It had taken several days work of dealing with idiots, but he managed to secure a new wand that didn't come from Ollivanders. More than that, he had managed to secure a spot for the best show in a while.

Lucius Malfoy having a mental breakdown upon finding out he was almost destitute...all because of his son.

But the fun hadn't stopped there. Lucius was already calling in favors to try and salvage his family fortune...except even more families were learning with some horror that their own fortunes were in jeopardy of being gone.

Harry managed not to laugh or cackle as the darker pure bloods and some of the lighter ones were quickly learning that there had been a shift in power.

Political or personal power was fine in it's own right, but Tom had never understood that the easiest way to force Pure bloods to dance to his tune was to control the money.

September first came far too quickly for his tastes. While he had set up his system to be self-sustaining, sometimes the market changed too quickly for a once a year check.

He had to wait for the technology to catch up...and for the Japanese to figure out a way to make laptops work. He hated being stuck in the early age of computers and the internet.

He had gotten used to WiFi, and now he was stuck in the hellish age when dial-up internet was still considered the best option.

He found himself confronted by Vernon right as the man was dropping him off at King's Cross station.

"Tell me boy, how are you going to handle these so-called pure bloods if they bring up their missing gold?"

"Same way I dealt with them in my time, Uncle Vernon," said Harry with an evil gleam in his eyes. He pulled out a clipboard with very official looking forms and a proper badge complete with identifying number.

It took Vernon a few moments to recognize the forms on the clipboard, before he started laughing. Hard.

"Nothing says you're my bitch now like an Auditor who has a grudge to grind," said Harry cheekily.

Harry was more than some paltry Auror.

He was one of the people that not even the goblins would piss off.

An auditor. One word from him (along with the appropriate forms filled out and in triplicate) and he could have any death eater or higher up bogged down in so much paperwork and bureaucratic back talk that they'd be unable to do anything or even spend a single knut without filing at least ten forms in triplicate and explaining in excruciating detail exactly why they were spending it. And then it would have to be checked, rechecked, lost, found and then stamped...three months in advance.

Needless to say Percy was by far one of his favorite Weasleys...even if it had taken months before he had the chance to explain why he was an Auditor and not an Auror.

Ron had never really forgiven him after he said something to piss Harry off enough that he put him under an audit.

Best of all, any forms he submitted would stick, because Harry had gone in a week ago and filed all appropriate forms in advance to reactivate his badge in the past.

Again, Time travelers really weren't as rare as Hermione would have thought. So long as they filled out the right forms, any power they held inside the Ministry could be reactivated within reason.

Usually it was an Auror or Unspeakable that got sent back...they were much more active. It was odd for a high ranking Auditor to fall prey to the phenomena.

Then again, Harry had always preferred to see the horrified looks of his 'victims' up close and personal, behind conjured shields when they got the news.

Harry could see the open respect in Vernon's face. He couldn't hold with magic...it made things too easy in his opinion...but a petty bureaucrat was another matter.

Besides, Harry had been helping Vernon outwit the Internal Revenue Service since he came back in exchange for minor things he didn't get the first time...like properly fitting clothes and a new pair of prescription glasses.

Vernon was all too happy to hand over the paperwork to his nephew, especially when the check came back a hundred pounds higher than he normally got.

"Give them hell boy."

"Take what you can, give nothing back. Payback is a bitch, and I fully intend to collect if it means giving that old goat and the sheep a reason to leave me the hell alone."

Harry had been rather vindictive when he started forcing all those idiots who wrote the Harry Potter "books" to file them as fiction and to repay him for all the bullshit they had been spreading for the past ten years under his name.

Vernon helped his nephew take out his trunk, place it on a trolley, and waved cheerfully at him before he pulled out.

It was really amazing how much better his home life was now that he was able to push the right buttons and stay on their good side.

It didn't hurt that Dudley's bad behavior had taken a massive hit with Harry convincing Vernon to put his foot down on his allowance. Most of the expenses on his tax forms were related to them spoiling the overweight brat.

Dudley had to maintain a certain grade point average without cheating, and he had to get into a healthy weight class. In exchange Vernon paid for boxing and martial arts lessons, as well as upgrades to any new technology.

Dudley had not been happy, but thanks to wandless magic, Harry was able to cut off any whining almost immediately.

His attempts to 'starve' himself were met with complete failure and actually contributed to him losing ten pounds.

Petunia had been upset, right until Harry provided several scientifically proven documents on the health risks of being that obese so young and telling her of the multiple health issues Dudley had had before Harry accidentally came back in time.

Like the three separate heart attacks in a period of two years. Harry only knew of those because mind-boggling enough, Dudley had named him as his emergency contact.

Harry was busy catching up on his reading when Ron walked in. He took one look at the rather complicated muggle science journal (thanks to the wonder of personal post boxes and the fact Petunia could live with an owl around the house to send to Harry) he was keeping up-to-date on the latest discoveries to make an even bigger profit using money from people who had pissed him off.

It wasn't that he even cared about the money...he just liked using it as a way to get the collective idiots that made up the magical society to leave him the hell alone.

Ron took one look at the book and backed away slowly before finding a car that wasn't filled with bookworms.

Unlike the first time, it took seven tries before someone was desperate enough to sit with him. That person was Hermione and a very nervous Neville Longbottom.

"Relax, unless you annoy me too much the odds of me filing the paperwork against the Longbottoms are rather low. And you're partially protected until you graduate. Regulations prevent us from filing any forms against non-magically raised minors, since they're protected by Hogwarts. The Malfoys have more to fear from me," said Harry without looking up from his journal.

"What do you mean file?"

Neville shuddered.

"He's a member of the one of the three most feared departments in the Ministry. How did you manage to get approved before Hogwarts? I thought they only accepted graduates with high marks in Arithmancy?"

"Actually the only requirement is that you at least know high-school level math and know how to do high calculations in your head while delivering forms. Mostly so you can deduct the standard one-third or 33 percent cutback for the department. Another big thing is to have legible hand writing and have the common sense to file forms for ignoring certain protocols for friends, family and those you happen to like."

He looked up, saw the look Hermione was giving him, before shrugging.

"I'm the kind of bureaucrat adults fear. With the right forms I can make the lives of any pure blood a living hell to the point that not even the Minister would dare cross me."

Hermione's mind was racing, before she came to only three conclusions.

"Revenue, Audit or Lawyer?"

"Audit. Though it doesn't help that I made the lives of Death Eaters who managed to bribe their way out of their much-earned permanent stay in Azkaban harder than it needs to be."

Harry's expression was more than slightly terrifying.

"I love being able to tell a Malfoy to shut it and not have to worry about listening to them go on and on about pure blood pride."

Hermione's expression blanked.

"What exactly would I need to do in order to become an Auditor?"

"A basic knowledge of real math, not the kind they teach in Arithimancy, legible handwriting and the ability to write and file forms in triplicate correctly. That and a very high score in your Defense Against the Dark Arts N.E.W.T.s on level with a high ranking Auror or Unspeakable. The barristers are just as bad, but they also have the ability to make laws, not just use paperwork to make people's lives hell on a whim."

"What about the Revenue?" asked Hermione.

"They're only feared part-time. It's considered the drop-out department for those with too low a score for the Audit department. Usually those who can file the right forms and do the right calculations, but don't have the right power or skill level to defend against irate pure bloods."

Considering Draco's attitude when he came into the compartment (Harry's badge was hidden under his robes) Hermione looked Harry in the eye and said "I want in the barrister department."

"Well every Auditor could use a barrister who's not afraid to help write up new forms to make things needlessly harder for the pure bloods... and with the right mind set you could have people like Draco kissing your shoes calling you Mistress to keep me from setting the Revenue department on him."

Ron hadn't known when marrying Hermione, but she had a dominatrix kink that was rather well hidden. At least until Harry introduced her to some people during a Ministry party, and suddenly Ron hated him.

He did not enjoy being dominated by his already bossy wife.

"Slytherin! And may the Gods have mercy on your souls!" said the Hat loudly, before shuddering.

Harry couldn't help it. He had to do the whole maniacal laughter bit.

"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

The look Dumbledore shot him? Totally worth it.

Harry waited until he was sitting pretty at the Slytherin table before he loudly announced "I am only going to give this warning once. First round of morons who try to hex, curse or otherwise attack me will suffer my wrath."

Harry was particularly smug when Snape called him into his office, likely to try and intimidate him. One legilmency probe later and Snape was looking at him like he was the spawn of Satan himself.

"You are evil."

"If you agree to help, I can make anyone who's ever made your school years harder than it needed to be miserable. Sirius is out mostly because he's in prison and Remus doesn't have enough to bother with, but everyone else is fair game. Including Dumbledore and McGonagall."

"...Time traveler?"

"Time traveler. I may not like you, but it's easier to make a deal with you than to have you actively working against me by warning the old goat. Besides, the only reason I agreed to Slytherin is so I have a front-row seat to watching the inbred morons who look down on half-bloods like us squirm like the worms they are," said Harry with a patented Snape Sneer.

"I'll make a list, and you agree to share any pensieve memories of Dumbledore's face when he finds out you're not the Dark Lord but something far worse," said Snape.

"Deal."

"Any idea how Lucius lost the majority of his gold?"

"I may or may not have activated several high-stakes poker contracts that they lost horribly at, all magically binding. Not my fault that I played my way through all the Death Eater families my sixth year as a way to find some dirt on Draco."

It had only been the shock of losing Dumbledore and the fact he had been unable to reach Gringotts before being declared Persona Non Grata that kept him from claiming them the first time. He had kept them, but the bitterness against the goblins and not trusting them to try and cheat him out of his won gold had meant he had held onto the papers...and they were the first things he placed in his sub dimension when he had the chance.

"Oh, and before I forget. Next time you wish to indulge in maniacal laughter that makes people believe you're the next dark lord in training, try to add some lightning."

"I would have, but that would bring up questions on HOW I know that spell. Think you can swing me a semi-permanent pass to the restricted section next week so we can claim I blackmailed you into it after you've proved to the first years you're a cynical bastard who enjoys making Hufflepuffs cry?"

Snape snorted. It was like he was dealing with a Slytherin Marauder.

"Dye your hair red so I can pretend you took after your mother rather than that bastard of a father of yours, and you have a deal."

"Not a problem," said Harry cheerfully. "Or I could dye it green and claim I'm showing house solidarity. And give McGonagall a reason to drink other than the fact I'm a snake instead of a lion."

Snape cheered up at the idea.