Ch 4: This Will Be Tough
"Calm down Mrs Rose. Let me explain," The doctor said, calm hands held up in surrender.
Ruby forced herself to at least look calm and the doctor continued, "Your wife is going to be ok, she will just need bed rest and a little time. As for her pregnancy, one of the babies is weak but will be fine currently."
Her brows furrowed in confusion at him. That couldn't be right they had seen their doctor and they weren't having twins or anything. She interrupted him, "B…babies? As in… more than one? That…can't be right…"
He nodded, "Well, it's likely your doctor didn't see the other. It was an ectopic pregnancy. Meaning the egg was not in the womb like it should have been. It's very common to be missed and was the reason she was bleeding. Unfortunately, in those situations, it is always medical practice to terminate the pregnancy. We can't move the egg elsewhere and it won't succeed in coming to term. In your wife's case, it was in her fallopian tube right near her ovary and caused a fairly severe rupture. We went in and closed everything up but the ovary was also very damaged and we had to remove it. She's going to be tired and sore for a while but Weiss and the baby in her actual womb should pull through just fine. I'm sorry for your loss of the other baby."
Ruby was struggling to swallow all this information and it made her head spin overwhelmed. They had two babies and they lost one they didn't even know was there all because the baby was growing somewhere it wasn't supposed to be? She held her head and took a breath. Right now, she needed to focus on Weiss and the baby they had been planning for. She couldn't let herself think about the lost one right now or she might actually feel the devastation creep in, "Does she know yet?"
He shook his head, "No, she hasn't woken up yet from the procedure. We will go over it all with her once she is awake and coherent enough to process the information but you are welcome to go in and see her now. Can I assist you with anything else before I go? We called her doctor and he should be coming to do a check on her and the baby by the afternoon."
Ruby felt the urgent pull to go be at Weiss's side but first she got a pen from him and took a piece of offered writing material and scribbled a name and number down, handing it to him, "Please, call this number and let her know what's going on. I would call but I sort of broke my scroll."
She didn't wait for a reply before running through the room door. She closed it softly behind herself and stepped closer, her eyes taking in Weiss's still, sleeping form on the bed, the gentle beeping of her heart rate in the silence mixed with her wife's shallow, even breaths. Carefully, she pulled a chair close to the bed and held Weiss's hand, body trembling and resting her forehead against it as her shoulders began to shake. She was finally feeling the adrenaline and stress wash off enough for her fear for Weiss and the baby hit her full force without having to stay strong for anyone in this moment, allowing herself to be vulnerable while she didn't feel the pull to hide it in order to give Weiss support.
Tears of relief that her wife was going to be ok, whimpers at their weak baby inside her, crippling sadness at the loss of one even though it was news it was there at all, swallowed the younger woman as she let herself feel as quietly as she could. Weiss was going to be so upset when she found out about another baby and that it was gone and about the state of the one they still had and if she didn't let herself cry now she was not going to be able to be strong for her.
—-
Weiss had managed to sleep into the afternoon. With tired, worn out eyes and a body feeling full of lead, Ruby stepped out for a moment while a nurse came in, desperately needing something to keep herself awake. If it wasn't a hospital she would use her semblance so she could get back quickly but since it was she didn't want to risk a disturbance or any damages.
Luckily, there was a vending machine right at the end of the hall. She got a fruity energy drink from it, not desperate enough yet for coffee, and walked back. Even though she was gone for only a few minutes, sitting outside the room was Winter, the person she had asked the doctor to contact. Even if Ruby didn't want to see her, Winter and Weiss were extremely close and she knew Weiss would want her sister here.
She pushed her personal feelings about the woman aside and walked over. Now that she was closer, she could see the worry all over Winter, reddened eyes from crying before this moment and her fingers wringing together. Winter looked up quickly when Ruby came into her peripheral view, standing, "Ruby thank you for having me called! I…"
Ruby gave Winter's shoulder a light squeeze to calm her, not able to really be a support for this woman as well and wanting to conserve her energy to be prepared for when her wife woke and needed her, "She's going to be ok. I'm going back in. She's only allowed one visitor at a time and I want to be the one there when she wakes up but I'll let you know when she's awake and we have seen her doctor, ok?"
Winter nodded and sat back down. She wouldn't try to argue with Ruby, knowing Weiss would want Ruby there when she woke, not herself, but it didn't help who she felt right now. She tried to occupy herself with something while Ruby went back into the room and sat back down next to Weiss. The younger woman chugged the drink and was about to set the can aside when the thought of Weiss not liking that hit her. She didn't want Weiss to be riled when she woke so she got up and threw it away in the can near the door.
She came back to her seat and sat down heavily, resting her arms and head on the bed beside Weiss and rubbing her eyes and face, 'I just need to close them for a second… it's painfully bright in here and they sting…'
Silver orbs were covered by heavy lids as she rested her chin on her folded arms and simply listened to all the subtle noises in the room. It was a struggle but she managed to keep them closed without falling asleep, but barely. What brought her to return to full alertness was the feeling of a weak hand rest on the top of her head and softly tangle in her silky dark hair, slender shaky fingers lovingly and lightly scratching along Ruby's scalp as the woman's name was whispered into the air.
Her eyes shot open and she turned her head to look at those beautiful blue eyes, her own hand reaching and pulling Weiss's into her own, lacing their fingers together, "Weiss… you're finally awake. Thank goodness. I was beginning to really worry."
A loving and simple kiss was placed on the back of Weiss's pale hand and the older woman let out a shaky breath, her barely open lids felt so heavy and the room was only just barely in focus in her daze, the medicine in her IV keeping her lightly under sedation to deal with any pain, "Ruby…"
The scythe wielder instantly stood and held Weiss, hearing how dark and sad her tone was, knowing Weiss was only thinking the worst right now because she hadn't been able to get any news about herself and their baby yet. Fingers gripped into ruby's shirt behind her shoulders and the older woman began to shake, burying her face into Ruby's neck, Ruby holding her tightly against herself and giving soothing sounds as she kissed at Weiss's hair sweetly, succeeding to calm Weiss down enough to be able to let go and pull back.
Resting their foreheads together and holding Weiss's cheek, Ruby returned the sincere touches along Weiss's scalp and listened as she sniffled and tried to stop sobbing, "Just tell me Ruby… please…"
A gentle shake of her head was returned and her words were so gentle, even Weiss couldn't be irritated, "Not just yet Weiss. I think we should wait for your doctor. He's just waiting at the nurse's station for you to wake up."
Before Weiss could even try to muster up the ability to argue, Ruby reached and pressed the call button. When a voice came through the small speaker, she let them know Weiss was up and they said they would send her doctor right away. In the time it took Ruby to lean back down to her chair again, hand entwining again with Weiss, her ob-gyn doctor walked in, "Hello there Weiss. I'm sorry we are seeing each other under these circumstances. Before we talk about anything, I really want to check on your baby and I'm sure it will also help ease your worries."
The woman just nodded, biting her lower lip. He was rolling in a simple ultrasound machine. Ruby helped get the sheets out the way and helped her pull her gown out the way before taking her hand again. The cold gel was applied as he spoke, "Alright. Let's take a look and listen alright?"
Weiss was scared but the fact he was checking in gave her some confidence that the baby was at least still there. As the device slid along the gel, the whirling sound of a weak heartbeat filled the room when he located the baby, "There's your baby, weak but very much alive."
Weiss couldn't help the wave of emotions that swept over her and tears ran down her face. She was worried about the way the heartbeat sounded but so relieved the baby was alright. The doctor gave her a light smile, "Would you like to know the sex of your baby? I can tell you if you like at this point."
Weiss eagerly nodded, balled up fists rubbing at her crying eyes. If not for the nature of the situation, Ruby would have found it a bit of an adorable sight, but she knew there was still more information to come and she knew it was going to wreck this woman she loved so dearly. He turned the screen more to them and pointed out the small body, "That's your baby Weiss. It's a boy."
Weiss's arms hugged around herself as her lips tried to curl into a weak smile, still crying, "A…boy… and he's ok?"
Her doctor smiled and patted her hand with a nod, "He's going to be fine Weiss. You can relax about that."
The woman was so relieved she could barely keep it together. Though, she got very confused and concerned when she glanced over to Ruby, "Ruby he's g… Ruby? What is it?"
Ruby was definitely glad their son was ok, or rather ok enough to not be too worried at this present time, but her mind was saddened with the news Weiss has yet to be told, her mind wandering, was that baby also a boy? A girl? Should she rip the proverbial bandaid off and tell Weiss or let the doctors do it? 'I… can't… I don't want to… she's so happy right now… I don't want to be the one that brings her happiness crashing down… I can't do it,' her mind was racing, not even realizing her expression was darkened with the ache in her heart, nibbling on her lower lip roughly and looking in Weiss's direction but would not make eye contact.
"Ruby… say something please… you're scaring me… what's going on?" Weiss could feel her tired body tensing as her wife looked away and rubbed her own arm, seeing the obvious heartbreak on her face as she heard the pained whisper, "I… I can't be the one to tell you…"
Hands moved from around her lower body to gripping around her shoulders and clinging to herself, her trembling returning as her voice took on some of her old Schnee dominance, "Ruby Rose you tell me what's going on right now."
The doctor cleared his throat, "Weiss, you should know, all that bleeding was rather serious. You ended up in surgery to take care of the issue. They ended up having to remove a damaged ovary, repair a ruptured fallopian tube, and terminate your other baby because it was growing undetected in your fallopian tube very close to your ovary."
Ruby's eyes scrunched closed and she bit into her lip harder, a bit of blood drawn. She was too scared to see Weiss's expression but the suddenly elevated breathing she could hear told her she was right about how it would affect her wife. Weiss was staring wide eyed at her doctor, tremors gripping her body and her arms cling tighter to herself, a hand sliding to the medicated dull pain area, "I… had another baby... and it's gone… but… you never told me I had two…"
She was currently in shock, a ever growing painful throbbing in her chest that was causing her to suddenly breathe heavily, lungs responding to a panic that had not consciously set into her yet as her world around her felt like it had just slapped her into some surreal experience that she could not connect to, mind disassociated with the reality of the words. He gave her a sympathetic look, "It's easy to miss due to the location. But I could not have done anything for the baby Weiss. Those pregnancies have to be terminated because it is not possible to fix or bring to full term and it can be dangerous. I'm very sorry."
As her mind spiraled into a deep depression and her consciousness tried to grasp it all, her doctor stood, "I hate to do this now but I must be going Weiss. You have my number if you need anything. Your doctor for the hospital should be around in the morning to discuss your aftercare. Try to get rest and not get too stressed alright? Good evening."
When he went to the door, a cracked sorrowful voice asked, "D…did they say what it was…?"
He sighed, "Weiss, I don't think…"
"Tell me! Please…" She croaked out, fighting the crushing realizations as it finally poisoned her awareness fully.
He turned to her and answered before leaving, "It was a girl…"
The room was unpleasantly, uncomfortably, suffocatingly quiet beyond the noise of the machines and Weiss's emotional state. It was too much for ruby to handle, her heart crushing even further at the messy sputtering sobbing sounds coming from her wife who looked so broken and helpless where she sat, knees weakly pulling up to her chest and hugged into her body, face buried in them.
Ruby reached for her but Weiss jerked away, her voice sharp and full of agony that caused Ruby to flinch away, "Don't!"
The hand fell to Ruby's side once it had recoiled back from the verbal pain in Weiss's voice, as if cut by it, "Weiss I…"
Weiss tightened in on herself, anger starting to seat in with pain in her voice, "I can't believe you! You… you knew this whole time and couldn't even tell me?! Do you know how much harder that is to hear from someone else when my wife is sitting here and knows the whole time!?"
Ruby shrunk in her spot. It had been so long since the days Weiss made her feel so…small, barely able to speak up, "I couldn't…"
"What were you just going to let me go on not knowing until a doctor was available?! What's wrong with you…" at this point, Weiss's shoulders shook heavily and she couldn't bring herself to look up or at Ruby right now. It was all just so much to deal with and this just added to her already awful state of being and hormonal distress.
Ruby frowned, no longer fighting the tears from her own eyes as she stood up, "That's not fair Weiss! That was my baby too in case you forgot! You think it was easy for me either? I have spent hours so worried about how much this was going to hurt you! Hurt us! I was so worried about you I didn't, no I couldn't give you the bad news! But I sure would have figured it out if your doctor wasn't already ready to see you as soon as you woke up! Hell Weiss I don't even really fully understand it. How can you expect me to tell you and not mess something up and make it worse!? Weiss, my heart is breaking too and even more so for you seeing you like this."
She tried to move close again but Weiss's body flinched sharply and Ruby pulled back, her own tears blazing her hot cheeks. She felt so useless and insecure right now on top of everything else she was experiencing that she could already feel that painfully numb emotional rawness taking over her, protecting her from having to deal with all this hurt right now.
Weiss rolled to her side as she laid down, back to Ruby, a shaky voice losing its resolve in her anguish, "I can't do this right now Ruby… please… can you just… go away for a bit please… I just… I can't right now…"
Ruby swallowed hard, choking back more pain and nodded even though Weiss couldn't see her, "O-ok Princess… I'll be right outside…"
When Weiss heard the door close behind Ruby, her body curled into itself and she gripped her gown over her burning chest, eyes squeezed tightly shut as she sobbed deeply, letting go now that Ruby was gone.
Winter stood when Ruby came back out, panicked by the woman clearly filled with misery, "Is everything still alright? Are you alright?"
"No… I'm not. Not at all. Weiss is also a mess right now but you can see if she'll see you, she… kicked me out…" Ruby mumbled, dropping herself into a chair and pulling her knees up to hide behind.
Winter was confused. Weiss had not been cold like this to Ruby in years for the most part, aside from when Ruby's antics sort of had her asking for it but that was rare. She turned and considered knocking but instead just went in. At the sight of Weiss coiled up so sadly, Winter moved closer and slipped into the bed behind her sister, holding her close and stroking her hair, neither saying a word but Weiss was more than willing to accept her sister's loving care, needing it so badly from someone she trusted who wasn't making her feel so betrayed.
Weiss didn't have to tell Winter what happened. The military veteran had already squeezed it out of the doctor on his way out. Her heart bled for her little sister, unable to imagine the depths of her sadness and badly wanting to be there for her. Weiss choked out past her whimpering cries, "Oh Winter… I… it hurts so much…."
"Shhh Weiss. I know, I know. But you need to try to rest or your distress will hurt your baby…" Winter comforted, holding Weiss tighter carefully and staying with her until she wore herself out and back to sleep.