HEY GUYS, SORRY FOR THE HOLD UP, FOR WHATEVER REASON THE SITE WAS NOT LETTING ME UPLOAD THIS CHAPTER. MAKES ME WONDER IF THE SITE THINKS IT SUCKS LOL. ANYWAYS, HOPE YOU ENJOY!
*POV BELLA*
Lunch with Alice and Jasper was pure torture. The whole time he was touching her. When it was time to leave, he was all over her too.
Jess: I'm so sorry I agreed to that Bella. I just didn't know what to say when she asked.
Bella: it's ok Jess. It is what it is. Guess I just have to get use to that.
She pulls me into a hug and tells me not to give up because the show isn't over till the fat lady sings. I can't help but crack a smile. She really is great. I wish I had the hope she does now. When I get to class, Edward is already at the table.
Edward: I'm sorry Bella. I tried…
Bella: don't please. I just want to focus on something else.
Edward: ok, want to hang out later?
Bella: maybe next time, I need to run it off.
Edward: got it.
I turn around right in time to see Jasper hugging Alice at the door. Edward gives my hand a squeeze and I debate if I should just leave. Her scent that normally calms me and makes me happy, just brings me pain today because it's mixed with his. My wolf feels wounded. I put on my AirPods and tune everything out. Oddly enough, the first song to play is Clean Bandit "Tears". Alice looks at me but doesn't say a word. I'm sure she can hear the music and is listening to the lyrics. I don't bother looking up at her.
Alice: thinking of an ex?
Bella: sure.
Alice: you shouldn't dwell on the past.
Bella: so I've been told.
She doesn't get it. Which makes it hurt more. She's suppose to be my imprint. Only my smell should be on her. But she wants to be with him. She wants me to JUST be her friend. When the bell rings, I jet out of class to meet Jess. She holds my face to look at her, I'm sure it's a mix of hurt and anger. She pulls me into a deep hug and I bury my face in her hair. Though it smells nothing like Alice's it gives me some relief, because her scent isn't mixed with Jasper. We walk to the parking lot and spot Angela and Eric waiting by my car. I pull Jess into my arms as if she's my anchor. And in a sense, she really is right now. I want to run away, far from Alice and Jasper but I know I can't. So I just hold on to Jess and give my attention to our friends. Angela brings up our double date again and I say fuck it why not. It'll be a nice distraction to everything. We agree to this Saturday. Dinner and a movie. Regular teenage stuff. Rose said the parts for my car come in this week and asked if I can come by for her to get started. I'm sure I can drop it off and we can get a ride with Angela. When I drop off Jess, she gives me another hug and holds on longer than normal. I don't complain, it honestly feels nice. I feel my wolf smile and I hope it's a good sign. She tells me to call her if I need to talk and I just nod. I race down to the Res, needing to let my wolf out. I feel like I want to explode. When I get to Jake's, Billy lets me know he's already running around. I hear Jake and Paul the second I phase. I tell them I need to run off some stuff and if they can give me a minute to myself. Paul figures since I only get to phase when I come down, it's just my wolf wanting to run around uninterrupted. At the same time without him knowing about Alice, he doesn't tie the feeling to anything romantic. I feel the worry from Jake before he phases back but he doesn't say anything. He gives me a look, but I turn and run through the woods at full speed. Letting my wolf take control. Smelling the scents of the woods, the trees and the dirty. Hearing the birds fly off with the noise of my running. Feeling my feet pound at the dirt as I run faster and faster. Before I know it, I'm right at the border. Stupid wolf. He growls at me, but I ignore it. I give in and lay down next to a really big silver fir. I notice how quiet it is here in this part of the woods. There's barely any birds. Looking in the trees, I don't notice any squirrels either. I can smell all the Cullens' scent not far from the perimeter line. That is why. That is why there aren't any animals here. The breeze blows and I smell her. Alice's scent is faint but there. I can pick it out from all the others and from the wood's smells. Sigh. I close my eyes, knowing this is the reason my wolf brought me here. Once it starts getting dark, I run back to the Res. I phase when I get to the woods by Jakes's. I'm not surprised to see him by my car waiting for me. I would do the same if he was in my shoes. I tell him I don't want to talk about it and I have to head home for some homework. He studies me hard but just tells me to call him later if I need anything and I mumble ok. I drive home with my windows down enjoying the smells in the air. I make dinner for me and Charlie, and we talk about his day. I tell him I spent the afternoon at the Res. Also letting him know about my weekend plans. He tells me he's glad I'm hanging out with friends, regular human friends. And that I'm not just patrolling all the time. He understands my job on the Res but doesn't want me to miss out on being just a kid. I smile at him and tell him I know and I won't. I let him know I have homework and head upstairs. I turn on my speakers and hit shuffle on my playlist before hopping in the shower. It's moments like this, I'm thankful that Charlie switched rooms with me. Having my own bathroom and his room on the other side of the house, gives me more privacy. The hot water does wonders to my muscles. They don't ache like a normal person's would but there is a relaxing part of it. I don't want to get out but have to when the water starts getting cold. I get dress quickly and lay down on my bed.
Alice: I just wanted to say sorry about today wolfie, I promise I'll explain everything soon.
I read the text over and over. Before it sits in, she won't be coming over. I don't reply. Why bother. I talk to my wolf and let him know to just get over her. She just wants us to be friends. We have to accept that. He growls at me but I don't budge. I think about Jess and he shows me Alice. I try focusing on Jess again, but he shows me Alice. Smiling at me. Her magical laugh…. Stupid wolf doesn't get that it's not going to happen. It's just a mountain of hurt waiting for me. Sleep eventually finds me. But so do the nightmares. After the 3rd one, I decide to give up on sleep. I take another shower to relax my muscles again. Then head downstairs to make breakfast before Charlie even wakes up. He gives me a raised eyebrow when he comes down and I just mention I couldn't sleep. He knows about my nightmares. I know it hurts him to not be able to do anything about them, so he just mumbles sorry. I nod and grab a cup of coffee. I pack him a lunch, knowing if I don't feed him actual food, he'll just grab some fast food. Nothing good for him. After the 5th cup of coffee, I grab my bag and head to Jess'. She comes out with the biggest smile on her face. I think about what she told me about her parents, and I wonder how she can look so happy with that stress at home. I make up my mind to do something special for her. She deserves some happy moments right now.
Jess: Bella, you look like hell.
Bella: well, thank you! *we both laugh* how was your evening?
Jess: it was alright. Parents, arguing, me just listening to music. Seems like the norm now a days.
Bella: you should've called me. You could've gone down to the Res with me. I think we both need to time away from Forks.
Jess: I'll remember that next time. How was your evening?
Bella: ahhh, it was.… Went down to the Res and hung out with the guys. *I could tell her. No, I can't. It's not my place to tell her about the Cullens. Well, I could just tell her about us. I'll see how things go* Cooked dinner for Charlie and went to bed. Alice texted me apologizing for the awkward lunch. She said she'll explain soon but didn't hear from her for the rest of the night.
Jess: well, that sucks. You know Bella, I truly hope she's not just playing with you. She has to know you're into her. Anyone can see it!
Before I know it, we're at school. I see the Cullens' cars but no Cullens.
Bella: anyone but her apparently. It's alright Jess. Come on, let's get to class.
Even though no one's around, I grab her hand as we walk to class. Even though it's all for show, our friendship that we're developing is real. When we get to 1st period, Rosalie isn't in class and when she doesn't show up at all. I decide to text her.
Bella: you skipping today?
Rosalie: last minute trip ran a little late.
Bella: ok, drive safe… or run safe? Just be safe.
Rosalie: we drove and we will do. Hope today is a better day for you. xoxo
Bella: thanks Rosalie. Means a lot.
It truly does. I wonder what last minute trip but decide it's not my business. She would've told me if she wanted me to know. Jess and I, almost bump into Alice coming out of class. She's holding hands with Jasper and I just walk around them. 2nd period goes by pretty quickly. I see her again in between class but she walks right by me with Jasper. When I get to 3rd, Edward is grim looking.
Bella: you ok Eddie?
Edward: family drama.
Bella: Rosalie said something about a last minute trip.
Edward: yeah, she didn't agree with how things happen yesterday. Nor did me and Emmett.
Bella: you guys don't have to let all this cause issues. I mean, I thank you guys for wanting to help and all, but we can't make Alice have feelings, she doesn't have.
Edward: she has them.
Bella: yeah ok. Look I don't want to dwell on it. Can we just let it all go?
He just nods his head and starts talking about the new movies coming out. Class seems to take forever but it's ok because I'm in no rush to see Alice and Jasper.
Edward: you ok if I sit with you guys?
Bella: of course!
Him wanting to join us, meant a lot. Lunch is pretty chill. It's actually pretty funny watching Angela swoon over him. Eric getting jealous. But the tables turn when Rosalie and Emmett join us halfway through lunch. And Eric starts swooning over Rosalie. Jess actually brings up the weekend plans and ask if they would like to make it a group outing. Luckily, they all turn it down. It would make it harder considering they all know the truth about Jess and I. Besides, my time with Jess is my get away from my other world. We break when the bell rings and I walk Jess to class. She gives me a longer than normal hug and tells me lunch was nice. I couldn't agree more with her, I stop by my locker to get a book to read. When I get to class, Alice and Edward are already sitting down. Neither one is talking to the other. In fact, they both look annoyed. I catch Edward's eyes here and there. They look dark but he doesn't say anything, so I focus on my book.
Alice: hey wolfie
Bella: hey Alice
Alice: no pixie?
Bella: what can I do for you Alice?
Alice: nothing Bella. Hope you have a good rest of the day.
I look over at Edward and he just has a frown and shakes his head at me. I can't take this Jasper's scent being all over Alice anymore. I ask the teacher if I can be excused. Referring to my medical excuse so he knows I won't come back to class. Luckily, he excuses me and I rush out to my car. As badly as I want to leave, I'm Jess' ride home. I debate texting her to see if she wants to leave early but she shouldn't miss class because of my shit. I turn on my car and turn up the music. I need something to distract me. I close my eyes and lean back letting my thoughts float away. The passenger door slams, and I jump opening my eyes to find myself staring at Alice.
Bella: what the fuck Alice? Again, of us does have a heart that can stop when scared half to death.
Alice: I knew you would be fine. 10 seconds of panic and your heart would relax.
Bella: damn future seeing vamp. *I stare at her, waiting for her to speak* soooo… what can I do for you?
Alice: I told you I would explain everything and here I am to explain.
Bella: ok?
Alice: I'm truly sorry Bella. I know things are tense… a lot when it comes to Jasper. Can you please understand I just want to keep the peace? After I left your house, Jasper and I got into a big fight. Esme had to step in, big fight. A part of me doesn't care about him being jealous. Because there's nothing to be jealous about. We're just friends and he's being childish. But then a part of me, knows I should care. I shouldn't be hurting him. If he's feeling insecure, I should do what I can to help him. So, I suggested he gets to know you and see for himself that we're just friends. Considering you're dating Jess, I just figured it would help for him to see you guys together and all. I didn't mean for things to get weird or to make you feel some way.
I stare at her, taking in everything she is saying. As much as I want to be mad. As much as I'm hurt. My wolf gives in. It's Alice. I could never say no. I could never hurt her.
Bella: yeah, I get it. Listen I'm sorry that I'm causing issues between you guys. If there's anything I can do to help chill things out for you. Just let me know.
Alice: thanks Bella. That means a lot.
Bella: yeah, yeah…. So, I guess no more sleep overs?
Alice: just for a while. He'll see we're just friends and will let this whole jealousy thing go. Till then, we can still hang out.
There it is again… just friends. I inhale deeply and slowly release it. I know she hears it. Just like I hear every time she stops breathing.
Bella: yeah, sure we can hang out.
Alice: yay! Want to come over this weekend and finish the movie?
Bella: well, uh, Jess and I have a double date this weekend.
Alice: of course. I should've known that.
Bella: but Rosalie asked me to bring my car over soon. When I bring it over, we can hang out.
Alice: I'll hold you to it. Again Bella, I'm sorry for every time I ignored you.
I put my hand over her's and I feel it again. I quickly pull my feelings together.
Bella: it's fine Alice. I mean it's not, but it is.
Alice: ok
I see her eyes flash over and I know it's a vision. I wait for her to finish.
Alice: I'm sorry again *sigh* school is about to end. I have to go before Jasper comes out. Text me later?
Bella: it's whatever Alice.
I see her wince and I regret it in an instance.
Bella: crap I didn't mean for it to sound harsh. But you know what I mean. I get it. Well go on, don't want him throwing a fit. So, you just text me when you can. Don't want to interrupt you guys when you're having sex.
Alice: seriously Bella? I'll just text you later.
She slams the door hard when she gets out. She's at her car in a flash. With her head down as if she's thinking. Crap I shouldn't had said that. The Enchanted song starts playing and her head snaps up. We lock eyes for what feels like forever. Only breaking when Jasper walks in front of her. I take a deep breath. Taking in her scent that filled my car. I know he did that on purpose but there's nothing I can do. This time when my door opens, I don't jump.
Jess: hey good looking, you ok? I heard you left class early.
I chuckle at her, she doesn't know that Alice can hear her. And I know it was sincere. I reach over and open her door for her.
Jess: is that a yes?
Bella: no, not at all. But I'll be ok. Hey, want to get dinner with me?
Jess: depends on where you take me.
Bella: get in and you'll find out.
*POV ALICE*
I underestimated how upset my siblings are. They all join Bella and her friends for lunch.
Jasper: do you have any idea what that's all about?
Alice: think they all wanted a chance to get to know Jess. We had our chance.
I see Edward tense. I'm sure to stop himself from saying anything.
Jasper: I guess. What do you want to do today?
Alice: I want to go hunting. You're welcome to join me if you like.
Jasper: I went hunting yesterday but I can go to keep you company.
He smiles at me for including him in my plans and sends me a wave of love. I feel a ping of sadness when I hear Jess invite my siblings to join them on their weekend plans. Luckily Edward turns it down saying our parents have a dinner at the house and we have to be there. While I wonder why he turned it down. I'm glad because I won't sit at home all night wondering how it's going. When lunch ends, Jasper walks me to class, and I see Edward beat me. But no Bella.
Edward: she's walking Jess to class.
Alice: Edward..
Edward: please don't.
Bella comes in no more than 5 minutes later. She doesn't say anything to either Edward or me and I let out a breath I've been holding in. Maybe she's not as mad as I thought. I hear Edward's very low growl. Bella pulls out her book to read and I bend my head to look at the title. "In Search of Lost Time" by Marcel Proust. Never read it. I shall check it out. I decide to write Bella a note and test the waters.
Alice: hey wolfie
Bella: hey Alice
Ahhh. Ok maybe she is upset.
Alice: no pixie?
Bella: what can I do for you Alice?
Alice: nothing Bella. Hope you have a good rest of the day.
Guess I should give her some time. Bella jumps up suddenly surprising both Edward and I. We stare at her, wondering what she's doing. She walks over to the teacher and ask if she can be excused. Stating something about a medical condition. What condition? Does she feel sick? Does she need something? I watch her walk out the door and quickly look into her future to make sure she's alright. I see her sit in her car and turn on some music.
Edward: you shouldn't be looking into her future like that.
Alice: I just wanted to make sure she's ok. Maybe one of us should take her home if she's not feeling well.
Edward: you mean, me, Rose and Emmett. Wouldn't want Jasper getting upset with you again.
I don't say anything. There's no point to. I just get up and tell the teacher I'm going to the bathroom. I know Edward would grab my stuff when class ends. This might be the only time in the next few days, I'll be able to talk to her without the others listening in. Plus, I need to explain everything. I walk out and head for Bella's car. I hear some classical music playing and wonder who her favorite composer is. I clearly get in her car too quickly because she actually jumps. If not for her wolf like reflexes, I'm sure she would've hit her head.
Bella: what the fuck Alice? Again, one of us does have a heart that can stop when scared half to death.
Alice: I knew you would be fine. 10 seconds of panic and your heart would relax.
Ok a little white lie. Her wolf would be ok if she did panic. But then again, I'm sure she would be unhappy if she phased in her car because of me.
Bella: damn future seeing vamp. Soooo… what can I do for you?
Alice: I told you I would explain everything and here I am to explain.
Bella: ok?
Alice: I'm truly sorry Bella. I know things are tense… a lot when it comes to Jasper. Can you please understand I just want to keep the peace? After I left your house, Jasper and I got into a big fight. Esme had to step in, big fight. A part of me doesn't care about him being jealous. Because there's nothing to be jealous about. We're just friends and he's being childish. But then a part of me, knows I should care. I shouldn't be hurting him. If he's feeling insecure, I should do what I can to help him. So, I suggested he gets to know you and see for himself that we're just friends. Considering you're dating Jess, I just figured it would help for him to see you guys together and all. I didn't mean for things to get weird or to make you feel some way.
Bella doesn't say anything. She just stares at me. I can see the debate in her head on what to say. See if she wants to forgive me and continue being my friend. I know this whole thing is ridiculous, but I hope she can understand.
Bella: yeah, I get it. Listen I'm sorry that I'm causing issues between you guys. If there's anything I can do to help chill things out for you. Just let me know.
She gets it! I can't help but smile and feel reassured that I haven't lost her.
Alice: thanks Bella. That means a lot.
Bella: yeah, yeah…. So I guess no more sleep overs?
Alice: just for a while. He'll see we're just friends and will let this whole jealousy thing go. Till then, we can still hang out.
I see her face drop but she quickly straightens it. It feels even better when she says that we can hang out. I invite her over, but she brings up her date with Jess. Which I knew of but also hoped she would cancel or say she'll come over before or even after. Letting me know, we're ok. When she suggests hanging out while Rose works on her car, I smile again. I know just an apology won't make up for the way I've been treating her but this is a start. I apologize again and when she puts her hand on mine. I feel her warmth spread through my body.
Bella: it's fine Alice. I mean it's not, but it is.
Alice: ok
I get a vision of Jasper walking out and getting upset about seeing me in her car.
Alice: I'm sorry again *sigh* school is about to end. I have to go before Jasper comes out. Text me later?
Bella: it's whatever Alice.
Her tone cuts through the space between us. Making the words feel like a slap to the face. She's still upset.
Bella: crap I didn't mean for it to sound harsh. But you know what I mean. I get it. Well go on, don't want him throwing a fit. So, you just text me when you can. Don't want to interrupt you guys when you're having sex.
Alice: seriously Bella? I'll just text you later.
I jump out her car and push the door a little harder than I wanted to. There're no humans around and while there's a pull for me to get back in her car. I don't want to fight with her anymore. Her tone hurt but her words continue to hurt more. I understand why she's upset but I don't understand why her being upset hurts as bad. I run over to my car to wait for Jasper. I replay the conversation and wonder where I could've saved it from turning sour.
There I was again tonight. Forcing laughter, faking smiles.
Same old tired, lonely place.
My head snaps up automatically looking at her. She downloaded the song. It tugs at my heart that she would. I look at her face trying to read her mind, but nothing comes to me. Though everything that just happen, I see love in her eyes? It's almost the way Jasper looks at me. Only different. It tugs at my heart in a way nothing ever has before.
I'll spend forever wondering if you knew. I was enchanted to meet you.
I hear the students start filling the parking lot, but I can't turn my eyes from her…. Jasper steps in front of me and it snaps me out of my thoughts.
Jasper: you left class early?
Alice: yeah it was a lot.
He looks over at Bella's car. I'm sure hearing the song. He takes a deep breath and I know he smells her scent. His eyes flash black but he doesn't say anything. He just turns to get in the car. Great, here we go again.