Note:

Happy Canada Day weekend to my fellow Canadians (if there are any reading this). Thought I'd kick off the first of the month with the smaller chapter. Hope you guys enjoy it – it's got two songs inspirations. Twenty-Two will be up within the week.

[x] song: "If You Let Me", Sinéad Harnett (from her 2019 album 'Lessons in Love')

[x] song: "Show Me", Idina Menzel (from her 2016 album 'idina')

Disclaimer:

I own this fic and the original characters, but not Frozen or anything Disney claims.

Happy Reading!

-JQ

Chapter Twenty One: A Letter For Your Thoughts

[Botarskal, Iceland]

Shortly after Katla had announced her plan for her and her sisters to travel to Arendelle, they realized one small – itty bitty – problem:

"Not that I don't love a bit of 'rogue Katla', and what not," Rikki stated after her eldest sister told them her idea of travelling to Arendelle, "but what the Hell are we going to tell father?"

"Right..." Gilly agreed with a huff, "I forgot we still had a parent for a second."

Finn exhaled sadly. "Daddy will never let us all go at once."

Katla rolled her eyes. "You three think so little of me, don't you?" before any of them could question her about what she meant, Katla walked over to her desk. She bent down and took something out of the bottom drawer – it was a letter. After grabbing it, she returned to where her sisters were gathered and placed it in Gilly's hands. Gilly, Rikki and Finn huddled together to read the letter that Katla handed over to them. It had the official seal of Vennesvurg (she had asked Lindahl for a spare letterhead) and it appeared to be written in Tina's handwriting.

.

Dear Daddy,

It is I – your favourite daughter.

Your favourite daughter, who has been subjected to such a terrible fate because of your kingly secrets.

I'm having a great time in Vennesvurg, and the King is okay, but I am really missing my sisters (and my freedom!). Could you please allow them to visit before I announce my engagement? I would really love their support and guidance in this trying time that – once again – you and your secretive kingdom dealings has subjected me to.

It's only fair.

Please allow them to visit me. Don't make me sadder than I already am.

Yours forever,

(Your Favourite Daughter, whose fate was bound by your previously poor decisions)

Princess Hrafntinna Tasgall (adopting mother's maiden name until you grant me this wish)

.

If the sisters didn't already know that Katla had forged it, it would have looked like the real deal.

"Devious." Gilly said in astonishment at the forgery, "It's just as dramatic as she is."

Rikki nodded in agreement. "Yeah, she totally would take mother's maiden name out of pettiness."

"Thank you." Katla said, feigning exasperation, "I had to channel my inner 'whiny baby', so it was a lot more character work than I'm used to." Rikki and Gilly laughed at that while Finn just kept ogling the letter. The youngest sister was still fascinated by how accurate it looked.

"I'm still so amazed. It's like she wrote it herself!" Finn praised, "You even got her 'F's' spot on – they've even got that little swirly bit." Katla shook her head with a smile and snatched the letter back from Finn.

"Save your adoration for when you'll truly need it." Katla told her. She then called her sisters' attention once more to tell them the next step in her plan. "Once we sneak this into the mail, father will feel awful and write to Arendelle, alerting them of incoming our visit. Now," she began, waving the letter around, "who wants to be a dear and sneak this into the international mail room?" Finn and Gilly just shook their heads.

"I'll do it." Rikki said with a shrug, as she grabbed the letter from Katla. "Need to use my lock-picking skills for something, right? BRB." and with that, she left Katla's study and headed for the international mail room.

"...where did she learn to pick locks?" Finn asked, very concerned and puzzled. Gilly and Katla just laughed.

"It's good to be curious," Katla advised Finn, "but not always."

The princesses of Botarskal were not used to causing such a ruckus in the castle, but their father had forced their hand and given them no other choice. If there was truly no record of a treaty between Botarskal and Vennesvurg, then he just sent Tina away for no good reason. They needed to get their sister's freedom back, even though they were putting their own freedoms on the line. Oh well, there would be no use for worrying about that yet – they still had to get their father to fall for the letter. Katla, Gilly and Finn just hoped that Rikki's lock-picking skills will pay off and they can proceed with the next bit of their plan.

...

[Ahtohallan, Norway]

Elsa usually felt free while riding on the back of the Nokk, on her way to Ahtohallan. The wind blowing through her hair, the fantastical ocean breeze...these were the things that gave her immense joy.

But not today.

Today she had a very specific task to do.

Today, she was going to finally get rid of Tina's letter.

And so, she rode with determination towards her destination. The Nokk could sense her demeanor and they would constantly turn their head to check on her. Elsa would just brush them off and urge them to continue galloping across the Northern Sea.

The ice wielder had been in such good spirits for the past week. After talking to Honeymaren about her experiences, Elsa felt better knowing that she had a good chance of moving on and finding her way back to how she was prior to all of this madness. Although she was immensely grateful for her very first and (hopefully) only romantic experience, thus far, she was excited to just move on and continue to live her life as she had been.

...

Once she reached the icy shores of Ahtohallan, she turned to face Nokk and thanked them for the trip.

"You stay safe," she said as she gently pressed her forehead against the water horse's snout, "and I'll come find you after I'm done here."

The Nokk just stared at her, as if they were urging her to reconsider what she was about to do. While Elsa normally loved that her and the spirits could connect mentally, she wished that they would stop fussing over her more 'human' issues.

"Everything will be alright, you'll see." Elsa reassured the spirit.

They whinnied and scratched their hooves against the ice, trying to get the ice wielder to think about everything once more.

"Don't be silly," Elsa said, rolling her eyes and trying her best to calm the spirit, "I've thought this through and it is the best option."

The water horse just stared at her with an expression akin to saying 'are you serious, right now?'.

With another eye roll, Elsa sighed. "I know it seems rash, but it will be what is best in the end. You'll see." although she was trying to convince the spirit, it was almost as if she was still trying to convince herself.

...

After leaving Nokk on the shores of Ahtohallan, Elsa ventured further into the glacier on her own. Even though the water spirit hardly ever came into the ice glaciers with her, she told them to leave so she could be by herself. She needed to add emphasis on doing this task alone – she felt as if it needed to be done this way. This was between herself and Tina. Well – Tina's letter.

When she approached her desired destination, overlooking down a massive drop deep within the glacier, she took a deep breath to calm her nerves. She closed her eyes and tried to focus on the cool breeze wafting through the glacier. She tried to centre herself and focus on the feeling of the snow and ice beneath her feet – listening to the way it crunched and crinkled softly under her weight.

Taking one more deep breath, Elsa took the letter out from one of her dress' inner pockets. Once she had it in her hands she reopened her eyes. She stared at the envelope in her had as if it was some foreign object. Even though this simple piece of paper had been plaguing her thoughts for about a week and a half, she had avoided physically touching it or looking at it for prolonged periods of time. Well...until right now of course.

Now that she was looking directly at the letter, she couldn't help but feel a pulling sensation in her chest. Almost as if something was sitting on her chest and abdomen; preventing her from breathing steadily. On top of her body's physical response to the letter, something in her mind kept telling her to rip the envelope's seal and read the letter once. Just once. Elsa's long and slender pale fingers toyed with the seam of the letter's seal and she would be lying if her thoughts, about reading the letter, were not convincing. However, she managed to shake her head and physically redirect her thoughts to her task.

"You've just got to pull it together, Elsa." the ice wielder reminded herself. "J-Just take the letter and t-throw it down into the trench." this was probably the eight-hundredth time she has told herself the plan out loud. Thinking it, in her mind, was proving to be very difficult so she hoped that manifesting would be better (It wasn't but what was she to do otherwise?).

She took a few steps forward, toward the massive trench that was hidden deep within the ancient glacier. Some of the ice beneath her feet gave way and crunched until a small piece broke off. She watched as the small piece of ice began to fall into the trench. As it tumbled down, her mind was waiting for the sound of a faint thud as it reached the bottom, but she knew that the crevice was too deep and the piece of ice was way too small. She felt a shudder go down her spine as she swallowed the lump that formed in her throat as she peered over the ledge. The last time she was here, she fell down and nearly became apart of Ahtohallan's physical icy landscape. Quickly, she regained her composure and took a few steps back – just to be safe.

"Okay, okay..." Elsa chanted to herself, regaining her bearings. "...you can do this, Elsa. Just open the letter and toss it down into the abyss. Not difficult. Not hard. Just do it." despite her mantra, she still had yet to throw the offending letter down into the depths of of the ancient and magical river. Groaning in frustration she tore the letter in half and tossed one half down into the trench. After the momentum of that first gesture, she threw the remaining half with it.

So...

...now what?

She thought that she would feel different after throwing the letter away. She thought she would feel full again. Instead, she felt empty.

Hollow.

Incomplete.

No matter, she told herself, the letter is gone.

However, Elsa didn't anticipate one small thing.

Before Elsa could fully walk away, she began to hear a whisper from behind her. She turned around to see a small hint of light emanating from the trench. Elsa narrowed her eyes at the phenomena and slowly began to approach the area she was standing in just moments before. As she got closer, the voices became louder and the lights got brighter.

Elsa watched as the mysterious snow cloud glowed and dance through the air, before regrouping and making a picture for her.

Once enough of the snow particles grouped together, Elsa gasped at the sight. "T...Tina?"

While Tina was writing her letter, she let out her own frustration tears. As such, the princess' tears fell onto the page as she wrote – mingling with the ink on the page. Because of the dried moisture on the paper, Ahtohallan's magic was able to project the letter's words for Elsa.

As the princess' voice echoed throughout the entire glacier, Elsa looked on in wonder, shock, longing, and confusion. All the blonde could do was watch helplessly as the snowy image of the princess manifested before her. Her mind was telling her to turn away but her heart was screaming at her to stay put and listen to what the magic (and...Tina?) had to say to her. The snowy image of Princess Tina began to speak and her voice started to echo throughout the cavern.

.

[x]

"My dearest Elsa,

Dreaming seems to be the only realm in which I can exist peacefully anymore. However, I'm currently writing this letter after our...talk, so for a brief time, reality is sweeter than sleep. My guest bed is taunting me now – with you here with me, it felt perfect. But now that you've gone, I can feel the emptiness and it hurts a little. It hurts to know we can't have this.

It hurts to just pretend.

After all that we have gone through, over these past few weeks, I hate the fact that we will just be memories to one another. I don't wish to be a memory for you although I know you'd rather keep pretending.

But you won't be a memory for me. You'll be one of my dreams. One of those dreams that I have while my eyes are open. One of those dreams that haunt my days as they fade into nothingness. One of those dreams that scream at me and make my heart ache in the silence of my new reality.

But that's what we have to do.

I'm sorry I was reckless and unrelenting with my feelings for you. Perhaps if I just listened to Arnold and behaved, we would not have gone as far as we did. But no matter – we did what we did and we had what we had. All I wish for you to know is that if I was ever fortunate enough to be given the chance to love you, I would do so fully, completely and without restraint. I would have done anything to keep you happy, satisfied, and everything in between and beyond.

I also wish that you could've shown me all that you are. Your sister loves to talk about your past and how it has shaped you – kept you guarded in a way. I wish you didn't have to feel that way and I wish that you could have shown me everything that makes you – well – you. You are truly more magnificent than any of the books or tall tales have painted you and I will forever be grateful to have figured that out for myself. I wish I could show you how hard I would try to be yours – to be worthy of even being considered as yours.

I know that whatever I have felt for you will never match anything I will ever feel again. I will be thinking of you everyday.

I'm sorry we have to pretend. I'm sorry that I never got to show you how worthy you are of what you keep yourself from having. If you should read this at all – thank you. And if you don't – thank you for humouring me.

Take care of yourself, and the forest.

Yours for as long as you wish to consider me so,

Tina"

.

Almost as soon as it had appeared, the magic snow, the lights, and Tina's image started to dissipate into the abyss. As she watched the image of Tina fade away, the ice wielder felt her heart sink into her stomach.

"No!" Elsa cried out, "Wait!" she ran towards the edge of the cliff, overlooking the trench. She didn't know what she was expecting, but she just didn't want this to be the last time she saw Tina's sweet face or the last time she heard her angelic voice. She looked down and saw nothing but darkness.

"No..." she whispered as everything quieted down again.

After all...that had happened, Elsa realized that she couldn't move on because she didn't want to. She didn't want to forget Tina. She didn't want to go back to a world where someone didn't hold her interest romantically. She didn't actually want everything to go back to what it was before everything changed.

She wanted to be herself to the fullest extent.

She wanted to be with Tina.

[x]

Well. There was only one thing left to do then. Elsa shook her head at her own thoughts. "I need to get to Vennesvurg."

...

[The Enchanted Forest, Norway]

Elsa rode the Nokk back towards the Northuldra settlement. Ever since her trip to Ahtohallan, earlier that day, she couldn't help but regret throwing the letter out. However, she probably wouldn't have opened it on her own and she wouldn't have come to the revelation that she came to. If she was some type of canine animal, she would no doubt be walking with her tail between her legs.

Once she reached the settlement, she thanked the Nokk for the trip and told them to retreat back to the North Sea. She scanned the camp, looking for Ryder and Honeymaren. Eventually, she spotted them by the main fire pit. They were probably cleaning up after the children had their lunch gathering. She walked towards them and Ryder was the first to spot her. He began to wave erratically, trying to get her to wave back.

"Hey, Elsa!" he said as she approached them. When she was close enough, his smiling face turned into a confused expression. "Um...why are you...wet?" the ice wielder just sighed.

"I...I'll explain later." she told him with a shy smile and a shrug. "For now though, we need to go back to Arendelle." the ice wielder figured that Anna would be helpful in figuring out how to get to the princess.

"Oh, what a coincidence." Honey said, digging into her pocket for something. Elsa watched as she pulled out a small folded piece of paper. Honeymaren then handed it over to the blonde. "Gale just gave us a note. I think it was supposed to be for you though." before Elsa could ask any further, her eyes travelled downwards and focused on the unfolded piece of paper in her grasp.

.

Hey Elsa,

It's Anna. Please come back to Arendelle as soon as you can.

Not a family emergency, but I would really appreciate your input on this.

Love you,

Your favourite sister

.

"Anna wants us back in Arendelle?" Elsa asked aloud, after reading the note. She wondered what on earth was going on. No matter, she thought, hopefully I can ask her for help on how to get to Vennesvurg.