Brave Enough – Lindsey Stirling/Christina Perri
There's some things I should have said
I was too afraid
It was just so hard to let you know
And now it's just too late
What we had was beautiful
I didn't want to wreck it all
Everyday I think about the truth
I wish I was, I wish I was
Brave enough to love you
Brave enough to love you
I wish I was, I wish I was
Brave enough to love you
Brave enough, brave enough
Brave enough to love you
Stripped away the walls I built
Like no one ever has
The hardest part is we'll never know
If we were meant to last
What we had was beautiful
I didn't want to wreck it all
Everyday I think about the truth
I wish I was, I wish I was
Brave enough to love you
Brave enough to love you
I wish I was, I wish I was
Brave enough to love you
Brave enough, brave enough
Brave enough to love you
Brave enough to love you
Brave enough to love you
I wish I was, I wish I was
Brave enough, Brave enough
Brave enough to love you
So here she was again on the edge of the dancefloor. She felt terrible about outing Marina, but she couldn't allow Colin to be used. She didn't feel better about it, but she tried to warn them both. When she saw Colin walk in, she felt even worse. Then he spotted her, and she just wanted to fade into the background.
"Enjoying your evening?" Probably not any more than he was. Seeing as it was his sister's ball, he probably had to be there rather than wanted to be there. She noticed that Benedict also looked as though he was waiting for the earliest moment to escape.
"What?" Well, that was not the best way to respond. She hadn't thought he would want to speak to her though. Not that he could know she was Lady Whistledown but rather based on an earlier conversation when he was so certain that Marina had felt the same as him.
"Are you enjoying your evening?" Obviously, he was only there out of familiar duty.
"Ah..Y..yes. I just came from the dance floor." There was no need for him to feel as though he needed to rescue her from being ignored.
"I did not see you." Well, he had only just arrived. Nobody really saw her anyway. He had been talking to Benedict so how much could he have seen?
"I was in the back of the dance floor. It was quite crowded, so …Colin-" She had to explain, although she had no idea on how to do that. But she had to at least try.
"Pen .. I owe you an apology." What did he owe her an apology for? "I did not see it at first, but I know you were only trying to prevent me from heartache with Miss Thompson, and … and I was a fool." This is what she had been trying to avoid.
"You were not a fool. You merely believed yourself in love." Although plenty of people around him had told him he was moving too fast. He had no idea though that Marina and her Mama were conspiring in the background. "One should never apologize for that. One finds oneself in such and incredible position, and well, one should declare it … assuredly, fervently, loudly." She didn't think she had ever said so much to him since she had first met him. "Colin, I wish to tell you something." She had nothing to lose.
"I have something I wish to tell you as well, Pen." Or she could wait a little longer. "I'm leaving. First thing tomorrow morning. I begin my tour. I'm to start in the Mediterranean. It was actually you who inspired me. You kept reminding me how much I longed for travel." Yes, but that was to stop him from marrying Marina. Not to drive him out of town. "Oh umm… What was it you wished to say?"
Clearly, she had already said too much. "I don't remember." Apparently, she did still have something to lose.
"Shall we dance?" Hell no. She was barely hanging on by a thread as it was. Once she stepped into his arms, she would become a blubbering mess. It would be best if she were by herself when that happened. Less witnesses to her breaking heart.
"No." He seemed surprised she was turning him down. "Um… I am all danced for the night, Colin." She had to get out of there. This was turning into the worse night of her life and the night wasn't over yet. The highlight of people not noticing her was that she could disappear outside and sob to her hearts content. Not even the servants would notice.
By the time the rest of her family were ready to head home, she had managed to compose herself. Her sisters and mother didn't notice she wasn't taking part in the conversation on the way home and life moved on.