Previously: There are only a few more seals left to break before Lucifer is set free. After Uriel's death and his army's betrayal, Castiel feels his doubts growing when he finds out about the hierarchy's schemes and lies. He also hears that there is a rumor about the Garrison Angels being infected with free will from being in contact with Humans. Zachariah summons Castiel and reveals Heaven's true plans: Castiel was a key player in bringing about the Apocalypse and now he has to let the three remaining seals be broken. The last one is Lilith's death by Sam's hand and Castiel chooses to rebel when he finds out. He steals a book from the library containing the seal Camael used on Cain, and plans to do the same to Sam and Dean…

This chapter takes place in season 4 episode 20.

oOo

Rebellion

The brick wall feels cold, hard and rough under my blood-soaked fingers. Perched on a pile of wooden pallets, I dig my hand back into my forearm's raw flesh that I sliced open with my blade, cutting through flesh and veins to the bone. My brain notifies me about Jimmy's soul hurting. I can even hear him screaming inside of me but I dismiss it. I have no time for compassion and I can't afford wasting energy to spare him the pain. Now is not the moment to treat my host decently.

I made my decision and it comes with sacrifices.

With a squishy sound, I draw my fingers from the mangled flesh, dripping with blood, and use it to keep painting the symbols on the wall. With my heart beating wildly I hastily finish my work - time is running out. It could all come down to a few minutes or seconds and all I can do is hope that Dean and Sam will get there quick. I can't go and get them myself. I have no way of knowing how closely we are being watched. The warm drops of blood run down to my elbow and soak the fabric of the rolled-up sleeve of my coat. I anxiously glance around to check that no Angel is coming. The celestial channels show nothing unusual but I can't rely on them. I can't rely on anything anymore.

The banishing seal is now complete - there is blood trickling down the wall but the pattern perfectly preserves the subtle flow of energy. I replicated the seal Azazel once drew to cast me away, but with my own added modifications, I can now banish for an entire day as many Angels as I need. This is just a safety measure, but I can only use it once.

With a flap of my wings that echoes loudly, I fly down from my position, reappearing in the center of the vast space - from there, I can get a better look at the seal I just traced. As my Grace flows back into my arm to heal the wound, I roll down my sleeve and check out the wall very carefully. There, bathed in the artificial lights, the banishing seal is strikingly red in this cluttered floor of metal machinery. Far too obvious.

With a flick of my fingers, I drag against it a bunch of pipes, a plastic sheet and some boxes in order to conceal it. Should I be caught before I can achieve my aim, I need to have this hidden asset to get the element of surprise.

I carefully pick up the book I stole from the library and tuck it back under my arm, moistening my lips. Now I can start.

But first...

I turn around, frowning. Massive steel machines, identical in every way, line up all over the place, leaving only a narrow path between them, which hardly works for me. I need space, strategically in case I have to fight, and also to achieve my crime. The worst crime there is. The worst kind of disobedience.

I grit my teeth and snap my wings open, sending a blast of energy strong enough to push all the machines back against the walls in a roar of metal, clearing out the space.

Dust clouds silently rise in the air and the metal banging sounds still echo in my ears. The book weighs heavily under my arm and it seems to be pulsing with dull energy when I run my fingers over the golden engraved leather binding. My coat spreads out as I crouch down to place the massive book on the ground and hurriedly open it. There is gold inlaid on the pages' borders depicting a shimmering pattern - it strains and fades as I flip through the pages.

Concealment seals and spells flash before my eyes, growing increasingly sophisticated. I linger a few seconds on a basic seal that I could easily achieve: all I would have to do is to carve a prayer on a Human's skeleton to veil his location from the Angels. I can't settle for this, though. It's not enough - demons could still track them, and I know what my brothers and sisters would do. I know how they work, how they think. They will never stop, they will hunt them down, using other Humans, other means, filling their dreams with threats and illusions until they find them and use them as Destiny intended. They will stop at nothing until their mission is completed.

I'm already dooming myself to the harshest execution by rebelling the way I do. For my sacrifice not to be for naught, I have to do as Camael did. I must save Sam and Dean like he saved Cain, permanently shielding them from Angels and demons in every way possible.

I have no other choice. Betraying Heaven and God is the only way left for me to honor my primary mission of protecting Humanity and my role as Guardian of the Winchesters. My brothers and sisters won't understand my decision, like I couldn't understand Camael's once. They just can't. But I don't care anymore.

My fingers linger on one of the last pages. This is the spell. The one Camael used. The one that combines all of the book's seals into a single one and requires the sacrifice of a human life, blood, body and soul included. I search through the Enochian scriptures, my Grace freezing in my veins. I remember Camael's fist dripping with blood, hundreds of sacrificed souls escaping from his hand crushing the lifeless bodies...

Now I understand why he took so many lives that day. The seal is intricate and sophisticated, and it would take a lot of skill to use just one life to power the seal - the book suggests sacrificing at least ten lives to make sure it works.

Camael was not willing to take the risk, he has never been very skilled in seals and spells. I am. I've always excelled in mastering seals. Jimmy Novak's life will be enough to achieve my goal.

I have reached a turning point. I'm about to commit treason against Heaven, which I would never have even considered a few centuries ago. Or, to be honest, even a few months ago. But with my closest siblings' tragic deaths, the dire fate awaiting Dean and Sam, and how disenchanted I am with the hierarchy's decisions, manipulations, and dissimulations, I've been drawn into something dark with no return. Is this what Camael, Anna... or even Uriel experienced?

Anna was right. Choosing your own course of action is terrifying.

My fingers made of flesh, bones and skin run over the page's smooth surface, over the finely drawn lines of intertwined ink and gold - a higher-level seal of celestial energy, blood and human soul that I will need to build around Sam and Dean.

And to do that, I have to sacrifice this body and soul that are not mine and that I was only meant to borrow as a vehicle to fulfill my mission. The heartbeat pumps blood through the veins and I can feel every organ, even the thinnest vein of this flesh and bone body. Numb, wrapped inside my Grace, Jimmy Novak's soul is glowing, oblivious to my dire intentions for him. His soul won't survive the process. It will be drained of its essence, for the sole purpose of saving Sam and Dean. Jimmy Novak will never see his family again, he will never go to Heaven, his existence will be wiped out and annihilated to the core. To save Humanity from the Apocalypse. To save the Humans under my protection. To fulfill my own selfish and unholy desire.

More than my allegiance to Heaven and to God, it is my word, my oath to a faithful and devoted Human that I am betraying today.

I look up sharply when a concert of rustling feathers fills the air and my entire body stiffens. Right there, in a circle around me, the Garrison Angels are standing. I shut the book and leave it on the ground as I rise to my feet.

Clenching my fists and keeping my senses alert, I look around to assess the situation and plan my next move. There are only about a hundred Angels gathered around me, the Garrison is not complete.

"How did you know?"

My voice echoes in the silence. I won't even try to deny the facts. There's no point. I've been caught in the act, I thought I had more time. I was hoping I could avoid a confrontation but I have no choice but to fight my brothers in arms, my own soldiers. The ones who betrayed me and that I am betraying now.

Sam and Dean have yet to arrive, so all I have to do now is to stall and get rid of my brothers and sisters.

"We didn't. Zachariah just sent us the order," Baradiel replies.

"I refused to believe it when he told us..." Zedekiel steps forward, flipping back his blond hair from his face. "So it's true? You're disobeying? You, Castiel?"

I merely tilt up my chin and press my lips together. I have the advantage of my rank and their state of shock, and there's no Angel here who bests me in strength or strategy. However, at one to a hundred, my only chance is the banishing seal concealed behind the pipes and plastic sheets. If I manage to distract them, to make them quarrel, I could reach the seal and banish them all from here.

"It's like I don't know you anymore, Cas..." Zedekiel takes another step forward, gritting his teeth. "You've always been my inspiration, the one I looked up to as the finest soldier in the Garrison..."

"Oh, cut the pity party!" Rzionr Nrzfm snaps. "There's no point fussing over who betrayed who and why, our orders are to catch the rebel, not to have a chat with him! Should I just go ahead and fetch some tea and biscuits?"

"Will you SHUT UP?!"

I open my eyes wide and startle back when Rzionr Nrzfm is violently hurled across the place, crashing into a machine and causing the steel to bend from the impact. Zedekiel bares his teeth with a fiery snarl, rubbing the fist he just punched the Angel with.

I've never seen Zedekiel so upset before, and this is a weakness I intend to take advantage of. All I have to do is to stir up Zedekiel's anger to distract the other soldiers...

"You betrayed me first," I say, sounding way calmer than I feel. "You have no right to be angry, considering that you betrayed the Garrison to raise Lucifer and bring about the Apocalypse."

The surge of anger I expected doesn't happen. Instead, Zedekiel's wings slump behind his back.

"I know we all screwed up with Uriel. I know I acted like a coward when he threatened me. He was stronger than me, and this is going to sound silly... but I just didn't want to die. I never thought... that you of all people would be foolish enough to... to..." He chokes and brushes his hair back with a shaking hand, eyes on the ground. "Every soldier in the Garrison has always been so invested in the Mission..." he says in a lower voice. "And me, from the very first centuries I was bored, I neglected my duties whenever I had the opportunity. I envied and admired you all for obeying unwaveringly, you especially. You were the soldier I longed to become, the most dedicated Angel I knew. You never doubted so I made you the backbone of my Faith, the living proof that our mission is righteous. If, after Siosp, Camael, Anna and Uriel, now you break too, then there is nothing left to believe in, nothing left to hope for, everything is fucked!"

Out of the corner of my eye, I can see Rzionr Nrzfm struggling to pull himself out of the machine's steel structure in which he is stuck. His face is flushed with humiliation, making the freckles fade from his chubby cheeks.

"You should be executed with him, Zedekiel!" he hisses, snapping his dislocated shoulder back into place.

He snaps his wings open and with a furious beat he throws himself at Zedekiel's throat - both roll to the ground in the dust while the other soldiers stare in bewilderment.

"Why did they send me to this division filled with losers infected with free will and emotions!" he rages, violently punching him in the face. "I don't belong here, I'm a good soldier!"

I squint and my coat flaps in the blast of energy Zedekiel just released, knocking to the ground his angry opponent along with about twenty Angels. I don't even need to manipulate their weaknesses and resentments, they're doing it themselves. No wonder - when the Garrison was deprived of a General to lead us after Anna's fall, it was chaos among us and we were unable to properly fulfill our mission.

Without guidance, Angels are lost.

I have to act now. Some of the soldiers are staring at me indecisively, while others are taking sides with Zedekiel or Rzionr Nrzfm.

"Brothers!" Baradiel is trying to get them to stop fighting. "Remember our orders! We are supposed to seize Castiel, now is not the time to be squabbling!"

When three Angels stride up and reach for me, I swiftly crouch down to pick up the book and charge for Baradiel, gathering all my energy in my hand. Too busy keeping Zedekiel and Rzionr Nrzfm apart, he hardly has time to widen his eyes before I thrust my palm against his rib cage.

I feel bones crack under my palm and his heart rupture just before the blast of power hurls him backwards. He knocks over six soldiers in the process and then manages to claw at the ground to stop, curling up and spitting blood on the dusty concrete. The same blow had barely made Uriel bat an eyelid - but Uriel was the most powerful Angel I ever met.

With a flap of wings, I deflect Mgam and Habioro's combined attack and fly onto the pile of wooden pallets. I quickly rip out the building's structure with a hasty hand motion. The steel pillars burst through the ceiling and collapse on the army, blinding them with dust and cement, wounding a few dozen of them.

"Castiel, stop this nonsense!" Zedekiel's voice rises up to my side with a ruffling of feathers. "Please stop!" My brother grabs my shoulder and stares at me pleadingly with his bloodied face. His slit lip curls up to bare his blood-stained teeth. "At least die with dignity through repentance, spare us the humiliation, do it for the Garrison! Prove that they were wrong when they said we're infected with free will! Your rebellion will be seen as proof that everyone who looked down on us since our creation was right... Please, Cas..."

He uttered these words while grabbing my tie. He pushes me until my back hits the pipes and the thick plastic sheet that conceals the brick wall. The very wall where the banishment seal is ready to be triggered.

Staring at him in the eyes, I merely pinch my lips together and sweep away the things cluttering up the wall with a swish of my wings. As if in slow motion, Zedekiel's eyes open wide as the plastic sheet is ripped down and the steel pipes tumble to the ground with a metallic clatter. I slam my hand on the seal which instantly radiates energy behind me. The bright flash of light washes over Zedekiel's face as he throws his head back and lets go of my tie, his body stiffening and his wings spread wide. In a split second, his silhouette flickers and vanishes. I look down and watch the hundred other Angels screaming silently, no sound coming out of their throats, before they all disappear in a burst of light that blows away everything around.

My clothes that were billowing in the wind silently fall back down. The only sound in the place is my ragged breathing as I jump down to the ground, my energy drained. I loosen my tie so it stops squeezing my neck and I rest the book on a wooden pallet.

I had not planned for the Garrison to notice I was gone, understand my intentions and locate me so quickly. I thought I had at least one hour to work on my seal to free Sam and Dean from Fate and Heaven. How did Zachariah find out? Did he spy on me on the Axis Mundi? I was so sure I had successfully fooled the celestial patrols and slipped into Dean's dream without anyone noticing!

But this isn't my most pressing concern. They were only a hundred soldiers from my Garrison... About half of them. Where are the others?

Time is running out. I can't afford to underestimate the hierarchy's strategic skills. This first group of Angels could have been a trick to deactivate my seals and weaken me to catch me afterwards. That's exactly what I would have done had I been commanding the Garrison in a similar situation.

Panic makes my Grace simmer and I hurriedly bring my wrist to my mouth, biting into the veins and slicing them open. Warm blood fills my mouth with a taste of copper as I crouch between two collapsed metal pillars and wipe the cement and dust from the ground. My heart thumps in my chest as I hastily draw a new banishment seal, my blood-stained fingers running over the concrete and this time I don't bother with the flow and details of the pattern.

"It's over, Castiel."

Along with that soft voice comes a silky ruffle of feathers, making me stiffen. I turn my head just enough to catch a glimpse of Hester standing right behind me, her face locked into a blank expression.

"Hester..." I say in a raspy murmur. "So you wish me dead too?"

Not taking my eyes off her, I try to discreetly complete the outline circle and trace the sigils around it. My sister presses her lips together and glares down at me, hurt flashing through her eyes.

"You should know me well enough by now to see that all I want is for you to be safe and successful. And what you're doing here will lead to your downfall. You're sick, Castiel... very, very sick."

"I'm doing what is righteous," I hiss. "What we all should have done a long time ago. Open your eyes, Hester! The hierarchy is corrupt and uses us to trigger an Apocalypse that will end Humanity and ruin the Earth!"

"Oh, I know what you're actually doing, trust me. I won't let you throw your life away for a pathetic Human. And I would let the entire Creation burn to ashes as long as you are safe."

Her heels click on the ground with each step she takes, circling me like an eagle about to strike down its prey. She holds a fierce glare on me, her pale blond hair waving over her shoulders.

"If you won't join me, you are my enemy," I said, holding my bloodstained hand over my banishment seal. "Think it through."

She comes to a halt near the stacked wooden pallets, her fingers running over the book's leather binding that lies there, then turns to me, a wan smile on her lips.

"I don't need to. You already lost, Castiel. You lost the very second you stole this book."

Another wing flap echoes and then suddenly someone grabs my wrists and yanks them behind my back, forcing me up on my feet and stopping me from triggering the seal.

"I'm disappointed in you, Castiel," another woman's voice harshly hisses into my ear. "All your fancy lectures about our betrayal... See? You're no better than us."

"Rachel."

I wince when she tightens her grip on my wrists hard enough to bruise the flesh and fracture the bones.

Hester walks forward stiffly, clutching the book to her chest and staring intently at me.

"For a while now I could see you were letting emotions cloud your judgment, and for a stupid human maggot too. Why did you have to pick Dean Winchester over one of us? I refused to believe it but I should have reported you at my first suspicion, and for that I am sorry. Thankfully, we stopped you in time. You would definitely have been executed had you performed this seal like Camael did. We stopped your rebellion, which means you will stay alive."

"They will only send you to rehabilitation," Rachel adds right into my ear.

"You'll come back purified and cleansed of this stain. You'll be saved, Castiel."

I grit my teeth as their words echo my own past self's. I said the exact same thing to Camael back then, when I couldn't understand him. I never thought I would be in the same position one day.

The banishing seal is complete at my feet but Rachel holds my hands way too tightly behind my back. Suddenly an idea hits me, and I inhale sharply, staring first at Hester, before turning my head to meet Rachel's smug gaze as she breathes against my neck.

"I don't need saving. For the first time in my life, I know without doubt that I am on the right path."

Before they can react or figure out what I'm about to do, I use my left foot to hastily remove my right shoe and sock, and then I slam my bare foot directly onto the banishing seal.

My wrists are instantly released and I squint into the blinding light - in a blast of pure energy, Hester and Rachel have been hurled out of here. The book hovers in the air for a second where Hester had been holding it, before falling to the ground with a loud thud that echoes through the vast space.

I hardly had time to heal my vessel and put back my sock and shoe before I hear the sound of flapping wings and see the second half of the Garrison appearing. They're all surrounding me, staring at me. Eboza, Izraz and Htmorda are perched on a broken metallic structure.

They all make their blade slide into their hand with a sinister tinkling, except for Balthazar who keeps his hands in his pockets, looking around with a whistle of wonder.

"My my, Cassy, so much drama!"

"Stay out of this, Balthazar..." I hiss through my teeth.

He lifts his eyebrows high on his forehead and gives me a pitying smile.

"Come on, you fought well, and with flair, I will give you that... but it's time to stop being such a drama queen. You have to know by now that you won't get a chance to repeat Camael's move. As for rehabilitation, well, you wouldn't be the first nor the last, no one has ever died from it, hm?"

I clench my fists as I gauge the situation. Objectively, I know I've lost. I can't win against one hundred Angels and they won't let me make another seal. And still, a surge of irrational hope burns through my Grace. I cannot lose. Not when Dean and Sam's lives are at stake. Not when I'm so close.

"How did Zachariah know what I was going to do?" I say, squaring my shoulders. "I didn't even know it myself until an hour ago."

Zachariah himself replies instead of Balthazar. His voice rises in the reverent silence of the soldiers who are unaccustomed to standing before such a high-ranking Angel.

"Because it was a test, you idiot. And let me tell you, I'm very disappointed, Castiel. I expected so, so much better from you."

The soldiers step aside to let Zachariah through. He walks to me, straightening his grey tie with an irritated look. He stares at me coldly, coming to a halt about ten feet away from me.

"To be completely honest, I suspected that you would fail, I'm not a fool. I thought I'd deal with your doubts and feelings issues myself and not let the Council get involved. You are my ward, I made you become the Garrison's commander and I have to account for every stupid shit you pull to the hierarchy."

"It was a test?" I say, choking with anger.

He nods and nudges the book left on the floor with the tip of his foot, wrinkling his nose as if it were something filthy.

"And you spectacularly failed. Did you really believe that after the Camael incident, the Council wouldn't have made arrangements to ensure that something like this wouldn't happen again? The Sisters of Fate have secured all the library's books with seals reporting their exact location whenever they're removed from their shelves. All we had to do was to follow you here."

With a snap of fingers, he sets the book on fire until all that remains is a pile of ashes. Then he looks up at me with a smug grin.

"You're lucky I'm the one handling your case. Most Council members would have been eager to have you executed for that misstep. But I know from personal experience that even the very best can lose their way. After your rehabilitation, you will be just like me, utterly devoted to the cause. You and I together will make great things happen in our careers. I have high hopes for you, kid."

Narrowing my eyes, I let my Grace solidify to shape my blade. The sharp end pierces through my forearm skin and it slips into my hand as I snap my wings open threateningly.

"I would rather die than serve Fate's cruel schemes again."

Zachariah lets out a high-pitched chuckle.

"Ah! That's exactly what I told them before I was sent to rehabilitation too. You'll be singing a whole different tune when you come back from this, I guarantee." He turns around and snaps his fingers in a commanding manner. "Seize the rebel and restrain him! And whatever you do, don't kill him!"

I tense up and spin my blade to get a better grip on it. I don't want to kill my brothers and sisters. I won't. There have been too many deaths already and I refuse to take their lives, to be a murderer as well as a traitor. These Angels I have known for decades, thousands or even millions years, all are walking forward despite their fear and the last remnants of the respect they had for me.

The circle slowly narrows in on me - and suddenly it's chaos. The soldiers throw themselves at me but I break free by spinning around with my blade slashing at their arms, careful not to cause any deadly wounds.

Eleven of the injured Angels retreat, hissing in pain as they press their hands to the wounds radiating with their shining Grace. But no matter how hard I fight back, I am outnumbered and my energy is draining out at an alarming rate. I barely manage to hold on for a few minutes, during which all the machinery is wrecked and the building's structure torn apart. In the end, Balthazar manages to grab me and Htmorda wrests my blade away from me, then presses the sharp end of it to my neck to keep me under control. I stand still, gasping for breath and coughing blood, and I look up at Zachariah who slowly walks over to me, dusting off his sleeve.

"I warned you about this, Cassy..." Balthazar whispers to my ear. "That's what you get for picking a side. You'll listen to my wise words next time, but right now you need to stand down. Everything will be alright, don't be scared."

Balthazar shuts up when Zachariah steps in front of me and takes my blade from Htmorda's hand before drawing his own out.

"I take it from here, please step aside."

Balthazar lets go of me and everyone steps back as Zachariah stares at me with a patronizing smirk, a blade in each hand. Then, all of a sudden, he shoots a blast of energy that knocks me backwards - had my Grace not been so drained, I would have taken it quite easily. I wince and choke under the force of the collision that snaps my spine in half, and when I crack my eyes open again, Zachariah is towering over me, holding me down on a wooden pallet with his knee on my chest.

"Come on, Castiel..." he leans over me, smiling contentedly. "There's no reason to be afraid... Just look at how much the rehabilitation improved me and the high position I reached in the hierarchy! You'll thank me someday."

I open my eyes wide when he wields his two blades and strikes down next to my shoulders. And this time I can't hold back the scream that bursts out of my throat as a searing pain rips through my ethereal wings, nailing them with the kind of excruciating pain I haven't felt in thousands of years.

"Everyone fears rehabilitation, but I see it as a new beginning. A rebirth. A blessing."

My vision blurs and turns red - Zachariah's knee crushes my ribs with a sickening crack, piercing my lungs and stopping my heart beat.

"You will become the perfect soldier I've always seen in you." He smiles and presses his cold hand against my neck. "But first, let's get you out of this smelly lump of flesh, you won't need it where I'm sending you."

My broken body stiffens and I can feel my wounded wings melting and receding into my back as I stare at his mouth uttering an Enochian spell. My hearing is fading off, smothering the harsh sounds until all I can see is his lips moving in silence. I whisper a supplication when I realize just what's going on, but I can't even hear my own voice. Everything goes dark, washing away Zachariah's thin lips and all of the Angels' shadows surrounding us.

There is an overwhelming power that hooks my Grace and starts extracting it from this vessel. This broken, bloodied vessel that won't possibly survive without me. In a last desperate effort, I heal Jimmy Novak just before I'm wrenched out of his body and off Earth.

oOo

In the next chapter

"Claire Novak is praying."

"My gift is praying to you?"