"Lucy stop running around and have your breakfast" Fi said "somethings itching my back" I said and tried to grab it. "Just stop, it's probably just a tag" she said and grabbed the back of my top. "Go eat, I'll find some scissors" she said. I squirmed in my seat as Fi rummaged through a drawer. "Jesus, guys you're going to be late" she said. Debbie and Carl got up from the table. "You need to cut the tag" I told her. "I know Lucy" fi said. She came over and pulled the back of my top down then cut the tag. "There, now go" Fi said. "It's still itchy" I complained "it will settle, go you can't be late for school again" Fi grabbed my lunch, bag and coat and pushed me out the door.
It was driving me mad, the itch had just gotten worse, and the teacher wouldn't listen. I pulled my top and singlet off. The teacher stopped speaking, "Lucy what do you think you are doing? Put your top back on now. You can't get undressed in class. It's not appropriate" she said. "I need to cut the tag off, where are the scissors?" I asked and got out of my chair. "Not much to look at" Jason said. "Just like a Gallagher, they will undress anywhere" Greg said. "What does that mean?" I asked him. "Your sisters a slut" he spat out. "What?" I said and walked right up to him. I desperately wanted to punch him but knew I would get into too much trouble for starting a fight again. "Are you sure you aren't confusing her with your mom?" I said. Greg's face went bright red, I was too busy watching it to notice he was getting ready to punch without even standing up. His fist hit my stomach and knocked the wind out of me. By the time I recovered he was already on his feet. I moved as quick as I could and swung my fist at his face, it hit him in the jaw and knocked him back a few steps. He charged me and pushed me to the ground then swung at my face. He got my nose. I twisted and managed to get my knee up while deflecting his other punches. I kneed him as hard as I could in the groin. He flopped to the side. I went to crawl on top of him but someone grabbed me.
Fiona stormed up the corridor, she saw me and just shook her head. "Really?" She said, then sat next to me, grabbed my chin and checked out my nose and bruises Greg had given me. "Look at you!" She said. Greg and his dad came out of the principles office. "Wow, two Gallagher girls actually got their tops on" Greg said and smirked at us. His dad heard but didn't do anything. I tried to rush him again but Fiona stopped me "what the fuck did he say?" She said to Greg's dad. "I didn't hear anything" his dad said but smirked "Lucy Gallagher" the principal Mr Munroe said from his doorway. Fiona checked herself then led me into the principal office. "Suspended for the rest of the week, someone will drop around all the homework Lucy needs to do while not in school. You know the drill by now" Mr Monroe said and shook his head then handed Fiona a piece of paper and opened the door for us.
"Can I practice my violin?" I asked Fi as we walked inside. "Just for a bit then you need to do your homework. V is going to be here in an hour. I've got to go back to work. Do not leave the house, if you're not here when V gets here you will be in big trouble. Do you hear me?" Fi said. "Yes!" I sighed.
"Didn't Fiona tell you to stop electrocuting dolls?" Debbie said as I came down the stairs. Carl had set up a battery and attached it to a doll. "What are you doing up so early?" Debbie asked me. "Loud music" I said and sat at the table. "Again?" Debbie asked and sighed. I watched Carl as he prepared to shock the doll. "Can I have a smoothie?" I asked Debbie. She put more fruit in the blender and went to switch it on but it didn't start. "Carl!" Fiona yelled from upstairs. "I didn't do it!" Carl yelled out. Debbie and I went to the window and looked into the backyard. We could just make out someone at the pole. "It's Hector!" Debbie yelled out. There was a lot of noise and Fiona came rushing down the stairs. We followed her outside. "Hector!" she yelled. "Hey, Hector. Is there any way you could…" she started "I can't this time Fiona, it's the third red notice in 12 months. I'm sorry" Hector said. "Not the first time we got shut off won't be the last" Debbie said. "No! What am I going to do all day!" I whined. "Is there any way you can scape the money together today?" Hector asked "we have it, she just forgot to pay it" Debbie said. "I took an extra shift yesterday and I just spaced it" Fi explained "call my cell when you pay, I'll swing back, end of the day" Hector said and gave Fiona a notice. "Thanks, Hector. Are you going to the twins party on the weekend?" I asked him, "you bet, Abu is already cooking for it" he said. "Yum" I said. He held out his fist for to bump, which I did. Fi grabbed my shoulder and lead me back inside.
"Ok kids get to work, Ian and Lucy get the ice cooler. We need to get everything out of the fridge" Fiona said. We went to the basement then struggled with it back up the stairs. There was a knock on the door. "Debbie, get that" fi ordered. "Ok put it here, Ian empty the fridge. Lucy have breakfast". Debbie ran off but quickly came back "who was at the door?" Fi asked her. "Warren for Lip" Debbie said and sat on a stool. "Don't worry about the ketchup and stuff, just the milk and meat so it won't spoil" Fi told Ian. Steve came down the stairs "at least enough hot water left for 1 hot shower" he said. "Me!" I said "no, me. You eat your breakfast" fi said. I sat back down in my seat and ate my cereal "did Carl blow up the neighbourhood again" Steve asked "no, I forgot to pay the bill" Fi said. "Hey, happens to the best of us" Steve said but it was obvious Fi was upset and about to lose it. "Not to me, ok? I'm not like this" she said and moved away from Steve. "Like what?" He asked. "Distracted" "yeah, by what?" "Well, you're the only new thing in the mix" "wait, am I actually distracting Fiona Gallagher? Really?" Fiona wasn't impressed, she went to grab the coffee then got upset when she realised there was none. Steve grabbed the jug off her "hey, I will make a coffee ran after I finish, ok?" "Fine, it's just time for school. Lip, feet on the floor!" Fiona yelled.
Fiona grabbed Liam from the highchair "and time for a diaper change, Lucy?" She said "what no way!" I said "that's what happens when you get suspended" Fi said. Debbie laughed. "I can't lift his legs up anymore" I said "hey, let me help" Steve said. "Ok, it's a doosy though" Fi went to pass Liam over to him. "Power bill" Steve said and held up some money. "Come on I'm almost living here" "no, you're not. Lip gave me enough to pay for it yesterday. I picked up an extra shift at the motel and forgot to walk it to the payment center" "four hundred and thirty bucks? Lips flush this month" steve said "it's SAT season" Fiona said "he's always flush during SAT season" Debbie said "Karen raised the fee too" I added "smart girl" fi said "SAT?" Steve asked "college tests" Ian explained "he tutors?" Steve asked "uh, no, takes" lip said as he walked into the kitchen. "Lucy, Liam" Fi said. I sighed and went and took him. "Fuck, this is going to be awful" I said "language" Fiona warned.
Everyone walked past me on their way out the door to school. "This is from last Friday, it's Wednesday, Carl!" Fi yelled at Carl as she read a note. "What did he do?" Steve asked "nothing" fi said "yeah right" I scoffed. "I'm not the one suspended" Carl said and swung the bat at me "hey, bat stays here" Fi said and grabbed it off him. I nearly had the poop of Liam's bum but he was starting to squirm. "Liam stop" I told him. He giggled "lu!" He said. "Why do we keep having this conversation" fi said, I assumed to Steve. "Because you never take the money" "because I don't need it. Don't you have someplace to be?" Fi shoved his coat in his arms "bye Steve" I yelled out. Liam wiggled away from me, I crawled after him. "You better catch him before he wets everywhere" Fi said and sat down to read carls note. I followed Liam into the kitchen, he went under the table. "Who forgot what?" Fi said. "Frank forgot to pay" I heard a man say. It didn't sound good, I stayed quiet. "Get the fuck out of my house" Fi said. "You should deadbolt your door. Dangerous neighbourhood" the guy said "Frank doesn't live here anymore" The guy mumbled, I couldn't make out what he was staying. I grabbed some candy from my dressing gown and gave it to Liam to keep him quiet, he happily grabbed it and shoved it in his mouth. The guys stopped talking and I heard the door close. I pulled Liam out from under the table. Fiona came into the kitchen and knelt down beside me, she was breathing heavily. I just looked at her. She sighed and rested her head on my shoulder. "What has he done now?" I asked. She sad laughed. "Go get dressed and we will go ask him"
Fiona stomped through the door to the alibi, I struggled with Liam and the stroller but managed to get in before the door closed. Frank was sitting at the bar smoking and drinking. "Jesus, Frank, two aresholes busted into our house looking for you and some car" Fiona yelled at him. Frank jumped up from his stool "they follow you here?" He asked "where is it?" "I was invited to participate in a business venture" "what did you do with the money?" "That's just it, I wasn't given money up front. I was simply promised that money would be shared with me once an insurance claim had been settled. Has that promise been delivered upon? No. No it has not" "I warned you Frank" Kev said. "You knew about this and didn't tell me?" Fiona said to Kev "fi I don't have time to call you every time Frank has a bad idea" Kev said. "I'll talk to them" Frank said "and say what? Sorry I forgot to light the car on fire" Kev told him "Really? That's the best bit" I said. Everyone looked at me for a second then went back to taking. "I was not doing the igniting. I was just doing the park in a remote location. Unfortunately I had to make a pit stop and when I got back the car was gone" Frank said. "Wait that car?" I said Frank stared at me "great, that's just great. You're gonna take care of this now" fi said "could go to jersey stay with your great uncle…" Frank said "no you're staying here. You're gonna take care of this car because you're also going to be here to take care of carl. He needs you to show up at parents night to discuss behavioural problems" Fiona showed him the letter from the school. "They sound like solutions, not problems" Frank said "the school disagrees" "he's a boy, this is what boys do. When I was growing up Joe Palazzo bit off a kids finger" Frank said "that's got to be bullshit" Kev said, I nodded. "Sister irmalita picked up the nub and wrapped it in Kleenex. She always kept her snot rag stuffed in her sleeve." "They're threatening to expel him" Fi said "well, go talk them out of it" "they want a parent, a real parent" "well I guess your off the hook then Frank" Kev joked, a few of the guys laughed. "I have never been threatened by teachers and I am not going to start now. I am fed up with these pan-gender hermaphrodites" I sighed and lent against the bar. "Who hate the human beings are a species with two distinct genders. It's like they've declared war on testicles. They wanna remove all masculinity from the schools, fill the world with yoghurt eaters" "don't listen Liam, it will rot your brain" I whispered to him. Kev must have heard as he chuckled. "Well do your research. We're all descendants of barbarians and the sooner we face it the sooner we'll have a civilisation worth celebrating" "is he done yet?" I asked. "So, hell no, I won't go. Because no one scares Frank Gallagher". I heard the door open behind me and Frank ran off. Fiona went and sat at the bar. I leaned up against her and played with Liam in his stroller. "Can you pretend to be Frank tonight?" Fi asked Kev. "Sorry Fi, I'm working. Say you had him? You could pass for … nah that's not going to work. How about Kenny?" Kev said. I laughed "I'm trying to keep Carl out of a foster home, not give them a reason to put him in one" fi said. "Frank will show up for Carl" Kev said. I laughed again, Fi sighed "I know you think he won't but deep down, I think Frank is capable of doing the right thing" Kev said.
I sighed again as we waited in line "this is so boring!" I said. Fiona just looked at me. Her phone rang and she answered it. "Sorry I threw you out this morning" she said. I sighed loudly again. I made eye contact with someone in the next line, I had been trying for ages but no one would look at me. I smirked and starting pulling faces. The guy quickly looked away again but couldn't help a quick glance back. I stuck my fingers up at him, he looked shocked. "Such a rude child!" Some old bat said. Fiona noticed what I was doing and quickly pulled me around to her other side "I am so sorry about that" she said "Lucy" she growled at me. "Freddie's dad was saying there's people that do research on flies. You know they land on poo then they fly all over us and on our food too carrying poo particles everywhere. They did a study on the flies near sewage plants. I bet that fly there is covered in human poo" I said really loudly. A few people looked around frantically. "Lucy! Please" Fiona said. "It's just a fact" I said "please" Fi begged. I sighed and wrapped my arm around her leg "fine" I said as I leaned against her. She wrapped an arm around my shoulder "thank you" she whispered.
I was on stroller duty again as we headed into school. Carls teacher, Mrs Develin, greeted us. "I appreciate you seeing me" Fiona said "your carls mother?" "Ah, no, sister" "legal guardian?" "Formally, no" "Mr. Munoe" she said to the principle who was behind the bench. "Where's the paper mache?" he asked. "Oh, great you brought Lucy" he said when he saw me "afternoon Mr Munroe" I said. "The kids have been making papier-mâché sculptures about what they love about themselves. This is Carls" Ms Develin pulled out a paper mache of a huge pile of shit from under the bench. "Oh, he is exaggerating, he doesn't poop that big" I said. Fiona reached behind herself and tried to slap me but I was too far away "they both have a very developed sense of humour" fi said. "We are not laughing. Carls future is speaking to us through art" Mrs Develin said "nah, that's his past and a lie" I said. "A dark future" ms Develin said as she stared at me. '"Filled with what, even to the untrained eye, is a budding psychosis" she continued, Fiona tried to say something but Mr Munroe interrupted her "we need to speak to his father or his mother" "well they are out of town" Fi said. "I need a parent, not a sister. I've had what seems to be 15 of you goddamn Gallaghers at this school and I have never once met a parent. Not once. Who in the hell is raising these degenerates?" Mr Monroe said. "Oh please, that applies to most of the kids here. We are poor, our parents work all the time, just like every other family here and you have never cared before" I said. "Lucy" Fi said. "Come back tonight with a parent or a call will be placed to a place you don't want me to call" he said "really? Because that turned out so well the last time you did that. I hear he is out of icu now" I yelled. Mr Monroe shook his head. "What are you talking about?" Mrs Develin asked "she doesn't know? dcfs was called because a family with a couple of kids that go to this school were living on the street. Welfare concerns. The oldest ended up in a bad foster home, they beat the shit out of him. Been in hospital for two weeks now" I said "enough Lucy, that was not our fault" Mr Monroe said. "You called them" I said looking straight at Ms Develin. She looked shocked. Fi grabbed my hand and the stroller and we quickly left. "Jesus, who is that bitch!" Fi said. "New teacher thinks she knows better then everyone and is trying to fix us all or some shit. She has no idea" I said. "Are you doing something about it?" Fi asked "we're working on it, but she's determined, for now" I said.
We waited out the front of the high school for Lip. "Hey sorry I'm late" Lip said as he ran up the stairs "that's ok, I brought you a shirt. Now listen up, we are gonna stand united and show them we are a family that is thriving. You got it?" "Yep" Debbie said. 'Let go!" Fi said and went inside. Debbie eagerly followed. Lip had to turn Carl and me around and push us to move. We had to wait in the hallway while Fiona and Lip talked to the teachers. I high fived everyone that walked past, a few parents stopped to talk as well. Debbie and Carl sat a bit further down from me, Carl was poking Debbie. "Lucy!" Cindy yelled at the top of her voice and came running up to me "hey girl!" I said to her and let her hug me "nana!" She yelled back to her grandma who was rushing to keep up with her. I noticed the teachers, Fiona and Lip looking at me through the door. Cindy pointed to Carl too "Carl!" She said smiling. "It's so nice to finally meet you both! Cindy said you make sure no one is mean to her. It's so hard for her here" Cindys grandma said. I shrugged "we look after the people that are nice to us" I said. Cindy must have seen someone else she knew as she took off. "Oh, we are off!" Her grandma said. "Haven't we met her before?" Carl asked "yeah, nana forgets some things" I said. Steve hurried past us. "Hey kids" he said with a wave.
"What the hell did you do?" Fi asked Steve with a huge smile on her face. I jumped on Lips back for a piggyback ride, he obliged. "I saw an opening and I took it then Got lucky" Steve said "daddy!" Debbie yelled out. I scanned the crowd, surprisingly Frank was at the other end of the corridor, Karen was next to him. Lip let go of my legs and I slid down to the ground. "Debbie, we got to go" Fi said "I wanna say hi to Daddy" Debbie said. I stared at Frank, "what an arsehole" I said. "Shh, not here" Fi whispered "don't say that" Debbie said "daddy, hi!" She yelled out. "Hello, pumpkin" Frank said. I grabbed Fis hand. "Karen what's going on?" Lip asked "well you said you never come to these so I thought you weren't gonna come and so I asked Frank to stand in for my worthless father" Karen said "did they expel Carl?" Frank asked. No one said anything. "What did I tell you? Drama and threats, all for naught" Frank chuckled. Fiona squeezed my hand. Even Debbie looked disappointed and sad. "Come on guys, lets go" fi said. I grabbed Lips hand too.
Fiona made Carl sit on the table, we all sat on the couch in front of him. "Carl, we're serious. The stakes are really, really high. We love you and we need you in this family, in this house. You need to stop biting and punching and hurting people" Fiona said as she held Carls hand "well, how else do I make them cry?" Carl asked "gossip and slander" lip said. "You know, when I get really angry I usually just count to 10" Steve said from the armchair. I looked at him and shook my head "pussy" I said. Lip chuckled. "Beat them up outside of school" I told Carl. "No! No beating anyone up" Fi said "I only do it if they deserve it" I said. "Hey little man I'll tell you what we are going to do, we're gonna get you some pads and skates, get you on the ice. You can take your frustrations out with a hockey stick" lip said. "You can come to karate with me, remember when I broke Kyles leg? Took three pins to put it back together" Ian said. "You can't beat karate when it comes to regulated sanctioned violence for children" Debbie said. "We can smash up stuff people leave outside, there a tv a few blocks away. We have been chucking rocks at it for ages and the screen still hasn't broken" I said. "Lucy, I think we need to have this talk with you next" Lip said. "If you stop beating the shit out of everyone then you might make friends, there's heaps of cool stuff you can do with friends. But you can't make friends if you're mean to everyone Carl" I said. "That's a tad better" Ian said. "Let's get you out of here before you ruin it" Lip said and grabbed me, he lifted me up and hauled me into the kitchen. I started laughing and tried to get away from him.
There was a knock on the door, Ian, Carl and I ignored it. Debbie eventually got up and answered, a guy followed her back inside. "Tire" lip yelled out "Lip my man" tire said as he walked over to Lip. "They invalidated my scores!" He said, "I was going to call you" lip said, "I'm going to get like a 6 on this test" tire said, "get at least a couple of hundred for spelling your name correctly" Lip said as he dodged Tire. Tire lunged at him again. "Shit, wait. I can fix this, all right?" Lip tried but Tire chased him up the stairs yelling something about college. There was a lot of grunting and loud thuds from upstairs. We ran up to see what was happening. Tire had Lip hanging out the window, Ian tried to stop him but it didn't work. Carl ran past me and Debbie with the bat. "Let him go!" Carl yelled. "He's got a bat!" I yelled. "Get my brother back in the house or the kid swings the bat" Ian said and Carl put the bat over his shoulder. "Ok, ok" tire said and pulled Lip back in. "What the hell is going on?" Fiona asked as she and Steve rushed in. "Carls got it covered" Ian said. Lip was pulled back through the window and pushed his way past tire to us. "I was just joking, ok?" Tire said. Carl still swung the bat and hit him in the knee, Tire folded to the ground. Everyone grasped then Lip and Ian grabbed Carl and started celebrating. Fiona ran her hands through her hair looking worried while Steve went over to Tire and got him to his feet. The boys and Debbie went down the stairs while Tire hoppled down the other stairs. I shrugged "yay! Carl" I yelled and ran after the others.
I was nearly asleep when I heard my name whispered, I opened my eyes to see Fiona sitting next to me bed. "Who was that girl yelling?" She asked "Cindy, she has Down syndrome. She's nice" "she loved you, and Carl was nice to her?" "I told him he has to be, she can't help that she's retarded and she's not mean so we shouldn't be mean to her" "and he listened?" "Yeah, and I give him money for looking out for her" Fiona chuckled.