Most of Koko's nights were marked by shallow sleep that ended before Oldtown's 'sun' came on, but this particular one had her tossing and turning until light streamed in through the gap in her curtains.

"You're up later than usual," Nani commented while she made breakfast. "Did you sleep well?"

"No. Horribly."

"Something on your mind?" There was no mischievous light in her eyes to go along with the question. In fact, her expression was carefully neutral.

Either she's just casually curious, or she's trying really hard to pretend she is. "No," Koko said, quite honestly. For once, her thoughts were calm. There was still heat coursing through her body, but it seemed different. "My head feels…thick, actually. Fuzzy. Like I can't focus."

"Sounds like you need rest."

"Yeah, well, I tried."

She stayed just long enough to make two pieces of toast, then was out the door. All I need is a brisk jog to wake me up.

Unfortunately, she only made it halfway around the jogging track next to the gym before her lungs began to burn. That wasn't unusual these days, but it never happened this quickly.

Another ten minutes passed and Koko had to lean on her knees, panting. "What the fuck is wrong with me?" she muttered to herself. Less than twenty minutes of exercise, and she was reaching the point of utter exhaustion. Gasping for breath. Her muscles felt like jelly.

By the time she made it back to Nani's, her legs could barely hold her up. She staggered to the kitchen, chugged a glass of water, and promptly choked on it. If her chest hurt before, that was now magnified by about a hundred. She half expected to see blood on her hand from the coughing fit, but there was nothing. Only pain.

Vision hazy. Stumbling toward the hall. She blinked and it seemed to stretch out before her. Bed…so far away. Her head swiveled and she saw the couch. Much closer. Better than the floor, which wanted to swallow her up.

Somehow she made it those few steps but soon found that sleep was once again out of reach. She drifted in and out, hour after miserable hour. Every rattly cough was a spike driven through her chest. Her head was thick. Heavy. Aching. And hot. She was so hot. Sweat oozed from every pore and threatened to drown her. So hard to breathe…

Just a nightmare, like all the others. I'll wake up soon.

A sharp sound finally broke through the haze, followed by a softer noise. A voice? It took a few seconds to resolve.

"...last night. Never seen you lie around in the middle of the–" The voice cut off, soon followed by a cool hand on Koko's cheek. "Spirits, you're burning up."

Koko's only response was to suck in a strangled breath as well as she could manage. Wake up. C'mon, wake up. Please.

The fear began to rise. If this wasn't a dream, then that meant it was real. She was really choking. Drowning. Just like before. Was this it? Had karma finally come to collect on the debts she could never repay?

When Koko was mysteriously absent from her training session with Saph, Valen couldn't properly focus on his own bending with Zenya. Where was she? Was she okay? She took her responsibility as Saph's teacher very seriously, he knew. There would have to be a very good reason for her to miss it. Something with the Council, maybe? Or the school. Maybe Shylo had acted up again.

He was tempted to ask Opal—who appeared to be filling in—but refrained. Too many of his friends and family would give him those looks whenever Koko came up in conversation, like they were all waiting for something to happen between them. He'd certainly seen a couple of sideways glances after speaking privately with her at his birthday dinner.

At least Zenya doesn't read into every little thing I do. What does she know of these things? Next to nothing.

They had an hour of training, then it was time to go home and get dinner sorted. He'd started having to make two separate plates with each meal: one that Zenya would eat, and one that was actually good.

'Taste?' he asked, offering a bite from his plate, as was his habit now. Maybe persistence would eventually broaden her palette.

'No. Bad.'

"You're hopeless. Fine. Whatever. If you want to eat unseasoned chicken and plain rice for the rest of your life, knock yourself out. At least it's easy to make."

The phone rang just as Valen was clearing up afterward.

"Hey, it's Nani. I'm sorry to ask, since I know you have work, but is there any way you could get the afternoon off and train with Saph tomorrow? Koko's sick and Opal can't do it. Neither can I. The Council will pay you for your time."

Koko was too sick to train? Two days in a row? That was concerning. The stomach bug she'd gotten during their travels had barely slowed her down.

"Maybe. I'll have to ask my boss. Is she alright? Can't imagine anything keeping her away from the gym."

"She has pneumonia."

His heart thumped nervously. "What? That sounds really bad."

"Well, it's not great. But don't worry. It's really only dangerous for the very young or old, or people with weakened immune systems. She'll be okay with medicine and rest."

"Koko? Rest?" Valen joked, forcing out a laugh. "Let me know how that goes."

"Any progress with the question I posed last week?" Tolai asked.

Valen nodded. "Yeah. Sort of. I'm still not completely sure." Koko's response had rattled around his mind but he was still trying to figure out whether or not he agreed. Besides that, thinking about the question was now complicated by her very distracting face popping into his head, which was in turn complicated by worry about her health. "To be honest, I've had a lot on my mind."

"Unrelated things?"

"Yeah."

"Alright. Let's talk about those."

"Uh–" He forced out a pained chuckle and said, as a half-hearted joke, "Can't we talk about my trauma and grief instead?"

Tolai lifted a curious eyebrow. "Would you prefer that?"

"I was kidding. Mostly."

"You seem embarrassed."

She wasn't making fun, he didn't think, but she certainly had a way of unsettling him with her confident—albeit usually correct—assumptions.

"I'm not really sure how to explain it. I'm still relearning how to express myself with words."

"Don't worry," Tolai said with a touch of irony. "You're already three steps ahead of most men, in that regard." Under her breath, she muttered, "And some women, too."

Inevitably, that made him think of Koko. Again. She was already in his head, anyway. The 'unrelated things' he'd mentioned before were mainly her. Was she doing okay?

"Try picking one word," Tolai continued. "It doesn't have to encompass everything you're thinking and feeling. Just one word as a starting point."

"Alright. One word. Hm. Maybe…conflicted?"

She gave him an encouraging nod. "Now can you articulate the conflicting emotions?"

"Fear, I guess. And the other is–" He had to laugh at himself. "Natural urges? I dunno. I want to give myself some credit and say 'loneliness', but I have family and friends, and their company doesn't do anything to get rid of this feeling. Not like I hoped it would."

"I've treated several people who lost partners. Many ask the same question: 'How soon is too soon?' It's different for everyone. The desire for real intimacy usually doesn't go away, but taking that step can be challenging."

"Impossible, actually. That's how it feels. Kyori was it for me. She was the one. It was always her, ever since we were kids. Even when others distracted me, I always went back to her. And once we both decided to be all in, I didn't look at anyone else."

"But now you're looking?" Tolai guessed.

"I can't help it. It's like…not realizing how thirsty you are until you see water."

"So why not look? Or are you feeling guilty? Like you're being unfaithful?"

"No, it's not that. I know for absolute sure that Kyori would want me to move on. She'd actually be offended by the idea of me staying alone to 'honor her memory' or whatever." Because she told me that, very clearly, before she left for good.

"You said before that the other conflicting emotion is fear. Is that what's stopping you, then? Fear of loving someone new and losing them?"

Whether or not it was really there, Valen heard judgment in the question. "Is that really so irrational? It would break me. Again. How can I live with that constant fear overshadowing my life?"

"Don't you already? Your friends, family? Your daughter?"

"It's not the same," he muttered, though he wasn't exactly sure how.

"Most say it's worse to lose a child."

The sharp memory of total desperation flooded his mind. Zenya stolen. Missing. Only the hope that Koko provided had held him together. If she hadn't been there…

I don't even know. No. No, I don't want to think about it. It's too horrible. A flare of stubborn anger pushed aside the pain. "So what am I supposed to do then? Force myself into a relationship to overcome the fear?"

"This isn't a fear that can be conquered by brute force. You can only learn to live with it."

"What if I don't want to?"

Tolai shrugged. "It might not matter. The heart doesn't care what the mind wants or believes. It doesn't care whether you think it's better to take risks, or to play it safe to protect yourself. Unless you completely shut people out, your heart will make its own choice if the right person comes along and tugs on its strings."

"And what if that person doesn't know that she's pulling? What if she's a thousand miles away, emotionally, and doesn't have a clue what kind of effect she has on the people around her?"

The sudden frown on Tolai's face wasn't what he expected. She blinked a couple of times, then shook her head. Her expression relaxed. Perfectly neutral. "Have you considered talking to her about it?"

He tossed his head in annoyance. "I've noticed you like to answer questions with new questions."

"That's because I don't have all the answers. You have the answers. I'm just here to help you find them."

Valen's burst of irritation evaporated; Tolai was so straightforward. "Talking to her about this would be pointless. I know where she stands." He sat back and exhaled forcefully. This conversation was taking a lot out of him. "Anyway, it's just an attraction. I'll get over it. It's not like I'm in love with her. We're friends. That's enough for me."

The lights were too bright. Koko wasn't in her bedroom at Nani's house, where the curtains were usually drawn to create a permanent twilight. This room had a sharper, more chemical smell. People coming and going. Several times, she was sure she saw Valen, but he was always walking away.

Would this nightmare ever end? The suffocation came in waves, then faded for a while, but mostly it was just vague, indefinable misery. Heat, throbbing, coughing, stabbing, dull aches, more coughing, and more heat. Sleeping, waking, it was all the same.

As had happened several times before, Nani—or a ghoulish dream-version of her—appeared and thumped Koko's chest with a small tool. The result was more coughing and razor-sharp mucus that came up just far enough to swallow.

Nani's cold hand pressed against her cheek once the fit was over. "How are you feeling?"

"Terrible," Koko rasped.

"Just hang in there, okay? You've got a nasty bacterial infection, but you're responding well to the antibiotics. Just try to rest and let your body fight this."

"Am I– dying?" Is this even real? Or just a nightmare?

"No, you're not dying. You're just sick. But you'll get better. All you need to do right now is rest. I'm going to give you a sedative, alright? It'll help you sleep."

"No… Don't…" Amrit will get me if I sleep too deeply.

But he got her long before that. He was there, waiting for her in the dark. Hands with rotten flesh wrapped around her throat, his bloody neck eternally leaking. For hours or days, Koko struggled in his grip, unable to scream.

And then suddenly there was nothing. The pain was gone along with everything else. Blissful oblivion.

After once again failing to help Saph make any progress with earthbending, Valen was feeling a little down. And he was worried about Koko, despite Nani's assurances. Would the lung injury make it harder for her to recover?

He passed that restaurant on his way home—the one they'd gotten takeout from a few days ago before visiting the surface. Koko seemed to know it well, so she must eat there a lot. Without much thought, he went inside and perused the menu for something a sick person would be able to eat.

Soup. Soup is a good idea.

"What can I get for you?" the man at the counter asked.

"Do you know Koko? The woman with the–" Valen tapped his forehead.

"Yeah, sure, she's been coming for years. Good customer."

"Does she ever get soup?"

"Usually meaty dishes with noodles. Hearty stuff. But I think she's gotten the egg drop soup on occasion." He smirked at Valen. "You sweet on her or something? Brave man."

"Just a friend."

"If you say so, buddy. But if you're trying to impress her, I'd go with the chicken satay with peanut sauce."

Valen suppressed a groan; he couldn't even catch a break from strangers. "I'll take the soup."

"Eh, suit yourself."

On the way to Nani's house, Valen began to feel a tad ridiculous. What had started out as a simple, kind gesture was now tainted by the teasing comments that man had made. Why did everyone assume the same damn thing?

Would Koko think it was weird that he was bringing her soup?

He nearly turned around to go home, but he wanted to see how she was doing. Nothing wrong with being concerned for a friend. Nothing at all.

Nani answered the door, hair wet and eyes heavy with fatigue. "Valen? What's up? Everything okay?"

"Yeah. Sorry, did I wake you up?"

"It's alright. What did you need?"

"Uh– I got soup." He held it out sheepishly. "For Koko. From that restaurant she likes. Chang's. I thought it might be helpful, since she's sick. Figured neither of you would feel like cooking."

"Oh, that's so nice of you. Thank you. I'll take it to her when I go back to work."

"She's not here?" Valen said, a little disappointed. He wasn't entirely sure why. She wouldn't have been in any mood to chat even if she were home.

"No, at the medical center. I only came back for a quick rest."

"Shit. I didn't realize it was that serious."

"Don't worry. Mainly, she's there so that her oxygen levels can be monitored. And it's easier to keep her hydrated and administer drugs through an IV. She's on a strong antibiotic and her white blood cell count is up. There's no reason to be concerned."

All the medical talk made his eyes glaze over. "I'll take your word for it. Anyway, sorry I woke you up. I'll let you get some rest."

Not since getting injured had Koko felt so helplessly weak. This time, she was lying on a soft but cold mattress rather than the hard ground. Comfortable, yet not.

Whatever nightmare she'd just been trapped in was certainly worse than the others. The sensations were taking far too long to fade even while the details were hazy. Fear and pain and shapeless horrors. Children screaming and a sense of being chased.

Koko's eyes cracked open to reveal a dim hospital room. For a few baffling seconds, she was flung into the past. Republic City. Her hand lifted to touch the faint bump on her skull where that pro-bending disc had knocked her out. It didn't hurt anymore.

It's just an old scar.

Her room was shared with another person in a nearby bed, about five feet away. Apparently unconscious. As those details clarified, Koko became aware of others. She had a thin, plastic tube wrapped under her nose and a needle stuck into her hand. And she was cold . So fucking cold. The bed felt like a block of ice.

What happened to me? Am I old? Has the rest of my life passed me by while I wasted away in here?

She studied her trembling hands. No wrinkles. Still young. Youngish, anyway.

Even so, she was too weak to lift her head, much less sit up. Her chest felt just like it had after being stabbed. Burning. Every breath was–

The inhale tickled her throat and launched her into an excruciating coughing fit. Mucus that seemed to have bits of glass in it tried to come out, but she didn't have the strength to get it all the way up. All she could do was desperately try to suck in air.

Instinct kicked in and Koko forced herself to stillness. She held her breath and focused on slowing her heart rate. Blood thundered in her ears. She was underwater. Have to let go. Have to surrender. Accept death.

Chi pooled into her light chakra. This was it. This was the moment. Succeed or die.

No! I'm at the medical center!

At the very last moment before disaster struck, Koko let the energy dissipate. Her body still took that much-needed breath, but all that happened was a few more painful coughs. Some of the mucus released. She could breathe a little easier.

A few minutes later, the door opened.

"Hey, you're awake," Nani said, far too cheerfully. "How are you feeling?"

Koko could only shake her head, worried that speaking would make her cough again.

"Are you still feeling hot?"

Another head shake, more vigorous.

"Cold? Yes? Okay, I'll get rid of the ice packs, then. We had a hard time getting your fever down." Her hand appeared on Koko's forehead, warmer than usual. "But I think it's broken now."

Nani continued to putter around, making the occasional comment. At least she didn't seem to expect a response.

"In case you were wondering, it's been two days."

Two days? That can't be right. I was sure it was weeks.

"You've only got mucus in your right lung, so it's pretty likely that the tissue damage from your injury is related."

Fucking fantastic.

"Oh, by the way, Valen stopped by the house yesterday. He brought some egg drop soup from Chang's. I can heat it up for you if you've got an appetite."

Koko nodded that time. Valen brought me soup?

She wasn't at all sure how she felt about that. His concern made her nervous. Was that how he was with everyone? His 'dad' instincts kicking in? Or was it something more?

I hope it's not, because he'll be disappointed.

And yet, as she ate—propped up and barely able to lift the spoon to her mouth with a shaky hand—a familiar warmth returned to her. This time, it was in her whole body, not just pooled in uncomfortable areas. And it was far greater than what the soup alone could've provided.

Koko knew that feeling, and not just as something recent that had been ignored and repressed. Kiriko had felt it. Reveled in it. Wallowed in it.

Fuck. I don't want this. I don't want to feel this. Not again.

"I think your kid hates me," Nik said.

Valen glanced over his shoulder at Zenya, who was sprawled on the floor, hungrily studying the worksheets they'd gotten at that afternoon's sign language class. "She doesn't hate you. She just doesn't know you."

"She barely acknowledges that I exist."

"You should be used to that by now," Valen joked.

"Ooh, below the belt." He laughed and shook his head. "I imagine Koko's been giving her lessons on how to freeze people with a look."

Whenever her name came up around Nik, Valen put all of his walls up—and tried to do so without making it obvious. Nik was too smart and too observant for his own good. Or anyone else's good. It was a miracle he hadn't commented on Valen having a private conversation with Koko at the birthday dinner.

"Oh, hey," Nik began, leaning forward on his arm. "Speaking of the Ice Queen…"

Great. Here we go.

"She had some words with me at your party the other night. I mean, I'll be the first one to admit that I deserved it. Don't ask. My point is, I pushed her hard enough that she pushed back and insulted my intelligence by insinuating that I forgot your birthday."

"Didn't you?"

"What? You thought that, too? Damn it. Of course I didn't forget! I was gonna surprise you. I had it all planned out. Blindfold. Handcuffs– No, sorry, wait. That was someone else. But I was gonna sneak in here and scare the shit out of you. But Nani ruined it by telling me about her plans an hour beforehand. Like I was an afterthought! Can you believe it?!"

"You're lucky she did, because you would've scared Zenya and she doesn't hold back when she thinks she's in danger."

"Hm." Nik glanced over at her. "You may have a point there."

"For a genius, you can be a real idiot sometimes."

"Listen, I'm still getting used to the idea of you having a teenage daughter. It just happened overnight. For me, anyway." He barked out a laugh. "Honestly, my worst nightmare. Some bird showing up on my doorstep with a kid, ten plus years after the fact."

"Really? I figured you'd be happy about that."

"Fuck, no! I'd be pissed. I'd want to know right away."

"Oh," Valen laughed. "I see."

"Don't get me wrong. I do not envy you, my friend. I wouldn't wanna do it alone. But I also wouldn't want to miss everything and have the kid think I'm a deadbeat or something."

"If you actually want to settle down with a wife and have kids, then why don't you? Why do you still act like a twenty-year-old?"

Nik was the only person he felt comfortable being so harsh and blunt with. They'd always been like that. Picking at each other. Messing around. Even when Valen tried to be serious, Nik would find some way to make a joke out of it.

"Ah, you don't get it. This place, we may call it a city to make ourselves feel better, but it's not. It's a small town. And let me tell you, I've done some damage. Irreparable damage." He howled like it was the funniest thing he'd ever said. "I'd be laughed outta town if I tried to get serious with anyone. It's fine. I've accepted my lot in life."

It's probably for the best, Valen mused, though he sensed that maybe Nik wasn't as content as he pretended to be. He's still way too immature for that life.

"You think you'll do it again?" Nik asked. "I got a few friends I could introduce you to if you're tired of sleeping alone. You interested?"

"Nah. I'm good. I'm not ready to move on, so don't try to set me up with anyone."

Nik shrugged like he didn't care, which was odd. Like Nani, he was the type to push. The adventurous one who always made Valen step outside his comfort zone.

"Alright, no pressure." He finished his drink and let out a contented sigh. "Speaking of not sleeping alone, I promised someone a good time tonight, so I'm gonna head out."

After he left, Valen sat there and stared at the wall for a while. Daydreaming. Going out on a date with a random woman was just about the last thing he wanted to do. Casual dating came with all kinds of uncomfortable expectations. A goodnight kiss? A second date? Exclusivity or not? Too many factors with someone brand new.

I like hanging out with Koko, though. It's not always easy, but I enjoy her company. She doesn't expect anything from me. She doesn't expect more than I'm willing to give.

But if I could just kiss her once, just to remember what kissing feels like…

The thought blew through his mind like a gale, leaving him breathless. Those sorts of daydreams were usually forbidden. She was just…so damn beautiful. He really tried not to think about that because it pushed everything else away, which was a shame. There was so much more to her. And so much more to learn. She was finally starting to trust him, opening up a little here and there.

And he knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that if his conflicted feelings ever became known to her, every crumbled wall would go back up in an instant.

"While your recovery has been remarkably fast," the doctor said, "I have to be frank that you might not always be so lucky, especially as you age."

Now able to take short walks through the halls, Koko was more than ready to leave the medical center. But the doctor standing across the table from her wasn't finished. The two of them were in a consultation room with one of those backlit boards to see x-rays.

"I'm particularly concerned with this area, here," he continued, gesturing with his index finger. "There's a lot of tissue damage from your injury. You're going to be at higher risk for subsequent lung infections, as well as lung cancer."

This news was as bad as anything she'd imagined on her own. Permanent damage that would stay with her for the rest of her life. Weakened. Forced to stay in Oldtown, the only place in the world with adequate medical care.

"Are there any options to fix it?" Koko asked with rapidly diminishing hope.

"My recommendation is surgery to remove the scarred tissue. If successful, you'll have slightly reduced lung performance but should otherwise be able to live your life normally."

"What–" She had to stop and cough. It still felt like daggers, but was rattly now rather than majorly congested. "What kind of surgery?"

"Two years ago, we would've had to open you up, but with Mr. Varrick's help, we've developed a much less invasive procedure."

"Mr.—? Oh. You mean Nik. Great. I'll never hear the end of it."

The doctor narrowed his eyes as if unsure how to respond to that. "The procedure involves several small cuts. We insert a tube with a camera on the end, which assists the surgeon. As the affected area is quite small, the surgery should be straightforward. Recovery time is approximately one week. However, that can be significantly reduced with waterhealing therapy."

Koko sat back with the strong urge to sigh in frustration, but breathing too deeply would be a mistake. "Is that it then? Is that my only option? Otherwise I'm just going to keep getting sick?"

"Most likely, yes. I'm sorry I don't have better news." He handed her a packet of papers. "Look over the info at home. While you rest . I'm aware that you're fond of exercise, but I would advise against it for at least another week. Don't push your body further than it can go. You probably wouldn't be in this position if you'd allowed yourself more time to recover from the initial injury."

She very nearly growled at him. As it was, her fists clenched and she leaned forward. "I didn't have a choice. We were barely thirty miles away from the largest blue sage fortress in the eastern hemisphere, and they knew we were there."

"I understand, but it doesn't change the truth." He gave her another stern look. "Go home. Rest. Let me know what you decide about the surgery."

After two more excruciating days of resting , Koko was ready to pull her hair out. And she wasn't the only one.

"Go take a walk!" Nani said in a moment of frustration. "You're making me nervous, pacing around all the time like a caged animal. And you're so grouchy, snapping at every little thing I say. I can't take it anymore."

"I'll just go to the gym." Valen's probably there waiting for me to show up, anyway. "I feel fine." Of course, her body betrayed her by letting out a rattly cough.

"Don't overdo it!"

"Yes, Mother."

But Koko opened the door to find an unexpected visitor, who was currently raising her fist to knock.

"Ah, good, you're here," Zhu Li said. "Can we speak privately?"

Koko was baffled. Zhu Li always summoned her and never made house calls.

"Okay…? Come in, I guess."

"Mom!" Nani exclaimed with wide eyes. "What– What are you doing here?"

"I'm here to speak with Koko. Could we have a moment?"

"Um–" That seemed to flummox her. "Sure… I'll just be in my room." Actually, she looked vaguely offended as she walked away, perhaps at being exiled from her own living room by her mother.

"What's going on?" Koko demanded.

"I see you're in one of your moods. That won't do you any favors going forward. And I'm not talking about with myself. You're on thin ice with the other council members."

"You came here to scold me for how I talk to them? Seriously? Why does it matter?"

"It matters because if three of them decide you're not fit to be Saph's Protector, then you will be removed from the position. Yanyu's aware of your medical situation and has used it as leverage to sway Yao to her way of thinking. I doubt Ido will budge, so she'll be going after Tiam next."

"That insufferable tart," Koko growled, though it was ruined by a brief coughing fit. "How did Yanyu find out? I thought medical records were protected by law?"

"Usually, that's the case, but she exploited a loophole. I won't bore you with the details. She's done nothing illegal, even if it is unethical for her to use the information to further her agenda."

A wave of exhaustion rolled over Koko and she fell into the nearest chair. "I hate politics."

"You could always resign," Zhu Li said with a wan smile.

"Over my dead body. Ugh. Okay. What can we do? I know you wouldn't have come here unless you had more than a vague warning."

Zhu Li sat primly on the edge of the couch, facing Koko at an angle. "I do have a plan, but you have to keep it secret." Her voice lowered. "Even from Nani."

"Especially from Nani," Koko muttered.

"We've been working on an emergency plan in the event the blue sages infiltrate the city. Unlikely at this time, I know, but I managed to convince the others that we need a contingency, just in case. You'll be told about this—officially—at next week's meeting."

"I assume it boils down to me getting Saph out of the city?"

"Yes. And that's also what you will do if the Council votes to remove you."

Koko blinked and replayed those words in her head, just to make sure she hadn't hallucinated them. "Why? Why are you doing this? I know you support me, but I can't see you committing political suicide for my sake."

"Not for your sake. For the Avatar. If Yanyu gets her way and replaces you, she'll install someone she can control."

"Power-hungry bitch."

"Her motivations aren't as selfish as they may seem. She acts out of fear, not malice. She doesn't trust you."

"Tell me something I don't know." Koko shook her head. There were too many problems with this plan. "What if this actually happens? I won't be able to come back. I'd probably be arrested for kidnapping Saph."

"Not if she's sixteen. I did some digging and found my own loophole. In the case of transferred custody—typically from one parent to another after a divorce—sixteen-year-olds can choose between them. Now, it's a bit tricky because the residency agreement does state that the custody transfer is irreversible, but I'm confident that a judge would rule that this particular legal code supersedes contracts.

Koko barely understood what she was saying. "That…does not inspire a lot of confidence."

"I know what I'm doing. Also, there's an election next summer. Yanyu has been losing public support. I doubt she'll get reelected." Zhu Li stood and smoothed her clothes. "Well, that's all I had to say. Think about it. Ultimately, you'll need to decide how far you're willing to go to protect Saph, even if it's only from us evil politicians."

Confident that Koko was recovered enough to show up to their weekly training session—or at least confident that she believed she was recovered enough—Valen got to the gym earlier than usual. Surely she'd be eager to get moving after being ill.

Thirty minutes passed. An hour. He looked at the clock on the wall. Nine o'clock.

If she was coming, she'd be here by now.

Ugh, this is boring. I would've brought Zenya if I thought Koko wouldn't be here.

A mixture of annoyance, embarrassment, disappointment, and concern made him gather his things and leave. Was Koko still feeling sick? Or worse: Had his gesture of soup upset her? Did she read something into it that made her pull away?

Did I go too far?

Koko glanced around the main room of the gym. She wasn't looking for Valen. Definitely not. She was just scoping out a good space to train. Maybe a private room would be better. People expected a certain level of intensity from her and the last thing she needed were rumors that she was weakened.

I guess I'll stay out here for a little while. That way, Valen won't think I'm avoiding him if he shows up. He's used to seeing me here all the time.

An hour passed. Koko didn't like the disappointment creeping up her spine. Wispy fingers grabbing the back of her neck. That was how it felt—like she was about to be strangled from behind. This whole situation was unsettling. Why couldn't things just be simple? Easy.

He'd made his position quite clear, as had she. He may not be immune to her appearance—and that, at least, was mutual—but his dead wife still held his heart, and always would.

Why should I even consider letting myself get attached to someone with that kind of baggage? He's just lonely. I can't give him what he's looking for, emotionally or physically. What he really wants is to have Kyori back.

Maybe he'd realized that, Koko reflected. Maybe that was why he hadn't come today. Had he been worried about her when she was sick? Had it been a wake-up call for him? Made him realize he was giving some very mixed signals?

Koko was now struggling to get enough air, despite having spent her time doing little more than warm-ups and basic forms. Every five minutes or so, she had to stop and cough. She left in a huff, mad at the world. Mad at her own weakness. Mad at him for reverting her thoughts to those of a sixteen-year-old.