"Do you have heart?!"
It was pitch dark night in the city of Trost, only a few torches illuminating the night, yet the cadets of the 104th training corp each stood straight, perfectly focused as they'd been trained to do when a superior was speaking to them.
Their thought process was predictable. Those in the top ten would pick the Military Police, seeking a life with whatever comfort they could gather for themselves and their loved ones inside Wall Sina; fine with staying away from the battlefield as the world burned.
Those outside were content with the Garrison, though disappointed they could rise through the ranks and perhaps earn their right into the Military Police if they coveted a prominent position; and they would mostly be safe, assuming Wall Rose wasn't breached.
As for the Survey Corps, well... nobody was truly entertaining the idea. And, it was completely understandable. Why would a person join the alleged 'death branch' where the average soldier lived a meagre two expeditions on average? The pay was horrible, even worst than the Garrison, and even those skilled, and lucky, enough to survive and become a veteran soldier were mentally scarred for life. Cursed to witness their friends die around them. Truly, a person would need to be insane to become a Scout.
Yet, three were set on joining the Survey Corps.
An older man wearing a green uniform screamed out, announcing to the other cadets. "You have three options after you graduate from the Trainee Corps today! The Garrisons, which reinforces the Walls and protects each city! The Survey Corps, which risks life and limb to venture into Titan territory outside the Walls! And the Military Police, which serves under the king by policing the people and preserving order! Of course, the only ones allowed to join the Military Police are the top ten trainees who were previously named!"
Mikasa Ackerman, Eren Yeager, Reiner Braun, Bertolt Hoover, Annie Leonhart, Jean Kirstein, Marco Bott, Ymir, Sasha Braus, and Connie Springer. Each of them held a hand over their chest, some more genuine than others, and stood tall in front of their comrades.
Eren almost felt nervous, having never been in front of so many people, but relaxed and tried not to look to his left. He didn't want to feel sympathy for the Warrior, knowing his goals require their deaths, but it was more than that. The memories he held, both his own and not, made every inch of him shake with uncontrollable rage. Restraining himself was difficult, and made harder the closer the Trost invasion approached.
Eren knew their backstories, who they were, the people they had to return to. It was quite sad they had to die, but their days had been numbered years prior. When they inherited their Titans they forfeited their lives, and they were fated to die in maybe just over half a decade. Much like himself.
Eren could have lashed out and murdered them many times, but he didn't. It was a horrible idea, to attack whilst three remained, and if possible he'd pick them off without a direct fight.
What he needed was allies. Ones who shared his goals, and ones who would fight with him.
Eren caught the eighth placed cadet's eye, with her narrowing with them, as though she expected an answer. In response, he nodded.
Feeling his neck strain, Eren faced forwards again. Planting seeds made his weary, but it was everything.
Eren would see how they grew.
The sound of graduates cheering and speaking could be heard through the silent night sky as a lively atmosphere settled in the mess hall. There were some notable exceptions, but for the most part everyone was happy as a clam.
"This shit tastes horrible. Maybe in the Military Police they'll have better shit to drink, maybe even some juice." Jean complained out loud, putting emphasise on his military choice so that Eren could hear, and Marco laughed at his words.
"They probably will, frankly I'm surprised they even gave us this to drink." Marco held his cup out, letting everyone see the ginger ale it contained.
Thomas, being a more positive member of the group, gave his two cents. "Hey, don't trash it too hard. Sure, it's terrible, but at least it's different. I can't even remember the last time I drank anything other than water." When he added that last part, the other young soldiers understood.
Trost was the city many of them were from, and they all remembered it well. How their stomachs were constantly empty after Maria fell, the loss in territory leaving them hungry, food becoming overpriced. It was trying times for all of them, and only ended when territory retrieval operation resulted in the deaths of hundreds of thousands, decreasing the burden on food supply.
Reiner lightened the mood, holding a cup up and making a toast. "Don't let yourselves get down! All of us are soldiers now, and we'll fight together on the frontlines some day! I can't wait to fight with each and every one of you, and when we're old and grey, we'll look back to this with drinks in our hands! To the 104th!"
Bertolt sweated, but nodded and raised his cup with everyone else and cheered just like them, and Annie glared at him mildly with distain. All three of them missed Eren's face contort for a moment, but it returned to normal when he took a gulp of his watered down alcohol.
The Shiganshina trio were enjoying each others company, drinking occasionally with restraint, as Armin and Eren did most of the talking.
The topic changed when Armin asked, careful with his words. "Hey, Eren. Tomorrow, are you gonna be alright? I know you need to do this, but there are risks to what you're doing."
Mikasa glanced at him out of reflex, but didn't say anything. They'd already discussed his reasons, and she knew she couldn't stop him.
Eren's hand twitched slightly, but he just refuted under his breath. "This needs to be done, Armin. I know there are risks here, but they can't be allowed to keep doing this. The risk to me is minimal anyway, and their lives are in my hands. I can't just throw them away, Armin."
The blonde relented, raising his voice slightly. "I know. Just be careful, okay. We promised we'd see the ocean together, and once we take back Maria it's just on the horizon. My dreams are worth nothing if you two aren't there with me."
Eren smiled back at his best friend, appreciating the familiar but still touching words. "Same here, Armin."
He's known Armin since the day after Wall Maria fell, after he ate his father, and that makes him the person he can trust the most. Armin might have been hopeful, and maybe even slightly naïve, but he knows what they need to do. War was bad, but some things are worst.
Like genocide, be it by the Warriors or the rumbling.
It was easy for him, since he never let himself get attached to the Warriors, but Mikasa and Armin couldn't say the same. Eren was worried that might affect their judgement, but he couldn't exactly have let the two of them in on who they really were.
A voice interrupted the three old friends, making them turn around to see Thomas, Nack, and Mina. "Hey Eren, you're second in class right, are you still going to the Scouts?"
Eren nodded. "Of course. The Survey Corps have been my goal since say one, and I came here to learn to fight Titans. The Military Police can stay in Sina for all I care, but I'm taking back my home."
Thomas gained a conflicted expression, shouting out thoughtlessly. "Don't you see we can't beat them!"
The blonde's outburst had gained the attention of the other cadets, and when met with their stares he withdrew slightly. He didn't stop talking though. "Can't you see that it's hopeless. Since when has mankind ever beaten the Titans? All the Scouts do is die when they go out there. We can't beat them, all we can do is try to survive."
The food court was silent for a moment, but it was broken by Eren as he heavily put his mug of watered down beer on the table.
"We aren't living though, are we? Sure, maybe we could survive if we just abandon the outside world and stick inside the Walls. We could be content to throw everything we could be away. Our dignity, our fight, the sacrifices we made to learn about them. But, how can we really be okay with that?"
Eren got off his seat, making sure to meet Thomas' eyes. "Maybe we can survive behind the Walls, but the only way we can really live is if we reclaim the outside world. The ocean, deserts, icecaps and lakes of fire. All of that is waiting for us behind those fucking walls! Where's your pride, your curiosity, your bravery?! Everything could be ours, we just need to grab it and hold on like the stubborn bastards we are!"
He turned around, taking in the faces of everyone listening as he let passion leak into his voice. "Those things are walls, and every wall falls eventually. The Walls will fall eventually, hell they already have! I was there, the Colossal Titan kicked Maria down like a sandcastle, and they aren't done yet! The Walls could all fall tomorrow, and then we're all even more fucked than we already are! Maybe we can't beat them, but lying down and making the rest of humanity do the same won't save us! What will is fighting for our right to truly live, be it inside the Walls or outside!"
Eren whipped his eyes back to Thomas, and plainly told the boy this. "You're from Trost, aren't you? I bet a lot of you guys are. You have families and friends here in this very city, and it'll be next when they come for Rose! Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but soon enough Wall Rose will fall! Maria being rendered uninhabitable was bad enough, Sina won't sustain half of the people living here! All of you are from Wall Rose or Maria, if you weren't then you wouldn't be a soldier, and I'm begging you to open your eyes and see that this is the only way!"
Eren was internally pleased to see their stunned expressions, especially Reiner and Bertolt's, and went for the finisher. "We take back the world, or the world takes us. There's no in-between. The enemy falls, or we do. Maybe we'll fail, but... we have to try."
A dominating silence radiated throughout the air, and everyone seemed to be afraid to disturb it. Eventually though, a clap pierced the air, and it soon evolved into a roaring crowd that brushed the silence away and replaced it with the occasional cheer coming from a particularly bold cadet.
Eren smiled, noticing the fond looks Mikasa was sending him and the thoughtful faces of several members of the 104th Cadet Corps. He also caught the stone cold expression on the normally easy-going Reiner's face, and in a moment of weakness let his true feelings slip in the form of a glare, one which made Reiner falter slightly from the sudden hostility. He reigned himself in though, choosing to let the Armoured Titan continue to believe he was hidden.
He'd show them what he felt, soon enough.
"That was quite the inspiring speech you gave back there, did you practice it yourself?" Armin asked as the Shiganshina trio walked through the streets of Trost, all three of them tired from the party and wanting to turn in for the night.
Eren answered honestly, his arm linked with Mikasa's. "no, just came up with it on the spot. That's kind of how the three of us work. You have the brains, Mikasa is the protector, and I'm the speech writer. Amongst other things." He added that last bit under his breath, but the other two still heard him and laughed at his remark. Even Mikasa gave a rare chuckle; knowing the hidden meaning behind his words.
The three of them sat on some stone stairs, stargazing into the night. It was serene and peaceful, yet the three of them knew what was coming tomorrow, so Eren disrupted their moment by stating. "Tomorrow is the day Rose will be breached. After I close the hole we'll need to find out what we do next, and who we can trust to help to help us beat the Warriors."
Armin nodded sadly, but he still asked sharply. "Who are they, Eren? You said you'd tell us who they were before graduation, and I think it's about time you answered us. Which of our friends are the Titans?" He added that last part with a wistful tone that made Eren have to withhold sighing.
Mikasa was also clearly curious so Eren said. "You won't be able to look at them the same way again, and everything you built with them will be burned. It might not even be necessary for you to know, so how-"
Mikasa took his hand, squeezing it as she firmly stated. "Eren, we need to know who they are? Like it or not, I'm not going anywhere and neither is Armin. If you decide to fight them, then they fight both of us too. So please, don't try to keep the truth from us."
Eren held her hand back, tracing it slightly. "I know Mik, and your right. I shouldn't keep the truth from you, even if it hurts, so here it is. Bertolt is the Colossal Titan. Reiner is the Armoured Titan. And Annie is an unknown, but definitely a Titan too."
This knowledge made disbelief spread on both their faces, but Mikasa more so than Armin. Eren stated. "You already found out, didn't you Armin."
The blonde nodded, looking pale but otherwise surprisingly composed. "Well, you said they were in the 104th, so the options on who they are were limited. They'd have had prior training, so they'd probably be in the top ten, but... I still didn't wanna believe it. I mean, Annie is a loner, but still she was never cruel. Bertolt was always withdrawn, but he was kind. And Reiner..." He trailed off, his voice all but screaming hurt, but he shook his head and stopped talking.
Mikasa's reaction would have appeared non-existent to most, but to Eren he could tell the subtle signs. Her grip had tightened slightly, her expression tightened up, and she looked down onto the floor with her mouth sealed shut.
Eren didn't have as strong of a reaction, since he'd known for years, and didn't hesitate to speak out. "Look, I know that whatever they felt for those years- it probably wasn't completely false. They probably do consider us friends to some extent, but that clearly isn't enough to make them stop this slaughter. It might be difficult, but it's in our best interest if we... if we were to capture and kill them without a fight. I know it's a lot to ask, but this place is in our hands. Me stopping their attack will make me their target, and if they capture me I'll be eaten by one of their own and with the Founder in their hands they'll... well I don't wanna think about it. They made their choices, and I'll try to stop them for it, and you guys don't need to fight them if you don't want to."
Eren didn't know what he could have said to them. He didn't want to manipulate his friends by keeping information, or painting the Warriors out to be heartless monsters, so he just gave them the truth. That yes, despite being our friends, they wanted us all eaten alive by Titans, and if Marley succeeded they'd conquer the world using the Founding Titan. So, he was going to try and stop them, without those two if necessary.
Armin instantly shut down that idea, his face contorting with disbelief as though the notion was impossible. "Eren, how could you even say that? You're my best friend, and I'd follow you to hell. Reiner and Bertolt- it hurts to know what they really are, but losing you would hurts a hundred times more. I won't let you fight them alone, Eren."
The resolute answer was unexpected, but Eren hardly had time to digest it as Mikasa doubled down on the blonde boy's sentiment. "Same here. I care about you more than anyone else, Eren. The thought of losing you- it's too much for me to bear. I don't care if they were our friends, if they try to take you from me then I'll cut them down all the same. Please, just stay by my side Eren."
If Armin's words surprised him, then Mikasa's left him shellshocked. She sounded so sure of herself, as though she meant every word, and for some reason it made his heart skip a beat as his face heated up a little.
Eren coughed, awkwardly offering. "Great, I feel the same way. In fact, all of this is just so that we can finally be together, so that we can be a real family and not have to worry about Marley, and the Warriors, and death- freedom means nothing to me without you in it. I hope you know that, Mikasa." He was also going to mention Armin, but his name didn't leave Eren's mouth in that moment, and an air of tension descended on them.
Mikasa flushed mildly, burying her face in his scarf as she timidly nodded. "Thank I- thanks." She cringed at her stutter, and lamely kept to herself afterwards.
Armin looked over at the two of them, shifting in discomfort, before he smiled slightly and stood up much to their surprise. "I think I'll head back to the barracks, you two have a nice night."
Eren was about to get up and follow Armin, but stopped himself when he realised what his friend was doing, instead he just watched Armin's back as he left the two of them alone with nothing but the night's silence.
The two of them sat there, both afraid to move too much, and Eren tried to steel himself. He failed miserably though, with his thoughts derailing quickly, just breathing became difficult.
Mikasa also looked still, with her face half buried in her scarf, and Eren knew exactly the reason why. He wasn't the most socially adept, but he wasn't so dense that he couldn't see her feelings for him clear as day.
Part of him wishes he was though, it would have made his relationship with her easier to deal with.
Not to say he disliked Mikasa, that was practically impossible no matter how he looked at it, but the way she made him feel was... indescribable. She was kind, protective, strong, beautiful, loyal to a fault. What else could he have asked for in someone?
At times he was tempted to just tell her how he felt, since she obviously felt the same way, but it was just difficult for him. She was his weakness, and the thought of spending the rest of his life with her put a smile on his face. He even wondered what starting a family with her would be like-
But, he always stopped himself. No matter what he did, he would die at twenty-three and leave her alone. Logically, he knew that she'd regret not getting to love him for the time he had left. But- things are never that simple!
Eren didn't notice Mikasa budge closer to him slightly, and he sighed before asking her a question. One which could change everything for him. Her answer would be his answer, it depended on her.
With a dry throat, meeting her eyes, he asked heavy chested. "Mikasa, why- why do you stay so close to me?"
Mikasa jumped at the sudden and intense question, her flush deepening as she raised her head and struggled to maintain eye contact. "H-huh?"
"All this time you've been so loyal to me, you keep me so close. So, do you-" Eren gulped, his breath hitching. "Do you only do that because I saved you, or- or do you- do you love me?"
Eren hoped that she allowed both their feelings, that she could make this simpler for him by just saying the words he wanted to hear. He wouldn't need to make excuses then. He wouldn't need to keep his feelings to himself then. He wouldn't need to spend the rest of his days without her as his, and only his.
Mikasa stammered, lighting up crimson when the word 'love' was mentioned, and she looked anywhere but into his eyes. overwhelmed, the usually stoic girl spoke as though she was tripping over herself.
"Lo-love?! I- I, uh, Eren you- what do you mean by that?!" Eren knew he would never do it, but part of him wanted to smack Mikasa. If only to snap her out of the impossible stutter she was handling.
Against his instincts, Eren calmly repeated himself with his embarrassment slowly being replaced by mild irritation. "I mean, do you love me? Like a man loves his wife, not like a brother loves his sister." He made sure to put extra emphasise on the 'not' part, since he wasn't even hearing that excuse.
Mikasa only seemed to lose herself even more, with the literal super soldier who could snap necks like twigs not even able to respond to the question.
Eren pulled at his hair lightly, and just stating. "I'm not so dense that I wouldn't notice how you act, Mikasa you- you obviously have some sort of feelings for me. I don't know how deep they run, but- dammit, I just want to be with you. I- I love you, okay! I'd happily start a family with you if I could!"
The blushing girl went still when she heard those words, utterly shocked Eren's mouth would ever breathe those words, but she still didn't respond. She just wasn't able to speak, her mouth was so dry, and her head hurt so much. Of all the times she could have had a headache. There was so much she wanted to say to him, but her lips would hardly budge.
Eren couldn't believe he said those words, but instead of thinking about it he was just annoyed she wouldn't respond to him. He was literally giving her the perfect opportunity to confess her feelings, yet she wasn't doing anything.
Eren turned his head to her, his eyes slammed shut in frustration. "Oh, for the love of- just say somethi-"
Mikasa shut him up, by swiftly grabbing him and bringing his lips onto hers. Even she didn't anticipate her own actions, and her wide eyes showed that, but soon enough she eased into it whilst he was still reeling.
Though, she cut herself off and pulled away, and swallowed before awkwardly whispering. "I-I love you too, Eren."
Then, like magic, her headache disappeared.
Yeah, this is a new AOT fic that will replace my old one. Because looking through it, I mean, yikes. It was a learning experience though, and I want to think I've gotten a lot better than when I started seven months ago. If you want to support me then go to my P atreon, thanks for reading.