He sat on the balcony overlooking the city, his green eyes reflecting the city lights as the wind ruffled his curly hair. Izuku could smell the scents of the city, the local ramen place and it's mouthwatering flavors, the emissions from the vehicles making their way through the streets, the factory that made soap a few blocks from him and the unmistakable scent of liquor that warmed the throats of the people mingling bellow him. The night was warm from the day's scorching heat, intensifying the scents that swirled around him, but it would still not rid him of the scent he tried scrubbing off of his hands, the smell of stale blood.
You see, his day started off like any other. He had woken up at 11am, got ready for the gym, and spent two hours there. After that, he cleaned up and got ready for his hero work because his shift started at 3pm. He needed to rush to get to the train station because his transit took roughly an hour and he had lunch plans with Katsuki before work started. They still sat down at his desk eating leftovers that Katsuki brought from home. It was mapo tofu and he swore he lost his ability to taste anything after that. Katsuki still called him a wimp for having such weak taste buds as Izuku was guzzling down a bottle of water.
After they had finished eating, they had sat and talked about trivial things and whatever crossed their minds. It had been 3 years since they graduated from UA and they were working as rookies for Endeavors agency where they were working their way up to sidekick. They would debate on who they would like to work under.
The subject came up again since Burnin was retiring and she was one of the options they had to work as a sidekick for. Even when their shifts started and they worked their route through their district, they continued to debate on the subject and all the other heroes available to sidekick for. Most of their shift went on that way, with a few incidents here and there: a purse snatcher, a kid looking for his mum, some kids loitering outside after school and other small incidents. The chaos started an hour before their shift was to end. It was about 11pm and they were standing outside a bar after getting a call about a rowdy customer that needed to be removed from the premises due to his quirk being dangerous.
They were busy discussing their game plan before entering the bar when suddenly the door blew out with a blast of hot air, sending the two rookies stumbling back into the street. After they had righted themselves, they immediately charged in to see what was happening only to find that the bar had been completely turned over, the patrons scattered around the bar, laying in heaps, hiding behind tables or limping away from the man standing near the bar. He was barely standing up straight, his gait swaying from side to side and his hands held in front of him as though he was trying to push someone away.
"OI! Ya shwindler! Ey am no goingsh ta fall fa ya sssshceme!" The drunk man shouted, his mussed brown hair standing up in all directions, his bloodshot eyes skittering from side to side.
Izuku took a tentative step forward, raising his hands to show he meant no harm. "Sir, I'm going to need you to calm down and tell me what the matter is."
Katsuki stuck by the door, forcibly pulling patrons away from the situation whether they liked it or not, often with a boot to the ass.
"Fffffuck yew greenie! Stay aways frums me! I knows whas you waaaans frums me!" The man lifted his hands a little higher and the air around them started to vibrate.
Izuku stopped moving forward. "Please sir, I am from Endeavor agency and I'm here to help you. Can you please call off your quirk?"
"Nah hell!" When the man took a shaky step forward, the air vibrated faster, the air warming up to an uncomfortable heat.
Izuku took the split second decision after determining what he could of the man's quirk and shot forward, grabbing hold of his wrists and pointing them down as the man released his quirk. The force and momentum sent the two of them flying up, colliding with the ceiling. Izuku felt his breath being knocked from him as his back hit the ceiling before plummeting down where he lay for a few seconds to catch his breath.
A moment later he heard Katsuki calling for him through the dust the blast let off. "Deku! Oi nerd! You good?"
Izuku pushed himself up on his elbows, wincing as his hands stung with what seemed to be burns on his palms. He shook his head before looking up to where the other man lay, completely knocked out. He called back to Katsuki. "Yeah Kacchan! I'm okay, but I think I may have some burns, nothing too bad though. The other guy is knocked out."
"I'll call the medics while I get everyone out of here." Katsuki continued to guide the others out of the bar.
Izuku sat up slowly, using his elbows to push himself up to avoid using his hands. He was glad to see that the blast hadn't done anything to the structure of the concrete floor, his assumption had been correct.
There was a shrill scream behind him and as he turned to look, he caught sight of a woman running towards him with tears in her eyes, but what he failed to notice was the blade in her hand, raised and poised to strike.
There was a shout of his hero name and then suddenly Katsuki was in front of him and his world slowed down.
The woman was stopped in her tracks and Katsuki wasn't moving an inch.
"Kacchan?" Izuku kept his gaze on his blond friend, wondering why he wasn't moving or saying anything. "Kacchan?" He called out once again.
It was then that Katsuki staggered back and the woman's face came into view. Her skin was snow white, her eyes open in pure shock as she watched the rookie in front of her stagger and his knees collapse under him.
Izuku shot up, ignoring the skin on his hands that protested at the movement to push himself up onto his feet. He was with Katsuki in seconds, catching him just before he hit the ground. When Izuku pulled him back to see what had caused the blond to collapse, his breathing halted in his chest as ice swam through his veins.
There was a knife sticking out of his chest, the blood already staining the fabric of his costume. Izuku quickly without thinking put his fingers on either side of the blade, pressing down to stop the flow of blood.
He felt himself go into auto pilot mode, even though he could feel himself shaking as he barked out orders to anyone who could hear to call an ambulance. His vision blurred with what he presumed to be tears and his breathing became short and quick as the world around him seemed to fade away into the distance.
Katsuki was taking shallow breaths, his eyes screwed shut from the pain. "De-Deku…"
"Shh Kacchan, you need to keep still, we don't want this moving okay? You're going to be fine." His fingers shook as he held Kasuki against himself. "Just waiting for help to come, it won't be long, I promise, just hang in there." He could feel the blond's body slowly becoming more lax in his grip, his eyes starting to droop as the seconds ticked by. "Ka-Kacchan, please-please stay with me." It was as though he wasn't being heard, because eventually Katsuki went completely limp and Izuku let out a garbled scream. He was unable to feel for a pulse as his hands were occupied, and he didn't dare let go of his hold to staunch the bleeding, but he knew he couldn't feel Katsuki's heart beating under his palm.
It felt like eons before he felt someone pull him away from Katsuki. He wanted to fight to stay by his side, but it's when he finally blinked his eyes and caught sight of the EMT's that he relented and let them take over.
He could barely hear them talking as they worked on Katsuki, and when they had him on a stretcher and began to wheel him to the ambulance, he was still unable to get himself to move. Another EMT kneeled in front of him asking if he had any other injuries besides his hands and he just sat there staring blankly out the door. The EMT prompted him to stand and walk over to the other ambulance standing by the curb. Once he was in, he felt the vehicle take off.
When they had made it to the hospital, they tended to his injuries and when the fog finally faded from his mind, he asked about Katsuki but they weren't able to answer him. He kept asking though, unable to give up wanting information on his best friend, but they kept telling him that they didn't have any news on him as doctors were still working on him.
After they had finished patching up his hands, the skin was only slightly pink after a Doctor with a skin mutation quirk worked on them. Izuku sat outside in the waiting area after being discharged, waiting on news of Katsuki. He waited for all of 27 minutes when Mitsuki and Masaru showed up, standing at the nurses desk demanding answers and when all they told them was that he was in surgery and they hadn't gotten any updates on his condition, they slumped towards the waiting area.
When Mitsuki spotted Izuku in the waiting area, Izuku felt scared. She was most likely going to be angry with him for not protecting Katsuki and when all she did was sit next to him and pull him in for a hug, he froze. Unable to understand what was going on and feeling some form of comfort since the incident happened, he started crying, and Mitsuki tightened her hug. When Masaru sat down on the other side of Izuku and rubbed his back, he all out started sobbing, snot and tears staining his face as tremors racked at his chest.
They sat like that together for a while, and when the sobbing died down and Izuku relaxed in the embrace, he felt Mitsuki pull back from to look him in the eyes and said. "Trust that he will be alright Zuku, you know how stubborn he is, he will definitely make it through this."
More tears ran down his cheeks at the words. "I-I'm so, so so-sorry Aunty."
"Nuh uh, none of that 'sorry' business Zuku. I know you would ever purposely let this happen and I know that what happened was probably out of your hands and you did your best. I'll have none of this, you hear me?" The look on her face was stern, leaving no room for argument.
Izuku nodded, dropping his head and furiously rubbing his face of the mess it was.
The soft voice of Masaru spoke behind him and Izuku turned around to him. "How about you go home and get some food and rest? I promise we will keep you up to date on Katsuki's condition."
The greenette wanted to protest but when he looked back to Mitsuki, he could see he wasn't going to win that argument and he conceded.
Mitsuki pulled out her phone and scrolled for a moment before putting it to her ear. "I'm going to call you a cab."
After the call was done, Izuku bid them goodbye and they assured him that they would call as soon as they got any news on Katsuki.
After that he left, and on his way home in the cab, his mind drifted back to the incident and he wondered how he could have done it all differently, but no matter how he looked at it, he couldn't see any other way around what happened, all routes his mind made kept failing Katsuki over and over again.
Once he had made it home, the first thing he did was climb into the shower to scrub himself clean, but no matter how much he scrubbed at his hands, he could still see the blood on them and he could still smell it.
After the shower and some time sitting at his kitchen table, staring at his microwave meal that he couldn't bring himself to eat, he finally got a call from Masaru. The news wasn't bad, but it wasn't good either. The surgery was done but Katsuki wasn't out of the woods yet. There was still a possibility that the healing they did would not help due to him having a history of heart trauma.
After the call ended, Izuku crawled out to the balcony and that is currently where he sat while his mind took on the day that had progressed. His brain raced in ways to find if there was some way he could have done it differently while he cried to himself.
This wasn't the first time this happened and it tore at his heart, because the only difference this time was that he was actually there and not miles away. It seems as though no matter how close he was to Katsuki, he always failed in saving him. The war had almost broken them and he felt that this was fully breaking him.
When the war had finally ended and they had to build their lives up again, it was never the same. Yes, Katsuki survived by a miracle but they had lost so many others, and all because he wasn't there to save them. He had been carrying this with him for years, slowly but surely distancing himself from everyone even though he had promised that he would never leave them behind again, but he was scared. He was so scared that if he kept anyone too close, that he would inevitably end up losing them.
It was maybe a few weeks after the war when Katsuki had bombarded into his room at UA after being released from the hospital and reprimanded him for "Doing the same shit that he promised he wouldn't do again!" that Izuku broke down and told Katsuki everything.
Katsuki stayed with him with every word spoken, every tear that fell and every breath that got stuck in his chest. And when he was done and the room sunk into silence, the blond did something that Izuku never thought would ever happen. Katsuki had pulled him into the tightest hug and held him. When Izuku was able to wrap his head around what was happening, he started to sob and Katsuki started to speak.
"Izuku, you promised that you wouldn't leave us behind again, but that also means we will never leave you behind as well. We are a team and we work together. We help each other when we need it and we hold each other together when we're falling apart. Please Izuku, please don't do this."
When Izuku heard the sincerity in his voice, he started to sob harder and held onto Katsuki as though his life depended on it. They sat there in silence and held each other.
After that, they got better. Izuku stopped pushing everyone away and Katsuki got closer to everyone, especially Izuku. After some time they were barely spotted away from each other, always gravitating towards each other.
Time went on and they, along with the rest of society, rebuilt their world and they lived as best as they could. Sure nothing was ever the same again, but they still got to finish their schooling at UA and join Endeavors hero agency.
Their friendship had become so solid that there was always one with the other. Many would even joke about how they had become an old married couple, because even though they had become closer as friends, they still fought, and everyone else loved to watch it.
And now… Now it was happening all over again and Izuku wasn't sure he would get through this one this time. His heart was feeling colder the longer he went without news of Katsuki making it through this.
He leaned against the railing of his balcony as he closed his eyes and allowed the wind to whip the tears off of his cheeks. When he opened his eyes he gazed down at the busy night street, watching the people mingle and walk to their destinations. He wondered for a moment what it would be like to join him.
The thought was so jarring that he jerked himself back from the railing. It caught him so unawares and he felt as though it had gripped his heart in a cold vice grip. Was he really thinking of something like that? Was he really giving up so easily when there wasn't even news saying that Katsuki hadn't made it.
He pressed his back against the balcony door and slid down till he was sitting flat on the floor, unwilling to stand up and look over the railing again. His thoughts were going haywire and he couldn't understand anything that was going on as his breathing quickened its pace. He needed to get back inside so that he could pull himself away from that precipice. So he turned around and slowly crawled his way back into his apartment, slowly closing the door behind him, scared that if he made too much noise, he would be forced to face that terrifying thought.
Once he had made his way safely back in, he stood up and made his way to his bedroom to crawl under the blankets and curl into a ball. He needed to think of something else, anything else, but he was unable to pull himself away from the fear of losing the most important person in his life. He knew that he needed to keep himself together for Katsuki's sake, no matter what the outcome of this night would be.
He promised.
He promised.
He didn't want to break his promise with Katsuki again. He couldn't.
He was wrung dry of all his tears and his eyes were burning, straining against its attempt at letting loose moisture that simply wasn't there. He knew that meant he was probably dehydrated and needed to get some sort of liquid down his throat, but he was too scared to leave his bed. He didn't want to look towards his balcony again.
He closed his eyes and tried to think of the first day they started at Endeavor's agency, how the blond was so eager to start and how anxious he was. Katsuki was there with him all the way, encouraging him in his own abrasive way that helped Izuku to calm down and work through his first day without a hitch.
He remembered when it had officially been one month since they started. He had dragged Katsuki out to celebrate making it that far. The blond grumbled that it was only a month and how this should be done only after a year yet still followed him to celebrate.
He also remembers their first take down of a big time villain, just after their sixth month marker working there. They had celebrated once again and Katsuki was less pissy about this one.
He remembered their first quirk incident where Katsuki was stuck with green skin for a week and he became the new "Alien" of their class.
He remembered their first presentation at a primary school and how the kids thought Katsuki was so cool with his amazing quirk and how he preened with the attention, happily showing off mini explosions.
He remembers when they had hit their first quota for the month and they planned how they would keep going to try and break the second quota.
He remembered when they celebrated Katsuki's birthday when they could finally afford a party big enough to invite everyone.
He remembered when they broke the top 100 before they had even made sidekicks and how Katsuki would brag about it in front of all their friends and then later they were taken out to celebrate.
He remembers when they did their first undercover team mission and how they were able to take down the whole group, and how proud he was of them.
He remembers when they had made it to 2 years and Katsuki had made him his favorite dish and a cake to celebrate.
He has so many good memories of when they were together and he needed to repeat to himself that they had so many more memories they needed to remember together. Izuku refused to give up on him, because he promised.
With one last sigh, he pulled his phone towards his face to check for any new messages. There were a few from his old classmates telling him everything would be fine. One from his mother telling him to not lose hope. Another from All Might saying how Katsuki was a fighter and that he would pull through. A few messages from others that worked at the agency with them, but no more from Masaru or Mitsuki and he felt like the others didn't matter unless he had one from Katsuki's parents.
He clicked his phone off and burrowed even deeper into his bed, hoping that sleep would take him swiftly so that he may hide away from the pain of the world that tried to eat at the edges of his sanity.
The next morning when he awoke, it was to a blaring sound coming from his phone. He immediately shot up and scrambled to find his phone, the thing had hidden amongst his covers and when he finally got it free, he pressed the answer key without even looking at who the caller was, just hoping it was from the hospital. "Hello?!"
"Midoriya?"
The sound of Shoto's voice had him slumping back into the bed in disappointment and frustration. "Hey Sho, what's up? This isn't exactly a good time." He tried to rub the sleep from his face but it just hurt when tear crusted skin pulled uncomfortably.
"I'm sorry Midoriya, I just thought that-"
There was suddenly a commotion in the background on Shoto's side and then he could distinctly hear the voice of the one person he wanted to hear so badly screaming. "Oi! Ask that fucker where the hell he is!"
Izuku shot up once again, this time so fast he could feel the blood leave his head. "Kacchan! Kacchan is awake!? Sho!?"
"Well yes, we tried phoning you earlier but there was no answer. His parent's said that if you didn't answer in the next hour, they were going to drive over to you and drag you here. Katsuki has been pouting because you haven't been here."
He heard the voice of the blond once again in the background. "Fuck you! I was not pouting! Just tell that fucker to get his ass here!"
Izuku quickly scrambled from the bed, his movement's so hasty that he almost face planted into the floor. "I'll be there as soon as I can!" He ended the call, checked his notifications and sure enough there were a few missed calls and messages from Mitsuki, Shoto and the hospital itself.
With that he ran into the bathroom to quickly brush his teeth and get dressed. He rushed out of the apartment as fast as he was able to without using one of his many quirks. It took him all of 25 minutes to get from his apartment to the hospital. On his way to the hospital, his mind was in a whirlwind of thoughts.
Katsuki was awake, that meant that he was alive, and Izuku's heart burst with relief at that bit of information, but he couldn't let himself fully relax. He needed to know if the blond was completely okay and not still having issues. His heart raced with the thought of there being a possibility that there is still something wrong.
Once he had made his way inside the hospital, he made his way straight to the reception desk but he was stopped by a nurse. "Mr Midoriya! Hold on please."
He turned to look at her, recognizing her as the nurse that was there last night. He was feeling frantic with the need to get to Katsuki as soon as possible, so he tried to hide his nerves and answered her. "Yes?"
"Mr Bakugou has been moved to room B-24 on the second floor. They asked that I let you know."
He perked up at that information. "Oh! Um thank you miss!"
"Sure thing hon, better hurry, that man seemed quite impatient to see you." She then turned to walk in a different direction.
He felt his face flush at the words. Did Katsuki really want him there that much? He turned to the elevators and made his way to the new room as quickly as he could without causing a commotion in the hallways.
When he found the door labeled B-24, he stood in front of it for a few moments to work up the courage to face what could possibly be bad news. He knocked on the door and heard a gruff voice reply. "That better be you Deku! Get your ass in here!"
If Katsuki sounded so lively, that was good news and he smiled slightly before opening the door and stepping in and closing it behind him.
"It's about time you got your ass here!? Where the fuck were you!?" Katsuki was alone in the room and he was sitting up with his legs crossed on the hospital bed, the look on his face was odd though. He had his usual irritated scowl but there seemed to be what looked like guarded concern?.
Izuku quickly made his way to Katsuki, standing next to the bed. "Kacchan? What's wrong? Are you okay? What did the doctor say?" His frantic rambling of questions was tinted with tight worry, his chest constricting.
The blond leveled him with a look before speaking with a low strained tone. "Where were you, Izuku?"
"Huh?" Izuku blinked in confusion. "I was at home asleep, woke up when Sho-kun called me. Kacchan, are you okay? Please tell me." His voice became pleading.
"Oh for fucks sake Deku, I'm fine. Surgery went well and I just need a little bit of time to rest and allow my body to settle and finish healing, but I'm okay."
Izuku felt the tension in his shoulders release and roll away. "That's good to hear Kacchan, I was so worried about you. When I saw that knife, I was so scared and then I was told that you were still under risk and I couldn't keep myself calm. Your parent's sent me home and I kind of had a melt down so I passed out and I guess the stress made me oversleep and then-"
The sigh the blond let out stopped Izuku's rant. "Izuku." Katsuki relaxed his arms and rested his hands on his lap. The next words spoken were so soft that Izuku had to strain to hear them. "Don't leave my side…"
"Kacchan?" Izuku felt a pang of guilt shoot through him. "I'm sorry, Aunty sent me home and you know there is no fighting her."
Katsuki looked away, his hands clenching. "That's not what I meant, nerd. I mean don't leave me. I don't mean we have to stay next to each other all of the time, but just don't disappear out of my life okay. I just had this feeling and I couldn't get it out of my mind."
Izuku sat down on the bed next to the blond and let out a breath. "You're right though. My mind did take that turn for a bit last night, but then I remembered what you told me and the promise I made you." He smiled timidly before speaking again. "I don't think I could ever leave your side Kacchan, there's just something about you that always brings me back to you. I won't break my promise, but then you can't leave my side either, okay Kacchan?"
Katsuki brought his face back so that red looked into green with a look of resolution. "I will never break my promise either, and if I wasn't clear enough before, me staying by your side was part of that promise." He lifted his hand and grabbed Izuku's.
Feeling startled, Izuku glanced down at his hand grasped in the blonds then looked back up to him. "Kacchan?"
Katsuki closed his eyes and took a deep breath before looking at Izuku once again. "I haven't been completely honest with you and I need you to understand how I feel and know that it won't change my promise and I hope it won't change yours."
Izuku swallowed, feeling a nervous tick clench his jaw. "You can tell me anything Kacchan, and you're still going to be important to me."
"Would I still be important to you if I said I don't want to be friends anymore?" The look on his face left no place for doubt that he was being serious.
"Kacchan? You don't? Did I do something wrong?" Izuku could feel his hands start to tremble, worry and fear clouding his heart.
"No, I don't. I want to be more." There was now a nervous smile on Katsuki's face and Izuku wasn't sure what to make of it.
"More? I don't understand Kacchan?"
"I want you to be mine and I want to be yours." When Izuku gave him a puzzled look, he continued. "I know I'm not very good with words and I can't handle emotions as well as you and everybody else, but what I'm trying to say is that I want us to become more in a sense of…" His words were somewhat incoherent as he muttered quietly, Izuku unable to grasp them.
"I'm sorry, a sense of what Kacchan?" Izuku honestly had no idea where the other was going with this and he was getting more and more confused as the time ticked by.
"BOYFRIENDS!" Was the sudden yell that Katsuki let out. "I want us to become boyfriends!" His face had turned scarlet and he was looking away, his own hand holding the greenettes trembling as well. "You know, like dating, kissing and all that shit. I want us to be more together than what we are!"
Izuku was only able to sit there and stare at the blond in complete shock. It took some time for the words to register in his mind and then his face became just as scarlet as his. "Kac-Kacchan?! Boyfriends!?"
"You don't have to want the same thing, I understand if this makes you uncomfortable and I'm just hoping that we can stay friends. I just needed to get this off of my chest is all." Katsuki tried to pull his hand away but Izuku gripped it and pulled it towards himself. "Deku, let go."
Izuku felt his chest burst with warmth and something akin to butterflies storming against his ribcage, but he was certain he felt the same way. Sure, he may have never thought about it before, but when Katsuki told him how he felt, he couldn't help but feel that it was right and that he wanted the same thing. "Kacchan, I want the same thing!"
Red eyes shot to green in shock. "You-You do?"
"Yes!" Izuku took a moment to think before speaking again. "Well I didn't know that I did, but now that I'm thinking about it, I realize that I really do want it. I know this might sound unsure, but I feel really sure about it, so much that it's really shocking to think about. Does that make sense?"
"Not really, but I guess if you ain't against it, we could you know…" Katsuki shrugged his shoulders. "...We could take our time and see how it goes?"
It was so unlike the blond to seem hesitant about things that it made Izuku's chest squeeze. "We can definitely take our time and try, but you first need to get better and get out of here."
There was a new look of determination on Katsuki's face, his answer said with force. "I'll be out of here as soon as I can be!"
Izuku chuckled at Katsuki's eagerness. "Oh no Kacchan, you will be out of here when the doctor says you will be out of here. You need to heal properly."
The blond's shoulders slumped and there was a pout on his face as he grumbled under his breath.
"Don't worry Kacchan, we have more than enough time to figure things out, I promise." He knew what he was promising here. He was promising to stay by his side, promising him time that he would never know if he had, promising to stay alive so that they would have all the time in the world.
"You better keep that promise, shitty nerd." His look was gentle as he spoke, but full of emotions he would not share normally. "My shitty nerd."
The grin that spread across Izuku's face made his cheeks strain. "I will, Kacchan. My Kacchan"