Take Me Back to Eden

by OhhTaylorJade

"Above all, don't lie to yourself. The man who lies to himself and listens to his own lie comes to a point that he cannot distinguish the truth within him, or around him, and so loses all respect for himself and for others. And having no respect he ceases to love." - Fyodor Dostoevsky, The Brothers Karamazov.

12. Chapter 11: Never Too Late

Chapter Eleven: Never Too Late

"No one will ever see this side reflected
And if there's something wrong, who would have guessed it?
And I have left alone everything that I own
To make you feel like it's not too late, it's never too late"

---

'Silly Selini,

You're right that the paper isn't always truthful, and as you've pointed out, I should know. If you've somehow found it in you to pick up Snivellus by his collar and carry him around, then by all means; carry him away! Merlin knows he never deserved your time in the first place, but who am I to stop you? Besides, I know you'll remember where your true loyalties lie.

Love, despite your gullibility,

Snuffles'

I narrowed my eyes at Sirius's cruel and outdated nickname for Severus. The flare of annoyance from the first time I read it found its way back to stir into my mood. His words about loyalty were laughable; as if I hadn't fought with him for years about knowing who I can trust won't always make sense to others, and that I knew what I was doing. I shook my head, disgusted with his sarcasm and that ridiculously horrible nickname for myself as well. He was acting like a child over a stupid column by a stupid woman!

'Just where does he get off acting like a jealous boyfriend all over again?' Sighing I threw that older letter down and glared at the new one. If it was another berating letter, I'd have to find the man myself and settle this once and for all. I snatched up the newest letter and unfolded it to see what other foul things Sirius Black had to say.

'Selini,

I can see that my last message affected you enough that I haven't heard from you in too long. I'm sorry, genuinely I am. I hated the idea of losing you to—'

The next words were scratched out, clearly regretting his first choice of more truthful words.

'—to someone that is known to affiliate themselves around Death Eaters. I don't know what you know but trust me my concerns aren't pointless. You need to be more concerned with who you let into your circle. I'm just looking out for your best interest, believe me! I couldn't live with myself knowing I could've prevented something if anything were to happen to you. I write this as tenderly as possible but get off your high horse and pay attention!

Love, genuinely,

Snuffles

P.S. If it motivates you more, I won't say I told you so. You and Moony can count yourselves lucky I've matured enough to do that.'

Gobsmacked at his words I re-read it once more trying to decipher what his sentiments exactly meant. This was the overbearing; protective Sirius I knew that lashed out of jealousy because he cared so much. I remembered when he'd act like this when we were together–no wonder he was quick to respond and think so irrationally at a news column he otherwise wouldn't care for. Regardless of his attempts at humor, I found his words to feel like a cord tightening around my neck, trying to swallow away the culpability that I felt rising. I tried to make sense of the guilt that flooded my chest. I thought the flirtations, the conversations, and the reminiscent speech were all the excitement of being able to hear from each other. Maybe I had gotten carried away, but it never occurred to me that this could lead him to have a different idea.

It was always apparent he still carried feelings for me. A flash of a memory where young Sirius was telling me how he was confused, to just listen to him and how we could work anything out came over me. I shook my head to dismiss it before I felt any more nauseous. Even after everything had settled, I knew it still hurt to see me around Lily and James when he was there visiting; his snide remarks now and again to get me riled up were telling of his bitterness and heartache. We had just become civil enough after Harry was born that he wouldn't push my buttons, and I'd be able to control my cheeky tone. I thought we had found our friendship once more, but I didn't think for the sake of Merlin himself he still carried on with real feelings for me. I couldn't stomach the thought of breaking his heart once more.

'And why does everyone think I need protection all of a sudden? Did everyone forget I can move things with my mind?' I thought to myself, rolling my eyes and dropping his second letter with the other one. It was like the man was crafted perfectly to cause chaos in my life.

I lowered myself to sit at my desk before finally reaching and picking up the quill. So much had changed in the period where I neglected his letter that I wasn't sure how to respond but tried my best to answer him without my usual sassy flirtation. At least now I might be able to showcase that there wasn't anything worth riling himself up for, and hopefully plant the seeds to allow him to move on.

'Snuffles,

Yes, that letter was completely unnecessary, and I can appreciate you apologizing, but I need you to learn how to trust me. I'm capable of figuring things out, and more than capable of taking down anything in my way. In any case, your concern and genuine care are noted and annoyingly appreciated. From the way I hear it YOU need to be more concerned with being careful! Don't you dare drag that boy into another meet-up again, or so help me you'll get to see firsthand how well I can take care of myself! Don't be filling my child, or Godson, with any more stories of the days that passed. Both of them and their friends are too nosy for their own good.

I will do better to write to you more often, S. I am sorry it took so long to get back to you. Please try and take care of yourself; I'm working on something that might ease the tension of your lack of living space. If you need anything just say the word.

Love,

Selini.

P.S. Moony and I would be more impressed if you didn't jump headfirst into something dangerous if you're looking to kiss up to us.'

Though it had been years since the last time I heard from Remus Lupin, I did not doubt in my mind that he would stand firmly on the same thought. I remembered the last time I spoke to Remus was about five years ago, finding him working for a pub about twenty miles outside of London. All three of us girls were passing through before making our way to Koldovstoretz school and took a little pit stop to visit my Uncle Jethro, from my father's side. Thanks to him I believe my tenacity came from that side of my family. When Aurora volunteered to sit in with Elowyn, incredibly exhausted herself, Uncle Jethro took me to his favorite, and rather sketchy, local pub where I had recognized a face to stand out around the rest. It did so because he still carried a softness to his eyes that most of the other occupants lacked.

I smiled at remembering his excitement; Remus had always been a kind soul and ever-present for his friends whenever need be. I felt fortunate enough that he considered me trustworthy to handle his secret. In the years following since I'd last seen him, he had a few more scars than I remember, still pale and looking beaten by life events. There was plenty we didn't speak about that night, and at the time I was glad we didn't.

After that night he was invited back the next day to have dinner with us, and I remembered how grateful I had been for a new moon to allow the occasion. Aurora was more smitten with him than I would've pegged her to be, but I chalked it up to mere kinship. Elowyn wasn't sure what to think of him at first and did her best not to stare at the scars on his face, but once he was able to charm her with his knowledge about various magical subjects, and chocolate she seemed more taken with him. She was so taken with him she opted to call him "Uncle Remus" regardless of his protests. It was rather amusing, and I wasn't going to be the one to stop her, neither was Aurora who encouraged him to see it as a compliment. Remus needed to know there were people out there who still cared about him.

'Maybe my next letter ought to be to him.' I thought to myself.

I folded the letter and put it in the pocket of my crimson teaching robe and mentally noted to find Harry and give this to him inconspicuously. Today was just a bit cooler than the following few days, and with the nearly sleepless night, I just wanted to stay in and be comfortable. The compromise was to dress warmly. Walking out of my chambers I waved the locking enchantment and set forth with my day, heading to meet with Aurora at the stairs near the entrance of the Great Hall.

I had spent the night going over in my mind everything that happened yesterday. Repeating the words Harry had spoken to me, and how Severus acted left me too wired to relax into much-needed sleep.

After spending so long recounting the dramatics of the situation, I had to allow myself the logistics of the information to ground me into a welcomed slumber.

The book of Severus Snape had a past where the ink had splashed throughout its pages. He was not a perfect man and made egregious mistakes but did whatever he needed to to survive. The way he pushed me, argued with me only to cut me down was all in the name of safeguarding my life. Regardless of his desires, he showed me a side of him that didn't echo a treacherous man. To everyone around him he allowed himself to drown in the ink, so his reputation was nothing but that; smeared in the dark arts and mystery while keeping everyone at arm's length from him and choosing to work in the background to compensate. He spied on one of the most disturbingly powerful wizards our world has known and lied right to his face about his alliances.

He never did allow others to see the best in him, and that ended up extended to people like me in his life.

Even though this logic had helped immensely in my defense of him, I still needed confirmation that my theories and justifications held some footing from the man who consumed my thoughts. I needed to hear his side, with his words and the timbre of his recognizable voice, to allow my relief to fully settle.

I had passed several students through the corridor, two being the Montgomery sisters with two other Ravenclaws. I found it a little strange that they were this far up the castle but disregarded it when the bright blonde, eldest sister nodded her head to me, and the younger, dark-haired sister gave a small wave. I nodded giving a small smile and wave before noticing that Aurora trailed behind them. The russet-colored robe flared and looked more like a dress than anything, her appearance also suggested she was feeling the cooler weather today, too. Aurora smiled brightly at me when she recognized it was her friend walking toward her.

"Hey, I found you!" She said while coming to stand by my side. She nodded and waved to another Ravenclaw that passed by before turning back to me.

"I figured you'd be there by now." I pointed out while trying to wrack through my brain if I had misremembered something about meeting anywhere else.

"Well, I decided we should walk and talk." She stated while linking our arms together and placing a firm hold on my arm and started to walk forward. She seemed determined to get me alone, that was obvious, but even with her insistence to speak early in the morning, I felt something must've been heavy on her mind. This gesture told me she wasn't letting me go anywhere without that specific talk happening.

'As if I don't know what she would be wondering about.' I thought to myself. It hit me that this might've been her motive considering there shouldn't be anything else bothering her, or I at least hoped there wasn't. Maybe it was how I hadn't returned her hoop earrings once again, but I doubt that weighed with the same consequence.

I glanced at her from the side, looking down to watch my step and keep up with her. Nodding slowly, I responded. "If this is a serious talk then maybe we should have this somewhere private?" I didn't want to take the chance of any nosy little child overhearing what was possibly going to be a lively discussion.

Aurora nodded and hummed with agreeance. "Which is why we're heading to this specific corridor, right about now, because everyone should be headed down to the Great Hall." She reasoned while pulling me to the left, whereas if we had turned right, it would've taken us to the hallway that would've led down toward the Great Hall. She threw a tight Cheshire cat smile at me that was deceptive of her friendliness, her eyes narrowing at me in a flash that sent the message: "You've got some explaining to do". I winced and looked down once more as I realized she wasn't going to let this go as easily as I hoped.

"Perhaps use discretion if you're so adamant." I offered while turning to face her. She gave me a deadpan stare before scoffing.

"Oh, I'm so adamant alright. I'm adamant that I think you and… and the P.M. are up to something." Her voice lowered as another pair of students passed us, seeming to be running late as they quickly made their way through the hallways, paying no mind to the professor's speaking in hushed tones. It wasn't hard to figure out her approach to hiding Severus's identity, but I gave her some credit for obliging the privacy. She had guided me to the end of the corridor next to a good number of moving portraits that kept looking at us, or even gesturing to their fellow painted friends. She finally let me go and turned fully to me, arms folded and eyes fully of concern, but it was unnaturally hardened in her stare. I'd only seen her give Elowyn these looks anytime she told her about a detention. "What were you two doing together?"

I scoffed at her and shrugged to avoid those honey-brown eyes that felt like spotlights in her confrontation. "We were just… talking?" My feeble attempt at casualty sounded as weak as the ability to not look her in her eyes at the moment.

"Talking? You've known me for over a decade and think I'll accept 'talking' as a good enough reason? There was something clearly more going on, what with your strange behavior and the mess you somehow ignored!" Her version of a lower voice was starting to rise the more she spoke, heated from my horrible attempt to sway her. She raised an eyebrow and gave such a skeptical look I could feel the heat rising from the light embarrassment. Sighing I looked up at her, pursing my lips as I tried to figure out a way to tell her this.

There was no reason to keep this secret from her, but I didn't want to have to hear about her scrutinizing what I and Severus did in private. I could make whatever decisions I wanted without someone telling me if something was ill-advised, or not!

"We've… made up."

"Well, I can see that, Maeve." She rolled her eyes and shook her head. "Yeah, you've been able to talk out and about around the school, but you two didn't look like just two people 'talking'. You both looked like you were hiding something, although he looked less guilty than you did!" She hissed while snickering humorlessly before looking back to me. "Look, I wouldn't be like this if I didn't just see you go through the kind of breakdown you had for the last couple of months." Her look softened slightly. It was strange to see her more serious and determined than she normally would've been. "It was the least he could do for you, you know. Glad he came to his senses." She looked away as she spoke the last part, almost triumphantly. It was strange and before I could say anything more, she looked back up, the lingering triumph still present on her face. "I'm glad you all made up, but… He's not like, being rude or shitty to you, is he?"

Taken back by her words I flinched and squinted at her in confusion. "What? No!" Forgetting for a moment to keep my voice down I looked around trying to search for any eavesdropping ears but only noticed the figures in the painting look away once eye contact was made with a few before turning back to her, more composed. "I mean, not more than he usually is." I corrected while shaking my head. "We're doing well, actually…. Really well… So well, that we've been… sort of… sneaking off together." The more I spoke the more I lowered my voice till it was a whisper, losing the confidence in my voice.

Aurora's eyes widened before her face dropped along with her jaw. She put a hand over her mouth and blinked at me several times before raising her eyebrows. "Sneaking off?!"

I quickly shushed her while grabbing her shoulders. "Remember, this is private!" I breathed heavily to try and remind her of the voice level this talk needed.

"Sorry, sorry! Just… do you mean… like I need to be brewing a contraceptive potion? You know I'm excellent at–"

"Aurora Dawn, no!" I growled at her through gritted teeth, although that did little to deter the snickering that came from her as she did her best to hide her mischievous laughter from her under her hand. "Although it was looking like something more than kissing was about to happen, until you tried to get into the office." I threw at her an inculpate look. I had a feeling that my rising irritation wasn't just from her interrogation but from my growing hunger that had yet to be satiated, and I was not talking about the breakfast I was currently missing.

"That's why he looked so funny whenever I came in!" She giggled while trying to hide her laughter harder by putting both hands over her mouth. I had to admit I could only imagine what it looked like, doing his best to reserve himself after just being aroused the way he did. Our red faces steadied our breathing and trying to act like everything was proper and in place when it wasn't. I couldn't help but chuckle at her reaction.

After Aurora calmed down we let the lone Gryffindor pass us, a teen who was very, very late for breakfast by now, before she spoke up again. "So is it… serious? I mean, you have been doing better, but I swear Maeve if anything happens to you again… I'll do—something!" Despite her attempts at a witty threat, it failed her. It was adorable, but at least her worries weren't overbearing.

I nodded and gave her a soft smile. " It's… to be determined. I'd assume it's something, but nothing official… I'm not actually sure what we are." I shrugged and did my best to hide the little bit of dramatic insecurity. I didn't need her prying into something that was already a delicate subject.

Aurora nodded tentatively before a mischievous smile broke while putting her hands on her hips. "Wow, Miss Maeve! Finally getting some action in the ol' broom closet, eh?" She teased earning her a desperate hand over her mouth from me, trying her best to muffle her laughter.

"You're rotten, Aurora!" I scathed while snickering and leaning on her. She dropped her head to try and continue to cover her laughter, body shaking in its suppression. She snorted while looking up, her cheeks flushed as she sighed.

"I'm sorry, but you've got to admit that the place you needed to look for a man of your standards was lower than you imagined—like the dungeons of a school!" Aurora cackled and I could feel my patience thinning with her now. I know she was just picking fun, but a part of me wondered if this was more than just harmless joking. Aurora always pushed the wrong type of men in my direction and varied from pompous to pitiful.

"Don't be rude!" I folded my arms and gave her a stern look. "He's quite the gentlemen when he wants to be…" I huffed while folding my arms.

Aurora must've caught my irritation and straightened up, holding her hands up as she calmed her laughter. "No, no, I'm not being rude. It makes a ton of sense why, is what I'm saying."

I turned my head at her as she further explained. "I mean, you told me about growing up together, pining for each other—at least that's how it sounded for me—the night at the Black Lake, and then all of this tension between you two whenever you were around! If anything it's about time." She scoffed as if it were the most obvious thing that I was missing.

I blinked and raised my eyebrows, nodding to see her point. "Yes, well… now me and him are on the same page… whatever page that is, and I just need you to promise not to say anything; neither one of us seems too excited about the idea of others discussing this." The last part of my words was mumbled, impulsively picking at my pinky's cuticle.

I didn't notice how Aurora had dropped her amused expression and was studying my face and movements. She put a hand on my shoulder causing me to look back up at her.

"You know this is safe with me." She stated. "And I get that maybe it's too early, but is it so bad that you two are openly happy? Granted, the staffing situation is…" Aurora grimaced, shrugging and tittering her other hand back and forth. "... but Dumbledore did technically tell you to try and get close to him. You can't get any closer when he's stirring your cauldron." Aurora wiggled her eyebrows. I couldn't help the snort that came up, scrunching my face in feign annoyance.

What she didn't know was how this simple explanation had calmed my nerves in a way that I didn't know I needed. I had assumed it would only further complicate things, but I should've trusted myself that Aurora would be by my side through anything. This was no different.

I nodded slowly "That is true, I suppose—"

"There you two are!" We whipped our sights to the young Slytherin girl who briskly walked up to us, the small whisps of hair that should've been pulled back with her ponytail had come down and frizzed around her face. She looked to have been a bit out of breath, adjusting the headphones around her collar. "I've been looking everywhere for you, I'm lucky that Clara and Natalie spotted you all on their way to the Great Hall!' If this was her impression of acting as a stern professor I would've given her an award of some sort, but even then I found it a tad condescending.

"Well, good morning to you too, my Star." I greeted, giving her an incredulous look, and laid one arm over my chest while the other was raised, continuing to pick at the nail.

She shook her head and sighed while waving her hands, a strange mirroring of a mixture between me and Aurora that I would sometimes see in her. "Yes, it's a wonderful morning, but on to more pressing matters." She started before focusing intensely on me. "When were you going to tell me you dated a serial killer and befriended a Death Eater?"

My eyes could've popped out at any moment from her words, and the lack of handling her words better or tone would've caused me to reprimand her quickly if I wasn't too concerned about anyone hearing her scolding words. I looked around down the corridor as Aurora took to the other side of the hallway before we looked back to her, It was thankfully deserted, possibly noting that everyone made it to the Great Hall. I snapped my gaze back at her with lividity at her carelessness and brazen approach.

"Elowyn Asteria, are you out of your mind?!" I hissed at her, noting that Aurora had stepped up between the two of us. "What did he tell you? I'll have you know Harry has already brought up your little meeting and trust me child I owe you a stern lecture about that—" At this point, it was harder to control my temper with her. I hated the thought of being bombarded with all of these questions, and being cornered already by the two I cared about was not how I wanted to start my morning.

"What are you either of you talking about?" Her eyes flicked back and forth between the two of us before landing on me.

"Yes, yes, I'm sorry that I walked to a cave and spent the next hour speaking to a falsely accused man, just to hear about some very vital information and learn that you dated him!"

"Elowyn, I can't even tell what you're upset about!" I had enough and put my hands by my side, scowling at her and narrowing my eyes. She only did the same in response.

"Cave? Serial killer? Death Eater?" Aurora tried once again to get an understanding. I sighed in defeat, realizing this conversation was taking a much more urgent need to find a more private area, or else the whole school would get an earful. I told them to follow me back to my classroom to explain. It felt like I was on trial just to answer questions about the past, and now about Severus Snape once again.

'He better know how much I have his back for what I'm about to do.' The aggravating things I'd now have to do to cover his tracks and take up for him. Just like old times, I was there cleaning up messes that were almost more than I bargained for.

On top of that, I was about to answer nearly any question that they had about my ex-lover. What else could be thrown at me today?

)))(((

"Christ, Merlin, or Nimue! I don't even know which was to swear to, Maeve!" Elowyn exclaimed while walking around the room pacing and speaking her thoughts aloud. "So, Sirius Black, apparent and understandable enemy of Severus Snape, used to date you… and he was wrongfully prosecuted as a mass murder, which my friends already explained that part, but regardless there's no way to clear his name at the moment because of some Peter Petti-guy. You say that Severus Snape was actually a spy and not exactly a Death Eater, whatever that means. So, now what? Our hands are tied and Sirius is just living out on the street? Maeve, he needs proper care! Snape's a retired bad guy and only torments teenagers? Make it all make sense!-"

"I'm working on helping Sirius, Elowyn! I'm off to speak to Dumbledore at some point today to see if he has the time, and it does make sense if you'd just calm down." I corrected and moaned, feeling the headache return from yesterday. I took to rubbing my temples without looking at her. Whatever high she was on about all of this information was starting to make me lose my patience with her.

Aurora remained uncharacteristically silent as she took in all the information I relayed. Granted, I kept a lot of Severus out for multiple reasons, one in particular, was grilling me with questions at the moment. However, I found if I fed them both just a little bit, then maybe it would be easier to digest. While it was proving to work so far, I could only hope that this would make Elowyn back down, and Aurora wouldn't ask too much about the Death Eater connection.

"Well… it's not fair." She sputtered out and huffed while standing spread eagle with her hands on her hips staring at me with a softer expression but still lingering with her anger toward the injustice. "That sounds horrible that he was so easily convicted. I don't understand why they wouldn't use something like… well, like Veritaserum or something."

I nodded and held my hands out. "At the time the so-called evidence was damning… even I believed it, Elowyn." I regretfully admitted.

Her confused and fiery attitude lessened even more, her tough stance had shifted to a more humbled slouch as she gave a thoughtful look to the ground.

"I wonder," Aurora's warm voice broke through the silence of the room catching both of our attention. I watched as she fiddled with the jewel of her single loc, a thoughtful habit of hers when she was concentrating. "Why would Igor Karkaroff be speaking to Severus about Death Eater things? If he was found out to be a spy, then why even try to bring anything up to him at all?"

"Sirius said that once a Death Eater, always a Death Eater," Elowyn quoting the exact same thing Harry had said last night, making me swear to the Gods I would fight Sirius on sight for his less than helpful contribution. "So maybe he was trying to recruit Professor Snape again?"

"No," I said with finality. Both turned their gaze to me. "Severus has, as you've put it Elowyn, retired from that life. Dumbledore personally assured me he was cleared, and I wouldn't back down from that being the overall answer we should understand from this." I got up and stood in front of Elowyn, watching as her suspicious eyes scanned me. "Sirius hasn't been in this outside world for long, Elowyn. There's a personal grudge there, even! Please, I'm telling you this as someone who knows Severus personally–"

"Then you ought to be careful, Maeve!" Elowyn shrieked, her eyes widening and brows raising as she did so.

'Why does everyone think I'm some naive child?!' I mentally scolded before my shoulders slacked, pursing my lips to try and wrangle in some of the frustration so the teenager wouldn't bear the brunt of it. "I am careful. Severus can be trusted, and besides he acted as if he wanted nothing to do with Igor Karkaroff whenever that man tried to speak to him. Now, I've personally had enough of this conversation–"

"But Maeve–"

"But, nothing, Elowyn!" I cut her off, watching as her mouth slammed shut at my abrupt outburst. "I'm putting a lot of trust in you to not say anything to anyone—yes! Especially your friends, Elowyn! I don't want this all getting passed around. You got all the answers you wanted, so now let it rest."

I had come up to put my hands on her shoulders just as I had done with Harry, startling her how I approached. It was a sincere plead for her to understand me, for her not to try and dig further.

She pursed her lips and pulled them to the left, blinking as the wheels in her head were turning for a moment to calculate the chances of her pressing forward. Her face dropped with her conclusion, and I felt that I had won this round as she nodded. "I'll trust you, then."

Granted it seemed almost too easy for her to back down, and for a moment I wasn't convinced. I kept my eyes on her expression that didn't falter once, nor did it betray any inkling that she was pretending behind her words, and with that I sighed with relief.

"Elowyn," Aurora pushed off the desk she had been leaning on, licking her lips and putting on a soft smile. "Breakfast is surely over now, and classes are about to start. What do you have for the first period today?"

"Transfiguration." She simply answered as I let my arms drop, looking to her other guardian. Aurora urged her to make a head start, and the girl did not object. Gathering her school bags she took one last look at us before leaving through the opened doorway, closing it behind her. It must've been a frustrating idea for her to keep this from her friends, but I had to think she was trustful enough to us that she wouldn't further agitate the situation.

Once Elowyn left Aurora turned to me, a more serious look that was reminiscent of what was about an hour ago. "I need you to level with me, and not conceal anything now that she's gone."

I didn't have the urge to object to her. This was the type of woman Severus was speaking about, and even though he couldn't prove it his speculation was correct. She was insightful, and way smarter than she'd let on. Very rarely have I seen her so serious that showed the maturity of her age. I nodded and waited for her to speak.

"You swear that Severus Snape is trustworthy, right?" She asked evenly with eye contact that I didn't care to break.

I nodded once more, though the ominous feeling in the back of my mind tried to find its way out. I just spent the last twenty minutes berating Elowyn when she had this doubt, and now I was having to push my doubt away as the silence drew on.

"Then, I need you to talk to him about what you've found out." She said, brows crinkling together with concern. "This does not look good for him, Maeve. If he's dealing with these… puritists, or terrorists, then you're putting yourself and everyone you know at risk." She nodded, the expression in her eyes almost felt condescending like I was being spoken to like a child. I didn't have time to react before she continued. "What's worse is if he's actually on the right side of current events, then he might even be in trouble… don't you think?"

Having my fears reverberated into my ears made me shrink back from her. "Of course I do!" but even my words did little to stir anything from her. No immediate apologies for questioning my thoughts, no ease of her stiffened stature, and immediate agreeance. Because of this, I realized that her priority wasn't on Severus, which is fair considering she didn't have the connection he and I did, but it was solely on our family. By extension, I didn't doubt she was also thinking about the three Gryffindors, and though she still seemed on the fence about his loyalties, her concern for Severus showed as well. It wasn't just my safety on the line, but it was also Severus's life that could be at stake. What if the Death Eaters were taking care of loose ends, and Severus was a number one priority?

From the history lesson I was gathering over the last few days, and what I remember from years ago, I doubted they'd be comfortable letting dogs lie where they were. Was it out of the realm that maybe Igor could be trying to warn him–

'No, that conversation didn't sound like a way to help him, more so like a warning that something else was happening.' I concluded to my thoughts, biting my lip and nodding. 'Death Eaters showing up at the Quidditch World Cup was a warning even then that things are escalating and it might even involve The Dark Lord after all.'

It was no coincidence that Harry's name was pulled from the Goblet of Fire, the Death Eaters appearances, and Severus's murky past. There was a much bigger picture that I was missing the fine details of, and with that I let the whole seriousness of the situation settle over me.

I swallowed the knives in my throat and cleared it too, unable to look at her. "I swear he's safe, Aurora…" I answered and allowed the words to comfort me within the moment. Regardless of the gloom that was now circulating between the two of us, I had to believe that Severus was an illumination within the vast darkness of uncertainty about the future. "But you're right. I'll talk to him, I promise. He needs to have at least an idea of what's being thrown around." I finally broke away from her gaze and looked down.

Aurora continued to burn her stare into me, and while I could feel the heat of her skepticism in her stare there was the underlying feeling that she was putting trust into me little, by little.

"Good… I guess you guys are going to need a little help in the communication department, huh?" She nudged my arm earning a glance and a small smirk to match her own.

Our moment seemed to be interrupted by the quick three-tap knocking on the door. I glanced at Aurora who shared the same curious look on her face. I beckoned the person to enter only for it to be a very confused Elowyn once again, an arm full of parchment that she was staring at in bewilderment all the while carrying what appeared to be a small letter between her fingers. She slowly looked up at the both of us, mouth widened with horror and her face had lost her once pouty red color. Her eyes were wide, and her eyebrows were pushed up making small lines on her forehead. She looked as if she had walked through The Bloody Baron himself.

"Little missy, what's wrong? Aren't you supposed to be headed to class? And what do you have in your hands?" Aurora questioned while turning fully to her with folded arms.

Elowyn blinked before taking a deep breath. "Well, I think Professor Snape was walking up here," she started while looking between the two of us. "But when he spotted me, he stopped me and told me to deliver this to you–" She held up the letter and waved it lightly at me, blinking a few more times. "-and I guess he was also looking for me because he gave me extra assignments to do, then said my detentions were canceled." She squeaked out her disbelief at the actions of the Potions Master's sudden change of heart.

I had to admit I was rather taken aback by his actions; I hadn't known Severus to be one to forgive a detention, let alone allow a student back into his good graces without some reason, so what was the reason? I blinked before side-eyeing Aurora who did the same before looking to Elowyn. I chuckled and shook my head while walking up to take the letter out of her hand. "What a peculiar man he is. Well, you got what you wanted then. Did you thank him?"

"Thank him!?" She choked out and ripped her sights away from the parchments again and continued her astonished and petrified expression to me. "Thank him for being insane?!" The shock of her outburst didn't deter her from continuing her ranting. "He canceled my detention only to throw so much more work at me; that's his reformed punishment by taking what I love and turning it into a nightmare! He wants the rest of this done before the end of the year, so to 'prove my dedication and ambition like the Slytherin he expects me to be' or whatever–" Her impression of Severus had broken a smirk on my face that I did my best to hide with my hand. "-it's asinine to get all this potion work done before then! Some of these call for several weeks of work, and I've seen two already that require a month of brewing! Where in the Nine Hells am I going to get all of these cauldrons? Where am I going to set this all up?!" She exclaimed, and for the first time since arriving here, I had witnessed her displeasure with homework.

"If he expects you to get all this done, we'll simply take some of the extra cauldrons I'm sure he has lying about." I offered while putting an arm around her shoulders just as Aurora came up to inspect the work the Slytherin girl was fussing over, and rightly so.

"You weren't kidding; some of these took me a while to get the hang of." Aurora commented under her breath. Elowyn groaned and stamped her foot earning a wince from Aurora upon realizing her words did not help.

Aurora and I agreed to allow Elowyn to use our office as an extra area for her potion setup, alleviating a chunk of her worries. Aurora even offered to look after them, but not tamper with them so that Elowyn could fully take the credit. With an excused note to take back to Minerva, the teenager made her way out of the office for the second time, and I was once again left with my assistant. I would've waited for Aurora to leave before reading such an unexpected letter, but with her up to date on things I found no fault in it. Tearing open the letter I found it to be surprisingly short, and to the point.

'Selini,

I need to speak with you.

Meet me in my office after the dinner feast.

SS'

"He gets Selini privileges?" Aurora questioned but I didn't answer as I continued to reread his few words. I couldn't help that my insides were squirming and my stomach swirling with anxiety. What could be on his mind that he was sent a letter via Elowyn-Owl? Did this have anything to do with how our last meeting went, or was this another secret meeting? I doubt that he'd feel comfortable with handling a letter of that type of caliber to my adoptive daughter, so his scratched cursive words only meant something graver.

"I don't think it's bad," Aurora decided with confidence after possibly detecting my nervous silence. "I feel like if it was something terrible, he would've come to you first thing." She shook her head a little more aggressively than I cared for, almost suggesting she was trying to convince herself. Biting my lip I walked to put the letter in my dresser door, sealing it shut with a wave of my hand. The protection charm faded as it solidified around the draw.

"I'm not going to worry about it! I doubt that it's anything to fuss over anyway." I said with my version of forced assurance. We needed to get ready for our class anyway, and it made the perfect distraction from the dark storm cloud of anxiety looming over me.

)))(((

The day that was filled with practicing spells, and only one detention given out for misuse of the students' abilities, had dragged on with worries I told myself not to linger on. Doubt clouded my mind about how forthcoming he would be about the truth of the mysterious and private life of Severus Snape, and if this would only lead to a fight that I didn't want to deal with. The doubt had wrestled with the hope of being surprised by him and how he would be able to just explain my worries and concerns away. The optimism of the situation was the only thing that I could console myself with. I decided to skip lunch out of fretfulness that I knew wouldn't be ignored by the man, and I just needed time to think of how I was going to approach him. I decided that a visit to the kitchen would do nicely for my mental state, and enjoyed the company of the House Elves chatting pleasantries with them.

My last class period proved rather dull unless you counted the awkward glances from Hermione and Ron ever so often, but other than that there wasn't anything to mull over, except for the fact that dinner was rapidly approaching and I still wasn't sure what to make of the letter Severus sent, or how I'd even speak to him about the mountain of questions I had. I was however able to give Harry my letter response to Sirius in private and let that worry cast itself away.

When I decided to confront the evening dinner, battling with myself at the foolish idea of avoiding Severus all day when I only needed the time to myself, I realized quickly that my attempt to remain calm was in vain. I couldn't avoid the much-needed discussion and that included whatever uncomfortable truths and feelings that would undoubtedly appear. It seemed that Severus needed to speak to me anyway, so the time was unfortunately nigh.

The Great Hall was filled with chatter as normal. I had kept my sights downward as I headed toward the High Table and avoided anywhere near him. As I eased the concerns of Madame Maxim, and Minerva about me missing breakfast and lunch, I noticed that Aurora had left a seat open right next to Severus.

'Guess she thinks it's better to press the issue…' I thought to myself trying to suppress the unimpressive scowl I had when I nodded to her. Approaching the spot I pulled my seat out to sit down, doing my best to avoid looking at him and concentrating on my plate. I wasn't too sure if he was looking at me or not, curiosity getting the best of me and with a sneaking glance to my left I noticed he was holding his cup close to his mouth. I could've sworn I saw his eyes dart away when I did.

"Nice of you to join us this evening, Miss Thorne." Severus greeted in his classic bored tone as he took a sip of his drink. Sitting his goblet down took his fork to push around his mashed potatoes before speaking once again. "Found yourself well enough to make your way here I see."

I hummed with a bit of amusement at his words. "I just needed to catch up on paperwork, was all, but thank you for your apparent concern, Mr. Snape." I threw him a sly look at his otherwise blank stare he glanced at me. I could note the hint of suspicion in the glittering of his eyes before he looked back returning his attention to his food.

"Is that so?" He questioned while continuing to push around his food, I could sense something in his tone told me he wasn't convinced with my small, self-preserving lie. I nodded before looking away to try and get a hold of myself. There was silence for a moment, allowing myself to dig into my food and carry on. Aurora was enthralled in her conversation with Sinistra, so I was left to be consumed with my back-and-forth thoughts of what I was doing.

"I should hope you're caught up enough to have plenty of time for yourself after dinner… then." He broke the awkward silence that startled me slightly at his baritone voice. Looking at him once more I straightened myself up after understanding the message under his words words.

"Yes, I should." I lowered my tone as I kept my eyes on him and watched as he visibly relaxed, but there was still an air about him I couldn't quite place. Was there a contingency in what he wanted to share with me?

"Good." He answered curtly. The rest of dinner proved to be hard to endure, but after forcing myself into the conversation with Aurora and Sinistra it was easier to be distracted, yet it couldn't deflect from Severus's foreboding presence completely. After about ten minutes of chatting and eating, I noticed the quick movement of Severus departing the staff table, and while I wanted to jump up and follow him immediately to get to the bottom of whatever he wanted to talk about, I had to act natural and refrain myself. I thanked the Gods when Aurora and Sinistra decided they were finished with their food about five or more minutes later, allowing me to proclaim the same before all three of us ventured out and on our separate ways. I was the first to leave telling them I needed to double check with something in my office and turned on my heel in the opposite direction. I didn't linger on Aurora's more than-knowing smile when I departed.

I made my way quickly down to the dungeons, doing my best to be quick to my destination. 'Just be direct, and don't expect anything.' I thought to myself as the familiar corridor, dark and cold, had become comforting to me over this school year, but was now reflecting its gloomy state for what it was. I had to believe that the man who was just beyond the door to the potions room was someone I could trust.

I know I can trust him.

I touched the handle of the classroom door and stepped through, not bothering to knock from the outside. The classroom was empty and quiet with only a few illuminated lights, so it wasn't pitch dark. I looked to the office door and walked over, lifting my hand to knock when the sound of the lock turned, and the door opened slowly by itself.

'Does he always know someone here?' I thought to myself, thinking of the times when the door to his office had been closed and knocking was the only way to get his attention, versus the times like this when he expected me.

I walked through the threshold and entered the dimly lit space, noting the familiar shelves of vials and jars of various sizes filled with potions and animal parts. The office space had a love seat and chair in front of the fireplace that was roaring away with flames. Even with the fire it was as if the room retained a chilly temperature no matter the time of year. Stepping in I found him at his desk, writing away quickly but said nothing upon my arrival. It almost felt cold of him to do so. I pushed the door to close behind me and I watched as Severus held up a finger before waving his hand lazily. I noticed the magical presence sealing over the wood keeping everything within the confinements of secrecy from any outsiders.

He said nothing as he rose in lithe movement, throwing the quill that once moved wildly in his hand down and finally looking up at me. I couldn't distinguish what his face was telling me at the moment, only adding to my apprehension. He approached me slowly and with each step closer I could finally get a hint of what was running through his mind through his, hesitation.

I wanted to say something to him, but I was at a loss for words. His mouth opened to say something but as he continued to look at me, eyes traveling down before connecting back to mine, he seemed to be struggling with finding a way to figure out the right words to begin.

I couldn't take the silence anymore. "Severus, I–" Surprisingly he held up a hand to stop me, causing my eyebrows to jump at such a gesture.

"Selini…" His soothing, deep voice began, a voice full of concern and dread for what he was about to say next. "I know I left you with more questions than answers the last time we spoke… and I wanted to give you a chance to ask anything… that might be on your mind."

I stared at him, feeling so much at such a strange coincidence. The timing was strange, of course, but the fact that he wasn't putting up a fight in the first place was even more bizarre. Blinking my eyes drifted downward as the sign to take him up on his offer had come to fruition. I looked back at him and decided to take this opportunity.

"I need you to tell me more about… The Death Eaters… and The Dark Lord." It was unusual to hear meekness in my voice, but even with the hesitation, I did my best to remain firm in my stature and steel myself to push through my nerves.

Severus did not answer but merely stared at me. It did not surprise him, nor did it cause him to immediately brush me off. He made a slow advance to the back of the love seat where he leaned against it for support, licking his lips as he kept his head down. "You're not unaware of my previous associations with the Death Eaters."

"No," I agreed with him while still watching him. "I'm also aware that Igor Karkaroff is one of them, and I also know he was trying to warn you about something the night of the Yule Ball."

He did not react to everything that I said except for the part of my sentence when he snapped his sights on me, holding me in place with his widened eyes. His frown had formed as he held eye contact with me for several moments until he looked away with silent contemplation before he replied. "You heard the whole thing." His statement held no indication of a question.

I nodded once but allowed my silence to answer since he didn't see me.

"Igor may be insufferable with his persistent idea of discussing matters whenever he panics, but I don't need his hysterical ramblings to tell me anything I don't already know." His answer felt like he was speaking to me and himself. I furrowed my eyebrows watching as he turned his head toward me, but unable to meet me with his eyes. "Make no mistake that I do not have any associations with them anymore, Selini." His voice held no lie for me to detect which sent hot and cold shivers of relief through my back. "Yet our mark…" He gazed on his left arm, and though covered I was sure he could see the exact outline of the marking. "Has darkened considerably for months now." The dread within his voice wasn't meant for dramatics, but to express his concerns.

Allowing the words to sink I realized that my relief was short-lived. I wasn't entirely sure what the darkening of their mark meant but could tell it was a heavy conclusion from Severus that left no room for mistaking its severe meaning. "So, you think it's a sign then." My conclusion was met with a single, slow nod from him that made my stomach squirm. "Then… do you think he's coming back?"

"I can't be positive." He answered before getting up and closing the distance between us. "But I know for sure that it's not a comforting sign, nor should it be taken lightly." He added.

I looked at him, but he refused to make eye contact even with how close he was. I could see his frustration, worry, and even traces of guilt etched all over his face. I could tell this sign, one which he would know more about than I did, was affecting him far greater than he had ever shown, and it manifested in his lack of eye contact.

What would this even mean? The Dark Lord rises again and all of a sudden, we're all thrown into another war? Voldemort couldn't possibly come back, and yet I stood before someone who would doubt that answer.

"If he comes back…" I pushed, and my voice and hands were shaking from the rising anxiety. "If he… comes back… what happens to you, Severus?" I took a step forward and reached a hand to lay on his chest leaning forward a little to try and get him to look at me. He lifted his to place it on top of mine before he finally raised his eyes to meet me. Exhaustion and dejection on his face relayed a disappointing answer I hadn't heard yet.

"If applicable I must return to spying for Dumbledore, Selini." His expression was fixed to betray nothing, but his eyes had softened when my shoulders slacked, his tone held grave in his wake of horrible news. "There is no alternative; The Dark Lord will call those who bare the mark of him, and…" He paused for a moment, sighing as he looked into my horror-stricken eyes. "Answer to him."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing from him, the panic starting to rise as the dread of the situation was understood. Dumbledore, in all of his infinite wisdom, would no doubt use his advantages of having someone on the inside to gather intel. The thought of Severus being used as a pawn in some game of chess only flared anger toward the headmaster I trusted. I shook my head trying to dissolve the thoughts that ran rampant in my mind. "It'll be death, Severus! It's more well known that you've been cleared as a spy—"

"It can be plausible to make him believe so, Selini." He stopped me gripping "Lord Voldemort has his ways, but I have my defenses…" He gritted his teeth together as an unexpected growl rumbled from his throat. He let go of my hand and both of his palms cupped my face. I could see that his anger wasn't placed at me with the way his eyes flickered back and forth between mine. "I'm not worried about my safety–it is yours that I'm more preoccupied with! Don't you see how selfish I've been? Putting you and your loved one's entire lives in jeopardy because I couldn't do what was best for you?"

More and more began to connect for me as I looked at him. The night of the Yule Ball wasn't just pent-up frustrations about our connection, but also dealt with information I was ignorant of at the time. Of course, he wanted to keep this between us; he was protecting me like I knew he was! He did it the only way he knew by pushing me away, but as he had said it was futile. He called himself selfish, but I didn't see it that way. I was just as guilty of backing him into a place he couldn't escape from and succumbing to my wants. I could tell in more ways than one he wanted to take our relationship to the next step, but due to conflicting obstacles, he was forced to stay hidden in the shadows of his desires.

"That's why you've been so secretive, isn't it?" I questioned while blinking up at him. "Have more faith in us, Severus, we aren't incapable of defending ourselves." I tried to reason with him. The man shook his head as if he didn't hear a thing I had said.

"It doesn't matter how great you are at doing just that, there are ways where he can get to you!" He looked at me with urgency, begging for me to understand where he was coming from. I put my hands over his to pry them away and hold them in front of us.

"Severus Snape, if you're beating around the bush to push me away again, it will not work!" I hardened my expression at him. "We've barely had time together. I'm finally able to be with you freely like how we've both wanted! … Don't try to end what we have when it's barely begun, please!" The tears were prickling in my eyes causing me to curse my emotions for their timing as I looked down from his gaze.

I didn't see how his face scrunched in frustration, gritting his teeth once more after a moment's pause and looking away before ripping his hands away from mine and grabbing both sides of my arm. "Do you realize what you're asking me, woman? Heedless in what would be the more sensible, securer than any other option for you, Ramsey, and Beaumont? Potter, even?"

I hadn't realized I gasped until a moment later. 'How would he know about that?!' I had been so careful, and I know Harry wouldn't have said anything to him about it. He looked back to me and raised an eyebrow, a glint in his eye must've found my confusion entertaining. "No need to worry how I know. We're in the middle of a more important conversation." My eyes flickered to the ceiling before going back to those shimmering onyx eyes and letting the subject slide for the time being.

I could see his reasoning and I could completely understand everything he said to be true. I had multiple people to look out for and had to consider what would happen if something were to happen to them, or me. Even then I couldn't stomach the thought of losing what I gained. I knew him too well to think that he would put any of us in harm's way and that he would make sure none of us would be linked back to him personally. I had to believe that there was a way to make this work.

"You might think I'm being careless, but it's the fact that you're so concerned with all of us, that I know we'll be safe!" I watched as he stared in disbelief at my rebuttal with a twitch of his lips in a sneer. I didn't care that his disapproval was plainly written on his face. I had to make him understand I needed him! "You were careful once I knew you could be again. You'll make no associations to us outside of here, you'll… you'll be just as vigilant as I will be because I know you care enough to do the same!"

His arms slacked as he realized I wouldn't allow him the chance to leave me behind. I couldn't let him go because I thought maybe he would leave completely.

"And stop thinking I'm incapable of fighting back, Severus…" The annoyance in my voice was clear as I narrowed my eyes slightly at his. "I can do things even that madman can't."

He shook his head sighing deeply; he ripped his hands from mine before pulling me into his embrace. The calming earthy and smokey scent invaded my senses and allowed me to melt into his arms. It was strong, protective, and betrayed no idea of ever letting me go. My arms found their way around his torso, feeling his lean, but sturdy frame move under my touch. I pressed my face into his chest to try and stifle the shaking my body was going through. "I won't fuck it up on my end, and I can trust you wouldn't either," I muttered feeling the tears watering my eyes that tried to escape.

A hand had moved to the back of my head and gently pressed against my hair, feeling him shift forward. I felt his lips kiss the top just as gently as his touch had been. His action soothed my worries, my anxiety about our safety had dissipated away the longer we stood in this pose.

"We're fools, Selini Thorne…" He whispered in my hair sounding defeated but accepting. A small, amused smile formed on my face but dropped it before pulling back and looking into his dark, intense eyes.

"Probably," I whispered back. Not a moment later I leaned up to meet his soft lips. In this safe space where the outside forces of our world couldn't interfere. It was easy to think nothing could get passed his magical defenses, even if it was to only secure our privacy. Nothing could rip us apart now that had come together, even if it meant keeping our affections in the shadows. We stayed in this softer intimacy of each other, and I allowed the kiss that comforted all of my worries, fears, and anxieties better than anything he could've promised to consume me. His lips hummed into my mouth almost like he was amused and made me smile into our kiss. He started trailing his kisses over my jawline before he growled, but not in some kind of primal need for me, and instead sounded like agitation. Severus pulled away suddenly and set his sights on the door, cursing under his breath.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"Dumbledore's here," he said while sighing and looking down at me. I rolled my eyes and groaned, taking a step back and folding my arms. The old man was working up a bad list of reasons for me to start hating him. Taking another step back from Severus as his hands dropped to his side, fixing his face as best as he could to not show his disdain for yet another interrupted time together. He waved his hand allowing the charms to disperse, and the door swung open to allow the headmaster in his purple and silvery robes to step through. His kind expression that was ever present remained on his old and wise face.

"Ah, Maeve, what a pleasant surprise!" Dumbledore's blue eyes behind his half-moon spectacles twinkled with genuine pleasantry and sounded as if it weren't a bit odd that two teachers were together, at night, in a closed-off office. "I'm glad to see you and Severus spending time together; a good night to catch up with friends, yes?" His cheerful demeanor gave no insinuation that anything else could've been going on just moments before, but even with such a convincing, or sincere, conversation starter it almost made me think his words could've insinuated something else.

I gave a small smile and nodded once, clasping my hands in front of me. "Yes, I was just asking him about how he felt about this year's O.W.L's. students. Just… chit chat." It was such a poor excuse, but what else could I have said? Nothing else had come to mind, and Dumbledore seemed to take it with stride and hummed approvingly.

"I do hate to break things up, but I require Severus' input on an important matter." He explained while looking at the Potion's Masters directly. Whatever look was exchanged between them was quick for Severus to straighten up. I shifted my gaze between the two before nodding at Dumbledore.

"Of course," I looked at Severus for a moment and nodded to him. "Until next time, Severus." He gave me a curt nod and looked down from my gaze. I nodded to the headmaster and quickly made my way out of the office and potions classroom.

As I ventured back to my chambers I let our conversation mull over my mind. It was foolish, wasn't it? To continue with something that surely would paint the same target on my back just like Severus had.

'Only if they come back.' I rolled my eyes at my reasoning knowing that was even more ridiculous. Even Severus acted more concerned about that particular issue happening, and that in itself shouldn't have been shaken off with a simple game of "what if". Since that was the case, I had to stick to my promise and made it a priority to not mess anything up. So much was riding on this secret that there could be no mishaps. I could trust that Severus would do what he could, and if the time came that he had to spy again…

I stopped in the corridor and bit my lip. I didn't want him to be a part of anything involving Voldemort and his followers, nor did I want to think about what would happen to him if Voldemort didn't believe whatever lie he came up with involving his espionage work. How would he even do it? I started to pick my nails once more before mentally stopping myself. I had to stick by what I said, I trusted Severus in what he said and would do. After all Dumbledore, regardless of how I felt about him in this moment, was able to see something I could, too. He saw the redeemable, trustworthy, and loyal side I knew him for. The side of him that was able to come out of situations on top, or nearly unscathed.

'He'll make it through this… we both will.' I declared before continuing my walk.

---

A/N: Would you believe this is another chapter I hated having to write out LOL This could be a chapter that's subjected to a re-write as well. If you catch anything that you read that might not make sense, or conflicts, I implore you to let me know by messaging or even reviewing. I did my best to connect everything together while remembering which thing a character was aware of, or not. I also wouldn't mind if you let me know what you all thought of Severus's reaction; I can assure you I spent forever trying to think of how to write him out for this chapter more so than any other part lol. Trust me, it's for the plot points, but even then I have my conflicting opinions about it.
Did anyone catch the strange "all-knowing" actions of Severus, too? Of course that'll be explained later. We will also be meeting this Uncle Jethro character at some point, as well.

Much love and thanks,

TJ