"Legionnaires, charge!" Came the distant cry of the captain.
"Death to the rebels! Glory to the Empire!" Her soldiers answered.
Joffrey wandered aimlessly and without direction. Someone had hit him on the head with a sword pommel-he, the Lord of the Seven Kingdoms. No doubt the Starks used some dark magic to get him to this strange place. But he would have his revenge on them, as soon as he found a means to return to his throne...
The sound of hooves hitting the forest floor came up from behind him. "Halt!"
It was the wicked woman again! One of the idiotic lords of this realm had appointed a damn woman captain and commander of men!? It was completely ridiculous, and the whore had dared to try to stop him.
"I told you to halt, boy!" She shouted again.
"Silence wench!" He turned back and drew his sword, leveling it at the mounted woman. "You are, all of you beneath me! I am a King! And I will not have you…"
Joffrey lost hold of his sword as the woman swatted it away, before dismounting.
"Won't you be silent?!" The woman shouted at him. "You are now under imperial custody, for suspicion of supporting rebellion against the Empire."
"You have no right to speak to me that way!" Joffrey screamed. "I will have you killed! I will have you all killed. Once I take back my throne, I will have you beaten and raped. I will have your lord and men strung up by their entrails…"
And suddenly Joffrey couldn't speak anymore as the captain held him by his jaw. He screamed when her hands gripped his jaw so hard they drew blood.
"Unhand me!" He shrieked.
He whimpered, fought against her punishing grip, and continued flailing at her armor. Then, with one hand, she extracted his tongue while drawing a dagger with the other. Joffrey shouted and wept all the way till the woman severed most of his tongue and everything went black before he could scream any more.
Sandor II
Sandor was starting to think that it wasn't that old bastard Barristan who was killing all of these men across the city.
"Arrows shot through their hearts, Ser." Jacelyn Bywater pointed at the hanging bodies. "They were long dead before they were brought here to be hung."
"I am no fucking knight," Sandor growled at the man. There were so many fuckers calling him 'Ser this' or 'Ser that', just because he now had a white fucking cloak.
Sandor pushed the foot of a man who had been a captain of the City Watch. "I knew this one, fucker was always following Slynt around and snickering about."
"He was Slynt's man," Bywater nodded. "He did not report at his post since the day Slynt was killed."
Sandor looked at the Ironhand. "This body doesn't look a day old, much less a sennight. Where the fuck has he been for the last days?!"
"The riots," Bywater shook his head in disgust. "The mobs formed just after Slynt and Master Baelish's deaths. I suspect that the good captain had something to do with those riots."
Sandor snorted. "Of course he did."
That's what the City Watch was. Jon Arryn would replace and dismiss captains and commanders for years, but no one he chose was ever up to the duty. Either they leave after a few months, or they become like Slynt, completely corrupt and lawless, eager to do almost anything for the next bribe or political favor. Jon Arryn eventually gave up on the thing.
Sandor looked at Bywater. "I wonder why they haven't killed you yet?"
"…w-what?" Bywater stammered.
"These killings," Sandor motioned to the corpses. "They've been hanging Watchmen and Captains for days now. I wonder why they haven't gutted you yet."
Bywater did not have an answer for that.
Sandor shook his head, and turned to the other hanged men. "Who the fuck are these two?"
"Merchants, I think." Bywater shrugged. "They were some of the richest men in the city, Lord Baelish's men."
"…rich."Came a raspy voice from behind them. "Thieving…embezzling…corrupt."
Bywater went to a knee, head bowed deeply. "Your grace."
There were some fifty men-at-arms, in Baratheon livery, marching up to them. At their head stood theking,who himself wore a plate harness and mail engraved with rearing stags.
And not a lion to be seen,Sandor thought amusedly.
Over the last few days, Joffrey appeared to desire to abandon the latter portion of his styling as 'of House Baratheon and Lannister'. The Queen had swiftly discharged Robert's men-at-arms, at least those who had not fled the city with Renly, upon the king's death. The majority of the household knights (who owned their own weaponry and armor) departed the city to seek work elsewhere. However, the men-at-arms, who were not as affluent, were deprived of all the armaments granted to them by the king and quickly became penniless.
At least until Joffrey formed his own household troops and restored many of the old king's men to his service.
"Stand…"Came the sickly tone, and Bywater quickly obeyed.
"Commander."Joffrey nodded to Bywater, whom he had raised to lead the City Watch only a day prior. The Queen had appointed Lancel Lannister to the post in the days after Slynt's death. But the King had overruled his own Small Council and instead picked Bywater for the post.
It was still strange to see Joffrey like this, as the boy changed dramatically ever since the day he had ordered Eddard Stark's death. The King had had a few seizures and was spelled with shaking fits every morning he woke since then. The Queen Mother had gone half mad over the boy's sickness, even threatening to have Pycelle killed when all the Grandmaester did was ask the king to remain bedridden.
Something Sandor expected the boy to take advantage of and be pampered all day by his mother and the court, like all the other times Joffrey had either been sick or feigning it.
Instead, Joffrey grew more active in the days following the onset of his illness than in all of the days Sandor had previously spent with him. The King began issuing commands and edicts under his own name, without consulting his council. Sandor frequently followed the kid as he rode across the city, visiting with Headmen and Magistrates, as well as City Watch Captains. Or some other nameless fucks that the boy wanted to talk to for reasons Sandor couldn't comprehend with all the wisdom of the Conciliator.
"There have been three more killings, your grace." Bywater dutifully reported the obvious, like any fucker with good eyes couldn't see the hanging bodies three paces in front of them. "We have been stretched thin as of late, but now that the riots are over, the Watch can properly patrol the streets."
Joffrey nodded solemnly. "I…wish…you…to…begin…enforcing…my…new…edict…as…quickly…as…possible."
"I am yours to command, your grace." Bywater bowed.
The new edict being a complete ban on brothels hiring girls younger than seven and ten, with fines and even death as penalties for violations of the command. Many of the brothels had already complied, but others seemed to want a noose around their necks.
At least the boy wasn't banning brothels outright, like Stannis Baratheon liked to do on his lands.
"The…hospital."The King told Bywater. "Tell…the…girls…they…will…be…paid…more…if…they…work…for…the…king's…hospital."
That had been one of the boy's more unusual undertakings. Haggling taxes and fines with Magistrates and Headmen was not exactly what Sandor expected the boy to do as King, but it was not surprising. But the hospital had taken him completely by surprise. The King found a large manse owned by the Crown just outside of Flee Bottom and converted it into a healer house for the poor of the city.
Granted, it was no different than a normal Motherhouse as the King had placed Silent Sisters there and a few former whores now considered too young for their profession. But it was still something Sandor had never expected from the normally cruel boy.
"Cut…them…down."Joffrey motioned at the corpses. "Give…them…to…the…sisters. They…were…corrupt…and…treacherous. But…they…were…men."
And that was far more generous than Joffrey's treatment of Stark, who had his head set on a spike. Even if the boy had gone back on that order. If Sandor had known that the only thing that kept Joffrey from being a cunt was a few convulsions, he might have shaken the boy personally a few years earlier. Saved the realm a great deal of misery.
Bywater bowed and went to follow his orders. Sandor looked at the King, expecting the boy to have orders for him as well. Instead, the boy walked right past him and up to one of the ruined buildings around them.
"Old brewery," Sandor said as he followed the boy. "Caught fire some ten years past and abandoned."
"Not…abandoned."The Kings said as he walked through the ruined entryway.
The brewery sure did look abandoned, half the building destroyed and everything inside having long since been looted.
"You want to bet on it?" Sandor asked.
"Kings…do…not…bet."The boy said.
Someone should have told Robert that,Sandor thought amusedly.
He then watched the boy get down to his knee and fiddle with something on the floor. And then Joffrey heaved and opened a hidden door that had been on the ground.
"Not…abandoned."The boy repeated.
"Well, I'll be fucked."
Joffrey looked back at him, a flash of almost amusement in his eyes.
"I…pay…you." The boy huffed, before going down the stairs into the hidden room. "My…winnings…would…have…been…my…own…coin."
"Little cunt," Sandor cursed under his breath as he followed the boy.
The concealed area was dark, but the floor was crowded with objects thrown about. There were books on what Sandor saw in the light coming through the open door, as well as chests. Large chests were spread around and even stacked on top of each other. The King opened one, and...
Sandor blinked for several moments. Then he whistled.
It was gold—a lot of gold. Pentoshi and Volantis gold, coupled with the Dragons of the Iron Throne, with the faces of Robert and Mad Aerys, as well as the second Jaehaerys and an Aegon. Joffrey unlocked several more chests, which contained only more dragons, stags, and stars.
"Fuck." Sandor cursed.
Joffrey turned away from the chests towards the piles of books and started paging through them.
"What the fuck is this?" He asked.
"Baelish's…ledgers."The King answered.
"I knew the man had coin," He shook his head. "Didn't think it was this much."
"This..is..the..crown's…coin."Joffrey said.
"No shit," Sandor snorted. "Why the fuck would he keep ledgers of his thieving?"
"Blackmail,"Joffrey replied. "In…case..his…friends…were..to…betray..him."
The King turned to the men-at-arms. "Ser…Hugh."
"Your grace." One of the Baratheon Knights bowed.
"Load…the…gold…in…the…wagons…we…brought." The boy ordered as he made his way back up into the ruined brewery. "And…see…that…the…ledgers…find…their…way…to…my…study."
Soldiers started descending into the subfloor, pulling up chests and books. Sandor followed the boy as he made his way into the streets where the carts were waiting.
"Should I oversee the work?" Sandor asked. "In case the boys decide on some thieving themselves."
Joffrey blinked, like the notion had never occurred him. "No."
"No?" Sandor questioned. "You'll really let them skim from the top of your coin."
"They…have…are…good…and…loyal…men…and…are.. …besides."
Sandor almost dismissed it as the boy's naivety or stupidity. But he exuded confidence, as if he knew for certain that the men would keep their pledges. The Baratheon men loaded all of the chests and books, as well as some pots and vases that Sandor hadn't noticed in the dark. Once filled, the covered wagons were sealed with powerful iron locks on the doors.
Then the tall fucker, Hugh, went down the four wagons and tested every lock before marching up to Joffrey with a chain of keys. The King took the keys and tied them securely to his belt. And then they mounted on their horses and were back off to the Red Keep.
Sandor hoped that this was all the boy had planned for his excursions today, as in the past days the King would drag him around all fucking day and would only return to the keep near sunset. But Sandor wouldn't ask the boy if he had other plans, he had done it before, and the King seemed to remember something else.
They rode down Rhaenys's Hill and through the narrow streets of Flee Bottom until they had reached the very center of the city. The men-at-arms had to frequently ride ahead and clear the road for them and the wagons. They kept being plagued by crowds until they finally began ascending Aegon's Hill, and it was not until they had made it through the gates of the Red Keep did Sandor finally let his shoulders drop.
They came back up when 'Ser' Lancel Lannister came running out of the Keep. "Your grace!"
"Ser…Lancel."The King acknowledged as he dismounted.
"There is a great disturbance at court, Your Grace." Lancel said hastily. "The Queen…"
Well, there goes Sandor's time to relax.