"Hey Seph, guess who finally tracked down this mystery double that's had your fans in a tizzy by accident?" said Genesis with glee.
Sephiroth looked up from his paperwork to glare at him, unamused.
"If you're here to repeat yet another rumor that I somehow was turned into a woman due to a materia accident..." he growled.
"No, I mean I actually met the woman who's been sparking the rumors during my mandatory vacation. The rumors weren't kidding about her looking like a freaking double of you with breasts," said Genesis.
Angeal walked in at that comment.
"Please tell me you aren't here to repeat another one of those rumors."
"Nope. Just that I found the source of them," said Genesis with far too much amusement about the matter. "The first thing she did when I called her 'Seph' was slap me."
That got their attention.
"She slapped you," said Sephiroth.
"Apparently she's just as sick about the rumors as you are. It's annoying the hell out of her that your fan club keeps thinking you had a materia accident and bothering her," said Genesis.
"Is the resemblance that strong?" asked Sephiroth.
Genesis took out his PHS, and then pulled up a picture.
"...If I didn't know any better I would honestly swear that was you," admitted Angeal. Sephiroth stared at it...then he started growling.
"What's on your mind?"
"Goddess-be-damned Hojo. If this is the result of one of his experiments I am going to absolutely murder him!" said Sephiroth.
He put up with a lot of crap, but this? This was a new low even for him and if he was responsible then Sephiroth was gutting him. And it would be so utterly satisfying... Goddess knew he fantasized about it constantly to begin with.
"On an unrelated note, when she found out I had direct access to you she wanted me to pass on a message."
"What message?" asked Sephiroth, curious in spite of himself.
"'You have my condolences.'"
"I...what?"
Angeal looked just as confused. Genesis looked bemused himself.
"Apparently she feels empathy towards the fact we have rabid fan clubs and feels sorry for the fact we have to deal with obsessed stalkers intent on invading our privacy and blowing everything out of proportion because we're 'famous' or 'good looking'. When I introduced myself she didn't even bat an eye or look like she honestly gave a damn about my fame or reputation," said Genesis. "She also said that if it wasn't for the fact that she knew how annoying stalkers were and the fact it would definitely be taken the wrong way, she would have offered to buy you the strongest drink she could find so you could get drunk and vent about how annoying you found the Silver Elite without having someone to judge you for it."
"Sounds like she has experience with fan clubs and stalkers of her own," mused Angeal.
"That's the impression I got, but from the sound of it I think her's were a bit more low-key...or she found a way to avoid them."
Sephiroth was silent. He had never had someone give their 'condolences' for having to put up with the general annoyance of the Silver Elite.
"Did you at least get her name?"
"Serenity, but she said I could call her Rena after I introduced her to Loveless. Pretty sure she's been living under a rock or in a cave, because she had absolutely no idea who I was until I introduced myself."
Genesis rather liked her wit. She was funny, intelligent and did not suffer idiots at all. He had laughed himself sick when some of the Silver Elite came to bother them and she had followed through on her threat of using them for target practice using his favorite game for people who annoyed him.
He liked to call it 'Dodge Fireball'.
He had happily spent a rather enjoyable vacation chatting with Rena while she made a living as a freelance monster hunter. Considering her strong resemblance to Sephiroth, it was likely the only job she'd find where she wouldn't be harassed constantly by the Silver Elite. Even if it was a little strange that she looked so much like Sephiroth, her skills with the sword would have disabused him of the notion very quickly. She was obviously self-taught and had a preference for magic over actual sword-play.
Most of their discussions had be spent talking about the different use for materia and how to combine them in creative ways.
He didn't mind helping her to acquire a better sword, or show her how to hold it properly and how to actually equip her materia to it for added effect. He suspected she came from a very small village without much access to the outside world where women were expected to be housewives and not go looking for adventure. The kind of place where her only future would be to marry young and pop out as many children as possible with no regard to her own dreams. It would explain a lot.
Considering her appearance (particularly with that hair color and bust), he could make an educated guess why she left.
Rena looked at the greens in her hand dubiously.
"So let me get this straight...I use the chocobo lure to summon the bird, defeat the monster, then feed it the greens and then I get a way to travel without having to walk?"
She had seen the birds before, but had no idea they could be domesticated.
"That's how it works," said Billy.
"What the hell...not like I had anything better to do today."
She used the chocobo lure and prepared herself for a fight. Some quick spellwork later, and she had a rather amusing chocobo that had a fascination for her hair.
"Aren't you just adorable," she cooed at it. "I think I'll call you Sunshine."
The newly dubbed Sunshine warked, before attempting to nibble on her braid. He closed his eyes in pleasure when she started stroking his chest feathers the same way she used to do with Hedwig.
She had been in this odd world for a year, but she still missed her owl terribly.
She spent a few days getting used to riding her new chocobo (it fell in love with her by the end of the first day) before realizing she much preferred riding the odd birds to walking.
She spoiled Sunshine rotten, and the bird adored her for it.
It was during one of her supply runs into a random town (the Silver Elite were beyond annoying and she hated going into civilization because of it) that she ran into someone she didn't expect.
"Oof!"
She was reading some interesting poetry (she now had a new best friend in Genesis, as the two would trade quips for hours out of boredom) when she crashed into him.
In all fairness, she had been quite distracted.
"I'm sorry about that miss," said a voice.
Rena picked up her book...and politely accepted the man's hand.
"It's my fault. I tend to get rather distracted while reading," she replied, dusting off. Then she got a good look at who she crashed into. "Are you Angeal Hewley?"
The half-wince said volumes.
She smiled in commiseration.
"Genesis speaks highly of you...in between groaning about someone he insists is a 'puppy' that you've taken under your wing. You have my sympathy for having to deal with that much energy if your apprentice does squats while bored," she replied.
Angeal blinked, before recognition and realization hit.
"Are you Rena?"
"Please tell me you're not going to compare me to Sephiroth too."
"The resemblance is uncanny, but the clothes and the braid are enough to keep me from making that mistake," he admitted. "That plus I happen to know he's desk bound for the next month due to the most recent batch of cadets."
Rena winced in sympathy. Then she got a good look at his sword.
"Okay, how exactly are you able to use a sword like that? It looks like an oversized meat cleaver!"
Angeal grinned. It seemed Genesis wasn't kidding about Rena being the 'rare female who could make decent conversation'.
"So what brings you to Costa de Sol?"
"Supply runs, mostly. I find the fan clubs far too annoying to deal with to stay among humans for too long. Though could you explain why I kept getting the evil eye over in Wutai?" she asked baffled.
"It's mostly because of Sephiroth. He almost single-handedly won the war over there, and they don't particularly like him for it," explained Angeal.
"Figures. One man's hero is another man's villain, so of course my weird resemblance to him would bite me in the arse," she muttered in annoyance.
Angeal found Rena to be a refreshing conversationalist. While he did catch her staring at his ass a few times, she never tried to flirt with him or try to sleep with him.
Instead they talked about the matter of honor and the fact that sometimes, one had to put aside their own feelings in order to insure that it was upheld.
He had never met anyone who actually understood why he found it so important. Not without being mocking about it, or who just agreed with him.
Angeal, in Rena's opinion, would have made an excellent Gryffindor. Genesis was a toss-up between a mischievous Slytherin or a Ravenclaw. He was too damn sneaky and vicious to be a Hufflepuff or a Gryffindor.
The look on Angeal's face when she suggested a light sparring match to see if her sword skills had improved almost caused her to laugh herself silly. Especially when Angeal figured out she meant an actual spar and not because she wanted to sleep with him.
On the plus side, hearing Angeal declare her 'adequate' using a sword considering she didn't have anyone to train her was great. Genesis' preferred blade was a rapier, whereas she prefered swords that were a combination of broadsword and katana. She took one look at the 'buster swords' and had dismissed them immediately because she didn't want anything that bulky.
However Angeal did know a lot of basic sword exercises for people learning how to use one for the first time, and he found himself with a student who paid attention and asked intelligent questions while he adjusted her footing or her grip.
By the end of his vacation, Angeal was in a much better mood than he was expecting and best of all Rena had managed to attach some sort of spell onto a bracelet that would let him slip past the worst of his fan club unmolested.
He openly kissed her when he realized the bracelet worked and swore to never take it off. None of the generals liked their fan clubs, and barely tolerated them at best.
Angeal had to admit her squeak of surprise when he kissed her was adorable, and the baffled blush on her face was amusing. Though she had a speculative look when he told her in all seriousness that Genesis and Sephiroth would pay outrageous sums of money for similar bracelets...especially Sephiroth.
Considering she had been saving up for a new sword since her current one was about ready for the scrap heap, he had the feeling that one of them would be making a special delivery very soon.
Though it did beg the question how much experience Rena had with men, because she had trouble looking him in the eye outside of sparring after he kissed her for solving most of his fan club problem.
He was betting not a lot, since she openly admitted to avoiding civilization thanks to the Silver Elite.
Zack was wondering about the odd "mission" Angeal had assigned him when he was supposed to be on his mandatory vacation. He had seemed really amused by it too.
Why did his mentor want him to make a delivery?
"Wark!"
Zack turned...only to find a massive yellow chocobo staring him down, along with a Sephiroth clone with boobs.
"What the hell?" he said in surprise. "You mean to tell me that rumor about a girl-Sephiroth was real?"
Her face pulled into a scowl.
"Have you ever played a game Genesis affectionately likes to call 'Dodge Fireball'?" she asked flatly.
Zack winced.
"I'm sorry! It's just that rumor's been floating around for over two years now and every time someone claims it's full of shit another one pops up! Though it is weird that there aren't any in Midgard."
"Do I look stupid enough to enter that place when it's the epicenter of the Silver Elite?" she said incredulous. "The branch offices are irritating enough to deal with, the last thing I want to deal with is the biggest grouping of them!"
That...made a scary amount of sense actually.
"My bad... so are you the one Angeal sent me to deliver this package to?" he asked.
"That depends... are you the incorrigible Puppy Genesis is always complaining about?"
"Come on, why does everyone keep comparing me to a puppy?" complained Zack playfully.
She mock thought.
"Maybe it's because you look and act like an incorrigible puppy that hasn't learned not to chew on the furniture or make a mess on the floor?" she teased, getting off her chocobo. "This is Sunshine, by the way."
Zack stroked the chocobo's beak, getting a happy 'wark' in return.
"So what exactly did Angeal want me to deliver anyway?"
Rena took the package and opened it...and then pulled out a sword.
"...Angeal has some seriously weird ideas for gifts."
"More like he remembered our sparring match. This sword has much better balance than the one I've been using," said Rena pleased. She did a few practice swings away from Sunshine and Zack, and her expression was very happy.
"You like swords?"
"Never really got into them until I became a freelance monster hunter, but they're a lot easier to handle than a gun. Don't get me wrong, I'm actually a decent shot, but at least swords are easier to maintain. Besides, it's such a pain carrying all those bullets around. Spells on the other hand... I've been learning how to cast since I was eleven," she replied. She eyes Zack with a grin that was all too familiar...mostly because it was one he often saw on himself. "Care to break this thing in?"
"Hell yeah!" said Zack enthusiastically.
By the end of it, he would swear up and down to Angeal that it was like fighting a less experienced Sephiroth with the wicked aim of Genesis when it came to spells. What Rena lacked in skill when it came to swords she made up for with vicious spell casting. He did have to wonder why she insisted he give Sephiroth and Genesis a pair of bracelets though. Or why the two generals held the items like holy relics.
Very weird.