– Aboard the flagship –
Two weeks after escaping Commoragh -
Servo-skull's holo recording -
PASQAL : The soul of the Machine God surrounds thee.
The power of the Machine invests thee.
Now, do your work and serve.
Pascal's slow binharic litany comes to an end as the faulted servo-skull buzzes on the ground and, with a last vibration, flies up. Its eyes glitch then burn red.
SERVO-SKULL : Long live the von Valancius dynasty ! What can I do to serve, 'Insert Name user' ?"
HEINRIX (whispering) : 'Insert Name' ? Elena, did you really neglect your tools so much that you forgot to forego with the parameters settings's incantation ?
ELENA : I am not going to answer that. Now, is that thing working or not ?
Elena points her new, augmented hand at the servo-skulls. Her short blonde hair ends in a sharp bob brushing her chin.
By her side, Jae examines the craft of the augment and discreetly compares it to her own.
Time spent in the medbay : 10 days. The abducted Lord Captain and her retinue had been awakened from their comatose state after a serious cure. Reduction of rejuvenat's stock : 75 %.
PASQAL : (hint of reproach in his voice) The answer to that question is "naturally, it is working." Recording of this reunion's minutes has begun."
ABELARD : (the Seneschal seems older now, despite the rejuvenat's treatment. It does not prevent him from staring everyone down.) " Perfect. I would like to remind all of you that this meeting is confidential. That is to say, not a word gets out of here.
CASSIA : We are aware of what confidential means, thank you, Seneschal. To proceed with the order of the day, as suggested by the Lord-Captain, we will begin with a retelling of the events that transpired during your unfortunate…absence….
VIGDIS (she joins her fingers in a gesture of blessing) : Blessed be His will for returning Her Ladyship back to us !
DANROK (nods along, biting back tears.)
Vigdis glances at an empty seat beside Abelard's seat. The servo skulls infer from previous recordings that Idira Tlass is not present at the moment. Her absence may be the cause of the sorrowful gaze of the Voxmaster.
JAE (sharply) : " What our Lady Navigator is trying to say with her usual euphemism, is that a lot of shit hit the fan while you were abducted for eight months in the Dark City. "
ABELARD (scoffs)
ARGENTA : " Eight months ? "
Even Elena widens her dark eyes. Only Heinrix manages to keep a straight face, but a line creases over his forehead.
JAE : Short story short, yes, eight months. Eight months of Jae Heydari playing Rogue Trader surrogate. Let me tell you, Elena, this is not what I had in mind when joining your retinue. This - this job is a complete shitshow !
Heinrix's fingers twitch as he seems to realize something. He glances at Elena then at the door.
ABELARD (scoffs more loudly) : Mistress Heydari, though I am glad to say from my reports that you have been up to this challenge, it does seem to have taken something out of you, beginning, perhaps, with your prudence and ability to form coherent speech.
JAE : For the love of the Exalted One, Grandpa, why don't you take the stick up your ass and hit yourself with it ?
ABELARD (scoffs so much he strangles himself) : Watch your manners, Heydari !
CASSIA (firmly) : Let us put the past behind and focus on what is important.
ELENA (nodding) : Yes. These past months had been straining for all of us. Jae, I thank you for stepping in and remaining loyal to the dynasty. Your service has been duly noted. Considering my protectorate is still standing and the Expanse hasn't yet been blown to bits, I daresay you did a good job. Lady Cassia, I would like to thank you as well. Eight months is a surprising amount of time to us. Maybe time stretches differently in the Dark City after all. (represses a shiver)
ARGENTA (mumbling to herself) : Story of my life…
ELENA : Getting back on business. I see a lot of new faces around the table. Maybe let's mark down the attendees.
JAE : Here you have Emelina Iona Lichtenhart, agent of the Inquisition.
EMELINA (clenching her teeth, looking at Heinrix and Achilleas) : I was rescued from certain death by Mistress Heydari and the von Valancius's actions. If not for their timely rescue, I…I'd rather not think about what could have happened. My…former…master has sent me there to die alone while you were away.
Heinrix's shoulders slump down. He looks exhausted. Achilleas's face is hard to read under the hood that hides away his monstrous features, but the beast seems shameful.
HEINRIX : I am glad you made it out alive then, Emelina. Worry not about my allegiance. I will not betray you. Nor, for that matter, should anyone around this table feel preoccupied with this topic. Calcazar thought me dead and gone. I intend for him to keep believing that. I…he won't be receiving any reports.
ACHILLEAS : I owe my life to Her Ladyship. After what I've done…what I became…I am no longer an agent of the Inquisition.
HEINRIX : Then that makes three renegades out of us.
ULFAR : You better keep your promises, pups. I will be watching you.
EMELINA : Promises will be kept and debts will be repaid, I assure you, Honored Space Wolf. But I'll say my piece when we come down to that.
The servo-skull proceeds with the recording. Attendees are : Rogue Trader, Seneschal, Argenta, Heinrix, Navigator, Enginseer, alert_xenos_1 (/occurence not to sound the alarm), Mistress of Whispers, Space Wolf, Emelina, Achilleas, Vigdis, Ravor, Danrok, Nomos. Absent are : Idira Tlass. Recording traces of invisible presence, xenos tech ? (/occurence not to sound the alarm. Reason : authorized presence. Level of accreditation : Red Magenta.)
ELENA : Jae, if you would be so kind. Tell us what happened when we were away.
JAE : You do know a lot of what happened already, don't you ? (Jae grabs a piece of tarnished paper, signed by Elena von Valancius.) You gave us seven coordinates before being abducted. Each one of them led us to a place or to someone important. But fine, I'll play along for the others. On the first coordinate, we reached Emelina's planet.
CASSIA : When we understood she was connected to Calcazar and Heinrix, we swept in. The settlement she was in was overrun with mandrakes. Darkness eclipsed any source of light. We repelled the invaders and saved the settlers.
EMELINA : It was a close call. I do not know what would have happened, hadn't Mistress Heydari rescued me. I thank you for your timely intervention, and for your hospitality, Your Ladyship.
ARGENTA (frowns) : Wait. Does it mean that…this was planned all along ?
ELENA (waves away the issue) : I see you choose to stay with us.
EMELINA : I knew Heinrix was with you in the Dark City. I merely wished to assist Mistress Heydari meanwhile, hoping to meet with him again.
The servo-skulls pick up a shade of blush over Jae's cheeks.
CASSIA : A useful member to have on our, well, let's say entourage. Emelina possesses a keen intellect, numerous information…including data-memory slates from people of interest. Such as Axiomantha Haneuman.
PASQAL (his visor flashes green and blue) : I require more information. How did a laywoman come into possession of sacred relics belonging to the Omnissiah ? Immediate surrendering of the data-slate is necessary.
EMELINA : I, uh…(uneasy)
HEINRIX (clears his throat) : Pasqal. Before setting foot to Rykad Minoris, I was sent to Eufrates II to help the Inquisition with a non-compliant suspect. Axiomantha Haneuman had been spotted by Brasswhisper and Calcazar thought she was hiding something heretic. I interrogated her, and learnt about a strange machine that was of interest to Calcazar. Brasswhisper then…dismantled her. The remnants I delivered to Emelina to study.
A chaotic scene ensues. Different voices overlap. Ulfar is the loudest of them all, growling threateningly over the table. Pasqal lets out a screech of curses directed at van Calox in binharic speech - the servo skulls dares not translate them into flesh-speak for fear of the ignominy contained within them. Threats are made. Neither Emelina nor Heinrix flinch.
ULFAR : Ah ! I knew Calcazar was a traitor ! He smelled like madness and ambition. When he invoked our brethren to the Koronus Expanse, it was to give chase to a heretic priest of Mars. The man is building something corrupted and wicked and he used us for that.
PASQAL : (with impatience) What was the name of the priest, Space Wolf ?
Most of the retinue wince in their different ways as understanding dawn on them.
ULFAR : Armanat. Does it matter ?
JAE : Shit.
PASQAL : It does. Did you or did you not lay your hands on Armanat ?
ULFAR : Couldn't personally get the chance to. Drukharis ambushed my squad. But the others got him.
PASQAL : Blasphemy. Your chapters of inept boeotians destroyed the most precious reliquary of knowledge in this sector ! Judgment will come for you !
ELENA : Stop ! Just…stop, everyone of you. We are not going to fall apart. All that has happened…it was set in motion by the same man. We need to stand strong together if we're to get our revenge.
Silence. Pascal's visor slowly regresses back to a cool green color.
PASQAL : This statement is true. I shall strive to find and confront this Brasswhisper. If the Lord Inquisitor is behind Armanat's condamnation, then I shall pursue him as well, to honor my master's memory.
ULFAR : I need no incentives to track and put down a rabid dog.
Some members of the retinue seem to relax.
ELENA : Cassia, Jae, please continue. What you say confirms some of the hypotheses I made.
CASSIA : After that, we followed your coordinates. We fought a Death Cult's training ground…finding Jae's brother amongst the trainees.
JAE (sharply) : Orlon. Yes. I. I delivered him to my friends in Footfall in hope of breaking him free of his indoctrination.
CASSIA : Speaking of which, Footfall fell to Chorda and Calcazar's hands. Chorda set a reign of terror, executing heretics by the thousands.
ARGENTA (presses her lips together) : A commendable task, I am sure.
JAE : Not when the so-called heretics are merely ordinary people ! I know you mean well, Sister Argenta, but truly Chorda has largely overstepped the boundaries of the Exalted One. We saw her eating a brain out of a living man !
CASSIA (grimaces) : Unfortunately true, and quite foretelling of her lack of good taste. The silverware was repulsive. Sadly, with the inquisitorial forces everywhere, we couldn't do much about Footfall (or its silverware). And so I regret to report that we have lost this settlement. All von Valancius's affiliates have been either killed or have fled the station.
ELENA (sighs) : I see. What else ?
JAE : The fourth coordinate led us to Quetza Temer, in Winterscale's territory. Calligos had begun hunting there. Things weren't interesting until we discovered the presence of Aeldaris refugees hiding in the jungles.
ALERT_XENOS_1 : What do you mean ? Are there more of my people out there ?
JAE : I believe they may even be said to be from Crudarach. Anyway, things could have taken a nasty turn very quickly, but Cassia saved the day.
CASSIA : I noticed unnatural colors swirling from Calligos's Seneschal. I uncovered him as an agent of the Ruinous Powers, slowly corrupting the Rogue Trader's mind. Calligos chose to turn against his Seneschal. He was badly wounded in the fight. He abandoned the planet for us to deal with. With Evayne's help, we decided to spare the Aeldaris on the condition they sheltered the settlers there. We thought it would be best to keep a status quo until you return, considering your previous arrangement with both Yrliet and Muaran.
ELENA : You have done well.
ALERT_XENOS_1 : Thank you.
ABELARD : So the xenos knows how to show gratitude after all. Maybe one day she'll even learn how to apologize.
The xenos looks struck. She merely hangs down her head, taking the blow without opposing resistance.
JAE : Continuing our wonderful journeys through the mysterious coordinates, we also found a strange Gateway of alien creation at the confines of the Expanse, guarded by Inquisitorial warships. We quickly fled away.
EMELINA : The Gateway to Epitaph.
ABELARD : Such a welcoming name.
CASSIA : We also landed on the planet you once talked to us about, Sister Argenta. The one with your Saint's ship on it ?
Argenta straightens in her chair.
CASSIA : The place was infected by Cultists of the Final Dawn. I believe they were the ones manufacturing the cursed artifacts we saw in the Rykad system. Sadly, the fight was interrupted by a storm and we had to get back to the ship. A seismic event trapped the ruins of the ship underground. I am sorry to say they are no longer accessible.
ARGENTA (crestfallen) : I…it should have been me. It should have been my duty to be there. My fate.
ULFAR : Maybe your fate lies elsewhere, little Sister.
JAE : In the end we came back to Janus. Muaran told us to stick around. He had foreseen your return in his visions. On Janus, the situation is tense. The inquisitorial agent dispatched there, Xue, has sniffed out your arrangements. The population is outraged. But they dare not go deep into the forests, where the xenos have retreated. It will not be long before another conflict erupts. Your…involvement…with the xenos has caused quite a stir and uh…
CASSIA : Chorda has deemed you a heretic and declared war on the von Valancius house.
JAE : Thankfully, you have been prioritizing our militarization and both Dargonus and Kiava Gamma have sent fleets. Chorda is locked at Footfall.
CASSIA : The Winterscales joined us. Calligos says it's been a long time coming. He also feels he owes you from sending us to him.
JAE : Calcazar has ordered a trial for you, Elena. You have a few days left to comply. Else he will join Chorda against you.
ABELARD : So, basically, you are saying the von Valancius dynasty is accused of high treason, in war with Chorda, we've lost Footfall, we're on the verge of losing Janus, our prime world, and the Lord Inquisitor wants to put the Lord-Captain on trial ?
JAE : Yes, that about sums it up !
ABELARD : (laughs maniacally) Superb. In all my time as a Seneschal, even with Lady Theodora, I had never faced such ill-fated odds.
HEINRIX : Better prepare yourself for the second part of the meeting, then, Seneschal.
ABELARD : Young man, I am always prepared.
ELENA : Perfect. Thank you, Jae, Cassia, for your retelling. Now, on our side. I'll try to make it short. As you may have guessed, my divination abilities have steered me in the direction of the Dark City and show me glimpses of our future. It proved sufficient to mark down those coordinates - I had vague intuitions that important things were connected to them and so I sent you to deal with them, trusting you completely to do the right thing. In this, you have proved me right.
CASSIA (puffs out her chest.)
ELENA : I entered the Dark City because I believed we would strike a blow in the Archon's heart and we did. The Archon is dead, her Kabal in disarray, and I daresay the drukharis won't bother us for a moment.
ALERT_XENOS_1 : But they shall come back for revenge, one day or the other.
ELENA : Certainly. We'll be expecting them. As for Calcazar…Heinrix ?
HEINRISX (sighs) : Theodora discovered something of tremendous power over the planet called Epitaph. Calcazar learnt about it through his spies and pressured her into servitude, trying to acquire that power for himself. But only Armanat, Theodora's Magos, understood the nature of the artifact. Armanat flew, hiding away in the stars, probably after Ulfar's attack. What happened to him is unclear. His students, though, amongst which Pasqal is, proved to have some glimpse of information about his works. The Inquisition found Axiomantha, but not the others. To Brasswhisper, it was enough to help launch a construction project of massive scale on Eufrates II. I do not know the nature of the artifact or of the project.
EMELINA : Maybe I could elaborate on that. The project is called the Yoke. The artifact on Epitaph is a part of a Machine God. Others may call it a C'Tan. Theodora had asked Armanat to work on a way to direct the C'Tan power. I believe Calcazar wants the same thing : to put it under his leash and to order it around. A C'Tan is a being of incredibly complex powers, able to distort even reality. By using it, the Lord Inquisitor could destroy the Cult, the drukharis, every foe of Humanity in the Expanse. He would also become a threat to the Calixis's Conclave - and he is certainly no stranger to revenge. His…mission in the Koronus Expanse…was an astute way for his rivals to stop his rise in power in Calixis. I believe that, with the C'Tan, Calcazar would take control of the whole Expanse, break its Rogue Traders into servitude, and be able to end the warp storm separating us from Calixis. In time, he would come back to take revenge on his rivals. I believe it includes the woman who trained you, Your Ladyship. Of course, that is what the Lord Inquisitor envisions for himself. But the C'Tan is a tricky power to hold and control, and it could very well be the downfall of all of us if he fails.
Various reactions. The xenos wards herself in aeldari gestures, frightened, and the invisible presence shuffles on his feet with the grace of a dancer. The Enginseer stands up, his mechadendrites roaring over his hunched figure. Elena frowns, pensive.
PASQAL : The purity of the machine cannot be stained by base humane instincts for power ! Its powers cannot be controlled ! If this woman's statements are true, then we may be in the presence of a part of the Machine God. If my master decided to flee from Theodora and Calcazar, it surely was to protect the knowledge he had acquired and ultimately to prevent the Machine from being used and debased.
ALERT_XENOS_1 : For once I agree with your cog man. This plan is madness ! And what use could your Inquisition have for so much power ? No one can direct the power of the Star Gods. They devour planets and suns, fly on the waves of the void. Thinking about manipulating them is…folly !
ACHILLEAS : Calcazar was…working…with the drukharis, to provide suns for his project. I now understand why.
HEINRIX : What ?
ACHILLEAS : Rykad Minoris's fate was no coincidence, Heinrix. The Kabal of the Reaving Tempest did it - you met Marazai without even realizing he already was toying with you. He had planned to purposefully takes this specific sun - to spur the Lord Inquisitor. Many suns have been stolen this way recently, which leads me to believe that this C'Tan power must have been awakened. The Lord Inquisitor must be on the cusp of succeeding in his plans.
Heinrix van Calox pales. A murderous look sparkles in his eyes.
SERVO-SKULL : We confirm.
ABELARD (turning slowly on himself) : Did I hear this thing speak ?
PASQAL (gazes at Elena, who nods back at him) : When Armanat worked for Theodora, he extracted something from the C'Tan. A fragment, a shard for him to study. It lays slumbering for an unknown time and in its dreams, it stirred into the ship's essence, becoming part of it.
ABELARD (muttering under his breath) : I am not going to like this, am I ?
The xenos in the room recoil with fear.
ALERT_XENOS_1 : This cannot be ! The Star God…
SERVO-SKULL : Nomos wouldn't say they are a Star God. More like a Star Seeker, perhaps.
Cassia clicks her tongue and something in her stern attitude brings everyone's attention to her. She shines with authority.
CASSIA : Nomos were born when Elena shed blood in the Anteroom of the Holy Warrant, as I understood. Confided in our care, they have considerably evolved.
JAE : What she means is that she's been having book club sessions and painting lessons with a C'Tan shard.
CASSIA : Nomos was the one to save me from Tisiphone.
JAE : Fine. But that thing has been reading too much.
CASSIA : It's not a thing.
PASQAL : Surely you didn't just try to teach a fragment of the Machine God how to paint, Lady Navigator. With your immense knowledge and education, the fragment would have better use of your mathematical abilities or navigational skills.
SERVO-SKULL (NOMOS) : But we like painting !
Argenta stares blankly at a point in the ceiling. Ulfar pokes at the servo-skull. Emelina stares with interest.
ELENA : Pascal, Cassia, you can argue about the best way to raise Nomos later. What matters now is that you all know everything. Now, what's the plan ? What do we do ?
Silence.
ULFAR : We reach Eufrates II and grind Calcazar to dust.
JAE : But he's on Footfall right now, surrounded by all of Chorda's forces.
ULFAR : Then we reach Footfall, grind Chorda's forces to dust, and then Calcazar's.
ABELARD : Things are probably much easier for you, Honored Space Wolf, but we do not have that kind of tactical power.
HEINRIX : Then we lure him out.
ELENA : I'll go to his trial.
ABELARD : You cannot seriously think about it !
ELENA : Why not ? (shrugs) That is the only way our ship will be allowed to close in on Footfall.
ACHILLEAS : But he will then capture the vessel and interrogate you, Your Ladyship. At length.
ELENA : I doubt he will have much time for that. You said he was on the cusp of achieving his goals. Time is of the essence for him. He knows all he needs to know already. I think he will just clean up unfinished business and burn me at the stake, to cement Chorda's fealty and ease his war with Calligos. Then execute everyone on board, of course, once I'm disposed of. The only true person of interest here to him is Pasqal, because of his connection to Armanat. All of you are just…thorns in his side, nothing else.
HEINRIX : I do not see how walking to your death is going to help us. Even if you manage to fool him enough, you wouldn't be able to assassinate him. He will be defended and guarded by his most loyal acolytes, with the elites of Chorda's House assisting him. He is aware of your psychic abilities. He'll have a stifler on you the second you set foot on Footfall. Even with your pyromancer skills, you will still burn.
JAE : And there is no way we can infiltrate Footfall with enough firepower to take it down. Chorda wants us all dead !
ELENA : Then let's use our brains.
They pause to contemplate the issue.
ARGENTA : I have an idea.
ELENA : Let's hear it.
ARGENTA : We put our faith in Him. Do you remember when Chorda asked to me join her retinue ? Reverend Doloroso came to me that day to speak to me. There is one thing to say about Chorda : she is a zealot woman. Let us use the trial to denunce Calcazar. Turn it around. Deliver proof of his acquaintances with the xenos. We may not be able to sneak in with firepower, but Chorda has everything we need already settled there.
HEINRIX (a bit surprised) : An astute idea. But Chorda is respectful of imperial dogma. Will she not reject any accusations made by Elena, on the basis that Elena is a known psyker and Calcazar the Lord Inquisitor ?
ARGENTA : I didn't say we had to convince Chorda. We need to persuade Doloroso. And where Elena might fail, I shall not, for I walk in His light.
Slowly, Heinrix smiles as he eyes Argenta with a new look. Elena nods approvingly. Jae claps.
ACHILLEAS : If this somehow works - then Calcazar will try to kill you on the spot before fleeing away to his ship. Let's imagine that Chorda orders her troops to chase the Inquisitorial forces. Calcazar still has the equivalent of a small army working for him ! You wouldn't be able to do much to stop him.
JAE : But we have a secret card up our sleeves.
ELENA : Calcazar thinks Heinrix, Emelina and Achilleas dead. He does not even know about Ulfar. Why not use that ? You are the best suited to infiltrate his quarters and find a way to take down his most fierceful acolytes.
Ulfar growls happily. Danrok looks excited.
JAE : And we have allies over Footfall. I can sway Tocara around, persuade him to take over the docks.
CASSIA : Evayne Winterscale stands ready to help us. Let him strand the Inquisitorial ships.
HEINRIX : Fine. How do we prevent Elena and Argenta, and whoever might accompany them, from being killed during the trial, though ? They'll be outnumbered and disarmed, and, I remind you, your psykana will be stifled.
ELENA : Your continued interest in our survival is touching, Heinrix. (soft smile) We'll need discreet back-up, able to hide away from the sensors.
HEINRIX : No one can do that.
ALERT_XENOS_1 (looks at something in the room) : …monkeighs are not sophisticated enough to do that. Aeldaris can. And after all that has happened…after saving the survivors from Crudarach…it would only be fair to lend a helping hand. No, more than that, it is necessary to help in killing off the fool that wishes to unleash a C'Tan in the Expanse. (speaking in Aeldari) I am starting to understand your play, Solitaire. So this is why you've been with us all this time.
Elena glances at the invisible presence. The air ripples, as if the presence was taking a bow. Heinrix frowns, looking around the room.
ELENA : It's settled, then.
PASQAL : Requesting the Lord Captain to assist her in confronting Calcazar. Brasswhisper holds the key to Armanat's secrets.
ELENA : Of course.
ABELARD : That's our plan ? We don't even have a plan B if things go sideways. Lord-Captain, you cannot be put in danger like that.
JAE : Oh, come on, Seneschal. I'm sure you followed quite reckless plans yourself when you were a dashing officer of the Navy !
ABELARD : That is not reckless. That's suicidal !
RAVOR : Never thought I'd see the day where I agree with an ex-Navy. It's a chance in a million !
PASQAL : This statement is incomplete. Statistically, odds are not in our favor. But chance has no say in our fates when we have competence and talent to subdue it. You need not worry, layperson.
ELENA : A chance in a million. A suicide mission. Stakes are higher than ever. I'd say this sounds like fun, now, don't you ? End of the meeting. You're dismissed for the day. Cassia, Ravor, you can begin charting the way to Footfall.
– In the medbay —
Elena wasn't even surprised when Heinrix snuck in the medbay behind her.
"I came here as soon as I could," he said.
"Eight months", she said.
Heinrix stopped, looked at her, hesitant. "The new hair looks good on you", he offered gently.
Elena smiled at that. "Thank you, Heinrix."
Chief Doctor Jane Valess emerged from a sealed room. Seeing them, her face brightened up. The doctor seemed genuinely happy to find them.
"Your Ladyship ! Allow me to say that I am ever so glad our regenerative vat worked so well on you. Master van Calox."
She flashed a brief glance at Elena.
"No need to hide away. I know", said Heinrix.
"He knows", confirmed Elena.
Jane Valess sighed and dropped the amicable mask. "I knew you'd come here as soon as your meeting with the commanding officers was over. You have been away for so long…eight months, as I'm sure you know…and then two weeks you were out, for the regenerative treatment. You have to realize this is not a fetus anymore, Your Ladyship. This may be a bit of a shock to both of you. You may feel you are meeting a stranger - and these feelings would be completely normal and understandable."
Elena paled. Anxiety crept inside her heart. Rationally, she could understand the Doctor's words, even find her empathy comforting. Emotionally, she felt unsure she wanted to see it.
No, not it. She.
A girl.
Her daughter.
The one she hadn't even carried inside her flesh. A seed that would have perished in the Dark City. Elena had never thought that their stay in Commorragh would be so…long. She had never thought she would have come home to this. To a newborn that didn't feel like it was hers.
Her mind grew blank and heavy as she followed the Doctor in the most sealed room of the medbay, where her secret has been cared for and protected. Jane Valess kept speaking, reassuring words, but all sounds faded into the background. Her heart sank inside her chest and she began to sweat.
She did not dare look at Heinrix. Now that they were both here to meet this…newborn (their newborn !), she couldn't find the strength in herself to overcome the shame she felt for all she put him through, all she did.
Heinrix stepped inside the room, feeling the same nervousness and anticipation as Elena. But something was different in him. He wanted to be there. Somehow, deep down, he had always wanted this.
Oh, sure, this wasn't happening the way he had longed for in the depths of his soul. It wasn't perfect. Were he a normal man, and not a psyker, he would have wed a noble girl from Guisorn III. He would have held her hand as her belly grew round. He would have stood by her side as the labor of birth unraveled her. He would have presented the child with pride and undying love to his parents. His sisters would have been godmothers. But all of that was wishful thinking and disappeared in an instant.
He was a bit surprised at Elena's reluctant reaction, as she seemed to decompose herself on the spot. He hesitated. Should he strive to encourage her ? But the bitterness between them tightened his throat. No.
For once in his lifetime, he needed to have his place, his time, his moment.
He brushed past Elena gently and was the first one to lay eyes over the coffin.
The newborn was very small, with lots of mousey hair on her head. She was sleeping on her back. Her tiny little hands were put above her tiny little head, her palms slightly opened and her tiny littles fingers curved.
All stopped.
The grown man that was Heinrix van Calox started to cry, and smile, and cry some more. He didn't even understand why he was crying. But he was.
For the first time in his life.
He took off his gloves and gently lay a finger inside the newborn's little hand, his voice strangled with emotion.
" Welcome, welcome, little one. " He barely could speak.
Doctor Jane Valess had stopped talking. She held a medical file. Surely there was a lot she was going to tell them, but considering Heinrix's burst of emotion, she wisely chose to give them space.
Heinrix smiled between his tears. The newborn's fingers closed up against his own. The babe stirred in her uncomplicated sleep.
When he felt strong enough to let go of her hand - which was an eternity of bliss - he straightened up and looked at Elena.
Her large black eyes were fixated on the child, her face contorted in nervousness.
Heinrix gently embraced the newborn, with utmost caution. She weighed nothing in his arms.
"I forgive you, Elena", said Heinrix with a calm tone.
All was clear to him now.
Surprised, she looked at him.
"You do ?"
"I forgive you utterly and completely. You were right to keep this child a secret. To tuck it away where she would be safe. Where she would live."
She looked even more surprised. He took a step towards her, his voice cristalline with certainty and passion. He felt like his brain was on fire. Gently, he put his hands over her shoulders.
"I could not understand before. I will never understand you completely. I could not have done what you did. But it needed to be done. I forgive you, for you have given me the most precious gift in the world."
"I have ?" Elena was taken aback by his elated behavior, so completely unusual in him.
Heinrix smiled, as if possessed by an unknown spirit. His hand reached for the rosette around his neck and he swiftly unclasped it and threw it in the garbage bin.
"You have given me love. I used to love you, but I was blind. It is not a woman's love I have been seeking all this time. I thought I needed you, but I don't. I thought I wanted to be loved, but it isn't true."
He secured his embrace over the newborn child.
"What I needed, what I always wanted was to love. And thanks to you, I have everything I always needed here, in my arms."
Elena left the medbay a while after that. She had held the newborn in her arms, unsure of how she was supposed to feel. Then she had looked at Heinrix - a transformed man. A light had bloomed within him.
Why didn't she have this light ? Why was she wrong ?
She had left him to observe the child. She hadn't expected Heinrix to react so positively to this. But it was like watching a butterfly grow out of a cocoon. He was so blissful.
Had he…the words he said…it sounded like he was putting an end to their relationship. Which, she guessed, might be fair. After all, she wasn't the best partner to keep around.
Still, she felt disoriented and lost. She strayed away from the medbay into the ships, walking into the whirring engines. Their rumbles and cacophony soothed her down.
What was wrong with her ? Why couldn't she be good ? A good mother would have loved her child instantaneously, she was sure of it. The Doctor had warned her that such rumors were fairy tales, that women often needed time to get used to their child. A good romantic partner would certainly not have thrown away her lover to the drukharis.
The price of her actions stung her heart deeply.
All that to protect the Expanse, her protectorate. She wondered for a second if that was worth it and then stopped, horrified at herself for even having thought that in the first place.
Of course it was worth it ! There were so many souls, so many lives depending on her ability to impede Calcazar's plans and the Cult's schemes. Other mothers, other fathers who didn't even know her name and yet their joy, their love she held in her hands. Of course it was worth it ! What was love, what was happiness after all ? Nothing compared to doing the right thing. The Expanse didn't need a happy Elena, or a loved Elena. It needed someone who would do the job ahead of them. There was no true happiness if one wasn't doing their moral duty.
A ripple in the air. Switching to her with-sight, she noticed the faded, almost invisible colors of the alien aura following her around.
"My psykana picks up on your presence, you know," she said.
The strange Solitaire she'd met in Commorragh deactivated his holo-engine. What was his name already ? Nocturne of Oblivion. She'd been so out of her mind when he rescued her from this pile of corpses that it all faded into a blur. She remembered confusing tirades and complicated schemes. Yrliet had told her about him. How he had guided them along towards their escape, pulling strings from the shadows. Her strings.
" And here goes our Merchant Vagabond, having burnt up the threads of her fate,
Life is but a walking shadow, a poor player, that struts and frets his hour upon the stage ;
And then, it is heard no more.
It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing."
The mask over the Aeldari's face prevented Elena from trying to guess at his expressions. She spotted two dark blue eyes underneath, their cool surfaces reflecting only the merest glimpse of amusement.
She remembered Yrliet telling her that Solitaire like that followed Cegorach, the Aeldari God of art and trickery, an ever laughing deity. It did feel like the xenos was smiling.
"You are quoting a human artist," she noticed. Aeldaris rarely gave any of their attention to humanity's crafts.
"The words of my kind would be lost to your intellect. But the wisdom of yours may imprint their meaning upon your heart. "
She snorted, tired. Despite all her actions towards them, the Aeldaris kept seeing her as an inferior being.
"If this is so, why do you keep following me around ?" she said with annoyance in her voice.
Nocturne tilted his head, scrutinizing her.
"Because you are the most interesting one to observe, Merchant Vagabond ; you are the only one who sees what I see", he replied, letting go of some of his theatrics. His voice sounded different when he was not playing a role, she noticed. Unless it was another mask.
"I don't understand."
"You see", he repeated. "An actor green leading the stage, yet your audience is also your own theater." He kissed the tip of his finger dramatically and opened his palm up. "You, Merchant Vagabond, are a mise en abîme", he said gravely and delightfully. "I have to come watch your play unfold. Many depend upon it."
Elena understood. The Solitaire somehow knew about her dreams of other dimensions, of alternative timelines and selves. How ?
It unnerved her.
"This is not a play", she snapped. "I am not playing. We are talking about billions of lives. This is serious ! This is not a stage and I am no actress !"
The Solitaire merely smiled. "Is it truly not ?" he asked. "Nothing great is ever achieved by being serious, Merchant Vagabond. We are all playing games. You have stumbled for a long time, but now you need to dance."
He offered her his hand.
"I am not dancing with you", she hissed. But, drawn away by the incongruity of the day, she took his hand all the same.
The Solitaire swirled her around in a graceful step and, taking a step back, dragged her to the shadows.
"Forget what you thought you are, Merchant Vagabond. Forget what you thought made sense. Let go of the mask of seriousness. I have walked the many pathways of the Webway and through them I have seen what you have seen too. And I laughed at what I saw. Still, never before have I met one with eyes piercing through the veil."
Elena listened, deeply unsettled, her already battered confidence stripping away.
"If you are to succeed, you have to embrace creation and destruction. Stop trying to presume what you should do, how you should act. Give in to what drives you. Lay your cards and be all in. The bets are off, the die is cast. But chance hasn't stopped spinning yet and in this moment, fate can break upon the shores of irony."
The gentle voice faded into the shadows of the inside of the ship. Or was it still the ship ? Elena felt the tingle of the Empyrean upon her skin. Another swirl. Another step into the dark.
"Your kind knows nothing but the constraints of shame. Do not be ashamed to follow your dreams, Merchant Vagabond. In dreams lie the truth."
The pull stopped. Elena found herself alone, wondering if that truly happened.
*** Authors' note ****
2 chapters left to the ending guy ! Can you believe this crazy long fanfic is coming to an end ! Give me strenght to reach the finish line I swear !
Also, please be aware Heinrix literraly possessed me when writing the scene with the babe. I wasn't planning on him dumping Elena while at the medbay but before I knew it was all written down. I believe that man is happy like this and has managed to evade his toxic girlfriend.
Elena I am sure there is an alternative dimension somewhere where you're all happy. But right now I'm sorry you just get the one where your life kind of suck.