AN: Alright, we're back to our regularly scheduled updates. In fact there might be a slight acceleration in updates as I'm going to be on uni holiday for two weeks, and intend to be updating the quest more frequently. Or I might decide to just build up a backlog so there aren't any more unexpected missed weeks.

Your sleep had been disturbed last night by Merrill's screams, and her actions after you had found her had only compounded your concern. Upon rising with the sun, you intend to speak to her about it as soon as possible. Fortunately, it seems that the decision has been taken out of your hands. You have barely finished breakfast and are walking towards the study when Merrill approaches you.
Despite approaching you the young elf fidgets in place for a few moments before speaking. "Thank you, um, for last night."
"There is no need for thanks. I am sorry there was nothing else I could have done. Are you well?" You reply.
Merrill shrugs. "I don't think I'm hurt. I'll get over it."
"If it is not too sensitive a topic, may I ask what happened?" You inquire.
Merrill glances up and down the corridor in which you stand. "Uh, I can tell you, could we perhaps not do it here?"

You see no reason not to agree and Merrill leads you to a nearby room, a solar of some kind you think. She shuts the door and sits in one of the chairs.
"So I did what you told me to do. And uh." She trails off, rubbing her arm.
You remain silent, though you are tempted to assure her once more that she does not need to tell you anything she does not wish to. Interrupting her at this point would only serve to impede her from relaying her tale, and you have already made your stance on the matter clear.
After a while Merrill does speak. "At first it was fine. I tried to keep in mind what I wanted to do. At first it was fine; I went through the Veil without any trouble. While I was in the Beyond, I felt something. I can't really describe it, but when I tried to come back through it came with me. Then the pain hit. It was terrible, like nothing I've ever experienced."

As Merrill trails off again, looking around as though for inspiration, you speak. "You do not need to describe it; I too have passed through the Veil when it wishes to stop me. I know what it is like."
Merrill looks at you in surprise, then her face falls. "Oh. Yes, you did come through the Veil."
As she wraps her arms around herself you reach out to grip her shoulder. "You should not view this as a personal failure. Do you remember what I told you of the Eldar?"
Merrill looks up at you, confused. "Which bit, you told me a lot."
"The part where I mentioned how our souls lead our bodies. It is far easier for me to ignore pain and discomfort than it is for you." You smile encouragingly, the shadow lifting somewhat from Merrill's face.
"It's still a failure though, I didn't do what I meant to do." She points out, her voice shaking with suppressed emotion.
You widen your smile. "You have not failed until you are no longer trying."

Merrill looks at you for a moment, her face filled with fear. "I don't know if I can. It hurt so much. Can you help me? Is there anything you can do?"
You nod leaving your hand on her shoulder. "I will do all I can to aid you. If it helps at all, I believe that you would succeed even if I did not."
"How can you be so sure? I feel so, so just." Merrill trails off nervously.
You raise an eyebrow. "Certainly, right now you are shaken and uncertain. I am not attempting to claim that you would be reluctant to attempt this challenge again. But I believe that I have come to know you over the last six months. You are determined and never one to shrink from a challenge. If anything, you tend to have the opposite problem. In time you will recover, and you will try again."
Merrill giggles nervously. "Perhaps, I can't say I feel quite the same right now. Still, what are we doing? I'd rather get this done sooner than later."

"The first thing we are going to need to do is leave the building so you can sleep." You state.
Merrill gives you a look. "It's not even two full hours since I got up. I don't think I'm ready for a nap right now."
Personally, you suspect that given her disturbed sleep last night she would be more than capable of a morning nap. Given that you have no desire to argue with her on such over such an inconsequential point, you keep that thought to yourself.
Instead, you say, "Well, it is not so unusual to have an afternoon nap. Perhaps after lunch we can meet outside?"
Merrill sighs. "I suppose it's for the best, even if it seems wasteful."
"I will bring the hammock." You declare.

After lunch has come and gone you meet Merrill by the gate. She is nervous, fidgeting when she is still and walking just a half step faster than normal when in motion. Knowing that there are no words to calm her nerves, you lead her the trees where you spent your own time learning to lucid dream in silence.
As you are stringing up the hammock Merrill finally speaks. "You never answered my question. What's the plan? What are we doing."
You pause in thought a moment, you had forgotten to explain your plan while deciding when to enact it. How foolish of you.
With a short bark of laughter, you explain yourself. "My plan is twofold. Firstly, I shall use the light of the Eldar to brace you against the pain of the transition. Then I shall reach out and touch your mind with my own, so that I might provide vocal encouragement when you are where my voice cannot reach."

Merrill smiles, even as she continues to fidget with nerves. "Yes. That's good. that light of yours always makes me feel safe. As for the telepathy thing..."
Merrill suddenly trails off, her eyes narrowing as she stares at you.
"Nelyafinwë." She asks dangerously. "You wouldn't have been hiding the fact that you can read minds from me, would you?"
You are on the verge of explaining that it is not so simple; you had not wanted to make her uncomfortable and it is not something you wield lightly. Then her expression makes you pause. She has stopped fidgeting and all her focus is on you. A smile creeps across your face as you have an idea that could help her.
"Why Merrill, I cannot believe you would accuse me of such a thing." You say, faux-innocently. "I would never use an ability to read minds to pretend to be far more perceptive than I am."

Merrill's eyes widen and she raises her fists in anger. "You could read minds this whole time and you didn't tell me!? And you use it on people!? Do you have any idea how much easier talking to people would be if I could read their minds!? Tell me how!"
She has actually grabbed your shirt and is attempting to shake you. You find it both hilarious and adorable as she fails to move you even slightly.
"But Merrill." You say innocently. "You did not ask."
Her expression grows dangerously close to true rage at this point, so you decide to end the jape.

"I jest Merrill." You raise your hand, your expression and tone returning to its neutral rest. "I did not tell you because I do not use it often, and it makes others uncomfortable. It is part of being an Eldar, not something I can teach you."
Merrill releases you, her expression shifting through several different emotions.
"That was cruel." She complains.
"I had hoped it would take your mind off your nerves." You reply. "It appears to have succeeded."
She blinks in confusion for a moment. Then she blushes and looks away.
"Let's just get this over with." She mutters.
"Of course, please lie down." You reply, stepping aside with a bow. "I will aid you in falling asleep."

Despite the bright sun filtering through the trees, Merrill manages to fall asleep. Perhaps it is the comforting feeling of her teacher's light wrapping around her, or the soft lullaby that is probably a spell in disguise. Merrill considers the question to distract herself as she passes through the green tinged rush of sensation that is the Veil when lucid dreaming. Her nerves act up again, fear curdling inside her gut as the sensation resolves into the slightly distorted shadow of Enataurëo that the Beyond contains. She isn't sure if the shadow is because of the process that created the building or if it is simply a place of enough significance to cast a shadow into this realm of memory and dreams. All she knows is that the strange cast the familiar halls take brings her none of the comfort the physical version does.

The First of the Sabrae clan shakes her head and forces herself to stop avoiding the reason she came here. The feeling that she became aware of here is back. The young Dalish does not have the words needed to describe the sensation. It is not quite like being complete, though she feels lesser without it. It is not exactly like having an energy within her but in a sense that is exactly what it is. If someone were to force her to explain what it was like, she'd say that it was as if everything about her slowed down, even as she grew faster. None of this is what she dreads. Turning to the right slightly, a new sense for the unseen reveals the boundary of the Veil. When she catches 'sight' of it, she shivers in fear.

It is at this point that another feeling makes itself known to her. A seemingly endless well of light seems to explode behind her eyes, accompanied by a burning resolve not her own.
'Are you ready?' Her teacher's voice echoes through the green shadowed halls.
Merrill wonders if the voice is appearing in the Beyond or if she is only imagining the way it fills the room. Suddenly realising that her teacher is still waiting for a response she nods, only to blush immediately. She feels very silly for nodding, her teacher isn't here and can't see her.

'I am in your mind; I can tell what you mean even if I cannot see or hear you. If you are ready, then let us be done with this.' The voice remains flat and neutral, though through their connection she cand tell that its owner is somewhere between amused and annoyed.
The familiarity of her teacher is comforting, or perhaps that is the gentle pressure of the 'Light of the Eldar' she can still feel. With a deep breath, Merrill gathers her courage and steps into the Veil.

The pain is intense and all encompassing. It is as though she has been plunged into the earth's molten core.
'How do I know what that feels like?' Merrill wonders as she struggles against the immense pressure that opposes her.
'You can do it. One step after another.' Since she has entered the Veil her teacher's voice is strangely muted.
As she continues, it feels as though everything that makes her herself is burning away. Her lungs feel as though they are about to burst, despite the fact she does not need to breathe. Her head fills with fuzz and all she can think about is giving up. If she just stops fighting, then the pain will end.
'What is my name again?' An elf wonders.
'One more step.' The burning well of light replies.

The elf would turn back, but the light calls to her. It promises things, smiles from friends, a gentle embrace, a better tomorrow. Still, as she reaches the halfway point, it feels as though it is not enough.
'Why do I think I am halfway through?' an elf asked.
'One more step.' Echoes faintly in the green hell of burning pain.
She would give up now, she still has so far to go, but again she is stopped. The fierce burning determination, the endless faith that success will come, stands behind her. She cannot disappoint the voice; it's important to her for some reason.
One more step.
One more.
One step.
Step.

It is too much; she is very nearly at the end yet the pressure has only grown.
'That was not supposed to happen.' The elf thinks in a male voice. 'Something is different this time.'
The elf giggles in a woman's voice. The elf is very silly changing voices like that. Only one step to go. Then another. It is all an elf can remember at this point. One foot in front of another. At last, the final barrier looms ahead. The elf steps into it.
Merrill gasps as the Veil throws its full might against her in a last desperate attempt to halt her progress. This is not the ever present burning pain, it is more akin to a savage stabbing grab. She feels as though she is caught in the jaws of a great wolf. With the burning resolve of her teacher behind her, the strength of her Keeper within her she strives against this last hurdle.

One… More... Step.

Darkness covers Merrill's eyes; she cannot see anything before her. Even the light from before seems to have abandoned her. Even the feeling that she had gone in to retrieve seems to have vanished. In this moment all hope and resolve seems to have fled, it is only her stubbornness that keeps her moving. Blind and desperate she reaches out for something, anything, as she stumbles forward towards the voice of her teacher that calls her still.
"Merrill! Merrill!" It echoes through the darkness.
With the last embers of her swiftly fading will, Merrill takes a final step. The darkness shatters like a pane of eldritch green glass. Merrill's lungs suck in a breath that took a century and only a moment all at once. She pants, as she tries to keep herself from collapsing. Going from the absolute darkness of her final moments to the sudden riot of colour and brightness is a shock that has her clasping her head and hiding her eyes.

Warm hands grasp her arms, and the presence of her teacher wraps around her. The light that had been her long companion is all that she can see, so bright that it shines through her eyelids and causes her pain to worsen. Despite the pain, it provides her an anchor, the steadiness of the light giving her something to focus on until her head is no longer lanced by burning spikes. When the chaos of her thoughts has settled, she dares open her eyes. The familiar face of her teacher fades out of focus as a new world is revealed to her. Colours and shapes twist in her ears as the gentle welcome of a beloved home wafts through her nose. All undercut by a drifting song, faintly carried on the breeze, impossible to hear when focused on but always present.

"Merrill!" Her body shakes as her teacher repeats words that had until now gone unheard. "Are you hurt? What is the matter? Talk to me!"
"I'm, I'm fine." Her voice is distracted and distant, she feels as though she has just awoken from a great sleep that still clings to her, fogging her thoughts and slowing her actions. "It's just a lot right now. Gimme a minute."
Her teacher moves back, his eyes focused on her as though he intends to see through her skin to whatever it is that ails her. Gratefully Merrill lets herself slowly adjust to this riot of sensation, none of which makes sense to her. The shaking slowly subsides, and she becomes more aware of her surroundings. Finally, she is able to take a deep breath and focus on her teacher.

For a moment she doesn't know what to say, many different thoughts and emotions clamour to be the first from her mouth. She stumbles over the words she has not yet said, choking slightly. As Nelyafinwë's eyes narrow and his face grows more concerned, she cannot prevent the tears that start to flow. Even as her teacher reaches forward, presumably to comfort her, she adds laughter to the mixture of expression. As the visitor from another world grows more concerned, she finally manages to gasp out her thoughts.
"I did it!" Her voice shakes from the tears and the laughter, and the thought of how she must look right now makes her laughter redouble.
She can barely see the expression Nelyafinwë is making, but his voice is filled with a warmth she cannot mistake. "Well done, Merrill. Welcome to the ranks of the Quendi."

You were very worried when Merrill emerged from the Beyond. You kept a watch on her throughout the day, concerned by her reaction. Despite your concerns she only grows more comfortable and confident as the day passes. By the time you have gone to sleep you have no further worries about her. Thus you are surprised and greatly concerned when the next morning you find her sitting at the table, pale faced and staring at her plate.
"Merrill?" You ask, approaching slowly. "What is the matter?"
Merrill starts, her head whipping around to lock onto you. She gives you a wan smile when she realises who has spoken.
"Oh. Hi Nelyafinwë. Don't worry I'm still fine." She tells you.

You move across the table and take a seat facing her. "Your words say one thing, but your face says another. If you do not want to tell me, you do not have to, but please do not lie to me."
Merrill meets your eyes without flinching. "I'm not lying. I'm still getting used to things, but I'm not hurt or anything. It's just…"
You wait for a long moment, expecting her to continue.
When she does not you prompt. "It is just what? What has you pale faced and shaken?"
Merrill sighs. "It's stupid."
You say nothing, simply waiting.
Your patience is rewarded when she continues. "I didn't sleep last night. I couldn't."

You raise an eyebrow. "Understandable, you have experienced something quite unpleasant. In time it will pass, for now I recommend…"
Uncharacteristically, Merrill interrupts you. "It's not that. I didn't have nightmares, nor did I wake up again and again. I mean I literally couldn't sleep. I closed my eyes, and it was like I was meditating. I can tell you everything that happened around me, yet I'm not tired. I felt tired last night, but six hours of semi-conscious meditation and I'm as fresh as though I had slept for hours. It's… earie."
You blink a few times. You had not expected that to happen, you have never even heard of something like this happening before. Though this is a unique situation.
"I have no idea why that might be happening." You lean forward, concern subsumed beneath burning curiosity. "Tell me more."

Merrill throws back her head and laughs until tears run down her face.
Between bouts of laughter, she manages to gasp out, "I see why spirits call you knowledge now."
You tilt your head slightly. "What do you mean by that?"
Merrill struggles for a few minutes to contain her laugher. You bite your lip to prevent your impatience or pride from causing any problems.
When she has calmed down, she replies, "Sorry, ever since I came out from the Beyond, I've been 'seeing', though that's not quite the right word, things. I think it's kind of like how spirits see the world. I mean, I guess, I have no proof just theories. It's just right as you asked that I felt like the only thing you cared about was knowledge, which probably is how spirits see you."
You end up discussing Merrill's new abilities straight through breakfast.