Notes:
A further part of me trying to clear out the many WIPs on my computer. This one is it's own AU and not connected to any of my (or anyone else's) other stories in the fandom – more just a random idea that for some reason my brain wanted me to write a while ago that I am now pushing myself to finish. The full story is made up of three parts with about 7 chpts per part.
Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural, or any of the related characters. The Supernatural series is created by Eric Kripke and owned by The CW Network. This work of fanfiction is for entertainment only. I am not making a profit of any kind from this story.
Now and Then
Part 1 – The Family Business
Prologue - Then: 1991
Ten-year-old Mikala was lost. They were staying with her aunt and she'd insisted she could find her own way to the park and back. After all, she'd been there before. She knew the way. And sure, she'd found the park just fine, enjoying the sunny afternoon with some local kids. But now it was dinner time and somehow, during the intervening hours, the way back had become muddled.
The road that looked familiar and should have led to the pink house, didn't have a pink house at the end of it. It was unlikely that the owners had repainted a whole house in one afternoon, so she could only assume she had turned down the wrong road. But when she tried to backtrack the main street seemed to have disappeared too.
She stood at a crossroads looking in each direction in turn, almost frustrated to tears. Surely there was something familiar in at least one direction.
"You lost?" a strange voice called out.
She jumped and turned towards it.
A boy, a little older than her and holding a paper grocery bag was giving her a teasing smile.
"No," she insisted.
"Uh huh," he said in a sceptical tone. Then his face became softer, more understanding. "Where are you heading?"
"I just need to get back to the main street," she said, glancing down a road she'd already dismissed.
"You want to go that way," he said kindly, pointing in another direction. "I can walk with you if you like."
The road he'd pointed to was narrower than the others and looked like it led away from town, not towards it. She shook her head. Maybe this boy was just trying to make her more lost. But there was something trustworthy about him, though she didn't know what. Maybe it was just that he didn't seem lost.
"See that big tree?" He asked. She looked that way and nodded. "When you get to it, turn right, you'll see the high street."
Had she turned when first heading this way? Maybe she had. She had still been confident she knew where she was when she first walked into this estate, so she hadn't been paying attention. Her thoughts had been full of the invitation to go swimming tomorrow with the girls she'd met at the park and how she was going to convince her mother to let her go.
"I'll stay here and watch until you get there, once you see main street, just wave," he offered. He wasn't going to leave her until she knew where she was. It was nice.
"Thanks," she smiled shyly. He was kinda cute, actually.
The sun seemed to drop more quickly here, than when she was at home. By the time she was being dragged through the woods, tears blurring away any chance of trying to keep track of where she was being taken, it was almost fully dark, though it had barely been dusk when she reached the tree and turned back to wave at the boy.
The next thing she knew she was in a cave. There were several other children there. All with the same lost, terrified expression she was sure was on her own face.
She was more lost than she had ever been. Lost and trapped. She had no idea how to get back home, even if she could find a way out of the cave.
now&then
Chapter 1: Lost
NOW: Four Years Later
Eight-year-old Damn ducked under the barrier that warned the clock tower was closed for maintenance. There was no sign of a work crew so he was fairly confident no one would be up there. It wasn't a particularly nice clock tower, even if they hadn't been doing work on it. And there wasn't a lot to view from it. But he needed to go up and look anyway. It was the only way to find his family.
He scowled as he stomped determinedly up the steps to the viewing platform. He was probably already in trouble anyway. It would be his fault, everything always was. It wasn't fair. And his big brother was so annoying. He always got his own way, just because he was older. Being the youngest sucked. He always had to do as he was told, by everyone.
So this time, he hadn't. He'd done what he wanted. And now he'd be in trouble for sneaking off. He didn't plan to be gone long, not long enough for real panic. He had only gone to get an ice cream. Which he'd promptly dropped when someone banged into him as he was searching the crowd, trying to find his brother again.
It was his brother's fault! If he'd just come with him instead of insisting there wasn't time before they had to meet their dads. Swallowing down the uncomfortable feeling that was trying to crawl up his throat from his belly, he continued his climb up the clock tower. He'd be able to see his family from the top then everything would be fine.
Breathing hard, he made it to the top of the stairs and walked to the edge of the platform. The brick was being repaired and there was an area that only had a temporary barrier of some planks and warning tape. By standing on his tiptoes, he could see over the boards to the street below. He was grinning when he started but his grin quickly disappeared when he couldn't spot his brother with so many people milling about. He pulled up with his arms, his feet leaving the floor, so he could lean over the edge to search.
"Hey, careful, Kid," came a voice from behind him. In surprise Damn's arms gave way and he landed with a thud back on the platform, turning quickly to see who had spoken.
An older boy, probably in his mid-teens, was sitting against the wall behind him and had obviously been there a while. He had a take-out coffee beside him and a book on his lap.
"I wouldn't trust the barrier if I were you." The teen's intense eyes inspected him. "You lost?"
Damn shook his head at the stranger. The teenager hadn't got up so he didn't feel threatened.
"But you're looking for someone?" the teen asked shrewdly.
"My family," he admitted. "But I'm not lost," he added insistently.
"Do they know that?" There was a slight smirk, like the teenager had a reasonable idea of exactly why he was up there. Damn shrugged. The teenager put down his book. "You want me to help you find them?"
He still hadn't stood, it was like he was waiting for permission. That was nice. Normally Damn wasn't allowed to decide anything. And he did want to find his family. He nodded.
The teen stood. He was taller than expected but approached casually.
"Hang on," he said, and disappeared around the platform. He returned a moment later carrying a box. "Here, stand on this, just don't put your weight on the barrier, I'm not sure how sturdy it is."
Damn nodded his thanks and agreement, then climbed onto the box and looked over the edge again. The teen came to stand next to him, looking down at the people below but clearly keeping half an eye on the precariously balanced boy.
"So, what we looking for?"
"My brother, and maybe my dads," Damn admitted with a side look to see how this would be taken.
"Well since I don't know any of those people you might need to give me a little more description," the teen said casually.
Damn smiled to himself. The teen wasn't going to give him a hard time about his family. Of course, two dads was the least unusual thing about them, but the teenager wasn't to know that. He looked back down at the crowd below.
"Oh, there he is," he said excitedly, pointing and leaning forwards. The teen quickly grabbed a handful of the back of the boy's jacket to keep him from putting his weight against the barrier.
"Who?" he asked, trying to keep Damn balanced.
"The boy there, with the light brown hair and dark green jacket," Damn said, still pointing. As the teenager tried to follow his gaze, they saw two men join his brother. There was some gesturing, and then his big brother hung his head. Good, Damn thought, serves him right.
But guilt squirmed in his belly because he knew it wasn't true, his brother was good to him mostly. When their dads were busy working, he looked after him. Not that they were left alone, but both men seemed to be busy a lot and one or the other would often go away for days or even weeks at a time.
"That's my big brother," he explained. Seeing that the teenager's eyes had narrowed in on the correct target. "And the men with him are my dads."
"They look worried," the teenager said. He kept his voice casual, but the boy felt the meaning behind the comment.
"I guess I should get down there," he said guiltily.
"I'll follow you down, I need to get back anyway," the teen said with a shrug. He wasn't going to push, or even ask questions, but he was going to make sure the boy got back to his people.
Damn smiled his thanks and stepped down off the box. "So how come you were up the tower?" he asked the older boy as they made their way back down the steps.
"It's quiet, no one goes up there much," the teenager said evasively.
They made the bottom of the stairs without further comment and when Damn turned in the wrong direction, the teenager reached out a hand to steer him the other way, around the edge of the clock tower until they could see his brother and fathers a short way away. He smiled to see them so close and started toward them.
"Hey, Kid," the teenager said. Damn turned back to look at him. "Not everyone is lucky enough to have even one person that cares if they disappear, you should be glad you have three." It wasn't harsh, it was almost wistful.
"Thanks for helping me find them," he said, suddenly curious about the older boy.
"No sweat," the teenager smiled. He looked remarkably different when he did, almost familiar, but it didn't last. There was a pause. They hadn't exchanged names and that suddenly felt wrong to the younger boy.
"I'm Adam," he said.
The teen held out his hand and Damn shook it, firmly like he'd been taught. The teenager nodded his approval at the shake. Adam questioned with his eyes, hoping the older boy would give his name too, but the teen just shrugged, then turned and left.
"… you're supposed to be responsible," came a heightened, familiar, voice from behind Adam. He turned and hurried towards his family.
"Cool your jets, John, he won't have gone far. You know how he likes to explore."
"But …" John started looking frantic as Adam joined them.
"Hey."
Sam scowled at his little brother, John looked furiously relieved and Bobby gave Adam a knowing look.
"Sorry," Adam said to the latter. "I just wanted to –"
"You do not wander off alone, understand? Not ever. Not for any reason." John was almost yelling despite Bobby's calming hand on his arm. They all knew why, and Adam felt bad.
"I'm sorry, Dad. Really. I won't do it again."
John took a couple of breaths, looking at his youngest son, safe and sound before him, and they could all see him start to calm.
It was different for Adam, he knew that. He hadn't lost his oldest brother. Dean had disappeared before he'd come to live with them. Before his dad and Dad Bobby had got together.
Adam had only been five when his mother had died. Until then, it had just been the two of them. He vaguely remembered being aware that other kids had dads and he didn't, but mostly he remembered her; sleeping in his fort with him, making the best cakes ever, and her smell which was just … perfect.
Then one day she hadn't come to get him from school. He hadn't been worried at first. Her job meant she sometimes got held up and his teacher knew that too. He was allowed to draw until she arrived while Miss Medson tidied. He'd offered to help but she'd told him it was fine. He remembered that, for some reason. Miss Medson, putting things away, smiling at him and asking what he was drawing. It had been the last moment, the last moment before the world tilted.
Then a tall man had arrived. Adam hadn't been scared of him, even though he was huge and scruffy and had one black eye and a cut over the other one. Miss Medson had been scared though. She'd stood between Adam and the man, who was looking at him sadly, and demanded to know who the man was.
The man had spoken quietly to her. Adam had focused back on his picture and paid little attention. One of them must have called other people because then the Principal had been there, then some other people. Then Miss Medson had come over with tears in her eyes and told him she had someone he needed to meet.
And so Adam had met his father for the first time. And the first thing John had told him was that his mother wasn't coming. That she was dead. But that he was going to look after Adam, and everything would be OK.
That had been three years ago. Much of that time was jumbled for Adam now. His whole life was turned upside-down along with the first letter of his last name as he went from being a Milligan to a Winchester. But he remembered meeting his big brother, Sam. He'd liked Sam right off. Sam had been sad like Adam. He'd lost people too, he'd said, but they would look after each other, because that was what brothers did.
Adam wasn't sure when he'd first heard the name Dean, but it was later when he found out who he was. John had taken him and Sam to stay with a friend. Back then they'd called him Uncle Bobby. It had been strange. Everything he'd known was gone and he was in this strange house with strange people. Sam had looked after him. He was always teasing and saying things like 'well you're a-dam surprise' and 'you're a-dam nuisance, you know' which eventually got reduced to the nickname Damn. But he also made up games and let Adam climb into his bed when he had nightmares. Sometimes Dad would take him and Sam travelling somewhere, but then they'd go back to Uncle Bobby's so that Dad and Uncle Bobby could argue.
Then one day they stopped arguing. And there were no more trips away. Sam was tense and watchful, and Adam watched Sam because Sam always knew what to do whereas Adam had no idea. When Dad and Bobby had sat them down and said they were all going to be a family together, Adam had mostly been glad. Before he'd just had his mom and losing her made it very clear to him how important it was to have other people, but Sam had been upset. He'd stormed from the table and locked himself in his room. He wouldn't talk to anyone, but eventually let Adam in. Just Adam, no one else.
Adam remembered asking him why it was bad to have more people in your family, more people loving you. (It was similar to what the teenager had said to him earlier, that's why Adam had known the older boy was right.) Sam had cheered up after that. And now, two years later, they were just a family. Adam had learned in the time since that some people didn't like their sort of family, however he still wasn't sure why.
But yes. It had been after Uncle Bobby became Dad Bobby, that he'd learned about Dean. He'd heard the name mentioned a few times before that, usually when his dads were arguing, but Sam would never even say the name and got angry if it came up.
Then one day Dad John had taken off. He'd got a call and just said, it's about Dean, I've got to go, jumped into the Impala and left. Sam had cried (which he never did) and Dad Bobby had looked pale and worried. It had been hours later, after Sam had gone upstairs and locked himself in the bedroom the boys usually shared, before Adam had dared to ask who Dean was.
It was Dad Bobby who had explained. Dean was Sam's big brother, Adam's bigger brother. Shortly before Adam's mom had died, Dean had disappeared. They didn't know what had happened to him but it was likely that he, like Adam's mom, was dead. However, since they didn't know for sure, they were still hoping to find him.
Adam had asked if they could still hope to find his mom too. Bobby had explained, they had found her, they knew she was dead, he was sorry. Adam was sorry too but he wasn't surprised, not about his mom. Somehow, he knew she was gone. Even though he missed her every day, he never expected her to come back.
That was still true now, even though he now knew what his family did, why each of his dads would sometimes be gone for a while and why the other one was so tense and short tempered while they were. He still never expected his mom to come back. But he knew, even though they all said that Dean was dead too, they all still hoped he'd show up.
Adam didn't know exactly what had happened to his bigger brother. He knew Dad John blamed himself because he was away working when Dean disappeared. And he knew Sam blamed himself because he'd been staying with Dean in a motel when it happened. And he knew Dad Bobby said it was no one's fault but the sonofabitch that took Dean, but still cried looking at an old photograph sometimes when he thought no one was about.
Adam had only seen one picture of his bigger brother and it was from when Dean was about eight. He was carrying four-year-old Sam, despite the younger boy being really too big for the eight-year-old to manage. Mostly Adam had noticed the look of adoration on little Sam's face.
He knew that was why Dad John had freaked out when he wandered off. Sam would be mad at him and Bobby would give him disappointed eyes. He decided it was best not to mention the teenager he'd met. They'd all think the older boy was some kind of monster or something, though Adam was sure he wasn't. He'd liked the boy.
To be continued …
AN: The story is not canon anyway but I've played with the ages as I wanted 4 years between each of the boys, I hope that's not too confusing. It's set in about 1995, so Adam is 8, Sam is 12 and Dean is 16. John and Bobby? Well, I dunno – Sam and Dean kinda had two dads in canon, right? (lol) 😊