peeked inside. "I think I see… a piece of paper or two. Is this a letter?"

"…don't tell mother." She replied. "A while back, I… found this message in a bottle popping out of that green pipe. It's a message from someone, somebody from a different kingdom. I knew you and mother wouldn't be happy to see it, so I hid it from you, and… I've been talking to him for a while."

"Another kingdom? That means…" The king looked over the bottle again, taken aback for reasons unrelated to his daughter having a pen pal- something much different that she didn't know about.

King Mushroom looked back up at her. The princess was ready for her father to severely punish her with a lecture, or worse: letting her mother give her a lecture. However, she was taken by surprise when her father handed her the bottle silently in place of a reprimand.

"…Why are you giving it to me?"

"I don't…" The king huffed. "I don't want you to live in the dark, Peach. Your mother is a bit irrational when it comes to her fear of what's outside this kingdom, we both can agree with that. But your mother and I have always wanted you to be the leader the Mushroom Kingdom needs, and that involves interaction with the outside world. I want you to have a connection with someone, on the outside. To have that experience."

Hesitantly, Peach grabbed the offered bottle. However, the king's grip was as hard as steel, making her look back into her father's serious face.

"But," He continued. "Your mother is right about some things. You need to be careful. There's a reason the gates are closed at the kingdom's edge, and some people out there aren't interested in allegiance or being friends. Some people are more than willing to hurt you for whatever reason."

"Yeah, but…"

"Fuzz." King Mushroom was serious. "Please. Just keep your eyes open and your head screwed tightly on. You're a smart young woman, and I trust you, but don't let the glamor of what lies out there blind you from deceit. The last thing I'd ever be able to bear to see you hurt. Okay?"

"Okay, dad. Okay."

Slowly, the king let go of the bottle, letting his daughter take it with a furrowed brow.

Behind Peach, turning the corner into the chamber, Queen Chanterelle glided in. The princess turned around, looking at her mother alongside King Mushroom.

"Peach? Mushroom?" She was puzzled. "I was told Peach rushed down here… what's going on? What are you doing with that… bottle?"

"Hey, honey." King Mushroom returned to his casual personality. "Fuzz and I were just doing some bottle jiving!"

"Bottle… jiving?"

"Yeah! You know, making music by blowing into the hole of a bottle? The acoustics are great down here!"

"…Mushroom, the bottle has a cork in it."

"Huh… So it does! No wonder we couldn't get it to work." Mushroom put his hand on Peach's arm. "Fuzz, we can do this another time. Maybe next time I'll pick out a bottle that we can actually use! Go back to whatever you were doing before you came down here."

"Right. Right!" Peach nodded, still frazzled. She nodded to her parents. "Father. Mother."

Quickly, the princess left the room. Chanterelle was still bewildered, but when she looked back at Mushroom, the king gave her a comedic shrug and a single word: "kids!"

Peach ascended the staircase and glided through the antechamber, slipping past a few Toads with the bottle pressed to her chest tightly. A Toad Guard grabbed the door for the hustling princess, allowing her to walk out with very little stopping.

It was windy in Toad Town today. Standing on the moat bridge, at the side wall, Peach pulled the cork from the bottle and tilted it downwards. As she did, something came out of it- they looked like big specks of dust, really fuzzy white specks that were easily carried off by the wind.

The letter came out- it was more than one paper. Peach looked over the first page. She barely got through the first paragraph before she hurried off, leaving the bottle behind.

She was sure a Toad Guard would be after her soon, but she didn't care. Peach rushed through the brick streets of the town, slipping past different Toads, even vaulting over a Toad that was bent over to grab something off the ground.

"Excuse me, Ms. Toadyish!" She yelled back as she continued to run away.

Leaving the commercial district of the town, she headed into the residential. Peach broke from the normal walking path and into the grass, headed up the hill to the small home. She shouldn't have worn heels for this, but she was too far to stop now.

As soon as she got to the door, Peach rapped on it quickly.

Mario soon answered, the top half of his overalls hanging down. "Peach?"

"Mario!" The princess pushed herself in, closing the door to make sure she wouldn't be found and followed. "I got a letter back from Bowser."

"Already? Man, that a'guy is excitable."

"I wouldn't use that word to describe him. I got a new letter, but this one is two pages, front to back!" She held out the dark parchment to the plumber. "You need to look at this. I didn't read past the first paragraph but something is very wrong."

The Italian took the paper, walking away to sit down while he read. He sat down on his couch, swiftly joined by Peach right beside him, wanting to stay close to hear his commentary.

This letter was… a lot. Mario's brow became heavier and heavier as he read. The writing was in scribbles, compared to the neat handwriting that it was before. The mood shifted quickly, with hasty apologies to angrily telling Peach that he (Bowser) meant no harm, to being really remorseful and upset, back to apologies and a promise to give her a "very special gift" with the letter.

It was ended with a "Yours Respectfully, Bowser" and a small drawing of some kind of turtle with buff arms.

"Mamma Mia…" Mario murmured.

"Is this anything you've seen before from the garlic guy?"

"No, nothing like this…" The Italian was perturbed. "This reads a'really unhinged, Peach."

"I didn't mean to make him upset! I was just trying to establish boundaries."

"You were, Peach, don't a'worry about that. I think we're a'dealing with someone who has very little emotional control. I've seen it a lot, growing up."

"You have?"

"I'm an Italian, it what my family tree is a'fertilized with." Mario put the letter down. "You need to stop talking to this guy. I don't see any good a'routes past this point. Either you act like he's a'fine and let him continue to act out, or you respond negatively and he gets a'more upset. You need to stop a'this at the source and stop talking to him, period."

"Are you sure that's the best course of action?"

"He's causing you a lot of stress, Peach. You need to look out for yourself."

There was a moment of contemplation from Peach. The princess sighed, rubbing one of her eyes.

"So much for keeping touch with people from outside the kingdom…"

"Hey… You still got me."

Peach smiled a bit at the reassurance. "And Luigi."

"And Luigi, yeah… What was that a'gift Bowser gave to you anyway?"

"Gift?"

"Yeah, he talked about a gift at the end of the letter."

"I don't remember getting a gift."

A loud scream from outside made Mario and Peach both look at the door. They both got up, with Peach reaching the door first and tearing it open to see what was happening.

Unbeknownst to the audacious princess, those white specks she poured out of the bottle weren't pieces of dust or paper as she believed. In the Dark Lands, within wizard Kamek's award-winning garden, were some of the most beautiful and fascinating plants known to man; some dangerous, some very dangerous.

One in particular was a very, very rare plant that was actually a flora belonging to the same family of the Piranha Plant. Kamek had been gently growing it out of possible extinction for the last couple of years. This flower was a much larger than the typical omnivorous plants of its kin- it was called the Smilax.

Thanks to the unintentional actions of Princess Peach, Toad Town had a spread out bed of Smilax all near the castle of the village. With thorny stems and large, toothy maws, the super Piranha Plants were starting to terrorize the local Toads after growing at remarkable speeds- a feature of the plant that stood as the primary reason people outside of the Dark Lands wanted it extinct.

"The gift was evil flowers?" Peach thought aloud.

"Well, you can't say he didn't try to give you something a'pretty." The Italian was buckling his overall straps.

"Very funny, Mario. Come on!"

As the princess scurried off, Mario reached over and plucked his hat from the stand, then used his other hand to grab the Super Feather he still had up there. He swung the feather around like he was tossing something over his shoulder- in a puff of smoke, a golden cape swung around his back.

Grabbing his mallet from beside the door, Mario quickly left to follow the princess.

In the front rows of the market, a Smilax seed that landed in a bag of plant food now grew to a full mature level. The head of the Smilax was the size of a Toad itself, which made it even more terrifying as it towered over a Toad merchant frozen in fear after tripping and falling to his stomach.

Before the plant could strike like a snake, Peach was there, grabbing the Toad's vest and pulling him out of the way so the plant's head rammed into the brick walkway instead.

"Get out of here Toadhopper!" She said, pulling the Toad up to his feet.

The princess turned to keep herself- tall, fast and wearing bright pink- the primary target of the giant flower, the Smilax's head turning around as if to look at her. It didn't have eyes though, at least not any that Peach could see.

"Peach, heads up!"

Mario tossed his mallet up, spinning around and hitting it with his cape. The extra power behind the cape spin flung the mallet towards the princess, allowing her to grab it with both hands. Peach swung the hammer as hard as she could, hitting the plant in the side of the face.

It did nothing. Still smiling, the massive Piranha Plant didn't even move from the hit. It even made a clanging noise, as if its sharp teeth were made out of metal.

The plant swung its head back, before hitting Peach in the side, sending the princess flying through the nearby stall. When she came out on the other side, she was half her normal size- the side effect from those Super Mushrooms.

Before she could hit the ground, pink sparkles appeared around her legs, the skirt of her dress fluttering as well. She was steadied to land on her feet normally, the hammer clanging down beside her. Looks like those mystery magic legs came back with a vengeance.

"Gotta get back to the Toads!"

The little Peach grabbed the end of the hammer, picking up the handle and trying to run with it but finding it twice as heavy as it was before. She had to pull it behind her with some real strength, grunting and walking back towards the stands.

"Ugh! Dumb little strength! I need… A power-up."

Peach's eyes came to rest on a nearby market stand, one that was advertising all the mushrooms it was selling. She dropped the hammer and rushed off to get to the stall, bundling up her flooding dress to make sure she wasn't tripping over it along the way.

Back at the Smilax, Mario swung his cape to wrap around a nearby vase, spinning around to fling it into the side of the massive plant's head. The Smilax whipped its head around towards him, teeth bared in a sinister smile.

When the toothy plant snapped at him, Mario scampered out of the way. He swung his cape again, wrapping it around an industrial sized bag of mushroom flour, and flung it into the face of the plant again. The bag bust open, creating a big cloud of white dust that created a haze the plant couldn't see through.

After the plant looked around for its prey, he made himself known. Mario leapt up onto the front of the Smilax's face, grabbing onto the top of its head. The plant started swinging its head around, making Mario hold on for dear life as the Smilax tried to shake him off.

Mario pulled his hips back as the plant started snapping its teeth forwards, trying to catch the plumber in its teeth. With the rapid movement, Mario started slipping from the head of the plant due to both the snapping and the flour affecting the friction.

As he lost his grip, the Smilax snapped its jaws again, catching Mario in its maw. However, Mario had his hands up on the top "lip" of the massive Piranha Plant, his feet on the bottom, keeping the mouth of the toothy plant wide open. As he held it open, Mario groaned through his teeth, his strength pushed to its limits.

Behind the Smilax, up on the stand, the now fully regrown Peach climbed up onto the canopy with the hammer in hand. Using the bounciness of the canopy, the princess bounced forwards, lifting the mallet up above her head.

Using the momentum of the fall, Peach brought the hammer down into the back of the Smilax's head. It instantly disappeared in a puff of dust, with Mario finally let go from the jaws of the beast. Both Peach and Mario landed on the brick walkway, with the latter having to get on his hands and feet to properly land from the sudden destruction of the plant.

Peach glided over, offering her hand to him.

"Are you alright?"

"Yeah." He took the hand, standing up. "How'd you…?"

"The teeth keep you from hurting the side of its face. You have to hit it on the top of the head."

"Like a Goomba…" Mario murmured.

There were more screaming from nearby. Peach rushed by, still holding the mallet.

"C'mon, let's get rid of the others!"

Mario readjusted his hat and ran after her. "Here we go!"

Word spread pretty quickly that the top of the head was the weak spot to the big toothy plants. Mario and Peach helped get rid of the other Smilaxes, assisted by Toad Guards who were patrolling Toad Town that day.

At the castle, the front doors flew open, a bunch of Toad Guards flooding out. At the forefront were the king and queen, who had heard the screaming and commotion from inside.

"What's happening?" A Toad Guard said.

"Are those… Piranha Plants?" The king looked to the queen.

"Oh no… Where's Peach?!" She returned his gaze.

Behind them, one of the Toad Guard's spears knocked against the discarded black bottle on the moat's side wall. It fell to its side, rolling down and around to tumble down to the stone bridge, shattering on impact.

On the inside, a forgone Nipper seed- much larger than the others- was finally free from its container. The wind carried it away, weaving through the Toads and up to the front, in between the king and the queen staring at the carnage in town. It landed a few feet in front of them in the dirt trail leading through the front lawn.

The ground rumbled below, alerting Chanterelle and Mushroom that something was wrong. The area the seed landed on cracked, and a meandering thorny vine started to rise from it.

One of the rarest flowers found in the Dark Lands, even rarer than the Smilax, was another subspecies of the Piranha Plant that was an almost evolved version of the Smilax itself. It was just as large as a standard Smilax, but with a key difference: it had three heads. This plant was called the Megasmilax, and Kamek thought it was an especially unique gift for Peach on request of Bowser.

"A Megasmilax?" King Mushroom spoke softly, horrified.

The three heads of the plant swung around, extending out in front of itself to create a wild clothesline that hit the small group of Toad Guards behind the king and queen, knocking them off the bridge and into the water of the moat below.

King Mushroom and Queen Chanterelle, who had managed to duck before the attack could hit them, looked back at the empty bridge and up at the Megasmilax with equal expressions of terror.

The side heads of the Megasmilax snapped forwards, grabbing onto the shoulders of the monarchs' robes and lifting them upwards.

Having heard the commotion on the moat bridge, Peach and Mario had left the Toad Guards fighting those Smilax down in Toad Town to see the Megasmilax with both the king and queen in its maws.

"No!" Peach yelled.

The princess rushed forwards. As the center head of the Megasmilax lunged towards one of its prey, it was stopped with the hammer in Peach's hands. She stuck it in vertically, using the hammer to keep the vicious plant's mouth wide open before it could snack on the queen. When the plant shook its head violently, Peach stumbled back.

Now with a new person of interest, the Megasmilax turned, twisting its entire body to make all three of its heads face Peach. It closed its mouth and spat out the mallet- still intact- to the side. It showed the large row of teeth to Peach in a massive smile.

"Peach, run!" The queen yelled.

When the center head wanted to lunge forward again, this one was interrupted with Mario sliding in front of the princess. He spun around her, using his cape to knock the head of the Megasmilax back. Peach quickly left to grab the discarded hammer nearby.

Mario swung the cape back around and into the center head of the flower, wanting to hit it in the face once more. However, instead, the Megasmilax was ready- it snapped its teeth down on the cape and grabbed onto it.

Before the plumber could try to get away, the Megasmilax flung its head back, throwing Mario like a catapult over the moat bridge. He slammed into the castle bricks, right under the stained glass window with Peach's visage on it. When he did, the cape feater fluttered out of his body, his cape disappearing in a puff of smoke.

He fell, and he fell hard, right on his back. The cape feather floated down and faded from existence before it even hit the ground. Mario groaned from the pain he just experienced. Nearby, one of the Toads that was flung into the moat got up to the moat's edge, seeing Mario nearby.

"Mario!" The Toad Guard called out. "Are you okay?"

"Is that a'you, Miyamoto-san…?" The deliriously injured Mario replied softly, staring into the sun.

Peach managed to get the hammer in her hands. She twisted her body around to avoid another lunge of the Megasmilax's center head, and darted to one of the other heads- the one that held her mother.

She swung the mallet as hard as she could, trying to hit the top of its head. The head moved around so it would block it with its teeth instead.

"Peach, you need to get away from here!" The queen said.

"Not without you and dad!"

The princess ducked under another snap of the center head's teeth. As she got up, she swung the hammer around again to hit the other head, the one holding her father.

Before she could hit it, the Megasmilax's head moved around so it put her father in the path of the swing instead. Peach stopped the hammer before it could hit the king, then dove forwards and around that head to dodge the center head's teeth.

"These things are dangerous, Peach!" The king yelled.

"Maybe, but they have really soft heads. Like a baby!"

"Babies aren't this deadly!"

"Depends on the parents." Peach replied, amused.

The head with the king was snatched away, the Megasmilax turning its body to face Peach head on again. Gripping the mallet tightly, Peach stood still to act as bait for the center head.

When the Megasmilax snapped forwards expectedly, Peach stepped back, but immediately swung the hammer down onto the top of the center head of the vicious plant.

As she slammed the hammer down, two things happened: it didn't immediately disappear, meaning more force was needed to destroy the plant; and the other two heads flipped upwards in reaction, flinging the king and queen up into the air above them.

Peach watched her parents fly far up into the air. She tossed the hammer away and hopped onto the top of the Megasmilax's head.

The center head swung upwards, flinging the perilous princess up after her parents.

Both the king and queen had met their peak in the air, but before they could fall down too far, Peach intercepted them, grabbing onto both her parents and holding on tightly.

They tumbled through the air for a moment, getting their grip on one another.

"Peach! What are you…?"

"Don't worry, mother. I got this."

Peach really hoped that she had this.

Her dress' skirt puffed up almost like a parachute, widening out and showing the white frills underneath it. Her parents couldn't see, but her legs sparkled with pink. Suddenly, Peach and her parents were floating through the air.

Maybe Peach couldn't control these cool floaty powers, but she knew when they were most likely to activate. Hopefully this was the first step to her being able to control it.

All three of them looked down at the Megasmilax.

"The weak spot is the top of its head." Peach told her parents.

"You tried hitting it with that hammer and it didn't do anything!"

"Maybe we just need a little more force." The king replied to his wife, winking at Peach.

Peach grinned back at him.

"Peach?" Chanterelle spoke.

"Trust me mother, we'll be fine. Just hang on, and think about stomping a bug!"

Down below, as Mario slowly rolled to his stomach, he weakly looked up to see the Megasmilax turn back around towards him. The Toad Guards were all getting out of the moat as well, with barely a fourth of them up on dry land and trying to get the others out.

However, Mario's attention was brought upwards. The Megasmilax looked upwards as well, in time for something to crash down onto it.

Together, with their feet all down at the same level, the king, queen and princess all stomped down into the center head of the Megasmilax together. With the help from the distance they fell, and the velocity they accrued, the massive three-headed plant never stood a chance.

The two side heads of the Megasmilax flew in opposite directions, landing nearby but soon disappearing in a puff of smoke. When the dust settled, Peach and her parents were in the place where the Megasmilax was just moments prior, picking themselves up.

Still aching, Mario got up to his feet. He stumbled over to where Peach was, leaning against the end of the moat's side wall for support.

"Peach." He called out.

"Mario!" Peach floated over, putting a hand on his arm to help him stay up. "Are you alright?"

"A little busted, but nothing I haven't a'been through before in Brooklyn." The plumber weakly chuckled. "What even was that thing? Any of them?"

"That… was a Megasmilax." Chanterelle answered, walking up with King Mushroom. "I assume the other ones in town are simple Smilaxes… They're from the Dark Lands."

The king and queen turned, with Mario and Peach looking past to watch a group of Toad Guards take out the last Smilax in Toad Town together. It didn't last long, as Peach stood up on her own and cleared her throat.

"The Dark Lands?" She asked, when her mother's attention was on Peach again.

"…right. The Dark Lands."

Another moment of silence. King Mushroom loudly cleared his throat to get his wife's attention- he pointedly looked at his daughter and then back at her, his lips in a tight thin line. Chanterelle sighed.

"The Dark Lands," She said firmly. "Is a kingdom of stone, and fire, and lava. It's a place where black magic spreads, and malice takes hold. I thought that all access to that kingdom was destroyed, but it appears I was wrong. I don't know how those Piranha Plants made their way here…"

The princess gave her father a side eye, a gaze returned by the king. He cleared his throat again, though not as loud as before.

"I guess the pipes in the basement is leaking out some stuff from there." He said. "It might be best, for the safety of Toad Town, to close the end of the pipe for now."

"…right. That would probably be best." Peach added.

It was clear that the queen noticed how disappointed the princess sounded. She opened her mouth to speak for a moment, then closed it, then opened it again.

"It's called a Warp Pipe." Chanterelle said to her daughter. "It's one of many that's scattered throughout the kingdom… the entire world. It's an ancient means of traveling between kingdoms that I had previously believed was shut down. It was- or, I suppose, is connected to a massive transportation system called the Warp Zone."

"It's connected to the rest of the world? Why didn't you just tell me that before?"

"Excuse me for believing that the same daughter who willingly fought a Megasmilax wouldn't immediately leap into a Warp Pipe upon hearing the it led to the rest of the world."

"…touche."

"The Dark Lands are exactly why I didn't want you to know. Why I was so wary of it. That place is dangerous, and I wanted to maintain safety."

"Toad Town proved it can handle a few plants, mother."

"I don't mean Toad Town, I mean you. I always mean you." The queen replied. "But… I can't hide the truth from you forever. At least about the Warp Zone. Especially if it's to help Mr. Mario here return to his home kingdom."

"Thatsa me." Mario waved a little.

"You'll find more information about the Warp Zone in the undercroft."

"The undercroft? You never let me go in there!"

"It's dark and murky down there, I don't even want Toadsworth to go down there. But if you need to find out the most probable areas that Mario's sibling would end up, you'll find a full map of Warp Pipe locations in Mushroom Kingdom down there. It might be outdated, but I doubt the pipes could move. Just be careful with the door to the undercroft, Toads have trouble reaching the doorknob."

The queen sighed, as if she felt a weight leave her shoulders. It wasn't everything, but she was happy she could share a bit of ancient history with her daughter. The relief outweighed the worry she had for Peach's safety. Rolling her shoulders, Queen Chanterelle composed herself again.

"If you'll need me, I'll be in my quarters recovering from this harrowing experience. Good day."

And with that, the queen was off, walking across the moat bridge to the doors of the castle.

King Mushroom stayed behind for a moment. He opened his mouth, but closed it, then settled on just winking and firing a finger gun at his daughter before he quickly ran after his wife to accompany her.

The pair waited for the wet Toad Guards to hustle past, but finally spoke when they were alone.

"So, Warp Pipe."

"Yeah!" Peach smiled and turned to Mario. "I mean, I already knew it was called that, but I had no idea we had information on it here in the castle!"

"Glad your mom is a'finally trusting you with something new, eh?"

"Absolutely! This is going to be stellar! With the maps and info on the pipes, we'll find Luigi in no time!"

"When are you going a'down in the undercroft?"

"Soon, don't worry. Probably when my parents are out, I don't want them fussing over me."

"I could a'help if you want."

"I appreciate it! I'll need someone to carry those documents. And maybe more…"

"Well, if you need a place to keep them a'stored out of your parents' watchful eye, I can always keep them at my place. The temporary one. We can a'look over those maps there, too. Maybe over lunch?"

"That sounds lovely."

Peach, still smiling, patted Mario's shoulder before starting to walk back into the castle.

"Thanks for your help, Mario!"

"No problem. Anytime."

The princess went into the castle. The plumber started slowly hobbling back to his temporary home.

---

It was a dark, dark and awful day when Kamek had bad news to give to Bowser.

Well, being fair, it was always a dark and awful day in the Dark Lands. The local volcano billowed out black smoke that blotted out the sun indefinitely, leaving the lava and fire to illuminate the nearly barren landscape. It was called the Dark Lands for a reason.

Flying into the gaping jaws of Bowser's face- the one that made up the castle entrance- Kamek used magic to open the heavy front doors. It immediately knocked into a bunch of Koopa Troopas, sending them all flying out of their shells.

With his geometric magic glittering the area around him, Kamek stopped and hopped from his broom before the massive throne where King Koopa sat.

"King Koopa, your… splendaciousness." The wizard said with hesitance in his voice.

Seeing Kamek fly in, knowing he came from his garden, Bowser sat up straighter in his throne. He gripped the arms of his chair tightly, leaning forwards.

"Kamek! Is there…? Did you find…?"

From the look on Kamek's face, the news wasn't good. He reached into his robe and pulled out a bottle for Bowser to view- it wasn't a pink bottle, but a dark bottle from Bowser.

"The letter we had tried to send Peach… It returned to us. It never reached her."

Bowser's face went from confusion, to shock, to more confusion and then mild anger. Well, mild for the King of the Koopas.

"What?!"

"I think the Warp Pipe to Peach may be blocked off."

"Or her wretched parents are keeping her from speaking to me!"

The Koopa Troopas in the area all cowered as the fiery king rose to his feet. The only one not affected was Kamek, whose eyebrows furrowed as he looked up at Bowser.

"Sire, maybe…"

"No, Kamek! We've done everything you wanted!" He replied. "I'm trying to make an emotional connection and pour my heart out to someone in another kingdom, and of course her dumb parents have to ruin it! Not this time!"

"What are you suggesting, your ferociousness?"

"Send out the Koopatrol! Find someone, anyone we align with that is willing and able to head to this Mushroom Kingdom to find Princess Peach! They can send me information about what she's doing, how she's holding up, and in what way her dictator-adjacent parents are imprisoning her!"

"I'll see what I can do. But my lord, if you don't mind me asking…"

"I do."

"…what do you expect to find when you send this mole to the Mushroom Kingdom, exactly?"

"Peach being held captive, in a tower, with her awful parents holding her there!"

"And what if it isn't that?"

"Then there must have been a misunderstanding. Something Peach and I can talk about." Bowser replied, seeming more desperate than angry now. "We can work something out. I won't let my only connection outside this awful kingdom be severed like this. I won't be alone. I won't feel alone anymore. I refuse."

"If you're sure." Kamek was still hesitant. "Then… What if Peach and her parents aren't willing to be understanding? What if they don't want to keep a connection?"

The hypothetical scenario clearly hit something very, very deep within Bowser. His face changed, his eyes darting around to see the different Koopa Troopas staring at him. It was like they too wanted to know, and they too had a glimpse into who Bowser really was, like Kamek did.

He looked horrified, then angry, then a bit upset, then very angry- and that's "very angry" for the King of the Koopas, so it made the Troopas all cower again. Bowser roared, fire blasting out of his maw, the only one staring with anything other than fear being the worried Kamek.

"Then we'll plan an invasion and send our troops to the Mushroom Kingdom to take it over, whether they like it or not! I WILL HAVE PRINCESS PEACH!"