Thank you as always to Hollie, hope you had a lovely refreshing break. Enjoy!
Two weeks had passed since she had put down the money to buy her flat, and now the time had finally arrived to move. Sally had taken the day off work, and handily Will and Nate were off too. They arrived at Sally's at half 7 to be met by Jess with a plate of bacon and sausage sandwiches and cups of tea.
"Well, I suppose this makes up for the ridiculously early wake up call this morning. You're lucky I like you." Will grumbled, grabbing a sandwich.
Nate smiled at Sally before getting a tea from the breakfast bar, and a sandwich from Jess. "So, the plan is?"
"Pretty much just to move my stuff from here upstairs! I've ordered some bits of furniture that should be getting delivered today as well, so they'll need putting together. And then obviously my Christmas decorations need to go up." Jess said innocently. Since she had the move in date confirmed she'd been amassing new Christmas decorations for the flat- a fresh start from what she had in her marital home. She couldn't wait to get everything in and sleep in her own bed in her own flat tonight. But there was a lot to be done first.
It was 5pm. Everything of Jess' had been moved from Sally's and piled in the corner of her new bedroom while she sorted out where everything needed to go. Nate and Will were busy putting together Jess' new bed, while Jess deep cleaned the bathroom and Sally cleaned the kitchen. The kettle had been on non stop today, and Jess had been offering plenty of mince pies. She emerged from the bathroom, wiping her brow.
"You'd think if you were moving out, you'd clean the place first. That toilet was disgusting." Jess said, her face a look of disgust.
"Oh sorry, that might have been me to be fair." Will said with an apologetic look on his face.
Sally and Nate started laughing while Jess just looked at him in exasperation. "But look, I have put your bed together for you. And the wardrobe is next, don't worry."
Jess smiled at him, handing him and Nate a beer. "I really do appreciate this, honestly. I'm lucky I have any friends after pretty much ignoring you the last six months or so!" Jess said apologetically.
Nate and Will cheers'd before Nate said, "We knew there was a lot going on, we didn't want to push it Jess. We were here ready when you were ready, that's the main thing."
Sally looked at Nate, her face softening, "I think that's the nicest thing you've ever said Nathaniel!"
Nate looked embarrassed, sipping his beer, "Well we're all being honest here aren't we!"
Jess patted his shoulder as she walked past, ready to put fresh new sheets on her fresh new bed.
By 7pm all the furniture had been made, the sofa and armchair had been delivered, the internet connection had been sorted and the TV was connected. Nate and Will were sitting on the sofa, watching the football, eating pizza and drinking beer. Jess and Sally were enjoying Bailey's on the rocks while they finished putting the last ornaments on the tree. Jess placed the last bauble, near the top of the tree, a simple white and gold bauble with "Luke" written on it. She smiled softly to herself and flicked on the lights. Jess and Sally sighed with satisfaction. Jess collapsed on the sofa next to Will, Sally into the armchair.
"Well well well, a job well done on all accounts. Thank you so much all of you, I know I've said it a lot but I wouldn't be sitting cosy with everything made and sorted in one day without you. I owe you all." Jess said, leaning on Will's shoulder.
"Don't worry, we'll be cashing that in as and when it's needed." Will said, tipping his beer bottle at her.
"I'm sure you will!" Jess laughed.
"When are you back at work?" Sally asked, stealing a slice of pizza from Nate.
"Tomorrow night! Hence why I'm extra grateful the flat is done and dusted, it means I can just focus on me and work and not trying to sort out building furniture and decorating and all that stuff." Jess replied, finishing her drink.
"Well I don't know about you but I'm ready for bed, I'm on days from tomorrow." Sally huffed, getting to her feet. She came and gave Jess a tight squeeze. "I'm proud of you. You know where I am, if you need anything, I'm going to miss having you in the room next door!"
"Just think, instead of being in the room next door, I'm just in the room above instead. Thank you Sal, I've left a spare key for my flat on your kitchen side so you can come in whenever. I'll see you at the handover tomorrow." Jess said, squeezing her friend tightly. Sally bid goodbye to Nate and Will too, waving as she went.
"We should probably head off too, we're heading over to Leon's to watch the rest of the footie. See you later Jess, call us if you need anything ok? Can't wait for an official flat warming." Nate said with a wink, kissing her on the cheek.
Will ruffled her hair as he got up, which led to a death stare from her, "See you tomorrow night my friend." He laughed as him and Nate left, feeling her scowling.
And then they were all gone. She was on her own, in her own flat, for the first time in her life. She didn't quite know what to do with herself. So she sat back on the sofa, grabbed the throw blanket and settled it over her legs and put on The Holiday.
The following day was crisp but bright. Jess pulled open her bedroom curtains, sliding on her slippers and pulling her dressing gown round herself tightly. She pressed a kiss to the photo of Luke on her nightstand before walking through to the kitchen. She was planning to have a lazy day, with an afternoon nap later before her shift. She had just flicked the kettle on when there was a knock at the door. She stood still, looking over towards the front door. No one had called to access the main door at the bottom, and she wasn't expecting anyone. Plus it was half 8 in the morning, not normal visiting hours.
She slowly walked to the door, peering through the peephole, sighing with relief as she saw Callum the other side. She slid the chain off and unlocked the door, opening it.
"Good morning?" she said with a smile, a questioning tone in her voice.
"Morning. Sorry I know it's early, but I'd just finished work and knew you moved in yesterday and wanted to see if you needed any help putting any furniture together or moving any furniture from Sal's? Plus I got you these." he said with a smile, offering a bouquet of seasonal flowers and a card, "Just a little house warming gift."
"Ah thank you Callum you didn't need to do that! Come on, it's cold out there. I don't need any help with anything though, Sal took the day off work to help me and Nate and Will were free as well, so we got it all done yesterday. But thanks for offering, and even thinking about it, that's really kind. Do you want a coffee now you're here?" Jess offered.
"Only if you're making one. I should have called before just turning up unannounced, sorry." he said apologetically.
"Honestly Callum it's fine. It's nice to see you." she said with a shy smile. She made their drinks, handing Callum his black coffee and going to sit on the sofa.
"When are you in next?" Callum asked, sipping the coffee.
"As if you haven't checked already." Jess said cheekily with a laugh. She thought she saw the tinge of a blush on Callum's cheeks.
"I can't say I have actually!" he replied somewhat defensively.
"I'm only teasing you. I'm back tonight, first shift in over two weeks, since the miscarriage." she said, looking down into her drink.
"Are you ok Jess, truly?" Callum asked, moving closer on the sofa.
"I'm getting there. Some days are fine, it's like none of that bad stuff happened. And then other days I get lost in the grief of losing my son, my baby and my husband in the space of four and a half months. Taking each day as it comes helps, and not having any expectations on how I should or shouldn't be feeling. Christmas is going to be tough. It's my favourite time of year, and the magic of Christmas is reignited when you have children. There won't be that magic this year." Jess said sadly, her eyes filling with tears.
Callum put his empty cup down on the table and pulled Jess to him slowly, allowing her the time to pull away if she wasn't ready. She didn't pull away. He held her tight as she sobbed, stroking her back and just being there with her. After a few minutes the sobs subsided and she pulled back. He wiped the tears away with his thumb. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you."
"You didn't upset me Callum. I'm sorry I keep crying in front of you all the time. Thank you." she said quietly.
"For what?" he asked with confusion.
"For letting me cry." she said with a nod.
Jess woke up from her afternoon nap, not believing how dark it was outside already. She got up, pulling her dressing gown on and walking through to the bathroom. She turned on the hot tap for the bath, dropped in a bath bomb and went to the kitchen to make a tea while the bath filled. She returned to the bathroom, adding some cold water to the bath and placed her tea on the unit next to the sink. She undressed, dropping her pjs in the wash basket and slid into the hot water, a sigh escaping her lips. Her eyes shut in bliss, letting her mind wander, not surprised when it first went to Luke.
Memories played in her mind, a small smile corssing her face at the feeling he was close to her in that moment. She washed, drank her tea, got out and got her clothes ready to head into work. Her travel mug was filled with coffee, her puffer coat pulled on tightly to brace againt the cold, her boots laced up and she grabbed her bag and keys and left the flat.
Jess got to work a bit later than she wanted because of evening rush hour traffic. It was typical that she left early but ended up late anyway. As she walked through the station, she smiled as everyone welcomed her back, congratulating her on leaving Dan. It felt good until she walked past Dan's now empty office. She checked down the hall before sliding through the ajar door. She walked around his desk, sitting in the big leather chair.
On the desk was a picture of her and Dan on their honeymoon, then another of Luke just after he'd been born. She took the picture and put it in her bag. She looked through the drawers, seeing if he'd left anything behind. At the back of one of the drawers, her fingers scraped against something. She grabbed what felt like a small box, pulling it to the light to examine. It looked like an engagement ring box, but when Jess opened it, it wasn't a ring she found, but diamond earrings.
"Oh Dan." she whispered to herself.
"Jess? What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be at the briefing?" Smithy asked, peering into the room. Jess jumped before sliding the box into her pocket.
"Um yeah, sorry Sarge." Jess said hurriedly, before following Smithy down the corridor. She would give these to Dan tomorrow when she collected the last few items from their house.
Beth and Jess had been paired together for the night and had been put on patrol in the squad car. They were both delighted at this, considering the sub zero temperatures. A nice toasty car was perfect. They had just pulled in to get coffee when Jess' radio went off.
"Sierra Oscar 54 to Sierra Oscar 134." Smithy's voice crackled out of Jess' radio. She sighed before shutting her car door and starting the engine up.
"Go ahead 54." Jess replied.
"A man has rung in saying there's someone screaming in Harris Park. He didn't know whether to approach or not so rung us. Could you go check it out, over?" Smithy asked.
"Sure, we're not far away. Show us dealing, over." Jess replied before putting the car into gear and moving off towards the park.
Jess and Beth had pulled their torches out the car, and wrapped their coats tightly around them. The night was cold; Jess and Beth really wanted their coffees.
"What's the plan?" Beth asked, checking her torch was working.
"We find the person, make sure they're alright." Jess said simply.
"Well yeah, but what if there's a fight or whatever?" Beth asked.
Jess looked at Beth, "Beth, we're police officers. We've attended plenty of shouts like this. Are you sure that you're not the blonde one sometimes? It's like you forgot that you're trained for these situations." Jess laughed at the look on Beth's face, "Come on, I'll go first if you want."
"Ok, but I'm just saying, it's creepy here at night. Where did Smithy say the caller came from?" Beth asked, her torch sweeping the bushes.
"He didn't. Hopefully the man is still around somewhere." Jess said, looking carefully around the park.
"Over here!" a man's voice shouted to them. The women approached where the voice came from carefully.
"Hello? Police!" Beth called.
"Yes, here. I was the one that called you." the elderly man said, waiting at a bench for the officers.
"Ok sir, could you tell us your name please?" Jess asked, pulling out her pen and pad.
"Mr Norris, Greg Norris. Now I heard what sounded like a woman screaming not too long ago. It was coming from those bushes over there." Greg said, pointing at the clump of bushes and trees just to the left of where they were standing.
"Did you approach the area at all?" Beth asked.
"No, I didn't know if it was safe to. That's why I called you. But the screaming stopped just before you turned up. It's just silent now." the man said worriedly.
"Ok Mr Norris. If you can give my colleague your address, then you can go. We'll be in contact if we need any more information." Jess said, smiling at the man, "Beth, I'll check the bushes."
"Ok, I'll get the address then I'll be over." Beth replied, jotting down Mr Norris' address. Jess waded into the bushes, her torch sweeping the undergrowth. Jess halted in her tracks, there was a bloody hand print on one of the trees.
"Beth!" Jess yelled. There was a loud crashing noise and then Beth appeared at her side. Jess focused her torch on the hand print.
"We need to find whoever it was, they could be seriously injured. I'll call it in." Beth said, pulling her radio off her jacket.
Jess headed further into the undergrowth, following spots of blood on the leaves. Finally she got to a small clearing, big enough for one person to occupy. Jess crouched down, not wanting to miss any spot of the clearing. Her torch swept over something, but Jess didn't comprehend it until she focused on it again. She nearly dropped her torch in her haste to get her jacket off.
"Beth, get an ambulance now!" Jess shouted, wrapping the small bundle in her jacket. But it wasn't warm enough, so she pulled off her stab proof vest and undid her shirt, holding the still baby tight against her skin before covering it with her shirt, vest and jacket.
"What? Is someone hurt?" Beth asked, hurrying to where Jess was knelt on the floor.
"It's a baby Beth." Jess said, looking up at her friend. Jess gently looked down at the baby, at the closed eyes and the non moving chest. Silence. She shook her head, "He's dead."
"Oh my God. I'll call Eddie and CID." Beth said soberly. Jess just nodded, getting to her feet with the baby still tucked in her shirt against her skin, the baby cool against her warmth. It was evident that the baby had only just been born; he was still wet and the cord wasn't dry. Maybe he was a stillborn, she didn't know, but she did know that the mother was missing, and she could be in a bad way.
Jess was sitting hunched over a desk, filling in the paperwork. Her and Beth had just rung around all the local hospitals, seeing if a woman had been admitted showing signs of recently giving birth. But there had been none so far. So now they had to wait for Eddie to get DNA from the hospital for the baby, and see if he could get anything from Jess' shirt, and then run that through the system. They may not be able to get much from the baby, but it was the only chance they had to find the mother.
"Jess?" Beth called from the door. Jess raised her head. "Eddie wants to see us."
"Ok, has he got the DNA from the baby?" Jess asked, following Beth up the stairs to where Eddie's lab was.
"I don't know, he just said he found something he'd been interested in." Beth said, opening the door to the lab.
"Evening ladies, and what a fine evening it is. What can I do for you?" he asked, looking up from his microscope.
"Eddie, you asked us to come up here. You said you found something interesting?" Beth said, jogging Eddie's memory.
"Oh yeah, of course. It's just when I have two gorgeous ladies in my lab, everything else goes out of my head." Eddie said with a grin.
"Eddie please! A baby has just died!" Jess scolded. She wasn't in the mood for him tonight.
"Alright, keep your knickers on. When the baby went to the hospital and they attempted to resus, as they checked the airway they pulled some fibres from the baby's mouth." Eddie explained, his game face on.
"Was he suffocated? Do we know what by?" Beth asked, moving closer.
"Hold on, I was about to get to that. The samples that the hospital gave us were traces of a natural fibre. So the baby was born alive and took at least one breath before being suffocated. A piece of the material used to suffocate him then stuck in his throat. That's what I'm currently looking at." Eddie said, bringing up a picture on his screen on the fibre magnified.
"Any idea what the material is?" Jess asked.
"Cotton." Eddie answered.
"Ok, can that help us in any way?" Jess asked.
"Well it's got traces of DNA on it, plus the blood on the baby's body itself has led to enough blood being taken to run through the system. I've sent it off and prioritised it, so it should be back soon." Eddie said with a smile. "Also, I don't know if you noticed, but the baby was born with Down's syndrome."
"I thought he might have been, but I wasn't sure." Jess replied.
"Would the mother have killed him because of that?" Beth asked, shocked.
"Who knows." Eddie replied with a shrug.
Although he got on Jess' nerves, he did provide results, "Thanks Eddie."
"My pleasure." he replied with a leery grin.
A few hours later, Jess and Beth were sitting in the canteen with Will when Eddie walked over to them.
"Ladies." Eddie said with a nod; Will just rolled his eyes.
"What have you got for us?" Beth asked, turning to face him.
"I have the DNA for you, you can run it through the computers now, see if anyone comes up as a match. And the cotton comes from a pair of pyjamas." Eddie said smugly.
"Pyjamas? How do you know that?" Jess asked, impressed by the CSE's skills.
"Ah, if I told you that I'd have to kill you." he said, lowering himself into a seat.
"Well thanks Eddie, I guess we should go run these through the system." Jess said, getting up and walking down the halls to find a computer that was free. She finally found one and slid into the seat, leaning back while the program loaded up. She inputted the data and waited for the results to hopefully present themselves. Beth took a seat next to her, and was silent for a moment until a question suddenly burst out of her.
"Jess? Can I ask you something?" Beth asked quietly.
"You just did, but sure, what is it?" Jess asked with a laugh.
"Does giving birth hurt?" she asked.
Jess raised her eyebrows, she hadn't expected that. She let her mind wander back to when she was giving birth to Luke. She had never experienced pain like it. It felt like her womb was being cleaved in half, and then acid was added to it. It felt like her body was trying to turn itself inside out to get away from the pain. It felt like she could die from the intensity of it all. But then she held her son in her arms for the first time, and it was like the pain had never happened. "It hurts like hell, and it feels like you're gonna die. But then you hold your baby for the first time, and all the pain disappears, leaving exhilaration and love for this new baby that you created. Why do you ask? You're not pregnant are you?"
"Oh god no, no nothing like that. I just wonder...why would she bother going through all that pain if she was going to kill her baby anyway?" Beth questioned.
"Maybe she didn't know the baby had downs syndrome, so when he was born she knew she wouldn't be able to cope. Maybe she didn't know she was pregnant in the first place. I really don't know. And we won't know until we find her." Jess replied, hoping that they found the mystery women in time. Jess turned back to the screen, smiling as a match popped up. "Here we go, look."
Beth and Jess looked at the woman on the screen. The mug shot was from six years ago when she had been arrested for theft. Her name was Allie Birt, and she would be twenty nine now. She had black hair which surrounded her face in wild curls, and small brown eyes accentuated by long lashes. Her latest address was listed, and Jess quickly printed the details out.
"Let's go find her." Beth said, running out to the car.
It was just after four in the morning when they arrived at Allie's address. The front garden was in a state, and as they approached the door they could see it was slightly ajar. There were traces of blood on the floor, leading into the house. Jess slowly pushed the door open, following the blood into the living room. There were three children asleep on a dirty mattress in the middle of the floor, and on the sofa by them was Allie, and she was in a bad way.
"Beth, call an ambulance." Jess directed. She knelt by Allie, checking for a pulse. She found one, but it was extremely weak. There was a pool of blood beneath Allie, and her skin was white and clammy.
"What are we going to do with the children?" Beth asked, coming to stand next to Jess.
"Take them to the hospital. You go with Allie in the ambulance, I'll follow with the children." Jess offered. Beth nodded, and they waited while the paramedics took their time checking Allie over and carting her off in the ambulance.
"I'll meet you down there. I'll inform CID that we found her." Beth said, following the paramedics into the ambulance.
"Ok, see you there." Jess said, turning back to the mattress. "Hey little ladies, time to wake up!"
The three girls stirred, the youngest waking first. She sat up, rubbing her eyes, and regarded Jess with suspicion. "Who are you?"
"My name is Jess, I'm a police officer. We had to take your mummy to hospital because she's a bit poorly. I'm going to take you to the hospital to see your mummy, but you have to wake up and come into my police car with me. How does that sound?" Jess asked.
"Cool! We haven't been in a police car before!" the oldest said, shaking awake the middle girl.
"Let's go then. Get some shoes on and coats, and then we can go." Jess said, smiling as the sisters scrambled around for some clothes.
Jo and Stevie walked onto the maternity ward, to the main desk.
"Hi, I'm DS Moss, this is DC Masters. We'd like to talk to Allie Birt, she was just brought in?" Stevie asked politely, flashing the woman her badge.
"If you'd like to follow me. She's only just come round, so please be gentle with her." the midwife said sternly.
"Thank you." Jo said, following the midwife into a small room. "Hi, you must be Allie. I'm DC Masters, this is DS Moss. How're you feeling?"
"Like absolute hell. Where's my girls?" Allie asked, sitting herself up, wincing at the pain.
"They're with two of our officers, they're fine. We'd like to ask you some questions, if that's ok?" Stevie asked, taking a seat next to the bed.
"Is it about Johnny?" Allie asked.
"Johnny?" Jo asked.
"My son." Allie explained.
"Johnny, you just gave birth to him didn't you?" Stevie asked softly.
Allie bit her lip before nodding, "He was premature. I was trying to get to the hospital, I had no money for a cab, so I had to walk. I told the girls to stay at home, that I had to quickly go out. Their dad was due home from work soon, I thought they would be ok. I was walking through the park and I knew that I wouldn't get to the hospital in time. I didn't know what to do."
"It's ok Allie, you're doing really well." Jo said gently, nodding at the scared woman.
"Before I knew it, I was pushing. And then there he was, on the leaves, all floppy. He wasn't breathing. I panicked, I picked him up and tried to keep him warm, I cuddled him but he wasn't moving or crying or anything. I just left him there out in the cold. I came home, and then I don't remember anything." Allie said, clutching the sheets.
"He was stillborn? Is that what you're saying?" Stevie confirmed.
Allie nodded, a tear splashing on the sheets.
"Ok Allie, we're just going outside. We'll be back in a minute." Jo said with a smile. As soon as her and Stevie were outside and the door was shut, Jess and Beth came up to them.
"How is she?" Beth asked.
"She's fine, a bit shaken up, but ok." Stevie answered.
"What has she said?" Jess asked.
"She said the baby was premature, that she was trying to get to the hospital. She said the baby was born stillborn." Jo said, looking at the two uniformed officers.
"That baby was alive when he was born, I bet she didn't even realise. We need the clothes she was wearing as evidence. That might be what she used." Jess said quickly.
"Jess, we don't know that she smothered him." Stevie said sternly.
"Well whatever she did, she left that baby in the park, alone and cold." Jess said, not knowing how a woman could do that to her child.
"You need to calm down otherwise I'm pulling you off the case. Do not make this personal." Stevie warned.
Jess took control of herself, "Sorry Sarge."
"Right, ok. We're going to tell her that we know her son was breathing when he was born, see what she says." Stevie said, turning to go into the room.
As she opened the door, Allie yelled out, "What woman was saying I killed my son?"
Jo and Stevie looked at Jess, "It was me."
"How dare you. I didn't kill him! I wouldn't!" Allie said, defending herself.
Jess stepped into the room and stood at the end of Allie's bed, "Well how do you explain that your son died from suffocation? He wasn't stillborn, he was breathing when he was born. Traces of cotton were found at the back of your son's throat. How did they get there?" Jess asked, not hiding her disbelief at the woman in front of her, thoughts of her miscarriage and Luke fresh in her mind.
"I wanna complain about her. She's saying I murdered my son!" Allie shouted, signalling at Stevie and Jo.
"Ok Allie, but what PC Hunter is saying is true I'm afraid." Jo confirmed.
"No no, you're all lying! I never did that to him, never!" Allie shouted. At that point the midwife came in, shooing all the officers out.
"Jess, I'm pulling you off the case." Stevie said.
"What? Why!" Jess exclaimed.
"This is too close to you after recent events. It's not because of what you said to her, because that was true, but what's happened to you is clouding your judgement." Stevie said gently.
"No it's not, I'm fine, honestly." Jess pleaded.
"No, that's it. Go back to the station. I'll keep you updated." Stevie said, dismissing her.
Jess looked at Stevie one last time before walking out the hospital.
Jess slammed the door to the female changing rooms. She was furious, not at Stevie, but at Allie. How could she do that to her own child? And what was worse was her denial of it, the fact that she was lying to get herself out of trouble. If it was an accident, why wouldn't she have called someone, at least kept the baby warm with her. All Jess could see was thr baby's still face, perfectly formed. All she could feel was the coolness of his body. It made her think if Luke, cold and still and alone in the Earth.
She could feel the panic attack building, tried to get a hold of it to stop it spiralling out of control. She shoved her locker shut, swearing when it ricocheted back open. She pushed it until it finally shut, and then she hit it. She punched it so hard that a small indent was left on it. She took a few calming breaths, admonishing herself for losing control like that, feeling the panic attack ease. She had just readjusted her neck tie when there was a knock at the door.
"Yeah?" she called, hoping that she looked ok now.
Callum's head popped around the door, "You ok?"
"What are you doing here? I thought you weren't on tonight?" Jess asked, avoiding the question.
Callum stepped into the changing room, handing Jess a coffee, "I'm covering sickness, picked the shift up last minute. I'm going to ask you again. Are you ok?"
"Why wouldn't I be." she snapped, then regretted it as Callum's face fell, "Sarge, I'm sorry."
"What happened? Stevie just rang me." Callum asked, leaning against the wall.
"I lost control. We found a baby, dead and cold in the park. The mum, she potentially killed her baby but she denied it. I just got so angry. She heard me talking to Stevie and Jo about it, and then she challenged me. So I told her the truth, and what evidence we had so far." Jess answered, moving to sit on one of the benches. Callum noted the indent on her locker door.
"What happened there?" he asked, signalling the indent.
"I punched it." Jess replied, her voice muffled.
"I know that we all think that Miss Birt could have killed her baby, but you can't go around saying those things. We need to get more evidence and build the case properly, you know that. She still wants to complain about you. Jo is trying really hard to get her to change her mind." Callum said quietly, coming to sit near Jess.
"You can't say that to me Sarge, not after what you said to that man a few weeks ago." Jess said, referring to a man that Callum had driven home, giving him some choice words which led to him deliberately crashing his car and nearly killing himself.
Callum recoiled as if he had been slapped, but then he sighed, "I suppose I deserved that. You're right, I can't say that to you, otherwise I'd be a hypocrite. But seriously, you have to keep in control."
"I know, and normally I can, I don't know why I snapped with her." Jess said, raising her face to look at Callum.
"Yes you do know." Callum said softly. Jess slowly looked up at him, not saying anything, "Jess." Callum said quietly.
Jess stared at him, not wanting to break down in front of him yet again. She felt her resolve slowly crumble, her attitude with it, "Oh God! It just made me so angry! She has three beautiful girls,and she could have had another son. But she potentially killed her son, and she kept her daughters in such bad conditions. I mean, why does she deserve children when mine get taken from me? It's not fair!" Jess cried, and then felt terrible about thinking that about another person. She didn't know what Allie's circumstances were; who was she to judge.
Callum walked across the locker room until he was next to her on the bench, his arm around Jess' shaking shoulders, "I know it's not fair, I know."
"I don't want to be like this anymore! I just want to forget it and move on." Jess whispered.
"No you don't want to forget. Cause then you'd forget Luke. You're strong Jess, but you need to persevere, accept help every now and then." Callum said, kissing the top of her head. They stood up, facing each other. Jess moved in to embrace Callum, Callum surrounding Jess with his body. She fit perfectly with him, like puzzle pieces. His strong arms encircled her back, stopping her trembles. His hands ran up and down her back, calming her down. When her trembling had stopped, she moved away from him. "Look at your hand." he said, seeing her red swollen knuckles.
Jess glanced down at her hand, which was starting to throb from punching her locker. "It's ok, I just needs some ice and ibuprofen." she mumbled. Callum took her hand carefully in his own, pressing the sore knuckles against his lips.