Disclaimer: I do not own The Fairly OddParents. This is a fan-made reboot of the original animated series. The Fairly OddParents belong to Nickelodeon and Butch Hartman.

The Fairly OddChildren

Chapter 11 – The Fairy Hunter

It was late one afternoon at Dimmsdale Elementary, where Mr. Crocker's 5th Grade class was doing show-and-tell. For Francis, the local school bully, he had brought his dog, Mange. He then showed what the dog ate, a jar filled with 1st Graders. "They keep his pelt shiny," said Francis as the other kids gasped. Chloe gulped as she nervously glanced towards the most popular girl in school, Trixie Tang, whom Timmy has a huge crush on. "I'm so nervous after seeing that," she whispered to the tall ten-year-old. "Don't remind me," Trixie whispered back. She then thanked Chloe for clarifying the popularity chart's irrelevance for the entire school system. "Thanks to you, I can finally talk to other people without feeling pressured into the so-called popular crowd." Chloe then noticed that Timmy had his eyes on Trixie and ended up giving him a stern look. "Don't make me have to hurt you," said Chloe, scolding him. "Just focus on show-and-tell please." "Right," he said, pulling out a box and revealing an extinct Pollywallyoptasaurus. The dinosaur spat in his face, causing him to yell, as the saliva got in his left eye. Chloe slapped her hand on her face in embarrassment. "Good grief," she said, pulling out her stuffed teddy bear, Mr. Huggyface. "Thank you, Francis. That was riveting," said Mr. Crocker with Mange biting his leg. "Can you guess what letter dog starts with?" Francis guessed D and ended up getting that on his show-and-tell report card. "Chloe Turner, you're up next, Ms. Sunshine." Chloe stood up in front of the class and revealed her new teddy bear, Mr. Huggyface. She hugged it and the voice box exclaimed, "I love you." "I love you, too," she said in reply. "Aw," cooed Trixie as she found the bear adorable. Mr. Crocker gave Chloe a B, since that was what bear started with. He then asked for her brother, Timmy, to come up and present his show-and-tell item.

He ran up to the front of the class and began a speech. "Fellow students, behold the glory of when the world was young, and dinosaurs walked across Pangea," he said pulling out the dinosaur that he wished up thanks to his fairy godparents. Chloe started to swear nervously, due to having Cosmo and Wanda possibly being found out. "Dude, what's with the chicken?" asked Chester. "It's not a chicken," said Timmy about to explain what it was. Mr. Crocker was surprised to see an actual Pollywallyoptasaurus in his classroom. "A dinosaur? Extraordinary," said Mr. Crocker as Timmy continued his show-and-tell spiel. "No normal child could have access that type of genetic technology. There's only one logical explanation. FAIRY GODPARENTS!" The dinosaur spat in Mr. Crocker's face, causing the other kids to laugh, including Chloe, who fell over in her chair. The Pollywallyoptasaurus leaped out of Timmy's hand and out of the classroom. Mr. Crocker stopped Timmy and suggested that he bring his parents the following morning to speak with him about his show-and-tell item. Chloe gulped nervously upon hearing his comment, knowing that neither of their parents would believe them.

Later that night, Timmy voice-chatted his friends on his computer. "Dudes, you got to help us find my show-and-tell thing," said Timmy. "You mean the chicken?" asked A.J. from his laboratory bedroom. "It's not a chicken, A.J., that's the very thing I'm scared of," said Chloe. "It was my, uh… Uncle's dog in a Pollywallyoptasaurus suit," said Timmy as Chloe slapped her hand on her face. "And I got to get it back." "We're on it, dude," said Chester as waved to Chloe before ending his call. Chloe then forcefully ended Timmy's call as A.J. asked why no one said goodbye before they hung up. "Idiot. How are we going to explain this to mom and dad, huh? They'd never believe us!" said Chloe feeling incredibly stupid. "We're really sorry about make show-and-tell day a mess, kids," said Wanda. "Yeah. Come on, hit me and make a mess out of me," said Cosmo, trying to cheer them up, transforming into a piñata. "Give me a bat," said Chloe. Wanda made a bat appear through the magic of her wand. Chloe grabbed the wand and got ready to hit Cosmo and knock the candy out of his piñata form. "Oh, who am I kidding? This whole thing has turned into a huge mess ever since Mr. Crocker stopped you from chasing after the Pollywallyoptasaurus that you wished up." Wanda then suggested that both she and Cosmo pose as their parents and talk to Mr. Crocker for them. "That's a great idea," said Timmy. "It was my idea," said Cosmo, trying to take the credit. "I wish you guys could pose as our parents," said Timmy. The fairies made themselves taller and lost their crowns, wings and wands, since they were both humans now. Cosmo landed on his own crown, causing his butt to hurt. "Yippee. That hurt," he said. Timmy told him that he was supposed to say ouch if he got hurt. "Wow. The plan's already falling apart," said Wanda, who got the hang of being a human a little bit better than her husband. "Where's the bat?" asked Timmy, searching for the bat his sister threw down.

Timmy then explained with the bat that both Cosmo and Wanda needed act as human as possible if they were going to pose as his and Chloe's parents. "Okay," said Cosmo before letting out a burp and a fart. "What's next?" "This," said Wanda as she made a china fan appear with her magic. "No, Wanda. No magic. Humans can't do magic," said Timmy. "Oh? What about those guys with the white tigers in Las Vegas? They had those sequined shirts and they could do magic," said Cosmo before he ended up running short of breath due to talking so fast. He ended up collapsing on the floor when Chloe jumped on him and started ringing his neck for him to breathe. "Breathe, you idiot! You have lungs now! Humans have to breathe!" she said in frustration. "You mean all the time?" asked Wanda. "Ugh! You guys, follow us. We'll work on some other human stuff," said Timmy as he and Chloe walked out the door. Cosmo and Wanda tried to walk through the wall, but ended up hitting their heads and falling to the floor in a daze. Timmy explained that they were solid and had to use the door like every other human now. Later on, Wanda complimented on how fun being a human was while in the Turners' car's driver's seat. Timmy and Chloe grabbed their seats in terror from Wanda's bad driving. "Look how many friends you're making," said Cosmo, referring to the disgruntled people shouting at them. "Look, just worry about making friends with Mr. Crocker," said Chloe. "Even though you haven't nailed down… being… human… yet," said Timmy as Wanda hit a lot of bumps, dragging a telephone pole behind the car.

"FAIRY GODPARENTS!" Crocker screamed into a tape recorder back at the school for an audio journal. "After all the years of searching, I finally found proof of the existence of FAIRY GODPARENTS!" Chester and A.J., who were dressed up in hunting gear, peered into the classroom and brought out a chiming cuckoo clock, showing that they thought their teacher was crazy. They laughed and ran off. Crocker hid under his teacher's desk after hearing the clock go off. He checked around for anything suspicious before going back to recording his audio journal. "Only magical creatures could have created that dinosaur. Now it's my chance to wash the stench of 'fairies don't exist' off me forever. Whether it was Harvard, New Baltimore Community College, or right here at Dimmsdale Elementary, I've always been the butt of many a cruel joke due to my so-called crackpot theories on the existence of… FAIRY GODPARENTS!" He remembered one time when a teacher and the school principal, Principal Waxelplax were making a lightbulb joke about him while at a water cooler. "How many crackpots, I mean, Crockers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?" asked the teacher. "I don't know," said Principal Waxelplax. "Who cares? Crocker's nuts," the teacher replied as the two ladies laughed with Crocker stomping away from the water cooler. That one joke really made the fifth grade teacher bitter towards those who didn't believe in his theories about the existence of fairies.

"I must prepare FOR THE FAIRIES! To the Crocker Cave!" he said to himself as he made his way to an old phone booth in the janitor's closet. He was busy talking to himself that he failed to see his hand getting caught in the door as he closed it. "After I capture the Turners' fairies and harness their magical powers for my own use…" He slammed his fist on the roof of the booth as he spoke, since his base was so tightly enclosed. "I'll get not only the proper equipment but also the respect and…" He then hit his head against the glass of the booth trying to do a fist pump. "Admiration that have so long eluded me." He hit his head against the roof of the booth trying to sound extremely sinister. As he was imagining himself as the new ruler, he heard a cuckoo clock chime again. "Where is that coming from?" He slid down to the floor of the booth and pulled out his fairy tracker, a device that he uses to track the magic emitted by fairies. "Timmy and Chloe's fairy godparents will never be able to escape the ever-vigilant eye of my FAIRY FINDER! Patent pending." He turned on the device, which showed him a video feed of Cosmo and Wanda as humans driving the Turners' car with Timmy and Chloe along with them. "Many of my fairy oriented traps are bound to expose them for the fairies they truly are. FAIRIES!" As he jumped, the booth landed on its side, causing Crocker to hurt himself. Just then, the cuckoo clock chimed again, much to the teacher's annoyance.

The fairies arrived at the school with the telephone pole still being dragged behind the car. "Where should I park?" asked Wanda. Cosmo looked at various signs until spotting a make-shift Fairies sign in the parking lot. "Park there! Park in the fairy space!" said Cosmo, unaware that Crocker was watching their every move from behind a bush next to the sign he put up. "If they park in the FAIRY space, it will be all the proof the world will need," said Crocker, thinking his plan was fool-proof. "Wait! It's a trap!" screamed Chloe, as she forcefully took the wheel and made them park in the Teachers space. Back in the school hallway, Chester and A.J. were chasing the Pollywallyoptasaurus that belonged to Timmy with Chester holding a net to capture it. Before they could make any progress, though, Crocker asked them why they were at school so early. A.J. explained that they were looking for Timmy's show-and-tell project. Crocker immediately understood what was going on and let go of the boys. "Timmy's parents and I are having conference. Why don't you bring the project to me, and I'll give the project to him for you?" he asked slyly. "Done and done," said Chester, shaking his teacher's hand.

Crocker immediately sat down at his teacher's desk at the front of the classroom, waiting for Timmy and Chloe to arrive with their fairies. Timmy and Chloe entered the class while Cosmo and Wanda were walking with their backs to each other. "I think we finally got this walking thing down, you two," said Cosmo. "Just play it cool," said Timmy. As the teacher went to greet them, Wanda took his hand and tossed him across the room like a martial artist. "Sorry, Mr. Crocker, our mom's just a bit enthusiastic about, uh, meeting an educator of your status," said Chloe nervously with sweat running down her face. Later, Crocker set up a specialized electric fairy detector chair. "If they survive, they're FAIRIES! If they don't, I HAVE TENURE!" said Crocker. He then offered Cosmo to sit in the chair he set up. "May I offer you a fish?" asked Cosmo and he presented a fresh fish to the teacher. He ended up slipping backwards into the chair, electrocuting the fish, turning it into fish sticks. He took one and started eating it. "I'll be right back after I chip off the dead skin," said Crocker walking away. "I think he's suspicious, so be on your toes," said Timmy. The fairies stood on their toes and ended up falling flat on their faces. Chloe slapped her hand on her face. "We're doomed," she said.

Back in the hallway, Chester and A.J. saw the dinosaur eating out of a trashcan. "On three," said Chester, getting ready to catch it in the net. The boys ran towards it as soon as he said the number. The Pollywallyoptasaurus in defense, spat out milk pellets towards them. "Take cover!" said A.J. as Chester held up his friend as a shield. The dinosaur ran into the girls' restroom, where they stopped in front of, as it was against the rules for boys to enter said bathroom. The two argued over who would be the one to go in to get the dinosaur. While they were arguing, Crocker offered Cosmo and Wanda coffee. "Take the cup," said Timmy. Cosmo and Wanda drank out of the cups as Crocker politely asked if there was anything that would like with their coffee. Back in the hall, Chester and A.J. were still arguing over who would go into the girls' restroom. "Look, let's both go in and get out before any girls show up, especially that one girl that Timmy likes," said Chester, referring to Trixie. "Good plan!" said A.J. charging in. "Sucker," said Chester, before being dragged in by A.J. to get their friend's project.

Back in the classroom, Cosmo and Wanda were extremely high on caffeine due to the coffee they were drinking. "Where do they get this stuff?" asked Cosmo, bouncing up and down like a maniac. "Colombia," said Crocker. "Oh, we should go there, it's the best, we can go there now," said Wanda, also bouncing up and down until she felt pressure in her human bladder. Crocker offered to show her to the bathrooms. She saw three bathrooms, which were the boys', the girls' and one made by Crocker himself, the Mystical Creatures bathroom. She was about to enter the third option when the twins heard their principal making her morning rounds. "Good morning, Timmy. Good morning, Chloe," said Principal Waxelplax. "Of course, Principals first," said Wanda as both ladies entered the restroom. Crocker rushed in to take a photo, but it ended up being the principal that was tied up instead of Wanda. "Crocker!" she screamed, angry at the teacher.

Just then, Chester and A.J. ran in with a box containing the Pollywallyoptasaurus. "We got the, uh, dinosaur, Timmy," said A.J. as Crocker ran towards them demanding the box. Crocker reminded Chester of their deal that he would let the boy help him take over the world if he got the dinosaur for him. Chester, however, loyal to his friend, tossed the box to the twins. Timmy caught it in mid-air, causing Chloe to jump for joy. "Yes! We got it!" she exclaimed. They started running away when Crocker swiped it from Timmy. "Finally, after all the years of being mocked," said Crocker, ready to prove that fairies actually exist. Timmy whispered a wish to Cosmo and Wanda, who readied their wands to help the twins get out of their predicament. As Crocker opened the box, the dinosaur that was once there was revealed to be Francis's dog, Mange wearing a Pollywallyoptasaurus mask. The dog bit Crocker's leg and the cuckoo clock chimed again. "Like it?" asked Chester, holding the clock as he got close to Chloe's face. She took the clock away from him and smashed it on the floor. "That is the worst gift EVER!" she yelled in annoyance. "Dude, chill," said Timmy. "I'll chill nothing! We almost got exposed by our crazy teacher here and top it all off, Chester gives me a gift that is the most annoying thing in the entire world!" she yelled with her left eye twitching. "I need to blow off some steam THE ONLY WAY I KNOW HOW!" "Uh-oh," said Timmy, knowing that she meant another twin tussle. She ferociously leapt at him resulting in a huge fist fight. As the dust cleared, the two were covered in bruises and knew that the fight meant a week of detention for the both of them.

THE END

For now…