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In an undisclosed location outside of time...
Mick thought he has lost everything. His partnership with Snart, gone. His weapon, confiscated. His entire world, thrown upside down.
He had finally jumped on the idea of eating wild animals raw when he ran into the little bastards.
Though he soon learned that the 'bastard' title was a bit more literally than he had initially assumed. And he found a slightly calmer, though still very much a fire-enthusiast version of himself. In his case though, he never had a chance to burn the house down because he was given up after the third time he was sent to juvie by his own parents.
He found himself more at home in a house so far away from normal society (so people didn't bitch about the numerous explosions that were almost a daily, if not hourly occurrence) and outside time (so the social workers wouldn't be banging on their door, among others). It was weird, being in a house that accepted his quirks and didn't question his love of fire.
Far from it...he was now the second designated go-to person to start the barbeque, because culinary skills to the contrary, Penny never had luck with the grill. She could cook a five-star meal in less time than most restaurants, but she couldn't cook on the grill worth a damn unless it was to charbroil something until it was an inedible lump of blackened meat indistinguishable from the coals.
Jack and Arc were also useless, as they preferred the cold to heat.
Which had meant Rick was the only one who could operate it, to his open amusement.
Mick took the existence of magic in stride. What really bugged him was how familiar the twins were. If he didn't know any better he'd swear he was looking at a pair of his now former partner Snart, just with green eyes and an annoying habit of talking in unison.
Rick... Rick was like a slightly calmer, more analytical version of himself back when he accidentally set the house on fire.
Which wouldn't happen here. Penny had made damn sure of that. Rick got his daily dosage of fire and explosions outside the house, and the entire place was laced with so many fire-wards that it was a miracle the fireplace still worked, much less the stove.
The place had a strange homey feel to it that he never thought he'd have. And rather than balk at the idea of him fighting, she somehow managed to convince him to fight with her and the boys... he wasn't ashamed to admit he lost more than he won. Those twins were damn sneaky and not afraid to go dirty to win.
"So you met their father in a bar, got so drunk you couldn't remember what his face looked like, then decided it didn't matter and taught your sons how to survive the real world and not the polite facade?" said Mick, openly impressed. "Damn, why couldn't you have been my mother?"
"I know, right? I got lucky and befriended the twins by acting as the muscle, and suddenly I have a family I can tolerate!" said Rick in commiseration.
"Now, if you're going to be staying here Mick, you're going to have to pay your way for your room and food."
"In case you haven't noticed, I'm not exactly rolling in dough," said Mick.
Jack snorted.
"Mom is pretty much set for life. She doesn't need a job, but she goes out exploding dangerous creatures out of boredom, along with acting as a bounty hunter. Odds are she'll just have you teach us whatever you can about engineering or fighting. It gets rather boring around here, especially when you can prove you graduated online college at age thirteen," said Arctic.
The comparisons to Snart were only getting stronger.
It was almost a year of being around the three hellions and their slightly insane mother before he was found by the Time Masters.
And really, by this point he had realized exactly who the father of Jack and Arctic was. He could even remember when Snart came in drunk off his ass with a lighter mood in the early years of their professional career as criminals, which almost always meant he had gotten laid.
It would have been around the time the twins were conceived.
So Mick went with the Time Masters, and ended up being brainwashed into becoming Chronos. But in the back of his mind, he'd remember the twins and how much fun he was going to have breaking it to his former partner that he was the father of a pair of twins. Twins who had an unhealthy fascination with freezing things and had roped a pyromaniac/demolitions expert into being their brother in everything but blood.
Unknown to him, after confiding his suspicions to the woman, Penny brewed an inheritance potion and found that perhaps their odd boarder wasn't as delusional as she had assumed.
The twins immediately declared that despite being the perfect father figure for a pair of budding anti-heroes, there was no way they were taking the name Snart.
Seriously, they got enough flack over Arctic's name to know when it was simply a means to get heckled by idiots. Best not to think about it.
Chronos, or Uncle Mick as they insisted on calling him, was beyond amused by the fact that a simple blood test proved Leonard Snart was their father.
Which meant he had something to hold over his former partner. And it would be glorious.
He still didn't know why the Time Masters allowed him to maintain a connection with Penny (her real name was Persephone, but she called herself Penny on the grounds it was much easier to spell) or her sons...until he asked her.
"Magic is wonderful, but if there's one thing I've learned over the years, is that people underestimate time travel far too much. Hence why I made a point to keep any minor issues like a paradox from bothering us. If you want to get technical, I may or may not have kidnapped a Time Master at some point and forced the secret of operating outside time out of him...and then stole the ship for good measure."
She could have gone back in time and stopped the war from happening...but really, she was happy with her life. She had her sons, she had her freedom, and all of her gold was safely invested in muggle banks.
Though Chronos would admit the thing that openly amused him the most about the trio was the way they had printed out a detailed copy of their rap sheet and then presented it to him and called it a resume. He would openly admit to laughing outright when he read the detailed list of petty things they had done, since it was apparently too much of a hassle to deal with the headache of cleaning up a felony charge. The most amusing part about it all was that the crimes themselves might seem petty, but they spanned across time and space.
Penny had a clear "I could care less how other people view me, I'm an awesome mother" vibe.
Several weeks later...
Chronos had Snart tied up to a pole. Odds were that he would freeze his own hand off if it meant stopping him.
Well, Chronos had something up his sleeve that would shock even Snart into behaving...for an hour at least.
He dumped the rap sheets of Jack and Arctic Potter onto his former partner. They came complete with pictures and descriptions.
"What are these?" asked Snart dryly.
"This would be my ultimate leverage over you," deadpanned Chronos. He was going to enjoy this.
Snart humored him long enough to at least look at the papers, but when he got to the photos, Chronos had the distinct amusement of watching Snart's expression change to one he rarely (if ever) got to see.
Complete and utter shock and disbelief. Thank god for cameras.
"Is this some sort of joke?" asked Snart.
"Why don't you tell me? The three hellions and their mother are about to hijack the Wave Rider as we speak," said Chronos.
On the Wave Rider...
The misfits trying to kill Vandal Savage found themselves in a predicament. One even Rip was having trouble believing.
"Where the hell did they get a dragon species that went extinct centuries ago? HOW did they get it to fit inside the ship?!"
"Oi! Don't underestimate Bob!" shouted a voice that sounded disturbingly like a younger Mick, only with a slightly deeper voice and far too cheerful attitude.
"Bob? Who names a dragon Bob?" said Jefferson.
"Our mother, because she said that Sprinkles wasn't cool enough," came the reply with a weird three part harmony.
"Will someone kill that overgrown lizard already!" shouted Kendra.
"Why? We're just distracting you until Chronos gets done screwing with Captain Cold," came one voice.
"Though we really wish we didn't know he was into bondage," added another, who sounded identical to the first.
For a few horrified and disgusted moments, the misfit hero team had to process that horrifying comment and the accompanying mental images.
Suddenly the dragon known as "Bob" retreated enough for Chronos to show up. The trio retreated as well to rob the ship of anything interesting.
Three hours. Three long hours or wrangling up a trio of hellions and their pet dragon Bob. Three hours of having to deal with them coming horrifyingly close to getting lose and causing even MORE havoc.
Three hours before they got a good look at the brats who damn near hijacked the ship. The oldest looked a lot like Mick, only with a crew cut and less burns. The twins, however, were the center of Snart's attention since Mick/Chronos was in the brig.
"Alright you three, how did you board the Wave Rider and manage to sneak aboard an extinct dragon in mid-time stream?" asked Rip.
"Our mom dropped us off," said one twin.
"She said this was as good a time as any for us to meet our dad," said the other.
"I just came to watch Bob set things on fire, since mom said we weren't going to blow anything of Savage up today," pouted the oldest.
"Who's your father?" asked Ray.
As one, the twins immediately looked at Leonard Snart.
"This is ridiculous. I don't have any children," said Snart.
"We time travel a lot," said the first.
"And we have it on good authority thanks to kidnapping your sister at one point that our DNA is a decent enough match that we are your sons," added the second.
"Aunt Lisa seemed thrilled to have nephews who could wreak havoc and were adept at escaping prison," said the first.
"Once she got over WHY she had been kidnapped and held hostage for three hours."
"She clicked a little too well for Uncle Mick to feel entirely comfortable with."
"But they both set off a lot of explosions with various compounds that it evened out in the end."
"Does anyone else have a headache?" asked Ray.
Most held up their hands in agreement.
"Alright, what are your names and how did your mother happen to drop you off?" asked Rip, trying a different tactic.
"Jack Frost."
"Arctic Wind."
"Black Flare," said the oldest. Seeing the looks the adults gave him, he shrugged. "Though if you want my legal name, it's Rick."
"Sir, there is a time ship threatening to blow us out of the time stream if we don't hand over the three captives and their pet dragon."
"How did it find us?"
"Oh, mom finally decided to pick us up."
"Probably followed Uncle Mick's ship," agreed Arctic.
"How much you want to bet she's going to steal everything and then sell the parts?" asked Rick.
"No bet," came the twin's reply.
"Sir, we are being boarded. There is an anomaly in the brig... Sir, Chronos has escaped with help!"
Rip looked increasingly alarmed at the progression of the obvious pirate. The trio of teens who came onto his ship looked anything but.
Finally the pirate came into the room with Chronos looking highly amused on her heels.
Snart immediately recognized her.
"Why am I not surprised. I take it you dealt with that crappy fiancee you mentioned?"
"I bribed him with several metric tons of gold to get lost, and a house in a far enough country that none of his family would find him. I may have neglected to warn him of the vampire coven on the property though."
Suddenly Rip realized WHO was on his ship. His furious shriek garnered the attention of everyone on the bridge.
"The Black Death?! You mean to tell me that the one who broke onto my ship was bloody Black Death?!"
Black Death, or "Penny" as she called herself, gave him a slightly odd look. It was a combination of amusement, annoyance, and an evil smirk.
"Bloody hell, no one told me a Brit would be on the damn ship. Why didn't you warn me that the captain of this idiotic crusade was from Europe?" she asked Mick, and most of them noticed she had an almost identical accent to Rip.
"You didn't ask," he replied.
"Is anyone else concerned about the bounty hunter from the Time Masters being free?" said Sara warily.
Black Death rolled her eyes.
"Please, give these two idiots a chance to cave each other's head in and they'll be back to normal in a few hours. You don't raise three sons without learning that sometimes male bonding requires actual violence to get through to others. Besides, his loyalty was never to the Time Masters. Mick is an extremely good actor when he wants to be, especially when he has something to hold over others," she replied, looking at Snart specifically.