Previously: The demons attacked a seal as a diversion, but Castiel found out that they are trying to capture Anna. He gets Zachariah's permission to take action. The Winchesters are protecting the fallen Angel and resist against Uriel and Castiel. Anna uses the banishment sigil, once again eluding them.
This chapter takes place in season 4 episode 10.
oOo
Sentiments
Wrapped in pearly slippers, twirling feet tip-toeing on the polished wooden floor, reflecting a white figure like a mirror. Bare, slender legs. A young woman's body curves, spins and flows like water across ice in the sunlight. Her face, carved in silk and light, is smiling serenely as her arms gracefully rise under the music's spell. The lights following her every movement makes the golden powder on her eyelids glisten. The ballerina's soul is humming in harmony as she moves across the stage framed by huge, dark red velvet drapes. On the waxed floor, the memory of her body in a cloudy tutu is glowing.
The music flows, sparkling with crystal shards, showering the vast space with raining stars. Soft flapping of wings disrupts the whole scene, signaling other Angels in coming.
Sitting in my red seat, I look away from the soul to the entire Garrison around me, filling all the golden balconies. Some of them are whispering to one another, others remain silent, but nobody but me has even glanced at the ballerina - born on a Thursday - who was brutally raped and had her throat slit open by some evil stalker the very day before she was to perform at the Opéra Garnier in Paris. She dreamed of this moment for her entire life and it was supposed to be her crowning glory. Her Paradise keeps playing over and over again these few hours when, filled with happiness, she danced to prepare this performance that she would never get to make, not knowing that she was living the last moments of her short life.
On my left, Uriel is standing still as a statue.
Another rustle of feathers, and Ophaniel appears on one of the balconies opposite to us. She places a hand on the ledge and looks around and then fixes her gaze on me, her face unreadable. Ecanus sits at her side and they share a silent glance. Or maybe they are talking to each other through telepathy.
The building's architecture is stunning, and above our heads there is a magnificent ceiling fresco. Just like Lavavoth said, my siblings have recently acquired a taste for human Paradises, and diligently search for the best ones to hold their meetings and discussions. I can only guess that this isn't to the liking of the division in charge of Axis Mundi. I never thought I would start a trend the first time I used a Paradise as a meeting room.
The circular painting above the chandelier glittering with gold and light depicts Angels, or at least celestial beings as Humans portray them. They look human in appearance, naked and winged. I squint indecisively. I don't know if I should be complacent, impressed or offended by this artwork. Whoever painted this couldn't have known that the generalized use of vessels is very recent and in no way representative of our true appearance. Besides, we are required to keep the vessel's clothes as they are, unless they do not fit in with the human codes of power and authority. Well, the unranked Cherubs are the exception to this rule.
I look down to marvel at the carved gilding adornments all around and the dark red seats arranged in a half circle on the ground level and perched in the balconies. My two hundred soldiers are sitting on one side, and the two hundred members of the Council on the other. When Zachariah and Brap walk onto the stage, it pulls me out of my contemplation, and I can feel my wings clenching.
"Brap and I are presiding today over this unusual session," says Zachariah with his hands clasped behind his back.
Amplified by the unique acoustics here, his voice carries strongly inside the Opera, and behind them the soul keeps dancing, too absorbed in her memory to even notice anything else. This is what happens to all souls in Heaven, with a few exceptions - like Ash - who wake up from their state of happiness to regain consciousness, until the assigned Angels force them back into their memory.
Standing on the stage, Zachariah and Brap pay no attention to the ballerina. In his tall, slender vessel, Brap pushes his round, yellow glasses up over his nose and speaks in a slightly nasal voice.
"As you know, Castiel let Anael escape again, and personally I suspect it is no coincidence, more like misplaced loyalty for his former General."
"Nobody asked you, Brap," Ophaniel says coldly. "The point of this crisis meeting is to locate and execute the rebel, not for you to waste our time with your personal considerations."
Brap snaps his wings open and the spotlights casts a white flash over his glasses.
"Opha, how many times do I have to tell you to ask permission to speak before you open your–"
"Brap," Zachariah cuts him with a hand on his shoulder. "Don't forget that Castiel is under my immediate supervision. If there are any suspicions of betrayal against my subordinate, I will handle it myself."
The voices ring out in the vast auditorium, while the music sets a more cadenced and grander rhythm that the ballerina follows with a few hops, her arms elegantly deployed.
"Right!" Zachariah cheerfully claps his hands. "Let me remind you the reason why we are gathered here. Castiel over here found out that Anna, who was untraceable to us for over twenty years, is being hunted by demons and still has access to our chats through celestial channels. The Communications Division is currently working to correct this problem and cut off access to her. It also seems that she remembers everything, since she used the forbidden seal of banishment to cast out Uriel and Castiel. So what's the problem, you might ask? Well, by the time our two brothers recovered the use of their Grace, the Winchesters and their little pet demon found a way to hide themselves and Anna from us! Now we can't locate them. The question now is: how to track them down?"
An Angel - whom I only know by name: Rgoan - stands up in one of the highest balconies.
"I read Uriel's detailed mission failure report, and none of this would have happened if Castiel hadn't bothered to chat with Dean Winchester, leaving time for Anael to escape from us. Unlike Brap, I don't think Castiel is still loyal to Anael, but..." He points an accusing finger at me. "… he is clearly compromised and developing feelings for the righteous man!"
Shocked whispering rises from as I open my eyes wide. Where is this nonsense coming from?
I can see from the corner of my eye that Uriel is pressing his lips with open disgust. As for Hester, she slapped a hand on her chest, gaping with indignation.
"Remember what happened the last time one of us was assigned as a Guardian," Rgoan says with conviction. "Castiel is on a slippery slope, and in great need to be sent on rehabilitation to get back on line!"
Some of my soldiers splutters angrily. The music spirals out dramatically, growing louder and louder.
"Rgoan, you goat mouth breeder!" Zedekiel jumps to his feet, barely restrained by Levanael who looks utterly baffled.
"Zedekiel, sit back down!" I hiss through my teeth. "You're making it worse!"
"I can't just sit there and let him say that!" Zedekiel snarls, struggling to break free from Levanael's iron fist.
The ballerina's soul keeps spinning around while my siblings raise their voices and start throwing slurs from balcony to balcony.
"Let's get it over with and just send him to rehabilitation!" a few dozen Angels are shouting.
I can feel my Grace freezing. My deep-rooted fear of rehabilitation is running through my veins, paralyzing me.
"This is ridiculous and a waste of our time," Uriel groans at my side, slumping a bit more into his seat with obvious annoyance.
Half of the congregation is now standing up and shouting over the increasing volume and tempo of the music. With his hands raised in a pacifying gesture, Zachariah is vainly trying to bring back peace, disregarded by Brap who went and joined the others in a fiery argument about Dean and I.
"Take him to rehabilitation at once!" someone is yelling in this chaos.
Ecanus slams his fist onto the gilding of his balcony banister, splitting it all the way down with a loud cracking sound.
"Stop this nonsense!" he shouts to cover the other voices with his own. "Castiel is fighting a war, and his Garrison needs him to lead them! There is no time for rehabilitation!"
"Why are you all so fixated on Castiel?" Ophaniel argues adamantly. "Uriel was there with him every time, and I can't see anyone charging him with such serious accusations!"
"It's quite simple, really." Brap snorts dismissively. "Uriel, for one thing, has never shown any hint of emotion, he's not a Guardian, and he's actually the one who reported Castiel's deviant behavior!"
I sharply turn my head to Uriel, staring at him in disbelief and betrayal. He merely arches an eyebrow and shrugs.
"What?" he says in a defensive tone. "II had a duty to report it, as you know. You did the same thing for Anna before she was rehabilitated, remember. I did it for your sake."
I clench my fists and press my lips together, short of words. Uriel has a point. He did what he had to do, what his duty required of him.
"Let's focus on the actual issue, kids," Zachariah calls, growing restless all alone on the stage. "We're here to figure a way to rat Anna out of her hole without harming wonder boy Dean, not to gossip and squabble!"
He rams his heel into the waxed floor with such vigor it cracks the stage surface with a loud crack that finally brings back silence.
"Well then!" Zachariah smooths down his suit with a smirk on his face. "I see that Castiel's alleged soft spot for the righteous man sparks your interest... Now, back to Anna, please. We need to find her, preferably with the Winchesters' help. Any ideas?"
He watches over the assembly with an inviting smile, and Ophaniel stands up in a dignified way.
"I suggest that we use the communication channels to tell Anna that we are looking for her. Let's give her an ultimatum. If she has even the smallest shred of obedience and decency left, she will give herself up like the good soldier she once was."
"A traitor like her?" Leoc sneers. "Yeah, right!"
Rgoan is the next one to speak up.
"I recommend that Castiel visits Dean's dream when he's asleep - as you know, human dreams allow us a shifting access from Heaven - and threatens Sam's life. This Winchester idiot is so fond of his abomination of a little brother, this is the most reliable way. Let's give him a choice, to this free-will creature: Sam or Anael. He will hand her over to us with a ribbon around her, for sure."
Only once my fingers are dug into the balcony ledge - so hard that it's cracking under my fingernails - and my wings spread open wide, do I realize that I've jumped to my feet, driven up by a searing burst of outrage.
"We can't do that to Dean! I know his soul and the way he thinks. Threatening Sam and compelling him to betray someone under his protection will ruin every shred of respect he has for me!"
"Castiel, shut up!" Uriel hisses through his teeth.
"The respect he has for you? Well, that's interesting. Why do you care how he feels about you, Castiel?" Rgoan grins triumphantly. "See?" he says to everyone. "I called it! Feelings!"
"It would be easier to just blow up the whole country!" Uriel exclaims, standing up angrily. "At least the target would be obliterated!"
"Silence!" Zachariah orders, but no one is listening.
"I find it very offensive to accuse our General of something as disgusting as feelings, especially for a Human!" Rachel rages on, pushing back Izraz who was trying to restrain her.
"Well, it's the truth. Assigning him to lead the Garrison was a mistake. Actually, the very existence of the Garrison is a mistake, they're just a bunch of useless, rebellious and Human-loving fools!"
Anger rises in me, boiling and threatening to burst out, for too long contained ever since I was promoted up the ranks. Still, I manage to control myself.
"Apologize." I raise my voice. "Right now."
Rgoan's grin broadens.
"You should have let Dean Winchester to rot in Hell, Castiel. Ever since you've been on trial with Camael, I've been saying over and over that both of you were rebels unworthy of being named Angels, and now, for the second time, facts are proving me right..."
There is a shriek of rage, and suddenly Rgoan gets yanked out of his balcony and smashed to the ground with a loud crash. I rush to the ledge to lean over and look down. And there is Hester in the middle of rubbles, her face twisted with wrath, straddling Rgoan and pounding his face with her fists. Blood splatters in scarlet drops, staining her hands and clothes.
"DON'T!" she roars. "EVER! INSULT MY GENERAL AGAIN!"
"Hester!" I shout, bewildered. "Stop! That's an order!"
No one is listening. All my soldiers are fighting, except for Levanael who's watching the scene, standing there in her white dress and blinking in dismay. They're viciously battling against the Council members. My brothers and sisters fighting each other – this is all too familiar, reminding me the major rebellion that erupted when Camael died.
"Soldiers!" I order with my most commanding voice. "Stop this at once!"
A violent wave of energy hits the balcony and makes the entire structure crumble into a golden cloud of dust. The Garrison soldiers and myself spread our wings open to move into the chaos, surrounded by a jumble of ripped off and ruined seats. I have no choice but to fight back the Council members by dodging multiple attacks in a confusion of shouting, music, blows and waves of energy wrecking the Opera, which doesn't regenerate quickly enough to absorb all the damage.
There is a cracking sound and I look up just in time to see a widening breach across the ceiling, slicing apart the colored fresco. When the chandelier falls into the battlefield, I barely escape the crystal and gold crashing down, while the other Angels step out with bloody skulls, looking even more eager to fight. I jump to the side to dodge Virgil's body, propelled through the wall, shattering it and ripping the veil of illusion to expose the Axis Mundi as it really is. Endless, empty voice, with only a bright, white path going through.
The Opera's ravaged setting is sizzling and trying so hard to rebuild itself as I rise to my feet - the chandelier just materialized again above. A fist crashes into my face, splitting my lip open with a gush of blood.
Brap. The General of the Plant Division raises his knee in an attempt to send me a kick.
"CASTIEL!" Levanael shouts out to alert me.
She jumps between Brap and me, taking the full impact of the kick in the stomach. The music turns grand and epic, and the soul is still dancing, oblivious to anything happening, while Hester rushes in to support Levanael. Together they hurl themselves onto Brap in spite of my objections. Attacking an Angel as high-ranking as Brap will not be without consequences.
"ENOUGH!" Zachariah's amplified voice echoes in all our heads. "Seize Castiel."
Levanael opens her eyes wide and Hester clenches her bloodied fists, but they're forced aside by some of my own soldiers: Rzionr Nrzfm, Mgam, Habioro - and Virgil who just came back. They restrain me even though I'm not resisting, and Zachariah appears in front of me in a rustle of feathers.
"I didn't start any of this, Zachariah," I argue.
He raises an eyebrow when the music resumes its endless loop, gentle and peaceful again. All eyes are on me while the Opera is rebuilding itself around us, concealing once again the Axis Mundi.
"Indeed you didn't," he concedes. "But this incident happened because of you and the way your soldiers behaved was appalling. A superior's duty is to take responsibility for any crap from his subordinates, just in the same way that I will be held accountable for your behavior." He's not smiling, and cold anger is radiating in his aura. "A decision has to be made, we already wasted way too much time. So you will jump right into Dean's dream as we agreed. That's an order."
I hold his gaze unblinkingly. I can feel warm blood running down my chin to my neck.
"No," I snarl.
Someone lets out an outraged yelp somewhere behind me.
"Disobedience!"
This is getting ridiculous.
"This is not disobedience!" I snap back indignantly. "All I'm saying is that we can find a more efficient method that won't make the righteous man to hate us. Do I need to remind you that he's meant to defeat Lucifer for us?"
Zachariah narrows his eyes.
"That is not the point, my dear Castiel. Maybe Brap does have a point after all. Your allegiance to the righteous man, if proven accurate, could hinder your duties as a General. This matter needs to be considered. More paperwork ahead, wonderful."
"Thank you for finally acknowledging it," Brap says in a drawling voice, wiping his round glasses with his shirt. "I've been telling you for the last two billion years: I'm always right."
Zachariah sighs and slowly turns away, hands clasped behind his back.
"Castiel. You are relieved of your duties as General."
My breath gets stuck in my throat as I open my eyes wide. There is whispering rising up from my soldiers' ranks.
"This is only a temporary measure," he adds. "You will work under Uriel's supervision, who will assume your functions and command as General until we get the result of your evaluation. The first indication of feelings will send you straight to rehabilitation. This is a just a formality, but I do hope that you will put an end to these silly rumors about you." He turns his head to glance back over his shoulder. "Uriel will handle that dream chat with Dean. In the meantime, I suggest you reflect on what really is important." He gestures at my soldiers. "Take him to solitary confinement. That will help him cool down."
oOo
The sound of crackling fire feels so loud in this silence.
I've been through this once before. It was a long time ago.
The same solid gold columns, towering and melting into the overflowing light. Wings folded behind my back, I look down in fear to the ring of fire surrounding me. Its fiery reflection in the marble floor doesn't match the flickering rhythm of the flames - as though it's dissociated from their time course - and sometimes it even fades out altogether. My own reflection only emerges sporadically, displaying a faceless, light-fracked version of my vessel. There are countless shadows slithering all around on the ground, but so fleetingly that I can't get a good look at them, they remain lurking at the edge of my eyesight.
I don't know if these oddities violating every law of physics can only be sensed through a flesh-and-blood vessel, or if I was so distraught the last time I was here that I just didn't notice anything.
Jimmy's soul is getting restless inside of me, affected by the fluctuating flow of time. I can feel it growing older and younger simultaneously, filled with primal fear. I wrap my Grace around it tighter to shield it from this place's effects.
I'm quite uncomfortable myself. The excruciating silence in my head, the lack of voices from my siblings, and the time effects that my aura barely manages to keep out, all of this is becoming harder and harder to endure. I can't tell whether I've been here for a thousand years, a century, or just a month. It seems like time doesn't just move forward, instead it pauses or even goes backwards.
The Apocalypse may have already happened and I am not even aware of it. Humanity may have been obliterated, Earth devastated, the Last Judgment already over... and I may have been forgotten here for the rest of eternity.
Dean Winchester may have died a long, long time ago.
My Grace pulses painfully, and a deep kind of sadness drowns me. I should experience regret and shame for questioning an order from my superior. But I don't.
Zachariah is not God. And Zachariah is wrong. I was right to object. Threatening and tormenting the righteous man would be unwise and cruel, unworthy of our role. Dean is a rational and virtuous being, whose blood carries our Father's love. All I would need is to be allowed to talk to him, to explain things to him, and then maybe... maybe if I could win his trust...
I pull my wings even closer to my vessel, wrapping it with my translucent, ice-like feathers. The holy fire stirs up a deep, instinctive terror in me, reminder of Angels burning to death during the aborted Apocalypse. I could perish in unimaginable agony if one of these flames brushed against a single one of my feathers.
I carefully raise a hand in front of my face, sensing the fluctuating and chaotic flow of time against my Grace protecting this artistic composition of bones, veins, articulations and flesh. I hold my breath and let my Grace slowly withdraw from my fingers, then from my entire hand down to my wrist. Instantly, the work of time's effects show on Jimmy's skin. From one moment to the next, as though touched by an invisible snake, part of the hand withers and decays, revealing bones that eventually turn to dust. And this, only to regenerate and grow back into the chubby hand of a child and then of an infant, then disappear entirely.
"Fascinating, is it not?"
A soft flapping of wings stops my contemplation, and I let my Grace take back control of my hand, looking up at Uriel. Hands in his pockets, my brother is smiling and there is a twinkle in his eyes, like he's having a hard time containing his laughter.
"No other creature but us could ever step in here without falling prisoner of time, simultaneously dead and alive, here and elsewhere, at the dawn and the end of their life. Forever hanging between being and not being."
He pulls one hand out of his pocket and slowly lowers it, putting down the flames surrounding me. I instantly relax and stretch out my ethereal wings behind my back as I take a step towards my brother. His vibrant aura of energy expands and wraps around me, building some kind of dome shielding us from the flow of time.
"Uriel. How many years have I been here?"
Unexpectedly, Uriel bursts out laughing, slams his hand on my shoulder and wraps one of his wings around me. He hasn't been so affectionate for a long time.
"Only a few hours, Cas, but so much has happened! Can you believe that... oh, it's so... you won't believe what your little hairless monkey did... ah ah ah!"
A few hours? I can't help but shudder just thinking that Camael spent more than a thousand years suffering such torture.
What I don't understand is Uriel's hilarity. He is bent over, slapping his knee and laughing endlessly.
"What's so funny?"
He finally manages to speak, his shoulders shaking with laughter.
"Your monkey banged Anna!"
"What?"
Finding some kind of control back, Uriel straightens up and lets go of my shoulder, staring at me with a broad smile filled with affection and provocative mockery.
"Oh, this is perfect. While you were rotting in here for standing up for him, your little pet was screwing our sister. Seems like betraying Heaven and the Garrison wasn't enough for Anna, she simply couldn't help fornicating with monkeys too!"
I open my mouth and close it shut, speechless. Using a vessel to engage in human - or animal - copulation is something no one in Heaven would even dare to mention. It's a rule rarely discussed because it's disgraceful and almost never broken.
Even though from a technical point of view, there is no vessel, involved here since Anna's human body actually belongs to her and holds no soul.
This is no laughing matter. Uriel shouldn't be laughing about this.
"So you located Dean and Anna," I say in a neutral tone.
"I did, using Rgoan's idea approved by Zachariah. And it worked: as soon as I threatened his brother, Dean promptly turned Anna in. I guess her sexual feats weren't so impressive!" He chuckles at his own joke, then all amusement drops from his face as he spreads his wings. "You'll be under my command until further notice, Castiel. Follow me. We're going to blast Anna off this world once and for all, and I'm going to enjoy ripping apart this traitor to her own kind."
oOo
The flow of my brethren's whispers seeps into my Grace like warm honey, grounding me back and restoring the holy bond binding me to Heaven. Before us rises an old barn in the middle of the woods. Uriel's information was correct, judging by the black vehicle concealed in the vegetation, that I recognize as the property of the Winchesters.
"So, Castiel, this is how we're going to proceed: just keep quiet and let me do all the talking. It's never wise to think on a mission. All you have to do is obey, it's that easy."
I merely nod, torn between the bitter humiliation of having to follow my soldier's orders and the resentful longing to see Anna again.
Anna. My sister, but more importantly the one who has been, since my early days, the anchor of my Faith, my support and my guidance. The one who abandoned us at the direst moment. The one who struggled long before me with the same doubts that are now tormenting me.
Torn by the widest range of emotions I have ever experienced, I walk to my brother's side to the barn. With a faint flick of his fingers, he raises a gust of wind that brutally opens the doors, exposing the inside where the Winchester brothers are standing and...
We stepped forward, the doors closing behind us.
Looking so small between the two Humans, there stands what at first glance seems to be a young woman with ginger hair.
Anna.
I can feel, weak and faded, her Grace's echo throbbing in the flow of the blood pumped by the heart. Sam holds out an arm as though to protect her, but all I can focus on is Anna's face. Although there is no aura, no wings, and no true form around this body made of flesh and blood, I would know this gaze and this presence anywhere.
A dignified and alert look hiding behind resigned dread. The eyes of a General who knows exactly what lies ahead.
Millions of years of memories seize me, reliving the old flame of my devotion to her that I had buried when I took over her command.
"Hello, Anna. It's good to see you."
My voice sounds odd to my own ears, filled with a yearning I can't contain. A yearning for a long-gone age when I had no doubts, when the Garrison was united under Anna's strong grip.
"How? How did you find us?" Sam exclaims.
He's glowering at us with blatant defiance, lacking the naive admiration he displayed when we first met. The demonic and fluctuating features of his face are more pronounced and repellent - which makes sense, if he has been drinking demon blood since.
I lay my eyes on Dean whose face openly shows remorse and the pain it causes him. I wish I could tell him that I never wanted this to happen like this. But I'm under watch. Uriel will report my behavior to Zachariah if I prove them right about my alleged... feelings.
Is this what it is? Feelings? Was Rgoan right about me?
I don't think so. It can't be. Samandriel and Anna once told me that we are unable to feel like Humans do. That nothing we experience is comparable to human emotions.
I look down, distraught, as Sam and Anna notice the broken look on the righteous man's face.
"… Dean?" whispers Sam, like he can't believe it.
With eyes brimmed with tears and his jaw clenched, Dean turns his head towards Anna.
"I'm sorry."
"Why?" asks his younger brother in a reproachful tone.
"Because they gave him a choice." Anna's new human voice still carries her former rank's confidence. "They either kill me... or kill you."
I keep my eyes on the ground, staring at those three pairs of feet. Anna knows what she's talking about. She has given the same kind of orders many times in the past - she knows what it means to lead the Garrison. The orders we are executing today are not that different from what we did to Judas, Pharaoh, or Cain.
"I know how their minds work," she continues in a harsh and accusing voice.
I look up to realize that she is glaring at me intensely. Me, not Uriel. She's holding me accountable as General. If her access to the communication channels has been cut off, she most likely doesn't know about my demise.
I should be the one getting angry. Anna betrayed us, she abandoned us, and it's entirely her fault if I bear the burden of the responsibilities that she has dumped on me. It was her selfishness that forced me to take on this role that I never wanted! It's because of her that I found out what was going on in the higher command and that now I'm plagued by doubts!
But I can't bring myself to feel anger. The judgment in her eyes just makes me feel worse, and my wings drop behind my back.
Millions of years of obedience, submission and blind trust can't be undone in just two decades. Her disapproval fills me with irrational shame.
Finally, Anna turns to the righteous man, touching his arm and reaching out to press her lips against his. To see my sister, my General, once a Warrior of the Lord and fine strategist, stooping to such a human and primal action is a shock.
So Uriel was right. Anna did engage in breeding organic rituals. This is the reason why she left us to our fate, to the Apocalypse and to the schemes of the hierarchy! This is why she betrayed the Garrison!
She wanted to get what she started to envy hundreds of millennia ago: feelings. Something I am now wrongly accused of.
A burning wave of anger sets my Grace ablaze and stiffens my wings.
Anna breaks the kiss.
"You did the best you could," she says to Dean. "I forgive you."
Forgiveness... Isn't that a virtue that can only be found in Humans and Father? Angels are not capable of forgiveness. Nor of hatred, or love. And yet, these definitions come close to what I have for Anna. Resentment, anger, longing...
My emotions will get me into trouble if I'm not careful. I can't let anything through, I'm being watched. I lower my gaze as I try to resorb the turmoil of my Grace, but I look up again when Anna speaks, stepping resolutely towards us.
"Okay. No more tricks. No more running. I'm ready."
In her frail human body stripped of her Grace, Anna is standing before us, awaiting her execution with a soldier's dignity. Might as well get it over with as quickly as possible. Whether by our hands here and now, or by the demons, Anna is doomed.
She has to die.
"I'm sorry."
My voice sounds like the echo of the righteous man's words.
A bitter smile grazes her lips.
"No. You're not. Not really. You don't know the feeling."
I am, though. I am sorry. Or at least… I believe I am. Certainly not in the human definition of the word, but I really tried to defend Anna, to spare her the execution. Seeing my siblings lose their way and die is never pleasant. And even though we were unable by nature to shed tears neither for Siosp nor for Camael, Anna's fate is affecting me much more than these ancient executions. Anna has been my mentor ever since my creation. She was an important part of my world.
Sadness at the loss of what was and never will be again... Wishing that circumstances and orders were different... Is it not what being sorry means?
Does she think it's easy for me to kill her? This is undoubtedly the hardest thing I've ever been ordered to do in my entire life. So, so much harder than killing hundreds of innocent Humans.
"Still, we have a history…" I say hesitantly.
I can't tell her about my doubts. About Heaven's confusing orders. About Dean Winchester's tragic fate. About the fact that I'm starting to understand some of the things she told me in the past.
How could I ever begin to explain?
"It's just…"
"Orders are orders. I know," she snaps. "Just make it quick."
I feel empty. I am under the obligation to destroy the only one who could understand and explain to me the recent changes within me. Should I say something? Farewell? I can't think of anything to say that would make it better.
Suddenly four demons appear behind Anna and the Winchesters - the slimy, twisted features of their faces conceal the human ones they're possessing, like organic masks. They're holding Ruby, wobbling on her legs, her belly soaked with blood. A suffocating stench of sulfur immediately infects the air.
"Don't you touch a hair on that poor girl's head," says one of them in a drawling voice.
I tense up and spread my immaterial wings. From the corner of my eye, I can see Uriel doing the same as his threatening aura fills with power. He steps heavily towards the enemies - while Ruby scrambles away to safety - with a seeming calm attitude that I have seen many times before. This is how he looks just before a battle. I know him enough to see that on the inside he is thrilled, thirsting for violence.
"How dare you come in this room… you pussing sore?"
The demon walks closer - clearly the leader of this intervention - showing no fear whatsoever. Is this recklessness, arrogance, or the certainty of being protected by a weapon? Maybe the one I've been tracking since Ephra's death...
"Name-calling!" He narrows his eyes. "That hurt my feelings… you sanctimonious, fanatical prick."
Starting a fight here and now would waste precious time and not only give Anna the opportunity to escape us once again, but also endanger the perfect vessels for Michael and Lucifer. Our mission is to execute Anna, not to go around battling common demons. We don't have time for this nonsense.
"Turn around and walk away now," I say in a commanding tone.
The demon seems completely unimpressed.
"Sure. Just give us the girl. We'll make sure she gets punished good and proper."
He even has the nerve to wink at me.
It would seem that our two thousand years long retreat to Heaven was enough to diminish the fear demons once had of us. Or is it the upcoming Apocalypse and possessing this secret weapon that makes them so disrespectful?
The ruthless war we've been waging for weeks, no demon can possibly be unaware of our power. Even though seals are breaking one by one - forty-five already - thousands of demons died in the process.
Three demons against two Angels - one being Uriel, the strongest warrior of all divisions. They don't stand a chance. Who do they think they are? This is nothing but a foolish provocation. How dare they.
"You know who we are and what we will do," I say sternly. "I won't say it again. Leave now... or we lay you to waste."
"Think I'll take my chances," the demon hisses back insolently.
Is it our - my - failure to protect the seals that let demons think they can insult us and not face consequences? Just how much more humiliation am I going to endure? The hierarchy, my subordinates, and even Dean Winchester... now even common demons are looking down on me?
I'm going to teach them respect.
Everything happens very fast. Uriel is first to attack, handling two demons while I punch their leader, pounding my fist into his fist repeatedly. Once the enemy is stunned, I smash my open hand on his forehead, thrusting a purifying wave of my Grace into the body he's possessing.
Only, instead of burning from the inside as evil gets exorcised... absolutely nothing happens. I can feel my eyes widen in disbelief.
How come my Grace's celestial power isn't affecting him?
"Sorry, kiddo." The demon is gloating, unfazed by what's happening. "Why don't you go run to daddy?"
Taking advantage of my shock, he breaks free from my grasp and sends me to the ground with a punch far too powerful to be delivered by an ordinary demon.
And as the demon comes to straddle me, my entire Grace is throbbing with pain, paralyzed by the sheer violence of the blow I received. I had not experienced such a strong impact since the fight I lost against Camael. The enemy's hand is around my neck, and a dull fear creeps into me as he starts chanting.
"Potestas inferna, me confirma. Potestas inferna..."
My vision is blurring, gradually concealing that slimy face above me. I can feel my Grace loosening from the brain cells allowing me to control this body, and suddenly I can't move a limb anymore. While my vision and hearing totally disappear, leaving me in darkness and silence, I feel an evil and ice-cold power sliding in, pushing and wringing my Grace to extract Jimmy's soul from my protection. I sense Jimmy's terror and suffering as the slimy force wraps itself around him despite my efforts.
What is he trying to do with Jimmy? Jimmy Novak is under my responsibility. He trusted me with his body and soul, I can't let a demon harm him!
Panic overcomes me when I finally realize what my enemy's intention is. He's not trying to reach me, it's my vessel's soul he's after, to warp and make it turn evil. If Jimmy becomes a demon, his body will be unusable to me. Forever sullied.
No... NO!
I can no longer control my grace. All I feel is the darkness slowly making its way into the pure and shining soul of Jimmy, this devout and gentle Human being.
Suddenly, the icy darkness surrounding me withdraws without completing its work, allowing me to wrap my energy around Jimmy's terrified but unsullied soul once again. I get back my vessel's body sensations, my vision clears to reveal the barn roof, and I can hear clearly again.
"Dean, Dean, Dean... I am so disappointed. You had such promise."
The ground is cold and hard against my back and my skull, and I can barely move my fingers as my frozen Grace is just starting to fluidify. I can see out of the corner of my eye the demon attacking Sam and Dean, and I clench my teeth, focusing all my energy in my vessel's muscles. I am the righteous Man's Guardian, in charge of protecting the vessels of the Archangels... it is my duty to protect them!
I manage to pull myself up on my elbows, just in time to see Anna throw herself at Uriel and snatch away her Grace hanging from his neck in the vial, and smash it on the ground.
I can only stare wide-eyed as I feel this energy carrying the echoes of ancient times rise up, radiant and glowing, and then I see it seep into my sister's human body through her mouth, just like I have seen her so many times possessing Humans for our missions throughout the ages. But today, it's different. Once all the Grace has been absorbed, her body starts radiating light, as though fusing again with her holy spirit is causing a violent reaction. Anna falls to her knees, in obvious pain.
"Shut your eyes!" she says, struggling to rise to her feet again. "Shut your eyes!"
Even the demon stops torturing Sam and Dean and turns to look at her while light literally bursts out of her body.
"SHUT YOUR EYES!"
She throws her head back and I stare in wonder as her true form erupts from flesh and blood. Her true face flows over the young woman's, shaping her three green eyes recalling a not so distant past, but so out of reach now. Then her wide and powerful wings spring from her back, radiating so much light that it would surely make Jimmy go blind if my Grace weren't constantly healing his eye sockets before they burst into flames.
My dear sister, my General, in all her past glory... she who today is cut off from Heaven and from the love of the Lord.
Her power explodes in a blast, casting away all demons. And everything goes dark.
Anna is gone.
My Grace is fluid and flowing freely again, and I rise up, sharing a look with my brother who is clearly upset. The Winchester brothers appear to be unharmed. Dean bends down to pick up the demon-killing blade, and then glares at us with barely veiled contempt.
"Well, what are you guys waiting for? Go get Anna. Unless, of course, you're scared."
"This isn't over," Uriel snarls, taking an angry step forward.
I hold him back with a hand on his shoulder, pulsing a slight part of my Grace into his body to try to soothe him. I can feel how agitated his energy is, how much rage and frustration are consuming him. Even his breathing is labored. It's rare for Uriel to let his anger overpower him to the point where it shows physically through his vessel.
"Oh, it looks over to me, junkless," Dean retorts arrogantly.
Our mission here is over, I whisper into my brother's holy spirit. There is nothing more for us to do here.
Uriel relaxes slightly and spreads his wings. I take one last look at the righteous man. I wish I could thank him. He attacked an extremely powerful demon to save me. Without him, Jimmy's innocent soul would be damned, and I would have lost precious time in this war just to find and get a new vessel. Jimmy is a good man, and it would have been very regrettable if he had endured such a dreadful fate.
But I don't have time for this.
The barn vanishes around us, instantly replaced by my office's brightness.
"Fucking demons!" Uriel spits, seething with rage. "I called it, we should just have killed Sam and his evil little whore right from the start!"
He's obviously holding back from wrecking my office, which I'm grateful for.
"This is out of question, Uriel."
Uriel finally folds his wings back in frustration.
"I really wanted to kill Anna with my own hands," he growls, shoving his hands deep into his pockets.
I frown in disbelief.
"How can you even wish to kill one of us? I know Anna sinned in the worst way, and orders are orders, but..."
"She no longer is one of us, Castiel, she hasn't been for a long time. She betrayed the Garrison, she betrayed Heaven, and more importantly, she betrayed her own nature by choosing whining, crawling maggots over us."
Uriel is staring at me as he speaks, like he's studying my reactions. I merely squint. In these troubled times, I really don't like seeing the unity and harmony among my siblings crumbling, not even for a dissident like Anna. I have seen how much the Apocalypse and the Human issue is dividing Heaven – it was quite obvious from the Council overreacting to my protectiveness over Dean.
Probably best to just change the subject.
"Let's leave it at that. There's another thing bothering me, Uriel. The demon who attacked me..."
"Alastair."
I open my eyes wide.
"What did you say?"
Uriel scowls.
"The demon. The name's Alastair. One of Hell's most powerful vermin."
"Alastair... Why didn't you tell me? We could have captured him! He's the demon currently ruling Hell and the one who tortured Dean Winchester!"
"Oh for Heaven's sake, do you even hear yourself? Dean Winchester this, Dean Winchester that, will you stop for one minute?! Do I need to remind you the deep shit you're in and that at the slightest suspicion of feelings you'll go straight into rehabilitation? Forget about your bloody hairless monkey and think about your own kin instead!"
With a fierce flapping of wings, Uriel is gone, leaving me alone in my office.
oOo
In the next chapter
"You wanted to follow Lucifer...?"
"He had strong arguments."